#and then she ruined them and i think spent 3 days staring at the wall

[the-blue-phantom]

at any given point in time im thinking about seivarden vendaai. character of all time. my poor little meow meow before that phrase even existed.

[pepsiboyy]

UNSPOKEN BOND.

pairing: chris sturniolo x fem!reader summary: where chris and reader are best friends and chris is in a toxic relationship. when reader is fed up with hearing about his frustrations with his girl, she confesses her undying feelings for him since their childhood. warnings: ANGSTTT (resolved), cursing, screaming and crying, use of y/n lol a/n: i love this. SO MUCH. you guys voted angst on the poll <3 enjoy, reblog + comment <33 wc: 3.4k+

"are you even listening to me?" chris's finger stabbed at my shoulder, and i sighed deeply as i dramatically picked up the remote and paused wall-e on the tv.

"no, chris, i'm trying to watch the movie we agreed to watch tonight." i mumbled and smiled softly at the puzzled expression on chris's face. i leaned over and fixed the loose strands.

all i knew was that chris kept yapping about his girlfriend of about six months now that i dreaded hearing about. she was emotionally draining, to say the least. and if she was for me, i couldn't even begin to imagine how she was with chris.

i had been best friends with chris since about kindergarten.

"hey!"

my head turned as i desperately tried to wipe the sand from my eyes, my tears having a hard time escaping.

the girl who had pushed me to the ground had stepped away.

"jus' cus you're a girl don't mean i won't kick ya!" the boy shouted, stepping closer which made the girl take a few steps back and run in the other direction.

i slowly opened my eyes to the boy, my eyes red as i sniffled and rubbed my elbow that had been scraped.

"you got sand in your eyes?" the boy asked as he kneeled down and brushed some hair from my eyes and behind my ear.

i nodded softly and looked at him for a moment.

"i'm chris." he gave me a dopey, toothy grin and held out his little hand. "what's yours?"

i took in a breath and held out my hand as well, gently placing it in his to shake. "i- it's y/n." i smiled.

chris shot me a smile that i could read through his bright blue eyes as well, but we both quickly whipped our heads around when a teacher was calling out his name, the little girl from before following behind with her arms crossed. "crap," chris mumbled with a deep sigh as he pulled his hands away and stood to his feet.

"christopher, what do you think you're doing, threatening to kick girls?"

"but!!" chris quickly defended.

i watched as he left and smiled to myself, standing up and brushing off my butt from the dirt.

chris always looked out for me ever since. and his brothers did the same as soon as i met them.

around sixth grade, i admitted to myself that i had feelings for chris. it was something i always kept to myself, something i never really spoke on.

something i did tell his triplet brother, nick one day by accident, but played it off as a joke because i didn't know how he felt about it.

"you know, y/n, you and chris bicker about as much as him and i do. it's hilarious."

i smiled at nick and shrugged as i took a sip of my pepsi. "well, i don't know," i mumbled as i set the soda down, "maybe it's just all the time we've spent together."

"or maybe it's because you have a big fat crush on him," nick joked, smiling as he wriggled his eyebrows and nudged my shoulder with his own.

i chuckled and shrugged softly, leaning back and sighing. "well, maybe i do." i admitted and smiled.

nick's entire expression dropped. "wait, excuse me?"

i quickly sat up and waved my hands. "no no, i was joking." i smiled nervously, causing nick to stare at me.

"that tone of yours was... pretty convincing-"

"pfft, me?" i started as i rubbed the back of my head and stared at nick. "as if i could have a crush on chris, that's.. that's insane."

nick stared at me, dumbfounded. "right. you had me there, i guess."

"anyways, what's with you and that one guy in our class?" i questioned, quickly changing the subject.

ever since then i kept it to myself.

the undying fear of rejection and ruining what him and i have - that was enough for me to try and move on.

but i couldn't.

chris and i had reached our senior year of high school, and he was now dating this girl that i watched rip the smile from his expression.

that adorable, dopey smile that made his eyes squint, taking his vision away temporarily.

it tore me apart, watching chris constantly stress about this girl for six months now.

now, i had my fair share of relationships through junior high and high school to try and get over chris. nothing serious, because i couldn't seem to feel anything for any of these people.

it was hard. having a crush on your best friend.

knowing that everything you did together was strictly platonic, and it would always be that way.

the credits began to roll on wall-e, and i let out a strangled yawn with a big stretch.

"alright, i'm gonna head home for the night." chris mumbled, eyes glued to his phone as he stood to his feet.

i stared at him and sighed, nodding. "good seeing you, chris. let's hang out tomorrow?"

chris didn't respond, and instead slipped on his shoes to head out.

as the door shut, i sighed deeply and pressed my face to my palms.

chris was never allowed to spend the night anymore since his new girlfriend. which, i suppose i would feel the same. but it still stung, having some of your greatest memories with one another being ripped away from you both.

"that fuckin' hurts!!"

chris yelled with a soft giggle, his eyes squinting as he groaned dramatically.

"come on chris, it isn't that bad!"

you smiled as your fingers attempted desperately to peel at the rubbery face mask that had stuck to chris's skin.

"it's pulling my sideburns!"

"man up!"

you smiled as you adjusted the band that held up his curly bangs from his forehead before continuing.

you had finally convinced chris to let you do his skincare. you had always wanted to, and it shocked you when he finally said you could.

"fine, but just this once."

hell, i was in love with chris. i was in love with the way his teeth had a small gap in the front, i was in love with the way his eyes creased each time he smiled, i was in love with the way he would hold me each time i was heart broken and i was in love with the way my name fell from his lips each time we saw each other.

"y/n!"

he wrapped his arms tightly around my shoulders as he tugged me into his chest, his nose burying into my hair.

"chris, i saw you yesterday," i chuckled as i hugged his waist.

"i just missed you so much."

i tensed up as i felt a tear roll down my cheek.

this wasn't uncommon, the feeling of guilt and jealousy that washed over me as i reminisced on what we once had. but now.. now it was all about his girl who he liked.

the girl who "stole his heart" he says.

the one who finally made him think, maybe relationships aren't so bad.

but she was singlehandedly ruining him, and i had to watch it happen. i tried to give him the warning, and he didn't really have a valid response.

"what did you think of her?"

chris asked as he removed his jacket and hung it up on the coatrack by the door.

i shrugged as i slumped against the couch and sighed, playing with my fingers.

"y/n?" chris sat beside me and blinked a few times. "you okay?"

"i don't like her, chris."

chris furrowed his eyebrows as he looked me up and down a few times, his expression now puzzled. "what do you mean?"

i sighed as i sat up and looked at chris. "let me get this straight, chris. she tells me she hates my outfit and good thing she doesn't shop where i do, and that at least her clothes flatter her body. she asks me if i had just gotten out of bed and if i'm a hermit, and how you could know someone like me." i stated firmly. chris swallowed. "and you didn't say a word to defend me."

"she was joking, y/n-"

"chris, if i were dating someone and he said even the slightest disrespectful joke to you, i would turn it down immediately. you realize that?" i stared at him in disbelief.

chris nodded softly as he looked down. "i understand. i'm sorry. i won't let it happen again."

that was about a month into their relationship.

i sighed as i closed my eyes and laid down, my eyes closing after i had finished crying.

my phone ringing woke me up at about 1pm.

with my hair in every direction and my eyes lidded, i groggily reached over to grab my phone and read the caller id.

chris🧸

i sighed and pressed the green answer button, pulling the phone to my ear. "hello?" i mumbled, my voice scratchy and deeper as i had yet to speak this morning.

"y/n? are you just waking up?"

i sighed as i sat up and rubbed my forehead. "yeah, doesn't matter. what's up?"

"yeah, sorry. umm. could you come over? i'm kind of.."

i let out a deep sigh as i stood up and threw on a hoodie and sweatpants. "yeah, i'll be right there. is it your dumbass girlfriend again?"

"y/n, i told you not to call her that."

"yeah yeah," i sighed as i headed straight for my door, getting in my car.

matt, chris's other triplet brother was the one to open the door for me. i smiled softly at him, and matt gave me a sad smile as he opened the door wider for me to enter. "good to see you, y/n. i feel like you never come over anymore." matt mumbled.

i gave him a soft nod and a quick side hug after he shut the front door and locked it.

matt returned upstairs to nick's room, i assumed he was helping nick pick out outfits for his next instagram post.

i looked to see chris sitting in the kitchen, his hands in his hair as he kept his elbows against the wooden kitchen table.

i sighed as i walked towards him and set a gentle hand on his shoulder. his breathing was shaky, uneven. "what's wrong, chris?"

"i- i just don't get it.. she's always accusing me of being dishonest, y/n. she thinks i'm hiding stuff from her just because i hang out with you.." chris mumbled as he looked up at me, his eyes puffy and his cheeks stained.

i sighed as i stared at him in disbelief. normally, i would soften up and tell him it isn't his fault. "so did you forget to tell her we were hanging out, or did she just think it was a huge deal?"

"well i- i forgot to tell her but i didn't think it was a big deal!"

"god, chris!" i slammed my hand to my forehead. "isn't her biggest issue with your relationship hanging out with me?" i sighed as i looked at him and quickly shook my head. "she's just overreacting, chris. like she always is."

chris stared at me for a few moments before running a hand through his hair and sighing deeply. "maybe she has a point, i'm just sick of having these fights with her."

i was fed up. it was the same thing every fucking time with these two. and i've had enough of watching my best friend get hurt.

"maybe the problem isn't just her, chris." i stated as i took a deep breath, my expression now one of anger. "maybe the problem is that you aren't seeing what's right in front of you."

chris cocked an eyebrow as he looked up at me. "what..?"

i took a deep breath as i stared at chris and took a step back. "i'm talking about me, chris. about us. ever since you helped me out of that stupid sandbox, we have been attached by the hip." i clenched my fists as i stared at him. "we were inseparable, you were my top priority, and i was yours. but now.. now you have this bitch of a girlfriend who is just ruining you! ruining us!"

chris flinched at my language, but quickly stood up. "don't call her that," he quickly stated, but i cut him off.

"no, chris. she had never liked me. i have never liked her. i'm sick of her!" i felt my face grow hot, my eyes begin to water. "chris, you silence me every time, but you don't see what i see! she's fucking ruining you. every day, i watch your smile die and your emotions crumble!"

i saw chris's eyes avert to the stairs, where i assumed nick and matt stood as they had definitely heard the shouting from nick's room.

"chris, i've been here since day one. our chemistry is unbreakable. or it was. until she came along." i stared at chris, who was now taking steps towards me.

"y/n, please don't cry-" he reached forward to pull me into an embrace, but i quickly stepped back.

"no, chris. i will cry. because i've been hopelessly in love with you for years and years now. and you have yet to see it, or do anything to defend it. and that's okay." i smiled sadly at chris, who stood in shock. "i always thought that i feared rejection or losing you. but with her in your life.. you've already left." i smiled sadly at chris.

chris stood still, his eyes glued to me. he had nothing to say. and that was fine.

i sighed and looked down, rubbing my eyes. "forget it." i mumbled as i turned on my heel, meeting eyes with nick and matt.

they both shared the same sad expression as they watched me.

i shot them a soft, sad smile before heading to the door and leaving, shutting it behind me.

four days. it had been four days since the incident.

i hadn't heard from chris at all, and i didn't expect to. i did hear from nick and matt a bit, both of them reaching out to ask how i'm doing. nick asked a few more times than matt did, offering to bring me food. i politely declined, but thanked him nonetheless.

i was bedridden the last few days. my eyes glued to the ceiling, prominent dark circles beneath them. my hands continued to pick at the skin on the edges of my nails, something chris would always stop me from doing.

"hey, why are you doing that?"

i turned to chris, who had an arm around my shoulders and a faint smile on his face. his hand reached to pull my hands apart.

"you're tampering with your pretty fingers, y/n. pick at mine instead."

he would offer, but i would tell him no after a soft laugh.

i turned to my window and frowned at the soft pitter patter that clashed with the glass, my chest rising a bit more in a deep breath before i sat up.

i went to my bathroom and looked at myself in the mirror.

i'm a fucking wreck.

i think i'd rather crawl into a hidey hole and never leave than have the public eye see me like this.

i ran the water in the sink and let my hand run beneath it before allowing my fingers to glide through my hair, gently brushing through it with my fingers.

i then went to my kitchen to find something to eat, but narrowed my eyes when seeing nothing but yogurts and an apple sitting inside.

with a deep sigh, i took a yogurt and peeled it opened, digging through the drawer to grab a spoon.

i laid against the couch and sighed as i stared at the ceiling, mindlessly eating yogurt.

strawberry flavored yogurt.

"why is this one green?"

i giggled as i held up the green strawberry to chris's face, biting my lip to suppress a laugh. "it's almost as big as your nose."

"hey!" chris clasped his hands over his nose, his face growing red. "don't even say that," he giggled as he flicked my forehead.

"ow! what'd you flick me for!"

chris simply let out a cheeky giggle and began running in the opposite direction, shamelessly apologizing to the few people he had bumped into.

i smiled at him from afar, admiring the way his silky hair bounced with each stride he took away from me before continuing to pick at the strawberries.

ding dong.

my body jolted at the loud sound as i lifted my head and sighed loudly. "coming!!" i yelled, wrapping a blanket around my pajamas and fixing my hair as i went to the door and turned the handle, opening it quickly. "hello?"

my eyes widened and my face fell.

christopher sturniolo, standing at my doorstep with soaking wet hair and shaky breaths, his hands grasping his belongings that were slightly dampened from the rain.

"chris? what are you doing here?" i asked, my voice just above a whisper.

"please, can we please talk?" chris asked, his voice sounding just as broken as mine.

i pulled the door opened further and let him in, mentally thanking him for stomping his shoes on the mat outside before trailing his feet indoors.

"take a seat, do you want a towel?" i asked him, carefully stepping inside and looking at him.

chris shot me a soft smile and nodded. "that'd be awesome, actually.. thanks.." he mumbled, standing awkwardly beside the couch. he didn't want to get it wet.

i ran to the hallway closet and grabbed a towel, smiling softly as i handed it back to him.

he thanked me and pulled it onto his head, drying his hair and face with a soft sigh.

we stood awkwardly for a few moments before we each spoke up.

"chris-"

"y/n-"

we both chuckled.

chris stared at me with a look i hadn't really seen before. well, not in a while.

"i broke up with her." chris stated.

i blinked a few times as i looked at him, slightly confused. "what? how come?"

chris stared at me, dumbfounded. "you were absolutely right. and i don't know why i let her stick around for so long." chris whispered.

i nodded as i stared as him, gently taking a seat beside him on the couch.

"what you said to me the other day, i-"

"it's okay if you don't feel the same chris." i gently set a hand on his shoulder.

"i just- i got frustrated, i accidentally opened up to something i shouldn't have, and i just don't want to ruin our friendship or what we have, or upset you, but if you don't feel the same, it's okay, i just-"

i rambled. and i was cut off.

by the feeling of chris's lips against mine.

the most gentle kiss known to man, his hand against my jaw as he closed his eyes. his bangs tickled the bridge of my nose as he tilted his head and pulled away.

"and i thought i talked too much," chris whispered, his face a bright shade of red as he smiled at me.

i stared at him in shock. "chris-"

"i'm sorry i was too stupid to realize that you've been the one for me since that day in kindergarten when that bitch shoved you in the sand."

i chuckled and gently pulled him into a tight hug, my eyes closing.

"thank you so much, chris.." i whispered.

chris hugged me back, his arms wrapping around my waist. "what're you thankin' me for?" he questioned, his hand gently rubbing my back.

i sighed and took in his scent, nuzzling into him and letting out a deep sigh.

"just... for bein' here. and the best."

chris chuckled softly against my shoulder and rubbed my back.

"thank you, y/n." chris whispered as he pulled away.

i looked at him and gently stroked his cheek. "what for?"

"for helping me realize that i've been missing out." chris whispered, pressing his forehead to mine and closing his eyes.

i smiled and sighed softly.

for years and years, chris and i had an unspoken bond. but it was spoken of as soon as it began to fade away. and now i think that bond will remain stronger than it ever was.

taglist;; @sturnioloshacker @nickgetsmewetter (will add more once my poll finishes T_T)

[lovebugism]

✶ ┄ FIX IT !

summary: you thought you were over it, the whole steve-and-nancy thing. spoiler alert: you aren't. pairing: steve harrington / f!reader word count: 3.5k warning: angst. gut wrenching angst. with a sort of happy ending. a/n: i'm such a sucker for angst it's gotta be unhealthy at this point. anyway, shout out to all my angsty fic enjoyers. let's read this and cry together <3

Having four roommates and only two bathrooms was worth it if it meant getting out of Hawkins. The apartment was a quaint little thing just outside of Indianapolis — up four flights of stairs with no elevator, cracks in the walls, and a stellar view of an alleyway.

But it was nice to have a place all your own. Sharing it with all your best friends was even better. That was the dream after all, wasn’t it? And being with Steve — that was just the cherry on top of it all.

So you weren’t going to let your mean, green, and envious heart ruin the new life you and your friends were trying to build in this tiny apartment.

You didn’t even think yourself the jealous type. Not until you realized that Steve was going to live under the same roof as his ex-girlfriend. It was dumb and it was irrational and you just couldn’t shake it.

It was probably a whole lot harder for Steve than it was for you, really. Besides, it had been years since they were together. Both of them had moved on, both of them had new and blossoming relationships.

Jonathan was good to Nancy. And to you, Steve was… well he was perfect. More importantly, he was yours. 

So it really shouldn’t bother you.

And it didn’t. Not for a while. 

Not until Nancy and Jonathan broke up out of nowhere and he’d announced to all of you on movie night that he was moving out.

He said that he missed California too much, that Argyle was getting lonely all the way out there, and that he had a spare room at his place. You couldn’t tell if that was the truth or just some bullshit excuse.

Maybe both.

What made it worse is that Nancy hadn’t seemed all that upset about it. Hell, you were more sad about him leaving than she was.

She told you as much during your weekly designated wine night (the one where you and her and Robin got drunk on cheap wine, while the rest of the boys fucked off and got drunker on cheaper beer).

“It didn’t hurt as bad as I thought it would,” she’d confessed with a shrug, only slightly tipsy and cheeks pink with it. “We… drifted apart, I guess. Just felt right to end it.”

You and Robin spent the rest of the night comforting her, anyway.

She loved Jonathan, everyone knew that. It sort of came with the whole shared trauma thing. She had to be at least a little bit sad that her person was gone, but she hid it away from the rest of you like it was her job.

But when the days got really bad, and she found herself missing Jonathan more than she liked, she sought refuge in Steve. Your Steve. 

And it made sense. He knew her better than the rest of you.

But it didn’t mean it hurt any less.

A sick feeling twists in your stomach when Steve accompanies the girl on a liquor store run without her having to ask. You watch with your heart in your throat when he leaves with her in the dead of night — a swirling bubble of jealousy in the pit of your chest with an ache so palpable you can taste it.

You spend the next several minutes trying not to look as sad as you feel while Eddie can’t stop debating on what the two of them might be talking about.

Nancy had been more reserved as of late, carrying a rain cloud over her as she wandered through the apartment like a ghost — he concludes they’re just going out to spill some hot goss. Robin makes him promise to never say those string of words ever again while you quietly dismiss yourself to your bedroom.

Nancy and Steve have been gone for an hour.

Lying in the dark and staring up at the textured, water-stained ceiling, you start to do the math. Fifteen minutes there, fifteen minutes back with traffic — but the streets are usually bare after nine o’clock. Either way, that leaves a half hour spent trying to choose what alcohol to splurge on.

You’ve seen Nancy try to pick out wine, she’s indecisive and a perfectionist to boot. She could spend hours dissecting each bottle to find the perfect one, if Robin wasn’t constantly over her shoulder rushing her.

Maybe that’s why Nancy had declined when the girl offered to tag along with them.

Or maybe she just wanted to be alone with Steve—

You have to physically shake that thought from your head. But even when you shut your eyes, it’s like the image of him and Nancy making out in the back of her Station Wagon is ingrained in the depths of your mind.

You curl into yourself and bathe in the depths of the dark abyss you’ve created in your bedroom, trying to see your way out of your handcrafted turmoil like a bad cold.

When Nancy and Steve return, they come cradling paper bags in their arms like babies.

Robin relieves the latter of the load in his hands and follows the darker-haired girl into the kitchen connected to the living room, no larger than a decent-sized closet.

Steve notices the lack of your presence as soon as he walks through the door. When he’d left, the three of you were pregaming — a feat that often led to Eddie breaking out his guitar and you and him singing terribly off-key to whatever was playing on the radio.

Now you’re nowhere to be found, and he feels it like a missed meal. He feels the ache of your absence like an empty stomach.

“Where’d she go?” Steve asks Eddie, who’s lounging on the couch and taking up the entire space — legs spread and arms thrown over the back.

The curly-haired boy takes a noisy sip of his nearly gone beer. Then exhales rather dramatically when he sits the can on his thigh. It leaves a damp ring on the denim. “Hey, buddy... Just blow in from stupid town?”

“…What?”

Eddie rolls his eyes, already annoyed and knowing more than he lets on. “She’s in her room, dingus.”

“She okay?” Steve wonders with furrowed brows, uncaring of the use of the stupid nickname because there’s bigger things to worry about apparently.

It wasn’t like you to miss a night of drinking. He gets momentarily fearful that you’d gotten sick while he was away, that he wasn’t around to help you if you had.

“Why don’t you ask her?” Eddie lilts with wide eyes, like it’s a bright idea that neither of them would’ve thought of otherwise.

His sarcasm makes Steve roll his eyes, but he heeds the boy’s words anyway.

Through the short hallway and the last door on the right, he finds you in the darkness of your shared bedroom, illuminated only by the orange streetlight that filters through the blinds. You're hid beneath the covers, a little lump on the mattress. 

He idles in the doorway and waits for you to react to his presence.

You don’t.

“Hey, babe,” he greets cautiously after concluding you just hadn’t heard the door squeak open upon his arrival. “You feel okay?”

You mumble something he can’t quite make out. He takes the raised infliction as an affirmative and shifts his weight on his feet because it’s unlike you to be so one-note with him.

“Well, I, uh— I bought some of that wine you like... I couldn’t remember if you liked the blackberry or blueberry, so I ended up just getting both, you know, just in case.”

“Okay,” you respond after several agonizing seconds. Your voice sounds so fragile in the still darkness. Like he didn’t already know something was wrong.

He so desperately wants to pry but chooses to err on the side of caution for now, out of fear of turning the bad, worse.

“You wanna come down and try it with me? If you don’t like it we can always go back—”

“I’m okay,” you interrupt gently, with a tone so soft and coated with so much emotion that it makes his heart sink. You’re anything but and he knows it.

“Okay,” he nods anyway with the hope that he can pull you from this funk you’d managed to fall into. “Do you, uh… Do you want me to stay in here with you?”

He hears your deep sigh and sees the way the wad of blankets rises and falls again. A telltale sign of your annoyance. He knows then that he’s overstayed his welcome.

Your voice remains quiet but loses its kindness when you tell him: “You can do whatever you want, Steve.”

He’s hurt by the way you’re so suddenly short with him, then angered because he didn’t do anything to deserve it in the first place.

“Okay, what’s wrong with you? What did I do?”

You don’t answer. You just sigh again, the same really big, dramatic one that’s more to showcase your irritation with him than anything else.

You’re more than keen to end the conversation right there, but Steve isn’t. Not when something’s eating you away from the inside out and he can’t do anything to help you because you won’t let him. 

“Babe, c’mon. I get it, alright? You’re mad at me. Just tell me what I did wrong so I can fix it.”

“You can’t fix it,” you monotone, stifled beneath the covers.

“I can’t fix it?” he repeats with furrowed brows. “What do you mean, I can’t fix it?”

You use your silence as an answer, as a weapon. It’s almost worse than any silver-tongued reply you could've given him. The quiet forces him to think for himself and imagine all the things he could’ve done wrong that he can’t take back. It feels like quicksand.

Did he forgot to kiss you good morning? Of course, he didn’t — actually, he gets mad at you for forgetting — and you were golden before he left. Eddie probably said something stupid, that was likely. Or maybe Robin made a joke that upset you, that was even more likely. 

He figures it’s something in between all those. Something silly that feels like the end of the world. He can make it better. He always makes it better.

Steve lifts the lump of covers you shield yourself with and crawls beneath them with the intention of pulling you out of the void you’ve sunken into.

It’s not so comfortable, lying in bed in socks and jeans and a collared shirt, but he doesn’t need to feel good right now — you do. He’ll be content if he can just hold you in his arms for a couple of hours, the rest of the night if that’s what you need.

But he can’t even do that.

He reaches for your arm, fingers just barely trailing across the warm skin there, and you jerk away from him like he’s shocked you.

It startles him, how quick you are to avoid him. It has him jerking back too, because you’ve never denied him the opportunity to touch you. He becomes the same sort of storm cloud that you are now, because he doesn’t know what he did to deserve this. Any of it.

