#and then i’ll probably have to reset my tumblr password to log on and start spewing shit about maxiel again

[fiveredlights]

the next time red bull get a blond european world champion with their older brown haired what could’ve been australian teammate pairing i just know it’s gonna fuck the world up again

[kiefbowl]

this is random but how long have you been using this account? i remember you as some of the first people i followed when i discovered radical feminism

I had to look up my archive to remember but it looks like I started this blog in June of 2016, as long as I didn’t delete all post prior to June for some reason (I don’t really delete posts, it’s too much work lol. try not to go fishing for anything embarrassing I beg everyone). I would have been aawb then. Plus that timeline feels right, because I had to remake bc around that time ish tumblr out of nowhere reset everyone’s passwords and my email address was tied to a college email I didn’t have access too and there was no recovery. so I had a side blog for about a year or two as radfemeudaimonia, then tumblr reset people’s passwords, and I could only access that blog and my other blogs at the time via the app because that never logged me out. I did that for like 2-3 months, and then gave up and just abandoned those and remade a new account as aawb. Before making radfemuedaimonia, I had been on tumblr on my main account for like who even knows how long, but years. So I’ve been around on tumblr a long time. I changed my url from aawb to kiefbowl probably around nov/dec of 2017, which is weird to realize that because I thought I was aawb for a really long time, but I guess not and I’ve been kiefbowl for longer now. anyway, that’s my rambling history on tumblr, which is not really what you asked for, but I’m glad you asked because I had to look up and take stock of my history which is good to do from time to time and gd I’ve been here a long time lol. 

If you’ve been here a long time with me, you’ve probably notice I’ve changed how I use tumblr a lot. Tumblr used to be so so so important to me in expressing my ideas and finding theory on feminism and connecting with other women. I was also younger, under employed, struggling, angry as fuck, and super depressed. I would spend a lot more time trying to get well written “discourse” posts out there and answered a lot more asks. I def think my edge has dulled a bit, for better and for worse. I’ve come to terms with the ways tumblr has also been very unproductive and unhealthy for me as well, and I’m just older. The need for validation was something I was blind to at 25, I realize how important that was for me in hindsight, and now it’s not that important to me. I know what I believe, I know how I act, I know what’s incongruent, I don’t really need strangers weighing in, even if I like them. I feel I know a lot of mutuals, but I also have come to terms we don’t really know each other. There are a lot of people on radblr (whatever that means) I admire for their posts or attitude or jokes, but I know we might not actually get along if we met in real life. Lately, I’m more focused on my immediate community. I’m trying to put a lot of energy into my irl relationships (including the men I know!) because I think that’s more worthwhile of my time and you have to put what you read into practice at some point. You have to see what the consequences of your words in real time, it’s at times surprising and humbling, which makes it worthwhile. 

I have met a few people from tumblr in real life. some of it has worked out, some of it hasn’t. some of it not working is my fault, bc I had a lot of dips in depression over the past few years. I think about reaching out to them and making it better all the time, and I think I will once covid is done. I met up with someone once and I got creepy anons I ignored who knew about it at some point and then she published a couple anons that creeped me out too (I don’t know if she realizes it) and unfortunately that was one of the reasons I put some distance between us, not that I was conscious of it really but I see it now in hindsight, and became reeeeeaaaally conscious of what I said and posted here and who I met up with, which since has been one other person and no one else. These were people going “I’m so excited to hear you met up with x” and she got an anon she published that said “I think you and aawb should start dating” and I was like “okay there be freaks on tumblr” and since then I just really put a lot of distance between me and the non mutuals here. It’s very clear between me and other mutuals who are “big” (whatever that means tbh) that I’ve talked to it about that there are unwell people on tumblr who project a whole lot of shit onto you even if they admire you. Psychologically, that can wear on you more than dumbass misogynists who argue with you, because they’re just flash in the pan and to them you’re faceless, you’re anybody, you don’t matter. But people who are sycophantic think they know you (not suggesting you are anon, your ask seems completely reasonable. I ignore shit like that now, I’ve stop publishing those anons) and they say weird stuff that is like...dumb. like “you’re the smartest person in the world” or whatever and it’s like, obviously that is not true and it’s not actually appreciated. I’m just regular, we’re all regular people on here.

I’ll be real, I think about archiving this blog by keeping my posts I like and am proud of and deleting everything else, and not deactivating but bouncing. At one point or another, tumblr is going to phase out of my life. It’s probably going to happen sooner than later, I just feel old at this point and sometimes I find it a little embarrassing idk. 

