#and then go back to punching matt walsh

[clown-alchemist]

If they weren't cowards marvel would create a team of mtf mutants called the ex-men who exclusively fight transphobia

[aion-rsa]

New British Comedy TV Series for 2021: BBC, Channel 4, Sky, Netflix, ITV

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An inter-generational zombie horror-comedy, an Alan Partridge-presented travelogue, Rowan Atkinson fighting a bee… 2021 British TV comedy is a broad church, and that’s before we’ve come to all the stand-ups slicing up their Edinburgh shows into streaming half-hours and Daisy May Cooper playing a 17th century witch. Here’s the info about those new shows and more.

This list will be kept updated through the year as new commissions, casting and release dates arrive. Here’s a look back at the new British comedies that arrived in 2020, here are the new British dramas on their way this year, and here are 2021’s best returning British TV series.

And Did Those Feet

In addition to a second series for The One Show-spoofing This Time With Alan Partridge, the son of Norwich is back to poke fun at the history TV genre. With a working title of And Did Those Feet, Steve Coogan’s character will present what Chortle describes as “a Simon Schama-style historical documentary of Britain” for the BBC, directed and co-written by frequent Steve Coogan/Partridge collaborators, Rob and Neil Gibbons.

Baby Reindeer

Here’s a promising commission: stand-up-actor-screenwriter Richard Gadd, winner of the 2016 Edinburgh Comedy Award, is bringing his one-man show Baby Reindeer to Netflix. It won’t be a stand-up special, but a comedy-drama adapted into eight half-hour episodes about the true and revealing story of Gadd’s experiences with his stalker.

Big Boys

Comedian Jack Rooke (above, left) has adapted material from his stand-up shows into six half-hour TV episodes for Channel 4. Big Boys is a university-set comedy about a friendship between shy, closeted student Jack and his boisterous mate Danny. Derry Girls’ Dylan Llewellyn stars alongside Plebs and Pls Like’s Jonathan Pointing.

Bloods

Famalam, Sliced and Truth Seekers’ Samson Kayo has created paramedic comedy Bloods for Sky One. In it, he stars alongside Jane Horrocks as a pair of paramedics working for a south London emergency service. Motherland’s Lucy Punch, Ghosts’ Kiell Smith-Bynoe and The Mighty Boosh’s Julian Barratt co-star.

Buffering

Comedian and TV presenter Iain Stirling, best known as the voice of ITV’s Love Island and for his presenting work alongside CBBC’s Hacker the Dog as well as his appearance on Taskmaster series eight, has co-written a sitcom for ITV2. Buffering is a six-episode coming-of-age comedy starring Stirling, written in collaboration with Steve Bugeja.

Chivalry

A six-episode comedy series promising to “skewer and satirise the complex state of contemporary sexual politics” is on its way to Channel 4. Written by and starring Him & Her and Ridley Road’s Sarah Solemani, Chivalry asks if romance can survive in the post #MeToo era (answer: yeah, of course. Predatory, entitled sleazebaggery has never been romantic). Steve Coogan stars as a successful film producer and womaniser, with Solemani as a writer-director seeking funding for her next feminist project. The two are thrown together and thrash out two different perspectives on gender, sex and romance.

Finding Alice

Keeley Hawes stars in this six-part ITV comedy about a recently widowed woman (Hawes) who’s forced to wade through a mountain of debt and secrets left behind by her husband. Among the cast are Joanna Lumley, Nigel Havers, and Sharon Rooney. It starts on ITV1 on Sunday the 17th of January at 9pm.

Generation Z

Cult British filmmaker and sometime Doctor Who director Ben Wheatley (Free Fire, High Rise, Kill List) is writing and directing a six-part satirical comedy about the generation gap for Channel 4. Using the supernatural premise of a retirement community becoming infected with a toxic substance that turns them all into flesh-eating zombies, Generation Z will see yoots vs boomers over six hour-long episodes. 

Lethal

Diane Morgan, star of Mandy, Motherland and Philomena Cunk, has co-written new half-hour comedy pilot Lethal for BBC Two. It’s about a Bolton woman so obsessed with emigrating to the United States that she plans to marry a prisoner on death row to get her Green Card. The pilot was created with comedy producer and co-creator of Holly Walsh secret family comedy The Other One Pippa Brown.

Man vs Bee

Johnny English’s Rowan Atkinson and Will Davies have collaborated on a new comedy series for Netflix. Told over 10 x 10-minute episodes, Man vs Bee is… exactly what it sounds like: the story of a man who does battle with a bee, and causes untold damage to a luxury mansion in the process.

Murder, They Hope

Following on from Death on the Tyne and Dial M for Middlesburgh, Gold’s Jason Cook-written Agatha Christie spoofs starring Johnny Vegas and Sian Gibson will be back for a third instalment. Murder, They Hope sees Gemma and Terry chuck in the coach tour business and become private investigators.

Read more

TV

New British TV Series for 2021: BBC, ITV, Channel 4, Sky Dramas and More

By Louisa Mellor

TV

Best Returning British TV Series 2021: the Most Anticipated Series Coming Back This Year

By Louisa Mellor

The Baby

Comedy producer-writers Lucy Gaymer and Sian Robins-Grace (Sex Education, pictured) have created an eight-part darkly comic horror series for Sky about a 38-year-old woman unexpectedly landed with a baby that changes everything. “Controlling, manipulative and with violent powers, the baby twists Natasha’s life into a horror show. Where does it come from? What does it want? And what lengths will Natasha have to go to in order to get her life back?” This one’s likely to arrive in 2022, but we’re banging the drum early.

The Cleaner

This six-part BBC comedy is adapted from a German comedy original about a man who works as a crime scene cleaner. Man Down and Taskmaster’s Greg Davies stars in the title role as Paul ‘Wicky’ Wickstead, the cleaner responsible for removing traces of murder from a scene, who meets and gossips with some interesting people on the job.

The Offenders

Stephen Merchant (The Office, Extras) has created new BBC comedy The Offenders about a group of strangers flung together as part of a community payback scheme. Think Misfits without the superpowers? The cast welcomes Christopher Walken to British TV comedy, alongside Merchant, Rhiane Barreto, Gamba Cole, Darren Boyd, Clare Perkins and Poldark’s Eleanor Tomlinson.

