#and then i interrupted her to correct the miscommunication and she paused but then kept going with the same speech anyway

[exemplarybehaviour]

i think i do have to start framing my ~long walks in the woods~ as "hiking" because i told my endocrinologist that i walk 10k steps a day and she told me that wasn't enough exercise. then later in the same appointment she was like "you need to buy better shoes" (because i have healing blisters on my toes) and i was like "no i have good shoes, it's just that if you walk four miles in the woods every day, you'll get blisters sometimes even with the correct footwear" and she was stunned. she had no idea how far 10k steps is but told me it "wasn't enough" anyway???

[kstewdeux]

A tumblr exclusive

@clearwillow

Teeth are White

It started with little items appearing on her bedside table. A wildflower. A smooth rock. A leaf. A tooth. It was the tooth that had her asking questions. It had been a honest to goodness human tooth. With holes drilled into it. A human tooth with holes.

Inuyasha had merely shrugged and told her it wasn’t him but she couldn’t help but miss the slight hurt and upset in his amber eyes when she confronted him about it.

The tooth was totally from him but why the literal hell would he take the time to carve holes in a human tooth he found god knows where. And why would he give it to her?! That was absolutely disgusting!

“Demons often gift each other things like that,” Sango hummed knowingly with a small smile as they sank into the hot spring, “The bone usually has some significance. From a battle won. A comrade lost. That type of thing.”

“Well I’m not a demon and technically he...”

“He sees himself as a demon Kagome,” Sango reminded gently, “He doesn’t consider himself human. I think he’s made it very clear he doesn’t like that part of him and considers it a weakness.”

What Sango didn’t voice was that such gifts were often romantic gestures and that said gift actually won him brownie points in the slayer’s eyes. He had made his decision, declared it in so many ways, and, in her opinion, had decided correctly. It wasn’t necessarily his fault that he royally sucked at courting in the human fashion.

“We haven’t fought any humans,” Kagome pointed out, “He probably found it somewhere and was like hey this is neat. It’s like Buyo giving me a dead mouse. Thanks but no thanks.”

“Cats do that to show affection,” Sango laughed softly, “That isn’t random.”

“Doesn’t mean I like it,” Kagome huffed as she crossed her arms against her chest and Sango shrugged.

“You said there were holes in it,” the slayer added thoughtfully, “Perhaps he wanted you to wear it.”

“I’m not wearing some random dead person’s tooth,” Kagome clipped back, “That’s gross!”

“How do you know it was a stranger’s tooth?” Sango asked suddenly as something occurred to her. It had been several weeks ago but they had encountered a demon on the night of the new moon. Of course, Inuyasha had charged in without thinking when the beast made a beeline to Kagome to capture the jewel shards she carried. The very human hanyou had been blown back and careened face first into a nearby boulder. His injuries hadn’t been severe. A few bruises was all but he didn’t talk for a few days afterwards. It could very well be his tooth. His human tooth. But Sango wasn’t going to speculate.

Kagome looked skeptical but didn’t comment.

“Well I’m not missing any teeth. You’re not missing any teeth. Miroku isn’t missing any teeth,” Kagome sighed, “And either way it’s still gross.”

Sango couldn’t argue with her there.

It was the next morning that another gift randomly appeared and this time Inuyasha didn’t exactly deny it. She’d once again confronted him after the small thin braid appeared in her hand that fine morning. Made of leather of unknown origin. His eyes had seemed hopeful, like they were trying to convey something, but his mouth had called her ‘stupid’ when she asked. The ends were knotted and it was clearly meant to be worn. This would have been so much easier if he just owned up to it and explained.

Over the next week, no more gifts had come and Inuyasha’s usually gruff and hostile manner got drastically worse. Pushing them to the point of exhaustion and fighting with her more than usual. From her being too slow to her putting her hair in a ponytail to cooking his ramen to not cooking his ramen. To be honest it reminded her of a toddler not knowing what he wanted and throwing fits for no reason. No matter what she did it was wrong. Sitting him only made his behavior worse and so she tried to avoid doing it because the constant pointless battles were getting exhausting. And then, not sitting him somehow made him even worse! To her horror, he had escalated his behavior like he was almost begging her to sit him. Like the negative attention was better than no attention at all! It made absolutely no sense and all she wanted was to go home. When she tried to sneak off on Kilala that morning when she thought he was still asleep, he’d officially lost it and now...

“I have a test! I have to go back!” Kagome argued heatedly as he beat on his back when he literally threw her over his shoulder and kept walking, “Besides I missed an important day and I need to get my things before they go bad.”

“You ain’t got nothing worth getting,” Inuyasha huffed as he adjusted his hold, “And fuck your tests.”

“They might be flowers! Or food!” Kagome snapped, “And my test is important! If I miss it I fail!”

“Why do you care if there are flowers?” Inuyasha countered, “Your mom will water them and if she doesn’t the rain will do it. As for your test...”

“They’re picked flowers,” Kagome interrupted with a huff of frustration, “Obviously.”

“That’s stupid and they’re already dead. What the hell would you do with them?” Inuyasha snorted and Kagome knew saying boys might have given her some would only make this worse. As it was she could tell his mind had already made the connection if the soft building growl was any indication. She’d never get to go home now.

“That’s the point! They’re only pretty for a little bit before they wilt!” Kagome argued and he tensed and paused. The sudden change had Kagome both worried and hopeful. Was he going to let her go back?

“Why would someone give you things like that?” he asked quietly as he tightened his grip on her. His voice sounded small and this confused her.

“Humans give each other things like that to show they care,” Kagome explained exasperatedly, “On a very specific day. Which I missed because someone wouldn’t let me go home!”

“That’s what you want?” he asked quietly as he continued walking again before sniffing once and adding almost hatefully, “Well I still say that’s stupid.”

“You’re stupid!” Kagome countered and he snorted but didn’t correct her. The silence made Kagome nervous. He was so unreadable sometimes. But her cause was lost and by the end of the day, she was merely draped bonelessly over his shoulder with an annoyed expression on her face.

