#and then in my head Greta is also a song bird so she can be a Carolina Wren or a Black-Capped Chickadee as a treat

[mbirnsings-71]

YOU'RE WELCOME JAY PLEASE-

ITS BEEN BROUGHT 2 MY ATTENTION THAT ALLENS HUMMINGBIRDS EXISTS SO UHM

THIS IS BART ALLEN BIRD UH HUH

IF I EVER DRAW BART W/WINGS YK WAHT IM REFERANCING NOW

[imagine-loki]

Pride and Prejudice

TITLE: Pride and Prejudice CHAPTER NO./ONE SHOT: Chapter 63 AUTHOR: wolfpawn

ORIGINAL IMAGINE: Imagine Loki was raised on Jotunheim as Laufey’s son after the war, but an agreement was then made that he would wed Odin’s daughter so Odin could secure the alliance of Jotunheim through the marriage. Loki, in turn, was raised to be king of Jotunheim, but how he views Asgard is far different from how Odin’s daughter is raised leading to a clash of cultures as well as uncertainty between the pair of betrothed youths.     RATING: Mature   NOTES/WARNINGS: Forced Marriage, not all fun and games. My first real step back into the Loki scene in over a year.

Tags - @skulliebythesea @asimovethroughthisworld @blackcherry26-blog @we-shadowhunter2901

Like before, Ella stood by Loki’s side, telling him names, positions and other facts he needed to know about the multitude of beings that they met. Many of them, Loki recognised from the battle that had taken place but many more he did not know anything of. They came from all realms to celebrate the victory they had together. Alfheim, though ravaged by the war, had been repaired, especially with the assistance of Gungnir before it had come into Ella’s possession. With her seidr, she assisted Helbindi also. Býleistr merely stood back having made mention he did not like the idea of her speaking into his head. She respected that but that led to him having to wait for one of his brothers to speak names before he could join in conversations. Were it not for the severity of the issue and the insult it could cause, more than once, Helbindi was tempted to give him the wrong information to make him seem like an idiot but he knew better than to embarrass their family in such a manner. 

For her part, Ella acted as she always did at events. Socialised as required, assisted her party with details and other such things. The main speaking point for so many was her being in possession of Gungnir, as all had heard such but could not believe what they were hearing so came to see with their eyes. She smiled politely and discussed different matters with every sort of being. 

“How does she know everything?” Loki looked to the side to see Býleistr staring over at Ella. “What does she do to…”

“She listens. It’s not a difficult trait to master so long as you learn the preceding step of learning to shut your mouth for longer than fifteen seconds so that others may speak. She hears what they say and listens.” Loki explained, long used to Ella’s manner of doing things and having learnt a little something from her by doing it himself.

“Listening and hearing are the same thing, Brother,” Býleistr scoffed. 

“Do you really think so?” That caused Býleistr to look curiously at his brother. “We hear noises all the time. Birds, workers, all sorts of noises but can you tell what song they sang on recollection later that day? No, you don’t. When you listen, you take in the words or the song, therein lies the difference.” Býleistr opened his mouth to respond. “And those who merely wait for someone else to cease speaking simply so they can begin cannot ever be truly listening either. That shows all you care about is getting to say what you want to say.” 

Býleistr stood silent for a few moments. “I am older than you.” 

The manner in which he spoke told Loki it was not a petulant retort but a stunned one. “You are older than both of us and we are both smarter than you, age is nothing to intelligence,” Loki smirked before walking off. 

* “You may not look entirely like either of your parents as your brother does, but I have to say, Your Highness, you have your their airs.” A Ljosolfar dignitary commented to Ella. 

“Thank you for your lovely words.” Ella bowed slightly as she spoke. “And for assisting with hosting this lovely event. I heard it was you that not only provided the wide array of food before us from this realm but procured food from other realms to suit the inter-realm guests. Your consideration is noted amongst those of Jotunheim.”

The Light Elf’s chest puffed out proudly. “Why thank you, My Dear, I do what I can to consider the requirements of others.” 

Ella gave a slight nod and a knowing smile. She had learned years before how to stroke the ego of those who sought such to assist in manners. There was a key to such, she learnt. Not too much, as that caused egos to go unchecked, but not too little, which could thwart a good situation. She noted Loki and indeed his brothers and their mates were watching her with intrigue but acted in no way different as she made her way through those she needed to be seen to speak to. Finally, she came to a being she could not ignore any longer. “Not drinking tonight? Are you sober in solidarity with me?” “Shut up.” Thor looked down at the shorter figure of his younger sibling. “Should you even be travelling, considering?” “I don’t see any reason not to. I am not on bedrest, thankfully and I have time to go yet.” “That and you can’t help but want to be at these things. How do you not find them boring?” 

Ella rolled her eyes. “Because this is what you and I were raised to do, remember?”

“I really wish you were male sometimes.” Ella frowned at her brother’s statement. “You were made for this. I never was. I am made to go into the forests and go hunting. Go to taverns and speak about sport and other such matters. I am not made for stuffy rooms of people who dislike you or want something from you, or often both. I...It exhausts me.” “That side of things would exhaust anyone. I often think those who want the duty of leader are not always the best suited to the position. They want it for their ego.” “Your husband wanted to be king.” “No, he did not want to be king, he knows he is best suited to it and therein lies the difference. He is not in the position he is in for personal gain. He took a mate from an entirely different realm, he lost the one he loved for me so that he would do what was right for Jotunheim.” Ella informed him. 

“So that was the reluctance, another?” Ella said nothing, having long forgotten that Thor did not know that. “How do you live with that? How are you alright with knowing he did not want you because he had another?” “I had no choice and neither did he. It is what it is.” “That is why I don’t have anyone, getting attached is never recommended in our position.” 

Ella cocked her head slightly. “I thought you could not…” “Find someone to endure me?” Thor finished for her before chuckling. “I can and do but all I ever think about is you.” Her face contorted slightly in confusion. “Dragged there because of an agreement made before you were born. That is what gets me every time I think about it, Ella. You weren’t even born and your life was mapped out for you. I...I don’t want that.” 

Ella looked around to ensure none were too close to hear her brother’s words. She knew he had a few sexual conquests over the years. One part she disliked about her ability to go between crowds and listen was that she often heard things she felt too private for the busy bustling courtrooms, one such topic being her brother’s sexual partners and their comments on him. She had never considered that he would willingly make such a choice to avoid relationships. “So what is the plan, to die childless? I doubt the people of Asgard would approve of that.” “No, I will wed as I am required to do and I will father children, as per my duty also, if I am fortunate but I will not partake in relationships that cannot lead to such. I am too scared of loving another only for it to come to an end for my duty.” He gave her a playful smile after that. “You are not being forced to have more children to fill our throne too.” “Your throne. The throne of Jotunheim is the throne my allegiance is to now.” Ella reminded him. 

“Is that weird for you?” Thor asked. “If tomorrow, Jotunheim and Asgard were enemies once more, what would be your position?”

“I honestly cannot tell.” Ella looked at her stomach. “My son is to be king of Jotunheim someday. My mate is king, so by right, I stand with them but do I ignore my brother, my father?” She shrugged slightly. “What of you? Could you wield Mjolnir against me? Could you call forth lighting and point it at me with intent to kill?” 

Thor physically baulked at the idea. Ella smiled knowingly. “Why are we talking more now than we ever did when you were in Asgard?” Thor half demanded. 

“We spoke on occasion there too,” Ella smiled. 

“No, we merely made small talk. This is far more deep and substantial,” Thor pointed out. 

“Being honest, I did not think you wanted to speak with me on such matters. You seemed far more interested in going hunting and drinking. I prefer these sorts of pursuits, talking with others, seidr, potions, the usual really. What was it you called me through the years, a witch?” “Well, those are witching pursuits. You never dressed like one though.” 

“Hats are not really my thing.” Ella jested, causing Thor to laugh. “I think we are too different to be close. Or perhaps it was just that we used to be too young to look past them and now we are too distant to work on it.”

 “Perhaps. I guess only the Norns can tell now,” Thor sighed before leaning back against a nearby column. 

*

“What do you think they are discussing?” Býleistr looked over at Ella and Thor as they spoke. 

Helbindi, Greta and Angrboða all turned to see who he was referencing. 

“Probably about their parents,” Greta commented. “They are getting old, after all and Ella always states she is not overly close to Prince Thor.” 

“Most likely,” Helbindi agreed. 

Angrboða merely nodded, thinking the same but entirely unbothered to even think about it. 

Býleistr eyed them carefully for another moment.

“You’re already getting into Loki’s bad books about this trip.” Helbindi warned. “Suggesting his mate is conspiring when all those in possession of sight and even those without can see that she is relaxed and not looking around suspiciously, nor is he, suggesting there is nothing being discussed that would warrant such behaviour.” 

Býleistr could not argue the validity of the statement. Both siblings seemed to be comfortable as they spoke, if anything, they looked overly informal in their mannerisms. “I will not apologise for wanting to keep us safe.” “Firstly, no one asked for an apology. Secondly, good that you want to protect our family but might I remind you, Ella is part of this family too.” Helbindi pointed out. “That is your nephew she carries, not to mention our future king.” He turned to Angrboða. “I know you are not overly fond of Ella but get him to see sense.” “Alma and I tell him all the time but he continues to be suspicious.” Angrboða shrugged. “It’s getting better. Now it is merely suspicion, before it was far worse.” Angrboða still was not friendly with Ella. They shared too few interests to allow for a meeting of minds but because of all the duties both had to deal with together and with Ella staying true to her statement that she would defend Angrboða should she require so by virtue of them being the one house, there was an understanding between the pair. With Alma, Greta and Ella all carrying, none of them wanted there to be any animosity between them and Angrboða most certainly did not want to be blamed if any of the mates, especially Alma suffered stress due to the situation and it affected the babies.

“Honestly, ‘Leist, stop worrying. If you’re busy thinking someone within our home, your brother’s mate, is our enemy, then you are going to be blind to our actual enemies until they are close enough to stab you through the back.” Helbindi warned. “Greta, ‘Boða, come on.” He urged both mates away to let Býleistr think about what he had said. 

[tpwktaron]

My Quarantine Watchlist

hello! i hope this post finds you in good health. today i decided to go a little out of my category of what i usually post and make a movie watchlist. if you haven’t seen what i usually repost, i’m a huge movie buff, and are always adding new films to my watchlist. (you should add me on letterboxd! same username.) so, i compiled a list of my top 10 movies. some of them aren’t considered to be critically acclaimed, but they are still comforting and happy, especially during this rough time we are having. i hope you give these a try, and let me know what you think! disclaimer: i am not a movie expert! some terminology i use is definitely not correct lol. 

1. rocketman - dir. dexter fletcher, 89%

this movie really means so much to me, it’s definitely one of my absolute favorites. taron egerton does an absolutely amazing job as elton john, not just through his performance but his through his singing. yes, he sings the music as well! the music is also perfectly placed throughout the movie to tell the story of elton john’s life. 

synopsis: pretty self explanatory; a musical fantasy about the life of elton john.

2. onward - dir. dan scanlon - 87%

really awesome pixar movie! definitely a great movie for anyone who is a fan of animation, some of the most beautifully animated scenes i have ever seen! i guess that’s just pixar for you. 

synopsis: a teenage elf ian lightfoot and his brother barley are given a spell to bring their late father back to life, but when they mess up the first time, they have to go on a quest to find a phoenix gem to bring him back.

3. eddie the eagle - dir. dexter fletcher - 82%

another masterpiece by the dexter fletcher and taron egerton! this is my favorite movie of all time. it’s so heartwarming and motivating, it’s a great pick-me-up film for when i’m feeling down. taron egerton is definitely a chameleon actor, and can slip into any role with ease! him and hugh jackman have such great chemistry, and this movie easily displays that.

synopsis: based on a true story, olympics-bound eddie edwards trains for the winter olympics as a ski jumper, one of the most dangerous sports in the world, with help from his drunken “coach,” bronson peary.

4. lady bird - dir. greta gerwig - 99%

ugh. this movie. i can’t! when i first watched it it left me speechless. it’s an outstanding coming-of-age film, and a great mother-daughter film as well. christine and her mom’s relationship is hilariously heartwarming. another touch i love is the grainy filter throughout the movie. it was a great touch to add an early 2000′s feel! saoirse ronan’s performance was extraordinary. everything about this movie is 10/10, and i cannot recommend this movie enough, especially to teenagers heading off the college.

synopsis: marion mcpherson, a nurse, works tirelessly to keep her family afloat after her husband loses his job. she also maintains a turbulent bond with a teenage daughter who is just like her: loving, strong-willed and deeply opinionated.

5. love, simon - greg berlanti - 92%

love, simon is a perfectly made film to demonstrate the experience of coming out as a gay teen. it’s funny and witty, with some heart-warming yet heart-wrenching drama. i can’t explain it, but this movie makes me feel things i didn’t think i could feel. nick robinson is a great actor, and this movie got paid dust!! by everyone!!

synopsis: everyone deserves a great love story, but for 17-year-old simon spier, it’s a little more complicated. he hasn’t told his family or friends he’s gay, and he doesn’t know the identity of the anonymous classmate that he’s fallen for online. resolving both issues proves hilarious, terrifying, and life-changing.

6. jojo rabbit - dir. taika watiti - 80%

when i first saw this movie in the theater, i wasn’t sure if i was going to like it. i’m not a fan of war movies and violence, so i was a little uneasy. turns out this could possibly be one of the best movies of 2019! roman griffin davis is the best child actor i’ve ever seen. this movie is a wonderful depiction of anti-hate, and of what life was like for germany during world war II. it shows in a funny way how silly nazi views are. it creates humor over such a sensitive subject, yet you don’t feel bad for laughing!

synopsis: a world war II satire that follows a lonely german boy whose world view is turned upside down when he discovers his single mother is hiding a young jewish girl in their attic. aided only by his idiotic imaginary friend, adolf hitler, jojo must confront his blind nationalism.

7. little women - dir. greta gerwig - 95%

greta gerwig strikes again! she literally has never made a bad movie. this movie is based off of the famous novel little women. it has a star studded cast of timothee chalament, saoirse ronan, florence pugh, emma watson, and laura dern. the power of women!!

synopsis: in the years after the civil war, jo march lives in new york and makes her living as a writer, while her sister amy studies painting in paris. amy has a chance encounter with theodore, a childhood crush who proposed to jo but was ultimately rejected. their oldest sibling, meg, is married to a schoolteacher, while shy sister beth develops a devastating illness that brings the family back together.

