#and then i need to trace everything into useable patterns and cut it all out

[giverofempathy]

honestly feeling horrible rn hkfkrowjedn i feel like the world is crashing down on me

[happywitch416]

Chapter 60

Serana groaned when she slid out the saddle and Elena laughed. “I did try to tell you to go home.” She got a disgusted half growl in response and continued to chuckle as she went to pass Ajax over to the stablemaster. 

“Warhorse?”

“Aye, if he wasn’t before he is now.”

He nodded. “Dark times we have.” He cleared his throat. “If the battle comes here, we’ll take the horses to Rorikstead but we won’t let them be harmed. Soon as we get word, we’ll bring them back if you don’t meet us there first.” 

“You have my thanks.” She handed him three times his price and walked away before he could argue. Serana was still stretching. “War is just a short way to say your ass gets stuck saddle shaped.”

“How are you so cheerful about it?” They headed up the path to Whiterun.

“Because.” Elena grinned. “It’s better than marching.”

“You've returned with my axe. I knew that would be his response.” Balgruuf let out a heavy sigh with a shake of his head as he took it from her. “As soon as you left, I sent word to General Tullius, who's been kind enough to lend us some of his troops and Legate Cipius here. Let Ulfric try to make it past our combined forces.” He gave a slight incline of his head before turning back to the map on the table. “I'll turn you back over to your Legion. Legate Cipius will have use for you. Gods be with us all.”

Legate Cipius stuck out his hand. “Tribune.”

“Legate now.” She shook it with a half-laugh.

He did too. “Good we need more like you. Did you see anything?” She shook her head. “Damn it. He’s hiding in the hills then.” He let out a disgruntled huff. “Get some rest while you can.”

“You there.” Balgruuf summoned one of his servants. “Show Thane Songschild and her lady to their room.” He cut off her protest with a look. “You’ve done me a service more than once. Go rest.” Elena rolled her eyes as Serana bestowed a grateful smile upon them before they followed the woman out. 

The room was simple, a chest and a wardrobe framed the single bed, and two chairs flanked a table. “Here ya are. Had to make it up quick but if you need anything, we will find it.”  She leaned back through the door frame. “Dinner's at dusk.”

“Thank you.” Elena said quietly, staring at the bed as she chewed her lip. 

Serana sank down onto it with a pleased hum. “I am so sick of the ground.” Elena laughed quietly. “Don’t say it.”

“I did tell you.” 

“Hush.”  She watched Elena remove her armor, vambraces followed by her bracer and shrugging out the shoulders of the leathers before rolling her neck, fingers rubbing a sore spot with a wince. “Looks like you need a night in a bed too.” Elena froze, blinking owlishly, armor dangling from her other hand above the chair before slamming her mouth back shut with pink cheeks. Serana sat up, watching her carefully. Elena avoided looking her way and squirming. “What’s wrong?”

Elena cleared her throat twice, but her voice still came out barely understandable. “I’ll catch a bed in the guards’ barracks.”

It was Serana’s turn to stare and Elena turned redder with every heartbeat that thudded against her ribs. “Why?” Confusion pitched her voice high. “You didn’t mind at the Embassy. Or on the road.”

Elena made a strangled noise. “It’s not that I mind I just, here we don’t have to worry about anything, and I don’t. It’s not that I don’t want. I do. Want to. I don't want you  to be uncomfortable. Or feel obligated.” She scowled a moment before finishing quietly. "Doesn't matter what I want."

“Oh.” Serana got to her feet and the closer she got to Elena, the closer Elena got to the wall, staring steadfastly at the ceiling. Serana chuckled softly when she thumped into the wall and she gently eased into Elena’s space, not missing the flash of green eyes looking down at her for half a breath. “Elena.” She said gently. 

“Hm?”

She snorted as Elena continued to stare steadfastly at the ceiling. “I am not moving until you look at me.” 

A smile turned up the corner of Elena’s mouth. “That’s a very bad threat.”