“We’re stopping here,” Inuyasha announced before huffing when Kagome groaned ‘finally’. Another night passed as Kagome contemplated how to get home. She could just sit him and take Kilala to get back. Sit him for being obnoxious and stubborn and all around being weird. As she crawled into her sleeping bag, she glared at him until her eyelids grew heavy and she succumbed to slumber.

Blinking up at the morning sky, she moaned and rolled into her side before sneezing when her face suddenly found itself immersed in a pile of wild flowers. Scrambling to sit up, Kagome stared incredulously down at the yellow blossoms before whipping her head towards Inuyasha. His gaze bore into her as he crouched a short distance away. A nervous energy radiated off of him and her initial lack of response had him looking hopelessly lost.

He had given her flowers. Did he realize why men gave women flowers? Was this an apology or was it something more? Her mind raced as her heart beat out of her chest. Why was he just staring at her and what was with that look?

“Why?” Kagome asked stupidly and she cringed. That had come out wrong. Sighing heavily, Inuyasha gracefully got to his feet, yanked her up and once again threw her over his shoulder. He kept walking until he got to a clearing - ignoring her demands to put her down- until he quite literally dumped her onto the forest floor.

“If you don’t want me just say so,” he hissed, “I’ve tried everything woman and all you do is get mad so be honest. Use your god damn words. Do you want me?”

Brain short circuiting, Kagome tried to rationalize what she was hearing. Had all those gifts been his way for trying to get her attention? Not in the way she would ever have believed anyway. He huffed in disgust when she didn’t reply.

“This is your fault ya know,” he snarled defensively, “You act one way but you’ve just been leading me on. So don’t blame me for thinking....for thinking...”

What was happening here? She felt like she was taking crazy pills. Was he saying....but no, that couldn’t be right.

“Hell you bring me ramen and you touch me and....I mean I get that in your time...”

The word vomit kept coming and he was floundering and Kagome swore it was the cutest thing she’d ever seen him do.

“Have you...have you been courting me?” Kagome whispered in disbelief - using words he understood so there would be no miscommunication.

“YES YOU DUMB BITCH!” he snapped as rolled his eyes and gestured at nothing, “Last time I followed you all any girl was talking about was white. That they hoped a boy would give them gifts to show how much they meant to them. You weren’t getting it so here my dumb ass comes trying to...to.... just fuck you!”

Kagome’s whole being melted and she could hardly believe this was happening.

“Why a tooth though?” she finally asked after a moment and Inuyasha rolled his eyes.

“Because they’re kinda white and I lost it protecting you! Because I cared about you!” he snapped as he blushed furiously, “A reminder I’d die for you.”

Kagome’s lips twitched upwards at his explanation.

“So the tooth was a gift to show me you cared about me,” she hummed and gave an adoring smile.

He nodded curtly and averted his eyes.

“So why didn’t you say that before?” she asked and his blush deepened.

“Not my fault you’re blind. I didn’t need to say shit. It was obvious!” he snapped before his eyes widened in horror.

“So....you gave me a tooth,” she stated more than asked with a small smile and he glared at her before averting his eyes again. Sure, it was a somewhat asinine thing to say but she was going to follow it up with the real questions.

“As a friend?” she tried to clarify and he suddenly looked utterly lost and hurt. Slowly he shook his head and stared at the ground like it offended him.

“As...as...s-someone you like more than a friend?” Kagome continued shakily and he looked even more hurt as he shrugged. A grin bloomed on her face. Was he saying...okay not that he was necessarily saying anything but....

Her heart could hardly contain her joy.

“M-maybe I want to be more than friends too,” she breathed as she waited for his response. Casting her a nervous glance, he searched her face as though trying to read her sincerity before his lips twitched upwards.

“You’re just trying to make me feel better,” he teased as he turned to face her. Kagome laughed softly and shook her head.

“You usually just glare at me and pick fights. How was I supposed to know?” she pointed out and he huffed and crinkled his nose in disgust.

“I wasn’t glaring at you!” he corrected angrily, “I was flirting, idiot! Don’t men flirt in your time?!”

Aw, he had been failing so hard. Kagome had to bite lip to keep from laughing. She’d admit his recent glares has seemed somewhat playful. Maybe. If she was being generous.

“I’m sorry but it’s not really my fault either” Kagome finally laughed, “If you’d just been more clear...”

“I. Was. Being. Clear,” Inuyasha ground out, “You’re just too stupid to figure it out.”

Kagome ignored the insult and moved closer. He suddenly looked nervous like he anticipated a sit.

“I get it now,” she whispered huskily and his eyes widened. She moved so closely they were almost touching and Inuyasha forgot how to breathe.

“To be fair, I wasn’t clear either,” she hummed as she leaned in and pressed her lips against his. With a soft whimper he responded almost viciously, reaching out with one hand and crushing her to him. The other moving to hold her head in place as he angled himself to deepen the kiss.

Finally.

NOTE: Made a few changes and cleaned it up/expanded after posting.

[broadwaycutie16]

Meet the Addams: An Adrien Addams Fanfic

Based on @awholelotofladybug ‘s awesome AU! Check it out! I do not own MLB or the AU.

They're creepy and they're kooky

Mysterious and spooky

They're all together ooky

Adrien's family!

It was a typical day at Francios Dupont College.  The students in Madame Bustier's class were gathering their belongings and supplies to begin the first lesson of the day.  Marinette Dupain-Cheng, the class representative, sat among her friends, chitchatting about trivial things.

All of the sudden, there came the sound of much squeaking and squealing coming from down the hallway that see,ed to grow louder and louder, accompanied by shrieks and screams of horror.  Before any of the class could figure out what was going on, in swept Adrien Addams, the exchange student from America, pale blonde, and wearing black from head to toe.  Under his feet was a hoard of wet, beady-eyed sewer rats, carrying him on their backs like a Greek God on a cloud.  A very creepy Greek god, on a very creepy cloud.

Almost everyone in the room cried in terror, climbing on top of their seats and desks avoid making contacts with the rats, should the vermin choose to scatter around the floor of the classroom.  Adrien stepped off the hoard of rats, as casually as stepping off the stairs.  "Merci, my little friends.  Au revoir!"  And with a wave of his hand, Adrien sent the mice scurrying back towards wherever they had come from.