8. the greatest showman - dir. michael gracey - 56%

my favorite original musical movie. hugh jackman is such an amazing singer and actor! this movie was one of the first movies that really turned me into a true film admirer. the music has some of the most beautifully written lyrics i know, and it’s a great family movie! it’s intense, yet happy, yet sad, yet exciting, yet every single emotion one person could feel. 

synopsis: growing up in the early 1800s, p.t. barnum displays a natural talent for publicly and promotion, selling lottery tickets by age 12. after trying his hands at various jobs, p.t. turns to show business to indulge his limitless imagination, rising form nothing to create the barnum & bailey circus. 

9. bohemian rhapsody - dir. bryan singer - 60%

although it may have it’s inaccuracies here and there, this movie is still heartwarming and conveys a heartwarming message and moral. rami malek performs as freddie mercury wonderfully, and the chemistry between the cast is indescribable. and what takes the cake? the live-aid re-enactment at the end of the movie, with the band’s mannerisms and everything recreated to the t. 

synopsis: freddie mercury - lead singer of queen - defies stereotypes and convention to become one of history’s most beloved entertainers. the band’s revolutionary sound and popular songs lead to queen’s meteoric rise in the 1970s. after leaving the group to pursue a solo career, mercury reunites with queen for the benefit concert live aid - resulting in one of the greatest performances in rock ‘n’ roll history.

10. anchorman - dir. adam mckay - 66%

my favorite comedy of all time. will ferrell, steve carrell, and paul rudd are all my favorite comedians, so this movie speaks to me. it’s hilariously stupid, but i still love it and recommend it to everyone i know.

synopsis: hotshot television anchorman ron burgandy welcomes upstart reporter veronica corningstone into the male-dominated world of 1970s broadcast news - that is, until the talented female journalist begins to outshine burgandy on air.

[allthingskiszka]

My Favorite Asshole Pt.2

This is a Jake Kiszka x reader story but will involve the others. 

This will be a multiple part story and pretty lengthy, I also may be slow to upload because my work schedule is pretty crazy. with that being said here we go!!! (p.s sorry about any errors I will proof-read but may miss something)

Word Count: +1,600

Part One

As the 8th-period bell rang you and Ronnie walked towards the parking lot to meet her brothers and Danny at Josh’s van. You saw a very run down Volkswagon van come into view and a curly-headed Josh laughing and making jokes with a group of teens. You then felt a presence next to you when you looked up you came face to face with Sam, he had the brightest smile on his face.

“How was your first day, songbird?”

“Songbird, I don’t know about that; but today has been better then I imagined” you said with a slight laugh

“Oh you don’t like it, gives me even more reason to call you it, and of course today was better then you expected, you got to meet a really tall, very sexy, long-haired man”

you just rolled your eyes “yeah in your dreams Sammy, you’re not my type and you aren’t a man you’re a boy.”

“Oooo feisty, I like it. If I’m not your type then what is, because I’m everyone's type”

“That’s none of your business, but I can assure you, your not it”

“Wow, that hurt” Sam said with a slight laugh you just rolled your eyes and let out a small laugh when you got to the van you looked around and saw that everyone was there but Jake. You guys joked around for a bit and you looked in the distance and saw Jake walking towards you all holding hand with some girl. For some reason, this bothered you because while Sam wasn’t your type, Jake sure was. You just turned your head as they were a few feet away and started to talk to Ronnie. You heard Josh's voice break through all conversation

“Well if it isn’t the two love birds, Who take there time? We are all waiting on you Jake” Josh said with an annoyed tone to his voice.

“Whoa man, Take a chill pill. I was just walking Sarah to her car. Give me two seconds” you looked back at Ronnie with wide eyes she whispers in your ear 

“Josh can’t stand Jake’s girlfriend, well we all can’t stand her.” you just silently shake your head you guys pile into the van and wait for Jake to get back to the Van. When he got in he immediately started in with Josh.

“What the hell man, why do you have to be such an ass?”

“Me you're the one that took your sweet ass time getting to the van”

“Whatever man just lay-off next time, She doesn’t deserve to be shit on by you all the time”

“Bro, she legit has cheated on you twice and is a total bitch” you were taken aback by this, this is when Sam butts in

“While I agree with Josh, we should drop it. Let Jake get his heart broken again.”

“Fuck off Sam nobody asked you” this was getting extremely heated just as Sam was going to speak Ronnie cuts him off

“Hey all, this isn’t the time or place. You all need to calm down, Jake try to be on time, Josh bit your tongue next time, and Sam don’t go so far next time.”

“Whatever” Jake said with a huff. The drive to their place was pretty quiet Josh had to turn on some music. As Josh turns left on a country road Van Morrison- Into The Mystic starts to play.

“Hey Josh, can you turn this up, it’s one of my favorites” 

“Sure thing” as the song grew louder you started to softly sing you heard Josh and Sam join in and Ronnie just sway to the music; as the song fades Danny spoke

“Holy shit y/n, you’ve got pipes, Sam was right”

“Told you Danny songbird could replace Josh if he ever gets too annoying” Sam said with a laugh

“Thanks, Danny I dabble, and Sam if you call me songbird one more time I’ll kill you, also what am I replacing Josh in?”

“Our band, and I’m not scared of you one-bit songbird” Sam said in a sing-songy voice

“Hey, hey, hey nobody is replacing me in anything, but I dig the nickname. Your officially songbird”

“No, I am not” you say with a slight laugh

“I kinda like it too” Danny Said 

“I won’t call you that if you don’t want to be called that. But I can’t control these fools” Ronnie said with a giggle the van finally came to a stop. Jake was the first one out of the van and in the house, he slammed both doors in the process.

“He has such an attitude problem sometimes, sorry if it makes you feel awkward you’ll get used to it tho” Sam said reassuringly

“Yeah it’s super bad when Sarah is in the picture” Josh said quietly

“You should watch us practice later, we love getting new fans” Sam said with a laugh

“Oh totally, I have some homework and lines to practice, but I down.”

We walked in and Ronnie gave me a small tour of the house and we went and sat our stuff at the kitchen table to do our homework. About 2 hours had past and you guys just finished last of your homework Ronnie spoke up

“I’m gonna jump in the shower real quick before I start cooking dinner, do you want to see if Josh or Jake wants to run lines with you?”

“Sure” you guys got up and walked up the stairs towards Josh room you knocked but there was no answer 

“Maybe he went out, let's go see if Jakes in his room” you reached the last door at the end of the hall and Ronnie knocked softly you hear some light music playing in the background and footsteps coming to the door. As Jake opens the door he starts to speak 

“Josh, I told you to leave me be until after dinner...” as the door opens all the way your face to face with very annoyed jake, his face soon relaxes when he realizes it’s you and Ronnie

“Hey dork, Do you know where Josh is we can’t find him?”

“Nah, he was annoying me about an hour ago but I flipped out on him, he may have gone to the store”

“Oh okay, I’m gonna jump in the shower do you want to help run lines with y/n until I’m out?” Jake seemed to be taking back a little bit

“Sure, She probably needs all the help she can get.” he quickly recovered from his initial reaction.

“Cool, just don’t be a dick”

“Okay Ronnie” He said with an eye roll he then looked at you and opened his door wider letting you in you took a seat on the little couch he had by his window he closed the door and walked towards the record player

“What do you want to listen to?”

“I’m down for anything” your eye wandered down the back of him he was wearing grey joggers that fit him perfectly and a t-shirt that was a little cropped when he bent down to grab a new record his shirt lifted a little revealing his back you zoned a little and as he turned around you were still looking at him.

“Hey y/l/n my eyes are up here” he said with a smirk on his face

“Don’t flatter yourself Jake, I just zoned out” you could feel the heat rise to your cheeks but you quickly got in your bag and pulled out the script

“Don’t worry about it, I zone out all the time staring at people asses” he said with a laugh

“Whatever, do you want to get started”

“Sure” He sat down at the chair at his desk and you guys read your lines, sharing laughs when you messed up, and also getting to know each other a little bit. Time flew by next thing you know Ronnie was knocking at the door interrupting you and jake from your concentration. 

“Foods done, Get your asses down here. Mom and dad aren’t joining us I guess they are on a business trip. for the rest of the week.”

“What trip, they didn’t even tell us about it”

“Don’t ask me, maybe they just wanted to get away for the madness that is this house, How’s it going you guys feel confident in the parts?”

“We’re pretty much guaranteed the parts, Mrs.Jones always gives it to the soloist shes already picked in choir” Jake spoke you met the rest of the crew downstairs and start to eat, small talk broke out and Josh planned a little party for Saturday, You all spoke and joked around Jake even joined in which took you by surprise because he had been so quite previously. As you all finished the boys dragged you and Ronnie out to the garage so they could practice and play for you. As they started to play your eyes were immediately on Jake they way he played the guitar was unlike anything you have ever seen, you soon were broken out of your trance by the sound of Josh’s vocals your eyes start to drift around to each of the boys they all looked like they were having so much fun, you always found your way back to Jake, he caught you staring once and just smiled at you, you shook your head and looked a Sam he was on the keys having the absolute time of his life. You turned to Ronnie,

“They are really good like I’m shocked”

“Extremely good, they make me so proud”

“Nobody plays music like this anymore, What’s their band name?”

“Greta Van Fleet”

“I defiantly am not replacing Josh” you both laughed and went back to jamming out as the boy's practice came to an end Josh asked you what you thought.

“That was fucking incredible, like amazing your voice, Sam on bass and Keys, Danny’s drumming, and Jake on guitar, I mean come on, it amazing you guys are amazing”

“Thank’s songbird” Sam spoke

“Did you zone out at all y/l/n” Jake said with a cocky smirk on his face

“At times yes only during the guitar solos, they were kinda boring” you said with a laugh everyone joined in and jake just shook his head with a smile.

“Hey all as fun as this has been it’s getting kinda late, I think I should be heading home” you spoke “Me too” said Danny

“Yeah okay, I can take you guys” Josh spoke

“I’ll tag along” Ronnie said

As you climbed in the van your mind drifted to Jake. How could he have a girlfriend, this is just your luck. It’s probably for the best because you really like these guys no need to ruin that by falling for Jake. You guys drove in the night listening to music and talking. You couldn't wait to spend more time with the five of them. 

Tags @captainxmoony @lunautica13

[beforethebridge]

Aligning Body and Mind Through Music 2K19

On January 1, 2019, I started developing what would become a list of 500+ albums that I planned to actively listen to throughout the year. I drew from favorites in my own music library, top-of-xxxx year album lists (from critics and aggregator sites), and friend suggestions, pulling together albums that I’ve either loved, knowingly disregarded, or that hold some apparent cultural importance/reverence that I haven’t yet appreciated. Some that I knew I wouldn’t really enjoy made it on the list, alongside others I knew would feel like ecstacy. Since then, the list has grown as I’ve added albums I just completely overlooked and exciting albums that are released throughout 2019. I’m aiming to give an active, full-attention listen to each album, filling in my knowledge gaps about the artists and their careers by reading up on album reviews and wikipedia pages after listening. 

Music influences my mood and helps me achieve a feeling I’m seeking when clicking on the songs and albums. More importantly, though, music also to help me access the physical manifestations of the emotions driving me toward that particular artist/genre/album in the first place. 

While I’m usually able to recognize and examine my moods and emotions in a sort of objective, factual manner, I often struggle to physically feel and externalize those emotions. I can feel locked up, disjointed, misaligned, and removed from my emotions in a aggravatingly perpetual way. Music helps me work through this frustration. With the right hook, beat, vocal strain, vulnerable expression, or harmony, an artist can identify and unearth the physical reaction that I'm craving in the moment, helping me process my mood and align my body with my mind. 

As I listen to and follow the lyrics of each album on this list, I’m paying close attention to my physical reactions to the music and lyrics. I track my head bops, corner smiles, ability to focus, breathing patterns, and tears. Sometimes I’m feeling empathy for the artists, but more often I’m internalizing what they’re externalizing... picking up what they’re putting down, I guess. Once I’m finished with the album, I select my favorite tracks (adding some to my top track of all time list), assign arbitrary genres, a loose 1-10 rating (more like 5-10), and, most importantly, categorize my emotional and physical reactions to the album with mood descriptors. 

As I fill in the excel bubbles I’m using to track all of this, I’m building a musical fleet of soldiers, therapists, best friends, lovers, and uppers that I will know I can always call up when I need to match my body to my mood. The end goal here is to pull albums together in Spotify by mood category, so when I pull up spotify and know I want to feel angry, or happy-yell in the car, or process through a loner mood, I’ll have entire lists ready to glue me together or pull me apart.

At this point, I’m far behind pace to reach 500 listens by the end of the year, but it doesn’t matter. I’m loving the time I’m spending investing real, purposeful attention to the art. In the process, I’m discovering new favorites and coming to love old music that I’ve neglected. I’ve also been learning what it really means to pay attention to myself as I listen. One thing has become very apparent - the nun character in Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird is spot on when she questions, “Don’t you think they’re the same thing? Love and attention?” 

[sole-cuore-amore-e-droga]

Tel Aviv 2019: Straight outta Estonia to Eurovision with a lowkey tribute to Avicii soundwise I guess

I’m not one of those people to go all their way out to overdefend Eesti Laul as “THE most diverse NF to ever exist songwise”, but even I was disappointed in this sudden rush of radiofriendly pop music that I would rather refuse to describe if I had to endure any of them ever again all at once this year. Remember - Netta won with being CRAZY! Why can’t Estonia be CRAZY even more! Was this secretly a bigger demand from the new producers or so that Estonia would need to out-radiofriendly the Latvians whose goal actually was to find a good radiofriendly song that’s enough for qualification????

Also, I kind of wanted to watch Eesti Laul, but I haven’t really settled with it, as I didn’t have enough patience to watch it one time it wasn’t on Saturday (!!). Even with Eesti Laul usually taking the live tweets from foreign fans into account and displaying some of them on the national Estonian television for good measure. And often showcasing their weirdness through crude animations every so often. But I already saw my Twitter timeline being full of that stuff, and for that I’m happy.

I did have some favourites despite being tired of all this pop stuff, and one of them was the ever-so-gender-ambiguous INGER (I say so cuz I thought it was a guy, turns out it’s a she, yeah), and I kind of wanted to see her win after the lowkey last minute interest towards her? But the televote didn’t seem to want any of it during the final public say, and didn’t even want Kerli (not the Spirit Animal Kerli) through despite of her being “hot” (are we now choosing ESC NF winners based on their looks??? tighten up ffs). Instead the final’s televote thought it’d be a good idea to fuck up the international jury’s expectations by putting through an act that got 2(!!!!!) finalised points from them jurors overall and making it win the superfinal. That televote 12 the act got beforehand was just enough for the guy to last-minute qualify over another act of 14 overall points, and who knows, maybe if it wasn’t for that 12, the winner would’ve been someone else. But it didn’t and we have a last minute qualifier victory because televote superfinal is a thing.

