#and then revert back to that facade and expect it to feel like a satisfying conclusion?
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YOU. YOU GET ME
(I uh. May have gone autistic about my problems with Revue Frontier + Misc. Aruru thoughts in the tags. Oops.)
Every day I wake up and think about how irreversibly Arcana Arcadia has altered my brain chemistry. They did not have to go that hard for an arc exclusively in the mobile game and yet
#I need to like. articulate my Revue Frontier thoughts at some point#because I can never tell if my ‘eugh’ reaction to the way it ends is genuinely poor writing#or just stuff that clashes with my interpretation of Aruru since her issues hit extremely close to home for me#It’s something about the way something that is clearly extremely deep-rooted is just brushed of as her ‘having a rebellious phase’#and how once Elle gets her to come back to the stage that’s exactly the same way the writing treats her issues?#the scene where she says she like ‘Knew all along but was just denying it’ undoes literally all of that nuance in one fell swoop#and from that point on she just. reverts as a character back to where she was originally but all of her issues are magically all better now!#You can’t just establish a ‘Hey you know this guy? yea a good chunk of their personality was a facade’#and then revert back to that facade and expect it to feel like a satisfying conclusion?#It’s also just the way Aruru is treated as acting unreasonable and childish which. from the characters I understand#but it genuinely seems like the writing is built around that conception as well#The scene where she’s understandably freaking out and Elle just fucking headbutts her???#and they reduce everything down to just ‘you’re being childish nobody cares how you feel get on the stage’#as someone who was struggling with EXTREMELY similar things to Aruru and still fucking does#having very real very palpable struggles for me boiled down to ‘stop whining about it’ was. extremely not good for me#And then watching the character I found so much comfort in just get over it in five seconds was. ugh. Azure seal of disapproval#they got. so damn close. and they fumbled it#Is this just a me thing? or is this an actual problem with the writing? who fucking knows#but I don’t like it and it’s everyone’s problem now#anyways if anyone’s ever wondering what I’m talking about when I mention ‘The Aruru fic’ or ‘The revstar hellfic’#I am rewriting a ton of Revue Frontier stuff to address this exact fucking issue. i will shamelessly pander to myself and I’m not sorry#Aruru Otsuki has BPD I will die on this fucking hill by the way.#Looking back on all of the reasons she hit my brain differently back then with the knowledge that ‘Hey Azure that’s not normal’#it is right there.#frantic efforts to avoid and extreme reactions to perceived abandonment?#unstable identity/sense of self? chronic feelings of emptiness? unpredictable/violent mood swings? and that’s just the shit we see??????#The entire fucking arc from her perspective reads like a bad Azure BPD episode and I will NEVER shut up about it#Anyways uh whoever the fuck reads this far. I’m sorry.
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Shingeki no Kyojin 139: Final Analysis
There have been many thoughts circulating now that SnK’s final chapter has been released, with drones of negative reviews flooding the ‘net. How satisfied one is with the ending appears to stem from how a number of plot points were interpreted, and how much emphasis one placed on certain events and seeing their fulfillment.
Here’s a brief analysis on why the series’s end is a fitting one, and why some events occurred or did not.
1. The Founding Titan
Many have expressed annoyance and disbelief at not seeing the Founding Titan (the worm-like spinal cord Reiner was subduing) being eliminated. Rather than this being a strange omission, it seems like it disappeared when Eren was killed, freeing Ymir and thus removing the “Eldian curse.”
2. How did Eren remove this curse?
This is one question that stands. Eren appears to have removed the curse by following Ymir’s will. By goading Mikasa into action, he satisfied Ymir’s desires and was able to put her at ease. Her legacy of titanism was then removed from the Eldians.
3. Revival
The reversal of titanism that occurred within a chapter was jolting for many. Why were they brought back? Consider an end where the turned Eldians remained titans. How would that bode for the story’s end? The handful of humans fighting for all of humanity’s freedom shrank further down to seven people. The odds were again stacked against them, and they likely would have died.