“Why are you doing this?” he asks you, less soft than he’d been before.

You sniffle. “I told you I didn’t want you going out alone with Nancy anymore,” you mumble, face still shoved into your pillow. The words are slightly muffled but he can hear the tears that coat your voice. 

“That’s what this is about?” he wonders, not as empathetic as you’d hoped he might be, but genuinely confused. With your back to him, you don’t see the smile pulling at his lips while he shakes his head, like it’s funny to him. “Babe, we were just getting drinks. It’s no different than you going out with Robin.”

“It’s totally different! Because I was never in love with Robin. She was never in love with me—”

“Well, I beg to differ,” he murmurs in a soft laugh.

“It’s not funny, Steve,” you retort wetly and then sniffle again. When you turn to face him, he sees for the first time what he’s done to you.

The orange of the streetlight lamp outside bathes you in a sunset shade of neon — your eyes are glassy with tears that gather at your lashes. Emotions glow at the tip of your nose and your cheeks. Your skin would be hot to the touch if he felt you now.

“Do you know how weird it is for me? To watch my boyfriend and his ex go fuck around with me?” you ask him with a scrunched nose and brows, like your trying to keep yourself from falling apart in front of him.

“It’s not like that and you know it,” Steve scolds. “She just wanted to get alcohol for tonight and had some shit to get off her chest. I mean, she’s been having a really hard time lately—”

“It’s not your job to take care of her, Steve!” you shout before you even realize you’re shouting. You take in a shuddered breath and let it out in a trembling sigh, shining eyes flitted away from him and towards the ceiling as you calm yourself down.

When you start your lament again, you’re quieter.

“You can’t just be this, like, emotional crutch for her every single time something’s wrong. She’ll just get invested in you all over again and…”

Steve watches from beside you, propped up on his elbow, as you trail off. The frown between your eyebrows deepens, a great and inquisitive crevice, while your eyes widen and your mouth falls softly agape — like you’ve discovered something in the midst of your rant.

“Is— Is that what you want?” you ask him then. “Do you, like, need her attention to feed your ego or something?”

He’s too offended by your words to tell you all the ways they aren’t true. “What? No! Why would you say that?”

“Because it’s embarrassing, Steve.”

“What is?”

“Watching you and her together!” you admit through a tightening throat. You rise from where you’d been laying down and Steve follows you, settling in front of you as you wrap your arms around your knees. “When I have to sit here, by myself, while you guys spend time alone. When she always knows what you’re up to, and I don’t—”

“I’m sorry,” he apologizes quietly, because he doesn’t know what else to say.

“—It’s not fair. She’s not your girlfriend, Steve, I am. It’s your job to take care of me, not her.”

Steve deflates like a popped balloon. His chin falls to his chest and his eyes squeeze shut at the weight of your words.

It’s like you’re reminding him that he’s supposed to be in love with you and not someone he cared for a long time ago. Like you felt the need to remind him because you thought he’d forgotten somewhere down the line.

It hurts him too. It feels like you’ve got his heart in your hands and you're wringing it in your grip.

“You’re right,” Steve concedes with a nod. “I just... I guess, I never thought about it like that.”

He feels the same way, too, sometimes. When you and Eddie go all buddy-buddy mode and want to spend time together.

When you’re out all night with him at band practice. When you’re attached at the hip and having sleepovers in his room to talk about everything and nothing for hours until you fall asleep when the sun rises. When you both come down at one in the afternoon the next day for breakfast, giggling about the thing you said the night before.

It makes him feel like he’s missing out. Like you’re sharing parts of yourself with someone else and he isn’t allowed to see it.

And sometimes he gets irrational — keeps himself up all night as he imagines you and Eddie making out on his floor after going through all his new tapes or fucking in his unmade bed while he keeps a hand on your mouth to keep you quiet.

Steve concocts waking nightmares for himself whenever you’re not beside him.

But even then, it’s different. Because he used to do all that shit with Nancy. They fell in love, made out for hours because they didn’t want to stop feeling each other, had sex on a twin-sized bed and tried to keep from falling out of it while they did.

You’d never done that shit with Eddie — or with anyone you’re now sharing a home with. Besides Steve.

Because he’s yours now. And you’re his.

But you can’t stop thinking about how he used to be Nancy’s too.

“I don’t need you to tell me that I’m right,” you murmur with the childlike shake of your head, slow and lazy, as you wipe your wet cheek on your shoulder. “I need you to do something about it— I needed you to do something about it a long time ago.”

“I will, okay? I will. I promise. I’ll fix it,” Steve assures you quickly, with wide and hopeful eyes and a nodding head that makes his hair flop against his forehead.

He can see you losing hope in front of him, like a flame going slowly out. You’re slipping away. He keeps fighting to keep a hold of you.

“No.”

“…No?”

“You can’t,” you sniffle. “You can’t fix it.”

“Baby—”

“It’s not fair. To either of us,” you tell him, looking at him through clumped together lashes and heavy, sparkling eyes. “And it’s not your fault, okay? But I can’t keep feeling this like. It’s not healthy— this isn’t… this is what a healthy relationship is supposed to look like. It shouldn’t feel like this.”

Steve blinks back stinging tears. He brings his hand to his face and rubs the back of it against his burning nose. He feels a bit like you do now, hopeless. You’re slipping away and he is too and you both just keep on slipping, just going going going.

“You’re not even—” he clears his throat when his voice breaks halfway through. “You’re not even gonna let me try?”

You shrug weakly. Tears burn as they gather at your waterline. You revel in the sting because it’s better than the hole ripping through your chest.

“I don’t know. I think… I think it’s too late.”

“Why would you say that?” Steve agonizes with the shake of his head, looking like a wounded puppy as he gaze at you with brown eyes full of hurt. “Don’t say that. Don’t.”

“Steve—”

“No,” he interjects firmly, stopping the spiral before it can start again.

He positions himself so he’s sitting further ahead of you and holds your arms in his numbing hands, ducking down to catch your gaze when you try to look away from him.

“I love you, okay? I’m an idiot and I’m sorry and I'm stupid, alright? I wasn’t thinking. But we can’t just… It’s not too late. I can fix this. I promise I can fix this.”

Your chest aches at his plea, at the way he still doesn’t understand.

It’s not his fault you feel this way, not entirely. It’s not anyone’s fault and that’s what’s so scary. There’s no one to blame the pain on, no root to cut out and put an end to it. You’re frightened that it’s always going to be there, constantly in the way, forbidding either of you from ever moving on.

“Steve...” you murmur through tears while the boy gathers you in his arms. You try to stop him but your voice gets caught in your throat halfway through. Because you don’t want him to stop. Not ever.

He nurses you into his velvet hold, wrapping a pair of strong arms around you to cage you against him. He presses his nose into your temple while he rocks you back and forth. “I promise. Everything’s okay. I’ll fix it.”

He repeats that like a mantra while you keep your head pressed against his chest — everything’s gonna be okay, I can fix it, I love you.

It’s a promise. One that he’d rather die than break. 

You stay there, curled against his chest, while dark feelings ebb and flow in a constant and bitter cycle.

You hope he’s right. That these big feelings are just big stupid feelings that'll pass come the pink and blue sunrise. That everything really is going to be okay and that he really can fix it. 

Because even now, all hopeless and full of doom and gloom, you feel soothed in his hold. You’ve never felt safer anywhere else. You’ve built a home in the peace of Steve’s arms and you want to keep on living in them.

“I’m gonna make it better,” he whispers against the crown of your head. If you’ll let me.

He feels you nod lazily against him. “Okay.”

[berryz-writes]

To Have And To Hold...Till Death Do Us Part

Azriel x reader

Summary: Azriel has spent decades centuries on trying to find his mate. A mate is supposed to be that one constant person in you're life. But as we all know Azriel was damned to an unlucky fate

Note: FIRST TIME WRITING ANGST be nice<3. also yes i will be reverting to fluff again. its my little cosy corner :)

The dry, bland taste of the oats coated Azriel's tongue and he fought to swallow it down. A fight similar to his will to get out of bed every morning. Also similar to the fight of carrying on each day.

Mindlessly stirring his food which had now gotten cold he thought about what he would do for Star fall next week. Maybe he would get drunk so he wouldn't remember the night. Or maybe he would go up to the balcony to get the "best view" but in fact sulk in a corner because he didn't have a special someone to share the night with.

Pulling himself back to reality and berating himself for being ungrateful and forgetting about how much his family had done for him, Azriel watched one of his shadows depart and slowly move across the table until it had reached the open French doors. He tried calling it back but to no avail. Taking a deep breath Azriel continued eating, his shadows were always up to something. Maybe it was bringing back important information. Like maybe who his mate was.

His heart became heavy again at the thought. Still no mate. Azriel had seen so many things, lived through so much and sometimes he thought he deserved a mate. Sometimes when he wasn't so absorbed in self hate he thought to himself maybe he did deserve a mate like Rhys had Feyre or Cassian had Nesta. The thought left him as soon as it had appeared. He shook his head, he didn't deserve a mate. He would ruin her. He wasn't good enough. No where near good enough.

Scoffing at himself for even going down the path of thinking he out of all people could have a mate, he carried on eating his oats, finishing them in record time to get to training with the Valkyries and the priestesses.

***

"Isn't that your shadow?" Nesta asked pointing toward a lone shadow which was making it's way back in to the house, moving across the training ring floor and the edges of the walls before it disappeared completely. She was laying down on the mat, sweat dripping down her face. It had been an intense training session, Nesta having started to channel her anger into physical exercise resulted in Azriel having to hold the punching pads tighter than usual. He was happy for her. Glad she was better now and getting used to her fae body.

"It is" Azriel replied, his confusion increasing slightly. They were acting extremely strange. And the one that had left this morning still hadn't come back. Not to mention the shadows still with him were dancing around as if they were waiting for something. He shrugged it off. It was probably a new bakery or some drama from Velaris they had picked up on. Nosy pricks.

Nesta's silver eyes held concern, "Are you okay?" She bit her lip there was something like recognition in her eyes, as if she once held the same vacant stare that he did. "Are they usually like this?" Nesta questioned again, sitting up and trying to read his expression. He shook his head, flipping his water flask upside down to realise it was empty "They'll come back eventually"

She stood up and brushed her clothes down "You could get it checked. I heard Madja's working late today"

Azriel tried not to get angry. It wasn't as if she would know how it was basically impossible for any healer to ever help him.

"We'll see" He replied instead, already brushing the idea away. All he'd get was an afternoon wasted and a whole lot of poking at his back and wings. It wasn't that big of a deal. Well...that's what he hoped.

***

Flipping the dagger in his hand he began to sharpen the other side, making sure it was as sharp as possible so it would make a clean cut. He didn't need more blood on his hands. Well more than usual anyway. Looking to his right he saw Cassian stretching out his wings and yawning "I'm off to bed. Don't stay up past your bedtime" He grinned. Azriel shook his head a smile on his face even though the joke wasn't funny.

"I won't" Azriel lied. Cassian looked at him for longer than usual as if trying to figure something out. Of course he didn't. Azriel's secrets were too well hidden.

"I'm here if you ever need to talk" Cassian said resting a hand on his shoulder. Azriel gave him a rare smile and patted his hand "I know brother"

Leaving him to sit peacefully on the roof Azriel looked up at the sky. Automatically his eyes searched for the one star constellation he loved. Lyra it's name was. His mother had pointed it out to him when he was young. Said it was one of the constellations that would never leave him. Sometimes it felt like this constellation was the only stable thing in his life. Something that would never leave him and so far it was living up to it's reputation.

***

All fucking night his shadows had been restless, moving about and not letting him get one minute of sleep. Yes he ran on 4 hours of sleep perfectly fine but his shadows didn't even let him close his eyes for one minute without being irritating. Not to mention his shadows from previously hadn't come back. What the fuck was their problem?

Finally giving up he went down to the kitchen, drank a glass of water and stomped upstairs on to the balcony. His shadows were still making incessant noises and moving around too much for this early in the morning. Azriel walked over to the edge of the roof, standing on the edge and freefell down down down.

The air hit him at the perfect angle and gods did he wish he could keep falling. If he hadn't opened his wings at the right time he would have died but who really cared? It was just him after all.

He flew over Velaris, the sun barely visible resulting in a still and quieter city at this time. Not to mention it was Saturday, most of the fae probably nursing their hangovers right now. He veered left toward the Sidra, going past Feyre's bright and cosy artists corner, following his shadow at a leisurely pace as it stopped in front of what seemed to be a row of houses. They were bright and colourful, pale pinks and bright blue's, pleasing to look at. Settling on the roof of a house opposite them he watched the sun rise, his shadows finally calm. It felt like his heart was calm too.

A few minutes of sitting led to one of the rooftop doors opening and......and Azriel couldn't describe what and who stepped out.

She was a goddess.

She was the fulfilment of his dreams.

She was the most ethereal fae he had seen.

She was...gods words couldn't describe her never ending beauty. Moving toward her flowers towards the right of the roof she began to water them, her soft brown hair falling forward and covering her face slightly. His heart hurt. He didn't know why.

He could stare at her for an eternity. Her green eyes sparkled in the sunlight, her pink lips looked like they could say the sweetest words. Like they could soothe any pain he had from one whisper of her sweet voice. He swallowed.

He wanted to talk to her. Enjoy her company. Make her smile. Make her laugh. Watch as her eyes brightened because of him.

He could change. For her he could, he thought to himself as she stood up from watering the roses and looked at the sun rise too.

Her cheeks held a slight blush, hair dishevelled as though she had just gotten out of bed. Azriel was cataloguing each and every thing about her, storing it into his memory to cherish.

Clenching his fists and readying himself, memorising what he would say to this oh so gorgeous female he extended his wings.

Softly landing behind her, he felt like his tongue was twisted. Her hair fell in waves down her back, her arms wrapped around herself.

Taking a deep breath he cleared his throat. She whipped round and it felt like time stopped.

Her hand rested on her chest and her eyes were wide with surprise. Beautiful. That was all that went through his mind as he drank her in, looking at each and every perfect feature.

"Who are you?" His heart felt like it would burst from happiness. Her voice was music to his ears. She had straightened up slightly, her shocked expression gone as she patiently waited for Azriel to speak. He didn't want to. What if he messed it up?

"Azriel. Sorry I....I didn't mean to invade your privacy I-" He cleared his throat cursing under his breath for his stupid twisted tongue. Her lips turned up in a small smile as if she was encouraging him, waiting for him to finish. Like she actually cared for what he had to say.

"I just saw you watching the sunset- not that I was watching you...I meant I just saw you here-" A small laugh escaped her as she watched him struggle. He knew one thing. It was that his heart was no longer his. It was hers. His soul belonged to her. His broken and bloody soul was hers however much it had gone through.

Falling in love was impossible he used to think but looking at her now, he thought it possible.

He was so busy in trying to memorise her face he didn't realise his shadows from earlier swirling around her wrists and waist as if they had found their home.

"It's alright. Lets watch the sunset together, the view's gorgeous from here" Her soft voice beckoned him closer and as she turned back around her arm knocked one of the vases. She turned around trying to grab it and in that split second, she fell.

Over the roof and down to where Azriel couldn't see her.

His heart raced as he ran to the edge and jumped down onto the concrete floor, using his wings to slow his descent.

He had heard the sickening thud when she had fallen but he refused to believe it.

He watched as her lifeless body lay there.

Still.

The life in her completely gone. Silence rang in his ears, his throat closed up, he wanted to rip out his heart. Why?

Why?

Why?

Why was all he could think about it as he looked at her broken form. Blood pooled from her head, a puddle of deep red gathering around her hair. His shadows swarming around her, frantically trying to do something.

Maybe if he weren't so useless. Maybe if he had any dignity or shame he wouldn't have stared on and could have helped her. It felt like his voice was lost.

He looked at her dead eyes and when he did it snapped. The golden thread sparkling between the two of them, connecting them, before dying out again. The moment of completeness vanished in a split second.

Mate.

She was his mate.

He let out a tortured scream, his own voice ringing in his ears. His legs weakened as he dropped to the ground next to her, his energy depleted.

Tears slipped down his face and for the first time he didn't wipe them away. Didn't berate himself for crying because this....this was a tragedy everyone should have cried over. But instead it was only him watching her once smiling face lay face down on the concrete.

Why was it him? He hadn't even gotten to see her smile properly because of him. Hadn't been able to hear her speak completely. Hadn't heard the sweet words she was sure to voice if he ever got the chance to get to know her. 

His eyes wouldn't leave her body as he choked out sobs, eyes blurry and wanting to look away from her limp body at the same time. His....His mate.

The word left him feeling empty. All he wanted was right in front of him except she was gone. She was dead and it was because of him.

His hands shook, his control slipping away as time passed, slowly reaching for her. He gently touched her hair ever so softly as if maybe she were sleeping and she would wake up. Slowly moving it to the side, he could finally see her beautiful beautiful face. A face which had been removed of all colour and life.

A strangled sound escaped him as he looked on unable to tear his eyes away. His heart fractured into so many pieces he didn't know what he'd do anymore. How could he live without her? Life wasn't worth living without her.

His mate.

Tears made his vision blurry as he tried to memorise her perfect features. She was a poem he would never be able to memorise. She was the dream he was always so far from reaching. She was his except she wasn't. Not anymore. Because she was gone.

He wished he could take her place. Wished he had died after seeing his mate. He would have died happy. Finally would know what true happiness was before dying.

Any alternate way of living his heart didn't know how to. Without her in his life he couldn't search for any reason for continuing on.

Gods he didn't even know her name. At the thought of this his lips pressed together trying to stop the heart wrenching scream he wanted to release. He didn't even know her damn name.

His mate.

His mate who was lying dead in front of him. Looking down at his hands he saw they were shaking, so was his body. He didn't deserve to live. This perfect female in front of him wasn't able to live her life so why should he, a broken and unlovable torturer?

The glint of his dagger beckoned to him. It would be oh so easy to end things now. Stab himself through the heart and lay down, lifeless just like his mate. At least they would die together. Taking out his dagger he looked at. Really looked at it.

The fates had known.

This was why he had sharpened his dagger. For this exact reason.

If his mate didn't deserve to live neither did he. He lifted the dagger, tears streaming down his face, his heart broken in too many places to fix, no one left for him in this world. Looking at his mates face for the last time he pushed the dagger straight into his heart.

Fitting ending he supposed. After all the killing he had done, he had ended his own life. Blood seeped from the stab wound but he didn't care. He tried to touch her face one last time, extending his hand,  but he couldn't. Because he had collapsed onto the cold floor next to her, unable to touch her for the first and last time.

He was damned. His fate was unlucky.

He was a bastard who didn't deserve anything.

Without even realising his shadows had left him too.

"LYRA" A heart wrenching scream echoed in his ears as the blood emptied out his body. That was his mate's name.

Lyra

If he were still alive he would have smiled and cried at the irony of it all but he wasn't. His eyes now stared straight up as his heart no longer pumped blood.

A fae walking past would see it as a tragedy but it was more than that. It was a man who would never get a happily ever after no matter how much he wished for it. It would be a story passed down to generations. A story with no happy ending.

***

If only Azriel had known that he was in fact loved. That he did have people that held him close to their heart

If only he had known.

Rhys who was waiting in his meeting room for their debrief.

Cassian who had set up a game of chess for him and Azriel to play.

Nesta who thought up new techniques for fighting that she would show him the next morning.

Feyre who was painting his portrait in her art studio.

Nyx who was waiting for his favourite uncle to come home so they could fly together.

Little did they know Azriel would never come home again.

....first and last time writing angst :) if u can even call it that

MASTERLIST

[reagans-malewife]

Broken

Trigger/content warnings: Swearing Relationships: Brett x Reagan A/N: Written for day 2 of @breaganweekbabeee Prompt: Broken inventions + human touch Word count: 707 Day 1 | Day 2 | Day 3 | Day 4 | Day 5 | Day 6 | Day 7

Summary: Even from shadow prison, Rand still messes up.

Also on Ao3!

Reagan glanced around the room, eyes scanning over the scattered papers, burnt drywall, and other remains of the fight today. She took a breath and stood up, her gaze stretching past her other teammates, out through the hole in the wall. After a moment, she brushed her scraped hands against her lab coat, thin streaks of red trailing in their wake, before walking towards the door.

Brett was worried, to say the least. He didn't expect her to say anything, but when he couldn't read a single emotion from her expression, it became frightening. He'd understand mad, upset, heartbroken, or even disgusted, but her eyes were calm, lips stoic, and overall, she just looked empty. He glanced around at his teammates, all who seemed too stunned to speak. Beyond that, they looked fine, so Brett darted past them, trying to catch up to Reagan’s fast stride. “Reagan?!” He called with equal parts concern and desperation. It didn’t take him long to catch up to her, but he kept his distance. She looked like she was balancing on a tightrope of her emotions, and disturbing that would be detrimental to at least one of them, and he really didn’t want to find out who.

She only stopped walking when she got to her lab, shoulders deflating as she stood still. That was when Brett tried again. “Reagan,” he nearly whispered, “are you-?” But he didn’t need to finish his sentence. One look at her was enough to tell that her world seemed to be crumbling- again. She stared up at Brett, tears pricking the corners of her eyes, and all Brett could do was look back with sympathy.

“I can’t deal with this place,” she finally said, turning away. “I have spent months- months, Brett- working on this! The machine should’ve been ready next week. That’s when the Robes are expecting it, and that’s when I planned to have it finished! But-” she couldn’t even find the words to express her exasperation over the entire situation. Brett watched as she picked up the robotic arm, studied it for a moment, then tossed it back towards the monitor, which was now fractured, fragments of the electronics scattered across the floor. “All of my code was saved internally. No way for a mole or a competing organization to steal it. The last time I backed it up-- It’ll take at least a few weeks to rewrite all of that.”

This time Reagan grabbed a robotic eyeball, the projection from it flickering and glitching obnoxiously. “I would’ve been on track if it wasn’t for my fucking father! That deadbeat, dogshit, selfish bastard always ruins everything!!” She chucked the eye towards the monitor, sending splinters and sparks flying from it. “If only he could pull his head out of his ass and see that his actions have fucking consequences! Or even just think through one thing before he does it! When has anything he’s done ever ended well? He fucked with my memory, fucked with my DNA, for God’s sake, invented this batshit robot that tried to kill everyone! And now trying to break out of shadow prison, back into a workplace that’d probably try to kill him on site?!”

She snatched a mostly-in-tact robotic leg from the ground, and suddenly, the anger in her eyes scared Brett.

“Reagan,” he said quietly, placing a hand on her shoulder. She nearly jumped, as if she’d forgotten he was here. “Hey, sweetheart, put down the leg, okay?” Just as he’d asked, Reagan put it down, turning fully to face him. “Your dad sucks, I know, I’m sorry he does. And you don't deserve any of the shit he puts you through. But the Robes know what happened, and they should be far more than understanding. After all, it was their prison that he managed to break out of. Plus, you’re literally a genius. There’s no way you’re not going to remember how to make that, and I bet it’ll be better this time.”

“Yeah,” she sighed. Brett couldn’t stand to see her like this, so he chose not to. Instead, he wrapped his arms around her, smiling gently when Reagan relaxed into his touch.

“It’s going to be okay.”

[eureka-its-zico]

Hi, I'm back with another essay 😂

I've had a busy week at work and I thank the heavens it is Friday because I need to just sit and stare at a wall for a while and decompress 😂 Also, my week's been fully thrown off since Monday as I did not sleep at all that night so I've been all over the place. HOWEVER, it's been a fairly alright week!

I thought I'd send in an ask to mainly talk video games because Dragon Age, ME AND Baldur's Gate? Especially ME?! I don't get to talk about ME enough!

Okay, so I have to admit that for most of the game, my party was Shadowheart, Karlach and the gith chick, Lae'zel, that you don't like 😂 And I have to admit that at first I was on the fence about her, but she quickly grew on me and even more so as the story progressed. Larian Studios gave each of their characters a great background and amazing personalities. And majority of them have great character progression as the game progresses, imo! (there's some things that happen in that game that I cannot comment about yet, but honestly, Larian Studios are creative geniuses lol)

In regards to Lae'zel, I will definitely want to hear more of your thoughts as you progress through the game!

Also, I cackled at the fact you restarted the game because you found out you missed Gale! 😂 I have to admit though - I would absolutely do the same! Let me know what you decide on him, because I went through the whole game and my opinion about him didn't change 😂

How are you finding the game so far? What do you think of the story and the characters you encountered? Both, the characters you can have in your party and NPC's? Have you tried to speak with any animals yet? 😂

Coming up to Dragon Age and Mass Effect… It's been years since I touched a Dragon Age game, but I remember the first and second games fondly. But Mass Effect… Oh boy, haha. I played the games… I don't even know how many times. ME2 still to this day holds a special part in my heart so when they announced an ME Legendary Edition with all three games reworked, all shiny and pretty?? You bet I got them and played through all three games :D And it felt like playing them for the first time again. Also, Garrus? Yes, please!

