#and then he's like 'the only reason you don't speed is to avoid a ticket'

[tentacle-therapissed]

SvS is great because Janus's argument is simultaneously so well crafted and also so deceptive and manipulative. Look at him go. He really fits the lawyer role to a tee

[allbark-no-bite]

past the texas line.

jake seresin x reader (wc: 2.4k)

summary: the past comes back to haunt him when Jake gets word that your ex boyfriend is back in town. he makes a trip back home to ensure it stays buried.

warnings: mentions of death and blood, swearing

author’s note: this is a little different than what I usually write, but I was feeling inspired by Zach Bryan’s “Crooked Teeth”. definitely recommend giving it a listen before reading!

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He doesn't remember it being so hot.

Jake wipes his perspiring hand off on the back of his jeans after handing a crumbled wad of bills over to the cashier. Sweat rolls down his neck and causes his cotton shirt to stick to his back as he waits for her to unstick them from each other. Her expression says she's got better things to do than count out his damp dollar bills. He wants to tell her that it's more than enough and she can keep the change, that he pocketed just enough cash for two fill-ups and a motel stay to make the drive.

He keeps his head down, hat covering his eyes when he makes it out of the store, boots treading heavy in the dust. The bell chimes out after him, as though chastising him for leaving in such a hurry. Jake doesn't glance back, afraid that if he does, door of the beat up patrol car parked permanently out front will open and the sheriff will stare at him through his dark sunglasses and say, "Don't I know you, son?"

"Where you headed, son?"

Normally in this kind of situation, Jake would lay on the proper southern manners his mama taught him, answer him with a "Yes sir, I grew up a few mile form here" and then,  "No sir, I ain't been drinkin'," and then shake his hand and leave him with a "Thank you, sir. Have a good night." But not tonight.

Jake turns his head away, green eyes squinting as though to avoid the beam of the flashlight—he purposely dips his head down so that the shadow of his hat conceals most of his face. No one comes this far out of town without a reason. By openly showing his face around here, Jake might as well hand him a wanted poster with his name on it.

The tarp in his truck bed flaps persistently in the wind. Jake inconspicuously eyes it through his dusty side view mirror. He can make out nothing but blackness underneath it.

"Camping out by the river for a night."

The sheriff's face remains stoic. He's still shining the flashlight into the truck. "The river?" he asks, sounding suspect about the answer. "Come an awful long away out of town to camp, huh son?"

"Used to go up there with my old man," Jake supplies. It's a another lie. He's only come this way once before and only ever seen the river in passing. He doesn't have to have been to know why people go through the trouble of making the trip out there—why there's nothing alive out there for miles.

Its current is strong enough to drown a man and deep enough to swallow a herd of crossing cattle under its muddy surface, never to be seen again. No one's going to bother to check for a body, not when there's an all too likely possibility of finding more than one.

The deputy sizes up Jake for another moment before seemingly deciding there's not much else he can do to harass him. The kid's license had checked out, there was nothing outstanding on his record, not even a damn speeding ticket—he wasn't surprised to find that he was enlisted in the service, his type usually was.

"Well son," he begins patronizingly. Jake fights the urge to roll his eyes. He's getting the sense that this guy is hankering for a reason to write him a citation. "I don't wanna see you back around here. Understand?"

"Yessir." This time he means it. He has no intention to come back.

Body rigid, hair standing up on the back of his neck, Jake slams the door shut on his pickup and jams the key in, twisting hard as the engine roars to life. He doesn't look back until just before the cruiser fades into the dust in his rear view mirror.

It takes him two days to get down past the Texas line. Jake knows the state like the back of his hand, it's home after all, but crossing back into no man's land causes something dark to settle into his bones. He had buried this place and it's memory a long time ago.

Of course, Jake is smarter than to think that burying something will make it cease to exist. Literally, yes, but figuratively, no. It's only a temporary fix to a problem—a problem that was now coming back to haunt him.

"Buxton's back in town."

The statement had sent him in a cold sweat from across the bar.

He pauses mid conversation, lowering his second beer of the night from his lips. The music is loud and the patrons of the Hard Deck louder, but the men aren't exactly speaking quietly either.

"You sure it was him? Thought he got into some trouble and skipped town?"

"Got into some trouble alright. Can't hardly tell what part of him to look at, he's so fucked up. Looks like someone finally laid into him."

Jake's breathing halts, and although it goes unnoticed by the people around him, his body stills.

"You think so?"

"Dunno, he won't say."

He's straining to hear the exchange between to two men, so lost in the conversation that he doesn't notice you looking at him in concern. "Jake?" Your hand ghosts up his knee to squeeze his muscular thigh.

The sight of your face, delicate brows furrowed in worry, eyes searching—always searching—reminds him to breathe. "Hmm?" he hums, rough hands tugging you into his lap to cover up his pervious distraction. You see right through him—you always do.

"You're distracted," you point out, but the resolve has left your voice now that he's holding you close, lips pressed to your temple. Jake's large hands smooth over your waist, holding you securely to his lap so that he can nuzzle into your neck.

"Distracted by you," he replies while closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath of your scent—safe is the best way he can describe it, home if you asked him to be more specific.

"Jake Michael," you warn, but make no move to stop him. Maybe if your friends had been watching you would have, but they've moved across the bar to watch Phoenix school Rooster at the pool table.

Jake just smiles warmly, relived that you have let the previous conversation drop. He's already planning a way to slip off to Texas for a few days, but for now, he sits back and indulges in the remainder of the evening knowing that you're safe in his arms.

It's strange seeing the land in the daylight. Jake remembers the way all the same. He does suppose that not much change happens to a desert in ten years.

He's been staring at the barren desert horizon through his windshield for close to two hours, watching the heat waves melt off the hood of his truck. He'd seen a mangey looking coyote trot across the road a few miles back, but for the most part there was nothing alive for miles.

Jake pulls off of the desolate road and slows his truck to a stop half a mile from the river. On the off chance that someone finds it, they'll assume it's broke down and pass it by. Stepping out of his truck, he fixes his hat on his head and starts walking.

Every step feels like deja vu.

The heat is almost unbearable, even in the evening. He had hoped by the time he made it this far, the sun would be low enough in the sky for the coolness of night to begin setting in.

San Diego was a culture shock when he was first stationed. He had been terribly homesick and had every intention to move back home eventually. That was until he met you. You and your love for the coast, and an even stronger love for your friends. The Dagger Squad was like family, and Jake came to appreciate your unwillingness to move away from them.

Jake knew he was going to marry you when he met you that first night at Hard Deck, but you didn't always see things that way. It wasn't that you didn't like Jake, really it was the exact opposite. The two of you were attached at the hip—thick as thieves—which is why you never even considered that Jake was interested in something far more than just being friends.

Jake hated your boyfriend. He hated him from the moment he met him, all thick mustache and slick, no-good, easy grin. The devil dressed in a polo and khakis. And he was right to hate him. Jake can count on two fingers the number of times he's seen you cry; both are because of your boyfriend.

