#and then he called buck cowboy and was gearing up to tell him about everything

[darlingboydiaz]

do y'all ever think that eddie might have figured out how important buck is to him when he got shot, since he was reaching out to buck. and do y'all ever think he spent the next months trying to figure out how to get better and do better by chris and buck. and do y'all ever think he reached a point where he was finally gonna tell buck, but then buck got struck by lightning and eddie had to let that chance pass.

because i keep thinking about it.

[lancearcherinrippedjeans]

Cowboy Dad Sh*t

For previous parts click HERE

Pairings - Adam Page x OFC, Marq Quen x OFC x Cash Wheeler, Matt Jackson x OFC, SLIGHT Alex Reynolds x OC

Categories - Fluff, angst, comedy, and for the first time SMUT

Warnings/Promises - Cheating, cussing, pregnancy. *FOR SMUT* Oral (male receiving)

Word Count - 3,614

Summary/Desc - What started off as the ICB joking around; led to a big deal, Parker flirts with Alex Reynolds on BTE Adriana gets signed to AEW, Parker and Gabby fight, Bri continues with her selfish ways, a lot goes on in one week.

Thank you to my co-writers @westanaew and (I THINK THIS IS HER @ ) @adriii-omega​ (Especially Adri, our new writer and OFC, for writing the smut for this chapter)

Tagging @kploveswrestling​ and @neversatisfiedgirlfics​

“Where are they with the damn tests?” Bri groaned, flopping back onto the bed. Adriana, their best friend who was new to the AEW roster, shrugged, “Maybe Gabby is arguing with the cashier.”

Right after that sentence, Gabby and Parker walked through the door, bickering.

“This is your THIRD pint of ice cream this past 24 hours, Parker! Get over the breakup and go get some dick or somethin’.” “Oh I’m sorry did you break up with Adam when you’re absolutely in love with him? No,” She yelled, snatching Ben and Jerry’s ‘Love Is..’ from one of the bags, “So let me deal with it how I want!”

“It’s been like 3 weeks and all you’ve done is eat pints of ice cream.” “You didn’t wanna stop at Baskin Robbins!” They had started full blown yelling when Bri pushed them apart, “Can we just do this? Take some pregnancy tests as some jokes now?” Parker had rolled her eyes, taking the tests out of the bag, two for each of them.

“So who wanna volunteer?” Adrianna asked. “Nose goes!” Everyone had done it in time except the one person who asked, Adri. She sighed and took the tests to the bathroom, Gabby, Bri and Parker sitting in the room, waiting. “What if one of the tests comes back positive?” Bri asked. “Then it’ll probably be me or yours.” Gabby laughed. “Yeah yeah, make fun of me all you want but at least I would know who the dad is.” Parker mumbled, glaring at Bri.

“What?” Gabby asked. “Oh nothing, Parker just being a psychopath.” Bri said through her teeth, mad that Parker almost told Gabby that she had been cheating. A moment later Adri came out of the bathroom, tests in hand. “Now we wait.” One by one they had all taken their tests, Bri, Parker and Gabby being the last one. They had all waited till all of them said pregnant or not.

“We all know it’s not gonna be Parker.” Bri laughed, Parker looked up, ice cream in her mouth, “Shut. Your. Face.”

It was time for them to all see, this wasn’t for anything serious, they had just wanted to have some fun.

“1.”

“2.”

“3.” They all said in unison. Adriana, Brianna and Parker laughed, knowing that it would for sure say negative. They had all looked over at Gabby who had a confused expression. “Gab-E?” Parker asked, concerned, “What happened.”

“Are you sure we got the most promising ones?” A tear ran down her face.

Immediately Parker snatched the test out of Gabby's hand. “Holy shit!” Adriana yelled out. “What the hell?!” Bri let out. “You fucking dumbass!” Parker screamed. The test was positive, Gabby was pregnant. Gabby couldn’t do anything but cry, her and Adam had sex without condoms or birth control, but she didn’t expect a baby out of it. “It’s gonna be ok.” Adriana said in a soft voice before hugging Gabby. “What do I tell Adam? That I’m just pregnant?” She built up words to say. “No shit, what else do you say?” Parker took in a spoon full of her ice cream. 

“I think everything will be ok Gab.” “Just stay calm.” Bri and Adriana tried to comfort Gabby while Parker was in the corner still sad about her break up. “Ok I have to tell him, so quiet down.” Gabby really didn’t want to, but she didn’t wanna hide it either. She pulled out the phone and dialed the number of her boyfriend.

“Adam?” “Hi babe!” Gabby heard Adam on the other side of the phone, which made her heart smile. “Where are you?” “Right now I’m with Matt and Brandon what’s wrong?” “I have to tell you something.” Tears began to flow down Gabby’s face. “I’m….pregnant.” “No fucking way!” Adams face brightened. “Yes fucking way.” “Babe I can’t wait!” To Gabby’s surprise the cowboy was excited. “I love you so damn much boy. I’ll see you in a few.” “I love you too, see ya.” Gabby hung up the phone, smiling.

“So what did he say?” Adriana questioned. “He was happy...I think” she replied.

The four had left the room a little while later to get to Daily’s Place and for the first time, Parker and Gabby didn’t speak to each other.

The Elite

The The Elite

The Elite

The The Elite

The Elite

The The Elite

Superkick PAAARRRR-

“Shut up John!” “You shut up Stu!” “You can’t even get anyone else in the Dark Order!” Parker walked close by, stifling laughter from what she was hearing in the room ahead. It went quiet for a second before you heard a slap and the familiar yelp of John Silver. She jumped and cringed, knowing that Brodie had hit him with papers, again. She was about to walk away when Alex Reynolds exited from the room to get away from the drama inside.

“Parker! What’s up?” “Just walking by, can I leave now?”

“Why leave so soon? Why not just stay, at least for a minute?” “I already told you I’m not joining the Dark Order, pretty boy.” Parker snapped back, clearly not dealing with it this week. Alex put his arm up to lean on the wall, trying to be smooth, “Who said anything about the Dark Order?” “God, what do you want?” “To talk to you, obviously.”