The Red Zone

BBC One’s football comedy The First Team may not have set the world alight, but Netflix is trying a different tack with The Red Zone. Created by sports writers Barney Ronay and Jonathan Liew, it’s described as “a comedy about football, but also not about football,” so that clears that up. Casting is tba.

The Witchfinder

On its way to BBC Two from the writer-directors of the excellent This Time With Alan Partridge is historical comedy The Witchfinder. Set in 1647, it’s the story of a failing witchfinder played by Tim Key (stand-up, poet, actor, Side Kick Simon from loads of Alan Partridge shows and most importantly, Taskmaster task consultant), on a horseback road-trip through East Anglia with his latest captee, played by Daisy May Cooper (writer-creator of This Country, the brilliant Kerry Mucklowe on screen and people’s champion of Taskmaster series 10). Six half-hour episodes will air on BBC Two. 

This is Going to Hurt

Everybody should read Adam Kay’s excruciating but brilliant and moving memoir of his time as a junior doctor, then they should immediately buy a copy for a friend. If the BBC Two adaptation, written by Kay (he left medicine for comedy writing years ago), is even half as good as the book, it will be a must-see. Ben Whishaw stars.  

Toast in America

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Thespian, egotist and voiceover artiste Steven Toast is returning to the screen. Matt Berry (What We Do in the Shadows) and Arthur Mathews’ Toast in London ran for three series on Channel 4 between 2012 and 2015, following the embittered actor’s career ups and downs, with a host of outrageously unexpected guest stars. Now a spin-off is on its way to a new home on the BBC, tracking Toast’s attempts to break America.

The post New British Comedy TV Series for 2021: BBC, Channel 4, Sky, Netflix, ITV appeared first on Den of Geek.

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[fvckyouimaprophet]

Contrast

Summary: Part 9 of the color verse. You see in black and white until the day after you sleep with your soulmate. (part 1, part 2, part 3, part 4, part 5, part 6, part 7, part 8) Author’s Note: It’s been over 3 years since I updated. Even though it’s been ages since I’ve watched the show, this has always been one of my dearest fics. So, without further ado, here’s the update. (@like-shipsinthenight I know you’re out of the fandom, but maybe you’d be interested.)

“Hey, sorry about that. I had to go through some case files at the last minute, and it ended up taking way longer than expected.” When no one responds, Connor steps toward the bedroom. “Oliver?”

He’s about to call his name again, but when he opens the door, he sees Oliver splayed out across the bed, fully dressed but fast asleep.

Connor can’t blame him. He was supposed to be home hours ago. He sighs, making quick work of brushing his teeth and getting undressed. When he sits down next to Oliver, and the bed dips a little, Oliver lets out a small whine but doesn’t wake up.

For a moment, Connor takes him in, his heart twinging a little. He’s still dressed in his work clothes — a button-up and slacks. His hair is messy, half on his face, and Connor reaches out, gently pushing it back. “Oliver...”

It takes Oliver a moment to come to, but after a moment, his eyes open. “You’re late,” he croaks out.

“I know. I’m sorry.”

“Again.”

Connor leans down to press a kiss to his forehead, but Oliver groans and shifts away fractionally.

“I’m really sorry.”

“What time is it?”

Connor looks at his watch. “1:27 A.M.” Oliver doesn’t say anything, and after a moment, Connor can feel him drifting off again. It takes him a minute, but he gets Oliver’s shirt and pants off of him and frowns when he sees the little dip on his stomach where the belt buckle has left a mark. He presses a kiss to it, and Oliver shifts again.

“I don’t wanna have sex,” he grumbles.

“Good thing, ‘cause neither do I.” It isn’t easy to get the blanket pulled out from under Oliver, but he does it anyway and curls up next to him. Typically, Oliver moves back to be flush against him, but this time he doesn’t, and Connor suspects it has little to do with how tired he is. “I love you.”

He’s just met with heavy breathing.

- - -

It’s after ten when Connor wakes up, and it takes him a moment to realize that Oliver isn’t in bed. He stumbles out, still half-awake, to find him on the living room couch on his laptop.

“You left me hanging in there.”

Oliver doesn’t look up. “I figured I’d let you sleep since you came home late.” Nothing about his tone reads as cold, but Connor knows there’s something there.

“You’re mad.” He makes his way over and falls back on the couch next to Oliver. “Talk to me.”

“I’m not mad.” A but lingers unsaid.

“Then you’re upset.” When Oliver says nothing, he adds, “Or frustrated.” Connor’s stomach knots.

“A little yeah.” Oliver takes off his glasses and sets them on his knee before pinching the bridge of his nose. “I think I should sleep at my place tonight.”

“Don’t do this.”

“Do what?”

“I thought I was the one who was supposed to be bad at communication. We can’t both be bad at it.” That finally manages to crack a small smile from Oliver, and he turns to face him.

“You said you were going to be back at ten. Then you texted and said eleven.”

“I know. I’m sorry. I’m just new to the firm, so they’re throwing everything at me.”

“It’s been like that for four months now. I know you can’t help it, but I want to spend time with you. It’s been—” Oliver stops himself from finishing the sentence, and suddenly, despite the fact that they’re sitting right next to each other, the gap between them feels impossibly large.

“It’s been like that with Michaela too since she started at Caplan and Gold. It’s why she’s been spending all her nights with Aiden. Honestly, I think they’re going to move in together any day now. If you moved in with me, maybe that would help.”

Oliver shakes his head, and his gaze drops down to his lap. “Let’s get through this, and then we’ll talk about it.” The knot in Connor’s stomach feels tighter.

“I don’t like the sound of that."

“Why not?” Oliver asks.

“Because it makes it sound like you think there’s a chance we won’t get through this.”

“That’s not what I mean.” Oliver picks up his glasses and slides them back on. “I think we will. We just need time.” He moves his hand on top of Connor’s and gives it a light squeeze. “And besides, what’s wrong with my apartment?”

The small joke is enough to break the tension — for now, at least. Connor knows better than to keep picking at it, and the knot in his stomach loosens a bit.

