#and then it didn't give me magic powers and i just barely survived the dying part

[pagesofkenna]

"As stony as you are on the outside, you really do have a soft heart" 😭 honestly, trust Liam to have the only reaction to Ashton's ~situation~ that I really vibe with

[cleliacleliadatura]

On adopting unique traits for survival....

My observation of Italian men, and people, while in Italy was never one of fear. Not one Italian man ever made me feel pressured, scared or hunted-including at "aperitivo" hour. Maybe I was just lucky not to be their type.

While there may be the stereotype of the Italian lover and a wandering eye and sun-soaked trysts that Hollywood loves to portray, my immersive moment in time with the Italian culture suggested a sense of safety-a down to earth approach to life that was not a cinema ready trope. Although one time I did wander too far and didn't have money for a bus ticket so I hitched a ride with a classically handsome Italian man on his Vespa. That was magical.

So refreshing.

When Jack made it clear he had moved on with another woman, I found myself riding random city buses with no destination in mind, sketch pad in hand during some evenings. I felt numb. Hurt, betrayed. The whole reason I chose this location to study and live was to be closer to him, in my foolish 20 year old mind, I should've known someone 8 years older than me had more serious objectives in mind than being a free spirit.

Reality sets in, though. I got fined a thousand euros for going on bus rides without paying for tickets. Still haven't paid it to this day.

That summer, Jack & I had worked on a project together. It was during this project he met his current wife. The warning signs were there, including me spending hours drawing telephones for an animation, only for it to barely make it in the final cut. The whole time, I was sitting there, with a streak of dyed blue hair, at a desk face to face with him, as he ran pencils up and down my legs flirting with me.

^our favorite song at the time (cue eye roll)....

The whole time, she had been there....at the show, where over a hundred people gathered to watch the final work, they took photos together standing side by side. He pretended as if I didn't exist.

Later in a one sentenced email where we officially broke it off, he said "It must be the magic of dancers"....in reference to why he betrayed me for her. How hurtful and twisted that felt, knowing only 5 years earlier I was that person. How I wished then and there I had chosen a completely different path in life, one that did not involve consulting therapists for medications that made me gain weight, because that's what American culture told me to do when you felt sad, even for two weeks. How I hated myself for choosing college instead of sticking with full commitment to the creative and performing arts. I didn't believe in myself, and the idea of being a "creator" online, where any person can give the illusion of success and fame was not commonplace. Then, it was real or it was not. In the flesh.

I was a complete fool. Blinded by my own youthful privilege of assuming honesty. When I look back, I think we were better suited as bandmates or coworkers, nothing more....He was a drummer afterall, can't trust drummers.

Thank God Regina Spektor had released a new album just that summer, her lamenting emotional music helped me feel less alone. To be honest, I haven't sung with the same passion as I did back then since this event. He used to film me singing, including one time at the Machipongo Clam Shack. He really believed in me, and his artistry and devotion to the creative world blended with a keen aptitude for technology inspired me, motivated me. Whenever I sang a song, it was my love for him that made the words flow with genuine intention. Now I feel like there's a lump in my throat, and a frog lives in my voicebox. Blocked. I once asked him if he would share all the videos he took of me singing, when I was younger and my voice was powerful. He completely ignored this request. Maybe it gave him satisfaction knowing that this one thing I desired, some evidence, wouldn't be so easy. My dream of being a singer required more than just saying it, I had to show it. He took some of that away by refusing to give the footage. I recall a moment where he came to visit the States and I could tell he judged me for my privilege in many ways, including being an american citizen-of knowing English so well. Life was a lot easier for Americans than the modern Italian man in the contemporary capitalist world. Especially for an aspiring artist and filmmaker. I can understand his feelings, he was right about this and many other things. I suppose it was his lesson to me, a bitter one. One that has repeated in my life in many ways, of people not really being happy for me when I'm doing the things that make me feel happiest. Maybe to a few important people in my life where I perceived this sentiment, it was because they felt I didn't truly deserve it. Get in a kitchen, go be a waitress. Get a real job, you're no artist.