Parker arched a brow, “Why?” Alex chuckled, “Don’t act dumb.” “Excuse me?!” “C’mon, you know I didn’t mean it like that. What I meant, is that you and me? We got good chemistry.” Parker gave a confused face, “What the fuck do you mean ‘chemisrty’, pretty boy?”

“I mean think about it, why do you think I’m always trying to get you in the Dark Order?” “Cause you’re desperate?” “Oh come on! You can’t go five minutes without calling me ‘pretty boy’.”

Parker’s jaw dropped at that sentence, “That’s not what...I mean- you can’t….I give up.”

“So you’re saying that you do think I’m attractive?” Parker smiled, “Well they didn’t call you the handsome devil for nothing.” 

Alex moved closer to her, “Well I’ll admit, you’re very attractive yourself." Parker giggled, “I didn’t know you thought that.” “Oh trust me, I think about way more than how attractive you are.” He winked. Parker looked at the floor before taking out her phone and handing it to Reynolds, he typed in his number and handed her the phone back. She kissed his cheek before walking away, “I’ll call you.”

He smirked as she left, then jumped when Brodie yelled his name from inside the room. He frantically ran inside, scene ending on the closed door.

The Elite talked about Chili’s and such when they all looked towards the doorway. “Another fucking girl Adam?” Kenny shouted, as the trio of Adam, Gabby, and Adriana, who was Gabby's friend, walked into the EVP’s room. “Not right now Kenny, please.” Gabby ran her hand down her face, getting anxiety over what The Elite would say about her being pregnant. “We have an announcement.” Adam said, wrapping his arm around Gabby's waist knowing it would calm her. “Don’t tell me you guys are getting married this soon.” Nick sighed. Adam came around behind Gabby, cupping his hands around her non-existent baby bump.

“We’re….pregnant!” “You motherfucker.” Kenny surprisingly has a smile on his face. “So were just having sex without protection now Adam?” “Yeah what the hell?” The Bucks joked. “It’s ok, I’m going to be a dad!” Adam shouted in joy. The Elite congratulated the couple, surprised yet happy that they would be much more than dog parents now.

Hey, did you like that video? Click the screen for more.

And where do you think you’re going?

Before you check out our official merchandise page found at prowrestlingtees . com/youngbucks.

And to support the entire cast you can visit prowrestlingtees . com/aew

And thanks so much for Being The Elite.

The Elite The The Elite

What Nick you’re not gonna sing it all with me this time?

After BTE, the group of Adam, Gabby, Adriana, Matt, Nick, and Kenny decided to hang out. “So you're actually pregnant right?” Kenny questioned. “Duh what you think?” “Maybe it was just for the show I don’t know.” “Well it’s not”

 “Just know I’m happy for you two, I can put our differences aside for this.” Kenny reached in to give Gabby a hug. “Thank you Kenny, I appreciate it-“ she stopped when she felt Adam come from behind, placing a kiss on her neck. “Congrats on the baby man.” Kenny smiled at Adam, “Thank you Kenny.” Adam smiled back. “We should all take a pic, I won’t post till you guys announce the baby.” Nick came over. The four posed for the photo as Adam cupped gabby’s stomach and Kenny pointed his finger to the air, there were 2 of the 6 not in the photo tho.

Adriana stood in the corner of the EVP room smiling at her friends . Of course she was happy for Gabby and Page; though she barely met him or talked to him for a matter of fact she could tell he really loved Gabby. She was interrupted by her thoughts when someone tapped on her shoulder, “Hey! You must be Adriana, I’m Matt Jackson!” Adriana turnt so fast she got a little dizzy, she stumbled upon her feet and Matt held his hands out to catch her. “Woah- I’m so sorry, you scared me.” Matt chuckled as he noticed how pretty she was; he’s only seen clips of her online but up close she wasn’t half bad looking.

“Not everyday I can save a beautiful woman from falling on her face.” Adriana shot a confused look as he nervously chuckled, “Well, today is your lucky day. Thanks for scaring me…” Her eyes trailed up and down scanning the man head to toe. She noticed the perfect bun that sat on top of his head, the way he was still in gear from his match, and the way his eyes glistened as they stared at her lips, “You’re...um welcome? Hey look I know I’ve only known you for a couple minutes but-”

“Matt and Adriana stop being shy and come get in the picture! We’re not only celebrating a baby but our new signee for AEW! Man what a good day for us!” Nick exclaimed.

Adriana and Matt brought their eyes away from each other as they looked at the group. Gabby ran over and swooped Adriana away from Matt making him frown a little as Nick did the same. As they redid the picture Matt made sure to stand extra close to Adriana sliding his hand in her back pocket making her smirk. They smiled but Matt and Adriana smiled for different reasons . When they were done Adriana dragged Matt out the EVP room. “What the hell was that-“ Adriana started but was cut off with Hangman popping his head out asking if everything was okay.

Adriana started to reply but Matt cut her off, “We’re fine, but Adriana is starting to feel a little tired so I’m gonna take her to the hotel. Tell Gabby for us.” Hangman shot Matt an eye glance but shrugged it off as he made his way back in.

“I’m not tired Matt-” “You will be.”

Hotel Skip

Adam laid his head on Gabby’s lap as they watched t.v, Gabby running her fingers through his curly hair. “Y’know I’m really excited to be parents.” Adam said, turning down the volume. “I am too, especially with you around.” Adam sat up, grabbing Gabby’s hand, “And I’ll be by your side every step of the way.” Gabby smiled, “I love you.” “I love you too.” They closed the distance between themselves with a kiss.

It had only been a second before there was a knock on the door, Adam groaned and got up to answer it, “Oh, hey Parker.”

Parker waved awkwardly, looking back and forth at Adam and the floor, “Could I speak to Gabby?” He looked back in the room before looking at Parker, “One sec.” He closed the door, walking back into the room, “Who was it?” “Parker. She wants to talk to you.”