Fingers ghosted up Elena’s arm, brushing some of the escaped curls away from her face as she finally met Serana’s eyes. “I want you.” Elena nodded with a hard swallow. “The rest can wait.”

“Wait, what-?” Serana tangled her hands in Elena’s hair and kissed her like she was what she needed to live and after several beats of Elena staying frozen, she returned it with a matching fervor. Elena’s hands smoothed down her sides and then to the small of her back, any traces of doubt gone as she pulled her closer. Serana trailed kisses along her jaw and then down her neck, smiling at the sharp hiss that left Elena when she gently bit down. She kissed her way back up, catching Elena’s lips again as she went on her tiptoes. It was Elena that pulled away with a shaky laugh. “As much as I do not mind this.” She kissed her gently again. “These walls are not as thick as they look.” Serana shrugged and Elena chuckled. “Until the guard knocks the door in.”

“You sound very sure of yourself.”

The wicked grin on Elena’s face made her shiver. “On this I am.” Elena tugged her close again with a kiss like molten fire before she spoke quietly, her breath along her ear making Serana break out in goosebumps. “I am not only a follower of Kyne.” Her lips found the pulse in Serana’s neck. “And followers of Dibella take their calling very seriously.”

“Oh?” Serana’s lashes fluttered, lip catching between her teeth at Elena’s lips along her skin and her fingers trailing distracting patterns along her back and up her sides over and over, the laces of Serana’s tunic growing looser with every pass.

“Mhm.” Elena picked her up, pulling a half squeak from her lips before turning them to brace Serana against the wall, legs wrapping around Elena's waist as their lips tangled together again between heavy breaths. When Elena had kissed her way back down to Serana’s collarbone, a soft moan left her when Elena’s hands finally slid against her skin with those same maddening soft touches. 

A heavy knock sounded on the door. “Thane Songschild?”

Elena pulled away with a smirk, looking all too pleased with herself. “Aye?”

“Everything alright?” 

Serana swatted at her when she started to laugh, Elena blocking it easily with her forearm. “Aye, we are fine.” Still chuckling as the heavy footfalls moved on, she met Serana’s still heavy-lidded eyes. “Told you.” Her grin widened at the narrow-eyed glare she got and carefully leaned close again, gently kissing Serana’s nose. “The door at home is much better.”

“We still need to send them all out for the day.”

Elena gave her an arched look. “A whole day?”

Serana’s grin turned wicked. “Think you can’t do it?” A snorting laugh left Serana at the wide-eyed shock that appeared on Elena’s face for a heartbeat before she started laughing too.

Chapter 61

When Elena arrived in the makeshift war room, it was in chaos. Legate Cipius was shouting orders, while he and Jarl Blagruuf shouted at each other. A soldier stood before them, pale faced and trying desperately to be heard. “Sir, they're on the move. They'll be at the gates at any moment!" He continued babbling, barely coherent and lost in the noise.

Balgruuf started swearing and barking orders to his guards as Cipius shouted his at the Legionnaires. “The Stormcloaks are here. In force. Get down to the front line. This is it. We must hold the city. Now move it!” He reached out, grabbing Elena’s arm as she went to hurry past. “Legate, take out those damned catapults.”

She gave him a grim nod. “Consider it done.” Serana was at her side as she made her way through the throng headed for the doors of Dragonsreach.

“What are you going to do about the catapults?”

“Make them not useable.” came Elena’s unconvincing answer.

 Elena chewed on her orders and lacked any idea until she saw Lars saying goodbye to his uncles. "Hey! Lars!" 

He saluted her, fist to his chest and her heart ached. He was so young, too young. "Legate!" 

"Your da still have any fireworks?" An impish grin appeared, and he raced home, Elena hot on his heels leaving a very perplexed Serana trailing after them.