And in the literal sense of the way Estonian minds thought their victor that was unfairly treated by the juries was a Swedish singer Victor Crone and his song “Storm”, which was written by the one and only Stig Rastafarian~ err I mean Rästa. Stig is one mythical human creature that never rests a minute without really wanting to appear in the Estonian delegation somewhere every year - whether as all by himself, with someone else, as a songwriter for someone else, or even as part of a band (remember Traffic, anyone? Now that I think of it, the whole band looks like a puppet-act just for Stig to get to Eurovision and the other band members didn’t even want any of it in the first place). Just exactly what is Stig’s aim here? To "take it back to Tallinn”? To meet new people in Europe because he’s too lazy to travel otherwise? To boast about the many Estonian entries he contributed to? Beats me.

That and Victor Crone being Swedish, therefore a man more suited to Melodifestivalen (where he actually once participated in) and only on Eesti Laul because Stig really wanted to save his voice for this one and tag some randomer along with him just for the sake of yearly input to Eesti Laul. Well, at least Victor is historically joining Sahlene and Sandra Oxenryd as “a Swede represending Estonia for a year because what do we know for the Estonians that weren’t chosen instead”. Let’s check his song out.

First and foremost, as the title obviously states, the song reminds me of the late Avicii’s music style, especially around 2012-2013, when he was just starting to get bigger post-”Levels”-release. Just with a bit more singing surrounding the song because... well, maybe to fill up the song some more in order to not look awkward on stage during an instrumental part of the drop being as long as would be one you hear on the radio.

Then he has this easy-listening generic male radio voice that the audiences can not necessarily reasonate with, but it’s memorable, together with the chorus, whose purpose is to be memorable - you don’t need no message that’s special, you just need a melody to hum in your head for the next few weeks, and that’s basically what Stig was able to achieve with this little ditty. Then there’s the amazingly easy song structure: verse - chorus - verse - (extended) chorus - bridge - chorus (+ song ending). That’s a structure that works on basic songs to make them more user-consumption-friendly and not too overbearingly dragged out. And I enjoy it, just like I did “Light Me Up” last year, which was also sung by a mediocre-live-vocalist-Swede that could have easily ended up 6th in Melodifestivalen edition with such song, sadly. I do acknowledge that it’s basic, but I enjoy it.

The problem the Eurofandom finds with this song is that it’s too basic of a song from Eesti, Victor’s proven himself to be a dull live singer, and the chorus rhymes “like this” with “like this”, and all the self-rhymes are automatically shite. And it’s fine if a song I like has its flaws, but it automatically worries me that its live potential is automatically down the drain because of the singer’s lack of vocal compassion or strenght. That begs the question, why choosing THAT kind of song if it’s totally going to underperform live in Eurovision if the singer wasn’t sick in the NF at the time???

...oh I get it now, you Estonians must have thought Stig deserves another year in the Estonian greenroom. Or you found Victor hot. Or you find it great that a song about a storm actually was originally staged to look like Victor’s in a storm. At least for the televiewers’ eye. Because all that they see in the real arenas is the singers’ backs if they don’t turn around in time.

With visuals like these, why even need a music video! (except that there already is one, look at the beginning of the review)

All in all, all condiments are there: just the sugar, spice and everything nice there’s needed for a song like this to break a fandom like this. You can practically smell the Hesburger grease from this song. I don’t care if that’s a bad thing - if you like the song, that’s fine, just shut up and enjoy... but if you dislike it, welp, there’s no way I can change your mind then.

And a random backing singer. Not that she’s helpful as the one for Ott Lepland or anything, she just strikes like thunder and leaves no lasting impact whatsoever.

Greta Salóme’s imaginary cousin, is that you????

Now excuse me while I contradict and repeat myself some more in the next few paragraphs:

Approval factor: As you might have seen me shading Elina a lot last year, I can safely say that at last I’m spared from her vocal practice entrapped in a porcelain-and-silk dressing!!! I like “Storm” myself so I’ll sheepishly approve the hell out of it, lolol. :-)

Follow-up factor: I would be lying if I didn’t say that after a risky-ish way to get all out opera and then coming back to a safe song after doing well with that opera number weren’t a complete nosedive into an empty pool. Subjectively it flows way better for me, but objectively, and the same could be, once again, said for Eesti Lawl [sic] 2019, it is rather interesting of a letdown? But hey, maybe it was finally time for the Estonians to chillax a bit and cave in to send an Estonian-Swedish pop number after the opera stuff, after the 80s synthpop stuff, after the smooth and slightly orchestrated and a little bluesy number, and heart-grabbing ballads... just so they could keep up their ‘variety’ in case Hungary runs out of ideas and starts sending cop-outs of themselves. They already did it with rehashing one artist and one lyrical idea already this year (the catch is that the father’s alive!), honestly. And oddly enough, they have yet to send something a little more modern/electro-influenced that appeals to the common crowd... (”Running” may not count because not everyone can relate, whereas there are more cases of broken-off love (as if in the other half being a heartbreaker or the first half missing the other half so much that they feel “incomplete” than abusive fathers. Just what I think there is? If I’m wrong I obviously expect to be @’ed in the replies section lol) For this conclusion though I’ll say that my opinion says it’s a ‘’’decent’’’ follow up, but for Eurofans, it’s not very much so of such, idk.

Qualification factor: you may think it’s dead while going to perform in between the more badass entries AND mediocre live vocals, but it won’t at least be the worst Stig entry to ever place - around 14th in the semi at the very worst and maybe in the lower half of top 10 at very best imo. Nothing more, nothing less.

NATIONAL FINAL BONUS

I actually barely even bother with Eesti Laul since they don’t accept my Twitter comments live on their television anyways. Say, were there any Twitter comments live on their television this year? No one on Twitter boasted about it if they saw theirs from what I’ve seen, but what I’ve definitely found from the eager Eesti Laul watchers were some casual and usual Estonian oddities thrown on the broadcast, such as:

• The soft and warm but also random and deranged yearly transitional postcard animations (that were refered to as “crude” earlier in this review), which I commonly know now as “my last two braincells”. Even if the graphical theme itself of this year’s Ee-Lawl were oddly-shaped birds coming out in forms of letters, they didn’t really show up much in the broadcast I suppose, and the best fuckery with my mind this year definitely happened when I saw some of THOSE pop up on my Twitter timeline:

We now return to your regularly scheduled news programm~ wait why are you saying that the scheduled programme should be Eesti Laul

• Even if the most acts themselves weren’t that kooky musically, they were obviously interesting performance-wise. We were greeted with an impulsively quirky crazy cat lady Kaia Tamm who bemoaned the absence of the fluffy creatures in German somehow (you know Germany’s a terrible track-record keeper when the only song in German this year featured on Estonia and the only German in Eurovision this year was gonna be sung by an Ukrainian entrant if she was alowed to), as if a song in full Italian from last year wasn’t enough. Not only did she dress up as Alice in Wonderland with kitty ears, but her costumed dancers were entertaining, the violinist was FIRE and a cute large teddy bear looked cute on stage. Not to mention, someone have rightfully noticed that some costumed felines in the audience looked like as if they were to kill someone:

• Lumevärv too is an interesting thing. Never forgetting Lumevärv. This Inga woman, the fiery orangehead she was, used her 3 minutes on stage the best possible way with dancing with her back turned on at the audience and only looking at the camera, while millions of lights (which is sadly not what the songtitle "Milline päev" means) shone in the audience, creating an amazing mood.

• Hey everyone, the 10 years challenge is back! This time it’s with the violin virtuousess(???) Sandra Nurmsalu, the lead of Urban Symphony, who deserved much more than a 3rd place. Unfortunately the Estonians did not bring her back to get her desired revenge, which meant that they thought that they woodn’t need no magic tale fairy that’d grant them tree wishes and let her magic wand our out the wondrous [sic] sawdust. I’m already seeing myself out for how terrible this sounded. And it’s a bit saddening about this not doing as well as some hoped, considering she would have brough out the new and the better Jacques Houdek teas:

• Other favourite act of mine from this year, besides the aforementioned “ever-so-gender-ambiguous-looking INGER” with her indie-folk jingle “Coming Home”, was the charming disco-haired Sissi Nylia Benita with a wholesomely radio bop “Strong”, and they both actually looked like they stood a chance in the superfinal vote-up now that the actual Eesti Laul fan favourites, pretty cute pop boys like piano-indie-pop-driven Stefan and electro-pop-and-Kirkorov-driven Uku Suviste, were not receiving enough support by the juries I guess??? I’ll show a video to INGER if anything and link you all to the rest so you could judge these young and beautiful souls to yourselves in a way!

• Other note-worthy acts include another song about the notorious instrument horsefly in Ee-Lawl’s history that stood even less chance than “Parmupillihullus” but is still fun regardless, and the united forces of Tanja (EE 2014) and Birgit (EE 2013) trying to compose a bigband talk show anthem and dedicating the lyrics for them being ladies with their high heels out on. And honestly, that’s all I’m gonna talk of acts-wise because most other songs were THAT of a radiofriendly-radio-filler that they don’t warrant anything else exciting for me to say.

• No but for real, the voting to the superfinal was completely off-rails. Instead of Victor, juries were there to support that Kerli woman that wasn’t from 2017 (and her soft acoustic song too), as well as Sissi and INGER (but you already know that because I barely read my write-ups before I finish them, hence lots of redundancy). At least that’s all to my knowledge. But everything definitely changed when the televote attacked! And turned the top 3 all male, lol. This voting was rather random simply because the juries didn’t really love Victor, but it definitely took the televote to convince them that “lol Victor is definitely worth of Eurovision!!! screw that he’s non-Estonian!!!” (the difference is that Victor doesn’t have a big social media following unlike Bilal and didn’t win an obnoxiously people-powered talent show unlike USNK from A Dal 2018 - it’s just that he’s more backed by Stig Rästa, and Stig is love, Stig is life.) Honestly, I am all up for unpredictable voting, but if it looks unpleasant to me, then I feel like tuning out.

We’re over with this write-up, thank-fuck-fully, so that you won’t need to hear me lamenting how supposedly cheap “Storm” is ever again. But before that I will have to leave you with some Eurovision 2019 facts coming on: Estonian delegation can be lucky for once - instead of having had to panic for spending an egregious amount of money for a staging detail, this year they don’t have to worry, as the organizers were so shook by Victor’s stormy sky effect, they offered to pay for it themselves!!! Crazy, huh??? (reported for favouritism)

And now I’m done. And we’re moving on to another review and I end up wishing Victor Crone the every best of luck out there. Storm out with a good time well spent! (Whatever that might mean.)

[postmoderns]

do you know any films that evoke the same feeling as melodrama by lorde ?

i thought i was just gonna make a list but i got so carried away thank you for this i did not know this was something i could not shut the fuck up about. these are the films that make me unashamed to feel and love too much, which is the biggest mood i get from melodrama: experiencing life more vividly in heartbreak and self-discovery. 

Green Light- In The Mood For Love (2000) Dir. Wong Kar Wai

For me this song is about being unable to move on. knowing that you need to move on, but that fantasy of love and “what if” pains you. This is why I feel like this song could be sung by either of the main characters in wong kar wai’s in the mood for love. theyre lonely, finding codependence and company when they find out their spouses are cheating on them with each other. they act out a fantasy where they play each other’s spouses, acting out scenes and trying to figure out where it went wrong. and unknowingly, they fall in love. but what is real and what is theater? Its one of my favorite films of all time. and the amazing cinematography and vivid colors feel incredibly Melodrama. They can only speak in code. It’s sultry and missed connections and unrequited love. its the definition of this album i think.

Sober- The Doom Generation (1995) Dir. Gregg Araki 

Jack and Jill got fucked up and possessive/ When they get dark… All the gun fights/ And the lime lights/ And the holy sick divine nights/ They’ll talk about us, all the lovers/ How we kiss and kill each other… alright gregg araki is a strange shock value experience and this is definitely his most heterosexual film but who does teenage wasteland better than him honestly. sex, violence, whatever. three teenagers. theyre driving. they keep accidentally killing people. they make out. people die. but its not your average transgressive film i dont think. (disclaimer i dont watch a ton of them so i could be wrong) 

Homemade Dynamite- American Honey (2016) Dir. Andrea Arnold 

Our rules, our dreams, we’re blind/ Blowing shit up with homemade d-d-d-dynamite/ Our friends, our drinks, we get inspired… If you haven’t seen this already, its about a group of young people with nowhere to go and their camaraderie, and their survival despite people who have hurt them. living unapologetically despite (something) is what i think this song is.

The Louvre- Heartbeats (2010) Dir. Xavier Dolan 

I am your sweetheart psychopathic crush/ Drink up your movements, still I can’t get enough/Blow all my friendships to sit in hell with you… these are stories about desire and longing for someone unattainable. and being unable to stop wanting because its addictive. its about a two friends who fall for the same guy and both pursue him to the detriment of their friendship. xavier dolan does the pop music slow-motion painfully alone mood well. Its also about being unashamed of how much love you feel i think. 

Liability- Moonlight (2016) Dir. Barry Jenkins

They say, “You’re a little much for me/ You’re a liability/ You’re a little much for me”… Moonlight is so many things but a big part of Chiron’s character and life is how his past has made him who he is, and how he becomes reserved to the people around him as a result. i guess thats how he copes with coming of age, retreating inside himself with quiet strength. that movie wrecked me ive only seen it once and im scared to see it again. its perfect. 

Hard Feelings/Loveless- 35 Shots of Rum (2008) Dir. Claire Denis

I’m at Jungle City, it’s late and this song is for you.. God, I wish I believed you when you told me this was my home… I’ll start letting go of little things ‘til I’m so far away from you.. So this film is about people just living their lives. its quietly brilliant and very claire denis. paris at night. people dealing with any and all kinds of loss and living their lives so close to each other. The sounds especially at the end of this song remind me of train tunnels, turns, braking. shes a widowed conductor. the idea is that shes always moving and running away but not quite. but life quietly goes on. 

Writer In The Dark- Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind (2004) Dir. Michel Gondry

I am my mother’s child, I’ll love you 'til my breathing stops/ I’ll love you 'til you call the cops on me/ But in our darkest hours, I stumbled on a secret power/ I’ll find a way to be without you, babe… so in this film, theyre forced to be without each other. not only that but to wipe their minds of their lover completely, afraid of how much love affects them. i think once this film is done with you and youve cried your eyes out you get that same resolution: that this thing or person that you once thought you needed in order to live, you can find some way to continue without it. and if its fading, to enjoy it in the present, or, whatever feels like the present. 

