#and then saturday morning i have to wake up at 7am and go volunteer (which like. it's at an animal shelter so. woohoo but still)

[alxclaremont]

i’m so tired. i have quite literally a million things to do tomorrow and this weekend. all i want to do is go to bed but my suitemates insist on being the nosiest people in the entire world.

[shadowmcfly]

Calgary Expo

I cannot even BEGIN to process all that happened on this adventure. This will be a long post!

I made new friends from Canada and Australia! I was very thankful to be included in a wonderful dinner with the local DeLorean club, where everyone was so warm and welcoming.

Canadian hospitality is real, and the kindness I was shown meant so much to me. This was my first time out of the US and using my brand new passport, and I know for sure it will not be my last.

I cannot even begin to express my love and gratitude to Oliver and Terry for all that they've done for me, and continue to do. It's hard to explain, but some human beings are just... special. And these two are like Walt Disney magic. And sometimes, if you're lucky, that magic will touch your life. So much that happened was a beautiful byproduct of that magic.

My trip started off extremely rocky, with waking up to my 3:30am alarm to see my flight was canceled. I panicked and got on the phone with the airline. If I wanted to get into Calgary that day before 11pm, I had to leave NOW to catch a 6am flight. An hour earlier than my 7am original flight.

I somehow made it. And when I checked in saw the airline put me in first class for the inconvenience. Now that's a way to fly into Canada for the first time! This was my first weird divine streak of luck that would carry throughout the trip. Little did I know.

I went straight from the airport, luggage and all, to the Calgary Stampede where the con was being held to meet Oliver and Terry at the booth. From there we decided to visit the Calgary Tower which was right across the street from the hotel.

We had an INCREDIBLE and tasty dinner at the top of the tower, where the floor slowly rotates so you can see the whole city. From there we went up to the top of the tower. I stepped on the glass floor which was SCARY, but pretty damn cool.

I've been to quite a few cons, but it was a first to see a casino right next to the event center!

The DeLorean was located right between the Celebrity Autograph area and the Photo Op area, so I sure didn't have to go far to get both of mine done! That was pretty cool.

The first day I got to meet James Tolken (who came by the booth), who played Strickland in BTTF, and is also well known for his work in Top Gun. He is such a delight, and a very sweet person. He proudly sported a Flux Capacitor pin from the booth during the big BTTF panel on Friday night.

Friday morning was the Parade of Wonders, and as we pulled up in the DeLorean I was told that both Christopher Lloyd and Lea Thompson were riding right in front of us in the parade. OH OK?!?!?! NO BIG????? I had a lot of fun posing for photos with the car, and chatting with people. If you're wondering, when Chris and Lea arrived later on I did not approach. I was there representing Team Fox, and I wanted to remain professional and courteous. My time with them would come later, and it was very cool to watch them arrive and be so close to that. Lea loves doing Instagram stories, and I was thrilled to find out I ended up being a part of them from the parade! When I saw she was taking video I enthusiastically waved at her and got acknowledge with a "Hi!!!!!!".

The parade was beautiful, and I had so much fun getting to be a part of it. We ended up on the news, photos on news websites, and Troy was gracious enough to bring me a copy of the newspaper we were in, which I brought back with me. The route through downtown Calgary was beautiful, and what a way to see it!!!! So many people came out to both participate in it and watch it! Truly unforgettable.

The big BTTF panel on Friday night was absolutely fantastic. Michael walked out on stage and I got choked up at how grateful I was to be seeing this and watching this cast come together. Tom Wilson was so incredibly hilarious and personable, and guided the panel amazingly. He's very good at that, and offered some really insightful answers to questions these guys hear all the time. It was special to hear Tom talk about how he was bullied in school, and hearing him talk about how he had to search deep to be able to play the other side of that line. Christopher Lloyd was hilarious in how utterly over it he was with some of the questions. He's happy to let the others take over, and watching him and Tom is a gift.

Each one of them did their favorite line/lines from the movie, and hearing Michael do Marty quotes made my life. He's just as smart and witty as ever. Truly.

Michael: "Ok, you're playing this slacker kid who loves to play guitar and wants to take his girlfriend alone up to the lake. And I was all, ok I got this!"

Friday was a great day raising funds at the booth, and little did I know what exactly was going to happen Saturday.

The first thing that happened that day that led to something amazing was that I missed Michael's first autograph session. I walked up with my two tickets I had gotten taken care of in ADVANCE, and was told to come back at 4.