Elena joined her again at the wall arrow between her teeth a stuffed bag thrown over her shoulder. "Help?" She mumbled past the arrow, watching as the catapults began to crank back, fire already arcing. When Serana took the bag from her with a soft oof, Elena pulled a ball of yarn from it and set to wrapping a long tube to the arrow, cursing when she sliced her finger on the arrowhead as she was cutting the string. She gave Serana half a grin. "Think you can help me make a dozen more?" 

"Only a dozen?" 

Elena gasped in mock offense. "Are you saying I don’t know what I am doing? A bad shot? You are a cruel woman." Serana snorted as Elena chuckled but she set to helping her. 

When the first catapult launched its fire and death into the city, Elena grabbed what they had and stuffed them in her quiver. "Wish me luck." Serana grabbed the front of her armor and kissed her. Elena rested her forehead against hers a moment, the second shot rattling the walls. "I love you." 

Serana watched anxiously as Elena took up her position amongst the Whiterun guards. She lined up her first shot, the guards providing cover fire. The arrow fell short. Elena froze for half a moment before leaping off the wall and sprinting towards the river that ran between Whiterun and the catapults. Serana felt her heart in her throat, Elena had not gone unnoticed and several Stormcloak soldiers branched off to intercept her. But it was a Legionnaire that threw themselves between them with a shout back to her and Elena planted her feet and sent the hastily made arrows flying as several more Legionnaires joined them. 

Serana counted slowly, unsure what she was watching for. 

And then the cauldron of fire on the catapult exploded.

Elena felt every bone in her body and tried not to breathe too deeply between the ache in her ribs and the smell of burning that clung to her. A hand appeared in her vision and she looked up with a squint before letting him pull her to her feet. Hadvar pulled her into a hug, shocking her into stillness before he was slapping her on the back. “You made it? I was sure I'd find you face down in the dirt with that stunt.” He was smoke smudged but looked no worse for wear.

A huff of exhausted laughter left her with a shrug. “It worked.”

Jarl Balgruuf appeared through the gates of Whiterun and they all clambered to their feet, waiting in silence as he ascended the wall to speak to them. “Revel in your victory here today, even as the gods revel in your honor! They already sing of your valor and skill! The halls of Sovngarde are no doubt ringing with your praises!” Cheers went up among the soldiers and guards. “In defeating those Stormcloak traitors, you have proven the hollowness of their cause and the fullness of your hearts. The citizens of Whiterun are forever in your debt!” When the cheering subsided again, he grew serious. “But Ulfric will not stop here. No, he will continue to strike out against any true Nord who remains faithful to the Empire. He will continue to sow discord and chaos wherever he can. And so, we must each one of us, continue to fight this insurrection, lest our fallen brothers have died for naught! Lest our honor be lessened should we allow these bloodthirsty beasts to prowl our lands! Carry on men, my gratitude and blessings go with you!” He raised his axe skyward. “For Whiterun! For the Empire!”

The shout took up and Elena felt her skin burn before the words threw themselves from her mouth. “For Skyrim!” Hadvar took up her added cheer and the Jarl beamed with pride when they roared as one.

Balgruuf tracked her down afterward and clapped an arm to her shoulder. “Thank you for your role in all of this, Dragonborn. It would be my honor should you decide to make Whiterun your home.” She nodded wearily and he gave her a slight shake. “Come! We have celebrations to attend!” She shook her head with a laugh and pressed her fist to her heart, blinking when he returned the gesture before he left. 

 Serana found her in the garden behind the temple of Kynareth, half asleep on her knees. Ash was smudged along her cheeks, a scratch above her eyebrow, but Serana let out a sigh of relief that Elena otherwise looked no worse for wear. She gave her a soft shake. “Elena?”

“Mm?” Serana shook her again and an eye opened to give her a halfhearted glare. “I do not want to attend the festivities.”

Serana rolled her eyes and pulled her to her feet, her whole face wrinkling. “I don’t care what we do afterward, you are headed straight for that fancy bath that woman told us about.”

“Aww, don’t you want a hug first?” At the look on Serana’s face, Elena doubled over with her laughter, holding her side as pain shot through her with each breath.

A Warrior’s Heart