Have to admit, I was disappointed at the ending on ME3, both because of the ending they gave Commander Shepard and also because the ending that they originally came out with was… a flop and unsatisfying, though they gave longer endings after a patch because of fan disappointment. And I will forever think that the "secret ending" of Commander Shepard's N7 logo in those ruins actually means they aren't dead (there should also be a new ME game???! And they showed Liara in the trailer??!).

The universe that ME has, with the story and characters is just absolutely mind blowing and those games are beautiful ❤ And personally, I look for games that have a rich and deep story so the fact that we are talking about DA, ME and Baldur's Gate right now? My heart is singing and I am just all warm and happy haha

Another one of my favourites is Witcher 3. AND it was a fave before Henry Cavill became a live action Geralt 😂 I spent a lot of hours on that game... One could even say too many, but if anyone does - they're wrong 😂

But of course, I have to take a moment and scream about "Violent Delights", because excuse me? Where has Enishi Yukishiro been and why have I not seen him?? 👀 I know what I'm watching over the weekend lol I need to find time to go through your whole master list because your writing is like nourishment and it does unexplainable things to me!

And that sneak peek for chapter 7..? Oh fuck. These two petty fools will be the end of me 😂

On a personal note, thank you for your kind words in your reply. I appreciate you for taking the time to reply and share your lovely words with me because they mean a lot ❤

I hope your week has been great, Jenn! And I hope you will have a lovely, restful weekend! Sending you lots of virtual hugs! ❤

Okay so I KNOW you just sent me a brand new ask but I need to answer this one first! I am so sorry it took me so long to reply 😩

How have your weeks been going? It’s been a while since we’ve checked in with one another! I sincerely hope that no technology has been acting up and that your days have been peaceful and content 🖤

DID YOU BY CHANCE WATCH RUROUNI KENSHIN: THE FINAL WITH ENISHI YUKISHIRO?!!??? I legit wrote that thinking it would get him out of my system but it actually did not lol and I’m already just planning on continuing it but it’s just going to be filth. Pure smutty filth and I refuse to apologize 🤣🤣

Right now Karlach is still currently my fav! Her character is just so FUN. She has such a good attitude, and she is definitely the type of person I would want in a real-life crew. I’m torn on the love interest part of it because like…so far I like none of them lol. Astarion is in the lead, but barely, just because he’s a vampire and I’m a whore for love bites 😈 lol but I have noticed that he does have these soft moments through the indifference he conveys. He’s just different from who I usually pick in games. Although, in Cyberpunk I picked Judy but if I could’ve picked Johnny (absolutely LOVE Keanu) I would’ve lol. I love broody men.

I agree with you on ME3!! I’m so glad they went back and added more to it. I think it allowed a lot of us to get the closer we needed when it came to our Commander Shepherds. And yeah, if you chose the destroy option, they hinted that he/she was still alive, but I could never choose that one. I’m such a paragon lol I wanted everyone to get along and if my character had to sacrifice herself to do it, I did it every time (I can’t do that to Eve) 😩😩 except the one time to see if the destroy ending was worth it. I won’t hold my breath about the new DA and ME trailers they showcased a couple years ago, because Andromeda was not a fav lol. I think trying to bring in a new character to take over for shepherd is going to be incredibly hard, but I am interested to see if the continue with the storyline of inquisition for DA!

Baldur’s Gate 3 is just such a breathe of fresh air because I’m such a whore for a good storyline. I LOVE them. It makes it so much more immersive and makes you care about the outcomes of those in your party and your character. Witcher 3 was sooooo good at that too!

I’m still waiting to replay Cyberpunk 2077 from the beginning because of the Sons of Liberty DLC. I’ve heard amazing things about it, and I’m hyped but I got 2 weeks left of Uni work and then I graduate and I’m DONE! I’m so ready lol 🤣🤣

Thank you for always being such an absolute joy to talk to and for the essays lol. For being one of the sweetest humans alive. I hope your weekend is treating you well 🖤🖤 much love

[taciturned-loqua]

The Aftermath

Characters: | Lovecraft | | Calypso | | Childe | (implied)

Angst w/out comfort

Summary: After the events* of the murder cases, aristocrat Lovecraft Lee isolates himself and descends into a state of misery. Mainly written for the members of Astronetwrk who participated in the game, not an (x reader) but still, feel free to read! (*Events: see POST)

Warnings: Mentions murder cases, disappearance, mentions Lovecraft having nightmares, Caly x Childe, Lovecraft is sick, mentions blood once, potential spoilers for the plot of the game maybe???. If I miss any please tell me and I’ll add it on.

Word Count: 586

Notes: I hated this. Think I didn’t do well writing it but eh, still. THANK YOU MODS SO MUCH AS WELL AS PARTICIPANTS. 

Please consider a reblog in addition to a like! I would really appreciate it <33

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3 half-drunken cups of tea. Pieces of paper stacked onto each other, filled to the brim and overflowing with intricate words. The soft dessert he would’ve preferred if less sweet, but still 2 bites away from being finished. 1 lone figure, staring with disbelief into the now empty table they had tea and shared jokes at. Yet another wave of loss. How unfortunate.

more utc!

A good night’s sleep was rarely achieved, and when it was, only through the help of Baizhu’s herbal medication. Even then, it wasn’t uncommon to wake up in cold sweat, a sign of the nightmares he had forgotten (or were they memories of the horror?). Sickly grey skin, thinned down hair and a pinched smile he only wears when retrieving things from his door. 

After the traumatic events — the sudden passing of his husband, the death and disappearance of the detectives who acted as a source of comfort for him — Lovecraft couldn’t bear the haunting voices whenever he saw the now empty table or the previously blood-stained living room. He was all alone, now. Everyone who was once close to him was taken away, other aristocrats shamelessly whispering behind his back and his good-for-nothing parents only helped for the public image. All alone, and the sole person who’s alive amongst this mess played a part in his loss. How could she? How dare she? They were so close to him, and he cared for them both so dearly. They were one of the first to talk to him without having to remind him about his late husband. Lovecraft couldn’t do it anymore, everywhere he went and everything he did seemed to become pointless. 

Now, instead of the sun-bathed streets, aromatic breakfasts from across the house and Percival sleeping by his side the aristocrat would wake up to, it was a dark and hollow room, always cold and stiff. The only scent that would be present was the smell of dewy grass when the window was unlocked, exposing a disconnected environment from society. It was a routine for him to stare at the polearm hung on the wall, across from where he sits for simple meals such as a cup of coffee (he no longer wanted to touch tea) and sometimes a piece of deep-fried dough sent to him by the detectives…the same ones who were once colleagues with Loqua and Snob, the same ones who tried to discover the story, to unravel the mysteries. Truly a shame that their tea-times were no longer.

Golden sunlight suited Liyue well, as if always engulfing the nation with wealth and prosperity, yet there will forever be places where the sun cannot enter. 

.

.

.

“Calypso! My dear, finished observing the one who used to pride himself as an aristocrat?” 

“Today’s the last day. We’ve made sure that his parents’ money funded towards the Feiyun Commerce Guild will be spent on our lawyers without having to worry about the Lee potentially ruining our plan. He’s a lost cause now.”

Obligatory tags: @i23kazu, @snobwaffles, @yzeniko, @cherry-colored-petals

Taglist: send an ask to be added!

[libidomechanica]

“All whiskers, who in their shall burrowing”

A kimo sequence

               1

All whiskers, who in their shall burrowing earth, and near as like a beast cloud then, in base, for breath!

               2

But where the carrion cause of his drinks I slept, kind of the soft and then the Land. And you are!

               3

But sicke, and wrong. He stations, all things. Ah, general. Sicker that but a measure for every day.

               4

For then the wolves, he beating must and here we saw the old crash, someone, for me in suffer thine.

               5

In beauteous and Nature, for herb and trios! Smiles. My superstition. Because of Cupid come thus?

               6

Words tas-ket doth true spend in him, to recognize. Thy hope hasten to chace: all well-please and see.

               7

Thought dull decide, hanging, darkness a friendship’s hands, and through camps the flame- hot. She cruel me Papa.

               8

To him for his lips as right be now in a spirit shall lively love. But clear, and my dropped scorch’d.

               9

The sky retiring in a glancing found. Ground his layd, when desire of kiss, she flow. Alone.

               10

Sat could sup! Spent hear every brake, stay as he none is not think its breached over and discover.

               11

Compare. I came, but we mee. Bats were be ruled and one for then earliest to forbearest more!

               12

His way: but the convenient, receives. Or Scherbatoff, or ruins, all tree what intermix’d soil.

               13

Ah fon, for to see the lover a spin. Nay saloon the love like, the doth consistory, throng.

               14

Would look’d down repay it care of hottest throng can ever. Perhaps them till that he took pity.

               15

When thou free. But glories, thus invited to walls, flung blades, or treads were best of any sigh off.

               16

By a dunce. But sell love seen drugs which some where forbids all come. And sat all as a ghost, for part.

               17

Itself and that long, a few resource thou shall they beheld stella thinne. Of an Italy shoe.

               18

But we’ll speak give their neck of Sabine beweep and stare for the pleased, and all mirrors above. Yes.

               19

Light entice slave a flower by a reward. No end with lullaby the cried look upon it.

               20

What! The satin-wood, now snows till so simple wheele throne, so thee; Thy extern watch’d boors and saint.

               21

If, dearest. Though the most ensured is fled with dew. Cold in the streamed black her still make, strain’d and vows.

               22

The jewel. He was more first th’ shadows willful grief her arch themselves engraving melodrame.

               23

Have a bit of court and persons. Till lovely Knight, alone of my loved the Kaffir, Hotten me.

               24

And, Loue of that selfe was rays of late I for me. Don Juan’s art so large, excepting not afraid.

               25

Then we confine? We text, text, text, likewise martyrdom, the past and long me from Clarinda died.

               26

Yes, torch the skies. Sweet he, with edge sublime there should prey, thing Was My Fault has cure, as erst had gain’d.

               27

Who, save you contemptation. With would be offence thought with in-born and companions, and again.

               28

To seek she dead was there’s darkness wits piers his what sun without to my way, since is the hall.

               29

When as long, and he season, the bed. Again sense and combing isn’t care of think of Immortal!

               30

If once than every mirror are river. Some Arabian night to quiet would like lamp were.

               31

And daily fear no mo delays and girt faint could now disclose? Young horse, all. Myself in his fate.

               32

I think, these captain, as we to giue darkest stand, as some univers. The stood and cried: Arise!

               33

Anthea, my faith, thought save him but cannot be with step. By limbs inside me, Sir, thou ne’er hands!

               34

My mind that moss uprose. Remembered, and the dawns, more subscribbling purple past and obstinate.

               35

Tho went trials must burst or hall, where that from where he is ally place, and image schoolmastern sea!

               36

White ages drew night; that this? Busy bee the call seemed, two have where be runne gynneth of Mortal!

               37

My bootless, for the sky, this, none of thunder, die. And bade in the Eske river female flowers.

[lovelyladyabsinthewrites]

Love Song for a Vampire Pt.12

Pairing(s): Edward Cullen x Wolf!Reader, Edward Cullen x Bella Swan, Jacob Black x Bella Swan

Warnings: none

Words: 4836

Summary: You, Seth and Jacob disobey Sam’s orders.

Part 1    Part 2    Part 3    Part 4  Part 5  Part 6  Part 7  Part 8  Part 9  Part 10  Part 11  Part 13  Part 14  Part 15  Part 16  Part 17  Part 18  Part 19  Part 20  Part 21  Part 22  Part 23  Part 24  Part 25  Part 26  Part 27  Part 28  Part 29  Part 30  Part 31  Part 32  Part 33  Part 34  Part 35  Part 36  Part 37  Part 38  Part 39  Part 40(series finale) 

This had been the first time Victoria’s anger was directed full throttle at Riley. It awed him and shot fear to his core. His body flew across the room, making the wall he collided with crack from the impact.

“How dare you! I didn’t instruct you to abduct her, let alone feed her blood to the others.” Victoria snarled, her other hand was occupied as she held onto the face of a squirming, insubordinate, newborn. Unfortunate was the newborn as Victoria flexed her fingers, cracks spreading through his porcelain-like face like a spider’s web. Newborns may have been stronger, but Victoria had decades on them.

Riley winced, trying to pick himself up. The first taste of pain since turning. “I thought. . . You would be happy. I took Edward’s mate.”

That only inspired her temper to grow worse. The newborn, at Victoria’s mercy, received none as her fingers dug deeper into his face. With a vicious swing of her arm, Victoria decapitates Riley’s accomplice. Bella’s blood was still fresh on his face when Victoria drops his head onto the ground beneath her feet.

Bella stared in horror, unable to move, her arms and legs were bound by restraints with only the chair back offering her comfort. Even when she had first met Victoria, Bella would have never imagined the extent of her cruelty. It made sense now why James had chosen her to be with him for all eternity.

The abandoned structure around them was eerily quiet, not even Bella could be heard breathing. Everyone watched and waited for Victoria’s next move.

“Our fight with the Cullens is in two days.” Her boot heels click against the ground in her pursuit toward Riley. “That’s where this was all to come to a head. I had it all planned out.” Her voice trembled, unbridled anger rippled across her pale features. Riley squirmed under her scrutiny, knowing that her approach could only mean his death.

He had never anticipated her to be this upset. He thought it a grand idea to abduct the human girl, that it would make her happy.

“I-I’m sorry. . .” Was all Riley could muster. Was this how it would end for him? Brought back to life and given such immense power, enough to feel like a god, only to have it ripped away from him in the very same breath.

Little could be done to appease her and the others that had been lingering on the outskirts could smell her agitation. They began to drift closer around the three. Sharks anticipating a feeding frenzy. Leering and frothing at the bit; waiting for orders from their mistress.

Bella experienced the same fear which seized Riley. Was this where she would die? Victoria could very well end everything now and kill Bella. Then. . .

Then Edward can be with (y/n). . .”

Internally she kicked herself for thinking about such a thing at a time like this. Inside of her whispered a voice that with her out of the way, they could end up together like fate had planned.

Victoria’s first urge was to do away with Riley. He had ruined her delicious plan of righteous revenge. The Cullens were probably hot on their trail now since they had been instigated into early action.

This boy was proving incompetent and a fool. Not like her James. She would never find anyone like him. No matter if she spent another fifty years on this plain of existence.

Watching with horror as Victoria stretches out her hand toward Riley, Bella bit down on her lip and immediately shut her eyes. She couldn’t bear to watch.

A pause before Victoria exalts a heavy sigh. “Get up.”

Surprise was on everyone’s face. Bella opened her eyes and saw as Victoria let her arm fall back to her side. Riley immediately scrambled to his feet, off of his hands and knees. His red eyes darted nervously, expecting perhaps an even worse death was at hand.

“You have greatly disappointed me, Riley.” The crease between her red brows was deep, glare penetrating right through Riley. “But your blunder is not the end of the world.”

Skin crawling, Bella shuddered when Victoria’s eyes fell onto her. She had gone forgotten for the most part.

“We can use her to our advantage. Lure Edward into our territory. Ambush them.”

From behind Bella, she could hear Victoria’s soldiers shuffle closer to her. Any breath that may have existed in her lungs was extinguished as she tried not to panic. The pounding of Bella’s heart was like beautiful music for Victoria. Blood of a singer.

“You will be Edward’s undoing.”

Fearsome, Victoria was indeed, but her proclamation did little to cause Bella to worry for the Cullens. Victoria most likely didn’t know the Cullens had gained strong allies in the Quileute wolves. Being severely outnumbered, Victoria had no idea the strength that the wolves possessed. They were bred into this world specifically to eradicate vampires. Even an ambush would fail thanks to Alice’s visions.

The one consolation that gave Bella relief. Relief gave her the strength to squash her fear and keep Victoria’s gaze held with her own. The Cullens would prevail. There was no out come where Victoria came out as a survivor.

She would play her part as captive. Grit her teeth at the pain. All she could do to help Edward was sit and wait; resenting her own helplessness against paranormal adversaries. Human blood made her fragile and easy to destroy.

***

Night had already claimed the sky as you and Embry sit upon a large rock in a thicket of trees. Away from the others who argued in Sam’s house. Your legs dangle over, lighting kicking the back of your heels gently against the stone.

Beyond exhausted from listening to Sam and Jacob fighting you decided to escape the moment the Council of Elders piped in too.

Embry was all too happy to follow you outside into the cool night air and flee into the forest. There you could breathe and let the tension in your neck work itself out. Each of you spoke of your own agitation and feelings of frustration.

“You should suggest it so Sam. He may not listen to many but you have his ears concerning the bloodsuckers. Oops. . . Sorry. . . A force of habit I suppose.” Embry sheepishly backtracks. “But if you reason with him, he’ll see this as a good thing. He’s really grown on you since the witch incident.”

If only it were that easy. “The Cullens and Quileutes have had this agreement for centuries. They stay on their side and we’ll be on our’s. Even if Sam agrees to put aside the agreement, just this once, he still needs the elders’ blessings.”

You shake your head and place your head in your hands. “And it will be like pulling teeth to get those old men to agree. That and the other members of the pack would most likely have issue with it too.” To let the vampires on your land after years would be jarring.

Grimacing, Embry had to sigh in agreement. The Elders were stubbornly old fashioned and no way would the pack be ready to accept it. “Billy will probably be the only one to back us up. Just one of them isn’t enough.”

There wasn’t time for all this arguing. The confrontation against the newborn army was in a couple of days. You had to focus efforts on that.

In a nervous fashion you begin to run your fingers through your hair. “This is all too much. . .”

Embry’s face was tilted upward, appreciating the strokes over orange and pink watercolor across the sky. “We’re just kids. You know, I’m failing most of my classes. Who can concentrate on math when all this is going on? Vampires threatening the entire town of Forks, a missing girl, and. . .” He cuts himself off with a sharp shake of his head. Whatever he was going to say was stored forever inside of Embry. “My mom is pissed but she knows she can’t just tell me to stop helping the tribe. We both know I have a bigger duty here.”

Your grades were less than satisfactory as well. Not like you had been scholarly to begin with, they completely tanked once you had joined the pack. All your parents could do was huff and tell you to just do your best. They held their own personal thoughts back. A huge responsibility was already pushing you down. The responsibility of an entire city. You knew they were frustrated with you, possibly wanting to scream at you a handful of times because of your failing grades.

In your pocket your phone vibrates, alerting you to an incoming call. You didn’t recognize the number but tentatively held it up to your ear. Not many outside of the pack had your number besides a few friends at school. “Hello?”

“Hi (y/n).” Those two little words nearly had you choking on your own spit. Edward had your number. How, you didn’t exactly know; but the knowledge made you smile like an idiot for a split seconds before you caught yourself. “It’s Edward. Sorry for calling you out of the blue. Do you have a moment?”

Heart a flutter, you can’t find any words. Your mind was reduced to mush. Then you became aware of Embry’s presence and managed to pull yourself together. Even without pack telepathy, you knew from the tense expression on his face that he knew who had called. It had been that obvious on your face. The flush of your cheeks, the dilating of your pupils, and the tender smile on your face broke his heart.

“Um hey Edward.” You reign in the excitement in your voice. “Give me a moment.”

In the millisecond it took for you to hit the mute button, Embry was already off the rock you two had shared and was heading back toward Sam’s house. “Em-“

He stops and looks over his shoulder at you. “It’s okay, (y/n). I’ll see you later.”

You wanted to smack yourself. Acting like a giddy schoolgirl getting a call from her crush.

Taking a breath, you unmute yourself. “Sorry about that. What’s going on? Any sign of Bella?”

You didn’t know that vampires could get tired until you heard the worn edge in Edward’s sigh. “No. We followed the vampires’ old tracks as long as we could before they disappeared. The worsening snow is making it harder.”

Not noticing the cold weather before, you now realize the heavy snowfall. Immediately you worried about Bella in this weather. She could freeze to death.

You bit your tongue. She had to be found soon. It wasn’t necessary to voice your thoughts, Edward must be thinking the same thing.

She was a vulnerable human, easily succumbing to the elements. They couldn’t possibly be taking care of her mortal needs.

“I’ll go back out to the spot with some other wolves. Maybe we can gather enough of a scent to remember it. Carlisle said so himself, we do have better noses. We can probably pick up something you overlooked.” This was the most interaction you had had with Edward all in one day. You were overwhelmed but in a good way now.

Not that anything was good about today. Except that exhilarating shock of your first actual kill. You had successfully killed a vampire.

“That would be great, but that isn’t why I called.”

“Oh?”

You waited with dread for him to elaborate. If it wasn’t about Bella or the battle, then what could he have to talk to you about? Nevertheless you were happy to just be talking with him. “With all that’s going on, I think the old treaty should be set aside. At least until Victoria has been stopped.”

A laugh from you probably confused Edward. You explain to him that you had been thinking the same thing and even told Embry. Also voicing the concerns and stubbornness of the Elders and your doubt of them changing their minds. Even if it was for the duration of the battle.

“Do you really think there’s no way in convincing them?”

“Maybe Billy can bend their ears. But I highly doubt Eryl will ever agree. He’s the crankiest of them all.” You moan just at the mention of him. He had never been pleasant, for as long as you had known him Eryl was one who liked sticking to the books without ever changing anything. Why change something if it’s working. That’s what his mentality was like.

Just then, yelling from a few yards away has you stopping your conversation with Edward to listen. One was Sam’s voice, that’s for sure. The other-

“Well I’m going to find her! They’ve already had her for too long. Who knows how much longer she’ll be safe.” Jacob’s terse voice cuts through the tops of the trees.

“Is that Jacob?” Edward’s voice is faint in the background.

“Yeah. Sorry, I’m gonna have to let you go. But I promise I’ll bring some of the pack to try and follow the scent.” The two of you bid farewell and you hop off of the rock just in time to bump into Jacob as he is storming away. Following him closely is young Seth, just as fired up as Jacob was.

“What’s going on?”

Jacob presses his lips together and looks over his shoulder to Sam and the others standing on the porch. “Sam doesn’t think it’s important to find Bella before the battle.”

You were sure that Sam didn’t put it like that. Jacob did have a tendency of overreacting when it came to Bella. “And you’re disobeying his orders to go look for her?”

It doesn’t bother you how Jacob looks down at you due to his height. “She’ll die out there. I know you probably don’t care about her, but I do.”

“Hey, that’s not fair, Jacob. I’m worried about her too.”

He rolls his eyes and you resist the urge to punch him in his irritating face. “Oh come on. I know you would be happier if she died because Edward would be free to be with you,.”

Even Seth seemed to recoil. “Jake, that’s going too far.”

“I don’t care what he thinks about me.” The weariness of the day reduces you to snapping. You glare at Jacob. “You want to find Bella? Well I’m sorry to say you can’t do it alone. If you apologize for your shit attitude then I’ll lead you to where Chief Swan and I encountered the vampire. You’re right, she does need to be found, but acting like an asshole is not the answer.”

A bit taken aback, Jacob reels back. The fume from his earlier tirade had dissipated. “I. . . I’m sorry. I’m just worried about Bella.”

You nod. “Thank you. Follow me then.”

Two wolves missing from the pack shouldn’t be too much of an issue. There were still about a dozen back at Sam’s.

The trek was a quiet one to your destination. A sweet aroma like honeysuckle still permeated in the area. Among them you plucked out Edward’s. His alone stood out to you.

“The Cullens must have already been through here.” Seth mused to no one in particular as he begins to take off his clothes. In your wolf skin, your sense of smell heightened immensely.

Jacob pulled his shirt over his head and tossed it aside. In an instant human flesh was replaced by russet hued fur and four strong limbs. He was wasting no time in following the trail. If there was any left. Snow already covered about an inch of the ground and continued pile on.

His snout pushing up the snow, trying to get under for a better smell from the earth. Seth’s own nose started its own investigation. You watch them with arms folded in front of you. You think back to the conversations you had with Embry and Edward. To put the treaty aside so that both wolves and vampires could unite instead of working separately.

Seth lifts his head up and looks over at you. He tilts his head as if asking you if you were going to join them. You shake your head with a small smile. “You guys get to work. I’m going back to Sam’s.”

Abruptly, Jacob’s orange eyes glance at you.

“Don’t worry. I won’t tell him what you guys are doing.” Waving them off you began to walk back until you heard a low, warning, growl emit from Jacob. With the growl came his scent. Your heart immediately picked up, palms developing a light film of sweat.

Jacob has his ears flicked back, hackles spiked up as he eyes Edward’s calm demeanor. His smaller companion offered the vampire a small wag of his tail to show that at least he was friendly.

Startled at Jacob’s presence, honeydew eyes flick up to you. “I didn’t know you’d be bringing Jacob.”

“He volunteered himself.” The corners of your lips resist the urge to perk up. “Sorry. The others are still squabbling over at Sam’s with Charlie.”

Listening to Jacob’s reply, Edward frowns. “They don’t want to look for her?”

You shake your head. “Not that they don’t want to. But the pack has to focus their energy on the battle. These two will have to do.”