I’m glad you’ve enjoyed my blog and I’ve helped you in whatever ways I have to help you find feminism. I hope you keep at it and remember to talk to as many women as possible as much as you can! :)

It was fun decompressing my history with this anon, it’s actually helped me a little gain some perspective, so thank you anon, even if that wasn’t your intention lol. I do what I want lmao.

[omegafrisk]

omegafrisk is om-over-frisk, apologies, and unreleased stuff

i want to preface this by saying that every time i admit to a mistake i get people trying to minimise it. if you’re getting ready to do that, please don’t. it makes me feel terrible. even if you don’t agree with how i feel, i violated my own morals, and that means a lot to me!

so, omegafrisk is definitely over. it’s partially that i was in a bad bad place when i started this comic and it’s always gonna be tied to that for me, partially that i’ve just become a much better writer since then and i’d have to reboot the whole thing to be satisfied with it, and partially just that i’m not into undertale enough to make a whole comic anymore.

and speaking of being in a bad place: letting that bleed through into my writing is what i want to apologise for. i’ve come to realise i was a victim of grooming when i started this comic (and as i continued to write it). it messed me up, and i wrote messed up stuff because i just didn’t know better. the child gore, the flippant use of suicide, the extremely inappropriate jokes about kids, probably other stuff i don’t remember - it all disgusts me now. i’m so sorry i put that out into the world and that it took me so long to address it.

i thought about password protecting this blog and shutting it down altogether, but i’ve decided i won’t do that. after wrestling with tumblr a bit i think i’ve deleted  the worst stuff, but if you think there’s anything else i should get rid of please bring it to my attention through IM, or through the submit box if you’re shy (you can submit anonymously if you log out).

again, don’t defend me. if you don’t agree keep it to yourself. i will block you if you try to minimise this.

heavy stuff out of the way, onto the content, which i’m sure most of you are much more interested in.

ABOUT THE STORY

i thought about releasing my entire plot outline, but... it sucks. that thing predates mad mew mew. it’s terrible. there’s barely even any detail. whatever you’ve come up with yourself is more interesting.

i do have plenty of stuff to share though! this summary got long as hell, so the rest is going under a cut.

since it’s so long, i’ll put the one thing i am mostly happy with here (obviously sui/child death implications):

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1modE5IQiwNIwRPHBBkwADAEbPttbpIzJBWFaBZlvYHY/edit?usp=sharing

this is the script for an ask i was planning for ages. first written in 2016 apparently?? with the help of the fantastic emouse. it’s a look on what was going on in the original timeline while frisk and chara were off gallivanting through spacetime.

the one thing i’m not pleased with is i don’t think it’s totally ic for flowey to start resetting again. i left it in though ‘cause i don’t feel like updating it.

another thing i’ll leave you is the playlist of instrumental themes i collected for chara and frisk, which i don’t think i ever released. this must also be from about 2016.

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLVSr-S6q61wCF5IFuBO2Ipl0Nb-u3r4xo

it starts out with frisk’s themes, life/universe and high score are shared themes, and after that chara’s themes begin.

summaries of the rest of the event and the ending under the cut!

A WRINKLE IN TIME

i can at least summarise the rest of the event i had planned. mettaton was about to turn the tables on everyone by having a camera crew burst through the ceiling (which were gonna be some people’s cameo’d ocs). he’d broadcast the debate over who got the soul live to try and bully everyone into giving him it. he had some fair points - he’s the only one of them that’s literally indestructible (at least to monsters and small children) - but both asgore and undyne were determined that they would be the ones to take it.

flowey would then pop up with his own plan. he’d kill everyone in the room except for charadyne (and mettaton just because, again, indestructible to magic). it would’ve been a cool little animation that scrolled past everyone’s shocked faces as bullets appeared behind them with that jarring sound effect they have in game, then cut to black with a cacophony of them all turning to dust.

this was all to force charadyne to load their save. he thought they’d be able to load to before undyne absorbed chara’s soul, which would be impossible as that moment would’ve been undyne’s first save point. (i’m only now realising the hole in this - surely he would’ve known that after his fusion with chara? but wait, he didn’t know about resets until he was revived, can beasts just not save? fucking undertale man)

regardless, chara and undyne would try to reset to, in chara’s words, “the last time you were... filled with... determination”. i wanted to do an animatic to half of [this song]. sweet chimes as undyne rifles back through her memories for that moment, building up to her getting ready - a blast of sound as it rips the timeline to shreds.