Gabby shook her head over and over, she didn’t want to hear Parker judging her anymore. The pair had rarely ever argued. Not seriously that is. They had helped each other with their happiness for years, but Gabby couldn’t even talk to her right now. “Gabby.” “I’m not talking to her, Adam.”

He crossed his arms and sat on the edge of the bed, “Talk to her Gabby. You guys are best friends, and I may not know Parker as well but I’m not letting you two drift apart, especially with you being pregnant.” Gabby rolled her eyes, “Fine, let her in.”

She stood up as Adam answered the door, Parker walked in, and looked like a wreck. It was clear she had been crying. “Hi Gab.” “Parker.”

They stood there awkwardly when Parker took a deep breath and spoke up, “Look...I’m so, so so sorry for how I acted earlier. This is one of the biggest moments in your life and I didn’t bother to be happy for you or even hug you cause I’m thinking about myself.” Parker started to cry again, “And I love you so much, I don’t want our friendship because I’m being selfish.”

Gabby started crying seeing Parker cry, “Parker it’s okay. I could’ve been helping you instead of patronizing you for eating ice cream.” They both laughed. “I love you too, and I can’t lose my best friend now.” Parker pulled Gabby in for a hug, both of them crying. They pulled away when Gabby yelled out, “We always look so ugly when we cry together.” They laughed once again.

Parker turned towards the man in the room, “Thank you Adam, you probably had to convince her.”

Adam tipped his imaginary hat, “Now I wonder if I can convince you to apologize to Chuck.” Parker shook her head, angry smile on her face, before she took a pillow from their bed and hit him with it, “You motherfucker.” She had hit him over and over before Gabby started hitting Parker, “Aye chill I ain’t gonna hit a pregnant lady!” “Wow Parkwe!” The two hit each other again and again.

While Adam smiled, knowing they would have some extra help around now that Gabby and Parker were best friends again.

Across the hall was a whole different story, when Cash knocked on Bri’s door.

“Marq will be here in an hour.” Bri said, pulling Cash into the room. “I can work with that.” He said before putting his mouth on Bri’s, walking them towards the bed. One by one, articles of clothing were stripped off until they were left in their underwear.

He detached their lips and started kissing at her neck, one of her weaknesses. “Cash..” She moaned, hands running through his hair. They were so into the moment they didn’t even hear the door open, but they did hear the voice of Marq, “Bri?”

The frantically looked at him in the doorway, a sad look on his face. “Marq!” She called as he started to walk away, she quickly pulled on her jeans and shirt that she and Cash had thrown on the floor, and chased after him into the parking lot. “Marq! Where are you going?” He had barely turned around, “For a drive.” “Please can we talk about this?!”

He turned around quickly, causing her to almost crash into him. She looked at his expression, not sad, not mad, but hurt. He had tears in his eyes, and his brows were furrowed, “Talk about what? That you’ve been cheating on me for God knows how long?!” Bri shook her head, “I didn’t mean to hurt you I just-” “You just couldn’t handle the fact that I haven’t asked you to be my girlfriend right away? I left the show early for you! I’ve been focusing more on you than my career! How is that not enough?” 

She shook her head, “I don’t know, I guess I just...didn’t want to be patient. Sorry that you couldn’t give me what Cash was.” “What? Sex? Cause if so you can go back in there right now.”

“Marq that’s not what I meant.” “No it’s exactly what you meant,” He shook his head, “Who would’ve thought that out of you, Gabby and Parker...I got paired to work on Being The Elite with the one who would hurt me.” “Marq please..” She tried to grab his hand but he moved it away.

“You choose. Me or Cash. I love you, Bri. And if you don’t feel the same, don’t bother choosing me.” He took a box and a card out his bag before he got in his rental and drove off. She opened the card and read the note.

‘Bri, we’ve been hanging out, and doing a lot more for a few months. I can’t believe I’m saying this already, but I think I’m in love with you. You have sass and are so beautiful I can’t even think straight. So I have to ask, will you be my girlfriend?’ She opened the box and saw a beautiful bracelet. And she realized she really fucked up.

 That’s all she could think about on the walk to her room, she walked in and saw Cash was gone, and he too left a note.

‘Hey Bri...what just happened was intense. Now though I enjoy what we do, I think I should just leave you alone, at least till I know I don’t have a target on my back. - Cash.’

Bri sunk to the ground, crying. Knowing that she now had to make the decision. Pleasure or love. And to her, that’s one of the hardest decisions of all.

SMUT WARNINGGGG

Far far away from the hotel, was a car with Adri and Matt, both making conversation.

“This isn’t the way to the hotel...” Adriana said as Matt just smirked at her. “I know it’s not, but you and I can’t deny we’ve been staring at each other all night long.” Matt shot back. There was no denying it. Ever since Adriana met Matt and his friends he could already tell she would be fun to have around.

“Matt, I barely know you-” Adriana started to speak but she instantly shut her mouth as Matt placed his hand on her thigh. “We don’t need to be the best of friends to have sex. I thought in the back of this car would be perfect, so we can both just get it out of our systems.” His hand began to slowly crawl up making its way to her core. Adriana could feel her stomach begin to twist, and she couldn’t lie and say she didn’t want this. She looked over at his face to see if he was being serious about this or not but her eyes were glued on his gigantic bulge as it began to turn her on. 

Most of the time Adriana was the responsible one, never in a million years would her friends ever think of her as having one night stands. Tonight was different. Their lips began to feel each other and Matt asked for entrance by licking her bottom lip. Matt groaned as he began to get frustrated while Adriana chuckled which caused him to shoot his tongue right down her throat. Adriana couldn’t take the clothes anymore as she began to undo her seatbelt and remove her shirt, Matt got the idea and started to undo the belt on his jeans. Matt made his way to the back and Adriana followed as their lips connected once again.