One night, after coming up from the beach and catching the sun, with a dumb grin on my face, we had a dinner with family and friends. We were talking, laughing and in the middle of a sentence he pointed up towards my parent's bedroom window. He didn't say anything else but "It's because of Babo." He laughed. This was his way of letting me know he knew my secret, that most of my luck in this world was because of my Dad.

Jack told me once, "...we are all tiny grains of sand..." At the time, it was the most profound thing I'd ever heard. So different than the general attitude and culture I was used to, it made me uncomfortable. At first, I didn't like thinking we were just here for a temporary experience or existence, to face the reality of our personal insignificance in the cosmos. I thought in order to achieve we were supposed to hone a strong sense of individuality, to know thyself. To compete, stand out. Meeting him taught me to open my mind, to step outside of myself and what I knew to be true. When he left, it was as if all I did was retreat into an even more self-centered chrysalis of self-doubt.

I realize now his philosophy was very particular to Italian culture, of not taking up too much space, or more than necessary in order to survive. This is reflected in an ecological way straight into the cuisine and daily habits. In America, people like big, fast, fancy, rich, and opulent. To me, perhaps I am wrong, most Italians that I met valued simplicity. They didn't eat too much, they didn't waste a lot, their living spaces were not huge. Many in the city didn't have personal cars, maybe a rideshare (not Uber). Many got food from a local market, not a store, and went every few days to replenish on fresh produce and smaller bags of grain, pasta, a modest selection of formaggio or a cut of meat from the machelleria. I had many awkward conversations in broken Italian with elderly men puffing on cigars playing chess in the vibrant squares, some muttering about Mussolini and the evils of fascism. I loved the espresso bars, with forest green marble countertops and faded gold trims, where people stood at all hours of the day to get their doppio espresso in a tiny porcelain bicchiere. There was something about this area that drew me in, maybe a legacy of the mind's eye from the Carlo Petrini "Slow Foods Movement" and ensuing lifestyle. Not living to work, savoring the day to day. Recyling. Not always needing "new". This was then, who knows what it's like now or if perhaps what I observed was merely a reflection of what I was seeking.

Jack used to comment on my need to edit.

During the celebration in the streets I mentioned in the post about Mopsey, the seeing eye dog, not once did I ever feel unsafe. I wasn't looking over my shoulder like I've felt in other places of the world.

It wasn't centered on drinking and getting black out drunk or violent/ransacking stores, which seems to inevitably happen in some places once a 100 or more people gather and run through streets. There was no stench (or aroma, depending on your point of view) of hashish fumigating the airwaves.

Plus, locals warned me hashish in Italy, if you looked for it, would most likely be cut with contaminants that caused Hep C, and it was very expensive, not a necessity.

It seemed to me the people of this city didn't need that to have a good time.

Moderation is an embedded practice.

There were a few times when I felt unsafe walking alone in the city. A man with a deep imposing voice and square hat tapped me on the shoulder, asking for money. He then started following me for about ten minutes-trying to get information about me. What is your name, where are you from, are you from America? Bionda bionda.

I entered a cafe and stayed there until he got bored and left.

Another time, someone in the rotating group, Chloe, wanted to go to a nightclub. She was younger than me and far more intent on partying it up and being the opt-in Serena Vanderwood of Italy.

Nothing impressed her, she always kept her cool.

She was a smart young woman and not easily stressed yet came back sobbing one night.

A man, not from Italy, had tried groping her and sexually assaulting her at the discoteca.

One night, after singing at the Jazz Club, I walked home at 2 am by myself.

I saw his long dress skimming the sidewalk and heard the sucking noises.

He was shouting lewd things at me and started circling me making very lewd gestures and calling me horrible names "American whore".

Never had our paths crossed, wittingly, prior to this moment.

Not having cell service, tired and alone, with at least a 20 minute walk ahead of me, I decided to use my past acting skills.

I starting hissing at him, the same way my childhood friend Thomas had taught me since kindergarten.