- - -

“It’s not going supposed to be easy. It’s still a relationship.” Michaela adjusts the pillows on the couch and frowns. “Give and take is still part of the package.”

“But I thought that was the whole point of soulmates! What makes it any different than any other relationship, then?” Connor steps out of the way as Michaela moves past him to the end table and starts flipping through the envelopes.

“Throw these away.” She hands him the whole stack after a moment but continues to talk as Connor makes his way to the kitchen to toss it. “What makes it different is that you’re inherently compatible. That if you both put work into it and nurture it that you’re guaranteed to succeed. And that your souls are connected, which you shouldn’t discount – especially considering how that worked out for you last time.”

Connor comes back and collapses on the couch with a groan. “Can’t something be easy, just for once?”

“Get up!” Michaela turns around and frowns. “I just fixed those.”

“I can get the cushions, Michaela.” He sighs and stands back up, fluffing the cushions before setting them back in place. “Besides, won’t people be sitting when they get here?”

“I thought you came here to help me clean.”

“It was all a ruse to talk about Oliver.”

“Isn’t it always?” She disappears into the hallway for a moment and comes back with a Swiffer. “Please just make yourself useful if you have it in you.”

Connor frowns and starts making work of cleaning her floors. “I don’t know what to do. It’s been seven months, and they still have me working almost twelve hours a day.”

“Tegan says—”

“Oh, here we go with the ‘Tegan says…’” When he turns around and sees Michaela’s withering look, he gives an apologetic half-smile. “Okay, fine, what does Tegan say?”

“Never mind what she says.”

“Oh, don’t do that.”

“Connor, I’m just saying that you need to make some choices and find ways to make that balance happen. No one but you can do that for you.”

“You sound like my astrology app. ‘As Mercury goes into retrograde, beware not to complicate your relationship. Don't get caught up in—'” A pillow whacks him in the face, cutting him off. “Hey! What will your guests think if your couch cushion is on the floor? What kind of a housewarming party would that be?” Although he smirks, he sees Michaela grab another cushion and ducks before that one can hit him too.

- - -

“What do you have against the new place?” Oliver asks. “I think it’s cozy.”

“Don’t do that. Don’t say cozy. That’s code-word for small.”

“That’s not how I meant it.”

Connor looks around the boxes and frowns. There’s so much to do, and after several hours of moving, he just wants to lay on the ground. Instead, he turns to Oliver and says, “Thanks for helping.”

“I never thought I’d see the day when Connor Walsh got his hands dirty.”

“Don’t count on seeing it again anytime soon.” Connor knows better than to say anything, but before he can stop himself, his mouth opens. “If we had moved in together, we could have kept the two-bedroom. One of those could have been an office space and guest room.”

Oliver presses his lips together in a tight smile. “It’s just not time yet.”

“You moved in with Matt pretty quickly.”

“Yeah and look how that turned out for us.” He steps forward and kisses Connor’s cheek. “I love you. I do. You just have to have faith.”

Connor knows that he’s not so good at that, as much as he hates to admit it. Faith has never been his strong suit. It’s a large chunk of the reason why he’s been agnostic, despite being raised Catholic – and agnostic not atheist, since he can’t even find the faith in him to not believe in a God fully. But the look in Oliver’s eyes tells him not to push it. He has enough lately, and considering that Oliver didn’t budge before, Connor knows he won’t now.

“Okay, fine. I’m just saying that you don’t need to be cautious with me. I’m not going to disappoint you.”

Something in Oliver’s face stiffens. His eyes become a little glassy, and his cheeks tense. It’s subtle, but Connor doesn’t miss it, and it feels like a punch to the gut.

- - -

“He doesn’t trust me,” Connor whines, throwing back another shot. “It’s been almost a year since we got together, and he doesn’t trust me.”

“Yeah, well, you’re kind of an ass, and you were really an ass to him, so I can’t really blame him.”

Connor isn’t entirely sure why he agreed to meet Laurel at the bar for drinks. Pep talks have never been her strong suit, and Connor isn’t sure if he’d even categorize her as a friend. They only ever spend time together around Michaela.

“What?” Laurel asks.

“I get that I fucked up, but c’mon. I’ve been trying. You can’t say that I haven’t been trying.”

“You’ve ben trying. I just think that’s not always enough.”

“How are things with Kan?” he asks, trying to change topic.

“We broke up.” She grabs her gin and tonic and takes a large sip. “About two weeks ago, actually.”

“Shit, I’m so sorry. What happened?” He flags the bartender and turns to look back at her.

“Nothing. Just didn’t work out the way we wanted it to. I’ve been pretty busy, and I’ve had some family shit lately anyway.”

“Sorry to hear that.”

Laurel takes another swig of her drink and waves her hand dismissively, but Connor can tell there’s more than she wants to share. Before he can ask another question, the bartender comes over.

“What can I get for you two?”

“An Old Fashioned, and—” He looks at Laurel, who finishes her gin and tonic with one more gulp.

“Whiskey Sour,” she says.

“Coming right up.” The bartender looks Connor up and down and smirks before disappearing.

“Well, if things don’t work out with Oliver, it seems like you might have some options.” She elbows Connor, and Connor rolls his eyes.

- - -

Connor (7:09) Sorry I’m running late. I should be there in five.

Oliver (7:11) Ok.

Connor (7:11) Don’t okay me. Are your parents with you?

Oliver (7:13) We got here fifteen minutes ago.

Connor (7:14) Ah shit. Sorry. I’m right around the corner. Please don’t be mad.

Connor tucks his phone into his jacket pocket and smooths down his hair before walking in. He spots Oliver and his parents before the maître d’ approaches him and tells her before walking over and trying to steady his breathing. A quick glance at his watch tells him it’s 7:17.

Oliver stands up as soon as he sees them and smiles anxiously. “Here he is.”

Connor’s heart beats in his throat as he stretches out his hand. “Pleasure to meet you, Mr. and Mrs. Hampton.”

“Oh, you can call me Lisa,” she says, beaming at him as she shakes his hand.

“And you can call me Mr. Hampton,” Oliver’s father says, laughing at his own joke. “Kidding, of course. You can call me William.”