Supercut- Lady Bird (2017) Dir. Greta Gerwig

Cause in my head, in my head, I do everything right/ When you call I’ll forgive and not fight/ All the moments I play in the dark/ Wild and fluorescent, come home to my heart… lady bird is told like a dream, the way the scenes blend together like memory. the whole thing feels like its fleeting. in lady bird’s head, this is right. no matter what happens or who she accidentally hurts or what her future is, its going to be okay. This is a song about homecoming i think. not to a place or a person but to yourself and the memories of a love once had- and to cherish those memories, come home to my heart

Perfect Places- Daisies (1966) Dir. Vera Chytilova

All the nights spent off our faces/ Trying to find these perfect places/ What the fuck are perfect places anyway?.. This is a film simply about two teenage girls who desire and consume, unashamed. Its wild and sporadic and playful in style and makes very little sense but its so fun. I think its the movie playing in the head of the speaker of the song. shes ashamed but she doesnt want to be. the perfect place is one where she will be unashamed. 

[gretagerwigarchive]

Greta Gerwig wants to hug every Lady Bird crew member after Golden Globe nominations

by Devan Coggan, December 11, 2017

source: http://ew.com/movies/2017/12/11/greta-gerwig-lady-bird-golden-globes-nomination/

EW caught up with Gerwig after nominations were announced to get her reaction to the news and talk about why so many moviegoers are falling in love with Lady Bird.

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: Congratulations! How did you find out about the nominations this morning?

GRETA GERWIG: Thank you! Well, I knew they were coming out this morning. [laughs] I made myself sleep, and I said, “Don’t set an alarm. Sleep, wake up, make a cup of coffee, and then open your phone.” So I kind of forced myself to do everything, but I just wanted to look at my phone. And then I looked, and I had like 36 text messages and I thought, “Okay, something must have gone really well.” And then there was a lot of screaming and excitement and joy. That’s just sort of continued up until this moment. I think today is just going to be a full-on celebration screaming day.

The best kind of day.

It really is! [laughs] I’m just so proud of everybody who worked on it and so honored it was included in this year’s group of extraordinary movies. I want to see everyone who made the movie and give them a hug.

You’ve been nominated before as an actress, but what does it mean to you to be nominated for this film specifically?

Well, this is my first writing-directing solo situation, and it was nominated for Saoirse and Laurie and me and the movie. It’s like the most exciting thing ever! [laughs] And it’s a movie that was such a labor of love from everyone who made it that for it to be received this way and celebrated like this just means the world to me. We could never have anticipated this. It was just kind of this movie that we poured everything into, but you just never think it’s going to be received like this. It’s something that’s beyond our wildest everything.

Since the film has come out, the reaction has been so strong, and so many people have connected with Lady Bird and her story. Have you been surprised by how people have identified with it?

Yeah. I feel like movies are such a collaborative art form that it’s really the response to every single person who gave so much of themselves to the movie. There is this feeling of love around it because there was all the love that went into it.

And I also think it’s such a specific story, but it ends up being universal because it’s specific. I was in France and I was in the U.K., and I was talking to people there, and there were journalists saying, “I’ve never heard of Sacramento, but I feel like this is my story.” [laughs] It’s about home and how home is something you only really come to understand as you’re leaving it, and I think that’s something that everyone has a connection point with. That’s something that people can relate to. But it’s the wildest thing to be in a country that’s so far away, and yet they’re saying, “That’s me and my mom, and I grew up in Paris.” It’s very moving.

There’s that moment where Lady Bird and her mom go look at open houses, and I was sitting there, like, “My mom and I used to do that when I was growing up! Whenever we were sad or stressed, we’d do that and imagine what it’d be like to live there!” There’s a universality in that relationship that is so lovely.

Yeah! It’s funny, so many people have said, “I used to do that with my mom!” Men and women. It’s this thing where you go and almost imagine another life. Like maybe our lives would be perfect if we lived there. And I think people understand what that is.

As you mentioned, Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalf both got nominated too. What was it about each of them that made them the right people to portray these two characters?

They’re both just such formidable actresses in their strength, and also in their powers of empathy. They have such a deep need to communicate, and I think for me — I had cast Saoirse, and then I cast Laurie next — it was this feeling where they could really take each other in the best way in both love and conflict. They could hold what the other person was putting down because they’re both just so formidable as actresses. I think that even though we were telling this very specific story of one year of this life, they would be able to bring the sense of a whole life. And that was true for every single actor, but for me, the heart of the movie is really a love story between a mother and a daughter, and I knew I needed two women like that to inhabit that space and really give it the stakes of something that’s monumental, even though it’s about a quotidian life in some ways.

One of the other key relationships that I love in this film is the relationship between Lady Bird and her best friend, Julie. That friendship feels so smart and real. How did you approach that friendship between the two of them?

Well, Beanie Feldstein is a treasure. She walked into the audition and she basically gave the performance you see on the screen. She was just so funny and so real and so heartbreaking and so detailed. She knew exactly what this relationship was and how to play each moment.

And the thing that made me so happy was I had cast Saoirse early, and we had a year before we actually shot the movie. She was going to go be on Broadway in The Crucible. So there were times where I would just get her and Beanie together to just hang out. Not to make it perfect or rehearse the scenes, just so they could trade phone numbers and get some inside jokes going. They got so close as people that I felt like that really translated onto the screen, and the scenes that still make me so happy are the two of them cracking each other up. These two young women making each other laugh, and genuinely making each other laugh. We just kept rolling on them laughing because they so got under each other’s skin in the best way. They knew how to make each other break, and it was so much fun to watch because it did feel like we were just getting to document a friendship.

I also have to ask about the music because it’s such a wonderful element of this film. When you were sitting down to write the screenplay, did the music change or evolve over time, or did you always know, “These are the songs I want”?

I did write Alanis Morissette and Dave Matthews and Justin Timberlake and Ani DiFranco and Stephen Sondheim. Those were all written in. I didn’t really have a plan B when it came to those songs. [laughs] I just felt like I need these songs. I went on an extensive letter-writing campaign, and they were all so gracious and kind that they let me use their music. And then I had the good fortune of being able to work with Jon Brion, who’s one of my favorite film composers of all time. I knew I wanted the music that was playing in the world that these teenagers would listen to to be very specific and very clear and tell the story of the time, and then the score that exists in the world of the movie is this lush, romantic, achy, old-fashioned score. And he was able to understand what that juxtaposition was. So to me, when I think of the music of the movie, I think of those two things together and how they play off of each other.

That makes sense, having those two juxtaposed elements.

Jon Brion was so fun too, to work with. Especially because I’m not a musician, so it’s like somebody doing a magic show! I would explain a feeling to him and he’d play a chord and say, “Is that the feeling?” And I’d say, “How did you know the chord that went with the feeling!” He’s like, “That’s what I do!” It’s like, that’s amazing!

How did you approach 2002 without making it feel kitschy or like a throwback?

I think the thing for me was to treat everything with utmost respect and like it was very real. So to acknowledge the fact that, yes, this is a Justin Timberlake song that came out that year, but also the songs on the radio were still songs from the ’90s. Or cars on the street, not every single car was from that year. To sort of have the traces of earlier times in the year that it’s taking place. Because I feel like that always makes it feel more realistic to me. That was something with the production design and the way that we put the movie together that we were very careful about because we didn’t want it to be too cute. Even though it’s recent history, it still is not now.

In making this film and directing your first feature, was there anything about the process that really surprised you?

The thing I had a hunch about, but I didn’t know until I’d really done it, was how much I’d adore directing films. It’s absolutely the most fun I’ve had doing anything. I love directing films. I love working with a team. I love working with actors. I love being the person who’s able to bring all these people together with a common purpose. I thought I would love doing it, but then when you’re actually there, you think, “This is the best time I’ve ever had.” You don’t totally know how it’s going to work out.

And then in terms of challenges, I think one of the benefits of how long I’ve worked in film and how my film school happened on set — both in front of the camera and behind the camera — is that I knew in my bones that the difficulties that you’d face along the way in making a film were necessarily part of making a film. That doesn’t mean that the film is going to completely implode. That’s just part of it. Every day there’s going to be something that comes up that seems insurmountable. And then you all get your heads together and figure out how to get through it! [laughs] I think because of working in movies for so long, I knew that that was the path. That wasn’t some aberration from the path.

So I’m assuming you want to direct something else very soon?

Oh my God, there’s nothing I more want to do. I’m itching to do it again. [laughs] I also feel like it’s hard to codify what you’ve learned because so much of it is developing your intuition. It’s hard to break it down into, “I’ve learned the following 20 things!” But there was that feeling when I got to the end of it, like, I want to do this again right away because I have so much more information about how to do this and how to go ahead and how to push something forward. And it’s wanting to continue to grow and challenge myself. And the truth is, on the next one, it’ll be a whole new set of challenges. But I think you just keep adding to your toolbox. So yeah. One hundred percent. I can’t wait to get back on a set.

[jakelace]

2017 IN FILM - FINALE (TOP 10)

10. Molly’s Game

“I was raised to be a champion. My goal was to win. At what and against whom, those were just details.”

Let’s not beat around the bush on this one. My love for this film comes almost exclusively from my love for Aaron Sorkin’s dialogue. Sorkin’s quick-witted way of writing is certainly not realistic by any stretch of the imagination, but allows for great lines and a thrilling way of telling a true to life story that might otherwise come off as a bit bland. Molly’s Game follows Molly Bloom (expertly portrayed by Jessica Chastain) who became a target of the FBI after running an underground poker game for years. It’s a truly larger than life story, which, knowing Sorkin’s penchant for twisting facts for a better story, probably is. But in the moment that doesn’t matter. I was fully engrossed by the fast paced dialogue, the top-notch performances, and the thrilling pacing of this outstanding story.

9. The Disaster Artist

“Greg, you have to be the best. You have to be the best you can be. And never give up.”

When I first heard that a film was being made all about the making of one of the best so-bad-it’s-good films ever made, I was on board. Although I would have never predicted the end product would be something so inspirational. The Disaster Artist follows Greg Sestero who, after meeting the infamous Tommy Wiseau, moves to Los Angeles to star in The Room. While the comedy and performances surrounding this retelling of a cinema-changing event are certainly very well done, it’s the inspiration I found in Wiseau that made me love this film. It’s easy to laugh along at The Room for its utter incompetence as an example of the entire medium, but when I took a step back to look at the passion and love for this story that Wiseau so obviously had, and his uncompromising dedication to making sure his directorial vision shone through, I began to see the man behind the film in a much different light, and one that inspired me to ‘be the best I can be. And never give up.’ ‘What a story, Mark!’...okay, I’m done now.

8. The Big Sick

“I’m guessing it’s a young, single Pakistani woman who just happened to be driving by our house, which is on a cul-de-sac.”

I shouldn’t have waited to watch The Big Sick as long as I did. It became instantly clear as soon as the credits began to roll that this would become the new standard that all romantic comedies are held to. Kumail Nanjiani’s performance is one of the most hilarious and heart-breaking of the year as he plays himself in a dramatization of the time Emily V. Gordon, Nanjiani’s girlfriend at the time, went into a medically induced coma with a mysterious disease. The writing is what really stands out here, with the entirety of it being written by Gordon and Nanjiani themselves. The laugh-out-loud moments mixed with the emotionally moving plot, affected me in a way few films have, making this one of the greatest rom-coms to ever exist. Oh, also, Holly Hunter is hilarious in this.

7. Get Out

“Now you’re in the sunken place.”

Get Out’s position has fluctuated the most out of any other film this year. Unsurprisingly though, it has always stayed quite high. Jordan Peele’s debut film is one that even veteran directors would be proud to have made, considering there are so few movies that even come close to how clever this film is in both its horror and social commentary. Every frame is so jam-packed with details that, though they may feel arbitrary at the time, provide us with a deeper look at characters, their motivations, and even their deeper psychology. Every moment is important with no time being wasted. Every performance (especially Daniel Kaluuya’s) is layered and nuanced with excellent characterizations. Get Out is a horror masterpiece that I am certain will be looked back on with the highest regards in years to come.

6. Star Wars: The Last Jedi

“Let the past die. Kill it, if you have to.”

I would have never guessed that putting a Star Wars film this high on an end of the year list would warrant so much controversy, but here we are. While I can understand a few of the complaints surrounding a few moments in Star Wars: The Last Jedi, I honestly cannot wrap my head around calling this an objectively bad film. It is quite possibly the most expertly shot and cleverly written film in the entire franchise, and the directions Rian Johnson decided to steer the franchise are some of the most exciting yet. It takes everything we thought we wanted out of a follow up to The Force Awakens and turns it on its head. It delivers wonderful characters to us, both new like Rose Tico, and old like Luke Skywalker. Most importantly, it gives me a story that makes me proud to be such a fan of a galaxy far, far away. Also, I’m now a huge fan of the space battles. I’m not really sure when or how that happened.

5. The Killing of a Sacred Deer

“A surgeon never kills a patient. An anesthesiologist can kill a patient, but a surgeon never can.”

Once again this year, we have another Colin Farrell led Yorgos Lanthimos film as my number five film of the year. While The Killing of a Sacred Deer is a different genre than last year’s The Lobster, his truly unique style of direction and dialogue remains. Lanthimos is a master at creating the cinematic feeling of an idyllic utopia, whilst making nearly every moving part feel off at the same time. His style is very ‘uncanny valley’ in that way, and while that may turn people off from his films, I can’t help but be glued to the screen. I was riveted by his off-kilter method of storytelling and his purposefully wooden dialogue. Farrell gives another great performance here, with Nicole Kidman stealing the show as she injects a small amount of actual emotion and fear into the picture. For those looking for something unconventional and disconcerting out of their cinema, I can’t recommend The Killing of a Sacred Deer enough.  

4. Dunkirk

“If we go there we’ll die.”

Dunkirk is, without a doubt, Christopher Nolan’s most masterfully crafted film. Inception may still stand as my favorite, but when it comes to the sheer skill and effort on display, it’s nearly impossible to see this as anything less than a technical masterpiece. Nolan’s knack for creating emotional moments, intense heart-pounding action sequences, and non-linear stories perfectly works its way into the setting of World War 2, while also introducing me to an inspiring story I had never heard before. And yes, I still like to call this Anxiety: The Movie. If you’d like to read more of my thoughts on Nolan’s magnum opus, you can do so here.

3. Baby Driver

“The moment you catch feelings is the moment you catch a bullet.”

Though I don’t normally set up my rankings with subcategories in mind, if I did, Baby Driver would win Best Soundtrack without a single hesitation. Edgar Wright’s creative vision for this music-based heist film is absolutely stellar. Each scene is interwoven with music of all different sorts of genres and time-periods, with each of the heists and action sequences in the film playing out in-time with each song. It’s honestly a marvel that it was done this expertly. From the very opening scene I was smiling ear-to-ear and tapping my foot along with every backbeat and wheel-screech I could hear. Baby Driver, though fairly played-out in its story, survives and even thrives on the style that is oozing out of every frame. Edgar Wright is a directorial genius, and I can’t wait to see what he has up his sleeve next. Oh, and it you didn’t want to drive around listening to John Spencer Blues Explosion’s “Bellbottoms” directly after listening to this...you’re lying.