Making weird noises, like a monkey calling in the forest, and making a boxing stance.

He kept following me, circling me on his bike and trying to grab at me-it was so bizarre.

Finally, without thinking I just started running at top speed without looking back and cut through a few side streets. All in a romper and two inch wedges.

Another disturbing event was one of my roommates had a very abusive older boyfriend, American Lex, who worked for the "music industry". She was only 19, he was 40. He was at least 6'2. He reminded me of a snapping turtle aardvark, or a beanstalk with a large gut. He always wore expensive loafers, impossibly skinny black jeans, and a tight black turtleneck with a leather jacket. He was extremely controlling of her, his bald head a shiny mirror to the passerby. His skin was a pale shade of Voldemort. Every five seconds he would call her, it seemed, asking where she was and what she was doing, who she was with. Then when they'd spend time together, he'd ignore her and make it seem like he was super busy on really important business calls with super important people and that she was a waste of his time-all while seemingly glued to her body.

She spent most of her short time in Italy, the country she had always wanted to see including the Uffizi, which she made sure to let everyone know she had memorized each room because of her Art studies-in a state of PTSD.

At night she would cry and start eating chocolate stuffed croissants, sitting upright in her bed-staring at the wall in a dream state. I'd wake up in the morning to see at least 4 wrappers on the floor as her ringtone "Gasolina" by Pitbull woke all of us up.

She had dark circles under her eyes, one time her pale arm had what seemed to be a mark from someone grabbing it.

She was always tense, nervous, confrontational.

Without ever speaking to this man, I resented him for being a jerk to someone two decades younger than him which then made everyone else's life difficult.

Sometimes it works, but I've found that many relationships with a large age gap are not very psychologically healthy for the younger person.

Just my observations, there is no formula.

[bambirex]

how about yennskier + they're trapped in the snow and yen tries to keep them warm with chaos (and maybe she's injured or still regaining her power so the weaker she becomes the colder they get until... 👀)

There's a more nsfw version of this in my head, but I stayed out of horny jail today 😂👀

Warnings: nudity

**

The light kept flickering in and out. Yennefer cursed under her breath as she tried to will her chaos to stay, to stop floating away and leave her at the worst possible time. She hated feeling so helpless, and it wasn't even herself she was so worried about.

Her body could endure harsher conditions, but even she could feel herself trembling from the cold: she could only imagine how a human body felt right now, fragile and utterly vulnerable to this horrible weather.

They managed to find a small hut just in time before the height of the snowstorm came down, but it wasn't enough. It was an old, shattered wooden shed, and the frosty wind whistled through the cracks, not giving them much protection. Yennefer has only regained her powers, and her chaos was still weak: she couldn't conjure a portal and get them somewhere safe and warm. They were trapped in here, half-buried under the snow, and even trying to keep them warm with her remaining powers didn't seem to help much.

Jaskier trembled next to her, his teeth chattering audibly. He was uncharacteristically quiet, which alarmed Yennefer. Even in the most dire situations, he would make silly jokes to try and ease the mood. He was now completely silent, except for his shaky, weak breaths. He hugged his knees close to chest, rolled up into a ball to try and keep some of his body heat.

"Come on, for fuck's sake," Yennefer groaned as the orange glow around her fingers dimmed again. "Do not fucking leave me again!"

The last time her chaos abandoned her, everything went to utter shit. She couldn't handle another repeat of that, especially not when she had another life to worry about. She might survive, but Jaskier wouldn't. She needed to try and stay strong at least for him.

She scooted closer to Jaskier and tried to direct the warmth of her hands towards him. Jaskier gave her a weak smile. His lips lost their usual pink color, and so did his face. He was pale like the snow rampaging outside.

The more her chaos dimmed, the colder Yennefer felt herself get, as well. She released a shaky sigh, curling in on herself. If the magic would fail, her body would, too. She would be just as vulnerable as Jaskier.