I was pissed but let it go, because then I could go ahead with my plan of one of those autographs being on our new photo together. I was hoping I could get my behind the scenes photo signed at the earlier time, then go back again for my 2nd. I wanted a few more seconds during that autograph time to connect that first time vs the rush and go of the photo ops.

That was the first divine thing that happened that lead to the vest. Getting turned away from that earlier time.

Even though I met Michael in 2016, I was in line for our photo trying to shake off the nervousness I felt. One of the staff members looks at me and says, "YOU have to wait in line?". I laugh and say yes. When it was my time, Michael looked at me very warmly and I think my eyes were wide as saucers.

I ask him if I can put my arm on his shoulder and he's ok with it.

"Let's do one of these." He says, and quickly makes the watch gesture I know all too well.

Oh yeah. Let's go. I've waited years for this.

Click.

I spend so much of my time making that shocked expression, but I couldn't do it for probably the first time ever. I was too happy. I smiled and beamed like the happy fool I was. Looking back, I kinda wish I did it, because that would have been hilarious. But I let the Master take the reigns. I thanked him and left, eyes wide and whispering, "Holy shit." under my breath over and over.

My duo photo op with Michael and Chris was about 40min later, so I queued back up in line.

When my time came I took a moment to be completely and utterly star struck by looking at Marty and Doc here in front of me. What even IS that??? How can you process that???

Michael warmly regards me.

"Hi again!" He says.

"Hi Michael, hi Chris!!!".

I ask Chris if I can put my arm around him, and he says I can. Michael looks at me talking to Chris in that moment.

Click.

I thank them and go whooping all the way to pick up my printed photo.

I go back to help at the booth until that 4pm autograph time.

The line is like being packed into a can of sardines, and the staff member laughs and remarks that I'm number 100 in line.

There is a strict NO PHOTO policy. You can't take a photo of Michael signing.

I have two photos for Michael to sign: our brand new photo together and a rare behind the scenes photo that I loved so much when I saw it, I asked my friend if I could get it printed and signed on the promise I wouldn't post it to social media, ect.

My time comes. One of Michael's handlers sees the behind the scenes photo.

"I've never seen that one before."

And takes a photo of Michael signing it. The second divine thing that happens.

I panic, but turn my attention to Michael quickly because I've got a few seconds. Go.

He's signing and as he is, I say:

"Hi Michael. I just wanted to say that it's an absolute honor using this costume to volunteer for your Foundation."

Michael looks at me.

"Thank you. I certainly appreciate that."

I thank him and leave, slipping back into the booth.

But the photo.

Would it have been the worst thing ever if it got posted somehow? Probably not. But I can't shake it.

I tell Terry what happened.

She walks me over, warmly greets everyone, and explains the situation. The photo is deleted, and as we're here getting this sorted, Michael is... there.

He's right there.

The line is gone. The only people there are the handlers, staff, and Terry and I.

Somehow... Michael was still there even though the line was gone.

Michael looks at me. Bright blue eyes. Recognizes me.

He's sitting but puts his hands on the table and stands.

"Your jacket."

"Wh.... what??"

"Your jacket... your vest. I wanna sign your vest."

"Wh....???" My eyes WIDE.

I take it off, it's laying front side up in front of him on the table.

I see he's going to sign the front and I remember I can form words if I try.

"Oh... oh uhhhhh Michael? I'm so so sorry but uh, could you sign the inside??? I use this a lot for charity work."

Oh my GOD. Who the hell do I think I am?!?!?! I panicked because I needed to keep using that vest.

I squeak out my name, when he asks, I think Terry echos me because she's much more composed and professional than I am right now.

With an elegant swoop of a black sharpie, he signs the vest. Right side on the inside.

I think I squeaked out a thank you or was just mute by that point, I don't remember.

Michael disappears and the most shell-shocked I've ever been, look at the vest.

It has my name on it.

He signed my name.

"Shannon

Love,

Michael J. Fox"

I lose it. I somehow make it back to the booth and call my mom. Crying and squeaking.

It sounds like she might be crying too.

It snowed. A lot. We walk out of the con center into a blizzard. Honest to god. That was a first.

Our friends graciously give us a ride to the dinner we're all going to with the local DeLorean club members as well as other DeLorean owners. A truly great group.

I'm told I must try something called "poutine". Never heard of it. It's french fries, gravy, and curd cheese. It's really good.

I'm pretty sure this was fit in at some point Saturday. When Chris came in the booth for his photo op session, I was able to briefly thank him for being here. I kneeled down, and shook his hand. But.. I didn't want to let go.