The first time he calls you a bitch. Under normal circumstances, you wouldn't have even blinked at the name. Maybe you would have even laughed in his face. The insult in and of itself means nothing to you. After fighting your way into the Top Gun program, you practically brandished the name with brusque pride. This was more than just an insult.

Jake didn't catch the whole exchange, and you refused to tell him what had happened to lead up to the situation, but he knows that you hadn't wanted him to witness it in the first place.

"Hey, what's going on here?"

Your head jerks towards the sound of Jake's voice, and you abruptly step forward as to shoulder past your boyfriend, who shifts reluctantly to let you away from the wall. Your eyes are red, and while he can tell that you're trying not to let it show, your voice is shaking.

"Nothing," you say all too quickly, hardly meeting his eye as you step around both of them. Your boyfriend stands there silently, watching the exchange with a self satisfied look on his smug face, as if daring you to say anything to Jake.

Jake ignores him and instead focuses his attention on you. "Hey—[y/n]," he tries, reaching out to stop you, but you dodge his outstretched hand.

"Let it go, Jake," you order, fixing him with a look that means business; you've always been too good at taking care of yourself. And then you walk off to join the rest of your friends at the bar, rubbing away the wounded look away from your eyes as you go.

The second time is after you've broken up with him. It's actually months after you've broken up with him. You had finally come to your senses after realizing that it was causing a rift between you and your friends.

He grabbed you one night at Hard Deck, wrapped his hand around your bicep hard enough to bruise and whispered something filthy into you ear. Jake knew because of the way your eyes darkened with disgust and your lip curled. He had to fight the urge to spring to your rescue—you were a big girl and could take care of yourself. To your credit, you stood your ground, kept it together until he released you and you could turn away, tears burning in the back of your eyes.

There is no third time.

Jake's standing up from the bar before he even knows what he's doing. Doesn't really know what his intentions are as he follows your boyfriend out of the door—ex boyfriend. But his head is clear as his boots carry him out to the parking lot, crunching the gravel underfoot as he passes his pickup parked out front.

The image of your face, red and splotchy with tears flashes through his mind. He grabs a metal fencepost out of the truck bed. The parking lot is silent besides the heavy crunch on his boots on the gravel and the blood roaring in his ears.

He finds the bastard leaning drunkenly against the side of his truck, the glass of a smashed beer bottle at his feet and another in his hand. He's too buzzed to hear Jake heading towards him. Without stopping to consider his options, Jake lifts the metal rod and swings like he's up to bat and the bases are loaded.

A crack echos through the parking lot.

The fence post catches him in the jaw and sends him sprawling to the floor.

Jake doesn't remember much after that, just that there was a lot of blood—on his clothes, in the parking lot, in his truck. The rest of the night was a frantic blur of adrenaline spurred moment.

A gathered flock of buzzards caw at him with an surprising amount of gall as he approaches the river bank, flapping their black wings powerfully. They scatter only out of irritation before making a brave advance back towards their original post.

Jake takes a wide berth around them. The deeper you get into Texas, the scarier the wildlife becomes. He would rather not know what they're feeding on. He has a feeling they might start eyeing him next if he disturbs them again.

The spot he is looking for is a couple yards past. Thistles are growing up around the fence post. If he hadn't marked the spot, he probably would have walked right past it. It had been pitch black the last time, but as he stands looking over the area, it starts to come back all too clearly to him.

He remembers the sweat rolling down his body despite the chill of the night, the ache in his shoulders from digging—with no moisture to soften the ground, it was like chipping away at concrete. He doesn't remember being scared, not like when his engines failed and his parachute didn't open, just angry and fueled by adrenaline.

Jake looks over his shoulder, back at the road where his truck is parked, then back to the river. The fence post stands there, overgrown by thistles and time.

He's still not scared.

"You're back," comes the barley audible mumble as Jake crawls into bed, curling his body around yours. The bedsheets are cool and your barley clothed body is radiating warmth. After you both resettle, legs intertwined, Jake’s nose tucked into the crevice of your neck, you lapse into comfortable silence. For a moment, Jake thinks you’ve already fallen back asleep.

“Where’d you go?” comes your quite voice.

His sigh is heavy. You don’t press him.

Staring into the darkness of the bedroom, Jake considers lying to you. Isn’t that what he’s been doing all this time? He’s sure you have your assumptions. You’re too smart not to. He pulls you closer into his body, his large hand coming to rest on your heart.

“Texas.”

[themarkofoxin]

still time to delete your post. you were uninformed, that’s fine, but now you know that there is a pattern of racist behavior on dan’s end and we are right to be upset. him outright saying that he won’t tour in ‘third world countries’ like mx and brasil during a WAD show is racist. calling my home a third world country is racist. this is not in the past, you can say logistics all you want but dan outright said that he will not tour in our ‘third world countries’. it is not logistics. it is racism.

if i'm remembering correctly, dan did not "outright" say he just wouldn't tour in mexico & brasil. he made a tasteless, dismissive joke, sure, with the fans as the butt of the joke in the same way fans were the butt of the joke in many wad segments; it was insensitive and dismissive because the fans he was poking fun at weren't actually there and, obviously, have real frustrations with his behavior. but the meaning and implication of the joke was never that he actively avoided those places and would never go there--hell, they have been to brasil, to show a recorded version of ii and do a q&a. they had a mexico date for ii but it fell through, right? claiming he "outright [said] that he won't tour in 'third world countries'" is a mischaracterization as much as it would be to say "he outright said he hates phil" because he's said it in competitive gaming videos before. the key difference is he has failed to build a rapport with latam fans so it was insensitive and hurtful.

also, it is very much influenced by logistics. as much as it sucks, we absolutely cannot dismiss that. i was too sarcastic and dismissive in my additions to the post, and i've deleted those, but i stand by the original paragraph. regardless their (but especially dan's) racist comments, booking venues in countries where

1) english is not the predominant language,

2) they are not widely known,

3) once the venue learns about them they figure out they may be well past their peak in popularity and,

4) in some cases, it is relevant that they're gay and much more open about it than ii,

DOES actually make it significantly more difficult to convince a venue that it will be profitable for the venue to put on your show. most of the time, that is all venues are worried about. will people actually show up, or will these two faggots who peaked ten years ago draw in an audience of like, 20 people, and the venue will lose money when they could have booked a more profitable show? if the venue manager had to google them, are they really that popular anyways? the venue managers don't care unless they are certain they will not only break even but profit from dnp more than they would profit from literally anyone else they could book that night. why do you think they were able to do locations in asia for ii, but don't have them now (yet)? in 2018, they could reasonably argue their profitability, and even that wasn't enough in manila.

i am hoping, genuinely and from the bottom of my soul, that they will use the speed at which most of their shows sold out when the tickets went up to prove to venue managers in places other than the US and europe and commonwealth oceania that it is worth it. i hope they try very hard, and that they're able to add more dates. it certainly seems like they want to. i think it's also likely--whether it's right of them or not--that their experiences in MX & manila have led them to believe it's better to stay entirely quiet before they're absolutely sure they can announce a date and it will work, which makes it look like they're not communicating at all, but they may see it as them saving people from getting their hopes up if it doesn't work out. idk which is better, honestly. it at least seems to me like they're telegraphing that they're trying to book in other regions

[houseofem5blog]

Get Your Partner Something Exotic This Birthday or Anniversary

Is it your anniversary soon or your spouse's birthday right at the door? Well, whatever the occasion is, have you planned what you are getting for your partner? If not, you are making a big mistake, and you might have to pay for it for the next few days as well. Your wife or your husband might be expecting a present for you. So, be wise, and choose something that can help you avoid chaotic situations & emotional couple mess that might hit you hard. Why don't you get perfume gift sets for her or for him for the birthday or anniversary?