"Well, this isn't the way I thought I would go," Jaskier finally said. His voice was so weak, Yennefer could barely hear him over the wind. "Embarassing."

"I'm gonna warm us up, somehow," Yennefer promised, but her voice didn't sound convincing to her ears, either. She leaned even closer to Jaskier, until their bodies touched. Jaskier's body still held some of his warmth, and Yennefer hoped her own did, too, so she could transfer some of it to the bard.

An idea suddenly sprung into her head. She vaguely remembered Geralt telling her about the winters when it was so cold at Kaer Morhen that nothing helped, only huddling for warmth with his wolf brothers. If they wanted to survive this snowstorm, they needed to share their body heat.

Jaskier let out a surprised squeak when Yennefer suddenly wrapped her arms around him, pulling him closer.

"Yennefer, what the hell are you doing? Oh, God," he sighed, shaking his head, "you think we're dying. We're dying and so you're getting all sentimental and hugging me, trying to make up for all the wrongs..."

"What wrongs... Jaskier, I'm trying to keep you warm! We need to stay close to each other."

"Ah. Alright."

Tentatively, Jaskier reached for Yennefer. His arms went around her waist in return, his chin rested on the top of her head. It was nice, Yennefer thought. She soon started feeling warm inside and out; gently, she started rubbing Jaskier's arm, and he tightened his hold on her in return.

Unfortunately, as nice as it was, it didn't last long enough: Jaskier soon started shivering again, his body trembling against Yennefer's. Yennefer realized both their clothes were still wet, and all their shared body heat seeped out as the damp materials, instead of drying, went even colder.

They needed to get rid of those wet rags as soon as possible, because they were only going to make things worse.

Yennefer unbuttoned her blouse quickly, shrugging it off. Jaskier's eyes went wide before he snapped his head away, trying not to stare at Yennefer's naked chest.

"What the fuck!?"

"Get out of your clothes," Yennefer ordered as she got rid of her skirt. The cold air felt uncomfortable against her bare skin. Jaskier made a weird little sound at the back of his throat.

"Woah, that escalated quickly. People usually buy me dinner first."

"Jaskier!"

"I am not getting naked, Yennefer! I'm freezing to death in my warmest coat, you think having my bare arse out would be better!?"

"Our clothes are drenched, we're gonna be even colder if we keep them on! Undress, or I'll tear them off!"

Something flickered in Jaskier's eyes. He bit down on his lip as his trembling fingers got to work, shedding his clothing as quickly as he could. Something about him succumbing to her orders made a strange emotion flutter in Yennefer's chest.

"Do not make this weird," she warned him as she wrapped herself around him. A shiver ran through her body, but it was not because of the cold. Jaskier's skin was terribly cold, but still soft against her own. It was pleasant, and Yennefer found herself burrowing deeper into his embrace.

"Says the woman who ordered me to get naked when there's a literal snowstorm outside," Jaskier chuckled. His voice was already a bit stronger, and his shivering eased up a little. He buried his face in Yennefer's hair, probably to not make her feel like she was being stared at. Yennefer appreciated his kindness.

Actually, she appreciated a lot more. She never would have thought being in Jaskier's arms would feel so wonderful, but right now, Yennefer didn't want to leave.

It was only because she needed to stay warm, she told herself. That was the only reason she liked it.

Combined with the weak flickers of her chaos, they soon warmed in each other's arms. Jaskier's shallow, ragged breathing turned into quiet, almost happy little sighs, and his skin felt much warmer. Yennefer smoothed a hand down his side, only to feel if it really was warm, of course. Not because she wanted more of his bare skin.

"If we survive, I expect you to not tell anyone about this," Yennefer said. "No one needs to find out we were cuddling."

"Naked," Jaskier added. Yennefer felt his grin against her hair. "Also, I thought we were just keeping each other warm. I didn't realize we were cuddling."

The teasing edge in his voice told Yennefer that he was feeling better now. It was now safe to give his arm a smack, so that was what Yennefer did, making Jaskier whine.

