#and then said 'oh btw tesilid also got captured and during that round he really contemplated suicide & waited for death for seemingly ages'

[microwaving-tesilid-argente]

actually i'm going to make a whole post about this. Tesilid's relationship to his beauty is so. it's very similar to what it would be for a beautiful woman in a historical fantasy story.

It's a tool that he can use to get others to listen, especially if he just uses his well-practised gentleman smile on them. The way he got access to Cardinal Cartelyena's quarters just by smiling and saying pretty please. The way he makes people convert religions just by throwing a glance their way. He could make for a very good espoinage spy if he weren't so recognisable, because people see his face and clamour to please him. He could very much seduce anyone he wants. It brings to mind female characters (and historical figures) who have been sent to seduce important figures with their 'feminine wiles'.

But his beauty is also something that gives him a lot of trouble and trauma; it's something he's targetted and punished for even though he never asked for that face. Harpy Queen. That Snow Princess demon with the mirror shards. The crazy Magic Republic (i think) Queen who imprisoned him in another timeline. All that happened to him is blamed on his beauty, and not on the peverse natures and intents of those that capture him. The recent chapter 157 has this throwaway line that also reinforces this: the Mirror Princess demon notices the succubus about to break their self-restraint and try to claim him, so she restrains them (because she wants to court him herself).

What's also really terrible about this situation is that Tesilid no longer blinks at such unwanted attention. He doesn't defend himself, he just rolls with it and thinks about how to come out the other side least scathed. So he asks the Harpy Queen if she's monogamous (while having been her victim in a past life he cannot forget). He doesn't try to avoid the Snow Queen's kiss and is surprised when Ailette intervenes. He doesn't try to hide from the Magic Republic Queen's view. Part of it might just be him being his sweet potato self, but like idk given how traumatic it must've been, I would've at least expected some reaction and defence. But there's none, and I think it's really sad that it's just such a normal part of life for him, that he doesn't even fight anymore. It reminds me of the way women would grit their teeth and keep smiling when they get unwanted advances, especially before #MeToo.

idk it's the way Tesilid is powerful and powerless because of his beauty. These people and demons have power over him in a very stomach-churning way. These things all happen to him despite him being a strong fighter and Aura Master. These experiences don't take away from his strength of character and in fact a lot of the story progresses without truly acknowledging and diving into these experiences, because he is so much more than just that. But it's still awful and he should never have had to experience them in the first place and it still impacts him and like. idk. Tesilid 👍 fantastically complex character whose layers have layers and whose angles have angles.