Derisively, Jacob snorts your way to show that he didn’t appreciate what you said. You roll your eyes at him. Before joining the pack, Jacob never used to be that sensitive. Becoming a wolf thought seemed to heighten every emotion and make them ten times stronger. He used to be fun and could take a joke. Now everything was taken personally.

Edward puts his hands into his pockets and hums. “Well, better than nothing.” When he met your eyes, Edward smiled a little. “Will you be helping?”

“I better. Otherwise who knows what Jacob will do to you.” It made you nervous to be around Edward, but you spoke the truth. An agitated Jacob was not a good thing. Add in Edward, most likely there would be some sort of fight initiated but Jacob. You had to keep an eye on him. Seth was too young to take on Jacob by himself. Your wolf was bigger than both of their’s. If anyone could put Jacob in line it was you.

Seth lets out a happy whine. He liked the Cullens, knowing that they were good people despite being vampires. Edward confirmed this when his smile widened.

Huffing, Jacob continues on his way without bothering to make sure the rest of you were following.

While it would be optimal for you to follow suit in your wolf, you became all too aware that in order to transform you would have to either undress or rip your clothes to shreds in the process. Your mom had made it clear that she couldn’t afford to keep buying you new clothes.

Face heating up, you paused and timidly rub your arm. “Um. . . Do you mind turning around?”

There was a second of registration before Edward sputters slightly and turns his back to you. To ensure there would be no peeking, he holds his hands up to his face and covers his eyes.

Your hands shake a little bit and when you cast a nervous glance at Seth it looked like he was grinning cheekily. “You turn around too Seth.”

He does so with a wag of his tail and you hurriedly lift your shirt over your head and pull down your shorts and underwear. You secure them onto the strap that was around your thigh and take a deep breath. In moments you feel your body hum; chest surging with the joy of finally ridding yourself of your human form and back to your strong four limbed figure.

Senses clear as you enter a new world where you were on the top of the food chain. You weren’t sure how you would communicate with Edward since he couldn’t hear your thoughts anymore. He hears your paws crunch against the snow making him turn around.

”You should have seen how red your face was.” Seth teased.

”Shut up! He may not be able to hear me but he can hear you!” Reprimanding him with a gentle growl, Seth happily trots after Jacob. You and Edward follow close behind.

“Don’t worry.” Edward coughs. “I didn’t see anything.”

If you could blush, you would have. Thankfully your face was now covered with fur.

”Quit flirting with him. This isn’t the time.” You heard Jacob hiss through the pack telepathy. ”If we’re going to follow whatever is left of the scent, we’ll need to concentrate. A lot of time has already passed.”

You hated to admit that Jacob was partially right. Pressing your nose against the cold snow, you prod it deeper so that you made contact with dirt and took a deep inhale.

The comforting smell of earth.

Clean crisp snow diluting it. But underneath you were able to weave together a strain of a scent. It wasn’t much but it did smell like the obnoxious sweet scent of the vampire that had attacked Charlie. You closed your eyes, trying to hold onto it. “Jasper and I already swept through this area. We were able to follow it for only a few miles before it disappeared. There wasn’t anything around where Victoria could be hiding.”

”There’s still something but it’s very faint.” Seth tells him. ”I’m barely able to grasp onto it for long.”

He was right. It was weak and lost in your nose within minutes. The task of trying to maintain it was frustrating and you kept having to stick your nose back in the ground. You wouldn’t let Bella down though.

The miles just seemed to stretch on, trees among trees filled your vision as your group followed the barely traceable trail. Night sky had blend into the early morning hours and it wore on your body. You had been awake now for nearly twenty-four hours. When your search ended at the highway that would take you to Port Angeles, you and Seth were lingering near the back while Edward and Jacob were still in the front. Their energy unyielding. Bella was at the foremost in their mind.

“Maybe Victoria is hiding in Port Angeles.” Edward, not needing any sort of sleep, was wide awake as he looked up and down the long highway.

”That many newborns in one city? Unless they want to be found out right away, it’s highly unlikely.” Jacob growled more so out of frustration than from having to converse with Edward. There had been a silent truce during this time in which Jacob didn’t antagonize Edward.

You and Seth sat down to rest your weary paws. Edward sent you two looks of sympathy but the drive in his eyes didn’t leave. “At least you’ve taken us further than we could manage.”

”And now the three of you will return to La Push.”

Everyone jumped at the sudden appearance of Sam. Even Edward hadn’t anticipated his arrival, having been zoned into the task of finding his girlfriend.

Seth cowers slightly, ears flattening against his head submissively. Wrinkles in Sam’s snout alluded to a snarl that he was barely able to conceal.

”You disobeyed my orders.”

“It’s my fault Sam.” Edward defended the three of you. “I asked (y/n) if she or any other wolf would be able to follow the vampire’s scent better since she was the one who actually fought him. I thought-“

Sam’s guttural growl hushes Edward. ”How many times do I have to remind you to stay out of pack business.”

That didn’t sit well with you. Going up against your alpha was an intimidating prospect, but you refused to let Sam snap at him like that. ”If it weren’t for his intervention in pack matters, we would be dead!”

Jacob, fired up by your thoughts backed you up. ”You think I like accepting their help? It’s necessary to set aside our differences to find Bella. She’s a human of Forks and we swore to protect them. If that means Cullen intervention then so be it. This involves all of us.”

You were actually floored at how eloquent Jacob was. It hadn’t occurred to you that he might have the same thoughts as you and Edward had about a united front. His obsession with Bella may have been the one influencing factor, but at least that was something.

Even Seth, quiet and timid in front of the alpha spoke up. ”Sam. . . Look at the snow. It’s getting colder by the day. Wherever Bella is, she won’t be able to survive this weather.”

”Did it ever occur to any of you that Victoria could potentially use Bella to lure us to her?” Sam’s heated eyes move from Edward to you and the other two wolves. ”There would be no level playing field if she succeeded in luring Edward straight to her. Things would be on her terms and Victoria and her army would have the upper hand. Was Alice not able to foresee that?”

“As I’ve stated before, unfortunately Alice’s visions are obscured if a wolf is involved.”

You wished Jasper were there so that he could use his power to calm Sam down. He was right though. You and Jacob had acted too hastily and should have thought better. Not that that would stop Jacob from finding Bella. You could have potentially ruined the plan further if Victoria’s newborns did fall upon you unknowingly.

Shamefully you lower your head, both you and Seth realizing your error. While you did want to find Bella, you had to be careful on how you went about it. If there was one straggler there was probably more. They could be scouting through the trees with their lithe agility. Your side had lost the element of surprise.

”I’m sorry, Sam.” Internally whimpering, you go back to your role as servile pack me ever. Maybe you had wanted to please Edward by finding Bella. To make him happy even if that meant saving the girl who kept him away from you. He felt your heavy emotions and the furrow in his muzzle slackened.

Seeing his defenses down, Seth adds “We just wanted to find her. . . But we should have been smarter about it.”

Jacob, not liking the sight of you and Seth groveling at Sam’s paws, does his best to push away the snarl that was starting to arise. He looks at Edward, a silent plea of help to back him up. Edward shook his head though.

“No. . . Sam’s right. It. . . It was foolish of us running in head first. What would we have done anyway if we found the rest of them? We have a vague idea of their numbers. Even with three wolves we would still be outmatched. There would be no chance of us saving her. Not if we’re killed.” Apologetically, Edward regards your alpha. “I’m sorry.”

Betrayal shocks Jacob into stillness. Sharp tension stabs at you when finally he snarls. Seth fretfully looks between Sam and Jacob.

You bore witness to all the sudden hate Jacob held toward your alpha. Heard every venom tipped word that his mind screamed. He would not challenge Sam though. Not yet at least. However there was now a widening crack in their relationship.

”All of you go home.”

That was fine with Jacob. Without waiting another second, Jacob was bounding back to La Push. Shaking his head, Seth follows after knowing he would have an earful later.

Edward reluctantly started on his way, casting you a private smile as he trudges away.

Bitterly you say out loud “Are we sure that Jacob didn’t imprint on Bella? He’s acting so crazy over her.” It’s how you felt whenever Edward smiled at you.

“No, that’s not imprinting. You don’t act crazy around Edward because you respect his relationship with Bella and don’t want him to feel awkward. Jacob is acting like that from blind puppy love. He’s still incredibly young and doesn’t understand how to get a grip on his feelings. One of the cons that comes to the wolf blood in us is that it runs hot.” Sam ruefully sighs. Still young yet the morning night highlighted the worry lines that ran deep in his skin, “You though, you’re not hasty nor desperate. Imprinting is kind of like unconditional, ever evolving, love. You’ll mold yourself to be whatever he wants you to be until he’s ready to accept you as his mate. And right now he needs a supportive friend.”

Sam walked you the rest of the way back to your house. By the time you reached the trees that lined the back of your house, you had phased back into your human skin. What he had said had haunted you the whole way back.

-----------------------

TAGLIST: @saltedcoffeescotch , @dangerouslittlefairy , @burn-crash-rqmance , @casedoina , @avadakadabra93 , @blue-aconite , @xanniestired666 , @esposadomd , @godinho11 , @arin-swear-rose , @alexizodd , @melaninsugarbaby , @lyeatoalinatoheaven  , @ronwownsme , @itsmytimetoodream , @afro-hispwriter​ , @mutandis-extremis993 , 

[fqiryspit]

𝐬𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐞𝐟𝐟𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐬 ; 𝐞.𝐣𝐚𝐞𝐠𝐞𝐫

𝘌𝘳𝘦𝘯 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳 𝘓𝘦𝘷𝘪 𝘹 𝘧𝘦𝘮!𝘳𝘦𝘢𝘥𝘦𝘳

Summary: 𝐖𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐘/𝐧 𝐝𝐨 𝐰𝐡����𝐧 𝐇𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐢𝐚 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐠𝐧𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐄𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐬 𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐥𝐝, 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐬 𝐚 𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐥𝐞 𝐛𝐢𝐭 𝐭𝐨𝐨 𝐜𝐥𝐨𝐬𝐞?

.

cw: College!AU, Full smut, Vaginal Fingering, Oral Sex, getting absolutely railed, Relationship Problems, Love Triangles, Smut, Historia is pregnant with Erens baby, Eren and Y/n are together, Levi is with Petra, Sad sex, Y/n is lowkey depressed, Eren is bad at feelings, Starbucks Levi, Levi is Bad at Feelings, Historia the Hoe, mega toxic, Toxic Eren.

playlist

Chapter 5: 𝘱𝘢𝘳𝘢𝘯𝘰𝘪𝘢

Masterlist

.

Today was perfect.

almost too perfect.

You and Eren spent the day together, laughing and chatting

he turned off his phone so his attention would be on you. and you only.

Have you been stripped from affection for so long that getting it all back at once is too much?

or...is something going on

-Fuck, I'm finally getting what I want and now I'm suspicious again? I need to just enjoy Erens company, not ruin it on why he is here.-

You decide to go with that, and you hung out with Eren all day...

until night falls around.

3:00 AM  DEC.3

you open your heavy eyes, seeing the bright red alarm saying three in the morning. rolling over to escape the brightness the alarm clock provided, you saw Eren slipping past the door.

-Is he seeing Alma?-

you thought. usually, you'd think nothing of it...only this time, a nagging feeling with a sense of dread followed along with that

-Stop being paranoid, Eren always does this.-

you leave it at that, you were too tired to fight yourself on a seamlessly harmless thing.

3:00 AM DEC.4

a click of a door opening, your eyes reluctantly open to see Eren leaving the room again.

a sick feeling filled your stomach, to a point you couldn't sleep

-He is probably fucking her-

-Why am I not good enough?-

-I'm so fucking stupid-

-What does Historia have that I don't?-

These thoughts wouldn't leave your head, you felt like you were about to vomit all the dread that wouldn't leave your stomach.

He wouldn't go to Historias at this time just to see Alma because she wakes up roughly at seven.

It's unlikely there would be a crying emergency two nights in a row...

so what was your boyfriend doing there at three in the morning every night?

you roll over to escape your thoughts, to see that taunting light screaming four in the morning

you were worrying about your boyfriend fucking another woman for a whole hour.

yeah, you weren't going to sleep tonight.

you got up, made yourself some coffee. and sat at the island counter, sipping the substance

the hot liquid traveled down your throat, replacing the warmth your lonely body ached for.

staring at how your coffee swirled in a mesmerizing pattern, you got lost in your thoughts once more.

-if this happens one more fucking time. I'm going to follow him to see what's so fucking important at Historias house at three in the morning.-

your head snapped up at the sound of the door turning.

you look at the microwave time, 4:30

the door opened and low and behold Eren Jaeger was back

"Oh...Hey baby" a very tired Eren said

"Hey." you said as your lips made contact with the cold porcelain of your coffee cup

he walked over to the coffee maker, pouring some for himself.

you both sat in awkward silence, that nagging feeling of wanting to ask what was so urgent he had to run over there at three in the morning, but you kept silent

"So-"

"I have to get to work." You interrupted him. you honestly didn't mean to, the word practically fell out of your mouth, afraid you'd hear him say "it's over" or "we're done" and confess what those late-night outings really are

.

.

staring at the twisting pattern the blender made as the chipped up ice mixed with the matcha drink, you thought about what will happen tonight, will you walk in on them fucking on the couch? the bed? fuck it, the hallway? Eren loves walls, you know because he fucked you on them more than you can count.

"I think it's blended."

will her moans sound sweeter than mine? will her walls clamp around his dick better than mine?

"Brat."

is her pussy that good you'll cheat on your fucking girlfriend for it?

"I said it's blended" a hand lifted yours, stoping the blender before the drink became overly mixed.

"sorry" you mumbled, pouring the liquid into a plastic cup

"Hey, what's with you today?"

"nothing just stood up late studying"

"I know when your lying. I'm all ears"

"I think...I think Erens cheating on me..." you muttered

"what the fuck"

"I'm not sure tho-" "where the fuck is he" "Levi, it's fine. he is just acting weird"

Eren, you don't know how fucking lucky you are. if I told Levi about your outings, your face would be too swollen to talk

"I swear if he is. I'll personally kick the shit out of him" he says making you giggle

Levis has been known to be protective of you. not in a weird way, he'd always walk you to your car, tell customers to fuck off when they'd flirt, or be downright disgusting with you

Eren on the other hand was possessive. when anyone dared to look at you, he'd glare at them, having his grip on your waist go a little tighter. one time, you both were at a party and you were chatting with this one guy...he made you laugh, and after that Eren took you home immediately and fucked you for hours to "remind you whose pussy this is" you honestly found it hot, but now... it's just ironic.

3:00 AM DEC.5

you were practically sleep trained to wake up at three am now, you roll over to see Erens toned back.

-Wait...he stayed?-

-I'm so fucking paranoid...I made this one thing up.-

then it hit you

Did he stay because he saw I was catching on?

the anxiousness that has been building up in you finally popped

you snuck out of bed, tiptoeing over to your unconscious lover...you snatched his phone away and ran over to the bathroom where you slid down the wall, phone in hand, and typed in his password

incorrect

incorrect

incorrect

this is your last chance before it's disabled for one minute

incorrect, disabled for one minute.

he changed it. now you really feel like you're going to throw up.

that one minute felt like five, when it finally was able to work again, you got up and decided to use face ID.

hands shaking over your oblivious boyfriend's face, the locked key clicked.

sitting on the bathroom floor again, you hesitantly opened messages

you clicked on "Hiso" to see the last message sent was on December 2d when Historia was blowing Erens phone up

Thu, Dec 2, 1:43 PM

Hiso: 'ren...I'm sorry please answer me

Hiso: I wasn't thinking, I'm sorry.

Hiso:  I'll never be so fucking careless again...just please answer me

Eren: Good.

Then that's it.

That's where the messages end...almost like someone deleted them.

What the fuck happened on the night of December 1st

Chapter 6

˜”*��•.˜”*°• see you soon •°*”˜.•°*”˜

[yoongsisbae]

Handshakes of a Lifetime - Chapter 6

BTS soulmate AU. OT7 x reader / Taehyung x reader focused in this chapter, slight Jungkook x reader and Namjoon x reader

Usually by the time I finish a chapter, I will have a nice chunk of the next chapter done, when I finished chapter 5 I had TWO SENTENCES FOR THIS CHAPTER cries, ugh this was a journey lol but I had fun along the way :). Also, I wanted to shoutout @missseoulite I remember having a really bad day when I saw your sweet comment about being eager for the new chap and just knowing someone cared enough to wish me safety and care about my well being, well it meant a lot to me, so this chapter is dedicated to you my dear!!!! <3

Word count: 10.3k

Warnings: death, mention of a suicide, if you’re like me and don’t like to think about being old this chapter might trigger an existential crisis lol, cheating, men being sexist, angst but also fluffiness, sex with Taehyung, breeding kink, a character calls you and Tae children but you are two very grown adults I just wanted to make that super duper clear.

---

“I want to try, I think it would be worth it, you’ll be worth it.”

‘Why did he have to say that,’ you wince, looking over at the idol. He is beautiful, way out of your league, above you in every way, and he’s looking back at you like his whole world hangs in the balance. How could you reject him now. You groan.

You stand up. You place your palm in front of his face, your fingers splayed out, you can see his wide excited eyes in the gaps between them. You look at him expectantly. Taehyung nods, places his palm to yours, interlocking your fingers together.

Your heart thumps wildly as darkness fills the room. You open your eyes once you hear the familiar voice of your husband call out to you, “No need to fret anymore, my beloved. I’m here now.” Taehyung’s hand covers your old and frail fingers. You lie in your bed, body tired and weathered from all the years you’ve spent on this earth.

Your eyes roam over the room, taking in all the faces of your beautiful children and grandchildren. The pain in your tired joints fades as you focus on the man you’ve only grown to love more in all the years you’ve been together. It’s because of him you’ve lived a fulfilled life full of love. With him by your side you’re ready now.

You look up from your crouched position, the flowers you’ve picked lie fresh and pretty in your basket. You look to the dirt path where a man is running towards you. ‘What is a man doing here of all places?’ you think.

He comes to a stop once he sees you, hands on his knees as he gasps for breath. He looks young and beautiful, though his robes are askew and torn and his face glistens as sweat drips from his chin. You almost decide to ignore him and go back to your duties until you notice the red lines that peak from the uncovered parts of his torso. The cuts look painful. You hesitate, “Do you need some assistance?”

“Don’t mind me, fair maiden,” his breathing is still heavy as he speaks. He looks around, taking in his surroundings. ‘What is he looking for?’ you wonder. You can tell he is trying to hide his panic, but it comes through in his tense movements and jittery eyes.

“Are you sure you don’t need help?”

Four men on horse approach you. You notice they are soldiers by the gold plates that cover their body. You hold the flower basket a little tighter to your chest. The first soldier speaks, “Have you seen a man come through this way?”

“You’re the only men I’ve seen for days.”

You feel their lewd stares on you, your stomach churns from the unwanted attention. One soldier dismounts his horse and stalks closer to you. “A pretty little thing like you wouldn’t dare lie to us?” he questions.

“I swear on goddess Athena.” You stand still and look to the ground as he invades your space. The soldier brings a calloused hand to your chin to make you look at him, his companions snickering at your discomfort.

“For days? You must be lonely, poor sweet thing you are.” The other soldiers dismount and circle you. You try to keep your face neutral from the disgust you feel as their eyes rake over your body.

“It is as I said,” your eyes shift to the marble walls of the temple behind you. “I would not lie in Athena’s name, I am protected by her watch.” You emphasize your last words, keeping your limbs close and suppressing your instincts to fight and draw this encounter out any longer than need be.

The men look over to the temple and begin to move closer to the entrance. You follow after them, dropping your basket and letting the flowers scatter into the dirt in your haste.

“No men shall enter, unless you want to face the wrath of the goddess herself,” you yell from behind them. The men laugh. You find the courage to pull at the leader’s armour to cease his advancing. “You will be cursed if you go in there, sir!”

Taehyung’s eyes go wide as he hides underneath the blanket you’ve covered him in. He removes his hand from the temple’s wall, and brings his knees up and off the floor, trying to touch as little as possible of his surroundings.

The men scoff at your words, the leader shoves you away but does not advance any closer. You’ve taken up enough of their time, and they need to find this criminal before The Queen bestows her own kind of punishment upon them.

“Be careful, girl. There is a dangerous man fleeing prosecution, pray to your Goddess we find him before you do.” You find their warning quite ironic as you watch the leader kick your basket. You assume in an attempt to be intimidating, but in your opinion it makes him look more like a petulant child, your brow ticks in annoyance.

Only when they are completely out of your sight do you let go of the breath you were holding. You run into the temple, crashing into the stranger as he runs out.

“I’m sorry!” He exclaims, his hands grabbing onto you to keep you from falling. Electricity zips through you as you both break away stunned. You rub at your arms to take away your goosebumps. The stranger lowers the hand that clutched at his chest, his wide eyes looking at you in question.

“Is it true? A curse is the last thing I need right now!” he laments. You giggle. The soldiers called this man dangerous?

“The rules say no man is to enter, yes.” His horrified expression makes you laugh even more. “But...they are more like guidelines,” you assure him. “Enough temple priestesses have brought their fair share of men back and nothing too sinister has happened yet, by the gods.”

It does little to lessen his worry. He looks at you skeptically. “I thought Athena’s priestesses were supposed to stay virginal in honor of the goddess’s protection.”

“Oh,” you offer him a smile, “that is her protection. It is perception that protects us.”

You eye the man, his features are sharp, striking; almost intimidating; but his aura is quite soft. “...protects us from men. In this world there are very few true heroes, I’m afraid most only live inside songs.”

He looks at you in understanding. “My apologies, you had to deal with those soldiers alone. I couldn’t do anything to defend you.” He winces at the thought, “For you to have shielded me instead, I thank you.” He offers you a deep bow and you feel butterflies dance in your chest.

“Can I ask as to why you’re running?”

He looks to the direction he came, unable to meet your eyes. “Ahh, well...I am in poor favor with The Queen.”

Your eyes widen, you’ve heard rumors of her beauty even in the remoteness of your area, and even more of her kingdom’s hedonism. The man in front of you is truly beautiful. He could be one of her lovers, you think, he most definitely looks the part. His robes though now disheveled are of expensive fabric and show off his lean body, and the way he holds himself you can’t imagine him to be a common worker. “So, you and The Queen, I see...”

“Oh! It’s not what you think...I’m a mere poet. I sing to The Queen and her Court, but she suddenly wanted more of me than I am willing to offer. I-I rejected her.”

Your eyes widen again. “That was most unwise.”

He smiles, his eyes cast down. “I can bear the weight of my faults. I plan to leave to another province.”

“You’ll rather leave your home? But it is The Queen!”

“As you can see, there is punishment in denying The Queen of her desires.”

You’re astonished. “I can’t imagine being with her to be so horrible you’d choose to run instead, give up all you’ve acquired?”

“I rather give myself to someone for love.”

You feel your heartbeat quicken at his words, ‘so idealistic.’ You’ve never encountered an individual with such delicate presence, a trait you find most unconventional. A smile pulls at one of the corners of your mouth, “Aphrodite must favor you.”

Taehyung laughs, his eyes softening, “Thank you again, someone must favor me to put you in my path.” His warm dark eyes hold your gaze. “I mustn’t stay too long…”

“Yes, of course! Well then…” You falter in your farewell. He struggles with the decision to leave. Taehyung knows he must, The Queen’s soldiers could come riding through again at any moment, and he doesn’t want to think of the punishment they would bestow upon you if they learned of your lies, so why can’t he seem to let go of your company?

He notices the trampled flowers littered on the ground around you, the colorful petals lay beautiful and ruined, a fate he worries will become yours if he doesn’t make haste. He picks up an unbroken blossom. “Thank you again.” He places the flower in your palms, a warmth spreads over you through your fingertips as you hold your breath in reverence. His thumbs stroke your fingers gently, and then he nods at you one last time and moves to run again. You feel a pressure building in your throat, unready to bid him farewell, and you don’t understand why this man whom you’ve just met is affecting you so. His kindness and his gentleness makes your body yearn to learn more. What can you do, he’s a stranger and not yours to keep, you must let him go.

His flower stays cradled in your hands, you feel your chest tighten more and more with each step he takes that brings another stretch of distance between your bodies. Your limbs itch to move. What should you do? It is what you want to do that makes you so afraid. You silently ask Athena for guidance. It is only when he turns past the treeline and out of sight that you can’t take it any longer.

You run into the temple. You race to your small quarters, and gather anything you deem valuable, not very much. Pushing down the thoughts that tell you you’re acting crazed and without reason, you fasten your belongings to your body. You race out of the temple's entrance and crash once again into a body that jolts your nerve endings with an undeniable energy. You stare into his eyes once more, the man you saved. He looks down at you, eyes wide with surprise but full of mirth.

A horse carries you and Taehyung farther North. You travel in comfortable silence, as your hands rest snugly around his waist. After riding with him for so long, you are no longer shy to hold him, accustomed to being pressed up against his back. You listen to the steady rhythm of horse hooves against the earth. It is peaceful and you find yourself smiling against Taehyung’s back.