All the same, Yennefer smiled into Jaskier's chest. Whether it was about keeping warm, or something else entirely, she couldn't say she didn't enjoy it just a little bit.

[yunisverse]

I'm not much into Digimon (had 1, maybe 2 VHS-cassettes with the first episodes, but didn't watch them often), but your AU's have gotten me interested. On that note, who is Wizardmon and what is it about him that made you so invested? - Swedish anon

oh i’m glad you asked. buckle up friend, this is going to get long.

Wizardmon was a character introduced during the Myotismon arc: an evil vampire Digimon opens a portal back to Earth to hunt down the last Digidestined child who missed the call with the rest of the cast, and our heroes have to scramble to find the kid before he can. Wizardmon is one of Myotismon’s minions… supposedly.

See, while everyone else is trying to figure out who the last child is, he’s the only one who’s figured out who their digimon is. It’s Gatomon, another minion of Myotismon’s, brainwashed into forgetting her original purpose. Before she was wholly lost, however, she showed Wizardmon a brief kindness–as in, stopped him from dying in the street and expected nothing in return–and that was enough to make him Ride Or Die for her. He has gone through the charade of working for this intensely cruel master just for the barest chance that he might be able to help her find happiness.

In terms of Digimon, Wizardmon is also weirdly powerful. Rather than relying primarily on the usual Digimon attacks, he uses magic (there’s weird lore stuff explaining it but it never comes up in the show) and notably has several special abilities that seem specifically to counter Myotismon’s vampiric effects. For context, six Ultimate-level Digimon working together can’t land a single attack on Myotismon, but once Wizardmon’s finally caught working against Myotismon (“how can I betray you if I was never on your side to begin with?”) he’s actually able to land several blows as only a Champion. While he ends up left for dead, he barely survives several attacks that had one-shotted all others (presumably out of sheer determination to get Gatomon to safety because he’s that damn determined). 

There are only four episodes between Wizardmon’s first spoken lines and his final death, jumping in front of an attack meant for Gatomon and her reunited partner. In that short amount of time, though, he throws up a huge amount of interesting character beats to immediately endear him to the audience and make everyone really curious about him. It helps that his voice actor, Robert Axelrod, does a really great job with what little time he has.

Also season 2 reveals that since he died in the real world he’s trapped in the form of a ghost, unable to ever be reborn or find rest, and it SUCKS, and he DESERVES BETTER BANDAI HE DIDN’T NEED TO GET OFFED COME ON AN ANGEL SHOWS UP SECONDS AFTER HE DIED SHE COULD HAVE SAVED HIM AUGH

anyway that got even longer than i anticipated, but i hope it gives you an idea of the renewed interest I’ve had in the last couple days!

[books--andt]

A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas Review and Spoiler Discussion!!!

Hey everyone!! Raise your hand if you read and devoured ACOWAR and loved every stinking minute of it! *raises hand 1231434241 times*

Ahh the long awaited ACOWAR, the third and final book in this trilogy. But have no fear! SJM has announced that she will be writing more books set in this world, just not from Feyre's perspective. I CANNOT WAIT YOU GUYS.

To give some thoughts for my non spoiler readers... Sarah J Maas is a queen. Her writing is liquid gold. The way she describes courts, weather, clothing--everything was just beautiful. The character development, for not only Feyre and Rhys, but for other characters as well was through the roof and truly, honestly, makes you wish these characters were real because they FEEl real. They feel like they are your own friends and family and I ended up caring deeply for every one of them. And don't even get me started on Velaris. I WISH I LIVED THERE!

Read this book. This series. Read EVERYTHING by the queen- SARAH J MAAS!

***SPOILER TALK AHEAD***

Hey spoiler peeps! SO! Where do I even begin?? Feyre begins her story trapped yet again in the Spring court. I have to say, I really, really despised Tamlin all throughout this book. The fact that he didn't understand that he wasn't making Feyre happy, that he was trapping her, and that she left on her own FREE WILL made me so angry. It wasn't until the end of the book when I actually was like, ok, he's learned, he sort of redeemed himself. We'll get more into this later.