chara’s soul is so fragmented, only exacerbated by being in a foreign timeline, that they can’t reset properly. i was thinking of styling the catastrophic glitch that resulted after an undertale corruption because those things scare the shit out of me and also can be fucking hilarious. love me some comedic horror.

chara and undyne would eventually figure out they had to leave the timeline and manually straighten it out. because it was knotted. it was wr. there was a wrinkle. in the timeline. a wrinkle in time. because the event is called. it’s c. a wrinkle in time

that’s where i was hazy on details - you can see just how much was made up as i went along. somehow, they’d be separated, and undyne would have left enough dt in chara’s soul that they’d be able to go down to the human village and yoink some souls from the mausoleum there. (i had worldbuilding stuff around that - the soul jars used in the underground are based off what humans use for burial in general. burying your body in a grave = having your soul stored in a mausoleum. there’d also be equivalents to cremation and such)

i hadn’t really thought much about that - the actual idea was that chara would find their old house and we’d get a flashback sequence about their backstory (eugh, glad i didn’t get around to that). and then, idk, the mausoleum would be empty or something? i didn’t think about what might happen if they were actually able to get all those souls. that is to say, i didn’t think about the story implications - i totally thought about chara becoming a cool shapeshifting rainbow beast because i’m like that.

THE ENDING

rest assured there was gonna be a happy ending. chara and frisk were gonna have a big cool battle bursting through various timelines where frisk tried to talk chara down and chara tried to kick frisk’s ass. at the end, frisk would’ve given up and let chara kill them. but chara wouldn’t have been able to. as viciously as they attacked, they could only do a single point of damage - they and frisk are both made of magic now, and magic works on emotion, and chara cannot truly hate frisk enough to end their life.

so they would’ve made up, broken the barrier in their original timeline together, and lived happily ever after with no more resets.

i remember daydreaming an animatic of the two of them trying to break the barrier, stumbling a few times and gradually achieving synchrony, to [this song].

you might notice i don’t mention flowey here. i was kind of struggling to figure out what to do with everyone else in regards to like, actual methods of character development. i had some ideas about chara bringing wrinkle-in-time flowey along with them on their adventures and him somehow getting his memories spliced with og-timeline flowey’s near the end but didn’t really think them through.

here’s a shittily-sketched old concept of what i might’ve done with him though:

not exactly my most beautiful work but it’s all you’re getting. it’s just visual notes, so i didn’t think it through much.

i daydreamed a lot about a cute ending animatic to [this song]. i don’t remember my thoughts well enough to summarise, but i hope you can come up with something cute yourselves!

aaand that’s all for this post. thanks for reading!

[fabletownhero]

Hi friends.

I haven’t been around in a while. I’ve been focusing on personal growth and some personal writing/artistic endeavors. I’ve also been giving serious consideration to returning to school to pursue my masters, but I’m grappling with if that’s even a possibility for me right now. I’m surprisingly calm about the whole thing. I’m nervous about my future, but I find pockets of comfort in day to day life and I try to do what makes me happiest: writing. I started another blog @writingdumbly and if you’d like to follow it that would be so great! I’d like to use that blog as a space to talk about things important to me. Some things are serious, like the current political climate, the recent revelations surrounding a lot of respected members of the show business community, and other global events that have an impact on all of us. But I would also like to use that space to talk more about personal interests that maybe aren’t always so grim. Like pop culture, progress of creative writing projects i’ve been working on, and humor.

I’m going to continue to use this blog now that I’ve been able to reset the password I can actually log in on my new computer. But I’ll probably be on much less. Not that I was on super frequently before. You’re all also welcome to follow me on my twitter: https://twitter.com/speakingdumbly since I am probably most accessible through that social media platform.

I love you all, tumblr has been a huge part of my life and I’ve forged a lot of friendships on this site! Please don’t be a stranger, even if I’m not as quick to respond as I use to be, I’m still here.

[happidaze]

Hello there, Tumblr.

I haven’t logged into Tumblr in nearly two years. In fact, I last posted in November 2015 when I discovered Hamilton, which is incredible to think about now. I have been so inactive that I got locked out and had to remember my AOL Mail password to reset my password and log back in. 

I logged into Tumblr today because I wanted to share the following babble. I know @taylorswift engages with fan posts here, and I wanted to share this story in the slight chance she sees it. 

I discovered Taylor's music in 2007 when I was a high school freshman. I became a big fan, following her through the next two album releases and the Fearless tour (the live marching band for YBWM is still my favorite moment at a concert ever). When I started college, I stopped following Taylor's music as much. The natural ebbs and flows of life. 