First of All! Reasons to Get a Gift: Forgetting your wife's or your husband's birthday is a big mistake, even bigger than breaking speeding laws. If you break a traffic rule, you will get a ticket or a fine. But if you forget your spouse's birthday or your anniversary, only god can save you then. Well, not only this, birthday & anniversary gifts should not be bought out of fear of your spouse, but it should be because you love them & want to show your emotions. So, buying something, whatever you like, not necessarily big & expensive, is a good gesture than walking to them bare-handed. Some Good Options for Such Occasions: Again, birthday or anniversary presents for your better half need not be expensive, big in size, or something like that. It can be anything that reflects your love, care, and respect for your spouse. For instance, getting perfume gift sets for him or for her from a popular brand can be a good idea. Will Perfume Gift Set Work? If your spouse respects your efforts, s/he will get happy with anything. A perfume set is definitely going to work until your wife/husband is too sensitive to smell. But if you know about their choices well, you can hit the tight spot. Your partner will love the fragrances you chose for them. And whenever they spritz the fragrance you bought, they will be reminded of your pretty romantic gesture that can add sweetness to your relationship. About House of EM5: Whether you need a women's or men perfume gift set, make sure to visit House of EM5 before your anniversary or spouse's birthday. This brand brings the most commendable gift sets that your partner will love. You can check out various options from House of EM5. Get more details at https://www.houseofem5.com/ Original Source: https://bit.ly/3MGiJ0U

[mcuwritin]

Oblivious

Natasha Romanoff x f!reader

words: 1090

genre: fluff

warnings: light swearing?

Masterlist

Being an avengers wasn't easy. Sure, the job has some perks, like avoiding getting a speeding ticket or seeing the newest superhero movie before it even came out.

But the cons always outweigh the pros.

For example, yesterday you came back from a mission with four broken bones, a split eyebrow and a knife in your side.

You should've started with a knife in your side, idiot. You're going to bleed out on me, you still could hear Natashas worried voice in your head, you know, when you have a serious injury, you start with that, not asking me how's my day going.

Well, maybe your priorities weren't set straight. But, to be fair, Natasha seemed a little sad when you came back, that's because Steve brought you in on a stretcher. God, Y/n, do I need to explain everything to you?

Maybe you were a bit too oblivious for a spy, but Fury never complained, so you didn't worry about that too much.

But the most important con is the lack of love life.

How can you date, when you don't even have enough time to eat, let alone meet someone, get to know them and start a relationship.

So Tony suggested you to make a tinder account.

"The restaurant is closed." Your date said, pulling you out of your head. Today it was a woman in her late 20s, green eyes, red hair, taller than you. Just like the woman you were with last friday. Maybe Sam is right, and you do have a type. But then again, none of these woman felt right.

"Huh? No, it can't be closed. I made the reservation a week ago, they should be open." But as soon you tried to come inside, a frightened waiter stepped out of the door, blocking the entrance.

"I'm sorry, but we're closed for the evening. T-the kitchen is on fire."

"Oh, I'm so sorry, did you call the fire station?" You asked, already reaching for your phone.

"Yes, they're on the way. No need to worry!" He tried to reassure you, looking behind his shoulder for a split second. Maybe checking on the kitchen fire, you thought.

Your date smiled reassuringly, her green eyes crinkling at the corners. "It's okay, we can still take this date somewhere else, like my place?"

Oh, you didn't think that far ahead. But you're a good spy for a reason, so you smiled confidently.

"Yes, I would love to." you said, waving goodbye to the waiter.

Just as you were nearing your car, a phone went off, interrupting your mostly pleasant conversation with the redhead.

"Shit, I'm sorry, it might be something important." You apologized to the woman in front of you.

She only shrugged. "It's okay, I'll wait in the car."

Checking the caller id you saw that it was your best friend calling you.

"Is something wrong, Nat?" You asked, feeling worried.

Lately she has been getting herself in a lot of trouble, which didn't even make sense, because she's a world class spy. But for the past month she's been calling you almost non stop.

Two weeks ago, when you were on a date, she called, claiming that three Hydra agents broke into her floor of the tower. You left your date in a hurry, throwing the money on the table, not saying a word, because of how worried you were.

Only when you came in ready to save her, you realized, that Hydra fell three years ago and there was no way for their agents to be in the Avengers tower.

Huh, maybe you are a bit slow these days. But she is the most important person in your life, so you're not taking any chances.

"I think I lost my favourite throwing knife and you know I can't go on a mission without it, it's my lucky charm." She answered immediately, not missing a bit. She has a mission tomorrow morning, you remembered. "I know for a fact you can find it, I could've asked you tomorrow, but I don't know if you're coming back today. So I'm playing it safe."

Of course you're coming home now. Just like you did every friday for the past month since Tony's suggestion.

Wait...

Now you're getting suspicious.

She only gets in trouble once a week, on a friday.

The moment you leave the restaurant, the club or whatever place you took your date to, she calls and asks you to come to her immediately.

First time it happened you were having a good time, your date telling jokes that actually made you laugh. And then, just as you were right in front of your car, she called you asking for some ice-cream, claiming her day was so bad she didn't even want to move. And like a good friend you are, you apologized to your date, went to the nearest convenience store and spent the night cuddling with Natasha.

"You're still with me, Y/n?"

"Sorry, yes, I'm on my way."

After dropping off your date at her place, you headed towards the tower.

Walking in the living room you noticed Natasha sitting on the couch, her favourite tv show playing in the background.

The second she saw you, she stood up, pulling you into the hug.

"I missed you." She mumbled in the crook of your neck, her hands reaching under the shirt to rest on your back. You felt yourself relax in her arms.

You wouldn't have thought anything about it this morning, but know you felt like everything started to clear out.

"Your knife is perfectly fine in your bedside drawer, right?"

"Mhm."

"And your car didn't break last friday?"

"No." She pulled away from you, her hands remaining in their place, looking down at you like your eyes hold every answer in the world.

"I'm in love with you, right?" You breathed out.

"You are. And I am in love with you. Glad you figured it out, I was running out of excuses to make you come back home." She said with a slight smirk.

"So it would be okay if I ki-" The second you lips started forming the word "kiss", you felt Natasha's soft lips pressing against your own, a soft sigh escaping your mouth.