An end where humanity’s hope for freedom dies, where Eren is victorious at genocide of the world outside Paradis, is not at all what the story was routing. Throughout the series, humans cling to hope, life, and dreams of freedom. Eren, the Attack Titan, held these beliefs more strongly than anyone else in the series. An end where the Eldians remain titans is an end without freedom and hope, the story’s main themes.
In addition, turning all the Eldians into titans cast Eren into an even darker shadow in the eyes of the world. This made the fighters who contested him into even greater, braver heroes. His defeat and the resulting reversal also showed all Eldians reverting into humans. This could serve as evidence that the Eldian race lost their titan-shifting abilities (though clearly this was not immediately believed).
4. Historia’s Child
The parentage of Historia’s child appears to be a huge point of contention and a source of disappointment. Many followed the theory that Eren would be the father, thus providing the child with the royal and Founding genes perfect for controlling titans. However, Historia’s pregnancy and sudden marriage proved to be her aims at freedom, rather than a plot with Eren. This does not invalidate Historia’s choices or her child’s existence.
Historia chose to marry and have a child after discussing her options with Eren. Much of what Eren did when forming the Jaegerists was to ensure Historia the least amount of suffering. He wanted Historia to choose her future freely, not to be turned into a titan or have a child who would become one. In addition to her royal status, her pregnancy further prevented her from becoming a titan. The child not being born yet also ensured that it would not become a titan for quite some time.
Historia’s path was not an easy one. She made difficult decisions as queen, and continues to have a daunting road ahead of her as fascism floods the island. While her pregnancy and sudden marriage did not seem to be celebrated events for her, they were the results of her free choice. The child represents future hope, a youth born into a world where titans will be a memory. While this should be hopeful, as seen from politics on the island, it appears that the younger generation will encounter racism, blame, and many more obstacles ahead.
5. Eren
After the timeskip and his shock at the medal awarding ceremony, Eren became reserved and militant. Many seem to have interpreted Eren and his actions in a way that did not align with the ending. Here’s how the ending really does suit Eren Jaeger.
Eren started off as an angry, idealistic teen who violently sought freedom of choice with his own hands. He wanted to live without fear, in peace with his friends, and to see the world. He longed for vengeance against injustice and strength to deliver killing and protective blows.
As the series progressed, Eren and all of Paradis were dealt shocking information. They were killing humans, they were not the last of humanity, and they were effectively caged and considered devils by an unknown society. After obtaining the Founding Titan and coming into contact with royal blood, Eren was flooded with an unimaginable amount of information about the world around him. Not only did he learn about Marley and its atrocities toward the Eldian race, he saw and felt the injustices his father suffered, the tragedies, the fear. Through PATHs, Eren experienced all this as if it were firsthand.
After learning all this, plus chilling information that shed a new light on former events (such as Dina’s identity and how he managed to use the Coordinate), Eren changed. He saw the entire future play out — the rumbling, the death, the titanism... Eren saw what his future held.
PATHs was one confusing, tricky realm that he tried to make sense of, but then came Ymir. Eren pitied Ymir’s plight and chose to help her. Due to PATHs, his actions were essentially predetermined. As Eren said, once he started on that journey of helping Ymir gain her freedom, his thoughts became incoherent.
Eren was overwhelmed with thoughts, knowledge, and sights spanning time and space. As seen from the earlier owner of the Attack Titan, Kruger, PATHs transcends one individual’s will.
To achieve this ultimate goal, Eren made difficult, painful choices. Stirring up militants, becoming a villain, initiating a genocide. These actions are not condoned, but are events Eren saw as necessary and successful toward his end goal. The angry teen became a reserved, overwhelmed adult. The world was not his own, but he would continue to fight for his ultimate goal of freedom — not just for him this time, but truly for all of humanity.
Following Ymir’s will was not a purely destined event for Eren, but a beneficial one as well. By following Ymir’s will, Eren foresaw a future where his friends were safe and the Eldian race was lifted of its curse. This was the ultimate freedom Eren sought — freedom from stigma, from an uncontrollable biological anomaly, from difference. The Eldians would be on equal footing with other races, who would have no cause for immense fear once titan-shifting vanished.