“Dad…”

“Well, it’s nice to meet you both,” Connor says, offering one last smile before sitting down next to Oliver. Underneath the table, Oliver reaches out and squeezes his hand.

“It’s been a while since we’ve met one of Oliver’s boyfriends. But we’re told you’re special,” Lisa says, meeting her husband’s eye before looking back at them. Oliver lets go of Connor’s hand, and Connor doesn’t have to look to know that he’s blushing.

“When he told me you were coming to visit, I didn’t give him much of an option,” Connor teases. “I just made sure to book a reservation.”

“You know, we tried to get a reservation here last time we came, and we saw how fast it fills up,” Williams says.

They make it through dinner without any hiccups, and by the time they order dessert, Connor feels mostly at ease. That ease, however, evaporates with one question from Lisa.

“So, have you considered any next steps?” The implication is clear, even though she doesn’t say it. Connor sees the color drain from Oliver’s face, and he’s sure his looks the same.

“You don’t need to answer that,” Oliver says before shooting a frantic look at both of them. Lisa smiles, but her expression is hard to read.

“I just want to know that my son is being taken care of.”

“I am!” Oliver insists, and when he starts tapping against the table, Connor lays his hand on top of Oliver’s.

“I think we’re trying to take things one step at a time after everything.” He knows that Oliver’s parents know about what happened. He had made sure to ask Oliver ahead of time. He can feel the anxiety bubbling up in the pit of his stomach at the mention nonetheless.

When Lisa doesn’t say anything for a moment, Oliver breaks the silence. “It’s not because of him. I’m trying to take it slow.”

Connor wishes it were possible to sink into the ground. He imagines the chair getting lower until the floor swallows him whole and tries to avoid thinking about how unbelievably hot his face feels.

“We shouldn’t have asked,” Lisa says after a moment, her voice softer than it was moments before. “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine.” Connor clears his throat and puts on a smile that he hopes looks more real than it feels. “I’m sure you’d be the first people that Oliver would tell.”

“You know, when Oliver was little, he would ask us to tell him the color of everything in the house. He’d memorize it all, and when we’d have people over, he’d try to tell people that he had met his soulmate. When they’d laugh, he’d tell them they could ask him the color of anything in the house.” She smiles apologetically.

The waitress comes up before anyone can say anything, and Connor feels grateful for the interruption.

The rest of dinner passes smoothly, and despite minor protests, Connor manages to pay for the check. Oliver kisses his parents good night, and this time, Connor gets a hug from them both before they say goodnight.

“Well, that went mostly well,” Connor says. “You know, outside of wanting to die for a brief second there.”

“You were also late.” Oliver shakes his head and presses a kiss to Connor’s cheek. “I had to stall for you.”

“Your mom tried to ask us when we were going to get married, and you’re mad that I was fifteen minutes late?” Connor wraps his arm around Oliver. “You’re lucky that I love you.” As he sighs, he feels the tension start to leave his body. “So, Lisa said I was the first guy she’d met in a while. Matt didn’t make the cut?”

Oliver pushes his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “It was complicated.”

“How so?”

“Well, you see, there was this guy I was also interested in and was hoping things might work out, but he was a bit of a jackass.” He gives Connor a lopsided grin before pulling out of reach.

“And did they?” He feels a strange flutter in his stomach.

“I’m still figuring that out, but I’ll get back to you soon.”

- - -

“She asked you when you were going to get married? And I thought meeting Aiden’s parents was terrifying,” Michaela says. She turns to look at Aiden. “Sorry.”

“No need to apologize,” Aiden calls from the kitchen. He comes out after a moment carrying a Dutch oven. “Coq au vin’s ready. When will the others be here?”

“Soon,” Michaela says. “Connor, help me set the table.”

“Hey, I brought a pie. I did my share.”

“You’re insufferable. Help me set the table.” She gets up and heads toward the kitchen, and Connor catches Aiden’s smirk.

He follows her and grabs the silverware and napkins that she hands him. “So why isn’t Oliver joining us today?” she asks. “Laurel’s bringing her new boyfriend, and I think even Wes might be bringing Rebecca and Lila.” Her nose scrunches as she says it. She’s always erred on the traditional side.

“It’s a friend’s birthday, but he might drop by after he leaves the bar. He said he was going to text me. He was pretty upset about it when he smelled the pie, and I told him that he couldn’t have any.” Connor laughs and moves back to the living room to start setting the table.

Michaela follows shortly with plates.

“He knows he’s always welcome.”

“Sometimes I think you like him better than me.”

“You better be careful what you say, Con,” Aiden says, placing the bread that Connor brought on the table beside the Brussels sprouts. “I think she might.”

They all make their way back to the kitchen to grab glasses. “So what did you say when she asked if you were going to get married?” Michaela asks.

“Oliver said that it’s because of him. That he wants to take it slowly. And I wanted to die because his mom knows what happened between us, so I’m sure that’s probably why she asked.” He sees Michaela open her mouth and cuts her off preemptively. “And before you give me your spiel about how I deserve it and blah, blah, blah – I know. It was still horrible.”

“As long as you know,” Michaela says, handing him three glasses.

- - -

“I’m surprised you didn’t have anything elaborate planned for your birthday,” Oliver says, stretching as he pauses in front of the bed. Connor props himself up and wraps his arms around Oliver, tugging him back down.

“It’s on a Saturday this year, so I just wanted to stay in. Enjoy my day off. What fun is going out when you and I could spend the whole day—” His hand runs down to the front of Oliver’s boxer briefs, and Oliver swats it away.

“Hey! A gentleman always asks.”

Connor rolls his eyes. “May I fuck you, Daddy?” He throws the last bit in as a joke and gets a well-earned look of disgust from Oliver.

“Don’t be gross. But maybe. You’ll have to work for it, though.” With that, he jumps up and runs out of the room. They chase each other around until Connor pulls him down onto the couch and falls on top of him.

They pant for a moment, their noses touching before Oliver bridges the gap and kisses him. Perhaps Oliver tastes of morning breath even though he can’t taste it. He’s sure he does, but since both of them do, he feels like it cancels out.