Adrien noticed the strange looks from his classmates.  "What?  I couldn't get any bats to bring me in.  Daylight and all."  Alya frowned heavily.  "I know I've asked this a hundred times before, but...heck, I'll ask it again."  She turned to Marinette.  "Girl, what do you see in that guy?"  Marinette sighed dreamily, like a fangirl sighing at the image of her teen idol.  "I can't explain it, Alys.  There's just got something about him that makes me swoon."

"Cara mia!"  Adrien bounded up the steps to Marinette and took her by the hand, trailing kisses up her arm.  "I come here with wonderful news!"  Marinette smiled at yer boyfriend.  "What is it, mon cher?"  Adrien grinned.  "As ypu know, I have been an exchange student here for many months.  Sadly, that would make my time here temporary."

"Not temporary enough.", remarked a nasally, cynical voice.  It came from none other than Chloe Bourgeois, the daughter of the Mayor of Paris.  She couldn't stand Adrien Addams, and had made that clear from the day he showed up.  Everything about him, from his pale skin and dark clothes to his passion for all things dark and spooky, gave her the creeps.  She couldn't wait for him to go back to America and stop scaring her.

Adrien ignored her snide comment.  "But no need to cry, my darling!", he cooed to Marinette.  "I have spoken with my mother and father, and they tell me that instead of me returning to New York, the family shall instead join me in Paris, so that I may continue to study and mingle with all of you!"

There was a thump, and every head turned to where the noise had come from to see Chloe fallen on the floor on her side.  She looked terrified.  Her blue eyes had doubled in size, and one was twitching as she spoke, not daring to look anyone in the face.  "Your...your family is moving here?  To...To Paris?"

"Well, nothing's set in stone.", Adrien said. "They are still sort of on the fence about it. They first must find the right house before they even think moving the whole family here. Sadly, we can't find a company that can ship our beloved family home overseas. So they will only seriously consider the move if they find a house that meets our family standards. But I have high hopes."

"Oh, Adrien!  That's wonderful!", exclaimed Marinette.  "That means you'll get to stay here, right at my side."  Adrien grabbed his girlfriend, brought her to her feet, and dipped her, before locking his lips with her own.  Chloe watched the  happy couple through glaring, narrowed eyes, growling under her breath, so that no one but herself heard, "Over my dead body."

--------------

"Yes, Mousier Addams.", said Mlle. Sophie Ranchi, filing through the documents, holding the phone against her ear by her shoulders to leave her hands free to sort. "I assure you, this is the best house on the market. Every family in Paris practically bidding on it." She paused and listened on the other end. "Oh, you want to see it first? I guess I understand that. I'll send you the address and meet you there for a tour first thing tomorrow morning. But you better be quick, before someone makes another offer."

She hung up, and kept shuffling through the documents. "They seem like lovely people.", she said to her assustant, Simon, as he handed her her morning coffee. "I hope they move in. But this is the last avaible house in Paris. If they don't snatch it up, I'm not sure how they can male the move." She started to sip her mocha as Simon tapped his chin and asked innocently, "What about that house up the hill? 29-16 Blacks Row?"

Sophie spit out her coffee in shock, then looked at him with wide eyes. "That old abandoned manor that's practically caving in on itself? Goodness, Simon, no! They'll never want that house! It looks like something out of a horror movie! Its even been rumored to be haunted! Almost everyone who's lived there has claimed to hear ghosts in the walls and eerie, unusual things happen in the empty rooms!"

She sighed as she set her coffee down. "I appreciate your input, Simon, but I gave up on that house a long time ago. No one's going to want to buy it. Heck, if I even try to sell it to the Addamses, I bet it would even dissuade them from moving here altogether!" Her alarm went off. "Time for my next showcase! Be a dear and send the address of the good house to Mousier Addams! His number's on the paper there!" And with that, she left the office.

Simon did as he was told and sent the right address to the number. "And...there!" He finished his work and quickly exited the office for his break. As soon as he closed the door behind him, two young ladies, one short with red hair and big glasses, the other blonde and menacing-looking, crawled out from under the desk.

"Come on, Sabrina! Before they get back!" The redhead sighed as she watched her friend/master sit in front of Sophie's computer and start typing on the keyboard. "Chloe, are you sure we should be doing this?" "Do you want Mousier, Dark and Spooky haunting our school until we graduate?", Chloe asked sarcastically as she typed up a new message to Mr. Addams.

Oops, wrong address. I really meant 29-16 Blacks Row. I promise, once you see it, you'll know whether or not you want to move to Paris.

With a scheming grin, Chloe then deleted the conversation so the miscommunication could not be corrected. "Its done." She rushed Sabrina out of the room, but stopped a moment to bask in her premature triumph. "Have a safe trip back to America, Addams." And she shut the door behind her and booked it out of there before she was caught.

--------------

Chloe sat proudly in her desk the next day in class, secure in her victory, confident that this would be Adrien Addams's last day at Francois Dupont College. Marinette walked into class, saw the look on Chloe's face, amd recognized it instantly. "Chloe! I know that smirk! What did you do?"

Every eye in the room turned to Chloe, who smiled devlishly at her schoolmates. "I pulled a string or two...to make sure Adrien's family went to see the wrong house to buy." "Huh?", came Nino's response. "I sent them the wrong address from their realtor.", the blonde explained. "To that creepy old house up on the hill! I heard Sophie say that seeing it might make them decide not to move at all!"

Marinette gasped. "But that would mean...Adrien would have to go back to America!" "Exactly!", Chloe scoffed haughtily. "Now I don't need to worry about that little freak invading my perfect world!" Marinette looked as if she did not know whether to yell at Chloe or cry for her beloved.

Suddenly, out of nowhere, she was dipped by a pair of arms, a pair of lips pressed firmly against her own. Adrien pulled back with a wide grin. His romancing made Marinette forget her sorrows for a moment, forget that she would soon lose him forever, thanks to Chloe. "Well, someone's in a good mood."