Eren’s death went as he had planned. Mikasa was chosen as humanity’s savior and Ymir’s mirror. Eren died as a villain, his friends lived as heroes. Memories returned from time spent with him in PATHs, revealing his true feelings and goals.
Eren’s end was truly a selfish one. He ignored his friends’ true desires for a future he saw as beneficial for them. He adopted a route of pain and destruction to ensure this, rather than sitting back and continuing to suffer — to not be free. The poor irony is that in his efforts, Eren himself was not truly free. The Attack Titan fought for humanity’s freedom from oppression, but he himself had his actions clouded by millennia of thoughts and possibilities. Eren did choose to follow this path, but it is important to consider the overload of information that PATHs presented him with. All users existed simultaneously. Was Eren really the one who chose to do X or Y? Or who chose to set Z into motion? It’s difficult to say, but it is certain that Eren did accept this journey, and he truly did follow it and his desire for freedom through.
People have called Eren pathetic. They have said his character growth was chucked aside. But that simply isn’t true. The Eren who whines about desiring Mikasa’s attention, the Eren who ignores his friends’ pleas, the Eren who fought amongst the Scouts, are all incredibly selfish individuals. Even after all his actions and his facades, Eren was still Eren.
6. Mikasa & Ymir
Mikasa’s end has received much pushback. Rather than moving on from Eren, the final scene set three years after his death sees her sitting alone still longing for him. It’s easy to pity Mikasa, and it certainly is bittersweet, but it seems to be a painful reality that Isayama-sensei chose to represent.
In an effort to distance himself, Eren deeply wounded her by calling her a slave through her Ackerman genetics.
Ymir chose Mikasa as her savior, seeing her love for Eren as a mirror for her own unrequited love for King Fritz. Ymir was a slave to her love through what many have noted as Stockholm Syndrome, the mental disorder where a victim falls in love with his/ her captor. Mikasa was different from Ymir in this way. While her love of Eren was her primary motivator in life, she and Eren were on equal ground, and she was capable of making her own decisions.
But Mikasa was clearly not a slave, as evidenced by her ability to go against him during the Rumbling. Eren’s goading worked toward his goal; his actions caused Mikasa to turn against him, and ultimately, to end him, the person she loved the most.
While Ymir finally was freed, Mikasa has an admittedly unsatisfactory end. Not only does she not end up with the man she loves, but she had to deal his death by her own hands after watching him become a mass-murdering monster. The only satisfaction she appears to receive is knowing Eren cared for her, even loved her in his own way, and that wherever he is, in her beliefs, he is watching over her.
For Mikasa, this appears to be good enough. For readers desiring a strong end, an independent Mikasa who moved on from her love, this sits uneasily. But Mikasa’s situation is not unique; it mirrors a reality where feelings cannot be dismissed, and love never wanes.
7. Final Thoughts
The aforementioned six aspects appear to be the most controversial. For many who were expecting a flashy shonen finish, or certain aspects to carry more weight, I would urge to step back from the trees to see the forest.
First it is Eren who is the victim, then “humanity,” then the nation, race, world... Shingeki no Kyojin follows a story about human nature and the philosophy of freedom. What does it mean to truly be free? How can we all obtain happiness? What is fair, right, just?
Shingeki no Kyojin follows the story of a boy who longs for freedom and strength in a world filled with senseless horrors and injustice. This goal and these obstacles do not waver as the world opens up and the series progresses. The enemy morphs into another entity, meaningless atrocities continue by different hands.
Just like in reality, the series’s end offers no easy answers. Despite our heroes’ efforts, racism and prejudice remain, radicalism flourishes, and efforts for peace are met with resistance. But there is hope. Even faced with all the trials and horrors of the world, a group remain optimistic and unwavering in their belief that things can be better. Even if it’s not perfect, they still strive toward that end goal.
Just like the Scouts, Isayama-sensei urges us forward for betterment and the pursuit of equity.
The old refrain of “Devote your hearts” rings true in our day just as it does throughout the series.
With effort and unyielding spirits, we can press forward. Though the world may not be perfect, it’s the journey getting there and the relentless drive that count.