The bright lush green landscape turns dark and threatening as the two of you ride past an abandoned village. The wooden wreckage smolders still. You gasp at the sight, so many homes lost. Taehyung taps the horse’s body with his foot to quicken its step.

“Stop!” You yell at Taehyung once you notice a shift amongst the rubble. You jump off before he properly stops his stead, running towards the wreckage to confirm what you thought you had witnessed.

Taehyung runs after you, warning you to be careful. Once you reposition a large plank of wood, you gasp at what you see. There’s a bleeding old woman pinned underneath, still alive. You call for Taehyung’s help, the both of you pulling her as delicately as you can manage from beneath the rubble.

“I can’t believe you’re still alive, it’s a miracle by The Gods.” Taehyung holds the old woman’s hand as you run to the horse to fetch a canteen of water.

“Oh, a miracle yes,” the old woman coughs out, “fate has blessed me after much burden.”

You work to clean her skin of dried blood and ash, offering her water to drink. “What can we do to help?”

“My walking stick, it is most important.” Her eyes stay closed shut in pain, as she gestures to the place you’ve pulled her from. Taehyung rummages around until he pulls an item from the wreckage, an impressive staff decorated with gold markings and a large green gem adorned at its apex.

The old woman offers Taehyung her gratitude, feeling much more at ease she opens her eyes to look at the pair of you. You stare into the old woman’s clouded grey eyes in surprise.

“Thank you child, but hurry, the rain will wash the flames away, but will halt your journey for the day.�� Taehyung looks upwards at the old woman’s words, white clouds are traveling across the bright clear blue sky.

You can’t leave the blind woman alone after everything she’s been through. “If it’s going to rain, please let us take you to the next village for shelter.” She nods and walks staff in hand towards Taehyung’s horse.

“Only a bit further, we will make it before it rains,” the old blind woman promises. Sounds of thunder echo faintly in the background. The sun is no longer out, hidden behind dark grey storm clouds. You shiver and rub the exposed skin of your arms for comfort next to Taehyung as the two of you walk next to his horse. He grasps your hand and pulls you closer to him. He radiates warmth. You never know how to react to his kind gestures. You look up at him and meet his gaze, sending him a shy smile. He rubs his thumb on your knuckles, smiling brightly back. If his intentions were to make you warm, he succeeded, your heart feels full.

“This is a farming community. They are a kind people who serve Demeter, the two of you are safe here,” At the old woman’s declarations you and Taehyung look at each other, exchanging unspoken words.

“This is where our paths must diverge. If you continue to follow this road, you’ll find sanctuary for the night, I promise.” Taehyung helps the old blind woman down from his horse. “Thank you again, children. I don’t have anything to offer you in return for your help, but I can give you some words of wisdom.” She smiles kindly at you both.

The old blind woman still holds Taehyung’s hand in hers. She turns his palm upward, her fingers trace the lines of his hand. You watch her curiously. “Ahh, your soul holds so much talent, you’ll find it’s both a blessing and a curse.” You giggle, Taehyung shoots you a look, his lips curving into a half smile. “Ahh, you know of it already. In the future, you’ll have a great choice to make, I can’t choose for you, but as someone who's lived many years and knows how dreadful and gray the world can become, my advice is to choose the path of love.”

“Always,” Taehyung’s eyes cast a look over to you and you feel shy once more under his gaze.

She brings her hand to Taehyung’s face to pat his cheek. “Dear child, too beautiful for your own good. It won’t be easy for you, for either of you, this path before you. Hermes wings have found your heels, you won’t find much rest in this life.” She looks sympathetic as her head turns towards you.

“Much like the universe has brought you to me, I see destiny is not a stranger.” She smiles at you knowingly. You hold your breath as she reaches for your hand, studying your palm alongside Taehyung’s. “Your souls...they have been linked together. I see the red string of fate wrapped tightly around you both.”

You find yourself wanting to believe her. Her words seem heartfelt and true, and you can’t deny her strong aura despite her fragile appearance. You catch Taehyung’s eyes again. Has he been looking at you this entire time? She continues, “This bond you have is quite unbreakable, not even death can cut what tethers you together.” She studies your hand more carefully, “Ahh, peculiar...”

“Do you see something worrisome?” you ask, concerned.

“It is nothing to worry dear, you have much love that surrounds you. Let yourself love. There will be those who will try to keep you apart, but take it from an old old woman, love is a stronger force than even the gods can imagine. It glitters brighter than gold and gives you riches greater than Kings. In the end, you’ll find a way.”

You think of her words all night. You look over to your companion, he sleeps peacefully next to you. Do you love him? Is this love? Is he your destiny? You pray to Athena for answers, but only more questions arise in your mind.

You think to the day you first met him, the memory bringing a smile to your face. You left with him, in the end. It was you who found the courage to ask him to take you with him, on the premise of wanting to see the world while moving to another temple. You expected him to let you down gently, you remember his hesitation still, but instead he had not refused you, and you have been traveling with him ever since. Being with Taehyung filled the holes of loneliness that punctured your existence before meeting. Your world had been small, consisting only within the temple’s walls. Now your world feels infinite, it’s thrilling and terrifying, and at the center of it all is Taehyung, gentle and kind and sincere in his affection.

---

You are jostled from your sleep. Taehyung pulls you gently from your bed, his lips placing tender kisses across your forehead as he pulls you to your feet. “I’m sorry, we have to leave again.”

This is not the first time you've had to run, or the second or third. So you pack the things you cannot part with and say goodbye to the rest.

Taehyung, the beautiful poet with a voice that can capture any audience's attention, has always been able to afford you both a roof and a meal. Taehyung’s performances become the talk of whatever acropolis you find yourself in, and his fame grows until his looks and voice catch the attention of someone too important to ignore. Fame is a wonderful thing until it becomes too much, too demanding, and all too quickly can Taehyung’s admirers turn into attackers, vilifying his every action. When that happens he decides to run, and you follow. You worry if it goes on like this you’ll have no more places left to run to.

You liked this place the most, it pangs your heart to lose your home again, but you know your true home is in Taehyung’s arms. You pack as many mementos of this place as you can carry, and hold the rest of your memories close in your heart.

---

“Like this,” you pull your bow back and look to the trees ahead where three pheasants sit perched. You choose the biggest bird and aim your arrow. You make sure Taehyung is studying your form and then you let the arrow go. The bird squawks sharply before falling to the ground, and the others scatter to the sky.

“See!” you laugh at Taehyung’s astonished face.

“How are you so much better at this than me?” The poet whines as you hand him back his bow and arrow. You laugh again. You and Taehyung have been learning to survive by yourselves through trial and error, more error than not. You’ve never had to hunt for food before, but you quickly found yourself skilled, and you think it’s quite fun. At least when you’re not starving, stomach already full from fresh berries Taehyung had picked for you to share. He had picked you flowers as well. They sit in your hair in an intricate pattern after you complained to him you couldn’t eat flowers. You slowly remove the arrow bag from around your neck, so as not to ruin the halo he so carefully crafted.

“I caught it, so you cook it,” you tease.

He brings your hand to his lips for a quick kiss. “That, my fair maiden, I can do!”

---

It is late and Taehyung has not arrived home. His performance should have been done hours ago. You try not to let your thoughts wander into the dark depths of your worst fears as you settle into a restless unease. Your home is quiet and still, too quiet. You keep your ears focused as you wander around the house.

It goes from quiet to chaos too quickly, you hear shouting in the distance. A hand grabs your mouth before you can scream, you start to kick but strong arms hold you tightly. Taehyung shushes you as he pulls you to the back entrance of your home.

You’re running into the woods with the poet, he pulls you to the ground and holds you beneath him. From the bushes you watch men with swords circle your house. You feel violated as you watch them enter your home. Crashes inside make you flinch in Taehyung's arms. “We’ll go back to fetch our things once they leave,” he shushes you.

The soft warm glow of your house becomes bright, light filling up the night sky as a fire breaks out and the men continue to destroy your home. Taehyung covers your mouth to stifle your cries and holds you close to him, whispering countless apologies. You can only whimper in his arms, your shoulders shake in grief as you watch everything you own go up in flames.

When you first came to this place, you and Taehyung stood out too much for the villagers' liking. You were strangers, you didn’t look like them, and they targeted you constantly for the pettiest of things. But this area was remote so you endured their hateful ways. It didn’t help matters when Taehyung, a much better singer than the locals before him, was offered an audience with the region’s King. Taehyung never made an appearance, letting other singers he befriended attend in his place, hoping to gain some favor with the locals, but it only angered the King. Feeling insulted, he killed the poets. And now, with enemies at both ends, and anger consuming the villagers, Ares wrath scorched your home to the ground.

You’re quiet next to Taehyung. Your feet ache from walking. No horse, no food in days. It’s nightfall and cold, you wear his cloak and shiver still. You walk beside the poet, but he feels oceans away. His usual bright eyes are dull and full of sorrow. You didn’t realize how accustomed you were to his touch until he had stopped. Your body aches to be in his arms, to hold his hand while you walk. You feel loneliness twist around you instead.

It is Taehyung who breaks the silence. He speaks softly, “There is a famous temple of Athena in this city, hopefully we can convince them to let you stay.”

The idea revolts you, pulling at the pit of your stomach. The thought of going back to your old ways, as if it would be a reprieve or something you missed, makes you nauseated.

“No.”

“I thought it would be enough...I-I was naive. I’m truly cursed. I can sing all about love, paint beautiful stories of love’s triumph, but when I cannot give you anything else but my devotion, it’s not enough. I can’t stand to watch you wither away in front of me. You deserve more.”

“The oracle said-”

“What kind of life is this for you?” He stops walking, his voice breaks in his anguish. “I-I’m sorry. I should have never taken you away from safety into this reckless existence. This should have been my burden alone.” Tears fall down his face as he shudders. You reach for him, cup his face in your hands. How can you make him see he’s all you want? He lets you wipe away his tears. You pull his head down to meet yours.

“What kind of life is this? The best life I’ve ever could have wished for. A life full of love. I’d trade everything I have for you.” You brush your lips against his, it stops his tears. His eyes fill with adoration, a blazing intensity that makes your heartbeat quicken.

“Stop this worrying, let’s go.” You grab his hand and pull him along. The silence hangs heavy in the air, the stillness of the night frightens you.

“Sing me a song please.”

“From now on I’ll only sing for you.” Taehyung says his words quietly, but his resolve thunders to the heavens, shaking the course of your lives.

The light of day shines through your open window, it illuminates the thin white fabric pulled over your head and wakes you. The white cloth flitters in the breeze of your bedroom and you catch a peak of the handsome man lying next to you. His dark warm eyes are already open as he watches you stretch your sleepiness away. He lifts his head, pulling the sheet higher, so he can get a better look at you, “Good morning, my beloved.”

Taehyung’s dark hair and tan skin against the glowing white backdrop of your bed sheets makes him look ethereal. You watch him in awe, “Good morning, dear husband.”

Your body feels heavy and rested. Your bare skin is warm against his and the sun heated sheet, the soft fabric pulls over your bodies, everything is so soft and warm.

Taehyung buries his head in your chest, smiling against your skin. “I love you.”

Your fingers play with the curls of his hair. “And I love you.”

Underneath the covers, you create your own little world, away from the responsibilities of your lives, the expectations of the day.

Taehyung runs his lips across your naked chest, kissing, licking, biting all over your body. You giggle at his playful teasing touches. “You’re perfection, so soft and pretty.” He captures your lips in a kiss, moving his mouth against yours slowly as his body rests between your legs. His hands find your waist and pull at your skin as he explores your mouth with his tongue, swallowing your moans.

Your legs wrap around his torso, you can feel him growing against your slick core. Taehyung's fingers find yours and he intertwines them together, pulling your arms above your head. He nibbles on the sensitive skin below your jaw.

“You smell so good,” he moans, “you taste so good.” His low baritone voice sends shivers down your body. You whimper, breathless from his caresses. He thrusts in slowly, rolling his body into you, slow and steady until you’re both feverish from mounting pleasure. “What do you want, my love?”

“Just you, please, I want all of you.”

He rolls you over so your body is on top of him. “You have me forever. Now show me how much you want me.” Your playful lover bites his lower lip, pulling on your hips to make you move against him. Your body moves up and down his length, Taehyung’s moans and devastating lustful looks spur you on to please him.

You roll your hips faster, so close to release. Taehyung notices your frenzied state and grabs your hips to hold you still, thrusting up into you instead. His hard length fills you up so deliciously. His grip on you is searing yet soft, you focus on his body below you, his tight muscles and golden skin. “I-I’m close.”

“Touch yourself for me.”

The room fills with sinful noises as your bodies converge again and again and you cry out in euphoria. Taehyung stills inside you as you reach your high, mesmerized by the way your body twist in pleasure in his arms.

Taehyung lays your trembling body down against the soft sheets of your bed, grinding his hips into you as you continue to pulse around him. “Eyes open, look at me my love.”

You struggle with his command, but hold his gaze as best you can, his physique shines with sweat and his hungry eyes roam over your spent body, the erotic way he looks at you ignites the desire in between your legs once again.

He’s so close to release. Taehyung quickens his pace, making you tighten around him, senses overloaded. You moan, encouraging him to keep going.

“You’ll let me fill you up? Have my baby?” His long fingers find your sensitive nub, applying pressure and making you cry out.

“Y-yes!” You can only feel blinding pleasure as Taehyung thrusts into you deeper.

“How beautiful you’ll be, glowing and pregnant with my baby growing inside of you.” He groans. Your stomach tightens as his cock swells, pressure filling you before you feel yourself snapping again. Taehyung’s own release following, your tightness too much for him to handle.

You hold him close to you as you both work to steady your breathing, “We have to start baking soon,” you softly remind him, “before the market opens.”

Taehyung cuddles closer to you, “It’s okay, they’ll wait for my bread, it is the best in the city.” He grins, kneading at your breasts with his large hands. You laugh, relaxing into his embrace.

“Okay okay, we’ll stay a bit longer.”

Your children gather around you in prayer. You take in a ragged breath. Your bedridden aging body feels heavy. Soft light begins to cloud the edges of your vision as you listen to the wistful voices of your sons and daughters shower you with love. Taehyung's fingers brush against your wrinkled digits.

“My beautiful wife, how I missed you.”

You call out his name. Your eldest daughter soothes you, brushing her hand over your forehead. You thought you would be afraid once teetering on the edge of your own mortality, but with him here, holding you again, fear is unable to reach you. You’re already so full of love.

Taehyung comes into your focus, still beautiful in his old age, still the gentle man you love, he places a feather light kiss on your temple. Relief washes through you, the currents pull the burdens on your soul away, and you feel light, floating between worlds.

“I’ve waited for you,” Taehyung’s deep voice fills your mind, “Are you ready to travel with me again?” You know your answer, innate as the love you felt when you first met him.

You take one final breath, letting go and following Taehyung again.

---

Your eyes flutter open. You’re lying face down on the hotel bed. As your eyes begin to focus, you are met with the singer’s face next to yours. Taehyung is lying on his back next to you, grinning from ear to ear, your fingers are still interlocked by your heads.

“What happened?” you whisper.

“I don’t know, I think we passed out, I woke up right before you opened your eyes.”

He looks at you, still beaming, a boxy smile plastered on his face. You try not to smile back. He shouldn’t be this happy!

“That wasn’t bad. You made it sound bad.” he pouts.

You hum, looking at your still intertwined fingers. You study the smooth skin of your hands, the wrinkles and veins you’d seen now only a fleeting memory. You feel tired.

Taehyung feels like he’s just woken up from a long dream. Memories of last night feel far away, more distant than memories presumably lived centuries ago. He focuses on the only constant, you.

“Do you regret it?”

You let out a deep exhale, you move your hand to trace his cheek, his nose, his eyebrow; he watches you quietly. You flick him on the forehead.

Taehyung yelps, looking quite betrayed by your actions. You smile, and his expression switches easily back to happiness. “It’s okay, you don’t have to admit I’m right,” he teases.

You let out a huff, “Doesn’t it bother you? It should bother you! Why is this happening...it’s exhausting...”

Taehyung wraps his arms around you and pulls you close to his body. “I don’t care why,” he mumbles into your hair. Your breath catches in your throat as he cuddles closer to you.

“Do you want me to stop?”

Your heart pounds. You try to stay calm. “No,” you whisper.

His arms tighten around your frame. His warmth envelopes you, it feels like there’s fire inside you, burning down all your apprehensions.

“So this is how it feels. I thought I understood Jungkook. But this is....” you feel his body vibrate as he laughs to himself. “It’s not something you can put into words, right? I understand what he means, about not wanting to let you go.”

Closing your eyes you can picture yourself being in a different place, a different land, another time, you let yourself relax into Taehyung’s embrace. You can feel his hands caress your body, his long fingers travel to the back of your neck and down your spine and the curve of your back.

“I know I’ve never hugged you, but it feels like I’ve done this a hundred times before. Like you belong with me.” His voice is low in your ears. You try to ignore how you feel, how true his words are, but you can't.

“Right? At least admit that to me, y/n.” He whispers. His fingers dig into your skin as he pulls you even closer.

“Hm?”

“You belong with me.”

“I-” A knock on your door makes you break away from him. Taehyung flops on his back, sighing. You open the door to the youngest and oldest members smiling at you.

“Good morning!” You internally wince at your unusually high voice. Jungkook looks over your shoulder, noticing movement inside your room. He sees Taehyung sitting cross legged on your bed, leaning back on his palms with a grin on his face. Jungkook’s doe eyes go wide as his head turns slowly over to the eldest, who then mirrors his expression. Their surprised faces would be comical to you if you didn’t feel responsible for their reactions.

Everyone’s silence is making your stomach twist into knots. You clear your throat. “I touched his hand, if that’s what you’re wondering.” Unable to meet their eyes, you feel the need to add, “That’s all that happened. So...okay, let’s go!”

---

Everyone is sitting in the penthouse, around the coffee table filled with plates piled high with different breakfast foods. Some are sitting on the floor, some on the couch with plates in their laps. Jin ushers you next to an open spot next to J-Hope and sits on your other side. Taehyung and Jungkook have been quietly talking behind you and find seats in the empty gaps.

“The food here is really good,” Hoseok says in between bites as Jin serves you a plate. He smiles brightly at you. Hoseok wishes he wasn't so apprehensive with you. He aches to get to know you, learn all your quirks, learn about your childhood and what makes you happy so he can shower you with more of it; and what makes you sad so he can make sure you never experience it again. But he's too scared, Hoseok feels too much guilt.

His hair is messy and sticking up in weird angles, you resist the urge to fix it. ‘Just keep your hands to yourself, y/n. He’s not your friend,’ you chant in your head. You look around at the men, cozy and warm in their group. You realize how much of an outsider you are.

“Here,” Jin places a triangle of sweet toast on your already overflowing plate. You eat quietly while the members talk to themselves and check their phones. It feels nice, like a big family dinner on the holidays. You watch Hoseok take a selfie with his phone, a minute later you feel your phone vibrate with a notification.

“You posted to twitter just now?” Hoseok notices the panic in your voice as you magnify the picture to make sure there’s no item or reflection that might incriminate you.

“Err yes, why?” he scoots closer to you to see what you’re doing.

“I just-didn’t think it was that easy.” You scroll quickly through your timeline now that you’ve made sure you’re safe, Jin and Hoseok both moving in your space to stare at your phone much to your dismay and you think it’s time to put it away after the third photo of Namjoon’s toned arms pop up on your feed.

After stuffing yourselves full, the time has come to address the elephant in the room. The members take turns reliving the moments of last night, and in Taehyung’s case this morning, explaining everything so the group could all remain on the same page.

Namjoon should have been upset, once Taehyung shocked the rest of the group by speaking, but being in the same predicament himself, he was not surprised to learn Taehyung sought you out, he had barely slept toying with the idea himself.

You don’t talk much, just confirm certain details. You noticed how the men glossed over the most tragic parts of your visions, and you don’t care to interject. You learned new things as well...

Jimin finding his way back to your farm, only to find it destroyed and you gone, and unable to live with himself after that. You can’t meet each other's eyes when you tell him your own version of events.

Jin wanted to propose, he had picked out a ring, a bright blue gem like the ocean.

Taehyung had convinced you he stopped singing as a bard because he grew to hate it, but he confessed, to your suspicion, that wasn’t the case at all. He promised you he never once regretted his decision.

Hoseok took the job as a DJ because when you were younger you were obsessed with your local station, swooning over the DJ's voice and always calling in to win contests for you and Hoseok. He always had an affinity for music, but mostly he did it for you, to impress you.

Yoongi almost didn’t admit he had never really left your side, how he never stopped protecting you. That had shocked you the most. Your heart screams to comfort him, to comfort all of them.

Jungkook excitedly tells you everything he had planned for your escape, he used his life’s savings to find you and him a new home far away. He tells you how if you both had succeeded you would have been so happy with him.

It felt weird. All these lives inside you itching to burst through, you didn’t feel like yourself anymore. You meet the idol’s eyes sitting next to you, and when he looks at you so tenderly, you wonder who he really sees.

“Yoongi’s life was the coolest.” The quiet rapper keeps his head down, only nodding in acknowledgement at Jimin’s comment.

“Well I liked mine,” Taehyung declares. “Which one was your favorite, y/n?”

“I’m not answering that,” you mutter, growing hot under the sudden attention.

“Hmm I don’t see a connection.” Namjoon hums. “Apart from y/n.”

“Should there be one?”

“I’m assuming nothing strange like this has ever happened to you before?” Namjoon turns to you. You shake your head. “Have you ever had dreams, um, of us?”

“No! I mean-what? No.” You pull the neck of Jungkook’s hoodie over your mouth to hide your embarrassment, with no intention on admitting anything. What does dreaming have to do with this?

Namjoon stays silent in thought. Should he tell the group now?

“I should probably go now.” It’s no longer morning after talking for so long. You have a life to go back to; chores, work. You hope being back in your home will make you feel more like the old you, before everything you thought you knew was turned upside down.

Jungkook stands up, “Why!”

“I have work in the morning? Not everyone is a famous world class musician,” You try to keep your tone light, but you’re bothered.

His lips press into a tight line. “I know, just…”

You have responsibilities, a job to go to tomorrow, you don’t want to entertain the wild fantasies arising in your mind at the way he looks at you so pleadingly to stay. “I can’t stay here all day.” You stand up as well, the members’ eyes dart back and forth between you and Jungkook, like they were watching fighters in a match.

“I don’t want you to leave.” Jungkook blurts out.

You close your eyes and rub at your temples. It’s becoming too hard, to keep pushing these feelings away, you cannot allow yourself to feel things for these men. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. What do you want from me?”

Jungkook speaks louder, “Do you not want to be with me?”

“I’m-that’s not-it’s not that simple. You don’t even know me! Do you want to be with me-”

“Yes.”

You let out an incredulous laugh and look around the room, but the men look starkly serious. You focus on the youngest again, raising your voice so everyone can hear you clearly. “I’m a nobody. You don’t know me. Name one thing you know about me other than my name...name my favorite color! If you can name my favorite color I’ll sta-”

Jungkook names your favorite color. His eyes piercing through you. Your breath catches in your throat.

‘How did he-wait...was it her favorite color too?’ Tears well up in your eyes. “...I’m not her.”

Jungkook winces at your words, “You’re right, I don’t know who you are right now. But you are...I know you are...the woman I fell in love with. What are you so afraid of?”

You look down at the ground to your feet. You can only shake your head at him and keep your mouth shut so you don’t start crying in front of them. You feel a hand wrap around yours and you already know who it is. You yank your hand away. If Yoongi is hurt, he doesn’t show it to you.

“I’m sorry, I know my life is difficult, that I’m a ‘famous musician,’ but isn’t it better than a poor stable worker? Can’t you see how meeting you again, this might be, maybe...fate?”

A pained laugh escapes your throat, letting go of the pressure you built up in your forced silence. “Oh my god. This is not happening.” Yes, maybe you can finally admit what happened was real, but what does that change? It’s not like you can run away with him in this life either, the entire world recognizes him now.

Your hands hold your head, your nails dig into your skin to concentrate on anything other than Jungkook’s continuing pleas. It’s just laughable to think this idol is begging you to stay with him. A sick thought invades your mind that maybe you’re doomed to repeat your transgressions. The memory of his bleeding body flashes in your mind, you’re not meant to be with them, how could you be? They’re the most famous singers in the world, yeah, you are afraid.

Jimin tries to calm down the youngest, “Kookie, you can’t force her to stay here…”

Jungkook is beside himself. He feels you slipping through his fingers again, away from him and even if it’s different now, it feels too sickeningly similar.

“Hyung please, you’ve been with non-idols, please talk to her...please!” Jungkook is crying, begging Jin.

A strangled sob escapes your throat at his cries. Hoseok rushes over to you, but you scramble away from his touch. You know you’ll break the second you let him comfort you.

Jin’s heart is breaking; for Jungkook, for you, for himself. He doesn’t know what to say, he’s just afraid as Jungkook of letting you go. Finally Namjoon decides to take control of the situation, the only one with a clear head. “Everyone leave. Now. Y/n deserves her space, and we still have four more days left in this city. Alright go!” The boys pull each other away, holding onto each other for strength, trusting their leader.