2. A Ghost Story

“I don’t think they’re coming.”

Rooney Mara eats an entire pie for four and half minutes in this film, and I’d be lying if I said that I wasn’t bawling with every bite she took. That’s just A Ghost Story for you though. By the time the credits began to roll my face hurt because of how long I had been ugly crying. Though I’m certain not everyone will have this strong of a reaction to the film, David Lowery’s deeply introspective film about loss and the inability to stop time from slipping through our fingers struck a massive chord with me. Every small motion, every flashback to happier times, and every major life event that flashes by left me emotionally devastated. It tapped into my own personal fears about love and legacy and whether or not we’ll be remembered when we pass, all the while providing one of the most compelling stories about the supernatural using barely any dialogue at all. A Ghost Story is a fantastically made and deliberately paced film that will haunt me for years to come...sorry, that pun was just too easy.

1. Lady Bird

“Don't you think maybe they are the same thing? Love and attention?”

Here we are, my number one favorite film of 2017. It’s been a long time coming, and we’ve discussed many other great films from the year, but in the end it could have only been Lady Bird, couldn’t it? There’s a certain undeniable love and connection I feel to coming of age films, and Greta Gerwig’s semi-autobiographical masterpiece is no exception to that. Lady Bird follows a young woman (Saoirse Ronan) in her last year of high-school as she struggles to make a place for herself in the world. Ronan is an absolute delight as Lady Bird and has a chance to show her range as one of the greatest up-and-coming actresses through outstanding comedy and emotionally heartfelt moments. It’s honestly hard for me to describe what it is I love about this film so much though. Like most coming of age films, everything I took from Lady Bird feels so personal to me. Gerwig’s writing is so uncannily realistic and resonant in my life because she is able to capture the wild absurdity of growing up while also handling complex issues and relationships in such interesting ways and through her weaving of nostalgia and comedy, she creates one of the greatest films about growing up that I have ever seen. I don’t want to spoil any larger character moments or fantastically written emotional climaxes, so I will leave you all with something I can say with the utmost confidence. Lady Bird is one of the few film experiences that everyone should have. 

[itsreddiebitch]

Family First Chapter 4

Summary: Emily Tozier knew one thing. Her father loved her as if she was his own. Yet, secrets and lies kept for years will push her into finding out the truth about her real father and his connection with Richie.

Chapters: 1 2 3

Like Emily, Ethan was not honest with his parents. They drove back to the house and explained how Ethan wanted to travel north to look at schools with Emily. They were hesitant at first before agreeing as long as Ethan would call frequently. They gathered Ethan’s things and headed on the road. It was an eight-hour drive and they agreed to split the driving time. Well, Emily insisted and Ethan made driving jokes until she got him to agree.

“Before we go I want to pick up a friend.”

“A friend?” Emily was curious on who else would want to be stuck in a long drive with the two of them.

“Yeah, her father use to be close with mine. I texted her about you and she wants to come.” Emily wondered how her presence could make someone be willing to travel to Derry. She felt like she found someone who understood her through this experience and she would love to meet others she could relate to. Her friends at home could understand her to a certain degree. After the normal conversations got old and the deep conversations begun, she felt disconnected. How can you relate to someone who never worried about who they were?

They drove for another thirty-five minutes before stopping at a luxury apartment. A man dressed in a red coat stood at the door, welcoming residents as they walked in and out. Ethan put the car in park before bringing his phone up to his ear. Emily looked up at the towering apartment building. It was vastly different than her own. The old brick looked charming unlike her’s which was made of glass. The man began to reach for the door and a young teen stepped out. Her first step was graceful and Emily felt entranced by her presence. The teen girl smiled and nodded to the doorman. She carried her bags with ease, her straight brown hair laid lightly on her shoulders. Ethan waved to the girl and she waved back. Emily felt a surge of uneasiness as she opened the back door. Emily felt like she should have been in the back with how they looked at each other.

“Hi, Ethan!” She placed her bags beside her before closing the door. Emily wondered how long they knew each other and how close they were. She had no reason to be jealous. Yet, Emily now regretted sitting in the front seat for the next eight hours. “I’m Stacey, it’s nice to finally meet you.” Stacey extended her hand and Emily shook it.

“Emily, great to meet you too.” They settled into their seats and began the long journey to Derry. Emily listened to Ethan and Stacey catch up. They talked about school and the last time they saw each other. Emily never felt like the saying three is a crowd applied to her until now.

“So Emily, you are on the search for your real father?” Emily looked at Ethan who shrugged in response. Did he tell this girl Emily’s life story?

“Yeah, I am not sure if he even is in Derry but I have to try. What brings you to Derry with us?” For the first time since Stacey had got in the car she looked upset. Emily worried that she said something wrong but Stacey began to smile once more.

“One day I brought home a book written by Bill Denbrough and my mother flipped. It was as if I brought home a Satanist Bible. She told me to never bring his books into this house again and threw it in the fire. It was overly dramatic really.” Emily could tell by the change in Stacey’s voice that it wasn’t anything to joke about. “After that I noticed how she would never talk about him. No one in my family would. So when I heard you guys were going to Derry I wanted to get some answers too.” After that the discomfort disappeared and Emily felt like she was involved in their conversations. Emily learned that Stacey moved to New York before she was born and always felt like she was missing something. Stacy was a lot more like Emily than she expected. They had common interests and as the drive continued, Emily could see that Ethan and Stacey were not interested in each other in that way. He didn’t tease her like he teased Emily and his hands never gravitated towards Stacey. Stacey pretended to focus on her phone but watched the two teens in front of her with an amusing smirk on her face. Once they switched drivers, Ethan passed out instantly. The drive was quiet other than Ethan’s light snores.

“So you and Ethan huh?” Stacey’s voice sounded almost like a song, taunting Emily.

“What do you mean?” Emily looked back at Stacey through the rear-view mirror.

“He is into you, you know.” Stacey wiggled her eyebrows and motioned towards the sleeping teen. Emily looked at him as he rested his head against the car door. His face looked the most peaceful it has since she met him. It was cute.

“I don’t know about that. I just met the guy a day ago. There is no way we could make a connection in that short of time. Also, we live in different states so it wouldn’t make sense.” Emily realized she was rambling like she always did when she was nervous. She shut up immediately. Stacey did not look convinced.

“Well, he is a great guy. His parents raised him well. I just want the best for him and you.” Emily smiled at Stacey before looking back at the road. Ethan slowly opened his eyes before stretching.

“What are you girls talking about?” Emily looked at Stacey who just shook her head before answering.

“We were talking about my bird watching log.” Stacey held a finger up to her lips causing Emily to laugh. Ethan narrowed his eyes at the two girls before relaxing into his seat. The rest of the drive went by fast as the three teens got to know each other better. They sang songs and played silly road games.

As they rode into Derry, a mist surrounded the town as if it was being strangled by it. Ethan turned on his high beams and drove cautiously. The temperature got colder and the atmosphere shifted. Anyone who drove through the city lines could feel it. Emily looked out the window and saw nothing but fog. Stacey was sleeping in the back making the front of the car feel very intimate. Emily looked at Ethan who looked back. They knew something was up. The town sign appeared on her right, it looked old and cracked. Unlike the towns they drove through, this sign was made of wood and looked as if it never was refurbished. Emily felt a chill creep down her sign as they passed.

“You cold?” Ethan reached for his sweatshirt and threw it to Emily. She thanked him but knew it was not the air that gave her a chill.

“This town, it’s…”

“Creepy.”

“Maybe, but that’s not the word for it.” Emily didn’t know to describe the feeling this town gave her. Maybe it was the nerves of possibly meeting her father. Yet, she knew it wasn’t that simple. Thirty minutes passed and the sky began to clear. They saw street lights from the distance. The town looked as if they had gone back in time. There were no restaurants that were familiar of or stores for that matter. The only resemblance to their own cities was the Starbucks at the end of the street. Emily helped direct Ethan with her GPS before finally parking in front of the old Denbrough home. The lights in the living room were on and Emily watched as two shadows began to move towards the front door. The town was awfully quiet like silence at a funeral. The front door opened slowly, an elderly couple stood there with smiles on their faces.

“Ethan, you have grown so much! You’re so handsome.” Ethan walked up the few steps before giving his grandparents a hug. His grandmother kissed his cheek, before holding his face in her frail hands.

“These are my friends Emily and Stacey.” Both girls smiled and waved, trying to be polite even from a distance.

“Oh, please come in you all must be so tired.” Once they gathered their things they went straight to bed not bothering to brush their teeth. Emily slept for a good two hours before her mind began to wander into dreams she had never seen.

“Richie, I swear to God if you don’t fucking shut up.”

“What you going to do Eds?” A young boy not much older than thirteen was glaring at a younger Richie Tozier. The younger teen was short and tiny. He looked as if he weighed less than a hundred pounds. His short brown hair was combed neatly, almost perfect. He had a cast with the word loser written in black marker. He did not look very happy about it.

“Don’t call me that. I am going to have loser written on my cast till I get it off. This sucks.” Eddie looked down at his cast in disappointment. When Greta Bowie offered to sign Eddie’s cast he felt excited. While it wasn’t the kind of excitement that made his cheeks flush, it was still something that made him feel important. However, once the pen left the cast and his eyes landed on the word all he felt was embarrassment.

“Hey, chill out Eddie. It isn’t that big of a deal.” Richie reached in his pocket and brought out a red sharpie. He grabbed Eddie’s arm to hold him still. Eddie protested at first, fearing Richie was drawing a dick over the word. “Jeeze stay still Eddie I know how excited you get when I touch you but relax.”

“Oh, fuck off Tozier.” Eddie was afraid and closed his eyes. Once he felt the pressure from Richie’s weight stop, he opened one eye. What he found made his face turn red.

Richie drew a v over the s making the world change from loser to lover. Richie was blushing as well but hid it by focusing his attention on his untied shoelace.

“Why did you do that?” Eddie could barely get the words out.

“Cause you're more of a lover than a loser. Do you like it?” Eddie only nodded in response. He looked at Richie as if he was meeting Richie for the first time. “You know who also is a great lover?”

“Don’t.”

“Your Mom.” Eddie smacked Richie hard enough to leave a hand mark on his arm. Richie yelped before tackling Eddie to the ground. Both boys rolled around the grass laughing at each other. They were glad to have a good memory in one of the scariest times of their lives.

Emily woke up with a warm feeling in her chest. She had seen a moment between Richie and her actual father. Richie gave Eddie the nickname Eds just like Emily. She could understand why that nickname could bring back memories for Richie. However, where did that dream come from? How did she picture both kids so clearly? It was as if she was watching a film. She couldn’t do anything in the dream all she could do was watch. A knock on her door woke Emily from her thoughts.

“Can I come in?” It was Stacey’s voice on the other side of the door.

“Yeah, come in.” Stacy was still in her pajamas. Emily looked to see that it was barely seven in the morning. Stacey made her way over to Emily and sat beside her in bed.

“Did you have any weird dreams?”

“How did you know?”

“I didn’t, I just hoped you would too.” Stacey had witnessed a dream of a young boy bird watching. He took notes and attempted to draw the blue jay in front of him. It reminded her of when she was young. “I think it was my father. Why would I dream of a kid that looks just like me?”

“I saw Richie and this kid. His name was Eddie and Richie called him by the nickname he uses for me. It can’t be random.”

“My mother always hated Derry, she blamed it for my father’s..” Stacey couldn’t finish her sentence. Emily grabbed Stacey’s hand giving it a comforting squeeze.

“We are going to figure this out together.” Both girls shared a hug before Stacey went back to her room. An hour later Emily walked down the stairs to the living room. Ethan was waiting with Stacey. He stood up before announcing his plan.

“So, I talked to my grandparents and they told me about Mike who was a part of the losers club. He also works for the Derry Library, if anyone knows about our parents it’s him. They also..” Ethan walked over to the bookshelf and grabbed a photo book. He walked back over to Emily and opened the third page. “This is the losers club.”

Emily looked down at the faded photo. It was a picture of seven kids, they looked to be fourteen or fifteen in the photo. They all stood in a line with their arms around each other. Emily immediately noticed Richie. His hair was sticking out from every side. His glasses were huge compared to the size of his face. His cheekbones were more defined since he was starting puberty at that time. Richie also wore a Hawaiian shirt. He never grew out of that style much to Emily’s dismay. He looked happy, happier than she had ever seen him. Next to him was the smaller boy from her dream. He did not have a cast on his arm but he wore a fanny pack on his hip. Eddie. Eddie is his name. Emily pointed to the photo before tracing the two boys.

“That’s Richie and I think that’s Eddie.”

“Eddie?”

“Yeah, he was in my dream last night.” Emily wondered if Ethan had a dream as well. However, he did not seem to have anything to say and put the photo book back on the shelf.  

“Shall we go?” Emily looked at Stacey who looked just as confused about his reaction. What was going on with Ethan? They did not protest and followed Ethan out to the car. The town seemed much more alive during the day. People were walking and riding their bikes around town. The drive was short and they learned that walking around town was more common than driving. They got out of the car and looked around the parking lot. It seemed that not many people went to the library anymore for the parking lot was empty. They walked inside. The smell of old books filled their noses as they looked around the room. There were a few people reading in different corners. It seemed that the library was last in line for improvements. The shelves looked old and worn and the rug was torn in some places. It may not be the most updated library but it was cozy.

“Hi, can I help you find anything?” A young man not much older than them walked over to the door. He had a charming smile and a relaxed demeanor that made anyone feel at ease.

“Yes, we are looking for Mike Hanlon.”

“My Pops? Yeah, he is in his office, second door on the right.” They thanked the teen before heading to Mike’s office. Emily took the initiative of being the one who knocks.

“Please come in.” Ethan grabbed the door handle and slowly opened the door. There sat Mike Hanlon. His hair line receding and his nose in a book. His face was not as wrinkled compared to Ben and Richie. However, his age showed in his eyes. Mike has the eyes of a man who has seen many things in his lifetime.

“Hello, my name is Ethan and this is…”

“Stacey and Emily correct?” The three teens felt stunned as Mike said their names. How would he have known who they were? “You look like them, my friends.”

“We came to talk to you. I wanted to learn more about my birth father.” Emily felt anxious as she waited for Mike’s reply. He closed his book before placing it in the drawer of his desk.

“Lucas!” He yelled for the teen in the hallway. For a Liberian he wasn’t very quiet.

“Yeah Dad?” Lucas came into the room ready for any errands he may be given.