#spoilers#attack on titan 139#139#attack on titan end#shingeki no kyojin 139#shingeki no kyojin#attack on titan#aot#snk#eren jaeger#eren yeager#eren#mikasa ackerman#mikasa#historia#why'd i say brief this is not brief#i started this days ago and am too tired to keep revising it#surely there are better explanations#i was miffed at some big misunderstandings so at least that's out of my system#will do character posts later#ghostpost
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Akashi Seijuro SFW/fluff headcanons, please!
A/N: I decided to mash these two together, so I hope you’ll enjoy them! (◕▿◕✿)
Tags: Akashi x reader ✅ SFW ✅ fluff ✅
image/art source: Twitter (art by kusuko39)
☞ 𝕡𝕒𝕣𝕥 𝟚
━━━━☆ ━━━━☆ ━━━━☆
so you guys became a couple some weeks before the Shutoku vs Rakuzan game
during the first few days of your life as a couple, he’d be quite cold and indifferent towards you
the question whether he harbored some/any feelings for you did arise quite often, but you decided to hold back on asking him that, figuring that basketball might’ve been more important at that time
when his team lost the match it was quite shocking for you, so imagining how he - the undefeated emperor - must've felt was nearly impossible
.
on your way out of the arena, your phone buzzed in your pocket/bag
1 new message from Akashi ♡
for a mere second, you didn't even want to look at the SMS, afraid of what he might have sent you, but in the end, you did open it nonetheless
(Y/N)...could you wait for me at the stairs, where I met the Generation of Miracles before? I'll be there as soon as I can. - Akashi
with a sigh, you obliged and went there waiting for your boyfriend
much to your surprise he was there first and was nervously fiddling with his jacket - an image you weren’t used to
“Akashi?“
“(Y/N)...?“
on that day you found out about his biggest secret (aka. the second personality)
at first, it was quite shocking and unrealistic, but how else were you going to explain the change in his eye color as well as the 180-degree switch in his personality?
your boyfriend had just gone from ‘ah yes this is (Y/N), my current lover’ to ‘mom, dad, this is (Y/N), the love of my life with whom I’m going to spent my time with until the day I die’
during the entire conversation, he continuously apologized for his past behavior, swearing that he’d change and shower you with just the right amount of love you deserved
“Akashi, I really appreciate it, but could you at least give me a day to think about it?”, you asked right after he had requested something like a ‘restart’ for your relationship
with a nod and a soft embrace the two of you parted ways on that night
after that talk, you decided to give him another chance and since then he was indeed different...
.
..
it all started off with basic things
asking how you’re feeling through SMS became a daily ritual for the two of you
he even made sure to go out on a date with you once per week and it was always someplace different/new
you watched all kinds of movies at the cinema, both new and old
and what you found out about him was that he loved detective type of movies
Akashi would always put a finger on his chin and seriously try to figure out who the culprit is
next on the list were various pastry shops and bakeries
he’d introduce you to those he loved the most and would buy something that you wanted to eat as well as something he recommends/wants you to try out
when you finally decide on a favorite out of all, he’d order for them to prepare something small for you at least twice/trice a week
“Is my sweetheart awake yet?”
Akashi would wake you up with the softest voice he could muster and bring you your breakfast on a tray
on other days when you are the one to wake up first, you’d go down to the kitchen and begin the preparations for a joint breakfast
but no matter how silent you try to be, your boyfriend always manages to catch you in the act and surprise you with a back hug
of course, as his girlfriend you’ll try and engage in activities he’s found of
one example was horseback riding
the first time you heard that his family owns some horses you were beyond surprised
he let you pick one out and the moment you chose his own horse, your boyfriend couldn’t help but chuckle at how similar your tastes were
by the end of the day, you had almost reached the level of the redhead and his riding skills
you were even proud of the fact that there were no mishaps e.g falling from the horse, but with Akashi by your side that was to be expected
hanging out at his mansion was nothing new to you now, but some months back you couldn’t even take one step inside of it, afraid that you might dirty the flawlessly cleaned floor
with your luck, you even got to meet his father on that exact same day
at first, he appeared quite cold and uninterested in who you were, but the moment you told him his name his attitude changed
during the typical ‘so dad, this is (Y/N), the person I’ve been dating for some time...’ he managed to keep his CEO-like facade and aura up
but when his son left to get you three some drinks and snacks he was a changed man
his father took your hands in his and squeezed them while he thanked you multiple times for making Akashi smile every day, for helping him out when he most desperately needed it, for loving him that much despite his “condition” and for simply staying by his side without any ulterior motives
you were so flabbergasted after the sudden shower of compliments that the rest of the conversation was a complete blur
.
