#and then i remember the aaaabsolute humiliation and shitty behavior my ex put me through
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Things could be worse! I could still be the person who accepted shitty, abusive behavior from someone without saying anything.
#absolutely insane that that was me#absolutely insane that im no longer that person#everytime i wonder why im so so scared to date someone again#and then i remember the aaaabsolute humiliation and shitty behavior my ex put me through#and im like ok that could have something to do with it#licherally one time when we hadent been together for long she took me to a surprise party for her mother#her entire family was there it was at her aunts house#as soon as we arrived there she ditched me to hang out with her cousins - just walked away didnt say anything#huge house huge amount of land around it no idea where she was#didnt introduce me to nobody knowing i was shy and introverted and i didnt know Anyone in her family except her mother and father#i was SO uncomfortable but i introduced myself to her family complimented her aunts beautiful house sat with her granny to make acquaintanc#after like an hour and a half of that i found her she was playing football with her cousins#whole family gather around with drinks so i joined them to watch#she didnt acknowledge me at all#and i was just watching her feeling absolutely miserable and already lowkey ashamed to have her family see this but relieved to not have to#socialize for a bit and just be able to watch... and she turned arond and yelled at me like why tf are you just fucking standing there#humiliating me in front of her entire family#and i didnt day SHIIIIT#i walked away to hang out with her brother and his girlfriend and have i didn't say shit#if it happened now i would immediately dump her ass and go home wtffff#personal#praise the lord im no longer that girl but im also terrified of dating now help#she also one time took me to a house party at her friends and i didnt see her all night#i shouldve gone home after an hour but I STAYED?! wtf lmao#and then when I found her in the backyard she didn't acknowledge me and just ignored me while I sat next to her#and continued the conversation with someone else#i literally had brain damage back then i swear
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