Tangling your fingers in the hair of the nape of her neck, you pulled her even closer to you, now desperately needing her as close as possible.

"Next friday you're going on a date with me." She said, pulling away for a second.

"Yes, ma'am."

_________________________________________

Hey, it's my second one already ☺️

Let me know what you think!

Feedback is appreciated 💞

[fire-fanboy-trash]

... .... .- - - . .-. . -..

..-. .- -- .. .-.. -.-- chapter 5

I've haven't been the best mentally so I didn't write as much but enjoy! I will have a longer chapter soon!!

@meisamyth @sadcat5555 @thebluehearted @smol-bean-ashley @pma-girl @sharky-g @dead-golden @10th-no-name-person

Tw: abusive| drugs |crying sam

Sam looked in the chamber and was startled! She fell back almost falling on the floor but google caught her. In front of them was a man sitting in a leather chair. He looked up. She gripped google's arm. "It's ok he's harmless,this is eric". He strolled over starring at the tile floor. "hh h ii" "But you told what Fatality meant, I don't wanna" "Dark only named this area Fatality chamber so other egos avoid it. This is where the Vounrable egos are kept to prevent them from serious harm or injuries. The dangerous egos avoid it because once an ego goes down here they never leave. It's a safety precaution." Sam blinked. "Oh but I don't wanna be here" "Darks orders prove you can protect yourself and you can be with the other ipliers"

[ ] anytime these are around words it mean talking through mind telepathically just in case someone forgot

[Get up here ] [affirmative]*slam*"no don't go" She felt a hand on hear shoulder and screamed. "i i t's ooK" The man was toned and missing feet, with black hair and a floral shirt. She was terrified the way Google described fatality freaked her out. Bang bang bang bang bang bang. She pounded her fists into the titanium door desperate to get out. "HELP"!! Tears streamed down her cheeks. "hhow ol d are u" She began kicking the door. "Hoow olD aRee u" She jerked her head back shaking at the sight of Eric. "7". "th aT maAkes s ense" He took a step towards Sam. "I don't know you"

[ Sky͡le̶r w͘è ̴t̡al҉ked͞ ab̨o͠ut͡ this ] [I still go by dat name?] [ YE͜Ş ] [ok] [ now̨ ̛sto͠p be͡i͝ng ̧a ba͞by ҉àn͝d͘ s̀h͜o͝w ̴NO F̡EAR̴ ]

She trembled and turned around to afraid to disobey Anti. "Hi sir I Skyler" "I m e ric" "Why you talk like dat?" He gripped his handkerchief. "A nn x iety " Sam starred at him blankly.

[w͛͟ḩ̈o͒ ͫcͪ́a̓r̴e̸s͒ ̴a̕b̡̈́oút̏ ̶h̢͑i̡̔m̧ ̢̚f̄́o̾c͗u̧ͦs ̸͒on̊̕ ̈́c҉ǫn̴vͨi̓͝n̶͑cȉn̉͟g ̿̀dark̽ ҉yͩou'̉rͪ́e̷̔ ̨a̵b́ļ̒eͮ ̸t̕oͨ ̚͡p̅rͯ͏o͢t̍eͭ͞c̃t̎ ͝yỡur̎͡s̓͝ëlf! ̉S̀TÓ̡Pͤ B̧ͣEIŃG̓͘ ͑͢SU͡C͟H̍́ ͬA̵ ͦS̨͛C̀A̎R͞DY̨̐ C̀AT͘!̂!̷ͬ ̈́] [but I wanna have fun ] his eyes filled with rage, he truly forgot about the fact that she is only 7. Although Sam is Anti's biological child he is not capable of raising her.

(I hc anti is gay btw so sam was born before he figured this out, now he knows)

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Meanwhile with chase

Chase always wanted Sam every since they were born. Anti didn't especially since she is the result of a one night stand. After that he realized he was gay and despised their existence. He agreed to let chase raise Sam but them he saw it made him happy for once. He suddenly changed his mind. Not caring as chase cried. Chase had PTSD from watching his family be murdered in front of him and constantly blamed himself for it. After it had been a year since murders of Stacy and Luna and Steven the police said it was a cold case. Chase remembers watching Sam cry because the glitch screamed and hit him. He didn't like how Sam was gender fluid and literally became those genders. While chase loved them, little Sam.

Chase was feeling nauseous. He drank more and got high more. He was anxious!! "Where is Sam did anti murder them"he cried miserably. "Anti never loved them, he keeps them around for some reason." "Ooh gOshh *hiccup* the room is spinning" Thud.

Jackie walks through the door profusely sweating. Slam. "Ugh work was stressful as hell, chase are you even listening"?! Silence. He walked in the living room. Chase was passed out on the floor. Although something was different than a drunk pass out. "Holy fuck"! He rushed over swooped him up and bolted outside to the car. Chase was foaming at the mouth. He speeded to the hospital not caring if he got a ticket. Practically screaming about how his brother was passed out and had white foam coming out of his mouth. Doctors and nurses frantically rushing around."go in the waiting room sir" Jackie reluctantly goes in the waiting room. Extremely Desperate to know what happened!!Finally the doctors come out. "He is fine now he had an overdose"!! They went home! "Why didnt you tell me you took drugs!!"!! He glared at him!! "I knew you'd be upset"!! "Chase you could've died!!" "I'm sor-" "CHASE I THOUGHT YOU WERE GONNA DIE!! SCHNEEP AND MARVIN ARE DEAD, I CAN'T LOSE YOU TOO!! I CRIED IN THE WAITING ROOM!!" He stormed off filled with rage. Chase slumped"i never thought I would overdose". He face palmed and cried tell he physically couldn't. Then chugged alcohol tell he passed out! "Sam where are you? " Jackie cried himself to sleep. Jackie got depression when schneep died.

"They still don't know I caused all this. The fools trust me".He watched chase and Jackie from his many cameras. "Chase it's only gonna get worse from here"

[vertigoseokjin]

Make it Right

Sweet Pea x Reader

Requested:  Hello, i saw that you wanted to write something and i did love to send a request. I would love something with Sweet pea, where you were friends when you were kids but grew apart. One day in school something ( anything really) making them confused their feelings for each other. I hope that makes sense❤️😊 @moaandersson63

“I could make it better I could hold you tighter 그 먼 길 위에서 Oh you’re the light”

Make It Right - BTS

Toni Topaz and Y/n Y/l/n lay on different parts of Toni's bed. Things haven't been normal in Riverdale in a long while, but the best friends always find comfort in their weekly sleepovers. This week, the topic of their conversation is the dreaded Junior Prom, just like it's been for the last week.

"Toni we haven't really talked in years." You grumble. "I can't go to a dance with him." You repeat for what feels like the hundredth time.

It wasn't that you hated Sweet Pea, it was the exact opposite actually. You two were inseparable growing up, but both of you went through an awkward phase growing up where a few too many people commented on the nature of their friendship. Apparently as thirteen year olds, girls and boys couldn't be best friends like they were.

Yes, it was a very stupid reason to lose a best friend, but at this point too many years have passed to restore the closeness they shared as children.