“These are the kids I wanted you to meet. They are Bill, Stan, and Eddie’s children.” Emily was shocked how much this man knew. Warmth filled her stomach at knowing she was correct about who her real father is but she wanted to know more about his relationship with Richie.

“Oh, nice to meet you all I’m Lucas.” He shook everyone’s hand before grabbing chairs for everyone to sit. Once they got settled they got ready to ask Mike some questions however, he beat them to it.

“So you guys came to Derry to learn about your parents?”   

“Yes, I want to understand why my parents have nightmares.” Ethan moved his chair closer to make sure he could hear.

“I want to know why my mother hid my father’s past.”

“And I want to know what my father is like.” Emily felt nervous now that she was finally getting the answers she wanted. Mike sighed before letting out a laugh.

“Where should I start first? Two out of the three questions are pretty complicated but I can answer yours easily Emily.” Emily held her hands together on her lap trying not to seem too eager. “Eddie Kaspbrak was something else. His mother was overprotective but he was one of the bravest men I knew. He was tiny like you but he was quick with his tongue. Him and I were not the closest but he was a great friend to me.” As much as Emily loved hearing about her father she couldn’t help but notice how he used past tense. He was. He had been. Emily tried to keep her composure even though a million questions were running through her mind.

“What about his relationship with Richie?”

“Richie, oh my lord those two boys were trouble. All they would do is bicker and fight. There was never one day where Richie wasn’t flirting with Eddie. We all were just waiting for them to get together.” Emily had always known Richie is bisexual. Yet, Richie had never been with a man from what Emily could remember.

“What do you mean by was? When you talk about Eddie.” Emily was afraid of the answer and she could tell by his expression he didn’t seem to want to say it. The tension in the room began to grow as everyone waited for Mike’s answer. The phone on his desk began to ring signaling the end of the conversation

“I will explain in detail another time. I apologize but I must take this call. Lucas, please show them out.”

Lucas waved everyone out of the room. Emily looked at Mike one last time before leaving the room. Mike picked up the phone and waited for the person on the other line.

“Yes, she is safe. Yes, I know. She is asking about him…. I haven’t told them yet. I’ll keep her safe Richie.”

The teens all exited the library feeling not very happy with how the conversation turned out.

“I’m sorry about my Pops. He has been through a lot but he will explain it all in due time. If you guys want I can show you around Derry tomorrow.” Lucas seemed like a nice guy and he could have some answers since he had lived in Derry his whole life. Before Emily and Ethan got to answer Stacey jumped at the chance.

“I’d love that! Wouldn’t you guys?” Both teens nodded not really understanding why Stacey became so happy suddenly. They began to get in the car but a flash of light caught Emily’s eye. She squinted her eyes as she looked far down the street of Derry. It was too far to see anything but figures. Yet, she could distinctly see seven figures riding their bikes down the street. Emily wanted to get a closer look but Ethan’s car horn made her jump.

“You coming Miss Hollywood?” Emily threw up her middle finger which only earned her a laugh from Ethan. She turned around to see the biking crew once more but just as fast as they came they were gone.    

Tag list: @muruchwitch @rheddie @allison0609 @richietoaster @just-an-akward-fangirl @reddiestenbrough      

[lynccycling]

Humpday got you feeling down? In an uninspired funk and can’t get out? Not feeling motivated to chase your goals? We feel you, it happens. Which is why each LYNC instructor has tools to stay focused & on their game. Take a scroll down motivation lane and maybe pick up a tip or two to get you back on track.

Becca

I loooovvvvveeee taking Teddy on a walk or run (whatever Ted is feeling that day) and leaving my phone at home to be in my own headspace and one with nature if we go through Arbor Hills! I also love to listen to one of my new fav podcast “The Last Podcast on the Left” which is about anything from conspiracy theories to true crime or historical facts (history has ALWAYS been my fav subject) while cooking or cleaning around the house! Maybe its the Mexi in me but cleaning is a huge reliever for me! Clean house = happy lil becky!

Our favorite cleaning products? Mrs. Meyers infused with essential oils.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Grace

I LOVE getting in my kitchen and cooking a yummy meal. I always start with a trip to the grocery store (probs Trader Joes) to pick up the ingredients.. I'm one of those weird humans that find grocery shopping SO therapeutic. I am currently OBSESSED with Alex from the Defined Dish, who just so happens to be a Dallas gal!  One of my favorites right now is her Shrimp Remoulade Lettuce Cups recipe! Of course, finishing it off with some healthy sweet treats, like this Banana Bread! 

This all happens while I'm listening to one of my favorite light hearted podcasts,  The Lady Gang.  When things get off track, a good belly laugh and a great healthy meal is always a great reset!

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Avery

I start my day with quiet time every morning accompanied by my devotional (@jesuscalling) and podcasts The Porch.

After quiet time, I take about 5-10 minutes every hour at work to listen to a few songs that make me happy (no shocker that Jess Glynne and Betty Who are at the top for me rn)

After work, I love walks on the Katy Trail or White Rock Lake, wine bars (leelas always) and cooking meals with my friends (favorite food blogger is definitely skinny taste). At night I try my hardest to unplug and focus on friends/family as much as possible.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Andrew

This music definitely isn’t everyone’s thing, but the band August Burns Red has picked me up when I’m down, pushed my butt through tough workouts, gotten me focused at work, you name it, more times than I can count. Their lyrics are really powerful, and they wrote one of my all time favorites:

“Don’t excuse yourself from life today on the pretense of your past.” Let that sink in.

Alt response: I pet my dog or take him for a walk if he’s nearby, or just look at pictures of him on my phone because he’s stinking cute and it’s a good reminder that I need to keep it together for the people who love me and doggos that depend on me.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Ashleigh

One of my favorite things to do (other than a good sweat sesh on the bike) is surfing. I used to go out to California and surf at San Clemente beach all the time when I was younger. It was a great way to slow down my mind and be focused on the present moment. HOWEVER there aren’t many beaches in d-town so I usually hop into a pool and swim it out or roll out my yoga mat at Hot Body Yoga. It’s a great way to control my breathing and something about being under water is relaxing to me.

When I need to get sh!t done, one of My favorite coffee shops is Global Peace. You can usually find me there writing or emailing with a cappuccino in hand. Also I LOVE coffee. Oh did I say love, I meant I’m addicted. Same thing right?

I’m also a BIG fan of live music and on the weekend if anyone is in town playing I try to make an effort to go out and support. It helps me get out of my head and is a good excuse to just sit back and enjoy some of my favorite tunes. My must see bands are: night riots, jet black alley cat, band Camino, State champs, Greta Van Fleet and Marianas Trench.

Look up concerts near you. One of our favorite venues? Granada theater!

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Liz

I love, and wish I did it more, putting my phone away when I’m home and being in the moment with my family (but of course grabbing it to document Noah dance parties and special memories). Five minutes with my son (if he is napped and fed 🙈) can cure five bad days. 

Between teaching/training clients/and all the hustle I also really enjoy silence. I rarely listen to music while driving nowadays because I’ve found that my mind tries to start programming and/or choreographing whenever a song is playing- so having quiet time to disconnect is important. I also love to jump in a class and go into student mode.

Check out 10 apps to help you put down your phone and get back to the moment.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Jaz

When the weather is nice, I love doing outdoor activities and being near water! Paddle boarding, swimming, and BBQing are my go-to day-off favs. I also enjoy a homemade coffee in the morning to kick start my day and going out back to wake up and check on my pepper plants and succulents. Planting is very peaceful to me. I love watching things grow.

Check out this 101 on starting your own herb garden.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Sydney

Outside of teaching, I love group fitness and enjoy taking classes at LYNC and around Dallas to let out nervous energy. I like to decompress by reading, listening to podcasts, and listening to LANY and John Mayer.

I listen to The Morning Toast and The Lady Gang - totally light hearted, but makes me bust out laughing in the car and puts me in a good mood before teaching.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Kayla

To stay motivated, I read... a lot. I read everything from nonfiction true crime stories and self development books to fiction novels to self-published articles on Medium. You can catch me searching my inbox at the Barnes & Noble check-out line for a coupon for a new book or sitting at Mudleaf Coffee shop (a super cool space in Plano) with headphones in listening to Audible.

My go-to read is anything by Brené Brown (Daring Greatly is my fave). She is a vulnerability researcher, specializing in shame. (wow, couldn’t we all dive a little deeper into that?) 

I also love to listen to Gary Vee’s Podcast to keep me focused in the business world. He touches on marketing tactics, struggles in business and life, leadership development and more–and TBH he’s just brutally honest and sometimes I just need a good kick in the ass and for someone to tell it to me straight.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Shannon

I like to take 10-15 minutes out of my morning to meditate to help level set me at the beginning of my day. My favorite app is “10% Happier” because it has courses, guided and unguided meditations and you can customize the time to whatever fits your schedule!

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Kelsey

I love a good story. I’m old school and really enjoy going to the bookstore and getting a physical copy. Lately my favorites have been ‘This Is How It Always Is’ and ‘Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine’. Put it with quiet time outside in the sun or snuggled with coffee and my puppy in the morning - foolproof feel good.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Olivia

I love going to Title Boxing to punch out all of my feelings. Whether I need a release or am excited and want to celebrate an hour of hard work–gallons of sweat at Title is always the move for me. 

I also love to take long walks on the weekends with my fave gal pals, Allison, Leina, Izzy, and Madeline to La La Land Kind Cafe or Bird Bakery. We almost always indulge in a sweet treat which for me is the perfect way to celebrate a week well done.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Izzy

The main thing I do at the moment to recharge is get a good nights sleep. Being in bed by 9pm really excites me, haha!

Also, getting some vitamin D and tanning by the pool on the weekends always puts me in a good mood. I usually end up falling asleep there too lol.

Catch this guided sleep meditation for a little shut eye to keep your mind right and our favorite SPF to lay out in the sun.

-  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -  -

Lindsey

I’d say personal time is the best way to recharge for me! I love walking the Katy Trail while getting out for some sunshine or hot yoga. Hot yoga is such a release for me because It not only calms the mind but gives me a good stretch! My favorite hot Yoga is at Core Power.

I’ve recently been loving EVERY recipe from The Defined Dish who makes clean/easy/whole30 approved meals. Her meals are so tasty and simple to make! Feel good guilty treat that is guaranteed to make any day better is ice cream!

Calling my family always lifts me up and keeps me rooted!  I also really try to put my phone down while at home for 30 minutes at the end of the day and engage in something other than scrolling mindlessly on social media which helps me reconnect with myself and surroundings.\

[fortheloveofcringe]

Here’s the tim, eh, thing I mean.

I have an intense case of mouth diarrhea whenever I speak to the person I like. My mouth thinks faster than my brain does and that’s giving too much. Desperate even.

And now I’m upset.

This school year was not what I remotely expected it to be. I guess life, do know a couple of tricks to surprise the living daylight’s out of me. For instance, the fact that some people from my past keep popping off from left and right reminding me of the ugly memories I intended to be left in the recycle bin, momentarily retrieving them back to beat myself up when needed be, on my own terms, but boy does it trigger some sort of daunting demon inside of me when I see people that hark back the tinges of the fragile person that I am. But I’m not discourteous. I’ve been trained for pleasantries and my tricks usually work, like make-up on a scar.

However, there is one person that very well got under my skin in a matter of 5 miliseconds, if I’m not entirely mistaken. Usually I calculate, for real, but this time, at least on my end of the paper, everything just sparked instantly, like that moment when you have a mini heart attack because the socket you plugged your charger in gave a little shower of electric fire flakes and you’re wondering how you’re not in the  E.R. with a third degree burn.

And now, it makes me more upset.

To think of this.

This and the person.

The ride home, in this muddy, musky July air, reminded me of the brittle pang inside me whenever I try to bring someone close to me. They just wouldn’t. That makes me gloomy. Not having the person. But perhaps, in an unsolicited epiphany in the jeep, it isn’t really not having the person, but It’s me. My wide grins and over-flattering nudges of “please be part of me” conversations, makes me sad. Every year, every damn year, I come across someone I really like and I know they would just blow-up for me like fireworks that you slept on during New Years. I’m confused as to why I meet people, the ones I want to desprately confer romantic poetry, lean in and whisper a secret after an embrace in my bed, or just simply cook a hell of a lunch for, or massage their backs or even at least just be a listening ear or a shoulder to lean on as they say, it confuses me how such small happiness can cause loads of pain and re-animate some notes of trauma from my past. It’s like the universe giving me a glimpse of my little childhood again; where I just can’t have nice things, just window shopping, a glass wall, there to tell me where the line is when it gets blurry. See something, but can’t be able to bring it home with you and have good pictures for the times. It makes me feel like sometimes, I must be the worst person in the entire world. Because I envy people who easily get what they want, need. And the universe always calls me out in every little envy litany that I perpetrate and tells me that this is the reason why I do not entriely deserve to be happy, because I’m a terrible person. I just think of things… so the only gift the universe can give me, is up to having a close embrace of anything which I lack, in mind’s eye alone.

I have tried my best for years to actually appreciate the good side of being alone and with the idea of being left with nothing. That’s a good game, “Nothing left to lose, nothing to cry over for”. But it gets a little cold and fussy whenever couples rub it in my face that I am one of the candidates for “OLD CAT PERSON DIED ALONE IN HIS BASEMENT DUE TO DEPRESSION” kind of headlines. How much tears do I have to even shed. It’s almost annoying that I feel so hurt from the most trivial of things in my life. Sometimes I end up blaming the only thing I love about living, reading romantic novels.

Novels that had drawn me to him, amongst other things. I have them on audio, voice memo’s. His voice. As I warned him about how I take notes that very first morning of a Monday. I record people. I like evidences. I’m a journalist, or at least I was. But I do love mementos or anything that says, “Yes, I existed.”

I’m a college student, most specifically a "v" ingenue gay-person. I reasoned out to myself, “It’s natural for a person to get the hots for another person who share the same taste of T.V. shows, or movies, or BOOKS, even.”

Good Ghandi, the universe has some fucked up way to make puns sometimes. Because before classes started, I was just dying to have this imagined person. Just a piece.

So he’s the kind of imaginary man where he would actually ask me about how I LOVE Scream Queens or American Horror Story (cause the last attempt to nudge someone to talk about these two shows led me into being branded a psychopath, which is incorrect because I love those shows for their quick wit humor and glam, not the bloodshed, okayyy maybe a little of that), or what I think about Call Me By Your Name and other books related to. Then I, later uncover him more with how he is obsessed with warm hues in photos, and then he’s the one to ask to befriend me on Facebook (which I rarely do, accept requests, with the evidence of my 78 friends listed) or follow my secret Intagram Diary, and add the fact that he likes to qoute movies like Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird (which I’m obsessed, Fave part was Christine’s audition where she sang “Everybody Says Don’t”, it’s literal and symbolic at the same time) and that he’s a lefty and I’ve heard about the myths of lefties and their campground behavior towards the carnal. How I’m such in an itch to pump out the verses of Lil Timmy Tim’s “Statistics” to him because he’d get how funny that is, and that I can make him squirm, giggle and laugh. Because I do. I did those.