He runs his thumb up Oliver’s jaw to just behind his ear, and Oliver rolls Connor’s lower lip between his teeth. It’s messy, but Connor can feel Oliver’s cock pressing against his thigh, half-hard, and he can’t find it in himself to care.

His hand drops down again, and he tugs at the elastic as Oliver lifts his hips. They make short work of it, and he tosses Oliver’s underwear to the side before kissing his way down. Oliver whines as he makes it to his hips and pushes upwards, and when Connor laughs, he can’t help but notice the way that Oliver squirms, restless.

“Are you going to blow me, or are you just going to tease?” Oliver asks. His cock strains against his stomach, leaking and red.

“Who’s birthday is it?” Connor asks.

A small whimper leaves Oliver’s hips as he pushes down against the couch. “Yours.”

“And yet you’re making demands like it’s yours.” He presses a kiss to the head, and his breath catches in his throat as he watches Oliver’s face flush.

They wind up back in the bed after Oliver comes, and somehow Connor ends up on all fours, clutching the headboard and rocking as Oliver’s tongue presses in, and his hands runs up and down his cock. It doesn’t take long for him to come as well, and he barely can find the energy to clean himself and the sheets up before collapsing.

Oliver follows suit, and drift in and out, legs tangled together. When Connor wakes up, Oliver is at the desk typing. He watches for as long as he can, taking in all the small things that Oliver does when he doesn’t feel he’s being watched – the way he mouths his words when he rereads his sentences and the hand he places at the back of his neck, rubbing small circles as he thinks.

“You really aren’t attentive, are you?” Connor asks, and Oliver jumps, taken out of his trance.

“Sorry, catching up on some work. I’m surprised you don’t have to today. If you keep it up, this may be the first time I’ve seen you go a full twenty-four hours without it since we started dating.” He turns his chair to face Connor.

“It is my birthday, after all.”

“You worked on Christmas.”

Connor waves the comment away dismissively before sitting himself up and yawning. “I’m pretty hungry. Do you want to order something?”

“I ordered food already. I was planning on waking you when it came.”

“Well, if you don’t already know it, you should know that you’re amazing.”

“I do, but I don’t mind hearing it again.” His eyes run down Connor as Connor stands up and walks over.

“You’re amazing,” Connor repeats. His eyes close as he wraps his arms around Oliver, and he lets out a content hum. His apartment feels quiet, and he’s not sure when he’s last felt this calm, this warm.

“I have presents for you. Do you want them now or after lunch?”

“How about now?” Connor asks.

“Let me go get them. They’re in my coat.” Oliver motions to the living room, and Connor makes his way to the bathroom to wash his face and brush his teeth. By the time he’s done, Oliver is patiently waiting on the bed, an envelope and a small box placed neatly in front of him.

“You better not be proposing to me with that thing.”

“Oh, shut it.” Oliver rolls his eyes and pushes them forward. “Open the bigger envelope first and then the box.” Connor sits on the edge of the bed and carefully opens the envelope, trying his best not to make a torn mess. It’s halfway open when Connor can see that they’re tickets.

He fishes them out and lets out a whoop. “Future Islands?”

“You know I had to.”

“Well, thank you.” Connor leans forward and kisses him. “I’m intrigued and terrified what’s in the box. I’m assuming you’re not saving the worse present for last.” He grins and tears the wrapping paper off of the box. The small white box looks unassuming, as if it should have jewelry in it, and Connor gives it a light shake. “Am I going to break it?”

“Probably not?”

“So mysterious,” Connor says, tutting and shaking his head before taking the lid off.

The silver key to Oliver’s front door rests on top of an index card. His head spins as he takes the note out and reads the message.

Connor Walsh, will you move in with me?

[maraschinocheri]

A novel no one needed on the Les Mis filmed concert: 1,800+ words of stuff and nonsense.

The first thing that jumps into my head is that I am so glad the concert run is over, and the second is that it’s a very strange feeling when the strongest vocal performances on stage seemed to belong to Enjolras, Eponine, and … Cosette. But let’s get the rest of it all over with first.

• Alfie Boe’s acting has improved since he last played Valjean, thankfully, but good lord, he really needs to not get involved in any even moderately extended run of anything, because he clearly cannot hack it physically or vocally. And while it may seem churlish to say so, I am so bored of his Valjean. Warble warble warble, seeming so out of place with everyone else’s voices, and just. Enough. He looked lovely, of course, and I’m sure his fans truly enjoyed this repeat of him in the role, when … he was actually there, but he sounded absolutely exhausted. I’m afraid I spent a lot of his performance wishing I were watching JOJ on film instead.

• Michael Ball’s mention during the encore that this was his last performance as Javert seems a fair thing; he is not—and never was— meant for this role on any level (I maintain he has all the threatening menace of Snidely Whiplash), though Stars was not bad, especially because he left himself, you know, sing and not bark or growl or spend so much damn time and energy trying to not be *~MICHAEL BALL~*. The gritted teeth “m’sieur! mayor!” was just a boring choice, the Confrontation was a muddy mess, the Intervention played too much for comic effect (though MASSIVE POINTS for bringing back the original why the hell did he run? instead of why on earth did he run?), the barricade scenes had too little punch, the Sewers had so much potential that disappeared, but … 

But. While Ball’s is not my preferred style of Javert and never could be, I have to take a deep breath and blinkingly applaud his wild leaping commitment to batshittery in the Suicide. I mean, if you’re going for full on batshit at that point, you have to really sell it, and with any luck make it a different range of batshit than previous batshit Javerts, and he did. My dad, the sole member of my family not much prone to show commentary, said “That was excellent.” firmly after the Suicide, and a part of me grudgingly agreed. But please, never again, Michael. Honestly I think he’s relieved it’s done.

(Also honestly, the most amusing moment of the entire concert experience for me was my mother’s interval exclamation that she had “a new boyfriend!” Assuming she meant Bwadders, I laughed and asked oh really, who? And she said … Javert. After I recovered myself, I reminded her that Javert was Michael. Ball., who has been at one stage or another my—and everyone else’s—mother’s boyfriend since 1985. She had entirely forgotten he was playing Javert in the concert and was bizarrely fooled by wig and costume, but assured me that even now, she “could swim in his dimples.” My mother, everyone.)