But it's fine. Friends drift all the time, right?

"Prom is the perfect time to reconnect!" Toni gushes. "I can make you look irresistible. He'll fall for you right away!" The pink haired girl bounces in her seat.

"He doesn't need to fall for me. There's probably a reason why we're not even friends anymore." You pull the blanket over your reddening cheeks and groan in frustration. "Besides, he's definitely going with someone else."

"Who would Sweet Pea take to a dance other than you?" Toni yanks the blanket off your face, forcing you to look and listen. "You have to shoot your shot! We're gonna be seniors soon, you don't want to graduate with any regrets. You don't have to prompose, just a little 'Hey! Take me to this dance!' There's no reason he'd say no." The certainty in Toni's voice and facial expressions easily sways you, but the thought of asking your ex best friend to prom sends chills down your spine.

"Look, I'll think about it, okay?" I still don't think anything will come out of it, but I'll definitely think about it." You pause for a little to think about the circumstances. "But it wouldn't hurt to get dressed up for a night, right?" You were never one to get dressed up for a normal day at school, but the thought of putting on a pretty dress and makeup for one night didn't seem like the worst thing in the world to you.

"Of course not! I promise, it'll be fun. Even if you don't go with Sweet Pea, we could go as friends."

"You're going with Cheryl." You feel the need to remind her.

"Of course I'm going with Cheryl, but she wouldn't mind sharing for one night. Especially for you." Meeting Toni was a blessing for you. There has never been anyone that caring for you in your life, that you could remember.

Maybe Sweet Pea, but you're still convinced that chapter of your life was over.

Unable to contain your appreciation for Toni, you tackle her in a hug before both of you collapse in a fit of laughter.

The night with Toni was enough to get your mind off him, even if it was just for the night.

________________________________________________________________

The next day at school, you finally convinced yourself to buy two tickets for you and him. With shaking hands, you handed them $150 (which is a ridiculous amount of money for a school dance) and walked away with the two pieces of paper that felt as if they weighed 100 pounds each. You shake your head to clear your thoughts before making your way into the cafeteria. Spotting Fangs at your usual table, you throw your bag down and take your seat next to him.

"Toni's not coming?"

"A 'hey Fangs, how are you!' would be nice for once." He ruffles your hair to accompany his remark. "But no, she stopped by to tell us she's eating with Cheryl today. If you weren't late, you wouldn't have missed it. Where were you?" He acts with a joking accusatory tone.

"I just bought two tickets. For the dance." You say nervously to Fangs, presenting them on the lunch table to him.

"Two? Y/n, I'm flattered, but Keller already asked me."

"Not for you, idiot." You scold him. "Toni convinced me to ask Sweet Pea." Telling your plan to anyone other than Toni scares you even more, it makes the situation more real.

"Shit, seriously? Good for you y/l/n! Making moves!" He playfully shoves you, and you immediately respond with an annoyed whine followed by a punch to his arm. "You need to work on your punch." He teases again, despite his arm already throbbing in pain. "Anyway, when are you going to ask him?"

"I was thinking today? At lunch, whenever he comes. I just want to get it over with. Worst case scenario he says no, then I don't go to the dance. No biggie." You make it seem as if asking your long term crush to prom wasn't the only thing on your mind for the last week.

"And you'll be out $150 for those overpriced tickets. You don't have to worry about that though," he quickly adds, "he's going to say yes. Why wouldn-"

"Fangs, no offense, but I've been hearing this nonstop from Toni for the last week. I get it, he won't say no." Even if you can't stop telling yourself he wouldn't go to the school dance with you.

"Jeez, sorry!" Fangs apologizes, voice dripping with sarcasm. You laugh in response and rest your head on his shoulder.

"Did you and Keller get tickets yet?" You ask, wanting to quickly change the subject.

"Nah, I'll probably text him tonight to figure it out. It's not-"

"Break it up, lovebirds, we're in public." A deep voice suddenly interrupts their conversation. You jump away from Fangs in shock of the sudden appearance of another person. Slowly turning around, you make eye contact with the cause of your conflicts for the past week. The sudden eye contact causes your cheeks to burn red. You quickly move the tickets off the table on to your lap.

"We were just talking about the dance." You manage to finally choke out.

"The dance? What about it?" He seats himself across from you and Fangs, looking very disinterested in your conversation. You're ready to back out, but Fangs encouraging hand on your back gives you all the courage you need for the next five seconds.

"Are you going?" Fangs initiates the asking for you. Unfortunately, he just gets a shrug as a response while he starts pulling out his lunch.

"Sweet Pea?" He pauses rummaging through his bag to look up at you.

"Why do you look like you're going to puke?" Is all he says in response. You don't feel it, but you're sure Fangs kicked him under the table.

"Nervous, I guess." You mumble.

"For what?" Now or never.

"Would you want to go to the dance with me?" You clutch the tickets in your shaking hands as Fangs watches anxiously.

However, none of you expected him to burst out laughing.

"Are you serious y/l/n? To the dance? You and me?" He's laughing so hard that it shakes the table. "Shit I'll take you out to Pop's if you're still that hung up over me, but you and me at a school dance?"

"Dude..." Fangs says in shock, wanting to scold him.

He was right. You do feel like you're about to puke. You force out a little fake laugh before grabbing your bag.

"No, I just wanted to see your reaction." You keep laughing through your words to avoid bursting out in tears. "I forgot I had to talk to a teacher, see you guys!" You hurry away from the table and rush to the nearest bathroom. There wasn't an immediate urge to cry, but the humiliation of ever facing Sweet Pea or even Fangs again brings up the urge to puke again.

You kind of expected him to say no, so this shouldn't be so shocking.

After taking a few deep breaths to collect yourself, you step out of the bathroom, almost crashing into Fangs.

"Y/n! Are you okay? Do you want me to get Toni?"

"Fangs, don't worry about it." The emotionless expression of your face kind of scares him. "Like I said, no biggie, right?" The bell ringing interrupts your conversation. "I'll see you later Fangs, but seriously, everything's good. Thanks for being there for me." You hurry away from him, wanting a place to just put your head down for a little.

The rest of the day goes by quickly, so you rush to leave Riverdale High before you're forced to interact with anyone. You hop on your motorcycle and speed home as fast as you can.

You collapse on your bed as soon as you enter your home, wanting to sleep the day away, before you remember the mountain of homework you still have.

A furious groan leaves you before you empty the contents of your bag on your desk, and get started.

________________________________________________________________

Nearing eight at night, a loud banging outside your door forces your attention away from your assignments. You peek out the window to make sure whoever is outside is safe, and all you see is Sweet Pea, almost looking like a child who was just scolded.

You sigh deeply, preparing yourself for this conversation, before opening the door.

"Hey, y/l/n. Can we talk?" He stands nervously outside your door, hands deep in his pocket.

"What about?" You're leaning against the door frame, not wanting to let him in.

"...about what happened?"