Now he’s not some imagined guy. He’s actually real. That’s a rare thing, considering where I live. Never have I thought the universe is this sick. And his name is also Tim, and he knows. I know he knows I eye him differently. And as much as I know it would creep him, it creeps me the hell out, too. The fact that this guy I just imagined could be freaking TEACHING ME.

Because that’s the worst part. That’s where I hit the brakes. Because If I keep on smiling like a fool, whenever I look into those coffee brown round pebbles he passes off as eyes, it’s fucking Christmas morning. And I think I can’t get enough tower strenght to tie myself up with my ropes and not lunge at him and give him a tight hug and kiss his face. And damned be my trichophilia. Damned be the fact that we were born a day apart, in the same year (& other illogical signs) and that his smile is a dreadful temptation. It terrifies me. Like how I watched that haunted house film as a child, where they pay a bunch of takers in just to get murdered one by one, and the sole survivor gets all psycho and continues the killling spree after the experience. What I’m saying is it’s insane. How am I this easy?

I have been constantly rubbing my face with my palm. Not this again.

Losing without having.

So red lights flash. Literally.

As I snapped out of the words and scenes replaying in my head as the jeep leaves the downtown area and I’m in the comfort of the PWD seat in front, away from everyone, where I can privately stare out, wear my fake glasses so I can’t be obvious when tears escape from my eyes. I have one rule. One that I have established ever since when I was younger but failed to comply to, “Hambert, look to the ground. That way, you’ll hurt less”

The night summed up to the words of Sufjan Stevens song playing in my headphones.

“Beloved of John, I got it all wrong, I read you like some kind of poem…” or maybe I just can’t wrap my head around the thought of how his face reminds me of home.

Somehow, I knew it just did not make sense. Some brakes don’t work, too.

and this where I might swerve to a curve or hit a damned brick wall.

[helloworlddemo1122-yahoopar-blog]

Rachel Morrison Reacts to Oscar Nomination for Cinematography, Talks 'Black Panther' (Exclusive)

Mudbound director of photography Rachel Morrison made history on Tuesday when she became the first woman ever to be nominated for the Best Cinematography award in the 90-year history of the Academy Awards. Her nomination also marks the last of any non-gender specific categories to recognize a woman.

Her nomination comes for her work on Mudbound, which was directed by Dee Rees, who was also nominated alongside Virgil Williams for Best Adapted Screenplay, becoming the first black woman to be recognized in that category. Mary J. Blige also picked up two nominations, for Best Supporting Actress and Best Original Song for “Mighty River,” which she co-wrote with Raphael Saadiq and Taura Stinson.

On her way to the 2018 Sundance Film Festival, where she’s sitting on the competition jury, Morrison found out about her nomination only moments before boarding a flight from Los Angeles to Utah. Still in “complete shock,” she spoke with ET by phone as she attempts to get settled in Park City.

“It's been a dream forever for me and it's a dream come true now. I hope that it opens the door to more women seeking a path in cinematography,” Morrison said of her “groundbreaking” nomination. “It's about goddamn time,” she continued, recognizing some of the many female DPs -- Mandy Walker (Hidden Figures) and Nancy Schreiber (The Nines) -- that have come before her. “Better late than never I suppose.”

However, the excitement is “bittersweet” because she feels that Rees should have also been recognized more. “She put together this incredible team of mostly badass female department heads,” Morrison said, speaking to the fact that Rees filled a number of key roles behind the camera with women. In addition to Morrison handling cinematography, Mako Kamitsuna (Pariah) handled editing, Tamar-Kali (Bessie) composed music and Angie Wells (black-ish) led the makeup department, among others.

Today’s Oscar nom couldn’t have seemed further away not long ago so I hope it tells all the dreamers out there (especially the young girls with cameras in their hands) that ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE. Thank you to Dee Rees and to the Academy for making my dream a reality. #oscarnoms

— Rachel Morrison (@morrisondp) January 23, 2018

The recognition for Mudbound does follow a standout year for female filmmakers. Patty Jenkins broke records with Wonder Woman, while Greta Gerwig’s Lady Bird became a front-runner at this year’s Oscars, earning Gerwig nominations for Best Director and Best Original Screenplay. (The film is also nominated for Best Picture.) Female storytellers dominated the 2017 Emmys, with Reed Morano and Ava DuVernay taking home directing awards. Meanwhile, Sofia Coppola became the second woman ever to win the Cannes Film Festival prize for Best Director for The Beguiled.

Despite that, Morrison feels there’s a quota on certain categories, particularly at the Academy Awards, where Gerwig was the only woman nominated in the directing category, while Rees and Jenkins were both left out.

“There gets to be one female director and one black film,” she says, referring to Get Out, which was nominated for four Oscars, “and I don't think it should be that way. We're 50 percent of the population -- it would be nice if we were 50 percent of the nominations as well, you know? I'm happy that Greta is nominated. It would certainly be a lot worse if nobody was representing, but I think Dee should be standing there alongside her.”

Morrison, who previously worked on The Hills, has since handled cinematography for Fruitvale Station, Cake, Dope and HBO’s Confirmation. She was nominated for a 2016 Primetime Emmy for What Happened, Miss Simone? But the Oscar nomination for Mudbound kicks off a high-profile year for Morrison, whose next film is Black Panther, reuniting her with director Ryan Coogler and Michael B. Jordan.

“Ryan is the best human being to walk the Earth. I feel like the best thing about Black Panther was getting to spend six months with Ryan,” she said of the director, adding that she enjoyed getting to see Jordan “blossom” onscreen. “It’s such a different role than anything else I've seen him do before. Anytime he was on set, it felt like getting the band back together. There was this palpable energy.”

A sure-to-be blockbuster film, Morrison compared the experience to that of Mudbound, where many of the key production roles were filled by women or people of color. “I've had two films back-to-back with exceptionally diverse and gender-equal producers and department heads,” she said. “That’s a testament to Ryan and Dee.”

Still absorbing the shock of all the recognition and attention (“The irony is, as DP, I think we like to be behind the camera -- we seek out anonymity”), Morrison is looking forward to her time at Sundance and using this moment to help usher in a new era of female filmmakers.

“I have a responsibility to the young women coming up to take this moment and be in the spotlight,” Morrison said, while also looking back on her own experience at Sundance.

“I think back to my first Sundance, which was close to seven years ago now, and the terrified but excited young filmmaker -- my career has certainly changed as a result of the films here. Sound of My Voice made me a viable DP when nobody would take me seriously before that. And Fruitvale was obviously a game changer for me. So, I'm excited to discover the next wave of talent. Hopefully this festival can really open doors for the future Dee Rees, the future Ryan Cooglers and the future Greta Gerwigs.”

The 90th annual Academy Awards will be hosted by Jimmy Kimmel at the Dolby Theatre in Hollywood on Sunday, March 4 and will air live starting at 8 p.m. ET / 5 p.m. PT on ABC.

RELATED CONTENT:

2018 Oscar Nominations: The Complete List

A History of Female Writers and Directors at the Oscars

Greta Gerwig Is Fifth Woman Ever Nominated for Best Director Oscar

[surveysonfleek]

635.

5000 Question Survey Pt. 41

3901. What is the most annoying tv ad? idk, i hardly watch tv anymore. 3902. If you died, how would you hope others would remember you? for making them happy. 3903. Name 2 questions that you will most likely never say 'no' to: 1. do you want a massage? 2. do you want free tickets to (anything)? 3904. What is the softest part of your body? boobs lol. 3905. What family do you want to see in place of the Osbournes when they finally stop doing their show? none. never really got into those family reality shows.

3906. If you could pick 3 bands to go on tour together who would they be? meh, idk. solo artists would be cooler. 3907. What is a main differance between western and eastern philospohy? i don’t knowwwww. 3908. Would you be fooled by Joe/Josephine Millionaire? yeah but i wouldn’t let that stop me if i actually fell in love with them. 3909. Do you believe Michael Jackson does innoprpriate things at his Neverland Ranch? Like what? honestly, unless there’s solid proof i don’t think we’ll ever know.  3910. What do you think of gov. Ryan who cleared out Illinois' death row? idk anything about it. 3911. Would you want a $500 gift certificate to: Kmart or Target? either or, i’d gladly take it. Macy's or Hot Topic? macy’s. Border's Books or Spencer Gifts? borders. Victoria's Secret or Frederick's of Hollywood? vs. 3912. What do you think of this website: www.blackpeopleloveus.com/ feeling too lazy to click it lol. 3913. Man vs Elephant. A zookeeper was treating a constipated elephant. He gave her too much laxitive. Suddenly everything exploded out onto the zookeeper. He was knocked to the ground where he hit his head on a rock and got knocked out. There he suffocated under a pile of elephant dung. True story. Is it a funny story? If yes, what is funny about it? Why is it so taboo to laugh at death? i think it’s unfortunate. it’s not funny to joke about death. 3914. What are your favorite five things from this list: alternate realities, animals, astronomy, birds, camus, cats, cheap trick, cocaine, cooking, costumes, dancing, elvis, gambling, greta garbo, james dean, jeff buckley, joy division, marilyn monroe, mixed drinks, moody blues, morrissey, mozart, my bloody valentine, orbital, pizza, playing flute, prince, radiohead, rummy 500, scrabble, table tennis, talk talk, van morrison, writing cooking, mixed drinks, scrabble, gambling, pizza. 3915. Do you have to read lots to be able to write well? not always but it can definitely help expand your vocab. 3916. Vanilla ice. Everyone loved him, suddenly everyone hated him. What was the deal?? too young to have followed him. 3917. If you could kick one person out of the grammies who would it be (Avril, Eminem, etc)? taylor swift lmao. 3918. Studies have revealed that when sending out a resume a person has a 50% higher chance of getting a responce if their name is white sounding than if it is black sounding. What do you think about this? it sucks. it’s not even just ‘black sounding’, it’s just ‘ethnic sounding’. Why do companies respond this way? ask them. 3919. Should Big Fat Greek Wedding really be a Big Fat Greek sitcom? idk. 3920. What are you addicted to? sleep. 3921. What fascinates you? a lot of things. i’m easily amused lol. 3922. What is fascinating about you? idk :( 3923. Personality wise, is anything the same for all human beings and if so, what? we’re all conscious? idk lol. 3924. What kind of a contest woud you have a shot at winning? post your favourite travel photo and tell us why. lol idk. 3925. You see a dirty punk kid who had a giant cowboy hat on who is rolling his own cigarettes. Your impression? nothing. who am i to judge? 3926. What would you never want to have more than 2 of? cars. lol idk. 3927. Is there a movie you just could not finish watching? What and why? star wars, the one with natalie portman and hayden christensen. idk i was really young, everyone at school talked about how cool star wars was so my godmother took me to the movies and it was just way too long and boring. 3928. Is there anyone that you love and want to be around for no explainable reason? sure. 3929. Would you go to times square for new years? no, it’s a living nightmare in my eyes. only way i’d do it is if my hotel room overlooked times square lol. 3930. Do you think that there are to many signs blocking up the scenery? not really, it’s part of the appeal. 3931. Did video really kill the radio star? meh. 3932. What was your favorite atari game? idk. 3933. what is your favorite neon color? blue/purple. 3934. Do you get depressed eveytime it rains? If yes, why? no, i actually love it. i do feel a little gloomy if i have to go to work while it’s raining though. 3935. 'The more you admit that all your actions are robotic, the less robotic you are.' What does Tim leary mean by this? you’re acknowledging you’re being robotic so it suggests you’re actually conscious of it rather than just doing it without realizing. Do you agree or disagree and why? eh, neither. i don’t really relate to it. How much of your actions do you admit are robotic? not much tbh. 3936. Are we not men? i’m not. 3937. Is it easy to be you? Would being someone else make it any easier? it’s actually very easy to be me right now. 3938. Why are sex religion and politics such taboo subjects? too many conflicting opinions, that’s why. 3939. Is there really a differance between republicans and democrats? different beliefs. 3940. Imagine someone has a great personality, sense or humor, family and job. they also really really like you a lot. Would you consider dating them if they: were fat? limped? were a midget? had hiv? were paralized in one arm? had a glass eye? had only 6 months to live? i would honestly consider all of these. i’m not one to really analyse a situation if i start falling in love. 3941. What makes you experiance nostalgia? old photos, music, movies, memories etc. 3942. What do you remember about these historical figures: Woodrow Wilson? an american president? lol idk i’m not americans. Hellen Keller? she was both deaf and blind. amazing woman, google how she used to communicate with her carer, it’s awesome. Christopher Columbus? founder of places and shit. 3943. Out of the above three figures, one is a huge racist, one is a socialist and one is a slave trader. Can you guess which is which? Racist: no idea. socialist: slave trader: 3944. Betcha they didn't tell you that in american history. Wilson, Keller and Columbus are painted as heros, impossibly good, ideal people. Why are so many things ommitted from and lied about in american history text books? i’m australian, i wasn’t taught american history.  3945. Do you drink super caffinated energy drinks? no. 3946. eminem or moby? eminem. 3947. spongebob or the animanicas? animaniacs. 3948. Why do people rush to grow up only to wish they were a child again? idk. that’s just how life is. 3949. Why do people sacrifice their health to obtain moneya d then use the money to restore their health? i don’t think they realize they’re doing that. 3950. Jetsons or Flintstones? jetsons. 3951. What are you saving up for? a house. 3952. Would you rather improve your cooking, creativity, body,logic or charisma? body. 3953. Is it more important to have stregnth or speed? strength. 3954. What is your favorite thing to do each day? sleep. 3955. When you are driving do you ever feel like turning the car towards someplace unfamiliar and not comming back? no, i absolutely hate driving to places that i’m unfamiliar with lol. 3956. Have you ever gone to lunch at a job and never gone back to the job? no. 3957. What kind of a dining room set defines you as a person? a normal plate, knife, fork, spoon and glass lol. 3958. Kiss, with or without the make up? without is a lot easier. 3959. Madonna or Courtney Love? madonna. 3960. Are you down with james Brown? i only know one of his songs. 3961. Do you believe in miracles? not really. actually, sorta. 3962. Are you living a lie? no. 3963. If you had to give up one would it be caled ID or call waiting? call waiting. 3964. Are you ready to switch to an electric or solar powered car? i’d love to if i could afford it. 3965. What is the greatest band of the 90's? idk lol. 3966. What's the appeal of Alley Mcbeal? nothing. my mum did love that show though. 3967. Fill in the blank. ___ aint the kind of place to raise a kid. a casino. 3968. What song goes: starry eye surprise, sundown to sunrise, we're gonna dance all night to this dj' and who is it by? idk. 3969. What ever happened to the mtv vj Kennedy? no idea.  3970. if you could sing with one band for a day what band and what song would you want it to be? haha idk. 3971. Josie and the PussyCats or Jem? josie and the pussycats. 3972. Wouldn't oyu like to be a pepper too? no. 3973. Britney spears, school girl or sexy, which do you prefer? either or. the britney in toxic was fire. 3974. Would you get married on tv? no lol. 3975. Where do you go looking for the secrets of life? nowhere. i don’t care for secrets. 3976. What is the fuel for your soul? inspiration. 3977. Why do people watch american idol (I think it's for Simon)? no idea. 3978. What makes life sweet? being around people you love and doing things you love. 3979. What does it take to make a great band? chemistry. 3980. What do you think of when you hear the word 'devo'? devastated. 3981. What song or movie represents the 80's for you? the breakfast club. 3982. What song poem or other piece of writing would you want read when you died? not sure. 3983. Is a stable job home and family pretty much your goal or do you want more than that and WHAT? i would definitely want that and more. mostly happiness really. 3984. What tv show that is no longer on tv do you miss? the office! 3985. Remember when Chris from nirvana threw his bass in the air and hit himself in the head with it? nope. 3986. What commercial is really annoying you(almonds, want some almonds, you're a big fellow aren't you)??? i hardly watch tv. 3987. Nominate a rockstar for president: kanye lol. 3988. Who amazes you? myself haha. 3989. What's the best musical act to come outta your own country? another country? idkkkkk. 3990. Is your life glamorous and exciting? not at all. 3991. Greatest oldschool rap artist: tupac. greatest newschool rap artist: kanye or kendrick. 3992. DJ Jazzy jeff or Will Smith, which persona? will smith. 3993. Ever try yoga? no. i’d like to though. 3994. Are you a brick shit house? no. 3995. What products do you use? depends for what? i use a lot of products for different things. 3996. How good do you look? not good right now. 3997. Tonight you're going to party like_________ i’m about to sleep lol. 3998. Have you ever written a song? as a kid, yes. if yes did you record it? no. 3999. What would you like to have 999 of? $100 bills. 4000. Do you own a metal detector? no.