Once Feyre and Rhys were back together my heart grew three sizes. They are just perfect together. They spoke a lot more with their minds, being Daemati, and I thought this showed just how close the two of them are.

I freaking love Nesta. I feel like if you were to tell someone this who has only read ACOTAR they'd be pretty confused, but her character development, and Elain's too was just stunning. I love how Nesta has this tough attitude about her. She's the kind of person who would say, "you can say mean things about me. But insult my family and friends? You're dead."

And don't even get me started on her and Cassian!!!!!!!!!!! I SHIP!!!!! SO MUCH!!!!!!!!!!! I was dying at the end of ACOMAF when she was being forced into that cauldron and Cassian was crawling for her, and calling her name. And then I was bawling YET AGAIN when the same thing was happening at the end of ACOWAR, when Nesta is about to kill the king of Hybern, having summoned the cauldrons powers, but is stopped short when the king breaks her fathers neck, killing him, and her powers are snuffed out. Meanwhile, Cassian is laying at her side, crawling towards her, his wings snapped and broken, telling her to leave him, to run, and she tells him that she CAN'T leave him. Oh my heart. When Nesta positioned herself in front of Cassian and he held her back, I was CERTAIN that Hybern was going to kill them and I was NOT ready. I was nearly bawling at this point. But thank the Mother!!! Elain!!!! She is exactly as SJM describes her as; a flower child, with flora in her mind and a hobby for gardening. But then she comes up behind Hybern and BOOM! Stabs him in the throat-- with the blade Azriel gave her nonetheless! This just proves how she isn't just a bystander, how she has faced trivialities, and hardships, and losses, and it has shaped her into who she is. I'm not trying to say that you need to kill someone to prove your strength, god no, but it was just SO SATISFYING when she stabbed the king and then hisses into his ear, "Don't you dare touch my sister." I DIED. And of course, Nesta gives the final twist of the blade that severs the kings head from his body. Just fulfilling that death promise that she made with her vulgar gesture before being fully submerged in the cauldron in ACMOAF. Loved it.

When Amren betrayed Feyre I was pissed, but only because I didn't understand what Amren intended to do. For a second I thought Amren was going to completely turn on her, and say she was fighting with Hybern, and had been this whole time. But then we realize that she just figured out the only way to stop him and his army is if she is transformed into her original body, the one that would make her forget who Feyre, Rhys, and the others are. It was a sad reality, but one they couldn't risk not having.

AND RHYS. OH. MY. GOD. When he died.... I think all of us readers died a little inside too. But it didn't actually hit me as hard as when I thought Cassian and Nesta were going to die. And that is simply because I didn't believe that SJM would kill Rhys off like that. She's a dreamer, and a lover, and I just couldn't accept that she would leave Feyre to live her immortal life without her mate! Where as for Cassian and Nesta... It just seemed like that could actually happen. Thank the Mother it did not!

The part that really killed me was when Feyre realizes Rhys is dead and is shouting, begging, for the other High Lords to do something to, "BRING HIM BACK." I was a blubbery mess. Until Tarquin, the youngest of the High Lords, steps forward and says to him, "For what he gave. Today and for many years before." And he is the first to give him an ounce of his power. This was so touching to me because Tarquin had sent them blood rubies, had thought them to be liars and thieves. But he then sees that it is not who they are, that they want peace just as he does. When all the other High Lords gave their powers I was really holding my hopes high, that Rhys would indeed survive. But then Tamlin... I was afraid he wouldn't give up his powers to Rhys, and poor Feyre Darling was begging him saying she would give him anything. And then my heart just broke further when he said to her, "Just be happy, Feyre." This is where he redeemed himself for me. That he FINALLY sees that Feyre is indeed happy with Rhys, as High Lady of the Night Court. And while he is still bitter about it probably, and is a real man-bitch to Lucien, I'm happy he at least accepts what Feyre desires now, and helped her to continue her happiness. I also thought it was neat to see the High lords give their powers to Rhys, gently pouring a bit of their magical light onto his bare throat. We didn't see this in ACMOAF since Feyre was dead so it was neat. But one thing that I'm questioning is just the whole process...If the seven High Lords can bring back the dead, why don't they do it all the time? I understand for a mortal they would be giving away their powers as they did to Feyre and they don't want that, but for a High Lord... Well, Rhys didn't steal any of their powers. So basically, if they can do this, the High Lords can never die and will always be able to come back to life, so long as they all agree upon it...Interesting. Unless there are some rules about this that we do not know of yet.