the memory you were most fond of with him was the night of his birthday
you had baked some winter-themed cookies and had prepared an entire dinner for him so that when he comes back all he had to do was sit down and enjoy the feast
after your guys’ hunger was satisfied, the two of you sat down in front of your fireplace, cuddling with each other and laughing about the past
“You know Akashi...back then when you guys went against Jabberwock and you changed back I was actually a tad worried.“, you confessed with a silent voice while the burning fire enhanced your soft facial features
said man just buried his fingers in your hair and gently caressed your head, symbolizing that he was listening to you
your boyfriend waited a short while for you to continue, but you didn’t so he softly kissed your temple and asked: “Worried about...?“
“Worried that you might revert back to your old closed-off self...“
a sad smile adored his features since he knew what you meant with it
back when he still had his ‘emperor personality’ he almost never relied on you
your words of affection and encouragement meant almost nothing to him back then
but much to your surprise he didn’t change at all afterward
Akashi stayed the same and became even more soft and affectionate than you would’ve expected
day after day he thanked you for the love you’ve given him as well as your persistence to stay with him - no matter what
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Heyo, I’ve noticed in some of your posts about China that you seem to always hint about there being some kind of darkness within her? Like most other sp fans depict her as kinda a selfish bitch, but like you always paint her as very serene and yet there’s something just below the surface that isn’t so pretty and I think it’s a really interesting take on her. I was wondering whether you’d mind doing one of your awesome analysis posts on what gave you that impression, if it’s not too much to ask??
woo boy, this is gonna be a long one and sorry for the wait anon but exams were killing me and this one took a while to put together, but I hope you enjoy!
So, yeah I’ve always pictured China as a person who’s very much keeping her vicious nature under control and yet, sometimes there are moments we see a part of it come out and yeah, here’s me trying to explain that!
Alright, so there’s three main things that give me this impression - China’s inner monologues, descriptions of her by those who she previously worked with e.g. Eliza Scorn, and her combat style - I’ll go through each of these sections in depth.
China’s inner monologues:
One thing I find immensely interesting when it comes to China’s inner voice and/or dialogue is that it generally seems to be in conflict, mostly in the ways she wants to accomplish her goal - often when China was forced into action in phase one, one of the first things that always is mentioned is her doing something that she wouldn’t have done before/wasn’t her first thought when it came to handling the situation - often, her initial reaction is something much more violent, cruel and brutal. Often, she has to remind herself of her supposed facade, of her grace and serenity, before she acts in a slightly less violent manner than she was considering.
EXAMPLES:
Her finger hovered by her elbow. One twitch would be all it took, and the pain would rise so suddenly their hearts would burst. Instead, she flattened her hand...
She smashed his head into the wall. It was so satisfying, making them hurt.... she felt the power snap through him and his whole body jerked wildly and he collapsed. She looked down. So, so satisfying... she closed her eyes, relaxing.
“He will not condemn me for my past actions, so long as I don’t revert to the person I once was. The war with Mevolent changed everyone who fought in it. We each saw things in ourselves that we would rather not admit to.”
“You beat me last time because I had grown complacent,” she said softly. “I had lost my edge. But I’ve had a year to get my edge back. Feel how sharp I am, Eliza?”
“You do not want to upset me,” China said, pushing her cup to one side. “You wouldn’t like me when I’m upset.”