"For good reason, my darling!", he said, pulling her back to her feet. "I come here with wonderful news! Mother and Father have found the perfect house to reside here in Paris!" Chloe jerked upright. "Wait, what?" Adrien nodded. "Yes! 29-16 Blacks Row!" Alya blinked. "The creepy old house on the hill! No one wants that house!"

"Its hideous!", cried Max. "Its horrible!", exclaimed Rose. "I heard that it's even haunted!", said Nathaniel with a shudder. Adrien faced them all with a beaming smile. "I know! Its almost as if it was made to be our home! Mother and Father adored it from first glance!" Everyone looked at Adrien like he was crazy. Then again, they all already sort of thought that.

Slowly, but surely, Marinette's lips formed a smile. "Wait...if your parents found a house, does that mean..." He faced her with a grin. "Oui, my darling! We shall remain together in Paris after all! My parents are in the principal's office right now, signing the paperwork to permanently enroll me in this school!" Marinette beamed from ear to ear. "Oh, Adrien! I'm so happy!" She boldly kissed him on the lips.

Ivan stood up. "Wait a minute...I don't wanna interrupt your moment, but let me get this straight...your parents actually liked the creepy house?" "Indeed, we did!", said someone with a thick Italian accent. Every head turned in the direction of the doorway. In stepped two people.

One was a man of short stature and roundish build. He wore a navy blue-and-white pinstriped suit, under a crisp white shirt with a red tie, with a tiny gold knife of some sort sliced through the material in the center. His black hair was parted in the center, his tiny mustache curling with his wide smile, that had something in it that sent chills up and down one's spine.

The other was a woman, tall and slender, so slender, in fact, that the outline of her skeleton could be seen poking from underneath her skin. And that skin! It was whiter than the first snow of winter. Her dress, clinging tightly to her body as if sucking on it, the neckline plummeting all the way just around her breasts, the skirt pooling around her feet, was as deadly black as her long, shiny raven tresses that flowed smoothly around her shoulders. Even her eyes and lips were as black as a starless night.

Adrien faced the two proudly, giving them firm hugs. He then faced his classmates, seemingly oblivious to their shellshocked expression. "Everyone! Meet my dear parents! Mousier and Madame Addams." Mousier Addams stepped up to Mme. Bustier with a creepy grin. The poor schoolteacher looked like she wasn't sure whether to cower or greet the man. Finally, she stuttered out, "Greetings. So...you're Adrien's father?"

"Gomez Addams, in the flesh, miss!", he confirmed, taking her by the hand shaking it with energy and enthusiasm. His voice was laced with a thick Italian accent. "I thought we could take the opportunity to meet all of Adrien's little friends!" He looked towards the second row. "Hark! What is that I see? In the pigtails? Is that the exquisite young lady who has stolen my boy's heart? Marinette!"

Marinette looked at Alya, uncertain how to react, until Madame Addams called to her, "Come on down, so we can properly meet the girl who has enchanted our dear son." Her tone was low, slow, and smooth, like she was trying to seduce everyone she spoke to. Marinette rose from her seat and walked down the steps in front of Mme. Addams, who examined her with a critical eye. Finally, she gave a firm nod and said, "You are quite an attractive young lady."

Marinette smiled, a little more at ease. "Merci becoup, Madame Addams." "Oh, darling,", said the woman, taking Marinette's hand in one of her own and giving it a gentle pat on the back with her free one. "You are dating my son. We're practically family now. No need for such formalities. Call me Morticia."

"Morticia?", piped up Juleka, giving the pale woman an odd look, glancing back and forth between her and Rose. "Your name is Morticia? Like...mortician?" "That is correct, dear." Marinette smiled. "Goodness, your...your hands are...very cold." "Super pale, black lips, cold hands...", Kim trailed off, then looked at Adrien. "Dude, is your mom dead? Like, the living dead?" Morticia smiled. "If only, child. If only."

She looked down at Marinette. "I heard you're quite smitten with my boy. He's told me all about you. Hoiw you followed him everywhere after you first met, how you kept his shedule in your own, how you plastered pictures of him all over your walls..." Marinette flushed in humiliation. "Madame, I can explain..." To her surprise, Morticia smiled at her. "Its utterly charming! Reminds me of how I acted when I first met my darling Gomez! You're a keeper!"

"Ah, yes!", exclaimed Gomez. "I remember when I first found out you were clipping off pieces of my hair to keep in a little box! How you planned to perform a voodoo ritual to make me lust after you." Morticia smiled as she went up to her husband. "Well, turns out there was no need." "Yes...", Gomez purred lovingly. "The moment I found your shrine with my toenail clippings that you had stolen from my home, I knew that you were the one for me."

"Did he say toenail clippings?", squeaked Mylene uncomfortably. Adrien nodded, seemingly unnerved by his parents' so-called "love story". Alya gaped at Gomez and Morticia, lost in each other's dark, soulless eyes, then looked back at Adrien, pointing to his mother and father. "These are your parents?" Adrien nodded again. Alya gave a deadpan look. "Well, there's that mystery solved."

"Hiya, kiddos!" In walked a tall, chubby man with a bald head and big nose, wearing a dark overcoat. His voice was squawky, like that of a parrot. "Ah! My brother, Fester!", announced Gomez. He walked over and threw an arm around his brother. "These are friends of Adrien's!" "Ooh, friends!", cried Fester. "I made some new friends in Paris, too! Look!"

He opened up his coat, and a huge murder of black ravens flew out, spreading their wings and flying towards the students, cawing and shrieking as the kids screamed in fright. One of them perched itself on top of Chloe's head, tangling it's talons in to her blond hair, and started pecking away at her forehead. "Aw, that means she likes you!", said Fester.

"That's my boy!" In walked a short, fat woman, with sickly yellow skin and mismatched eyes. The right one was a normal dark brown, while the other one was translucent, like it was blind. Her mud-brown clothes were ragged and tattered, her gray-white hair was a tangled, matted mess all around her shoulders, and her strange beaded necklace jangled around her thick neck, shining like the sweat on her long, witch-like nose.