Then came 2014. The year where I experienced a devastating breakup, college graduation and two major moves that landed me in a big city all alone embarking on adulthood and my first job. That year, I rediscovered my love of Taylor's music, falling in love with Red and following the release of 1989. Red and 1989 got me through countless lonely moments over the past 3 years. They've accompanied me on long walks, were the soundtrack to my tears when I cried because I felt far away from family and friends, or when I wondered if I’d ever fall in love again (I wonder this daily, but that’s a different story). 

I fell back in love with the music and gained so much respect for Taylor the person, the 20-something adult. I discovered the image below sometime in the fall of 2014 and I remember it striking such a chord in me. From there, I followed all her social media posts, her interviews, how she interacted with fans during secret sessions and tours and how she loved her friends and family. And I began to idolize this incredible person who I wanted to emulate as I figured out my own adulthood. Some people think it’s weird to love celebrities so much when you’re an “adult,” but I don’t. 

Tomorrow I turn 25, which terrifies me. I don’t feel like an “adult” yet it sounds like such an adult age. But I'm excited to launch the second half of my 20s by following a new Taylor era. Watching Taylor address all the negativity thrown at her in the incredible way she has with #WYMMD has made me confident to address my inner hater - the voice within me that likes to say I'm not good enough, successful enough, talented enough, whatever enough at this point in my life. And I'll probably be more active on Tumblr because it's great fun in here. 

And if by any chance you are actually reading this Taylor, thank you. Thank you for what you did for 15-year-old me and what you've done for 22-to-24-year-old me. I'm so grateful for you. 

[handyarchaeologist]

♠️#//hiya Robin !

♠: How many muses do you have?

Oh geeze. Probably too many. Not as many as some people, but Robin is pretty much the latest in a nice little line that started over four years ago. Please note that I’m not counting OCs that were before tumblr. Those guys are mostly off in a random house having adventures they seldom tell me about these days. There’s like, at least eight of those? If you don’t count the super old throwaway ones from back when I was like, thirteen or so… over a decade ago. Oz.

And this got long, so the muses are under the cut. Short answer is ~twelve. Seven roleplay blogs though. Also one audio ask blog that I should probably get back to, but I’m not counting her as a muse as much as a character I’ve played in a couple small productions.

@thebeautifullytragicone

Anyway, tumblr roleplay started with Elphaba Thropp from Wicked. It was a complete accident that started with trick-or-treating one day and went to making a blog to take Loki to Oz the next. I reset her password yesterday, I believe. I downloaded the app on my phone so I could stay logged into three accounts at once. Trying to bring her back. She also got two Pokémon along her travels. Lucas and Aiden. Both are fire types.

@hearmefiddlealong

Next came a very short muse that I originally started because of a group I’m in that does audio plays. Made her a tumblr blog, but I made it at the wrong time for the wrong reasons, so it didn’t last. Her name’s Aldonza because I had recently helped out with a production of Man of la Mancha. Think D&D type bard with no sense of direction. Specialty of the fiddle. I swear, that’s the only character I’ve ever written for that made me hear music as I wrote. Was kinda nice. I’d have to reset the password for her too though, and that’s best left for when I get a new computer. Though talking about her is making me want to try her again.

@shadowchildkaito

After that was Kuroba Kaito. About time, too, as I think he had been chewing on my brain since before I got on tumblr at all. He’s one of those muses that’s based on a fanfiction, but I made sure to ask first… And then wait for months after getting a go ahead to actually make the blog because anxiety. It’s my favorite fanfiction in all the Worlds. Though he’s the muse with the most verses on the blog. Oops.

@blackwingsandcraftythings

First sideblog was a TWEWY OC. Japanese born Chinese. Name of Mǎ Cǎi Nà, though she’ll introduce herself as Nana often enough for ease of pronunciation. She’s really into making amigurumi. Both knit and crochet. She’s also dead. Look up TWEWY if you don’t get it.

@omakako

Second sideblog was an AU version of Koizumi Akako that was inspired by similar blogs. Actor AU, basically. A really sweet person playing a mean one. Yup yup.

Then Robin. You are here.

There’s also a roleplay sideblog that’s just for random stuff, that I’ll only give out to people I really like. I want that one to stay small. There are currently four characters I’ll roleplay on there, but there are a couple others I might end up putting on there as well. And one of the present muses there I’ve yet to get icons for. Whoops.