Indeed, we even see this conflict mentioned in her dialogue when she talks to Prave:
“You know,” China said, “there was a time when nobody dared threaten me. I just wouldn’t stand for it. The amount of people I killed, of bodies I twisted and bones I snapped, all because they had allowed their anger to momentarily overwhelm their good sense. I regret it all now, of course. I was out of control. I was indulging the darkness inside me far too often. I was not, Mr Prave, a very nice person. But I have changed. I have allowed the years to mellow me....
But every once in a while, I get the urge....The urge for destruction. The urge to hurt, maim, kill. It’s quite a thing, to experience that urge, to let it wash over you, to give in to it. It’s addictive. It’s all-consuming. You lose yourself to it. It’s quite, quite wonderful. I can feel it, even as I speak, tapping around the edges of my mind, trying to prise me open, slip its fingers in. And it would be so easy to let it happen. But we’re all like that, aren’t we? We’re all barbarians at our core. We’re all savage, murderous beasts. I know I am....I know I roar very loudly indeed. How about you? Do you think you can match me?”
Simply put, China’s true nature is one a lot more impulsive and a lot more brutal than the facade she puts up.
Descriptions by others:
Secondly, one of the key things that crops up when people from her past describe her is her inclination towards violence and action - China’s neutrality is a far more foreign concept to them than it is to us as the readers, and this really does show:
EXAMPLES OF HER NATURE:
“China, because she enjoyed that kind of thing, went after your wife. By all accounts, it was a knock-down, drag-out fight.”
“Look at her face, Prave. Isn’t it a beautiful face? Isn’t it the most beautiful face you ever did see? But beauty is so deceptive. Looking at her now, you’d never guess that she was calculating the most efficient way of killing us, would you? There’s not a hint of that in those startlingly pale blue eyes. If we didn’t know better, we’d still be gazing at her, falling in love all over again, and she could walk right up and stab us through the heart, and we’d never see it coming. All because of that beautiful face.”
“What’s in the past is in the past,” China said. “I’m going to end up killing every one of you for all this, and one more name added to the list won’t make much difference.” Gallow looked at her, then at Scorn. “I thought you said she was under control.”
EXAMPLES TO DO WITH NEUTRALITY:
“It’s time to take off this mask you wear, to end this charade. You need to take your place.”
“My place is right here.”
“We both know that’s not true. You could no more turn your back on the Faceless Ones than I could. I have seen your devotion.”
“My devotion, as you call it, has waned.”
Vengeous shook his head. “You have sworn your allegiance to the dark gods. You cannot simply change your mind.”
“I expected more from you, China. When you left us, I thought you’d be back. No one could do the things you’d done and then walk away. I didn’t think it was possible.”
Practically all of them can’t believe her passivity, because to them, that isn’t the China they know and fought beside for however long. Instead, the China they describe reveals a much more darker nature than the one we see - a China who wasn’t valued because of the information she had or her manipulation of others - a China who was valued for her effective and brutal action against the cause’s enemies.
Indeed, when considering China’s role during the war it becomes much clearer that she was ultimately valued for her devotion and ferociousness, her brutality and her effectiveness
Her fighting style:
Lastly, that leads us to the final thing - China in combat.
Now, one of the criticisms I saw after Bedlam that surprised me is that people felt that when China was fighting in some chapters, it felt too ‘Tanith’ or wasn’t elegant enough.
But the thing is, China’s fighting style has always been extremely rough.
EXAMPLES:
Strength flooded her body and, when Mist reached for her, China grabbed her wrist and twisted, locking Mist’s arm straight and forcing her to her knees... China struck the back of her elbow. Mist shrieked and the elbow shattered and shards of bone ruptured the skin.
China parried the blow and chopped at Tanith’s bicep. Tanith back-pedalled, her right arm hanging uselessly, and China stepped in quickly and caught her with a solid haymaker to the jaw.... China turned her attention back to Tanith. She activated the symbols on both of her palms, then stepped up to clamp her hands on either side of Tanith’s head. Tanith arched her back and screamed.
She hurled daggers of red light and dived a rider who came at her with a sword. She slammed her forehead into his face.... “Skulduggery?” China demanded, breaking a rider’s wrist and jabbing her fingers into his eyes.