"Mama!", cried Fester. "Everyone, meet Grandma Addams!", Gomez declared, gesturing towards his mother. "The heart and soul of our family." "Grandma,", said Morticia. "Come meet Marinette. Adrien's girlfriend." "Ah, yes!", cried Grandma, in her thick Italian accent, identical to Gomez's. "The future Mrs. Adrien Addams!" Marinette blushed deeply at that.

Grandma hobbled over to the teenage girl and looked closely at her slender figure. "Oooh, but she's awfully skinny! No good for popping out babies!" Marinette's whole face turned red. Grandma reached into her floral carpet bafg and pulled out a covered plate. "I have the cure for that." She pulled back the tinfoil to reveal a pile of golden-brown cookies. "My speciality! One for each of you!"

"Sweet!", Nino said , grabbing one and taking a big bite. Kim and Max came over and took some, too. Max had an intriqued look on his face as he sampled the flavor. "Moist, chewy cookies...hint of dark chocolate..." He crunched his teeth on something. "There's something crunchy...can't place the flavor." "Me, neither.", said Nino. "Is it nougat? Peanut?" Grandma smiled. "Oh, those must be the beetles."

All at once, the boys stopped mid-chew to stare at Grandma with wide, hollow eyes. "Beetles?" Their eyes cast downwards to the little black chunks in the cookies that they had assumed were chocolate chips. Not that they were looking more closely, they could see the little legs and spots of blood from where they had been bitten.

All three bits screamed in horror and disgust, spitting the remains of cookie out of their mouth and wiping the crumbs from their tongues. Marinette noticed Grandma holding the plate out towards her with an expectant look. As politely as she could muster, she said, "Um...no, thank you, Madame. I...don't want to spoil my appetite for supper."

"Hello." Everyone jumped as they noticed how a little girl had mysteriously appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, at front of the classroom, wearing a blank resting face. She had on a dark-colored dress and pitch-black hair arranged in twin braids draped over her shoulders. "Wednesday! My little sister!", Adrien exclaimed fondly. He noticed the strange unknown object wrapped in a white shroud that she held in her arms. "And what do you have there?"

"I found it on the curb outside the school.", she said in a creepy monotone, like one of those eerie twin girls in The Shining movie. "It was run over. Squished beyond recognition." She turned to her mother. "Can I keep it?" The class looked disturbed. "Uh...what are you gonna do with roadkill?" Wednesday turned her emotionless gaze in his direction, and Nathaniel felt a chill go through him. "Bring him back to life." Nate gulped. "I'd ask how, but something tells me I don't wanna know."

Marinette approached the little girl. "Bonjour. My name's Marinette." She touched one of Wednesday's braids, noticing how the ends had been tied into slim loops. "I like what you've done with your hair." "Thank you.", said Wednesday, monotone still in tact. "I drew inspiration for the style from the nooses they used to hang people for witchcraft in the seventeenth century." A disturbed expression flashed across Marinette's face, but she quickly replaced it with an anxious smile. "Oh...that's so...creative. Never would have thought of that. How original."

"Now, Wednesday,", tsked Morticia. "We already have a pet. Remember? Kitty?" "Oh, did you bring Kitty to Paris, Mother?", asked Adrien giddily, like a child getting a puppy for Christmas. "Indeed!", said Gomez pulling out his phone. "If you want to talk to him, I have his intercom." He dialed a number. "Kitty! Adrien's here!" Adrien took the phone from his father and put it on speaker. "How is our little sweetums?"

Seconds later, the room was filled with the sound of a wild roar, the ferocious sound echoing off the walls and sending almost everyone into shock. Everyone who wasn't an Addams looked stunned. "Was that a lion?", asked Nino. Adrien nodded. "I know that roar! He missed me! Don't worry, I'll see you soon, Kitty." As soon as he hung up the phone, there was a BOOM coming from down the hall.

Everyone went running to the source to see smoke wafting from the science laboratory. The door had been blown clean off, the wood black and burnt in most places. Seconds later, Mlle. Mendelivez staggered out if the smog, her purple hair and white lab coat singed, her face covered in ash, her glasses cracked and broken over her wide, terrified eyes.

Seconds after that, out walked a pudgy little boy, as casually as could be, wearing a red-and-white striped short and little black shorts, the space around his bellybutton exposed. He slipped his goggles over his hair, atop his short blond hair, and looked up at the science teacher with dark, devilishly-gleeful eyes with dark bags underneath. "Nice workin' with ya, lady."

"Pugsly!" The boy looked in the direction of his family. "What did your father and I say about blowing things up for fun?", asked Morticia sternly. Pugsly sighed. "Only do it at home." "Exactly!", said Gomez sharply, earning him strange and surprised looks from the others. "Sorry, Pop.", said Pugsly. "This ol' hag didn't believe I could make a grenade from some hay, carbon monoxide, and an old thermos. I had to put her in her place." Gomez looked at the principal. "We shall cover the damages." Poor Damocles was in such a state of shock, he could only nod as his mouth hung open, still gaping at the scene.

"Eeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrhhhhhhhhhh!" All heads turned to the school entrance. Students and teachers screamed in terror, scattering away like frightened chickens from the ten-foot-tall, sickly-green-skinned man stomping slowly through the doorway. He had a dead face on, bolts on his neck, and staggered with each step like a zombie. He looked , sounded and acted like he had stepped right from the pages of Mary Shelley's Frankenstein.

Before anyone could really panic, a young woman walked to his side. Unlike the last few people who had appeared, she looked completely normal. No ghostly pale skin, no scars, no bald spots, no extra limbs, nothing strange about her at all. Just an average middle-aged woman wearing glasses, her dark hair pulled back into a bun with one strand of her bangs dyed bright red. "Lurch says its time to go. We still need to enroll Wednesday and Pugsly at their respective schools."

"Oh, of course!", exclaimed Gomez, heading towards the stairs. "Family! We must be off!" Morticia kissed Adrien on the head before following her husband. "Supper is at six, my little tarantula. We're having your favorite. Black beans and brew." Alix gave her a funny look. "Uh...don't you mean beans and stew?" Morticia shook her head. "No. We're having witches' brew. We found the perfect coven to get it from, right here in France."