"Nothing happened, Pea. Don't worry about it. Was that all?" He spends a few seconds just staring at you. "Sweet Pea, I have some homework to finish up. If you have nothing else to say then-"

"No I do! Just listen! About the dance, Fangs said you already bought tickets? For both of us?" He asks, a little scared of your response.

"Yeah, I did. It doesn't really matter. I gave them to Keller." Sweet Pea isn't used to you talking this coldly to him. Yes, you haven't been the closest friends for a while, and you do naturally have a icy tone of voice, but you've never necessarily sounded bored while talking to him.

"Is he paying you back?"

"Sweet Pea, I really don't care. It doesn't matter. If you're here because Toni or Fangs forced you too or you just feel bad, really don't worry about it. I'm over it." Another awkward silence washes over them as he isn't too sure how to respond at this point.

"Can I explain myself? Just give me five minutes-"

"You don't have to explain yourself. You don't need to go to a stupid dance with me. You know I don't even like dances, I just wanted to try something new." He notices your tone softened a little, but he still feels the need to explain.

"Y/n, I didn't say no because I don't like you."

"You didn't say no. You laughed in my face for three minutes till Fangs told you to cut it out."

"Right, that. But I didn't do that because I don't like you!" It's your turn to be at a loss for words. "Look, y/n, you know I'm not good at feelings or talking, but I'm really sorry. Even if we drifted for the last couple years, you've always been my closest friend. I never stopped caring about you." He steps closer to you, making you put your head down to avoid looking at him. "I'm sorry for laughing. Asking me to a dance took a lot of balls."

He stops to take your face in his hands, forcing eye contact, "I didn't laugh because going to a dance with you was unappealing. I said no because dances are unappealing. I thought we both thought that. And if you still want to go, hell I have no problem buying us tickets and renting a suit I know I'm only going to wear for the night, I'll even buy those stupid flowers, I'll do all that shit for you. But, we don't need a dance." The look of confusion on your face urges him to continue. "I mean, we can do all that shit without an occasion. Even if you just want to dress up and go to Pop's, I'm down." Tears brim your eyes, but you're not too sure why. "Was it something I said? Why're you crying, dummy." His teasing just feels so normal. You go to wipe them away, but he beats you to it. "Are you going to say something or am I going to stand outside looking like an-"

In a short burst of courage, you cut him off with a kiss. He steps back in shock, but doesn't take too long to respond. He fully wraps his arms around you, and it feels safe. You both walk backwards, lips never disconnecting. Sweet Pea roughly kicks the door shut before you two collapse on the couch. He leans on his elbows on top of you and he can't stop the stupid smile that spreads across his face from staring at you.

"Does this mean I'm forgiven?" He jokingly asks.

"Maybe." You tease back, pressing another kiss to his lips. "Take me out to Pop's then we'll see."

"I can do that." He smartly responds. Sweet Pea rolls off you, but still keeps his arms wrapped around you.

"And you were right."

"I'm always right, but what specifically?" You lightly punch him on the shoulder before laughing at his response.

"We don't need a dance." He stares at you lovingly before pulling you even closer. "I think we still have a lot to talk about," you pause for a second to see if he'll object, which he doesn't, "but I'm happy like this."

"Me too." He responds sweetly.

You spent the night catching up on the last four years of your lives, wrapped up in each others arms, with stupid jokes and sweet kisses.

Neither of you needed a dance to feel the love that night.

[ambrosia-ghostie]

when is your birthday? february 13 what is your favorite color? it's funny, i just told my mom yesterday - it was always light blue, but now it's evolved to light purple what’s your lucky number? 12 do you have any pets? i live at home right now so i suppose i have our family dog, charlie - a very excitable goldendoodle how tall are you? 5'4

how many pairs of shoes do you own? i have many old pairs just there in my closet, but i would say i actively wear about 5 pairs

favorite song? yikes, one? it changes - as i'm sure it does with most people. for some reason i've been obsessed with "suddenly seymour" from little shop of horrors the last few days so let's go with that haha

favorite movie? zodiac. david fincher, always.

what would be your ideal partner? someone who is either asexual/demisexual (i'm still figuring that out which for myself), someone i find handsome or pretty (not necessarily conventionally - but hygienic, well-groomed, a face i enjoy looking at... i feel like i sound petty, but basically just someone i find cute on a personal level), someone who is more of an extrovert than i am and challenges me to be adventurous, someone i have at least a few things in common with (theatre, film, sims), and - importantly - someone who makes me laugh a lot

do you want children? i do, but i don't. i love kids, but part of me knows that i may not be capable of being responsible for a child's life when i am living with multiple disorders

have you gotten in trouble with the law? nah - unless you count a few speeding and traffic tickets, but long island is one giant speed trap

what color socks are you wearing? none! i don't like wearing socks in bed

bath or shower? shower, for sure. i love good pressure, i can control the temperature better than a bath, and i feel less self-conscious. by that i mean that i'm in a less vulnerable position when i'm standing up as opposed to laying down. it usually makes me feel claustrophobic and i don't love looking down at myself. a jacuzzi sized tub would probably be really lovely though!

favorite type of music? musical theatre - i love songs that tell stories and that's what musical theatre does (or should do if it's well-written)

how many pillows do you sleep with? two.

which position do you sleep in? i do this weird thing where i turn a couple of different ways on my side before i get comfortable leaning partially on my side to the right (where my wall is) lol

what don’t you like when you’re sleeping? being woken up by my dog scratching at my door. due to the medication i take, i have to take a few additional meds and supplements to fall and stay asleep. so when he scratches just to get my attention and walk away it's really frustrating and hard for me to fall back asleep. i still love him to pieces though.

what do you have for breakfast? i usually have a thomas everything bagel with temptee cream cheese. it's the only cream cheese i'll eat and it makes any bagel taste good - i swear! my jewish grandmother from brooklyn trained me well haha

have you ever tried archery? i did once on a first date! it was a nice way to get to know someone. i was actually pretty good to my surprise

favorite fruit? pineapple

favorite swear word? fuck - it's so versatile!

do you have any scars? i have a scar on my left breast from when i had a cyst removed when i was 16. i checked myself like they told us to do in health class and i actually had a lump. it was benign, thankfully

are you a good liar? i'm a very good liar, yes. i don't know if it's because i'm a performer, but i've become alarmingly good at it. i really want to stop doing it though. typically i only lie to avoid confrontation or when i don't want to tell someone my mental health is not great

what’s your personality type? i forgot so i honestly just took a test and apparently i'm an infp-t. the mediator. based on the description, it's remarkably accurate.

what’s your favorite type of girl? a loyal friend, honest when honesty is needed the most, makes time for their loved ones

left or right handed? lefty!

favorite food? i really love thai drunken noodles - i just had them last night and it's definitely my comfort food dish

are you clean or messy? i like to think of my habitat as organized chaos haha. i have some clutter, but i keep my space clean. i think i just have too much stuff!