"Chris, could we hold hands for our photo?"

"Yes, absolutely."

He is so wonderful and special. He regarded me with nothing but warmth in our moment.

On Sunday for Lea Thompson's photo session at the car I did a brief TSA as we call it: handling bags and making sure they get back to their owners. As she was walking out of the booth I told her thank you, and got a, "You're welcome sweetie!" in return.

I'll tell you what guys, I couldn't shut my brain off Saturday night. I couldn't sleep for the best reasons possible. Which was a very welcome change for once.

I helped tear down the booth as normal on Sunday, and that was it.

This trip was magic.

[phatjosh180]

A time to stop and a time to not start ...

As I am writing this, I am laying what very much feels like my deathbed. No, I’m not dying — but, I might as well be. This past weekend was very difficult for me. What started as a promising running adventure out on the Salt Flats and at Thanksgiving Point — turned into something entirely different.

I started the weekend with a mini-road trip to Wendover for the Salt Flats 50K. After a poorly chosen motel — you can see the video here — I was going to run the on Friday, drive home that afternoon after my run, recoup a bit and then run the Tulip Festival Half at Thanksgiving Point on Saturday morning.

Sure, it was a lot of running, but something it was something I felt I was prepared to do with the recent ultras I’ve done in the past six months. I was figuring the 50K would take me about 10 hours and the half probably 3ish hours because of fatigue. All pretty manageable and a challenge I was looking forward to tackling.

On Friday morning when I woke up and got ready for my race I didn’t feel anything amiss. It was a pretty standard race morning. Granted, I didn’t get much sleep the night before, but nothing unusually bad compared to other races. I was ready to run — so I went about my ritual of packing my pack, reassuring I had enough fuel and fueling myself with my standard sweet potato, banana and oatmeal.

After making the trek to the starting line at the Bonneville Speedway I started getting excited for my run. I knew it was going to be difficult — ultras always are — but, I was wanting this challenge and I was just eager to get out and run. After double and triple checking my pack again — I was ready and the gun sounded at 7am.

We were off — not just the 50Kers, but the 50 and 100 milers as well.

A post shared by (phat) josh (@fight4phat) on Apr 28, 2017 at 5:19am PDT

Since the usual course out on the salt flats was washed over from the rain gathered the previous week, an alternate trail route was marked. So, after a few miles on the causeway we landed on the dirt trails which was a pretty simple out and back course for the 50K.

There were two aid stations for us, one at Mile 11 and another at Mile 16 — which was the turnaround. For a half marathon or marathon the numbers of stations and distance between them would be an issue. But, I carried enough fuel with me that I didn’t worry about it. I hardly do during ultras — especially when you consider you’re going to always get a feast of some sort at every station.

Once I got onto the trails, the crowd had thinned out and a just a few of us 50Kers remained. The scenery was beautiful and I didn’t mind not running on the salt flats — I was just happy being where I was. I just enjoyed the moment.

Around mile 5-6 or so I ran into Coach Blu and a few of the AIIA team members who driving out to an aid station they were volunteering at for the 50 milers. It was really nice seeing them and it really gave me a boost in my spirits, because I think so much of Coach and the team.

But, it wasn’t much later when they left that my whole race kind of went downhill.

The wind throughout the race was pretty horrendous — as it always is out there. But, there were some patches where it was hard for me to get a good rhythm because it felt like I was getting bombarded by wind from every direction. It was a headwind, then a tailwind, then a headwind and then both.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 28, 2017 at 5:48am PDT

By about Mile 7-8 I started feeling pretty nausea — I was thinking it was just motion sickness from the wind. But, by Mile 10ish the nausea got bad enough that I ended up throwing.

Thinking it was just the nausea I just forged forward sipping on my water and nibbling on a banana trying to replenish my electrolytes that I just lost. But, that didn’t help. And, I ended up throwing that up not just later.

The idea of dropping the race was now being entertain, but I couldn’t do it. I just couldn’t. I had never DNF’d before and there is pride in that So, I started playing mind games with see if changing my attitude would help improve my race. So, I was extra enthusiastic when other runners passed me, I turned on some music to distract me and I even tried imagine the narrative of how this race was going to triumphantly play out for me.

By the time I got to the first aid station I felt better — and had a cup of Ginger Ale to help calm my stomach, which still had some lingering effects of the nausea. After munching on some popcorn and another banana, I felt good to go. And, set forward once again.