When Rhys awoke and Amren too was returned to them- that shocked me! I was-and still am- surprised that not a single one of the inner circle died or was sent back to where they came from. I'm not saying I wanted any of them too, but it all just seemed so... perfect to have them all end up back together. While Amren no longer has her abilities she had before, she is now High Fae and can maybe learn to train and fight as they would- if she even needs it. I also have to admit, that while I adore the little romances, I kind of prefer Amren on her own. She is just so independent and bad ass, so while I liked her with Varian, I'm not sure I want them to be mates.

AND MOR!!! Tell me that scene where she comes out to Feyre didn't kill you on the inside, splitting your heart into 1000 tiny pieces???? It all makes sense. Why she did what she did with Cassian to avoid being married to Eris, why she could never let herself be with Azriel because while it would mean close to nothing for her, as it had with previous men she'd been with, it would mean a lot to him. It just made my heart grow. And what made it grow even more was Feyre's reaction. She let Mor speak, and gave her the absolute most respect, understanding, and acceptance. I especially loved that she told Mor she wouldn't tell anyone, not even Rhys, which is SO important, because a gay or lesbian person should have the full right to declare the time and manner of when and to who they come out. I love that SJM incorporates this kind of diversity in her books. We also have Thesan, High Lord of the Dawn court who is gay and mated to his captain. Then there's Helion, High Lord of the Day court, who is bisexual. I adored these characters and loooooved learning about the courts more and meeting their High Lords. I really loved the descriptions of the Winter Court; the white foxes wearing little vests, the white bears, the long blue overcoats with white rabbit fur at the trims. And of course, Kallias and his wife Vivianne. I really adored them too.

And then we have those three beautiful monsters. The Bone Carver, the Weaver, and Bryaxis. I was SHOOK when Feyre realized that the Bone Carver was being seen to her as her and Rhys' possible future son. SHOOK I TELL YOU! And when Rhys quietly asked what he looked like and Feyre showed him with her mind... *heart breaks 1213344123 more times*

I was sad when he died, surprisingly. I was never attached to the Bone Carver but... Just when Feyre said that she wishes that he goes to wherever it is he imagined, since he was so fascinated by death, and she sent a prayer to him... That part got me.

When Stryga, the Weaver died... Well I was sad but only because she was fighting for the good side. I think that character is so fascinating and creepy and just... That scene in the Weavers cottage in ACOMAF is one I'll never forget for sure. And when Feyre goes back there in ACOWAR, luring Ianthe and that other guy with her, omg SHOOK AGAIN!! Feyre knew not to close the door, knowing well it would lock, and pinned Ianthe inside while telling the Weaver she brought her dinner. What a vicious, deserving death for Ianthe. Good riddance.

And that poor Suriel... I wonder what it's name was. Feyre is honestly like a disney princess, having all the woodland animals like her and get along with her. She was so respectful to ask for Helion's cape and lay it overtop the Suriel. I feel like it is a debt that no other Suriel will ever not know of or forget. And their father!!! When he came with those ships, three of which were named after his daughters my heart was aching. It just bound their bond a bit tighter, since well, there wasn't really a bond between the four of them at all before. It showed that he is sorry for not being the father he wished he could be, but that he loved them dearly, and was now trying to make things right. He was not away on merchant business as they had thought, but had heard of the betrayal of the mortal queens and sought to find Vassa and Drakon and Myriam who Lucien then brought to the battle. When he died... I mean, I wasn't super connected to him, nor were his three daughters I have to say, but it was indeed sad, just because he was there, fighting for them, loving them even as they were Fae.