favorite foreign food? i love good chinese food - thankfully i have a lot of options in new york. however, i also love mall food court chinese food once in a blue moon. it's its own thing in my opinion haha

how long does it take for you to get ready? it depends where i'm going. i could get ready right now in 10 minutes to go to the drug store and not care what i look like, but if i'm seeing friends or going to an event i usually take an hour or two to shower, blow out my hair, put on makeup, get dressed (and possibly change outfits a few times)

most used phrase? "no problem" - but usually there are problems lol

are you a good singer? i would never "make it" on broadway, but i am a skilled singer. training has helped tremendously and the right technique can make such a difference. i had the amazing opportunity this year to challenge myself when i was cast in a production of "titanic" the musical (not based on the movie! ahh) and it was so great to go back to my roots singing classically since the musical is more of an operetta than traditional musical theatre. so, in short, yes - i am haha

do you sing to yourself? i used to all the time when i had my own apartment, but now that i'm living at home again i feel a little self-conscious so i save it for the car. i don't know why i can sing in front of hundreds of people and be fine while the idea of my dad or brother catching me singing terrifies me, but i guess being weird comes with the territory of being a creative-type

biggest fear? my parents dying

do you like long or short hair? on myself? i grew out my hair over the last two years and i really love it. however, i reaally need a trim to get rid of the dead ends. but i've enjoyed having shorter hair too - especially in the summer months

are you into gossips? i work for a theater and i'm deeply involved in my local theatre community so gossip is inherently part of my day-to-day life. however, i've learned the hard way that it's always best to not get involved, be kind, and try and remain respectful for people who are unkind

extrovert or introvert? i can adapt depending on situations. if i know i need to buck up and put on a face for the sake of mediating a problem or something i can definitely conjure up "extroverted jaime," but i definitely am an introvert by default

favorite school subject? i loved english. i would write witty titles for all my essays and sometimes even include a graphic for the cover page... which probably explains why i'm a social media content creator now

what makes you nervous? i've realized the root of my anxiety is when i am dealing with the unknown - whether it be the outcome of a heated meeting at work, if my doctor's office will actually get my prescription to the pharmacy in time, or anything that leaves me waiting for an answer. i want immediate resolutions and i know that's not realistic

who was your first real crush? a guy at theatre camp who ended up being gay... and an awful person

how many piercings do you have? just my ears. i had a nose stud, but i took it out for a show years ago and it closed up because i lost it. i'd like to get one again in the future, but it depends on the office environment of my next full-time job... which i am currently looking for

how fast can you run? "no." - the person who filled this out expressed my answer perfectly.

what makes you angry? life treating bad people well

do you like your own name? i do, but i wish people would spell it correctly because that causes all sorts of issues. people assume i'm "jamie" when i'm "jaime" --- this season of the umbrella academy really turned me on to the "jayme" spelling though. or maybe i'd like "jaymee" --- i'm too lazy to ever change it, but i'm tired and i barely know what i'm typing at this point. i do not recommend pulling all-nighters for absolutely no reason

what are your weaknesses? i care too much about what people think about me. i have trouble staying productive and focused on work unless it's something that comes easy to me like creating graphics and writing copy. i'm overly sensitive to mental and physical stimuli (which can be good because i'm very empathetic and creative) and i can lose control at times

what are your strengths? i'm empathetic, creative, and passionate. i have a really good support system in my family and close friends. and, oddly enough, my sensitivity. i wrote that it can be a weakness, but it's the reason why i'm so emotionally moved by theatre, music, and films. it's the reason why i can find a deeper meaning in texts and in life in general

what is the color of your bedspread? it's dark grey, but i just ordered a mint one that will be good for days when it's not quite hot enough to turn on my air conditioner

color of your room? (faded) light blue. i want to have it painted lavender soon

[babaleshy]

Something I May Need to Stop Doing...

I'll be venting in this post, but this is about the desire to move out of a desperate want for change right now even though such a move is not meant to be.

On occasion, I go onto zillow's website and check out houses around Pittsburgh out of curiosity just to see what houses are going for what price in what kind of condition. I've noticed something incredibly enticing: there are some houses going for under $100,000 and are technically livable. It's just got flaking/chipping paint, may need new rugs, and other general clean-ups. The only "major" thing I wanna do to any of these houses falling under this criteria is the fact that I feel more comfortable with a tin roof.

These houses that I find are within city limits, most of these houses I've shown an interest in are close to sidewalks. This means if I were to move into one of these houses, then I'd have a chance to properly commute!

Ah, but why exactly am I making this post? What is it that I'm venting about? And what did I mean earlier when I said "not meant to be?"

Back in 2014 (autumn, specifically), my husband and I had to move out of our apartment in downtown Pittsburgh to my parents' farm in Ohio. Two reasons made us do this: one was the skyrocketing rent prices when HUD sold our building, causing rent to go from $539/mo to $720/mo. My husband worked at a casino, and was making $10/hr, so when rent prices went up like mad, we really began to struggle to survive. The other thing was bedbugs. The building manager laughed at our discomfort and said, "What do you expect me to do about it? Where would everyone go for the building to be treated?" Like, you're a shit manager if you haven't come up with those contingency plans.

Paying $720/mo for a bedbug-infested apartment (bedbugs are fucking hard to get rid of) and living in a constant state of itchy breakout made us decide it was time to move in with my parents. Because we literally could not afford to live anywhere else, and our student loan debt fucked up our credit scores, so we couldn't even get a house (and we were looking for one at the time!).

We used to think living on this farm was temporary until reality set in, that there is absolutely no possible way for us to make it on our own now. My husband has ADHD and anxiety and is still struggling to practice to get his driver's license (it's hard when my dad is a major source of my husband's stress; my dad's an asshole and gets worse by the year), and I'm Autistic, so I can't hold down a regular job, and nothing else is hiring.

In terms of getting a job for me at all, either I'd have to go to school for my special interest for the job (ecology, entomology, and/or paleontology) or I'd rather work in a library.

Welp, college is far too expensive for me to pay out of pocket, and my already existing student loan debt is barring me from getting any sort of financial aid to go back to school at all. As far as the library is concerned? Remember when I said my husband is currently struggling to practice for his license? (He doesn't get much practice because my dad is a stressful asshole that makes my husband have a horrible headache and anxiety after he drives). We have 2 vehicles, one my mom uses to get to work, and the other my dad uses to take my husband to work as well as do errands in like grocery shopping and shit like that.

I can't get a ride.

Can't ride a bicycle, either. It's definitely not safe (I live in America, if you couldn't tell). My parents' farm is deep within one of the back roads with one of the properties on this road being an oil rig. The oil workers drive like assholes, not caring what animal they hit, speeding through here. There are dirtbikes and four-wheelers that speed through here, too. There's no room for 2 vehicles to pass one another, and nothing but pure fucking hill the moment you step off the side of the road. I literally cannot bike here.

But let's pretend I got onto one of the main roads on either end of our road. It's even worse! And STILL no room for bicyclists! This goes for fucking miles until you reach a residential area! Except for a nearby little village-town that has the closest library branch. It's the village my husband grew up in, but there's a lot of sketchy turns, corners, and again, no room for bicycles. This includes main roads.