The entire class watched as Adrien watched goodbye to his creepy, kooky, mysterious, spooky, all-together ooky family as they slithered away like a nest of slippery snakes out the doorway of the school. Chloe frowned deeply. Her plan to send Adrien packing had backfired spectacularly. Now she would have to out up with not only him, but his insane family as well.

Marinette tried to lighten her friends' spooked moods with a nervous laugh. "Well...they seem nice. In their own way." Nino smirked. "One thing's for sure. Now that the whole Addams clan is on the scene, things are gonna be a whole lot more interestin'!"

So grab a witch's shawl on,

A broomstick you can crawl on,

Its time to pay a call on

Adrien's family!

[ladyofstardust]

This forever I keep hearing about

Word Count: 3.4k

Rating: M, like, hella

Summary: It all began with a hotdog.  Or maybe ended.  Something began and something ended with a hotdog.  Phase 3 he’d later call it.  She liked phase 3.  

Notes: Apartment-verse fic.  Set after the events of Christmas in the Goblin Kingdom.  Pika taking us all to church lately, so I gotta bring an offering for the Labyrinth gods I guess.  Alternate title: Here’s Your Fucking M Rating You Pervs.

Thunder only happens when it's raining

Players only love you when they're playing

Say women they will come and they will go

When the rain washes you clean, you'll know, you'll know

It all began with a hotdog.  Or maybe ended.  Something began and something ended with a hotdog.  Phase 3 he’d later call it.  She liked phase 3.  

The hotdog on the other hand, she fucking loved.  Hotdogs were, as far as she was concerned, the best goddamn food in the universe.  It was the middle of July and a deep thick humidity hung low on the city.  The smog, heat, and approaching rain clouds, tinted everything with a sticky greyness.  She was sitting on her fire escape in just a pair of shorts and an old ratty t-shirt.  Multi-tasking by listening to the radio, parsing through some overdue reports, and eating a hotdog because it was July, and a Friday, and that was what Sarah Williams did in July, on a Friday.  

The radio crackled and Stevie Nicks’ soulful voice turned to static.  Sarah smiled, biting her lip - he was back.  

“Took you long enough,” she glanced up to her bedroom window, where he sat perched on its ledge.  The thing was barely wide enough for the pigeons to stand on, how he was sitting shouldn’t have been possible.  But then, that was Jareth.  

“Yes well,” he smiled raising his eyebrows suggestively.  “The Undersea proved less susceptible to my charms than some people.”

“Everything okay?” she asked, choosing not to take the bait.

“Yes,” he said, hopping down gracefully.  “Just a miscommunication needing a couple extra days to sort out.  Annoying, but relatively benign.”

“Well let me know if there’s anything I can do to help, crack a few fae skulls, besiege some cities, tear down some worlds, you know - the usual,” she replied with a grin.

“Mmm yes, I’ll keep that in mind,” he said glancing at the sky.  “It will rain later.”

“Supposed to do more than that,” she swallowed the last bite of her hotdog.  “Summer storm coming through.”

“What in stars above are you eating,” he interrupted, his nose curling in distaste.

“Uh a hotdog?” Sarah said, licking the last bit of ketchup off her fingers.  

“A what?” his nose curling even further.

“Oh my god, don’t ‘a what’ me - a hotdog,” she said, climbing to her feet.  “The best food ever.  I swear Jareth, is this the part where you say you’ve never had a hotdog and now we have to go get a hotdog?  Because if you say you’ve never had a hotdog that’s what we’re gonna do.”

He stared at her with a sulking frown.  She crossed her arms and raised an eyebrow expectantly. “I think one bite of whatever that was would literally kill me,” he finally replied, sourly.  

“Come on,” she grabbed him by the hand to drag him back through her bedroom window.

There was already thunder rumbling in the distance when they got to the park.  Sarah had insisted that for his first hotdog, he needed the best hotdog.  (The ‘Top Dog’ she kept insisting to him and laughing to herself.  He didn’t understand why it was funny, she didn’t care).  So naturally they had to have Park Dogs.  

Hotdogs from the park were an even bigger summer tradition than just regular hotdogs.  Park Dogs were the kind of thing that happened every time her grandmother visited for three weeks in the summer.  When she would practice running lines with Sarah, and helped teach her how to sew.  She’d braid ribbons in her hair while Sarah ate her hotdog by the pond.  Feet dangling over the edge, her grandmother would tell her about King Arthur and his court.  She had died three months before Toby was born, but Sarah still made sure to get at least one Park Dog a year.  

“You cannot be serious,” he drawled, snapping her out of her reverie, “we’re eating food - from a cart in the woods?”

“Okay first of all,” she said rolling her eyes, “this is a park.  The woods are all the way over there.  Second of all, I’ve literally seen you drink Goblin Ale, and I think you and I both know there is no good in knowing how that stuff is even made nevermind what’s in it.”  

“That’s hardly fair,” he argued.  “Goblin Ale is a national delicacy.”

“Well so are hotdogs.  It’s like the song says - if you wanna be my lover, you gotta get with my hotdogs.”

“I don’t think that’s how it goes,” he said with a sigh.  

Sarah paid the man for two hotdogs (and if anyone dared question why she was eating two hotdogs in a row, she’d laugh and laugh, and then order another hotdog), and loaded them both up with mustard and ketchup.  

She’d brought him over to her favourite spot by the bridge and slid off her flip flops to dangle her feet in the water.  He stood there hesitantly watching her for a minute before finally deciding to get down on the ground with her.  He didn’t dip his feet in, but Sarah watched him intensely as he took a nervous first bite of a hotdog.  

“Well?” she asked as he slowly and deliberately swallowed.

“It is,” he said clearing his throat.  “Acceptable, I suppose.”

“Meh,” she shrugged.  “I’ll take it.”  

“I promise I’ll love it if you love it,” he said putting an arm around her shoulder.  

“You don’t have to love everything just because I do, I just want you to be open to trying new things.  Human things,” she said poking him in the ribs.  “Because I’m human.  I do a lot of goblin things and fae things, but human things are important to me too.”

“I thought you didn’t want me doing your human things,” he said with some surprise.