China hit him from the side... In an instant, China was leaning over him, her hand pressing against his forehead. He screamed, then went silent, but China kept her hand on his forehand, making his body jerk.
The sigils on China’s knuckles flashed into his line of sight right before she broke his nose... her fist crunched into his side, smashing ribs.
There seems to be an assumption that because China is seemingly filled with grace that her fighting style would also be this simple, effortless thing.
And in a way, it is, when one considers her discipline, with her sigils meaning she can easily defend herself in a moments notice. But China’s fighting style has never been about grace - it’s always been about effectiveness, taking down her opponent in the quickest way. Indeed, Eliza Scorn even mentions this:
“Looking at her now, you’d never guess that she was calculating the most efficient way of killing us.”
And, very often, the first thing we see China lose when she enters a fight is that grace as she practically springs into action.
EXAMPLES:
China, meanwhile, was getting down and dirty with the remaining mage. They rolled across the ground, China’s hair in her face. Finally, China simply grabbed the sorcerer’s head and slammed it down into the concrete, once, twice. Satisfied that her opponent was no longer a threat, she got up, breathing hard and looking angry.
All of these examples clearly indicate just how brutal her fighting technique is and indeed how brutal her natural response to things is.
Overall:
One of things I notice most when people simplify China’s characterisation is that they turn her into a weak, vain bitch who isn’t able to defend herself or a princess who views violence or at least being involved in combat as beneath her - the truth is, China has always been a paradox: The beautiful woman with the ugly nature, the self serving who was once devoted, the graceful creature who easily becomes the brutal killer.
Another thing people seem to forget that the China we meet in Book One is very different to the China the people who she spent the majority of her youth and adult life with expect- her neutrality, her commitment to her library and indeed her self serving nature are all very foreign to them - perhaps we should all consider why and also what she was like before she decided to leave the conflict.
Part of the reason why I love China is that there are so many hidden and unexplored parts of her personality and nature that are only hinted at - she’s not a black and white character, and often people’s perception of her changes when they try to simplify her character into something black and white.
And yeah, that’s the basics behind this headcanon!! Hope it all makes sense and if not, feel free to drop another ask or dm!!
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A small rectangular object is nestled into Neo’s pillow, hidden from view by the lavender-hued parchment tented over it. The black lacquered box revealed is sunken deep into the soft matter due to its weight but also because someone has carefully lodged it there; undoubtedly to protect its precious contents.
Neo,
My grandfather taught me that having proper respect for time determines your success or failure. I probably have taken that advice too close to heart, especially at the young age that I embraced it. I cannot unfeel that pulsation beneath my skin. The ticking is not my heartbeat, but a metronome that dictates the rigor of my daily schedule. While you are certainly much less impaired by these constructs, it is still my wish for you.
Say what you will about riches and glory but time is more valuable than any, in my humble opinion. It is my estimation that you are a great man who has and will achieve many great things and, the greatest achievements require time. It used to be commonly accepted that every successful businessman should have a proper timepiece. It might seem an archaic notion, but a gentleman’s choice in such matter used to say as much about him as the clothes he chose to wear.
Forgive me for taking the liberty of having something commissioned for you. It is said that one can always acquire more money, but not more time. Please accept the gift in this small box, for it contains all the time in the world. It is said that one cannot control time but, of course one can. It is as simple as winding this silver dial. This offering is in not meant to restrain you. Time is freedom and time you enjoy wasting is not wasted time.
Let its gentle ticking calm your heart when it races. Let the placement of its arms remind you of ‘when’ you are and then ‘where’ you are and to whose arms you should speedily return. Let its chime inspire clarity and peace of mind; a gentle reminder meant to keep you focused. Press the crown to hear a sweeter song when ‘L’Appel Du Vide’ is too loud; we may not be able to control the call, but we can its volume.
Happy Birthday, Neo.