 As she straddled his legs she began to feel him through her shorts. She disconnected their lips and tried to get comfortable on the floor of the backseat beginning to throw her hair up in a ponytail. As she struggled with getting all her hair up, Matt began to ramble, “You know, I’ve never actually done this in the backseat of a car before. But I don't know, you might be a pro. Oh God if Nick finds out I had car sex with someone i just met he’s gonna-” His sentence ended with a groan as Adriana’s mouth met his staff. She moved up and down smirking as his groans filled the car, thank god they were in an empty parking lot. His fingers clasped on the back seat as he used his other hand to push her down making it touch the back of her throat. “Oh- oh my god Adri, I’m about to cum.” Matt groaned. He released into her mouth making her hum in delight as she swallowed it and licked her lips clean. He made sure he was still in the back of the car, and not in heaven as he felt his surroundings. Adriana chuckled as she began to put her shirt back on. “Well, that was…something else.” Matt joked.

 Adriana rolled her eyes, “it’s getting late we should head back to the hotel before they think something bad happened to us.” Matt got into the driver's seat and started the car, “Sweetheart, there was nothing bad with what just happened. Sucks this is a one time thing.“ he moved his hand to her thigh lightly massaging it. “Yea…one time…right, it depends if you can actually keep it in your pants, I’ll definitely be back soon though.” Matt grinned as they pulled up to the hotel. “I’ll see you later, we can not tell anyone about this. At least for now.” Adriana chuckled as she got out of the car. “Your secret is safe with me, Massie.”

WOW ICBTE ON A SUNDAYYY

[emile-hides]

YouWatch

This is a conversation topic that came up playing Overwatch last night; What if the Overwatch cast all has YouTube channels?

And while we voiced our opinions and debated to eachother, I feel the need to share all of my own takes as well.

Now, there’s 32 of these assholes so I’ll put it under the cut. Cause it’s long

Ana

Her channel is called “Grandma reacts”

Her viewers send her videos or shows to react to

She likes to have Jack, Gabe, Rein, and Torb on sometimes for some of the funnier videos

Hates daredevil compilations of people on high places with no safety gear

She swears at jump scares

Ashe

Daily vlogs

She calls her viewers part of the gang

BOB is the camera man and the crowd favorite

She mostly just likes to chat about nothing while wandering around the hide out

BOB makes really cool time lapses of them riding her bike down Route 66

Baptiste

Runs an advice channel

Mostly does Q&A live streams 

All of his ad revenue goes to local charities and hospitals

People sometimes donate to him and that also goes to charity

There’s a very slim chance he got overnight famous because he’s so pretty

Bastion

One 12 minute video of him playing with Ganymede in Torbjorn’s backyard

Torbjorn recorded it for him

Brigitte

Tried to do a make-up channel

Eventually devolved into a “How to” builder’s channel

Can put together an Ikea bookshelf in 15 minutes without even glancing at the instructions

Ikea furniture speed runs are her most popular videos

D.Va

Canonically already has a gaming channel

Also has a daily vlog channel where she hangs out with Lucio and Junkrat a lot

Takes requests on what games she plays

Despite mainly being an online PvP gamer, she adores playing story games and voice acting

She cried on live stream when she finished Undertale

Doomfist

Runs Talon’s official YouTube channel

All the videos are join Talon adds

Echo

Her channel is a mash

Will play or do any kind of video that’s popular at the moment

There’s three episodes of a Minecraft LP left to die

Seven vlogs all recorded almost 3 months apart

Two animations she made herself

A couple of reaction videos

And a Pachimari unboxing

She has a lot of sponsors

Genji

Also, canonically, has a gaming channel

Sometimes does videos of sick ninja tricks in his backyard

Has the same channel from before his fight with Hanzo, so there’s a 4-5 year gap between two videos

“So my brother tried to kill me” is the first video he makes when he finally comes back

Occasionally makes “Master reacts to (anime)” videos with Zenyatta

Hanzo

The show off channel

It’s mostly just target practice with his bow and arrow Genji recorded for him

90% of his comments are telling him to put a shirt on and cover the nipple

His channel also went dead after he killed Genji

Might start recording and uploaded unscheduled vlogs during his hobo days

Also does movie reviews

Junkrat

If I may defer your attention to this post

Yeah he just runs a demolition channel

Roadhog makes sure the camera doesn’t get damaged

Junkrat really loves the slow motion effect 

Lucio

Like Hana, he has two channels

One is his official music channel with music videos and concert clips

The other is also a vlog channel where he hangs out with Hana and Jamie

He’ll also talk about serious issues and his opinions on them on his second channel

McCree

Much like Hanzo, runs a show off channel

His is more popular because he’s straight up a cowboy though

People think it’s a gimmick for the channel. They have no idea he looks and sounds like that all the time

Mei

Has a scientific fact of the day Podcast with Winston

Talks about big issues

Her channel is very kid friendly and she explains things like global warming in a way they can understand

A lot of her videos will be watched by kids in science class

Mercy

“What to do encase of an emergency” tutorial videos

Gives basic medical training, like how to do CPR

Her videos are short and to the point so they can be played in an actual emergency

Genji is usually the person she uses as an example

Moira

Her channel is like Junkrat’s but more contained(?)

She does dangerous shit with chemicals but somehow it always ends wholesomly

The last minute of the video she speaks in a soothing Bob Ross voice as the lab is on fire behind her

The videos typically end with Angella coming back from her break

Orisa

It’s technically Efi’s channel

It’s a vlog to record Orisa’s progress tword becoming Numbani’s protector

Very popular, everyone loves how wholesome Orisa is

The money from the ads goes to fixing whatever Orisa breaks while trying to be helpful

All rude comments are deleted

Pharah

Show off channel

“99 dunks in a row” and such types of videos

They’re typically sped up with relaxing music

Lucio has appeared to play soccer with her a few times

Reaper

As Gabriel Reyes he ran a prank channel around the Overwatch base

He didn’t do any pranks that hurt or scared people though

Just recorded himself eating vanilla pudding out of a mayo jar to get people’s reactions

His favorite people to prank were Jesse and Genji because they had the most over the top reactions