With all this in mind, I actually considered the possibility of moving to that village, because the village itself is actually safe enough to bike ride in. The problem is: I'm not guaranteed to get a job at the library at all. I tried getting a job as a library clerk at the Carnegie Library in Pittsburgh, got interviewed and everything, and didn't get the job for whatever reason. In fact, I'm not guaranteed a job at all at any library branch, regardless of the neighborhood. So moving to such an area depending on the chance of being hired there is not worth it.

Such a village is actually rather unfriendly, and that goes for a lot of communities here on this side of Ohio. You'd think this was one of the southern states from its people and what flags they fly.

So why not Pittsburgh? Why not move there if we could?

Well, I thought about it. It has all the perks I could expect such as public transportation, somewhat safer bicycling areas to commute to school and work, and more importantly: THINGS TO DO.

Living in the middle of nowhere blows when you want to, on your own without relying on someone to drive you, go and do something, such as buying fabric or art supplies for future projects, or going to the library, or anything, really! Yeah, I do want to garden, but I don't have the means to do that on a damn farm (long, frustrating story that made me stop believing my parents' promises).

Not to mention, I still have friends in Pittsburgh, If I wanna see them, they don't have to drive an hour and 45 minutes (and that's if they have a car) to visit. I got 2 friends here in the area, and they're busy with their work's demanding schedules. When we do hang out, Cards Against Humanity, Uno, and D&D can only do so much until it gets old and boring and you wanna do something else that isn't hanging out at a dead mall. There is truly nothing to do here. Pittsburgh has the museums, libraries, parks, and far more interesting establishments to lurk in.

So again: why not Pittsburgh?

Because that city has changed and is still changing compared to when I was last there. My regular watering hole (The Beehive) is no more. There are neighborhoods being gentrified (meaning I'm not guaranteed to keep my home even if I pay it off). Businesses are closing, meaning people will be losing their jobs, and some of the other places hiring (like libraries) are not guaranteed to hire me, especially when I haven't had a job since 2010.

There's also my cat to consider; she gets stressed at the sound of a lawn-mower (I don't blame her). She wouldn't be able to handle the sounds of the city. Unless we found a place not too close to downtown, such a move is a no-go.

I've daydreamed about living in Pittsburgh again. I'm homesick for Pittsburgh. I've realized only recently that that city was my home. Not this farm, not even the house I grew up in. I felt like a person who didn't have to rely on people for rides and such. It's the only place where I've truly lived on my own and enjoyed it.

I've actually considered moving out of this country and found that even more impossible. No matter which country you pick, no matter what language you learn, not only do you have to pay for your things to be shipped, for your plane ticket for a one-way trip, or whatever you need to become a citizen there, you still have to pay at least $2,000 to revoke your American citizenship or else you will be forced to pay American taxes despite never setting foot on American soil ever again.

Thanks to capitalism, America has made it fucking impossible for the average person to leave for good. If you are born here, you are financially enslaved here unless you're wealthy enough to leave.

So... What's the plan?

Well, for now: not much. The pandemic has set plans back a bit, but my parents have a lien on the house thanks to my private student loans my mom was bullied and forced into co-signing for. She... I guess?... is almost done paying them off? I don't know. My parents don't like communicating need-to-know info with me and then get mad when I don't absorb it through osmosis. Once the lien is taken off the house, mom wants to move north to be near her sister, and she said she'll try finding a farm for sale near Kent State so it'll be an easier commute (be it by bicycle or by car). My intention is to enroll there to be able to get a job as an ecologist (focus in entomology, specializing in arachnology) with a minor in paleontology.

Once I've gotten that all taken care of (as well as my husband going back to school for what he wants), we move to the pacific northwest, mainly just north of Seattle somewhere.

I hate Ohio. I hate running into people I've gone to school with that I try to avoid (more like I see them, but they don't recognize me? At least I hope not?). I hate this place so much. I hate this climate, being near people I don't want just randomly showing the fuck up. And what's the use of living near family when they don't want to bother visiting you? I hate hearing my mom tell me so-and-so that I obviously want nothing to do with told her to tell me they said hi. I'm tired of fearing I'll run into someone that abused me in the past because now they're back in the fucking area again apparently.

I've got my fingers crossed that something is gonna give and college to some level (community college?) will be free for residents or something. It'll give me a chance to go back to school for something close to what I wanna do so I can maybe get a job? Completing something at a community college would at least make it easier for me to get enrolled at a university.

My husband and I picked Seattle (or close to Seattle) for its climate. It's (usually) not blistering hot every goddamn year, and it's not horribly cold thanks to the mountain range (I'm quite cold-intolerant). We both enjoy overcast weather and rain. We'd rather take our chances with volcanoes than earthquakes or hurricanes in areas where these things are guaranteed to happen yet nobody ruling these areas wants to invest in infrastructure that helps stand a chance against them. Seattle also has a nice combination of city and wilderness side-by-side. Not much of that with Pittsburgh.

If I was forced to only move to Pittsburgh and no other city, I wouldn't mind, especially since I'm more familiar with Pittsburgh than I am with anything in my current local area (because I had to travel on foot instead of relying on a car to get to places!). Fuck, my mom wouldn't even let me do anything by myself out of the yard when we lived in the village I grew up in because she was a paranoid fuck and by the time I JUST STARTED gaining independence for having a bike and bicycling to the post office everyday, we moved to this farm.

Oh, this isn't a roof over my head I should be thankful for. My parents got screwed. Our water is full of iron and calcium that no filter can fix, so we constantly have plumbing problems, the post and internet connections are questionable at best, we get ant infestations from 2 species EVERY YEAR, all for a farm my mom wanted for horses she always wanted and eventually got but has little next to no energy to spend the time she wants with them and she refuses to admit her age has a lot to do with it on top of her working so she sits in the living room on THREE DIFFERENT DEVICES sucking up bandwidth to religiously watch every fucking livestream of a country singer she likes (and complains if she's missing it for any reason!), scroll through Facebook, and play a fucking shitty app game!

Our internet out here? The physical equipment is outdated (copper wires instead of fiber-optic cables) because the fucking company doesn't wanna spend the money to upgrade it.

So instead, we're stuck here, with my husband losing his sanity bit by bit by the day at his shitty retail job (every other available job offering would be worse in this area) and I sit here and hope that maybe, JUST MAYBE, I could start gardening soon.

I miss Pittsburgh. I really do. But despite all of its benefits it would give me and my husband if we moved back, I don't think it will happen.

In the off-chance that we don't move north, that my dad's assholery intensifies and he decides to remain here (he has to legally agree to sell this house in order for my mom to move north; dad's reasons keep fucking changing), Pittsburgh is a nice back-up plan. Pitt University actually has the major I'd want to go back to school for, as well as what my husband wants to go back to school for, and we'd already be familiar with the city and what to expect of it. However, we're aiming higher, and hoping to move to the pacific northwest, instead.

But I think to avoid losing my sanity, I should stop daydreaming about a future that may never be.

Fingers crossed!