And, once again — the nausea came back.

And, once again — I threw up.

A post shared by (phat) josh (@fight4phat) on Apr 29, 2017 at 3:17pm PDT

At this point I was pretty discouraged, because I knew I was probably going to have to pull myself off the course. At Mile 14 the race director even pulled up beside me to ask how I was doing. I lied — I said I was fine. I couldn’t make that decision yet. I still had hope that everything was going to change and I would feel better. But, that feeling never came.

So I focused on just getting to the next aid station. It was a couple miles away and also served as the turnaround point for the 50K, I figured 16 miles was pretty good considering the circumstances. So that was my focus. And, I felt that if I was going to pull myself off the course it would be there that I could make the decision.

By the time I got to the aid station I was done. Completely done. I was feeling pretty weak from feeling depleted thanks to my queazy stomach, so I made a beeline to a camping chair as the volunteers offered me food and fuel my body was quite ready to accept. I just sat down and said I was done and to just give me a minute.

After a few minutes the amazing volunteers got some Ginger Ale and half an orange down me. I contemplated a banana, but I felt the half orange was a more than enough on a stomach that absolutely hated me. I just felt like garbage. So I kept on trying to keep liquids down me because I didn’t want to absolutely dehydrate myself or get my electrolytes too low.

After sitting at the aid station for about a half hour the call to the start line was made that I pulled myself from the race. It was kind of a bittersweet moment. But, at the same time the feeling of lost pride was lost in the feeling that I didn’t care, because I felt like I was going to die. I knew I made the right decision.

Instead of being simply taken back to the starting line I requested if I could go to the next aid station at Mile 22 where Coach Blu and the AIIA were located. They were going to be out there — at what I thought — until 3pm. It turned out to be closer to 1pm. But, in that moment I just kind of wanted to be among familiar faces. So one of the volunteers took me to the aid station.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 28, 2017 at 11:40am PDT

I wasn’t there long until they were packing up, but I was grateful for the time I had with the team. Coach gave me some Alka Seltzer for my stomach — and again some Ginger Ale. This seemed to help some and made the 22 mile ride back to the starting line manageable. It was nice being able to talk to him along with Jim about my DNF, because it put a lot of things into perspective for me. This just solidified that I made the right decision.

It was hard for me to dwell on the DNF as well, because I got word shortly after I got reception that my sister gave birth to her little girl, Eliza. This really helped me to further put this experience in perspective. I was so happy for Jessie and Scott, because Eliza was truly a blessing and miracle for them. They waited nearly 5 years for this addition.

After getting to my car and everything processing happening to me, I hopped in my car, gassed up and after making a short race recap video — headed home. I still felt optimistic about running in the morning. I felt that some rest, replenished liquids and adherence to the B.R.A.T. diet would allow that to happen.

Half way through my trip my Mom asked me to stop at the store to get some lettuce for her. Which wasn’t a big deal for me since the store is right down the street from me. I was feeling okay — sore and not too queazy. But, once I got to the store and went to get out of the car — I just couldn’t do it. I tried standing up, but felt like I was going to pass out.

I knew I needed to get some more liquids and calories in me — and not wanting to go back home empty handed I resolved to go get the lettuce along with some food for me. So after sitting in the car for more than a half hour I mustered the strength to walk into the store. I got a cart — not because I needed it for the food, but to just keep me upright.

I made a beeline to the lettuce and then got some bananas, a couple of Powerade, a bowl of cut melon and a bag of ice (to ice my sore legs and ankle). Once I got home I quickly got my stuff out of the car, gave my mom her lettuce and raced to the bathroom so I could take a shower and ice my legs before hitting my bed and refueling.

A post shared by (phat) josh (@fight4phat) on Apr 29, 2017 at 3:49pm PDT

But, it never happened quite that way. As soon as I got to the restroom I felt completely weak and it took everything in me to just shower. Any attempt to ice my legs and ankle were moot — because the focus now was to just shower, get in bed and eat something.

I never felt so ill in my life. I tried to shower and get dressed quickly, but without rushing too hard that I’d pass out. I really felt like I was going to die. Once I stumbled into bed, I drank half a Powerade, some melon and half a banana and before I knew it I was out. I didn’t wake up for about three hours. I was gone — I didn’t even move.

When I woke up I still felt extremely sick, but kept forcing liquids down. I was fevering over 101 as well. So I knew I needed to stay hydrated and fueled. I tried some melon and the other half of the banana, but that didn’t happen. So I just laid in bed for a couple more hours awake — but going nowhere.