Reinhardt is unprankable

The channel died with the fall of Overwatch

Reinhardt

Advice channel but louder than Baptiste

He’s full of energy in every one of his videos

Calls himself his viewer’s Grandpa

If anyone comes to him for advice on how to handle abuse of any kind he will adopt them on the spot

Also does meme reactions, sometimes has to have Brigitte explain what makes it funny

Has one video where he speaks quietly called “Grandpa reads a bedtime story” and it’s literally just him reading a bedtime story with soft music in the background

Roadhog

Toy unboxings

All of his videos are silent aside from the cute music he puts of them

The only part of him that’s ever on camera are his hands

Sigma

All his videos devolve into rambles about the universe

Other than that his channel doesn’t have a real theme

He tries to explain scientific principals but quickly turns into a shouting mess about the universe and gravity

Moira is the one to stop recording in the middle of his breakdowns

Soldier 76

Use to run a tutorial channel

Gabe called it “Dad Teaches you” and Jack hates that he’s not your father

He teaches you to cook basic meals and do simple repairs on a car

He talks in a very fatherly voice

Begrudgingly, he became his veiwers father

His channel died with Overwatch as well

Sombra

Gaming channel, but hacked

Does glitched speedruns on live stream

Clickbait thumbnails and titles

“How to get 1,000,000,000 free V-Bucks in Fortnite”

Steals kid’s Fortnite accounts

Symmetra

Stim channel

All of her videos focus on satisfying visuals

Someone asked her to do ASMR once and she hated it. The video existed for less than 24 hours

Torbjorn

Like Brigitte, runs a builder channel

It also doubles as a story time channel as he tends to ramble about the good old days

All his videos are 30+ minutes long

Somehow adds “and that’s how I lost my eye” to every story so no one knows how it actually happened

Bastion guest appears in a lot or Torb’s videos but only because he’s bored and wants attention

Tracer

Animated story telling

Makes animations of their missions and her day-to-day life

Thanks to her chronal accelerator animations take half as long

Still only uploads like two videos a month

Widowmaker

Food review videos

Hates everything, nothing gets high marks

Gets view ship cause she’s hot and very snarky

Winston

His channel is exactly like Mei’s

It’s more popular though because he’s a monkey and thus draws kid’s attention better

All of his viewers are elementary school science teachers and their class

Wrecking Ball

Tried to do a builder channel but all the comments were on how cute he is

Hates being called cute so he made his mech say swear words

He’s very popular with little boys

Also loves destruction and may destroy things for fun

“5000lbs wrecking ball VS Junkrat’s house”

Zarya

Vlogs but like... Work out vlogs.

It’s just time lapses of her at the gym

Insanely popular with lesbians for very obvious reasons

Encourages her viewers to take care of themselves and start slow

Blew a kiss at the camera once, became the most used image of her on the internet

Zenyatta

Most of his videos are relaxing music over beautiful visuals he recorded

The other half of his videos are meditation leadings and yoga

He’s also done videos on the omnic crisis and talked in length on his belief for the future

Has one video of him pranking Genji

[vagrantblvrd]

Jeremy’s initiation into the Fake AH Crew:

Successfully mug Gavin.

There are rules, of course.

1. Jeremy can’t kill Gavin.

“What? Why would I - “

“You’re new. Trust us, that won’t last.”

2. Jeremy can’t shoot, stab, or otherwise injure Gavin.

“...I’m starting to feel a little concerned here.”

3. If he doesn’t mug Gavin by midnight, he fails.

“Does he turn back into a pumpkin?”

From the stories he's heard as part of B Team this should be easy. There's a running joke that Gavin gets mugged all the time. The main crew will shell out a few bucks and send some poor schmuck to mug him. Listen to him shriek about it over the comms or on a phone call, and try not to lose their shit when he realizes who sent the damn mugger in the first place.

This should be easy enough, but no.

No.

Jeremy's life for the rest of the day is like a Roadrunner cartoon.

He cannot mug Gavin for the life of him and it’s infuriating because Gavin manages to evade him time and again without ever seeming to realize someone’s trying to mug him.

HOW.

A little before midnight Jeremy finds himself flat on his back in the middle of the desert rethinking the life choices that have brought him to this particular moment in time.

The flaming wreckage of his car - his car - is off to the side, coyotes howling in the distance and Jeremy has no idea how he got here. (Somewhere between his meeting with Geoff at the penthouse and now there was a gang attack at some point. A terrifying high-speed chase with the cops with at least one helicopter involved. The water in his boots remind him there were boats too, the details are unimportant.

After a while, he realizes he can ear an engine approaching and looks up to Gavin driving up on his Faggio.

Jeremy groans and drops his head back down as Gavin parks that dumb bike of his. Hears him walking over and tries to see how many constellations he can name, so of course that's when Gavin leans over him, amused as all hell because of course he knew what was going on the whole time.

Jeremy groans and closes his eyes, hands folded on his chest because he is done.

“After all that, you’re going to give up so easily?” Gavin asks, and he sounds like he’s laughing.

Jeremy’s eyes pop open, angry, annoyed, and oh, boy, did he realize the reason for the rules about this bullshit game the Fakes play because there were moments he was tempted over the course of the day. Had his gun on him the whole time and everything.

It takes a moment, but Jeremy suddenly realizes Gavin's dangling is wallet over his head. Holing on to it with his forefinger and thumb.

Jeremy’s eyes narrow.

Gavin smirks, waggling his wallet as his eyebrows go up, and Jeremy -

He slowly rises his hand, fully expecting Gavin to snatch his wallet back out of reach the moment Jeremy gets close – some Charlie Brown and the football jackassery – but he doesn't. Just watches Jeremy with that dumb smirk on his face as Jeremy's fingers close on it. Tugs it out of Gavin's hold with suspicious ease.

“Not quite midnight, yet,” Gavin says, glancing at the that ridiculously expensive watch of his and back down at Jeremy, smirk shifting more towards a smile.

A few moments go past,the wheels in Jeremy's head slowly turning, and then it clicks.

He mugged  - for a given definition of – Gavin before midnight. 

He did it.

Jeremy starts laughing, normal amused kind of thing that slowly turns a little hysterical because what the actual fuck???