And Jurian?? Thank goodness he was on the good side. I'd like to learn more about him as well as Drakon and Myriam. Their stories weren't the most interesting to me, but still I'd like to know more!

While this book surely closed some ties- more so with Rhys and Feyre. I am SO happy they live happily together, laying over Velaris. Although I'm sure they will be facing a little more turmoil in the books to come. What with the mortal queens never showing up to war and all.

Gawd I wonder what's in store for us next??? I'm hoping we see more from the inner circle. I want to see Mor happy with a girlfriend, to have her father either accept it or just be completely thrown out of the picture (good riddance again) and to have Azriel know so that he doesn't think anything is wrong with him. MAN I loved him in this book. He's so shy and mysterious and just... *heart eyes* I also hope he finds a lover-not that you need a lover to be happy but... you know. I kind of like him and Elain together... Anyone else?? I mean, he gave her his SWORD!!!! TRUTH TELLER!!! I know that Elain and Lucien are mates and all, but I said in my review of ACOMAF that it seemed to come out of now where, and it certainly didn't seem to click into place in this book. Elain did not accept the mating bond, nor did she make him food, and she hardly ever spoke to him. If anything, I think they could be friends. Perhaps this will be an example of how the mating bond is not always right, since it's somewhat connected to bearing the strongest offspring, but there's waaaaaay more to a relationship than that of course. Maybe Lucien will find some other lover/mate? I've heard others thoughts of him possibly being with Vassa?? I wonder if Feyre will free her of her firebird curse; Firebird by day, normal female by night.

I also want to see what happens with Nesta and Cassian. Because I SHIP IT SO HARD, MAN. I also want to see if Amren and Varian do end up together or not. It did indeed break my heart when Varian was pleading with Feyre and Amren saying no to her going into the cauldron. But still... Amren is so strong and sassy she can be a bad ass High Fae all on her own without any man.

AND UMMM Lucien is related to Helion!!!!!!!!!!! It all makes sense... He doesn't look like any of his brothers or his father, and this would explain why his fathers and brothers hate him so much. His mother had an affair with Helion, who doesn't even know that Lucien is his son!! How will this play out??? Will Lucien find out somehow? Will he be told? Will Helion discover it?? ORRRR!!!!! Will Helion die, and then boom the new High lord of the Day Court is Lucien and he didn't even know.... THAT would be a shock for him to say the very least.

Also can we talk about the glorious fan art???? It's basically exactly as I picture the Inner Circle to look. Charlie Bowater is seriously talented. Her recent work has Cassian in a man bun-- Like Guys COME ON!!! *heart eyes x 1000* I seriously need the colouring books now, both ACOTAR and ToG. I neeeeeed themmmmmm.

And speculation on an ACOTAR movie??? I mean HELL TO THE YES but the casting would need to be spot on AND it would have to be really, really true to the books. Not holding anything back just to make it suitable for all audiences. War is bloody. War is brutal. It can't be toned down. And for the sexy time scenes well... Maybe it would be sort of like an HBO show ;)

WELL. That was a long one. I love Sarah J MAAS' books. I always thought I loved Throne Of Glass so much more... but now they are pretty even. I can't wait for the next instalments, although it is going to be VERY difficult to wait all the way until 2018 for them. In the meantime... Guess I'll just be rereading them and reading up on some theories for the latter books! What are yours??? I've read some theories for connections between the ToG and ACOTAR universe and it's mind blowing guys, mind blowing.

1000/5 Stars on glorious Star Fall in Velaris. *sighs* Now on to bingeing all the ACOWAR reviews, and perhaps buying an ACOTAR universe themed candle, while I remain in what may just be my largest book hangover yet.... although EoS did give me a huge one too.

What are your thoughts on ACOWAR? I'd LOOOOOVEEE to know and talk all about it! Send me a message or reply to this chat!

As always, thanks for reading.

- T