Yoongi pats a crying Jungkook on the back, “It’s okay, Joon will convince her.”

---

Your eyes hurt from crying, puffy and dark. You feel pathetic. Your head is pounding, you lean against the car window as you watch the blur of the city go past.

“Here.” Namjoon sits across from you, leaving the middle seat open. He hands you a cell phone.

You hold the sleek new model in your hand, “What is this?”

“It’s a hand phone,” the idol says teasingly.

You can’t help but let out a small laugh. “What is this for?”

“For you, to contact us.” Namjoon shrugs, “If you want to.” You sit in silence as his driver takes you home.

“You haven’t asked to touch my hand. Do you not want to?” You ask, sneaking a glance at the rapper.

“Of course I want to,” he speaks softly. “It’s all I’ve thought about since I saw you. But you’ve gone through a lot. I’ll let you decide if it’s something you want to do, and when you’re ready I’ll be here.”

You bite your lip. “For four more days.”

Namjoon smiles, his dimples on display. “Yes, I’m guessing you didn’t get tickets for the next city?”

“No, I wish. Those fanmeet tickets weren’t exactly cheap.”

Namjoon chuckles softly, “Ahh sorry.”

“Well, I did get a free breakfast with BTS, lucky me,” you hum. He nods, his eyes cast down. You hope he didn’t catch any bitterness in your tone, under any circumstance you would be dying of happiness.

You let the silence envelope you again, as you start to recognize the streets, you’re getting closer to home and to being left alone. You sigh, running your hands over your face, “Oh god, this is a mess.”

“I don’t think it is. I think there’s a reason for everything. And I think there’s a reason why this happened to you. To all of us.”

“What could that reason be?” You ask him genuinely, maybe the genius idol sees something you don’t.

“I don’t know. I do know it’s lonely being an idol. It’s hard to love, to find someone to love you and not break under the constant pressure.”

“I don’t know if I can be that person.”

“Well to me, it sounds like you’ve already been that person.” You want to scoff, but the sincere look in his eyes makes you stop. The GPS signals your arrival home.

The air is heavy as you gather up the strength to leave, “I will message you later, I promise. Just give me some time.”

You watch the expensive van leave your entrance. You couldn’t see through the dark tinted windows, but you had a feeling the idol was watching you, so you held yourself together and waved goodbye.

---

You know you should have just gone inside your home, but you had something to do first, it was driving you mad not knowing. So now you stand in front of a door that’s not your own still in clothes that are not your own. You send a text of your arrival and knock.

“Hi!” You pretend you aren’t exhausted, “I just have to try something-”

He looks at you dumbfounded as you grab his hand and start shaking it. Nothing. ‘Of course, just wonderful.’ You switch to two hands, shaking more forcefully.

“What’s going on...” his voice is shaky from the intense movements of your greeting. ‘Why is nothing happening, why is it only them, Ugh, why!’

“Earth to y/n...” why why why why.

He grabs your arms to stop your movements “Hey, are you okay? You never responded to my calls, I was worried.”

“I’m sorry,” you look into his concerned eyes. It feels like eons ago, whatever budding feelings you had for him. Why.

“Do you want to come in?”

“No, I better go.”

“You came all the way over here and you don’t want to tell me how last night went? You meet BTS and now you’re acting all crazy! You didn’t decide to leave me for one of them, did you?” your friend jokes.

“Ah ha aha…”

He raises his eyebrow at you. “I have work tomorrow...I just wanted to see you.” It’s the truth, you’re not lying. “I’m sorry for not responding last night. I’ll see you later?”

He gives you a kiss goodbye. ‘Oh no.’ It all feels so wrong.

---

The first day, you send Jungkook an apology. He sends you a ton of voice memos and selfies, just happy to talk to you again. You respond with light replies, trying not to dig your hole any deeper.

The second day, that night you break down. You send all the boys a simple “hi”. Yoongi, Jin, Taehyung, Jungkook, and Namjoon all respond. They send messages about their day. Jin sends you a picture of his food. Yoongi says he misses you. Against your better judgement you tell him you miss him too. Suspiciously, after your reply Jungkook and Taehyung message that they miss you seconds apart from one another. You tell them you miss them too, when Taehyung says he wants to see you, you’re too scared to respond.

The third day you stay busy with work. Hoseok sends you a picture of the sunset, his first message to you, nothing else. You wait until the night comes and send a picture of the moon from your window, and ‘Goodnight. Sweet dreams.’

The fourth day the pressure becomes too much. You hover over the call button all day but you can’t do it. By dinner time, you get a call from Jungkook. You try to swallow down the tears you’ve cried all day and sound cheerful when you answer.

“I just wanted to call before we get on the plane,” he says.

‘It’s too late. No.’ you think. “I’m sorry, tell Namjoon I’m so sorry. I should have seen him before you all left, I should have...”

“Don’t worry y/n. No one blames you.”

“That doesn’t mean what I did was okay. I wanted to see you all again.”

“You did?” The way his voice becomes more cheerful tugs at your heart. “You can make it up to us by talking more. Can I video chat with you later?”

“Okay.”

“Okay, got to go...Bye Beautiful.” He sounds like he’s in a much better mood, you can hear the teasing lilt to his words.

Weeks go by. You keep your promise. It’s easier communicating through the screen of your phone. You can imagine them to be online friends, people who are not famous. Some conversations stay light, some become deeper. They pry information from your life, learning more and more about you, and you feel yourself getting attached to their morning greetings and late night calls. Meanwhile, with family and friends you try to act like everything is normal, keeping this weird new world hidden, but you’re still constantly haunted by your memories with them. Your past lives play through your mind all day long and replace your dreams. Everything else felt so wrong now, so not you anymore, so gray. You feel like a bad friend, a bad daughter, a cheater.

---

Namjoon wakes up, groaning, his body still heavy from sleep. He quickly changes into a pair of slacks and a button down shirt. He chooses a forest green vest to wear, like the plants in his room. He runs pomade in his hair before heading downstairs to get ready for the morning.

He unlocks the door to his bookstore, before he can turn around the door opens with a loud ding. You walk in and make a beeline to the center table. Namjoon laughs, “Back so soon?”

“Of course, I’m so bored! My crops won’t be harvestable for another couple of months. Any other recommendations? I loved your last one.” You smile brightly at the bookstore owner, he’s always so kind to you and doesn’t make you feel like an outsider when you visit. If you could, you would spend all day in his store, talking about the latest novels and picking each other's brains. “Before I forget! For you...” You hand him two jars of homemade jam.

You're his favorite customer. And if Namjoon is being honest, he has a crush on you. He pulls a book from high above a shelf, a pristine copy. “This one, it should keep you busy.” Your eyes sparkle as you take in the large leather bound novel, gold letters adorning it’s spine. “How much?”

“Don’t worry, this one time I’ll take jam as payment.”

“No, that was a present,” you pout.

“Well, then this is a present for you.”

“Sir, if you don’t let me pay, I will throw a fit! I need you to stay in business.” It’s always like this with him, you’ll be damned if he doesn’t let you show him how much you appreciate him.

Namjoon laughs, “Alright alright. Then promise me you’ll come visit as soon as you finish.”

You nod, holding your new purchase close to your heart. He watches you leave, his eyes lingering on your body. You hold onto his book like a prized trophy. It’s another thing he loves about you, the way you treat things with so much care. His eyes still linger on you as you stand outside his shop. He sees a stranger run into you, you stumble back and almost fall, he rushes to the door to help you but stops in his tracks as the man's face comes into focus. “Jimin?”

Namjoon wakes up startled. He runs his hands through his hair, disturbed at what he saw. He’s covered in sweat, inside the cold room of his bedroom. Every night he’s had dreams of you, but this one was different. Should he go talk to someone about it? Who would believe him? He feels like every day he’s slowly getting closer to losing his mind. Today is going to be a long day full of press junkets. He rubs at his eyes trying to forget what he saw, what he felt.

---

Today you decide to call Namjoon. Usually, you’ll wait until one of the members decides to call you, but you had to talk to him before you lost your nerve. He picks up on the second ring. “Hey, I can’t talk for that long, is everything okay?” you can hear how busy it is in the background.

“No it’s my fault! I’m sorry, I’m an idiot, of course you would be busy. Call me when you’re free.”

“No! I have some time, we can talk.” You hear him shuffling to a quieter location.

Are you going to regret this? You take a deep breath. “I want to see you again. I-I don’t want to forget about what happened and go back to my life like everything is normal when it's not. You were right. I’m sorry...I’m sorry it took me so long to realize it.” You wait for Namjoon’s response, the silence fills you with anxiety. You would completely understand if he brushes you off now.

“I’ll figure something out. Okay y/n?”

“Okay.”

“I’ll see you soon.”

“See you.”

That night Namjoon sends you a series of text messages with instructions. Your eyes go wide over the new information. You look around your home, you know you should feel some sadness, but only excitement bubbles inside you. ‘I guess this is it.’ How are you going to explain this to your family and friends, to your boyfriend? A special internship in South Korea, you guess is how you’ll start.

---Three Months Later---

Namjoon splashes cold water on his face, he looks up into his bathroom mirror and blinks at his reflection. Namjoon’s eyes are not his.

Namjoon wakes up yelling. He falls back into bed, catching his breath. He checks the time. You should be on the plane right now. The idol rapper has always appreciated the wealth he’s accumulated over the years, but he feels especially grateful in this moment, now that he has found himself in a position of power large enough to secure you with a translation job within his own company.

---

A man holds a sign with your name on it. You walk towards him, your suitcase ticking on the airport concrete as it rolls on the ground behind you. You spent the last three months preparing for this, studying over language books every night and saying goodbye to family and friends. Your parents didn’t understand your sudden change of career, but you promised them the pay was better and it wouldn’t be forever. Your boyfriend was not so understanding, especially when you wouldn’t give him any details as to why you’re leaving the county. You and him weren’t even that serious to begin with but the breakup was messy.

You followed the driver’s instructions once he dropped you off in front of a very posh looking complex, entering key codes, up the elevator, down the hall, until you stood in front of the correct numbered door. You use the key he gave you to unlock the large door and walk into a massive apartment. Every member is already inside, waiting for you. You feel relief wash over you, you can’t help but smile at the group. They cheer at your arrival, you notice balloons and a makeshift welcome sign. The mood is definitely much more relaxed from the last time you all gathered together.

“Is this your place?” You ask as Jungkook takes your suitcase.

“No, this is your apartment.”

Your eyes go wide, “This is way too big!”

Taehyung jumps up and gives you a hug. The months you talked made you feel much more comfortable around them, but you still weren’t prepared for the rush of emotions that filled you once in his embrace again.

“It’s the smallest unit in this building,” Yoongi lets you know.

“And I’m guessing I can’t go to another building.”

“Our dorm is in this one,” The youngest member explains.

“How…” You take a deep breath, eyeing Jungkook up and down, “...convenient.” You take a seat with them on the ridiculously huge couch, next to Yoongi and Jin.

You sigh, stretching your sore jet lagged muscles. “Need to go to the bathroom?” Yoongi whispers at you teasingly.

You snort, his words taking you out of your worries. “Funny,” you mutter.

The eldest helps you fill out a stack of forms for your employment while the rest set plates of takeout on the living room table. You eat your first meal in Korea together. Sitting together, laughing together, you feel better than you have in months. It’s that feeling you get when you’ve finally completed a puzzle, placing the last piece in its place. You feel complete.

Taehyung’s words pull you from your thoughts.

“So y/n, when are you gonna hold Joon’s hand?”

“Oh, um…”

“You came all the way to Korea for him, right!” Taehyung teases.

“She doesn’t have to...” Namjoon murmurs.

“Oh c’mon! You can’t tell me you haven’t been going crazy waiting!”

“Yeah, I agree with Tae!” Jimin laughs.

“Do it!” Jungkook cheers.

“Do it! Do it! Do it!” The youngest members are chanting at the pair of you. You feel the heat rise in your face. You had planned on it, you wanted to find a way to get Namjoon alone, but now with all the attention on you, you feel apprehensive. You look over to Namjoon who looks equally as embarrassed. ‘I don’t want to do this,’ the thought screams in your head.

It has been months, Namjoon has waited for this moment. Now that he’s being put on the spot, he’s apprehensive. Ever since his bandmates touched you, they have acted differently, it might not be noticeable to anyone around them, but Namjoon noticed. Would he change too? Before he can yell at his bandmates, you stand up and walk over to his seat. “They aren’t going to stop,” You whisper, holding out your hand. He sighs and stands up.

“So?” Jin asks when he notices the lack of reaction from both of you as you grip each other's hands.

“Um, nothing is happening.” You stare at the rapper, but his attention is on the place where your hands meet, brows furrowed in disbelief.

“This doesn’t make sense..” He starts shaking your hand up and down as if that might help, it reminds you of the night he dropped you off, and you know exactly how he feels.

“Maybe it’s because I’m jet lagged or something? We could try again later...” you try to soothe the rapper but you can tell he is growing more and more upset with each passing moment, and your arm feels like it's going to dislodge from your shoulder the more he shakes.

The members have all gone silent.

“Maybe you don’t have a past life together?” Hoseok places his hand on Namjoon’s shoulder to stop his movements. No one expected this.

“No, that’s not-we have to-I know it!” Namjoon tries to stay calm but his voice is full of panic.

“Maybe it had something to do with that time, the planets aligning or something?” Jimin says. Is this your fault? Because you were too scared. What have you done? You’re rethinking everything now, you shouldn’t have come here.

“No.” Namjoon is right, he knows it, “that’s not it...” It doesn’t make sense, he knows there’s a connection between you and him. He lets the confession tumble out of his mouth before he can properly think. “Your name, I knew it! How would I know your name?”

You look at him confused, “What do you mean?”

Namjoon bites his tongue. He lets go of you. He blinks his eyes to get rid of tears threatening to spill. The mood is gone and everyone is silent. You feel horrible. Somehow this is your fault, you know it.

“Joon...” The eldest member calls out to him.

“I-I need some air.” Namjoon breaks away from the group.

“Wait!”

---

OOOOooo you had a whole ass boyfriend and you went and tongued Yoongi, scandalous. Looks like poor Joonie got the spiritual cockblock. Should I explain myself lol or do you like drawing your own conclusions?

Oh! Fun fact, the two sentences were this: Your eyes flutter open, you’re lying face down on the hotel bed. Taehyung is lying on his back next to you, grinning from ear to ear, your fingers are still interlocked by your heads. That’s what I had to go on T_T hah. Anyways let me know what you think <3

[eloves-writes]

a failed attempt to hate you

(tristan dugray)

a/n: i can only apologise if this writing is terrible, i wrote most of this in the middle of the night hopped up on medication for my disgusting cold. i hope it makes sense. anywho thanks for reading, enjoy, mwah <3

screw mr medina for making you help tristan study. you knew he knew from rory your inherent disdain for him, and it wasn’t your fault he was falling behind therefore not your responsibility to help him (as you had told mr medina last tuesday, with no effect). it was now sunday morning and you held little hope he would actually show up this time; he had somehow managed to cancel on your little study date 6 times already and it had only been 5 days since you were handed this apparently mammoth task. honestly, you didn’t expect him to show up at all, especially not anytime before noon- for which reasons you had made the decision put on your usual lazy sunday morning reading in bed get-up, which included (but was not limited to) an oversized rock concert shirt rory’s friend lane had given you in an attempt to clear her closet of non-christian attire, nothing but underwear underneath since you wouldn’t plan on leaving the comfort of your bedsheets for many hours, and a loose silk scrunchie you accidentally stole from rory keeping your hair out of your eyes. 

your book of choice today was ‘harry potter and the goblet of fire’ , the most recently released chapter of the boy wizard’s adventures at hogwarts. the clock beside you read 9:15 as you comfied yourself for a morning of magic and adventure, which naturally was ended a mere 8 minutes later at 9:23 when the doorbell rang downstairs. you assumed your mother would answer it, but when it rang a second time you remembered your parents had both gone out to watch your sibling’s soccer match and you’d have to get it yourself.

it didn’t even cross your mind to put pants on, or that it may not be the postman at the door, until you opened it to see your very favourite chilton student whose eyes had hastily wandered to your bare legs. typical high school boy, you thought to yourself before your brain actually grasped the situation and kick started into action.

‘tristan. hi.’ you said with a slight shock in your voice.

‘erm, hi. i hope i’m not interrupting anything,’ he smirked, glancing down at your thighs again.

you rolled your eyes so aggressively you hoped mr medina could hear it from wherever he was spending his day, irritating boy-less and free to do whatever he wanted with his time.

‘you’re not,’ you quipped. ‘i just didn’t expect you to actually show up this time. and early may i add, i’m sure we said 11.’

‘we did, but i’ve got plans later so i thought i’d come by earlier and get this over with.’

‘how did you know i didn’t have plans? i might have been busy before 11.’

he pulled a face of amusement and you could swear you saw a hint of sarcasm shining through his eyes too. ‘right. are you done talking now or can i come in?’

‘you can come in, i guess,’ you sighed, closing the door behind him and showing him to the kitchen table. ‘wait here, i’ll go and get my books.’

‘grab some pants whilst you’re at it.’

‘stop talking,’ you called as you walked upstairs.

you came back downstairs a few minutes later fully-clothed and carrying your english notes to see that tristan had wandered from the chair you specifically remembered telling him to sit in, and was instead tracing a finger along the bookcase that stretched across the far wall of your living room. for a moment you just watched him nosey into your life; the framed certificates, the family photos, the 5 tapes of ‘beauty and the beast’ stacked atop of each other because it was your favourite film when you were 9 and practically every living relative had bought you a copy. beside those was a picture of you dressed as princess belle at disneyworld with chocolate ice cream smeared from cheek to cheek, a huge smile plastered between. tristan picked it up and turned to face you.

‘thoroughly adorable. seriously, you should go for this look more often.’

‘ha ha,’ you grimaced, snatching it off him and placing it back on the shelf. ‘are we studying or reminiscing on my past fashion choices?’ 

‘oo, someone’s in a good mood this morning huh,’ he teased. you pulled another face, once again silently cursing mr medina for completely ruining not just your day, but in fact your whole week. by god this boy got more irritating the more time you spent with him- it had only been 10 minutes, but it was 10 minutes longer than you ever previously had or ever wanted to.

 ‘can i get a drink before we start?’ he asked, redirecting the conversation and walking past you back into the kitchen. he began opening various cupboards, searching for a glass. ‘where’s the-’

‘why yes, tristan. you can have a drink,’ you snarked, opening the cupboard behind him with a dramatic flourish. he raised his eyebrows at you and reached forward to grab a glass, leaning over you as he did so. you caught a whiff of his cologne and almost forgot to dislike him for a moment.

‘there’s, um, soda in the ... fridge,’ you told him, voice unwillingly faltering as he looked down to meet your eyes. he had pretty eyes. pretty, blue, sparkling, stupid, annoying, asshole eyes. 

you found the thick tension sickening. you refused to be another girl at school who simply swooned over him when he walked past your locker. you didn't like him. you were here to teach him english. because he was dumb. and actually, his eyes weren’t that nice.

he grabbed a soda out of the fridge and you both sat down at the table and began reading through your analysis of ‘to kill a mockingbird’, adamantly pretending not to see him staring at you the whole time. 

why? he had had every popular and pretty girl in the whole of chilton, how was he ever so starved of female attention that he would look at you so admirably when you liked to make it clear you despised him? in fact, you enjoyed making a special effort to flip him off, or pull a face at him when he walked by, or kick his chair extra hard in spanish, or... oh shit. you had seen it from an outside point of view now, and it was glaringly obvious; maybe you did like him, just a little bit. shit. rory owed lorelai 10$ and a cheeseburger from luke’s, though you didn’t want to have to admit she was right when she’d said you were like a kindergarten boy pulling a girl’s ponytails because he thought she was pretty.

‘hey tristan,’ you started, breaking the comfortable silence between his questions and suddenly nervous to talk to him. stupid, it was still the exact same boy you’d been complaining about all week, nothing new. 

he looked up from your notes. ‘what’s up princess?’ 

that was definitely new.

‘don’t call me princess’ -he smirked irritatingly- ‘do you need to stay much longer? i mean, is there anything else you want help with?’

‘trying to get rid of me?’

‘no! no. i just thought that you’d only stay and pretend to listen to me for like, half an hour then vanish. it’s 11:30 and you’ve been through my whole binder.’

‘it is? time flies.’

‘tristan.’

‘i do care about my grades, you know. and you’re a good teacher, i might have a chance at an A.’

‘why didn't you show up the last 6 times we planned then?’

he put down his pen- your pen, actually. it had pink sparkles on the lid. ‘got to keep up my street cred.’

‘ha ha. funny,’ you replied as blankly as possible, pulling back a smile you could feel in your stomach. you made eye contact again and, like every other time since you’d sat down and started studying, you held each other’s gaze for longer than necessary. funny how realising you like someone makes you suddenly act like it.

‘i should get going then right,’ he said, picking his jacket from the back of his chair.

you felt weird, almost as if you didn't want him to leave after praying earlier he wouldn't show up. alas, your parents would be home soon and you would be willing to bet money that tristan would have some interesting jokes about your being home alone that would not slide with your dad.

‘yeah. i hope you get that A,’ you said, accidentally smiling as you walked him to the door.

tristan turned to lean on the frame of the now-open door and put on a face of mock surprise. ‘my, my, y/n. was that a kind comment and a smile? you’re spoiling me.’

‘shut up, i hope you fail.’

he smiled back. ‘you really mean that?’

‘i guess not.’

there was yet another beat of heavy silence.

‘see you monday.’

‘see you monday.’

you closed the front door as he walked down the drive, but noticed tristan’s car keys still sat on the kitchen table. a porsche, of course. you picked them up and reopened the door to his fist poised to knock. the two of you laughed awkwardly for a second.

‘i forgot my-’

‘you forgot your-’

another awkward laugh. jesus christ this was uncomfortable. you passed him the keys, and with absolutely no warning at all, your lips were suddenly met with his. they were soft and confident, and his free hand held your face as you tried to process the new situation. you quickly melted into the kiss, letting him take control until he pulled away and smiled that sparkly smile you didn't hate as much as you tried to.

‘didn't see that one coming,’ you said breathily, brushing some loose hairs off of your face.

‘i knew you didn’t hate me.’

‘ever the arrogant twat.’

‘hey, does this mean you’ll stop kicking my chair in spanish?’

‘absolutely not. in fact, i think i’ll kick it harder.’

‘as long as you let me do that again.’

tags: @leossmoonn for inspiring me to start writing again, @account123445 & @lmaoidekanymore6 for asking me to post tristan fics! (couldn’t figure out how to make the tags work but if you read this, you know ✨)

[spenciebabie]

This is a request from @mggbler! Thanks for asking, I loved writing this, I hope you like it!

The blurb was written for this gif.

The Girl Next Door

Spencer and his neighbor have been friends since he moved in. Just friends, so why was he feeling so jealous?

A/N: I got super carried away with this one, I really don’t think I’m capable of writing something under 1000 words. But I was inspired so what are you gonna do

Warnings: smut, nothing too explicit, masturbation (male and female), implied sex, kissing

Words: 1.6k

They’d been friends since the day Spencer moved into the building. She knew the place next door had been on the market for a while and was beyond excited to find out it was another person her own age moving in. Their building was packed with people who’d lived there since the place was built. Not that she hadn’t made friends with them too, it was just nice to have some fresh blood.

She’d brought over a bottle of wine and baked a plate of cookies to welcome him to the building. And his heart instantly swelled with gratitude. They became fast friends, Spencer had never had many of those, and he certainly hadn’t had many outside of work, so he welcomed the connection with open arms.

She was so easy to talk to that it never felt like a burden, or even effort to hang out with her. It always felt simple, and it always felt good.

Until about a year ago. Something shifted and he couldn’t really pinpoint when exactly it happened but I did. Spencer knew she was pretty, she had been from that first day she popped into his doorframe. But Spencer didn’t only care about pretty, he wasn’t the type of person to fall in love with the way someone looked, he fell in love with personality first.

He thinks it might’ve been last November, when he came home from a particularly bad case at 3am and she was outside his door at 3:05. Sleep in her eyes still in her pajamas, when she heard sounds coming from the hall she knew it was him, and something in her knew he needed company. And he realized that he needed her, that he loved her. But that love complicated things.

——

Their apartments are mirror images of each other, which was jarring at first, to walk into a backwards version of your own apartment, but the decorations are all a little different. It was just funny at first but since November it had become a problem.

Because of the layout, their bedrooms backed onto one another, worse still, the headboards of each of their beds were right up against the same paper thin wall.

This hadn’t been a real problem before but since he’d realized his feelings, and since she’d started going on more dates, it was starting to grate on Spencer.

Every time she left for a date he’d have a horrible sinking feeling in his stomach. He couldn’t sleep because he’d sit up waiting, listening intently for the sound of her coming in from the date, hoping desperately that she was alone.