[somethingprettyndunique]

I’M BACK BITCHES

okay, so i know i am completely irrelevant, not only to the entire internet, but also to my followers on here; especially bc i disappeared for a million years. but i wanted to make this post anyway mostly for myself just to look back on the depressing black hole i went through this past year thinking my tumblr days were over (i'm so dramatic oml). it may have been almost exactly or a little over a year ago that i realized i hadn't used my tumblr in probably three months. i have a tumblr bookmark on my browser where i am ALWAYS logged in. this time, though, i was logged out. like okay fuck you but whatever i'll just log back in nbd. without consent, tumblr just decided that when i would try to log in that i had to suddenly change my password. k. so it says it sent me an email to reset my password and shit. dope. for the record, the email i use for my tumblr is SOLELY used for my tumblr and my tumblr only. needless to say, i basically never ever log into that email. i went to log into my email, and lord knows i didn't remember the password. luckily, i have a file dedicated to all my bullshit emails and passwords. i found it, went to yahoo, and signed in again. lol nope. apparently, when you don't use an email account over whatever bullshit amount of time, yahoo's entitled ass has the right to terminate your entire account without the option to revoke your email. so BASICALLY, the "reset your password" email got sent to a, now, nonexistant email, and there was no other way to log into my precious tumblr account that i had cared and nurtured for over 5 years. i nearly cried. the amount of effort that i put into trying to regain access to my tumblr was unreal. you would have thought i lost my child. i contacted both tumblr and yahoo trying to do everything to get my baby back. clearly, no one cared as much as i did bc i never recieved an answer. i was forced to do the unthinkable...... create a replacement tumblr. ;o; after years and years built up finding the perfect blogs to follow, gaining my folloeers, gaining notes on og posts (not v much tbh but i was proud let me be), and, most importantly, building up all my favorite memes that i would look back on when i was having a bad day. i have never even changed my url once since having her in 2012. this love was real. my blog had been through everything with me: my ugly, emo wannabe, awkward stage in muddle school; lonely afternoons after school in high school when i had no friends; that's honestly kinda it bc i didn't have a life really lmao. it's v sentimental okay. that's my point. but none of that mattered anymore. everything just thrown out the window like it was nothing. time to say rip and move on. i made a new tumblr and attempted to make it feel like home. i tried finding blogs that were equally funny to the ones i used to follow, but also ones pleasing enough to want to reblog onto my blog. but none of it felt the same. it was like that feeling you get when you sleep over a friend's house for the first time and you wake up in the middle of the night just staring at the ceiling hoping to fall back asleep so it can be morning so you won't have that uncomfortable, unfamiliar feeling anymore. yeah, it was like that. i felt guilty; like i was cheating on my boyfriend, just living a lie, but what else was i supposed to do when i got bored? tumblr had always been the answer. it was the only social media that didn't make me sad or jealoud when i went on it. i was forced to just keep going and hope for the best. the best never happened though. i still felt uncomfortable. i still wasn't getting the satisfaction i was used to. i was still bored. fast forward to today, 12/15/17. boredom had struck again. i went to log into my wannabe tumblr, and it did that stupid thing where i had to reset my password again. unfortunately, this one actually worked. i got in and started going through my dash. but i was thinking about my og tumblr again. i thought to myself, "fuck it" and i tried logging into my og tumblr. it did the reset your password thing again, so i had to go to yahoo and attempt logging into a terminated account yet again. slowly, it starts asking me questions to update my account. i didn't get too excited, bc i thought the universe was fucking with me yet again. but i went along with it. after i updated everything, it. said. i. had. successfully. logged. in. before celebrating, i wanted to test the tumblr email first to reset it. so, i did. and guess what? i'm here typing my lengthy, irrelevant story. i genuinely have never felt this amount of happiness i think ever in my entire life. so, what have you missed? i graduated high school, went through my first breakup, discovered my love for zucchini, went through two semesters of college, dropped out of college, made some progress on my youtube channel, procrastinated on my youtube channel, got 3 tattoos and 2 piercings, went blonde, then went brown after three months, went to my first college party, turned my favorite number (19), went on one too many tinder dates, and found a really sweetie guy that i now call my boyfriend of 4.5 months. (: so, now i'm going to give my child (tumblr) a glow up, change her url for the first time ever to match all the links i have sprinkled on the internet everywhere, and then cuddle with my really sweetie guy. if you read this entire thing, bless your little heart, bc i know this was the most irrelevant post to ever be typed in the history of everything. i love you v much for that. (':