[gwynnew]

'Lady Bird' and 'Three Billboards' star Lucas Hedges on 'magical unicorn' Saoirse Ronan and his faux rivalry with Timothée Chalamet

Lucas Hedges, right, with Saoirse Ronan in Lady Bird. (Photo: A24/courtesy Everett Collection)

In Greta Gerwig’s coming-of-age film Lady Bird, Lucas Hedges performs a jubilant number from Into the Woods, dances in a rose garden with Saoirse Ronan, and collapses into giggles while microwaving late-night snacks with his friends. Anyone who saw Hedges’s Oscar-nominated performance as a grieving son in 2016’s Manchester by the Sea will recognize this as a dramatic shift in tone — which is just what the 21-year-old actor was looking for, he told Yahoo Entertainment. Hedges plays Danny, a Catholic high school senior in Sacramento in 2002, who becomes the first boyfriend — and first heartbreak — of the title character, played by Ronan. It’s one of two memorable minor roles Hedges took on in 2017, the other being Frances McDormand’s son in the darkly comic crime film Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. Neither part is big enough to merit the awards-season attention Hedges received last year, but he’s fine with that. Instead, he’s enjoying the experience of watching his friend (and Lady Bird co-star) Timothée Chalamet garner the same kind of buzz for his performance in Call Me by Your Name. When Yahoo spoke with Hedges in late November, Chalamet had just won the Gotham Award for Breaththrough Actor, the category in which Hedges was nominated in 2016. The thoughtful and humble Hedges talked to Yahoo Entertainment about making Lady Bird, compared the acting styles of Ronan (“a unicorn”) and McDormand (“iconic”), and shared the personal hazards of living through awards season (“I started losing track of reality”).

Yahoo Entertainment: Thanks for taking the time to talk to me! I was just watching Timothée Chalamet’s Gotham Awards speech— Lucas Hedges: Oh my God! Wait, that’s so funny. I just saw it, too! Isn’t it amazing? [laughs] It’s hilarious. I texted him about it last night and was like, “Dude, that was so funny and amazing and eloquent, and you’re killing it.’”

Well, I was thinking about you, because in an interview with Vulture about your great run of films, you said something like, “I’m not having Timmy Chalamet’s year or anything.” [laughs] I know, I know.

I mean, I wouldn’t put it that way! But do you feel like he’s going through some of the things you went through last year? Oh, to-tally. The joke that I have with Timothée, or the joke that we have together — hopefully I’m not throwing him under a bus right now — is that we’re both so threatened by each other. We’re both like, “Dude, I’m so threatened by you!” “What? I’m so threatened by you!” But we have such a great friendship because I have so much respect and love for everything he does, and I’ve just come to really love him as a friend and as an artist. But as far as I’m concerned, he’s having an even crazier year than I did. He just won a Gotham Award for the category that I was nominated in, and he’s on the cover of all these weird magazines. I mean, he’s becoming like, this crazy icon. [laughs] And I can’t say that that happened to me.

You’re the face of Dior. I feel like you’re underselling yourself a little bit. Oh, OK. I have a history of doing that to myself so you may be right. But I feel like I’m grateful that he’s going through this because it makes me feel less alone.

Lucas Hedges at the National Board of Review Awards 2017 in New York. (Photo: Kristin Callahan/Everett Collection)

I always wonder about how people process these experiences of fame. You can’t Google “how to handle losing an Oscar,” “how to handle winning an Oscar;” even “what do I bring to the Oscars?” Do you feel like you need to warn Timothée about anything or prepare him for anything? You know, there’s a part of me that wants to be like: Meditate every day. Do yoga. Really get clear with who you are. But I can’t tell him that because that’s not what I did, and I really just think he should live it, and do whatever he wants to do. And what I mean by that is not “go crazy,” but just, you’re a good person, and do whatever feels natural to you in these moments. If you want to go out and celebrate, go celebrate. You deserve to celebrate! And he is 21, so he [can] have a drink; don’t lose control. And if you do feel like you’re on the verge of losing control, then start meditating [laughs] and take care of yourself. But I do think it’s a time to actually celebrate.

And if there ever comes a day that I go through that again — I just think it’s kind of hard, and I started losing track of reality. When most of your conversations are interviews and you’re thinking about, just how everything you do is perceived, then how every word that comes out of your mouth is filtered through an interview lens — it gets complicated and confusing. And it sort of becomes plastic. So I guess maybe I have advice for him? But I feel like I’m in the same position as him still. I have no idea what I’m doing, still.

I talked to Greta a couple weeks ago about how she created the environment on set, and how she conveyed the idea of what it was like to be a teenager before everyone had cellphones and fast internet. How did you wrap your head around that idea? I know she makes you put away your phones. For the two years before this year, I had a flip phone. I was living with a flip phone when I got offered the part, just because I was on my iPhone way too much. I’ve also gone entire periods of my life without having a phone, so it’s hard to imagine a world without it, but I know what it’s like to live without it. Oh, but then again it’s the time before flip phones — even a flip phone is futuristic! [laughs] But I also feel like that’s kind of insignificant when it comes down to playing the part… It’s not about the fact that I don’t have a phone, it’s about, what do I want as a human being? Ultimately the movie could take place at any time, anywhere.

One of the themes in the film is Lady Bird wanting more than her parents gave her. When I was growing up in the suburbs, I was in awe of kids like you, who have glamorous artsy parents and live in the city. So was that idea something that you could connect to at all? [laughs] It’s so interesting because I grew up in Brooklyn, my dad’s a filmmaker. My parents aren’t celebrities or anything, but I grew up with the life that someone who didn’t live in New York City, who’s an artist and wants to be an actor, would long for. And I spent my entire childhood longing for, of course, another life. I just wanted to live in England and have English parents. So it’s weird how we always find the thing that we don’t have. It’s sort of the obvious cliché, the grass is always greener thing. But yeah, part of the reason why I wanted to be an actor in movies is so I could escape the world that I grew up in — not because it was uninhabitable or dangerous, it was a very safe place, but because there’s always somewhere more magical. And I’m only now beginning to love where I’m from, weirdly, and only now am I getting really grateful for the parents that I have. But I’m always sort of trying to find my way out of what I was born into, which is just weird. Like even now — like you said, I did get nominated for an Academy Award, but there’s still a part of me that’s like, “Well I’m not having Timothée Chalamet’s year!” [laughs]

J. Cole did this great song called “Love Yourz”, which is just an amazing song about how you’re never going to be happy until can you figure out how to love the life that you have. And he really, he has some great lyrics — you should listen to it. It’s a really beautiful song. I can hear it in my head right now.

There’s a lightness in your performance in this film that’s really lovely to see. There are light moments in Manchester, but having been introduced to you through that, it’s nice to see you, for example, juggling French fries. [laughs]  Oh yeah, that’s funny! Have you seen the movie more than once? Because that happens in the blink of an eye. Yeah, that was one of the reasons why I really — well, one, I got to have a love storyline with Saoirse Ronan, who’s just the most amazing actress, and that was one of the things that really drew me to doing the movie to begin with. But also, it is very light and it is very fun, particularly the musical theater aspect to it, which I wanted to do so badly. And I’m not a singer, but I love the idea of singing, and just committing yourself whole-heartedly to something. And giving yourself over to it even if it is really stupid — like even if you’re part of a stupid high school theater production, there’s something amazing and so earnest about giving yourself over to that, which I really wanted to do.

Lucas Hedges with Saoirse Ronan in Lady Bird. (Photo: A24/courtesy Everett Collection)

I imagine the set being like a giant high school cast party. It truly was. I was saying in an interview earlier today that I’d go over to Beanie’s house and we’d watch The Bachelor and The Bachelorette. It just felt like summer camp. It was essentially the summer in Los Angeles a year ago, and I had never really lived in L.A. before, and it just felt like a new realm of experiences and excitement and fun. And, god, I’d give anything to do it all over again.

Both times I saw the film, my immediate reaction when it ended was to think, No, keep going! I hear that they’re doing a Call Me by Your Name sequel, so they should do a Lady Bird sequel. [laughs]

I’m going to ask you a difficult question that I’m not sure anyone else could answer: How does the experience of doing a scene with Saoirse Ronan compare to doing a scene with Frances McDormand? Interesting! (Deep breath) Well you know, it’s so bizarre, because ultimately — I mean, I’m still so new to acting, but it’s like, how do you exist with two different human beings? Like when you meet one person who’s entirely different from another person, it’s not going to be the same; it’s going to be entirely different. It’s the reason why we have some friends and not others, it’s the reason why we marry one person and don’t marry the other. So getting to act with Saoirse was a completely different world from getting to act with Frances, because they’re completely different people at completely different stages of their lives. I mean, Frances in Three Billboards is sort of like this iconic figure who’s broken and is fighting for what she believes in to the point of, she’ll fight till her death. And that’s kind of, I think, true for who Frances is. I think Frances represents a lot of what Mildred represents. And Saoirse is a unicorn. Saoirse is like this majestic creature from a far-off land, and I think that’s true even when she’s playing a girl from California. She is a unicorn even then. The thing that stands out for me of getting to work with Saoirse is her eyes. She just has the most magical eyes, and you can get everything from looking into her eyes. And that’s sort of my experience working with both of them.

Lucas Hedges and Frances McDormand in Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. (Photo: Merrick Morton /Fox Searchlight Pictures/ Everett Collection)

Three Billboards is much more emotionally intense in a lot of ways. But it’s also very funny. That was very apparent from the script, is that it was sort of dark and twisted in its humor. It’s also crazy that this movie was written and made way before Trump became president — not that it has anything to do with the president, but the craziest stuff is happening in American and it’s very timely. I have no idea how to really take in any movie that I’ve been in, just because I don’t know how to divorce it from the experience of making it, but I wonder what it’s like for people to see that movie right now.

When you have those intense, emotional scenes — the scene where you’re holding a knife to John Hawkes’s throat in Three Billboards, even the coffee shop scene in Lady Bird — how do you get yourself into that head space? I’m still learning how to get into the head space of those scenes. But music is really big for me; music can get me lost in a world very easily and bring me back to a time in my life that’s similar to the one I’m exploring in the scene. And also just energizing my body, really moving around and getting my breath going and activating my solar plexus. It’s a lot of sort of boring actor-y things that help me a lot. I lean on music most of all though.

Read more from Yahoo Entertainment:

Beanie Feldstein on her dancing, cheese-eating ‘Lady Bird’ role and her breakout year

‘Lady Bird’: How Greta Gerwig gave wings to her Oscar-buzzing directorial debut

Three Billboards’ director Martin McDonagh on Tarantino comparisons, telling off priests, and making an American hero of Frances McDormand

Sam Rockwell on channeling American rage in ‘Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri’

2018 preview: The 50 movies we’re most excited to see

[thefriday5]

December 1, 2017

Is there a Christmas song that plays on repeat in your head all month? Mine is Sleigh Bells (it’ll-be-the-perfect-ending-to-the-PERFect-day, just over n over). I don’t mind though, and if you see me bopping my head at my desk, you can assume it’s sleigh bells jingle-in, ring-ting-tingle-in too.

Lady Bird (2017), Greta Gerwig. Ok so I didn’t read this but I did see it this week and absolutely loved it (see above photo of my man at the theater). Such a life-affirming film, and one that upholds the dignity of women and girls and the complexity of their relationships, which is something I need a good bit more of in films.

So Much Synth, Brenda Shaughnessy. An excellent book of poetry that also examines being young and a girl, and how vulnerable that is. She does something really clever involving mixtapes too, but I won’t spoil it.

The Evolution of Miss Scarlet, the Hairpin. Kinda fun to look at different iterations of the femme fatale Clue character. Here’s a few more versions of the lady that always rolls first (although there’s a tacky joke at the end of that post that I do not endorse).

Rebecca Traister on the Post-Weinstein Reckoning, the Cut. “Still, I’m half-frustrated by men who can’t differentiate between harmless flirtation and harassment, because I believe that most women can. The other half of me is glad that these guys are doing this accounting, reflecting on the instances in which they wielded power. Maybe some didn’t realize at the time that they were putting the objects of their attention at a disadvantage, but I must acknowledge that some, even my friends, surely did.” Content warning for discussion of sexual harassment. A helpful piece.

The 8 Types of Friends You Need to Be Happy in Life. I LOVED thinking about the different types of friends, and which one I am (could your type vary depending on the relationship? I think so), and contemplating how to be a better friend. If you can only read one of this Friday’s 5, read this one!