• Shan Ako was a marvelous Eponine, and I loved her On My Own. She’ll be great fun to watch in the actual production, I think, and I so appreciated a tough cookie Eponine with old school vocal power but newer school technique and touch and oh my god subtlety without losing anything in characterization, even given the limitations of a concert performance. Houchen’s Marius wouldn’t have deserved her, anyway.

• Speaking of Houchen. You know, I was fond of Rob while he was in his actual run as Marius, but he’s absolutely checked out of it mentally and emotionally, and it shows. He still has a lovely voice that really works as Marius sometimes, but there’s nothing … there underneath the pretty sheen, and after the few years’ distance since his proper run, I’ve seen enough Marii who enjoyed the role and found substance in it that the lack of depth in Rob’s take was disappointing. However, I acknowledge that some of Marius’ actual-show chances of showing range don’t happen in the concert version, and perhaps if they’d been included my opinion would change. He knows he’s aged out the role now, however, and I highly doubt he’d ever want to do it again even if invited to do so. But who knows.

• I walked into the concert film with no opinion of Lily Kerhoas’ Cosette other than knowing she could sing it beautifully, but I was actually impressed—and sort of want to sit nearly every principal Cosette of the last, oh, decade in front of her performance and say, see you’re allowed to act; it can actually work—and I look forward to her work in the proper show as well, especially if they get her some costumes that actually fit and don’t look made of tissue.

• God, I hate Matt Lucas. The end.

• Katy Secombe has added some different touches to her Madame T, some good, and some—obviously Lucas-influenced—bad. It’s unfortunate that some of the Thenardier ~comedy absolutely cannot work in a concert setting—the wedding was awful—but she made a decent hash of a bad deal.

• Which brings me to Bwadders. Oh, Bradley. He’s just so very, very good at Enjolras, and always has been. This concert!jolras, however, had one very different vibe from his run’s take on the role, which was … a hopefulness, maybe? A joy and breathless hope running beneath the passion passion PASSION that’s always been there, and it was beautiful to watch in his eyes and mannerisms. The concert contained Bradley somewhat, in that his strong physicality wasn’t allowed to sort of fill the room (and barricade) as it had at the Queens, and I missed that. Also—and there is no getting around this, sadly, for me—that manbun still ain’t it. (Gingerfather—whose fave character in the show is Enjolras—just sighed heavily and said that there should’ve just been one of the Ponytails of Yore instead, and you know, he’s not wrong.) Bradley also nailed two of the three Big Notes, but his until the earth is free was done differently from how he approached it during his real run, and not for the better (the Ghost of THAXTON giveth, and it taketh away). And yet … it didn’t matter. It truly didn’t. He was the best of the principals, and at least for me would probably have been even if he’d bollocked the other two Big Notes as well. Anyway, Bwadders. A thrill to watch, and alive with energy so much of the show otherwise lacked.

• You will note no mention yet of Fletcher. I refer to the point above re: Matt Lucas.

• The Amis, as one. I am aware that many, many people adore Raymond Walsh’s Grantaire, and I entirely understand why. He was fine. Craig Mather’s Combeferre and Niall Sheehy’s Courfeyrac both allowed both actors to show off some real oomph in their voices, though I’m still much too rattled by a Courfeyrac wearing Joly’s clothes. I love Vinny Coyle because he’s just so obviously, thrillingly in love with the show, but he’s also a fabulous Feuilly, and I merrily handwave the not-so-great we’ll be therrrre because a) it’s a horrendous note few people can carry well, and b) I’ve seen and heard him do it brilliantly so many other times when he was covering Feuilly as a swing. And it was delicious to see Will Jennings as a background onstage SwingAmi. Everyone else was just sort of … there, though all very pretty. It was extremely clear who had been in casts properly educated and invested in the show, but that’s a record I’ve played enough.

• I will never not love seeing Sarah Lark, Jo Loxton, and Tamsin Dowsett. I also deeply appreciate seeing Oli Brenin doing everything, everywhere, all the time.

• It is never not wonderful seeing Earl Carpenter bishoping, but my god EARL WHAT EVEN with that Bamatabois. What even. There was active squeaky recoiling happening in my row.

• Gavroche was excellent and adorable and GINGER. Full marks.

• And so to the encores. The only point I could see to the coat handover from Michael to Bradley was to give Michael a Moment along the lines of the Valjeanfest, as it’s not like the role of Javert is new to Bradley. However, I was fascinated by the strangeness of the harmonized Stars, and I think I need to watch and listen to it again about a thousand times to really confirm my proper opinion. I know Bradley doesn’t sing Stars that high for real—and certainly doesn’t need to—and what they did here doesn’t really … show his approach to the role, but it was interesting, and I give them credit for the try. (I did attempt to imagine others—let’s be real, I was imagining THAXTON—even being asked to make a go of this, and my imagined Thaxtonic response will make for excellent nightmare fuel.)

• Then, then, then. All Valjeans all the time, including some Potato in a tour costume that still has me hissing at its wrongness. Anyway! Leaving aside Alfie—whose section just really sounded like jesus christ I cannot believe I have to do this again; I just want to lie down for a thousand years and block Cameron’s number from any further contact with me put to music—I found the whole thing much more palatable than the 25th anniversary Valjeanfest, perhaps mostly because of my fave part of the whole concert—the whole two lines JOJ and Killian shared—but also because the four Valjeans not actively praying for their own deaths all seemed to have physical, emotional, and vocal respect for the role, the show, the audience, and each other. It was a strange joy to watch.

Which, truly, this concert was as well, in enough places to ensure that I will buy the inevitable DVD. On some occasions I may even start its playback before Look Down (Paris). Maybe.

(One more small thought, though, on this concert and why I am glad it’s over: I know the run sparked a lot of joy for a lot of people, but if I saw one more bitchy tweet from the cast members I might have screamed. Are some audience members dickheads? Absolutely. Then enforce the fucking rules. Train and allow your FOH to go after those people (and force the management to back the FOH staff up!), remove them, throw one of the old pest catcher boxes from under the Queens seats at them, whatever. But shut up. I don’t even follow any of the whingers I saw! Twitter just enjoyed throwing their tweets into my feed like a toddler’s wall-splattering food. #blessed)

Anyway. That’s that done. The show’s world turns, though obviously it no longer revolves.