As he's rolling around on the ground cackling to himself because his day has been a complete nightmare, the rest of the fakes pop up and watch him. Look a Gavin who shrugs, like he has no idea why the hell Jeremy's acting like a loon.

The Fakes have had some trouble spot flare up here and there the past little while. Gangs working for them getting a little too greedy, pushy, that kind of thing. And they figured it would be a good idea for this Dooley kid to get a taste of what things were like for the main crew in these kind of situations. 

Had someone else from the crew watching the entire time, ready to step in if things started to look a little dicey. If Jeremy in over his head, but he didn't. 

Might have gotten a little bit...creative with his approach to problem solving, but he handled himself just fine. Impressed the others a time or two, enough for Geoff to call Gavin up and tell him they'd put the poor kid through enough for one day, let him mug him already.

Jeremy stares at Gavin and the others while they explain, ask him if he still wants to be part of the main crew after all this, and he sighs.

“You're all assholes,” he says, forearm over his eyes, laughing again, but it's the incredulous, happy kind this time. “But fucking fine, I accept.”

Everything goes pretty smoothly for a while after that, Jeremy settling into the main crew like it's where he was meant to be, but a few months down the road he starts experimenting with fashion. Pushing the boundaries. 

Starts out small with little flashes and pops of color here and there, waits until the others are used to catching little glimpses of purple or orange from the corner of their eye while they're on a job or pulling a heist. Start to associate the colors with him, and then come the cowboy hats and so on and so on, Jeremy explaining he's trying to make a name for himself with the crew.

The others all have these reputations, you know? Jeremy would absolutely hate to let them down, so he's trying, here.

And then word starts getting back to the others about the Fake AH Crew member who wears purple and orange and enjoys cowboy hats.

 This "Rimmy Tim" fellow and the horror that follows when they realize what Jeremy's been doing all this time when he strolls into the penthouse in full Rimmy Tim gear, shit-eating grin on his face because yes, this is indeed payback for the hell they put him through during his initiation.

This horrendous character he's created who must be colorblind or simply have no taste whatsoever to think his ensemble is in any way fashionable.

Jeremy tipping his cowboy hat at them and moseys off somewhere, whistling as he goes, oozing smugness and a definite air of satisfaction while the others watch in awe.

[caught-intherye]

Cost Of Education

           Sitting in a room that seems to have 50 times the square footage of my entire house, on the 5th row from the top, I can see everyone below me but the last person I pay any attention to is the professor at the bottom. The girl seven rows before me looks like she woke up before the sun, with blonde streaked beach waves falling from her braid, wrapped around her head like a crown. The irony of the girl to her right who looks like she woke up with ten minutes before this class started, wearing a beanie finding her palm to be a perfectly good pillow in the middle of this lecture about the laws against prostitution. I could never be a prostitute I think too much bang for your buck I chuckle out loud at my joke, if I don’t who will? Now I’m distracted by the scent of bad body odor, for a second I’m self-conscience about my own odor and I can’t remember whether I put on deodorant or not but then I notice a guy beside me opened his gym bag to pull out his phone charger (I judge him ever so slightly for having a Samsung, he’s probably super techy). Almost everyone has their laptop out, none of which are actually taking notes, I can see three people playing box head, five people on tumblr and a whopping 14 people just making those blue squares appear on their desktop page. The only reason my lap top is open, is because I’d rather have my hands resting on a key board than the table in front of me. My attention falls back on my professor as he’s pacing back and forth without talking, did he notice no one was listening? Did he ever really think we were listening? Then the short round man pushes up his glasses with a huff and looks at the ground shaking his head as if trying to remember something. My laptop makes the noise notifying me that I got an iMessage. It’s my manager from Starbucks, asking if I can come in early this afternoon at three; it’s already two thirty but if I leave now I can make it. I decide this lecture isn’t more important than an extra two hours on the clock so I pack up and leave.

            On a bus that smells like sweat and urine, but I’d rather that than the other thing you do in the washroom. Now picking at my nails making a mental note to get them done after work, whenever I get fake nails no one can even tell because I ask for then to be as short as my real nails, I can’t do my everyday duties with unrealistically long nails. I look out the windows and can see the smog blurring out the hills of northern California, maybe the pollution here is getting out of hand. I watch as a girl who looks like she couldn’t have seen more than thirteen summers light a cigarette and hope her mom doesn’t find out. Finally at my stop, I swing my green and brown backpack around and over one shoulder, trapping most of my hair under my strap; I’m used to it. As I’m standing at the back doors of the bus before they open I look down at my converse and realize my shoe lace is untied. Stepping off the bus I bend down to tie my shoe and my blue jean’s button pops open and my belly button feels free for the first time all day. Quickly fixing the wardrobe malfunction I look up and find my co-worker with his face pressed up against the glass window on the door giving me a creepy yet welcoming smiling. I hit him with an equally as creepy double eyebrow wiggle. I love how silly I can act at this job, and no one will think I’m actually silly, they’ll just think I’m cute and corky.

             “That’s cute” Jeff says while holding the door open for me to walk through, “I know” I say back without making eye contact. Jeff is a good looking man who always has the right amount of stubble, hair colour that matches the coffee we make, not quite an afro but pretty curly. His eyebrows thick and unkempt above his hazel coloured eyes, his smile is super cute but he’s such a goof ball that I could only think of him as a little brother. I throw my black t-shirt over my tank top and wrap the apron around my waist. Sara is working today, and she always has positive vibes and makes me appreciate life a little more every time I see her. With her blonde hair below her ears, she greets me with a warm smile that causes her blue eyes to squint a little. She has a tattoo of the solar system, with the sun on her left elbow and all the planets placed on rings circling the center. I couldn’t be happier working with these two.