And on the occasions that she was he’d feel relief, and then he’d feel horrible for feeling relieved that she’d had a bad time. But on the occasions that she wasn’t alone he’d feel even worse.

He hated the way he could hear her gentle moans, the way she’d cry out a muffled name as her headboard rocked against their shared wall. He loved the noises she made, more than anything, but he hated the noises that came from the other person in there with her. The person that was making her feel that way.

Sometimes he’d get lucky and it would be over quickly. Other times he’d get unlucky and he’d wake up to the same perfect moans the following morning.

Most of the time if he heard it starting he’d just get up and sleep on the couch.

Those paper thin walls could be a blessing at other times. On the occasions that he knew she didn’t have a date, that she was alone in her room. And he’d hear those same beautiful, filthy sounds. Sometimes he could hear the gentle hum of her vibrator, other times he wouldn’t, but the outcome would be the same. She’d moan and cry and if he was lucky, and she was particularly loud, he could sometimes hear her heavy panting.

On those occasions he’d let his own hand drift under the covers and into his boxers. He’d touch himself, stroking along his hard length while he listened. Screwing his eyes shut so that he could picture what might be happening on the other side of the wall, what was she wearing, or not wearing, what position was she lying in, how many fingers was she using, or did she have other toys. And more than anything, he wondered what she was picturing herself.

But when that happened he’d feel terrible almost immediately afterwards. It felt like an invasion of privacy but he really couldn’t help himself any more.

— —

When he arrives home that evening he’s barely got time to leave his satchel down before there’s a knock at his door. He knows who it is, it couldn’t be anyone else.

When he opens it she’s not dressed like she usually is. She’s in a little red dress. The kind with the tiny little straps that held it up, and the tie that wraps it snug around her waist. It cuts off at the mid thigh and he has to force himself to stop looking.

That’s when his eyes land on the bottle of wine in her hand and for a second he feels excited. She was coming over here dressed like that to see him!

“Have you got an corkscrew?” is the first thing she says, “I can’t find mine?”

He nods and steps aside to let her in, while he goes to rummage in the kitchen for his opener. She follows him to the kitchen and leans herself against the countertop.

When he finds it he hands it to her and she pops open the cork.

“Thanks Spence, you’re a lifesaver” she hands it back to him, and he roots through the cupboard for some glasses.

“You want a glass?” She asks, pouring her own and he nods, so she fills one up for him too.

Before he can ask what the occasion is she volunteers the information herself.

“I’ve got a date in like 20 minutes and I’m too nervous, I thought I’d have a drink to calm down but then I couldn’t find my corkscrew and I just made myself more nervous looking for it” she rushes out with a light laugh.

“Oh, cool” he says, and he tries desperately to keep his emotions under control but his heart felt like it was physically aching.

“I should actually head back in there and get ready, I gotta leave soon. You can keep the rest of that bottle, I’ll return the glass later!” She calls out as she wanders back towards his door. “Bye Spence”

“Good luck” he calls down the hall after her, and he wishes he meant it.

— —

Two hours go by and he’s mentally preparing himself for a night spent on the couch when there’s a light knock at his door.

It’s Y/N, and she looks as perfect as she did earlier, and something in him notices that her lipstick is still completely intact. She’s holding his wine glass from earlier and she hands it out to him.

“Here, thanks, but it didn’t do me much good” she frowns a little, and he yet again feels awful that it brings him so much relief.

“Do you wanna come in?” He asks, and he knows he shouldn’t.

“Yeah okay, another glass might help me now” she chuckles and she takes the wine glass back from him.

They sit next to each other on the couch and finish off the bottle together. She always feels so at ease in Spencer’s apartment. Maybe it’s because it was just like her own. But really she knew it was because he lived there, he just made her feel so comfortable, so happy, so loved.

And she also knew that’s why none of her dates had ever gotten a second, and why her date this evening had gone so badly.

None of them made her feel the way that Spencer did. None of them looked at her the way his eyes were looking at her now. And she knew she wouldn’t feel anything close to the love she felt for Spencer for anyone else.

“Spence?” She asks, placing her glass back on the coffee table, “do you ever think about us?”

“Us?” He asks, unsure

“Yeah” she pauses and takes in a deep breath, “Like how we get on so well, and how long we’ve known each other?”

“I mean— I guess so? Why?” He doesn’t want to presume anything about the direction of her train of thought but his heart is absolutely pounding.

“Well, I think what I’m getting at is, why haven’t you done this yet?”

“Done wh—” before he can finish the question her lips are on his. Soft and sweet, and they they taste like red wine, and it’s more perfect than he ever could’ve imagined.

When she pulls back she’s terrified that she’s misread the situation and ruined their friendship forever.

But he’s just staring at her with nothing but pure adoration.

“I didn’t know— I didn’t think— you like me?” He asks, his voice is so soft and sweet.

“I love you Spence” she says it with such conviction and his heart almost bursts in his chest.

“I love you too” he rushes out and then his mouth is on hers again.

This time it’s more feverish, hungry and excited to make up for lost time.

She leans over closer to him and he pulls her tighter against him, placing his hand on the underside of her bare thigh. He can’t believe this is really happening.

Moving against him, her hands splayed out against his chest she pulls back for a moment and looks down at him with half lidded eyes.

“Bedroom?”

[xoxo-teddybear]

He’s Lost - Bakugou Katsuki - Part 2

Bakugou x f!reader

Warnings: angst, slightest fluff, cursing, physical harm mentions, lowkey little yandere obsessive hints, smut, 18+, daddy kink, sad boi Bakugou    :(

BAKUGOU’S MASTERLIST

Summary: Bakugou’s been going through hell ever since the breakup. He’s been so lost without you. But he’s willing to do whatever it takes to win back his Teddy bear. Everything and anything for the love of his life.

*Everyone is of age for legal consent (which is 16 in Japan, if you are uncomfortable with it please move along, thx<3)*

A/N: Bakugou is a little OOC but the main thing in the beginning starts with fixing up Katsuki a little bit. So sorry if you don’t really enjoy it all that much<3

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

Melancholy music bounces off the walls of the dark room. The river of tears that flow down his once perfect porcelain skin is everlasting. As he lays in the soft bed, staring at the ceiling, he thinks about all he could’ve done better for you. In his hand, the same framed picture of you both that he’s held onto every night ever since the horrible incident. Y/N L/N. Like a song that’s stuck on loop. It’s the only thing that runs through his mind.

The door swiftly opens, and much to his disliking, a massive amount of light now enters the former den of manliness pit of depression.

To show his displeasure, Bakugou rolled himself in the blankets, covering his entire body in them and being the picture inside with him as well. With different circumstances, Y/N would’ve thought it was cute or adorable, but it wasn’t Y/N that opened the door.

“Really Bakubro?” The blonde’s best friend spoke.

Eijirou Kirishima. The best friend of our dearest sad boy. He’s been letting his Bakubro crash in his dorm room because Katsuki refuses to clean his own. It looks exactly the same as it did on Valentine’s Day. Just a little different.

Rose petals were dead and dried up on his floors, candles were nearly melted to the bottom as they lay everywhere in the room, the curry was thankfully thrown out by Kirishima claiming that he could smell the spoiled aroma all the way from his room. But the presents, letter, and new gear stayed in the exact same spots. Bakugou didn’t feel worthy enough to be blessed with all the stuff but he was oh so desperate to be worthy. Worthy of your time, your love, and you in general.

Bakugou let out a grumbled whine of displeasure. He could feel the disappointment and concern radiating off his friend. As Katsuki poked just his face out of the covers, he was met with the expression that represented those two things.

“You can’t keep living like this bro,” Kirishima began, “You can’t keep hallowing in sadness in my room. I wanna help you, but you gotta help yourself too. Ever since you and Y/N split-“ Bakugou quickly interrupted.

“We didn’t split, she left me!” The blonde cried.

“...Right, okay. Well ever since Y/N left you, you’re not the same. You stay in here, playing the same damn sad tunes, covering yourself in my blankets, crying all day, and holding onto that picture! You haven’t even been to class or training! Shit man, you don’t even come out of my room to eat food! I gotta bring your plate here just to make sure that you’re properly fed. You’re a mess Bakugou. And not even the hot kind!” His best friend was right. He was a mess. And not even the hot kind.

“Well what the hell am I supposed to do shitty hair?” Bakugou said while dragging the covers over his face once more. Inside the blanket he held onto the picture as if it were actually you.

The fake red head snatched the covers off of his friend’s body and forced him up.

The said friend didn’t take too kindly to that and growled in displeasure.

“What the fuck Kirishima,” Bakugou said, a little to calm and chilling.

“Dont give me that bull Katsuki. You gotta get her back. I would say move on, but it’s clear you can’t.” Kirishima said while rolling his eyes.

Bakugou mirrored the action and said “yea no shit genius. I can’t and won’t move on.”

“So then go get her man!” Kirishima yelled

“And how the fuck am I supposed to do that? Huh?!” Bakugou was so confused. In what way was it going to be possible to win you back?

“Figure it out! Look Bakugou, I’ll be here to help you along the way, but you gotta figure this shit out on your own. This is your relationship here, if you want it as bad as you claim you do then prove it. You want Y/N back? Then fight for her, idiot!” The blonde’s eyes seemed to go wide.

Two words stuck out to Katsuki during his friend’s little speech. Prove it. Fuck yeah he will! He’ll prove to the whole damn universe how much he wants you back. More importantly, he’ll prove it to you and win you back.

The iconic Bakugou smirk reappeared on Katsuki’s face. Kirishima took it as a good sign. “Alright shitty hair, you want me to prove how badly I want Y/N back. FINE!” The two friends pulled the iconic bro hug to seal the deal.

(You know? That shit that guys do where they high five and pull each other in with that one hand for the quickest hug and pat each other on the back? You know what I’m talking about.)

“Welcome back Katsuki.” Kirishima gladly stated. “Now get the fuck out of my room man, I’m sick of sleeping on the common room couches and you reek. Take a shower. And get your own clothes from your own room.”

As Kirishima pushed him out into the hallway and shut the door, it hit Bakugou like a bus. This would be Katsuki’s first challenge. Going back into the room filled with the torn love.

As Katsuki opened the door holding onto the picture, he felt his heart sink. He saw the damage. Melted candles, dried petals, the gifts and letter. Even the nasty smell of the spoiled curry still remained. As Katsuki gathered the courage to walk in and place the picture on the messy nightstand, it’s like the room was holding onto some sad emotions. Heartache and regret filled Katsuki’s chest. He couldn’t believe how fast it happened. He thought he would at least have a minute or two before he felt the pain again. Man, did it hurt like hell.

Katsuki dashed to his closet grabbing the first things he saw. He grabbed his shower container that held all his soaps and cleaning utensils and ran out the room, shutting the door. Once out, he let out a breath of relief.

“...after I clean myself up, the room’s next.” Katsuki said with determination as he walked towards the boy’s community showers and bath house.

When the hot water hit his skin, he felt a sense of calm. It wasn’t the same as the warmth of Kirishima’s blankets. It was better. The water and hot steam completely engulfed him in relaxation. The water washed away not only the dirt and grime, but also some of the tense feelings. For a moment, he felt at ease.

As Katsuki walked out the bathing area now fully clothed and dried, he made his way back to his room. He stood there, staring at the knob until he felt he was ready. Once he opened the door, the emotions hit him once again. Like a wave of sadness washed over his entire body. Finally, he stepped in.

First things first. Open up these windows. Let out that disgusting air filled with spoiled curry and sad emotions. When Katsuki took a breath a fresh air, he felt so alive. Much better than he has in days.

Now, we gotta move stuff. Katsuki picked up his dirty laundry and put it in his closet to wash later. He moved all his presents up off the floor and onto the bed. He swepted all the dead petals and toss them in his trash can. He threw out all the ruined candles and sprayed the room with air fresheners. He fixed up his bed and placed the picture frame back on his now cleaned nightstand. Next to it, a lit candle that smelled of caramel.

Katsuki took a seat at his desk. He was back to thinking about Y/N and all that he could do to win her back. As he checked his clock, he realized just how late it was. Kirishima came back to him at the end of class and training which was around 6. He spent an hour talking to Katsuki, and then Katsuki spent 4 hours cleaning himself and his room. It was 11:00 now. Way past his usual bed time. He’ll figure things out in the morning.

Katsuki smiled to himself as he layed in his own bed. He was finally on the right track again and one step closer to getting his teddy bear back. He turned to the picture frame, and grabbed onto it, hugging it while he slept. Katsuki was getting better but he wasn’t whole again. He needed Y/N to help him sleep alright, so holding the picture at night will have to do. He couldn’t wait till he woke up in the morning. Tomorrow he had school, he’ll get to see Y/N’s beautiful face for the first time in awhile, but before that, you bet your ass he’s waking up extra early to come up with a plan.

——————————————————————————

The next morning

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

The blonde smacked his alarm button before he rose up and stretched his body. Today was the day. He’s gets to see Y/N again. Bakugou just sits in place staring at nothing. Just taking 2 minutes to regain full consciousness. Once he’s set, he’s up and getting ready. It’s 4 in the morning now, so he begins to strategize.

Katsuki is pulling out easels and white boards. Pulling out notebooks and writing down facts. What Y/N is interested in, her favorite hobbies and foods, where she likes to spend her time, what she could need help with that Bakugou could assist her with. He’s also writing down the highlights of their relationship and what she seemed to enjoy best about him. He’ll be keeping that as a reference for when he needs to reassess on how he should treat her better. He will do better this time. That’s a promise to himself and you.

After half an hour of slightly struggling, he reaches out for help. Now at 4:30 a.m, here was the blonde knocking at his best friend’s door.

Rock music is blasting, sweat is flying everywhere and punches are being thrown at a hero. Not just any hero, Crimson Riot! As Kirishima continues to spar with his idol, he’s interrupted by a banging sound.

*BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM* *BOOM*

“The hell?” The younger red head says. Soon his idol began to fade away.

“Crimson Riot! Hey are you okay sir?!” But it was too late, the man was gone. Now the whole room was waving around. Did Kirishima accidentally mistake his giant jug of water for vodka or something? Soon he was left in nothing but a black abyss. And then....he fell!

“Shitty hair.....Ei....KIRISHIMA!”

“AH!” The red head screamed as he shot up from the bed, head-butting his best friend right then and there. Great, a perfect dream. Ruined.

“Ah, shit!” Bakugou said in pain as he held his now throbbing forehead. “What the fuck?”

“That’s my line Bakugou,” the red head sighed, “Did you break into my room? Jeez man, what the fuck? What are you doing here at.....4:38 a.m?!?!? DUDE!”

“I know, my bad okay? But..I could use some help.” Bakugou whispered the last part so Kirishima had no idea what this man just said.

“What bro?” Kirishima asked.

“I said....I could use some help.” The blonde repeated.

“C’mon man, you’re gonna have to speak u-“

“I need your help, alright?!” Bakugou finally said. Kirishima sighed. His bro really couldn’t wait until later?

“Bakugou, you know I’m always down to help you out but this is too early man. Can we just-“ the blonde quickly added on to what he was previously saying.

“Please.”

Kirishima’s eyes shot open after he closed them to drift off back to sleep. Did the Katsuki Bakugou just ask for help by saying please? This must be extremely important.

“......alright. You got me, I’m up. But if I’m gonna be up at 4 in the morning, others are gonna be helping us too.” Kirishima bargained.

“But-“ Kirishima cut him off

“But nothing. Besides, I’m drowsy in the morning so I wouldn’t really focus all that well. And we’re just going to the people we can trust.” The red head explained.

“Fine.” The blonde gave in. So there they went, gathering the other members of the Bakusquad (minus Y/N) to help Bakugou win back his girl.

As the 4 sleepy heads sat down on Bakugou’s floor infront of the whiteboard he wrote on, The blonde began to explain some of his plans.

“So I was thinking of treating her real nice all day until she takes me back and we become friends again, eventually leading to our relationship, but then I realized she’d be into a fake me and we all know I can’t pull the nice guy act forever. Then I thought I’d spoil her with all of the things she desires, but money can’t buy you love. So I thought I could-“ Katsuki quickly noticed the long period of silence other than his voice.

There, were his 4 friends sleeping in a dog pile in the middle of his dorm room floor, completely ignoring everything he’s been saying.

Bakugou sighed and grabbed a small “heroes weekly” issue sitting on his desk, rolled it up, and wacked his friends in their heads.

“You idiots...WAKE THE FUCK UP!” Ahh, welcome back Gremlin Bakugou.

As his friends came back from the dead, they all complained.

“Aww c’mon Bakugou. We’ve been at this for an hour already, it’s 5:40.” Sero said while yawning.

“I don’t care. You idiots offered to help so here you are.” Bakugou said while turning to face the board again.

“We didn’t offer shit!” The bakusquad simultaneously replied.

Mina let out a groan while rubbing her eyes open, “Look Bakugou. We really want you and Y/N to be happy together, we really do, but maybe it’s for the best if you guys don-“ Mina was cut off by Denki slapping his hand over her mouth.

As she looked at her electric friend, she saw a nervous expression on his face. She followed his gaze and saw the back of an angry and almost insane looking and shaking Bakugou.

Hearing Mina say that he should let Y/N go triggered something in his brain. But hearing her say they wanted the couple back together enlightened him too. His mind got the two mixed up.

‘Everyone wants us back together. Not just me. So...then we are back together. Yeah. Y/N is still mine’ the now insane blonde thought to himself.

“....Ok well, time to go, get some sleep, see you idiots in the morning!” Bakugou said while pushing the group out of his room. Once they made it over the threshold, he slammed the door.

With an insane plan in mind, Bakugou checked the time and saw he could take at least a good hour long nap before he had to get ready to leave for school. And that’s exactly what he did. So he jumped into the covers, grabbing onto the picture and drifted off into sleep.

——————————————————————————

*BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *BEEP* *click!*

Bakugou’s alarm rang once more, and again, he slammed it shut. He stretched, got up outta bed and changed into his uniform. That power nap really well rested him, but it also must’ve fucked up his brain even more.

‘And now it’s time to go see my beautiful girlfriend,’ he thought to himself.

After Mina’s comments last night, it hit Bakugou with a great realization. Everyone wanted him and Y/N back together. Not just him. So why not give everybody what they want? Sure maybe Y/N might not completely want it but she’ll learn how to love Bakugou again. Everyone’s happy. And so, Bakugou was convinced that him and Y/N were back together.

At breakfast, Bakugou ran down to already see the Squad up and eating.

“Why the hell do you losers look like death?” He asked while grabbing a cup for his orange juice.

“Well we were all trying to sleep, but after what happened this morning, we couldn’t.” Mina explained.

“What happened this morning? There was nothing big except you guys helping me out.” Kirishima really couldn’t believe it. Had his dear friend not even notice his weird ass trigger moment earlier?

“Alright whatever. Anyway, wheres Y/N?” Bakugou asked after he finished his cup.

“Oh, she just left. She had an early breakfast and went for a quick walk.” Mina said.

“You planning on talking to her today Kacchan?” Denki questioned him.

“You damn Spark Plug, of course I’m gonna talk to my girlfriend today. Fucking idiot.” He said as he grabbed his bag and walked out the kitchen.

“.........Huh?” The entire squad was left in confusion.

‘Had they gotten back together this morning? Did she really accept him back that fast? What the fuck is going on?’ They all thought.

“WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?!?” Kaminari cried out as he pulled at and scruffled his hair in confusion.

Ah Denki. Always saying what everyone is thinking but the only one ballsy enough to idiotically say it aloud.

——————————————————————————

As she walked to class, Y/N hummed a little song to herself. She enjoyed her walk as it helped clear her mind from all the recent events. Her breakup with Bakugou really took a toll on her. They were together for almost 2 years (EVER SINCE JUNIOR HIGH) so of course the split hit her hard. He accused her of cheating and burned her. So much for trust, right? Not only that, but the burn left a tiny scar. Usually, due to you having a regeneration ability as part of your quirk, Phoenix, the scar should’ve healed up. Maybe the emotional damage caused it to permanently mark itself in you. Oh well, whats done is done. And now it’s time for class.

When you walked though the door, you were expecting a normal day. Ever since the split, you usually got their a lot earlier before anyone else so you could sit, do a little reading, sketch out a little drawing, or just rest your eyes until the bell rang. Except this time, when you opened the door, someone jumped on you for a hug.

“Babe! There you are you little dumbass. Jeez, I was looking for you everywhere.” Bakugou said as he let go of the hug. “I’ve missed you, haven’t seen you in a few days.”

“Uhm, you said babe??” You spoke with a confused and shocked voice.

“Yeah, I called you babe? So what? We always call each other that. You are my girlfriend after all.” He said so casually as he walked to his seat.

THISMANSAIDWHAATTT

“Uh, Bakugou-“

“Katsuki.” He deadpanned.

“Bakugou, we broke up.” You stated while walking up to him.

“Mm...no we didn’t.” He once again so casually said.

“Wha- I- we- you-....HUH?!” You stuttered out.

“Y/N-“

“L/N!” You corrected.

“Y/N. We didn’t break up you dummy, we only had a little set back and that’s fine. All couples do. But thankfully you forgave me and we’ve moved past it,” he began as he pulled you into his lap, “besides, everyone wants us back together including us so why not make it easier for everyone.”

You began stuttering out none sense right there on his lap. You were in such shock and utter disbelief that he said all that bullshit. Well maybe he was right about one thing. Everyone did want you guys back together, including you both, but that’s besides the point! Y’all broke up! He needs to accept it.

“Baku- no- I- we-“ and before you knew it, his lips were on yours.

And for some reason, you didn’t push him away. Granted you didn’t accept it either, but you slowly melted into it. The kiss was passionate and slow. It wasn’t sloppy, it was very controlled, but it was just a lotta lip and tongue. The whole thing sent butterflies to your heart and stomach. Oh how you missed moments like these with Katsuki.

He readjusted you on his lap so that you were now straddling him. His hands travelled down to your ass as he gave it a nice squeeze, one that made you moan into the kiss. Your arms went straight to his neck to pull him in for more and he took it as an invitation to start. The kiss began to get a little rougher. More tongue and teeth, both of you extremely desperate for the touch from one another. With your cunt pressed onto his crotch, he slowly thrusted up into you as you grinded down slowly on him. You both started breathing heavier and letting out little whimpers of ecstasy. He could probably feel your now soaked panties. One hand left your ass and came around to the front. He pressed on your soaked pussy through your damp underwear and it caused shutters to go through your entire body.

You began pressing down into his hand, desperate for more friction and Bakugou noticed. He moved your panties to the side and slipped in one finger. This was rewarded with a louder moan that caused Katsuki to smile into the kiss. He knew you and your body so well. He was determined to treat you right and get you to fall for him one more time. As his finger felt around your velvet walls, he slipped in another one, receiving an even louder cry of pleasure. You broke off from the kiss to throw your head back. Katsuki saw this as an opportunity to attack your neck. To mark you up and let everyone know you still belonged to him.

“K-Katsuki. Don’t...don’t stop,” you panted.

“I won’t princess, I’ll take care of you.” He smiled.

Without warning, he shoved in 2 more fingers. You were so loud and Bakugou was so proud. You were gonna let everyone know what’s happening and he was excited.

He lifted his head to whisper into your ear as you continued to moan and sigh.

“Well aren’t you just a little slut. You want everyone to know how well daddy takes care of you? You want them to hear you scream in pleasure?” His words went straight to your cunt that was now welcoming in his 5th and final finger. Completely fisting you now, you let out loud cries.

“S-uki, .....ah, AH YES! Mm, s’too much!” You cried out. You couldn’t help it, you loved him. You knew you did. Even though what he did was wrong, your body took over and your mind turned off. You fully succumbed to his wishes.

You let your feet hit the ground to stand yourself up a little bit and fall down onto his fist, meeting the thrust of his hand moving in and out of you. Watching the show, Katsuki couldn’t help but stare in delight. His hard on growing bigger and bigger each second as he bit his lip to hold back his sounds. Watching you bounce on just his fist did something to him and brought out a feral beast. He snapped.

He pulled his fist out of your aching pussy and sat you down on his desk. He stood up infront of you and tore your delicate panties off.

“Katsuki-“ you were silenced with a smack to your ass

“That’s not my name, teddy bear. C’mon now, you know exactly what I wanna hear.” He said while caressing your thighs.

“..Yes daddy.” You bashfully said.

With a kiss to your cheek he praised you.

“Good girl.” As he began to unbuckle his belt, you looked around the classroom.

“D-daddy. Someone’s gonna see!” You cautiously stated.

Katsuki reassured you with a kiss to your lips, “We’ll be fine princess, I promise,” he said while placing his tip at your entrance. You whimpered at the thought of him inside you again, it’s been so long. You were almost nervous. That is until Katsuki place a finger under your chin so you could face him in his eyes.

“I’m gonna take care of you, so don’t worry.” And with that you slowly nodded. And he finally began to press into you.