[girl-of-many-fandoms]

Got tagged by the lovely @sketch-and-write-lover, thanks for that hun 💕

Note that I've been so hung up on both Marvel & TWD

====

10. Stitches // 11 (Frank Castle x Reader) MARVEL

“Maybe you should get out of here, all of you should get far away.”

“Well would you look at that, little red riding hood has come to his senses.”

“Frank.”

The five of us were standing at the waterfront in the middle of the night, Amy was passed out in the backseat of the truck. Frank scoffed, stuffing his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, he wanted nothing more than to take Matt’s cane and stick it up his ass.

9. Sweet Angel (Deacon Kay x Reader) S.W.A.T.

“Honey, have you seen Leo’s favourite rattle?” gripping onto the kitchen sink I doubled over in pain, unable to make a sound from the stabbing pain in my abdomen. Deacon’s large hand rested on the small of my back as he caught me before I could hit the deck.

8. Stitches // 10 (Frank Castle x Reader) MARVEL

1:45am

Those angry red numbers casted a glow in the room which only added to my frustration. With one quick look over to the empty spot next to me in bed, I flung the blanket off of me as I got out of bed. I couldn’t sleep just like last night and the night before that, all because Frank refuses to sleep next to me; hell, he’s not even speaking to me other than a one word response to anything I asked or said to him.

7. Wrong Name // 2 (Shane Walsh x Reader) TWD

“I’m pregnant.”

“I know, I saw the signs.”

Lori and I are currently handwashing everyone’s clothes in the tub far away from the rest of the group. For a week straight I watched her run away to vomit and I noticed her boobs had grown out some more but who was I to point those things out to the woman that slept with my husband?

6. Stitches // 9 (Frank Castle x Reader) MARVEL

“What’s going on?” Frank was holding Amy as she cried which boggled my mind even further. I barely left them alone for twenty minutes and she’s crying.

“What did you do?” Frank glared at me as I plopped down on the adjacent chair, Amy pulled away from him, dabbing away her tears; her sniffles filling the room as she sat upright.

“I didn’t do anything, your friend and his saint-like decision making is behind this.”

5. Stitches // 8 (Frank Castle x Reader) MARVEL

Stepping into the empty boxing gym I was met with a sweaty, shirtless Frank Castle who is currently abusing the poor punching bag with his deadly punches. My heels hitting the concrete floor could barely be heard as he overpowered it with each strike he landed on the bag.

"You told me to meet you here after work to watch you break a sweat?" Breaking out of his zone, Frank turned to face me shooting me a soft smile. Abandoning the punching bag he came over to me, planting a chased kiss on my lips.

"As fun as that might sound to you, I told you to meet me here for a reason." he held onto the straps of my purse and slid it down my arm, successfully removing it from my person as he guided me to the bench which had his gym bag.

4. "You're my MJ." (TASM Peter Parker x Reader) MARVEL

"I'm going to press it" MJ stated, her eyes locked on the magic box that can return the multiple intruders locked up in the basement of the sanctum.

"You can't just do that, Peter hasn't reached out yet"

"Just give him a little more time"

3. Something New (Rick Grimes x Reader) TWD

"What are you doing up Grimes?"

"Can't sleep, I was about to take a walk when you turned in your sleep."

"Want to talk about what's keeping you up?" I adjusted the way I was seated, turning to face him with my legs crisscrossed beneath me. He shook his head not wanting to do that, choosing to watch the blank television screen ahead.

2. Wrong Name // 1 (Shane Walsh x Reader) TWD

"Shane!"

I was close to my much needed climax, my devishly handsome husband kept thrusting upwards into me, his hands gripping onto my hips. He nibbled and sucked on my neck as we fucked in the driver's seat of the hyundai tuscon.

"Fuck Lori"

And just like that, whatever I was feeling disappeared. Wordlessly I got off of his lap and got back into the passenger's seat, rushing to pull my underwear and jeans back up my legs.

1. Stitches // 7 (Frank Castle x Reader) MARVEL

Rolling over my eyes slowly fluttered open as I adjusted to the stream of sunlight that lit up the bedroom. A smile played on my lips at the sight of the man sleeping next to me, Frank was sleeping soundly on his stomach leaving his broad muscular shoulders for me to wake up to. His obnoxious snoring bounced off the four walls, that was one thing I definitely did not miss after he left.

====

I've noticed that I like to start my stories either in the smack dab of a dramatic scene or in a much calmer settings and I like to be very descriptive so that it's much easier for my readers to get a clearer picture of what's going on in the fics.

Tagging: NO PRESSURE! @positive-squid @rickgrimeswifey @aaronhotchnerfics and anyone that would like to add their own! 🤍

First-Lines tag!

Thank you @blairsanne for tagging me! This was fun!

Rules: List the first lines of the last ten (10) stories you published. Look to see any patterns you notice yourself, and see if anyone else notices any. Then tag some friends. a first-lines meme!

Mine are all going to be from the 30 days of fics most likely…

1. Day 16: Meteor Showers (Bilbo x Reader)

The biting winter evening breeze didn’t stop Bilbo from tugging you up the hill, a childish grin on his features as you held your blanket firmly in your grasp, your other hand intertwined with Bilbo’s.

2. Day 15: First Love (Balin x Reader)

“And what about you?” Asked Bilbo, drawing Balin’s attention away from the fire. “What was your first love experience like, Master Balin?”

3. Day 14: Beneath The Moonlight (Legolas x Reader)

The grass was lush beneath your back, still slightly warm from the day it has spent beneath the rays of sunlight.

4. Day 13: Candles (Smaug x Reader)

Smaug huffed through his nose, a plume of smoke escaping him as he looked around the setup he managed to put together.

5. Day 12: Sunrise (Thorin x Reader)

The feeling of warm caresses was the first thing you comprehended as you began to come back from the land of the unconscious, your eyes fluttering as Thorin stroked your cheek soothingly.