           I’m on a break with Sara and we’re sitting on the wooden deck, she’s sipping a green tea with her legs crosses and I’m having a black coffee. We’re sharing a laugh while reminiscing all the times we purposely pronounce people’s name wrong when I get a text from a woman who works at my other job. She says she won’t be able to make her shift tonight and wants me to take it for her, I debate for a couple second but agree that I can never make too much money in one day so I take her up on her offer. I need to be on stage by ten so I need to make sure Jeff can drive me home fast. All my clothes, or lack thereof, is already in a canvas bag because I’m always on call for my night job.

           I get home at 9:45, if I take my bike I can make it in time. “Hey Ella, where yea going, sweetie?” my mother asks, “I promised some friends that I would meet up with them for some drinks.” I respond walking right by her in our crowded kitchen. My mom takes a break from washing the dishes in the huge sink as I back track a couple steps to pick up a couple tangerines. “Why are you in such a rush?” inquiring while wiping her hands, “they are already at the bar, mom, I don’t wanna miss anything.” and I close the door behind me as I enter the garage from our kitchen. I take my fixed-gear bike off the metal hooks on the concrete walls, and I’m off at least 55 miles an hour. I like going fast, it’s dangerous but it blurs everything around me out and does the opposite for my mental space, gives me room to think. I’m thinking about how far I’ve come turn left with my mom, she hasn’t given me shit for a while about going out, that’s just the beauty in growing up turn right I guess. Ok I should be thinking about something more productive. So no school tomorrow speed bump perfect time to get my nails done turn left I’ll ask Alex to come with me, she probably needs a manicure as well. Now I’m turning into a laneway where I enter through a backdoor. The same security guard gives me the same cut eye for bringing my bike in but I don’t trust people on this side of the city.

           My bike is resting against the wall and now my regular clothes resting at the bottom of this grey locker. I slip on my pink string-like bottoms, this colour looks a lot better on me when I had a tan. I should plan a day to go to the beach soon, maybe with my mom – I feel like I never hang out with her anymore. As I pull my top over my head that cuts off right under my nipple, Amanda walks into the room. She’s one of my favourite girls who work here, today just keeps getting better and better! “Hey girl!” she says with her southern accent. “Hey Mandy, I didn’t know you were working tonight.” She doesn’t like being called Mandy (says it just doesn’t sound right) but I call her that partly to mess with her; mostly because it adds some innocence to what it sounds like we do here. Without acknowledging the nickname she says, “I didn’t know you were either” then she dropped her leather bag with tassels from her broad shoulder, she was the only girl I knew who could pair that bag with a pair of low cut pale pink cowboy boots and a short jean jacket and still look cool and casual. “Yea, I don’t usually work on Tuesdays, I’m covering Amy’s shift. God knows why she couldn’t make it.” Before responding Amanda already had her floral sun dress on its way over her head. “I know why couldn’t make it too.” She replied while bringing one finger up to her nose, closing nostril with it and sniffing the air, I could only laugh in agreement.

NOW PRESENTING …. CANDI DARLING

           I strut out onto the stage, using my best bedrooms eyes and scan over every man in the audience until one man stops me dead in my tracks. My round, bald headed, four eyed Professor.

[amazingviralinfo]