I knew by now that I wasn’t going to be running in the morning. So I made the decision to DNS the Tulip Festival Half. Another decision that was difficult to make, but in the moment — the right one. I was bummed.

I tried getting up and watching some of the Jazz, but that didn’t work so well. After eating more of my melon bowl my stomach decided to reject that — and I threw up again. So, I stuck with liquids the rest of the night.

Even on Saturday my stomach wasn’t having anything to do with overly solid foods. I mustered down some broth, applesauce, bananas and lots of Powerade. But, my attempts at a fairly simple salad was meant with another upheaval of my stomach.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 28, 2017 at 11:53am PDT

At this point I was pretty sure that I was dealing with the flu and not just wind-induced nausea. And, that’s been the case this whole weekend. I just can’t hold anything down and I am just weaker than weak. My fever broke some, but it’s still slightly above average. Needless to say I feel like pooh.

I’m still processing this weekend, especially the DNF. And, I’ve been told by many runners that I’ll learn more from my DNF than from any other race — 5K to ultra. So I am taking that to heart and reassessing everything. I might cut back on some of my races this year — and as much as I want to hit the 180 race goal by next July — maybe I need to rethink that?

I feel that I am beyond seeing value in the quantity of races. 180 is just a number — and running is much more to me than that. That’s why my approach has been to quickly get it done with so I can move on. Maybe I need to prolong it and focus on the other goals sooner than later?

Anyways — I am sure I’ll be making some changes to my race schedule, especially within the next month. So, on races with a transfer policy I might just sell my bib to someone else? But, that’s all something I need to need decide on with a sound mind and careful reflection.

There is much more to life than just running — and racing. The addition of my niece is a great reminder of that belief. What’s a DNF and DNS compared to that? Nothing. Really, absolutely, nothing.

I’ll keep you posted on my progress. I’m still planning on running the Provo City Half this weekend. I am actually sweeping it with my friend Tricia and her daughter. I am really, really, really excited about that — and then I don’t have another race until Ogden. Lots of positives on the horizon, but a lot to reassess as well.

MY NEXT SIX RACES

You know what kind of room $36 will get you in Wendover? A room with a dirty broken whirl pool and a stench that’ll offend your mother’s sensibilities. Shoulda spent the extra $4 to stay at Motel 6. When Motel 6 is the better option you know this was a horribly bad decision.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 27, 2017 at 8:36pm PDT

Made a friend tonight. But, things got awkward rather quickly when he wanted to share a bed. I declined his advances … and one thing led to another … so now he’s dead.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 27, 2017 at 10:39pm PDT

Uncle x 6! Little Eliza was born this morning during my run. I didn’t have time to dwell on my DNF because as soon as I turned on my phone 💥BAM💥 Picture overload of the new addition. I’m so happy and excited for Jess & Scott. They’ve been waiting years for this moment.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 28, 2017 at 5:13pm PDT

What was thought as motion sickness, I’m sure is the flu. Ugh. Lots of fluids. Lots of applesauce. Lots of apple juice. Lots of Netflix. Just hoping I can start keeping food other than applesauce down.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 29, 2017 at 3:55pm PDT

I’m not going to be dateless for quite awhile. Quite awhile.

A post shared by 🔼That’s me. (@josherwalla) on Apr 27, 2017 at 11:30am PDT

Weekly Miles

Running Miles — 10.0 miles Race Miles — 16.0 miles Walking Miles — 20.12 miles TOTAL MILES — 46.12 miles Race(s) this week — Salt Flats (DNF) and Tulip Festival Half (DNS)

April 2017 Miles

Running Miles — 23.5 miles Race Miles — 55.3 miles Walking Miles — 94.95 miles TOTAL MILES — 173.75 miles Races in April — Emigration Canyon Half Marathon, Riverton Half, Saltair Half, Salt Flats 50K (DNF) and Tulip Festival (DNS). 

2017 Miles

Running Miles — 205.25 miles Race Miles — 151.42 miles Walking Miles — 420.41 miles TOTAL MILES — 777.08 miles Races done in 2017 — New Year’s Half Marathon, Sweethearts 5K, Jackpot Running Festival, SL Tri Club Indoor Half, March Madness Half, Lucky 13 Half Marathon, Emigration Canyon Half Marathon, Riverton Half and Saltair Half.

A time to stop and a time to not start … was originally published on PhatJosh | My Life Running.