“No,” she corrected.  “I don’t want you touching my human things without asking first.  Mostly because things have a tendency to go all ‘eldritch death horror’ on me after.  Let us not forget the DVD player incident.”

“Oh stars know we could never forget that,” he said poking her this time.  “Because you will not let it go.”

“Sorry I’ve just never seen an inanimate object do that before!  I didn’t know they could do that.”

“Yes well, faulty wiring,” he said waving her off.  “What I would like to know though, is why you feel so strongly about these hotdogs?”

“Lots of reasons.  Short answer is because I think they taste good.  Long answer is because eating them reminds me of spending summers with my grandmother, who I miss,” she paused, thinking to herself.  “I suppose if we want to get super self-aware, it’s because they remind me of something I’ll never have again.”

“Your grandmother?” he said kindly.

“No, I mean yes of course, but it’s also about magic.  Everything’s about friggin’ magic these days,” she sighed.  “It reminds me of when my parents were together.  Of when I was a kid and I didn’t have to worry about filing reports on time.  My big dreams of magic and going on broadway.  I can’t carry a tune in a bucket - but all I wanted to do was be Patti Lupone.  I’ll never be that girl again.  I don’t want the same things she wanted and that’s good.  That’s part of growing up.  But sometimes I just want a damn hotdog you know?”

“I don’t know if I do,” he said with some concern.  Sarah knew him well enough by now to interpret the second unsaid part of that sentence was and where do I fit into these very human things?  She wanted to know the answer too.  

“Crap,” she said as a raindrop landed squarely on her forehead.  “I thought we could beat the storm.”

Jareth’s brow furrowed as he looked up at the quickly dampening sky, “Yes, so did I.”

“Can you magic us out of here,” she asked, trying in vain to shield her head from the rain.  

“Unfortunately no, lightning interferes with my magic.  I can’t be confident I’d get us there safely.  I usually fly in these storms.”  

“Well then I think we’ve only got one option,” she said climbing to her feet.

“Which is?”

“Run!” she cried grabbing his hand in hers and dragging him across the lawn of the park.

“Run where?” he asked, barely avoiding slipping on the grass.

“My parents house is only a couple of blocks away,” she replied as the rain started coming down harder and faster.  “They’re at Karen’s family’s cottage for the weekend so nobody’s home and I have a key.”

“Lead the way,” he yelled over the now deafening sound of thunder.

Sarah’s sneakers skidded across the grass as she reached the forest.  Quickest route home was through the woods but she knew Jareth wouldn’t like them running through all those trees in the middle of a lightning storm.  He squeezed her hand tightly and she wondered if he was resisting the urge to turn into an owl.  Sarah knew the only reason he wasn’t flying ahead was to stay with her.  She appreciated that and gave his hand a squeeze back as they hit the main road.

She thought about the last time she ran from the storm in that park.  She’d seen his owl form in but obviously hadn’t assumed ‘magical weirdo’ instead of just ���owl’.  Never had Sarah imagined that a decade and countless games of scrabble later, she’d be the one holding his hand and giving them shelter from the storm.

She ran up her parent’s front steps, both of them completely soaked through, his ridiculous hair lying damp, and limp over his eyes.  She dug the key out from her dad’s “secret hiding place” (under the mat because, welcome to Upper Nyack) and they tumbled through the entryway just barely managing to avoid slipping on Karen’s marble floor.  

“Okay that could have been timed better,” she said wringing out her hair.  “I don’t know about you but I’m soaked through.  I’m going to change - do you need clothes?”

He pulled his wet gloves off his hands and laid them over the bannister.  “A towel will suffice.”

“One towel coming right up,” she said bounding the stairs.  

She tossed Jareth down a towel from the linen closet before tossing her clothes in the dryer.  As Sarah dug through the drawers of her childhood bedroom she discovered two things.  The first, was that all of her old clothes had been donated.  The second, was that her bedroom had been taken over by a preteen boy, and her sweet girly room had been invaded with jockstraps, half eaten potato chip bags, and what Sarah really really hoped was just an old science fair project.  

She opted to touch nothing, having spent enough time around goblins to know that even they were preferable to Toby’s hygiene habits, and last week she’d found a grilled cheese in her stereo.  Luckily, she found Karen’s bathrobe hanging on her parent’s bathroom door.  She was just about to head back downstairs when she heard him knock.

“You can come in,” she called over, “I’m decent.”

“You weren’t able to find any clothes?”  

“No, surrendered to decluttering stepmothers and preteen boys, but I put them in -” she turned around and immediately stopped, caught off guard.  Jareth having apparently taken the opportunity to remove his wet clothes and instead wear the towel.  Just the towel.  “Where are your clothes,” she sighed.  

“I made a fire in the living room, they’re drying out.  Hope that’s alright,” he replied grinning.  Oh, she was going to get him for this.  Except now, neither of them were wearing pants, and this was becoming more of a problem every second.

“It’s like 95 degrees out but sure, let’s have a fire,” she said, trying not to notice each and every muscle in his chest.  Or where they met together and curved around his taut stomach.  Or how his hipbones jutted out just above the towel and how they might feel gripped in her hands.

Nope.  Everyone needed pants, right now.  

A clap of thunder outside caused her to jump a mile and she stumbled forward.  “Are you alright,” he asked, moving towards her.  

“Fine, I just - the wind blew the doors open” she gestured to the french doors rattling in the wind.  “Dad probably forgot to lock them again.” Sarah walked over to close them, a spray of cool rain hitting her face as she pulled the latch.  

“Sarah.”

She turned to find him behind her.  He always did stand too close to her, and every time she was perfectly happy to let it happen.  That teasing game they’d been playing since the first time she’d stood with him in that very window.  But she’d had enough playing.  

“What are you doing?”

“Where did you find that robe?  It doesn’t look like it fits you at all,” he purred, tugging her by the belt. “It’s much too short.”

He was right, Karen was a good four inches shorter than Sarah.  The robe was barely mid-thigh on her.  “What are you doing,” she whispered again.  

“Much too short indeed,” he said, slowly pulling at the knot apart.  “Where did you say your clothes were?”