This super creepy guy posted an ad on Craigslist saying he would play folk music buck naked for parties of young women I called him up as Buk Lao the head of a sorority to see if he'd be willing to perform for our kinky party It turns out this guy was down for absolutely anything and he was weirder than I could have ever imagined check it out *rings* Hello? I see your advertisement about dancing for the folk music, right? Dancing? this is Onaji, I sent you the email about that oh yeah Yeah, actually we have a sorority here for the Kappa Kappa Gamma What do you have there is a sorority, is this a house you are talking about? yeah its a house over there so I wanted to see, you know, could I have some music dancing people are going to be drinking, hanging out having a good time, conversing- that kind of thing How many women would be there, do you think? Probably like 55, something like that 50 women? And let me tell you, there are some beautiful college girls you know So it's going to be quite nice, you know. A lot of eye candy, that kind of thing So what do the women want to do? They just want me to strip or they want to kiss me or what? Yeah they want you to strip and kind of play around with you a little bit you know? While your singing, you're going to be rocking out with your cock out! Right? Oh yeah, yeah. They you can play, they can play with me if they want to. Okay, but do you have like a Viagra or the cialis? So that way it can stay hard? Yeah, I can bring something, yeah. Yeah, okay. Just because otherwise we have like a pharmacy here you know? We have all kind of medication in case, I just want you to be hard for 10 hours You know? We need like a big stick, right? Yeah, I'm like 10 inches so that would be good. Oh yeah, that's going to be great! We actually have horse shoes here too, so we might play with it *groans* yeah that sounds good. Yeah, its like a silicone horse shoe, right? Throw it on your penis- you understand? Yeah, okay. Yeah its cool. Okay, but you're not like a crazy right Because I can't have like a crazy psycho killing rapist coming to the house you know? So- No, no, no, no *laughs* Not me. So do you party at all or do you supervise this, or what? I'm going to party to man! I'm going to get down. I'm going to suck so much dick that night It's going to be great. Oh good, good. Yeah good. Yeah, all right. Yeah We would love to kind of see what kind of things you're open to I'm down to pay extra like we just have some really Crazy-it's gonna be a really really hot girls that kind of thing like one lady, she loves watermelon- you know? So maybe it would be great if I could cut a hole in it and you could put your penis inside- you know? So these girls they like to- like you suck or jerk me off or whatever? Yeah, yeah for sure. Honestly you should be paying me for this *laughs* right? Yeah, that would be good. Yeah. Yeah, okay. I will be in touch with you- just keep an eye out for my phone call, but thank you so much for that time and Take care of yourself, and that dingdong okay, okay? Okay I'll see you, bye. Dude that shit was the weirdest phone call I didn't even know where to like *laughs* this guy He ended up emailing me a bunch of super creepy naked pictures of himself I called him up a couple of days later as Tyrone, another performer at this sorority party who he'd be dancing with *rings* Hello? This is Tyrone. I was told that you would be the performer going to the sorority party. Oh, yeah, right. When can we meet up to like plan the choreography? Yeah oh, you mean like ahead of time? Yeah, because we have like costumes, we have to coordinate that kind of thing. What kind- what do you mean, what kind of costumes? She didn't tell me anything about that. Oh, well like just like a little playful stuff I got a few different like socks and stuff like that, like Haynes and Puma I have some dress socks At some point we are going to be dressing up like a cowboy other times we're just going to be putting socks on our dicks and clockwise twirling that bitch Yeah, she told me something about a watermelon and other stuff- Oh yeah! she was talking so fast, I didn't know Oh yeah That's right. Dog like three weeks ago, she got me a mini watermelon I was able to put half of my penis up in there. I think this time they're going to get those jumbo bitches from Costco or something like that Yeha okay, so you put your dick in a watermelon for what? What happens? Because I never did that. Well then it kind of like hangs out- Then you try to like keep it elevated like a motherfucking pendulum and like they just get a real kick out of it, and then after you pull your dick out After you pull your dick out they pour some Ciroc up in there. Bitches start slurping, so it's like a drink Okay That's pretty wild Like I am telling your dog these asian girls that get down don't like you know Everybody gets in there with a straw you know what I'm saying? Like Slirp Slirp. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, and she said something about a back room too maybe? It's more like like a dungeon,than a back room I guess they could give me tips back there too then. yeah, do you like whips? Yeah, whips are okay Just like whips and chains, that kind of thing yeah, wait the girls whip you? they like to chain you up and like kind of just point at your dick and then be like oh my God look at your penis *laughs* And they laugh at your ass. Okay She said she has a pharmacy there too for all kinds of pills. Oh yeah. Yeah, they got all sorts of stuff man So like they've got Viagras, they've got Cialis, they have pain killers up in that bitch They got Tylonol, they have Zicam- Wow They have allergy pills in case you are feeling really sniffy Do they smoke grass too? Yeah they smoke a little bit right like those Asian girls like they take one little hit man They get some motherfucking second hand smoke and still fucking giggling all over the place so- Well that sounds like a cool place, then I guess they have- 50 you're saying probably 40 or 50 women there, so I should be able to make some money gear not for so many Yeah for sure it's gonna be great. So like I said I'm going to go ahead and just kind of figure out the next steps I'm going to go ahead and call her up now kind of line up the plan and follow up with you okau? Yeah, yeah, you just tell me give me the address and the time and you know I'll meet you there You know what I mean Alright brother Toodles. Bye What a fucking weird specimen. Oh my God I couldn't end the prank I had to leave it open-ended in case I call him back Oh my God dude this guy as you can see he was so down for anything that it almost felt impossible to weird him out I decided it was time to blow his buzz by doing this *rings* Hello? Yeah. Hey this is Russell. I'm actually an investigator with NYU We had quite of a weird issue here on campus lately And we think you may have been a victim of it I wanted to quickly just ask you- get you on the phone and see if you've got any weird phone calls from any students on campus lately? You're an investigator for NYU? We recently busted a sex trafficking ring here on campus and included a large amount of men who were catfished on Craigslist to come to a certain event and then come perform or come participate in a party of some sort And they ended up being held captive and then a whole slew of other things So there was a dungeon here and their makeshift basement. It was quite. There's quite a scary ordeal Were you possibly, you know hit up by any of these individuals? No I wasn't I just got a you know wrong number, but I mean you know what so what happened? What do you mean the NYU found out about it or something? Yeah- Basically there were some people held captive like I said there was a dungeon in the basement and there were men locked in cages It was it was very Barbaric it was very strange and But the call, the calls were traced to one student here her name is Onaji. It's an Asian American student You know we had many men here captive for for several weeks, so that's extremely frightening, you understand? Well, good luck to you. Whatever you're looking for yeah, no, sorry I can't help you I just wanted to make sure you know? Because you got maybe a wrong number call because we did subpoena the phone records and we saw that there was a 25 minute conversation with with this number Well I don't remember unless I left it off the hook and I don't know what happened. I just don't want you to be the one ending up on a hook if you know what I'm saying So did you remember at all what the context that that conversation might have been? No, I just you know somebody was looking for George, and I said you know he's not here I got you, so for 25 minutes. You might have talked about George No, I don't know I wasn't on the phone that long with them Oh okay You know I just- don't know how that happened. Let me go ahead and just put some notes here on your files to say that this is a miss like you weren't contacted just Say they don't bother you again hopefully and then but I do appreciate you letting me know again I'm just looking out for you here. I hope you understand why I'm calling I'm not calling you're not any trouble, you didn't do anything wrong anything like that I just wanted to you know make sure you're safe. Everything's okay. You understand okay? Okay Thanks! Bye. All right take care, bye. I called him back the next day to see if he was still down to come to the party after what he'd heard from Detective Russell Johnson. Here's what happened. *rings* Hello? Yeah man! What's up? It's me. Are you excited for tonight? Yeah well some guy called. He said that uh he was investigating you and and the place because he said you put the guys in dungeons or jails or something there in the dungeon and And he said it's a you know a big scam No, no, no. There's somethings like a B.S.M. right? They say B.S.M. right? Like a B-BSM I don't know how he got your phone number but he knew that I talked to you on the phone for 25 minutes He had my phone number, and I said I don't know anything must have been a wrong number and he said well Why were you on the phone for 25 minutes, and I said I don't know I guess I didn't hang up the phone Sir, we have been tapping the line We have a full recording of the conversation When I asked you you explicitly told me that you did not know who was calling and it was a wrong number for 25 minutes You know can we get to the bottom of this just like what's happening here Right, well I want to talk to the woman. Yeah, well- Who the fuck is that, who did you put on the telephone? Listen ma'am. I'm just gonna get off the phone. I'll go ahead and handle the rest of this What do you mean get off the telephone this is my conversation *hangs up* ... sir? Thank you for watching everybody wasn't that shit crazy? Nothing phased that guy! Smash that like button down below if you enjoyed. Special thanks to all y'all who heard this first on the livestream make sure you hit that bell notification when you subscribe It's the only way to catch our surprise live shows. We'll see you subscribers again next week.

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