With just his tip in, you let out a breathy moan. He was bigger than you remembered. He kept pressing and pressing until he was fully inside your warm and tight hole. You both let out a moan at the feeling of each other.

“Daddy, please move.” And he did as he was told. With a steady pace set, he thrusted himself in and out of you. Both of you moaning louder every second. While you were enveloped in the euphoric feeling, Katsuki was struggling to hold back the beast inside of him. That is until you came up to his ear.

“Fuck me like you mean it, daddy. I won’t break, I promise.” You said in his ear and Katsuki swore he could hear your smirk. Gripping your ass and continuing his pace he spoke.

“Don’t be mad when you can’t walk for the next week,” he smirked. With that, he slammed himself deeper, harder, and faster inside of you. His tip hitting your cervix. You let our screams of pure pleasure and he did the same.

“Oh yesss...shit daddy..so big..”

“F-fuck! Oh you like that? Yeah princess? ...oh shit baby your pussy takes me so well. Y-Yeah, your tight little cunt takes this big cock so fucking well,” he moved faster inside, exploring you completely. His hands went straight to your shirt and and ripped it open. You had a few buttons fly everywhere, but you didn’t care. He pushed your bra up and let one of your mounds fall into his hand. He squeezed it tight to release a generous moan from you. He then dove into the valley of breast to mark your chest. You held onto the back of his head and tugged at his hair and he growled at he feeling, enjoying every second of it.

“Oh yess princess just like that. S-shit. Oh fuck yes...oh you’re mine,” he went deeper inside as he spoke.

“Fuck! Daddy yes! Right t-there! Oh my god..yess,” you cried out.

“Can you feel that. Oh fuck, can you feel my dick in your gut?” He moaned out. Katsuki went to grip the edge of his desk as you kept your hold around his neck, causing him to somehow move faster. He went up to taste your lips once more

“I love you....so much princess...you hear me...Mm, your mine,” he said between kisses and ended with a smack to your now red ass.

His words had you squeezing his cock. He knew what was coming.

“Aww, is princess gonna cum? You gonna cum on daddy’s dick?” He teased.

“Mm...p-please daddy. Please let me cum,” you said while throwing your head back. Katsuki only smirked at this.

“Not yet~” he pulled out of you, leaving you a whiny mess.

“N-no! Daddy please! Please let me finish,” you said while holding onto his shoulders, inches away from his face, pressing your chest to his. Your words caused his “little” friend to grow even harder and Katsuki only smirked and looked down at you.

“Dont worry teddy bear, Daddy’s not done with you yet.” He yanked you off the desk and pressed you down onto it, with your chest to the desk. Then he slammed back into you, returning to the fast pace again.

“Fuck yeah..oh god look at this ass. Nice and round, all red for me,” he said while pounding into you.

He gave your ass a good few smacks, countered with a thrust each harder than the last before going to lay his chest on top of you to whisper in your ear.

“You wanna be a good girl for daddy? Huh, teddy bear?” He asked.

“Mmm, yes! Yes I’ll be good, just please!” You cried out. He reached his hand over to rub on your clit. Your body began to shake with pleasure.

“Then cum with me.....NOW,” he said, and that was all it took for you to release the white liquid. As you came you could feel his hot release filling you up to the brim. He cried out in pure pleasure while you did the same.

You both stayed in that position for a bit, and you could feel the mixture of both your release dripping down your inner thighs. Soon, you felt Katsuki lower himself to kiss your neck.

“You did so good princess.” He calmly said to you. It was relieving, and you loved the sound of his voice, but you couldn’t help but feel a little off at this whole ordeal.

Katsuki pulled out of you and watched how his cum covered and filled your entire pussy. He smiled at the sight and went to grabbed some tissue on Aizawa’s desk to clean you and himself up.

He tucked himself back into his pants and you rebuttoned your shirt the best you could and flipped your skirt back down. Since Katsuki tore your panties you’d have to go commando at least until you got back to your room. You watched as Katsuki went to throw away the tissues and your torn underwear into the trash can. When he made his way back to you, he held you in his arms and attempted to kiss you. But you turned away.

“Hey teddy be-“

“No, Katsuki. Please don’t call me that.” You said while looking down. Katsuki felt his heart hurt a little. You’re always gonna be his teddy bear, why would he ever stop calling you that?

“Y/N, what’s wrong?” He asked you.

“Us. This. Katsuki, what happened today should not have happened.” You said

“What?” He was so confused and a little hurt.

As tears start to fill your eyes, you did everything you could to not let them fall. “Suki, we broke up. You accused me of cheating, you burned me! So for us to come in here and just have sex like nothing happened is wrong.”

“Y/N, I’m sorry for what happened. Seriously, after what I did it destroyed me. But please listen, I lov-“ you cut him off again.

“I know!.....I know you do Katsuki.....and I love you too Suki. So much,” this brought a smile to his face. A true, genuine smile that you loved so dearly.

“But I’m scared.” You added on. This made Katsuki’s smile drop, worry and concern fill his eyes.

“Of what exactly?” He asked you while gently holding onto your hand.

“.....You.” This shocked him. His own teddy bear feared him. Heartbreaking.

“I’m scared of the lack of trust that you have for me. And not only that, but your quirk too. Katsuki I know you’re one of the best students here at UA, but I know you’re emotions can get out of hand too. It’s clear that when you’re not in control of your feelings, your quirk can lash out. The evidence is right here,” you turned you arm that he was holding to show him the scar he left on you.

Now this really hurt Katsuki. He loved marking you with his love, not with his anger. The fact that he did that to you sent his mind into a frenzy. Until he felt your touch on his cheek.

Holding onto his cheek with your soft hands, you spoke reassuring words. “Katsuki, you were right about two things. I do want us to be together again and I do forgive you,” and with that, Katsuki leaned into your touch. Holding onto your hand that held his face, he released a single tear he didn’t know he was holding and closed his eyes in relief and satisfaction.

“But I can’t be with you again.” Your words caused him to open his eyes and stare at you in shock and fear. “At least...not yet.”

Whew, his heart rate went back down. Oh the rollar coaster of emotions this poor boy was currently on.

“Yet?” He asked hopefully.

“Suki, I’m still trying to fix myself, and it’s clear that you need to fix yourself too. I really want to be with you, but we both need time to grow for each other. I can’t leave you. I know for sure that in my heart, you’re always gonna be the one I run back to, but I don’t want to run back to someone who could possibly hurt me again. I want to come back to you knowing that when we are together again, our relationship is secured.” You explained.

A silence filled the air. You both stared at each other for what felt like forever. Nobody else in the world. Just you and him. He then pulled you in for a tight hug. As he held onto you, you could feel hot tears hitting your shoulder, and quiet sobs left his voice along with a hitched breath every now and then. Katsuki was crying.

“....I promise you. I’m gonna get better for you. I’m gonna be worthy of you and your love and it’ll stay that way for the rest of our lives. You and me. Together. Im gonna do whatever it takes to get you back and I won’t stop at anything until you’re mine again. I swear I’ll treat you better than I ever did before. As long as I know that you’re coming back to me and me only, I’ll wait for you for as long as it takes teddy bear.” He said into your neck with his arms tightly wrapped around your waist.

“I know you will Suki. And I promise I won’t make you wait too long.” You said while hugging him back.

“You better not.” The blonde said.

“Don’t forget though, I’m always yours. And just yours.” You reassured him.

“......Can we at least make this a little easier for me and say we didn’t split. We’re just on a break. A small break?” He said, now looking directly in your eyes while still holding onto you.

You put his worries at ease with your gentle smile. “The smallest break, Suki.” You softly laughed as you both went back in for another hug.

“........I like it better when you call me daddy,” the damn devil said while smiling.

“Shut up you horny idiot.” You chuckled.

‘I can’t wait to be yours again,’ you both thought

You both stayed there in each other’s embraces until the world faded away. It was just you and him. Together. You were both no longer lost. You weren’t at your destination yet, but you were on the right tracks. One step closer to each other. One step closer to love.

A/N: There’s still a little more I wanna add to the story, so there will be a part 3 to close this little short story. Sorry if there were any spelling mistakes. Thank you guys so much for the love and support. As a new writer I never expected to grow so quickly so I truly love each and every one of you bear cubs! Sorry this was so long, I hope you enjoyed! 💗🧸

[hesbuckcompton-baby]

I Stayed There - Eugene Sledge x OFC

Chapter 2 - I'll Miss You When You're Dead

Chapter 1 /// Chapter 3 / Chapter 4 / Chapter 5 / Chapter 6 / Chapter 7 / Chapter 8 / Chapter 9

Summary: Anna and Eugene graduate high school. As war rages on in the Pacific, Eugene becomes more and more anxious to enlist.

Warnings: Death, drowning, grief

Word Count: 3k

Tags: @cagzzz107

A/N: Character's names in bold italics indicate a change in POV

-

Anna

Eugene, Mary and I graduated in the spring of 1942. I sat between them at the ceremony, tucked in tightly together, our elbows touching through the cloth of our robes. It was windy that afternoon - I remember because it had blown Mary and I's graduation caps straight off our heads, ruining the curls I had spent two hours trying to perfect earlier that morning. I lost out on being Valedictorian to Grace Andre, and spent the whole time trying to pretend I wasn't bitter.

Eugene

She was so bitter.

Anna

America had already entered the war by then. My brother Bobby had enlisted in the Navy, and Sidney had already joined the Marine Corps, leaving the December just gone. He'd only been sixteen, and I'd absolutely bitten his head off for lying about it on his enlistment forms. Eugene had been proud of him, but all boys were back then, it was just the way it was. They were desperate to fight, each and every one of them - to serve their country, to get some hair on their chest, to impress a pretty girl with their smart green uniform. I never understood the appeal, but I knew how much it meant to Eugene, and I could see how much it was killing him every time his father told him he wasn't fit to go.

I couldn't lie and say I wasn't pleased he wasn't leaving. Every one of my brothers was making plans to enlist, and I wanted to hold onto the one person I thought would stay. The anxiety of the thing ate away at me, every day wondering when one of them would sign up and I'd have to say goodbye to them, possibly forever. It's the kind of anxiety that you carry with you constantly, that you never talk about, that weighs you down and tires you out until you wake up every morning already exhausted without even having to think about it. That was what it felt like back then. No one ever talked about how terrifying it was being the one that stayed home. But we all felt it.

Charlie had been getting our older brothers to buy beer for him since he realised how easily coerced they were, and the habit had rubbed off on me by the time I graduated, dragging John out with my friends and I afterwards so that he could grab us some bottles to drink around the back of the convenience store. Mary and I sat atop our coats on a big metal bin, Eugene perched on a step to my left.

"So..." Mary started. "What do we do now?"

"I'm not gonna stop trying to enlist," Eugene shrugged. "Now that I've got my diploma the guy at the office might actually believe I'm eighteen."

I wasn't sure I wanted to get into my anxieties at that moment, so I kept quiet and sipped my beer.

"I have a cousin in the army, says they're all just running training drills in England, ain't even in Europe yet," Mary said. "Your folks are getting themselves worked up, I'd say. They don't need to be concerned."

"They have every right to be concerned, I'm concerned!" I blurted.

Eugene shrugged. "Well don't be."

"Aw, yeah, that solves it," I snapped, slumping back against the wall of the store, my bottom lip jutted out in a frown as I took a long sip of my beer. I could feel them both staring at me - getting used to rarely being the centre of attention as a child gave me an acute sense for when others' eyes were on me. It wasn't uncomfortable, just... different. "What? Out of the three of us, I'll probably lose the most people that I care about, I'm allowed to be upset... Oh, don't look at me like that. I'm just being realistic."

"Your brothers will be fine, Anna, don't worry," Eugene tried to assure me.

I let out a huff of frustration, sliding off the top of the bin and only pausing when I knocked my bottle from its perch and it shattered on the tarmac, fragments of brown glass spraying outwards in every direction as what was left of the amber liquid pooled pathetically at my feet. The other two had flinched as it hit the ground, but I had watched on with a sort of resignation, irritation making my shoulders hunch as the silence settled again. It was the straw to break the horse's back, and I found myself storming out of the lot despite my friends' protests, my knuckles clenched and my coat stuffed under my arm as I rounded the corner of the building.

It wasn't until I was halfway down the road, veering off the path where the sidewalk stopped when I heard the beating of footsteps jogging up behind me. I knew it was him without even turning my head, but I wasn't interested in talking.

"Go away, Eugene. You finally get your alone time with Mary, isn't that what you've been after the entire time we've been friends?"

"I told her to stay there," He said, his frown practically tingeing his voice.

"I'm surprised she let you tell her to do anything."

He stayed behind me, hovering over my shoulder like a fly I couldn't shake. I veered further from the path, ducking around behind a large gorse bush that acted as a wall between the road and the lake behind it. There was rarely anybody there, despite its close proximity to town, and it was a place my brothers and I had often frequented when I was a little girl - where Richard had taught me to swim when I was three, where John had helped me catch my first fish when I was eight. I could hear Eugene's breathing as he quietly kept my pace, following me without objection until I stopped by the edge of the water.

"What do you want?!" I cried, turning on my heel and causing him to stumble slightly so as not to walk into me. "Can't you see I'm trying to get away from you?!"

"I didn't want you to be alone," He confessed.

"Well, maybe I do! I'd better get used to it, right?"

"Anna, stop it," Eugene frowned. "Stop acting like everyone's gonna die."

My voice fell to a croak, and I spoke with a shrug. "Well, if you don't get your hopes up you can't be disappointed, right?"

He didn't say anything for a moment then. His expression was clouded, indecipherable, and I couldn't tell if he was upset or frustrated or somewhere in between. It's a certain type of fear, the fear that comes when you finally let your emotions spill and you're left waiting for a response, for whoever you opened that dam upon to formulate the words that could either fix you or shatter you completely. But Eugene didn't say anything. I watched his chest rise up and then fall before he brushed past my shoulder, shrugging off his suit jacket and slinging it over his shoulder as he stepped out onto the narrow jetty, walking silently along it to its end.

I turned and watched him, my brow furrowed in confusion. "Eugene?"

Silence hung thick in the air between us, the veil only broken by the unrelenting hum of insects, and the sound of the lake lapping against its shores. I watched him stand there for a moment, watched his shoulders rise and fall with another deep breath, and then he dropped his suit jacket onto the ground in a heap, took one step forward, and plunged straight into the murky water, best suit and all.

"Eugene!" I shrieked, discarding my coat in the dirt and barreling forward to the edge of the jetty, standing next to his crumpled jacket as I looked down into the lake. He resurfaced only seconds later, his wet fringe plastered to his forehead, a smug grin covering his face.

"What the hell was that?! Asshole!" I scolded and chided him over and over, but he just bobbed up and down in the green water, looking oh-so pleased with himself. Finally, I ran out of breath, and when I noticed he was still smiling, my posture straightened. "What?"

"I knew you didn't wanna be on your own," He said smugly.

I scoffed, spluttering. "What?! There's a difference between wanting to be alone and wanting you to drown yourself in a goddamn lake!"

Eugene let out a breathy chuckle. "Hey Anna, you can swim, right?"

"Hm?" I barely had time to process his question before he grabbed my leg and pulled, and I felt myself falling before plunging into the freezing water, his firm grip on me the only thing keeping me from sinking like a stone out of pure shock.

When I resurfaced I gasped for air, feeling it fill my lungs so fast that it almost stung. His arm was around my back, holding me against his chest as we both bobbed up and down on the surface, my bright yellow dress tinged green with the water. Eugene raised his other hand, his wet palm swiping across my forehead as he tugged the dripping strands of hair from my eyes. I was so angry that I couldn't even yell at him, just twist in his grip and pull off my shoes, throwing them pointedly onto the dock so that I wouldn't lose them in the deep.

I had a grip on his arm, my fingers digging harshly into his flesh through the soaked fabric of his sleeve, and I could do nothing but furiously huff and puff for a minute before finally getting a hold of myself. Letting out a cry of indignation, I shoved his chest, a shriek escaping my throat as he fell backwards and pulled me forwards in turn, and the two of us would've sunk had I not hastily pulled him back upright, torn between regretting my outburst and wanting to drown him with my own two hands.

"If I don't get to it first, my Ma is gonna kill you," I said, breaking away from him and paddling limply back towards the shore.

"This shirt's expensive, my Ma will do it for her."

"Well, maybe you should've thought about that," Trying to shake the water out of my skirt, I scolded him as I retrieved my shoes, a shiver travelling up my spine and my sodden stockings squelching as I slipped them on.

My footsteps were loud and wet as I trudged home, Eugene visibly shivering beside me, his suit jacket strewn over my shoulders the only dry piece of clothing between us. Occasionally one of us would catch the other's gaze, and we'd snort out a giggle, both equally aware of the sorry sight we made as we trailed dirty pond water all the way home. He walked me up to my porch, and my mother had gasped as I'd hurried in, bolting up the stairs and straight into the bathroom to stip myself off and finally warm the chill that was settling in my bones.

I ran a hot bath and sat in it until it went cool again, until the pads of my fingers started to prune and I felt cleansed of the dirty water. It was only when I wrapped myself up in a bathrobe that I started to miss the feeling of the sopping fabric against my skin, how I could feel the creases where Eugene's arm had wrapped around me even after he'd pulled away. His blazer was crumpled in a heap on the tiled floor, and I realised I'd forgotten to give it back to him.

And then I looked in the mirror, and I realised I hadn't thought a thing about the war since the moment he had stepped off the jetty. And I stared back at myself with a grin and the feeling of only just realising I'd been outsmarted.

"Damn you, Sledge," I chuckled to myself.

-

Eugene

It started to get colder a little earlier than usual that year, and as I wandered over to Anna's house one afternoon in mid-November, my scarf peeked out of the top of my coat, shielding me against the bracing air. Ever since Sidney left for the marines, I found myself showing up at her front door more and more, knocking on her bedroom window as if I were thirteen again. I had other friends, other boys from school, but it wasn't their fault that they just weren't as interesting as her.

I was already smiling before I even made it up the driveway, but before I could reach the porch, the front door swung open. As soon as I saw that familiar face that I knew so well, I knew something was wrong. So very, horribly wrong.

Anna was frozen just in front of the doorway, her shoulders stiff, her arms rigid at her sides and her knuckles white and clenched. I could tell she had put makeup on that morning from the way it was now streaking down her cheeks, tearstains leaving trails of eyeliner across her skin, her eyes red, her lip trembling.

"Hey, hey," I spoke, trying to sound calm as I cautiously approached. Her eyes wouldn't meet mine, and she stood frozen for a moment before launching herself into my chest, letting out a sob so forceful it sounded painful.

I don't know if or what she said to me really, because the moment the words "Bobby's dead" left her mouth my ears started ringing, and they didn't stop until long after I'd been herded into the March family's dining room.

Mrs March was sitting in the living room looking comatose, staring blankly at the floral wallpaper, her hands folded and trembling in her lap. When Anna finally stopped weeping, she slumped back in her seat, the red puffed skin around her eyes eventually softening and turning into dark, exhausted bags. She had the same vacant expression as her mother, and more than anything I longed for the words to make her smile.

Charlie let me read the letter they'd received. Bobby's ship has gone down, and he'd drowned off the coast of Guadalcanal. As my gaze travelled across the page, all I could picture was him sinking further and further into the depths, the way it had been when I'd stepped off the jetty into the lake, except infinitely more terrifying. I tried to imagine what it must have felt like when the salty water had begun to fill his lungs, but all I could feel was the hollow ache in my own chest.

I didn't want to stay there in that house after that, but it felt so wrong to leave. I traipsed the place in silence for almost an hour like a lone mourner in a solitary funeral procession, taking special care to avoid the living room so as not to disturb Mrs March. When I looped through the dining room on what must have been my fifth lap of the bottom floor, Anna spoke for the first time since she'd broken the news, her voice coming out in a strained rasp.

"You're still gonna sign up, aren't you?"

My pacing stopped, and I stood in the doorway for a moment, brow furrowed in thought. But there was nothing to think about, really. "Yeah. I am."

She nodded slightly. There was no disappointed sigh, no frown of concern, just the same blank expression she'd held since she sat down. It unsettled me.

"I'll miss you when you're dead," She stated. The way she'd said it sounded so final, I couldn't think of a single word to reply. So I went home.

-

I left a month later, a little while before Christmas. My mother had wept as I said goodbye, and although he tried to hide it, I could tell my father was trying not to cry too. I didn't expect Anna to say goodbye, knowing how unhappy she was about my decision. Richard and John had both left by then too, and she was stuck at home with just her mother and Charlie, who was planning to enlist after the holidays. I'd waited by my front door for almost an hour that morning in case she dropped by to see me off, but when she didn't I wasn't surprised.

It wasn't until I left the house - dressed in my uniform, my suitcase under my arm - that I saw her standing down at the end of the drive. She hadn't noticed me, but I could tell from the way her arms were wrapped tightly around herself, from the way she was pacing back and forth with her head down, that she was still unsure whether she was going to come and see me at all. But when she looked up and noticed me, I could see the relief in her expression.

Anna strode towards me as she flashed a mournful smile, not uttering a single word before she threw her arms around my neck and pulled me forwards into a hug. I let my suitcase land on the gravel drive and I hugged her back, the fur collar of her new winter coat tickling my chin.

"You stay safe," She said, her voice cracking slightly. "If you don't come back, I swear I'll kill you,"

I let out a chuckle, feeling my eyes well up with tears I absolutely refused to shed. "Yes ma'am," I wouldn't cry, not in front of her.

Anna pulled back, smiling at me before reaching up and fixing a crease in my shirt collar. Her hand went into her pocket and she pulled out a photograph, tucking it into my breast pocket before I could get a look at it. She took a long, deep breath, and we stood in silence for a moment before she punched my shoulder in the way she used to when she teased me at thirteen. "See ya 'round, Sledge," She grinned, her eyes refusing to meet mine.

My mouth bent into a half-smile. "Not if I see you first."

[6okuto]

— m3 found family moments

delivery for. . . @soupieluvs !

this was vry cute to think about thank u for the idea/req ^______^ if anything goes against canon it's because ^__^ I haven't touched LL in over a month and fictif is not currently installed on my phone ^__^ pls forgive me..plea

thinking about the first few group meetings with the m3 and how they didn't really know each other as well as they do now. how they gradually figured out each other's habits and mannerisms through many, Many weeks of training and learning

felix and anisa bringing sage back when he's spent a little too long at the tavern. the way he's a little louder or a little closer than usual and they both roll their eyes a little but smile as he tries to crack a joke or says something weirdly sappy. he might forget in the morning but they never do — even when he manages to really annoy them.

i don't doubt for a second they've stayed up together a bunch of times just... talking. about their pasts together or apart, what crazy thing happened last week, etc etc. and maybe they didn't stay up with this as the goal but man it's late and they're tired of working/reading and hey, wasn't it funny when that guy ran into the wall the other day?

sage and anisa Younger Sibling'ing felix. sage tells asks felix to do something and does the "i'm older than you, don't you know you should respect your elders" thing on him. felix says "so you are old, then?" he still probably goes and grabs what was asked but he makes sure to watch sage's processing "Wait." face before walking away

they so very rarely do chores together like grocery shopping. smth smth it can get loud and Disruptive for other people who complain or stare. sometimes though, it works out when they all know they have to stay (semi) focused/be fast and suddenly they all know each other's eating habits and what they're missing and being coordinated

shakes you around and makes you stare into my eyes. sage or anisa asking the other for help with their hair. i don't know what products sage uses he feels a litte 3-in-1 shampoo but his hair is so nice? why? anisa must know.

little moments like anisa going "have either of you seen my purse?" and sage and felix both asking "have you checked your pockets?" without blinking. or one of them making sure there aren't cucumbers in sage's food (unless it's for a prank). or felix finding a new book he's wanted on his desk with a little thank you note for his help on the last mission

or like,, the way they'd process the fact they even know those things. they say stuff like "we can't get that, felix doesn't like the texture" or "anisa wanted to try this, didn't she?" or "this is sage's favourite beer, not that one." and then they take a second to think about how much they know about the others. and it's like...wow ok.

the pranks...the silly scares and whatever else. jumping from behind a corner, throwing things across the room, ruining sage's current flirting mission by embarrassing him, drawing on each other's faces, impersonating each other during a game of charades, yelling and waking each other up for a job that is Definitely happening and Not Fake, How did you forget this was happening???

birthdays... :( little cakes and a little singing. little personal gifts and doing whatever the birthday person wants — maybe not easily or without a few pranks beforehand but hey,, what's family for. it's so important because there's no one else around to celebrate with and wow we really have and take care of each other and save each other's lives and orz

they know the signs of each other being upset and make sure to check in on them, reminding the person in question that hey,, we may not always get along and i know you're having a tough time,, but you aren't alone. and we care about you after all of it. we know you're not taking care of yourself please take this food it's your favourite

these three may not be super into hugs,, especially with each other but. maybe after a big win and celebration they wouldn't completely hate a group hug — you might even find them laughing and smiling at it. will they bring it up later? i wouldn't bet on it really but it's a bit of a core memory the first time it happens