“In the dryer,” the tie at her waist came undone and her robe came ever so slightly open.  

“What a pity.”

“You could have dried us off anytime you wanted couldn’t you?” he slid his hand around her waist closing the final inches between them.  Her chest pressed up against his, and the towel doing nothing to hide how very, very glad he was to have her there.  

“Of course,” he smirked.

“I hate you.”

“Of course,”

She took a step back, and came up against the cool glass of the door.  

“Take off that robe,” he instructed.

“What if I don’t want to,” she challenged, very aware of just how open her robe was.

“Do you not want to?”

Her eyes flitted downwards.  To his tight jutting hipbones.  Those stupid goddamn hipbones.  “Take off your towel.”

He didn’t hesitate, letting the towel drop by his feet without a second thought.  Sarah immediately understood why.  Fuck, she was so screwed.  

“Do you not want to?” he asked her again, taking a step forward.  There was nowhere else to go.  But she didn’t really want to run anymore.  

“Take off that robe.”

She slipped the robe off her shoulders.  

“Stars,” he let out a slow breath she didn’t realize he had been holding.  “I could worship every part of you, a hundred years for every inch, and it still would not be enough.”

“Worship me later,” she said, closing that final space between them.  Skin to skin, and she kissed him with the same fire and desperation she’d been saving since that first moment.  Since every kiss, and not kiss, and all those other moments.  She was tired of being restrained.  He returned her fervour gripping his hands around her back, pulling her tighter against him.  As if she could never be too close.  

Her hands raked through his hair as the taste of him, the heat of him, his mouth trailing along her neck, her collarbone, it felt like the floor disappeared from under her.  She answered each one of his kisses with her own, gripping him tightly wanting to feel every inch of him against her.  She ran her hands down his chest, she had to touch him.  To memorize the feel of him under her hands.  Every angle and hard plane, every ridge and every freckle.  

He began to nudge her towards the bed but she shook her head and pointed to the floor.  “Lie down,” she told him.  

“As my lady wishes,” he smirked, dropping to his knees.  He laid the previously dropped towel down for her.  “Your turn.”

She held his gaze as she lowered herself onto the towel.  Slowly, she crawled up towards him, and he leaned back as she inched on top of him.  Her core tightened in anticipation as she propped herself up, not quite touching him, letting him barely graze her entrance.  Sarah smiled down at him.  His desire and appreciation written plain on his face.  

“Goblin King, Goblin King,” she said each word slowly and deliberately.  “Tell me what you wish.”

“I wish for nothing,” he said hoarsely, hands twitching at his sides.  “I have everything I want right here.”

“Oh nothing?”  she said, inching slightly back, teasing.  “Nothing tra la la?”

“Cruel girl.”

“Always,” she smiled wickedly, before lowering herself onto him.  He leaned forward to claim her mouth.  Sarah savoured his groan of pleasure as her hips rolled in gentle thrusts as he pushed himself deeper.  

She could have taken her time.  Slowed down and drawn it out.  But she didn’t - couldn’t.  Her fingers clawing at his back as she pulled them closer and closer.  His kisses were hungry and unyielding.  Hands pulling at her hair and caressing her breasts.

There was...nothing else that mattered.  All of her carefully laid out plans.  Her very good reasons for avoiding this - it didn’t matter.  All she cared about was that he kept kissing her.  Kept touching her.  Kept claiming every piece of her under his mouth, his hands, himself, like she was some far off kingdom he was intent on conquering.  

“Jareth,” she moaned his name, into the crook of his neck and she felt his whole body tense.  He pulled back slightly and cupped her face between his hands.  

“What are you doing,” she barely managed to choke out, she was so close.

“Just in case,” he replied kissing her once on each temple.  “I never have this again, I want to remember.”

Beyond words, she grabbed him by the back of his head and kissed him deeply, pulling him tightly against her chest, holding him as close as she could.  Feeling every bead of cool sweat and his shuddering chest.  She rolled her hips faster and faster, as he moaned her name.  Every movement, every shared breath and second as she inched closer, until finally she took her release, crying out his name and sending him over the edge with her.  

She collapsed down on top of him as they finished.  Out of breath and panting they stayed silent like that for a few minutes.  Sarah savouring the sound and feel of his rapid heartbeat against her chest as the last drops of rain pattered against the glass doors.  

“You don’t have your pendant,” she finally said, running her hand over his bare chest.  

“It’s downstairs with the rest of my things,” he murmured.  “Are you really trying to rush me out so fast?”

“No,” she said playing with the tips of his hair as they grazed her cheek.  “I thought you needed to wear it at all times.  Isn’t it like the source of your power or something?”

He barked out a laugh of surprise.  “Where on earth did you hear that?” he asked.  

“I don’t know!”  she said, swatting him playfully.  “I just assumed I guess.”

“I am the source of my power,” he kissed the top of her head.  “The pendant is what marks me as King of the Goblins.  A symbol, nothing more.  It was either that or the crown and the crown looks ridiculous.”

“No Jareth,” she said with a playful tug on one of the strands, “I think that’s just your hair.”

They stayed like that for a few minutes longer before Jareth finally asked the inevitable question. “What now?” with none of the nervous hesitation in his voice she knew he felt.  

“Now we go home,” she told him, standing up and wrapping Karen’s forgotten robe around her.  

“We?” he said, propping himself up.  

“Yes,” she replied extending a hand towards him, which he gratefully took.  “We.  I don’t know what happens now.  But we’ve done okay so far, I think we should continue to do that.  See where it takes us.  Besides I remember a certain king promising to worship me, and I intend to hold him to his word.”

He waved a hand over himself and he was clothed again, pendant included.  “Then I suppose my next question is, which home?”

“I don’t care,” she smiled, stepping into his embrace.  He kissed her once more before wrapping his arms around her and spiriting them back to her apartment, where they continued with said worshipping.  

Karen called a week later to inquire why there was a set of Sarah’s clothes in her dryer.  It was all she could do to stutter out “rain and hot dogs,” before forcing a certain Goblin King, who was doubled over with laughter in her bed, to magic Karen’s robe back before she noticed that missing too.