Sullivan Min
As expected, the timepiece inside the glossy black box is magnificent and unique. Platinum casing, durable black leather strap with a sturdy deployment clasp and a fabulous scroll-work ‘S’ engraved on its back. The top left corner reveals a beautifully etched disc that rotates from sun to moon side as day and night shift, especially useful on disorienting voyages through the Black. The piece is appropriately multi-faceted and two-faced; the upper an easily discernible clock facade. The lower encasing the tourbillon, which performs its seconds’ rotations as though suspended mysteriously in the air. The tourbillon itself counteracts the harmful effects of gravity on the movement and guarantees optimum precision; an essential feature in this day and age.
Sullivan requested a silver finish because it complements so many of Neo’s other belongings (proverbial spoon, his tongue, and an unassuming chain). Gold is for showpieces and impressive as this work of craftsmanship is, as with most gifts Sullivan gives, its main purpose is function. The true magic of the timepiece is that it’s a ‘reverso.’ The watch compartment slides and flips to reveal a hidden face, which is where most of the piece’s frills are located. The inner faces contain an array of useful measurements; month, day of the week, date, astrological phase, coordinate positioning, and various other features that will undoubtedly come in useful on Neo’s future clandestine dealings.
Neo didn’t find the letter nor the box until later in the evening, the wash of stars flitting by the glass of the ships windows as he returned to his room to retire for the night, the turning down of his blankets that finally revealed the black rectangular box, the gift to his eyes. His brows drew together slightly, confused at the concept of someone having come in his room without his knowledge, but the words on the paper relieved the concern, smoothing out his features as his eyes took in the words on the page. Sullivan was much more eloquent and well-spoken than he gave off, more than the wrinkled nose and sour pout, more than the red flush of his cheeks every time Neo paid direct attention to him or the seemingly flexible mind, the impression of compliance. What was more, the note seemed well-tailored, written in a way he felt the words where written exclusively for him. It felt more like a confession than a greeting card, something that he found himself quite preferable to.
He smoothed the paper between his fingers, turning around to place it on his desk before reverting his attention to the box, first studying it’s wrappings before opening the lid almost cautiously, carefully, as if he would break whatever was inside simply by trying to look at it. When the lid stuck open he paused, fingers hovering over the object inside as he processed it’s appearance, the gloss of a complex watch, a face with two heads. At the first sight he noted it wasn’t something he’d buy for himself, it wasn’t the flashiness that his gaze often drew too, but he also felt contented, satisfied, with the fact that it so easily rode the lines of his favor and Sullivan’s, clearly a gift, but not at all misplaced among his wardrobe.
It was another moment before he laid his finger tips on the face of it, drawing down to the strap to pick up the piece in it’s entirety, turning it each which way until his eyes drew to the button on the side, the mystery that it carried so heavily mirroring Neo’s own, the hidden parts and the inner workings remaining a secret, a curiosity untouched. He could see the thought that went into, flipping the face and revealing so much more than meets the eye; a gift worth the few minutes it takes to explore, even with Neo’s schedule so tight.
Just when he believed himself to have discovered the most sentimental parts, his thumb presses a button, and a sound begins, just as the letter promised. It sings sweetly in the silence of his room, and the tune that meets his previously stagnant ears is not lost. He’s always been perceptive, remembering the least important of things, and he is momentarily teleported back to the ballroom of the Zion, of eyeing his target between whispers in the steward’s ear. The amount of fabrication cannot be forgotten by Neo, but the feeling that must have graced Sullivan is clear. The sentimentality is thick and heavy, the imprint of the letter ‘S’ felt with his thumb and the faces ticking, unbothered.
Neo is hard to impress, he is hard to make smile, but the touches of humility are not fake in the emptiness of his room, the almost flattered feeling that formed in his stomach as he admired the gift. He is not one to say thank you, but as he puts the watch back, slowly and carefully, and places it near his bed, he pulls out his planner, and in large print writes on the first line of April 1st: “Visit Sullivan, give him time in return.” Simply so he wouldn’t forget.
#sysullivan#( a present befitting a prince )#// response under the cut#// LKHFSDGJKSDFHG THIS IS SO CUTE#// sullivan is so thoughtful bury me alive#// neo doesnt deserve him#submission#// also idk whats going on with the formatting and the letters it looks fine on mobile and the editors#// but kinda weird on my pc idk
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