6. Day 11: Habits (Elrond x Reader)

It was like a puzzle coming together, you and Elrond, you noted mentally as muscle memory took over once you got to his study.

7. Day 10: Burning For You (Thranduil x Reader)

“You’re too sweet to me, you know,” You hummed as you looked over the lunch that Thranduil had the chefs prepare for the two of you.

8. Day 10: Scent (Beorn x Reader)

“Bear, what’re you doing?” Was the first thing that slipped from your lips as you awoke, feeling the skin-changer tug you closer while your eyes remained slipped shut in a small effort to cling onto the sleep you so desperately wanted to fall back into, the rumble of Beorn’s chest against your back being all the reply you received.

8. Day 9: Sweets (Ori x Reader)

Humming to yourself, you spun to grab a spatula before returning to your mixing bowls.

9. Good Graces (Thorin x Reader)

“Hey, let us out of here!”

“Get off me!”

The voices of the Company overwhelmed your ears as you were all shoved into cells by the Elven guards. With sickly spiders, cursed waters, sore shoulders, and a growing headache, you decided to take this as a moment of peace to sit down undisturbed, leaning against the cool stone.

10. Day 8: New Buds (Legolas x Reader)

It was day twenty of Legolas’ courtship with you, and every day he couldn’t help but stress as he took care of the plant you first presented him at the beginning of this phase of your courtship.

I’ve noticed I start my stories right smack-dab in the middle of a scene, whether it’s starting off with dialogue or remarks about the setting, there’s not a real “beginning” which I find neat.

I shall do no pressure tags for: @ladylouoflothlorien @fizzyxcustard @legolaslovely @deepestfirefun @sketch-and-write-lover and whoever else would like to participate!

[cinema-tv-etc]

36 Famous Actors Who’ve Guest-Starred on ‘The Good Wife’

By Rebecca Strassberg | Posted Oct. 16, 2014,

36 Famous Actors Who’ve Guest-Starred on ‘The Good Wife’ Photo Source: Craig Blankenhorn/CBS

Starring Julianna Margulies, Matt Czuchry, Christine Baranski, and others, “The Good Wife” has been one of the smartest, most well-crafted shows on network television since 2009.

While several famous actors have appeared in small roles on the show (Michael J. Fox and Nathan Lane among them), we’re looking at the actors who’ve surprised us with their roles as lawyers, criminals, judges, and the likes.

Who’s been your favorite “Good Wife” guest star? (If you don’t have one, that’s fine. But if you don’t have one because you don’t watch “The Good Wife,” call in sick tomorrow and get started!)

Matthew Perry The “Friends” star had a small arc during the show’s third and fourth seasons as Mike Kresteva, who runs again Peter (Chris Noth) for Illinois governor, and who Peter epically punches in the face.

David M. Russell/CBS

Jonathan Groff The former Backstage cover star and “Looking” actor graced “The Good Wife” on the Season 3 episode “Live from Damascus.” Jonathan Groff plays Jimmy Fellner, the brother of a girl who was captured while studying Arabic in Syria.

Laura Benanti On the Season 5 episode “Tying the Knot,” Tony winner Laura Benanti plays Renata Ellard, the most recent lover of “The Good Wife’s” most devious killer, Colin Sweeney. When Alicia (Julianna Margulies) stops by the lovebirds’ engagement party to get legal papers signed, she finds herself at a murder scene again, and Benanti is not as sweet and innocent as she seems.

Martha Plimpton Though Martha Plimpton is a recurring character, she’s just too hysterical to ignore. As defense attorney Patti Nyholm, Plimpton uses her character’s pregnancy and motherhood as a tactic for delaying hearings, being late, etc. Plimpton took home an Emmy in 2009 for outstanding guest actress in a drama series for the role.

Rita Wilson Rita Wilson pops up every once in a while as Viola Walsh, a competing defense lawyer and acquaintance of Diane’s (Christine Baranski). And when Walsh’s character comes into town from California, you know there’s gonna be trouble.

Jeff Neira/CBS

Kelli Giddish The “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit” actor guest stars on four episodes of the show as Sophia Russo, a private sector investigator who’s romantically involved with Kalinda (Archie Panjabi).

Nestor Carbonell In the Season 5 episode “The Deep Web,” Nestor Carbonell plays a flirtatious juror with whom Alicia later goes out to lunch.

Aaron Tveit The “Graceland” actor took his turn on “The Good Wife,” as lawyer Spencer Zschau in the Season 3 episode “Executive Order 13224.”

Audra McDonald Six-time Tony winner Audra McDonald play Liz Lawrence on the Season 4 episode “Runnin’ with the Devil.” As Alicia’s law school nemesis, McDonald’s character goes up against her in a case involving Lemond Bishop (Mike Colter).

David M. Russell/CBS

Linda Emond This two-time Tony nominee appears in three episodes of “The Good Wife” (thus far) as Judge Leora Kuhn, a military judge whom Alicia argues in front of, and later helps on a case.

Kate Burton The “Scandal” and “Grey’s Anatomy” actor portrays Chief Justice of Illinois Victoria Adler who respects Diane deeply and tries to help her become a judge, though she later retracts the offer.

America Ferrera The actor formerly known as Ugly Betty appears in four episodes as Natalie Flores, a college student who worked for Peter’s state’s attorney opponent Wendy Scott-Carr (Anika Noni Rose). When Eli (Alan Cumming) tries to expose her as an illegal immigrant, he finds something attractive in her instead. The whole unrequited love situation brings out the surprisingly endearing side of Eli.

JP Filo

Parker Posey Parker Posey plays Eli’s ex-wife for three episodes throughout Season 3. The “House of Yes” actor is a perfect match to Eli, making us wish the two would rekindle their love.

Amy Sedaris Amy Sedaris licks whipped cream off of Alan Cumming’s fingers. And yes, you read that correctly. Sedaris plays Stacie Hall for three episodes during Season 3, a lobbyist who appears to be Eli’s match. However, when she becomes his ex-wife’s campaign manager, her manipulative (and sexual) tricks are too powerful for Eli to fight.

Bebe Neuwirth What kind of show would “The Good Wife” be without a Bebe Neuwirth guest role? The two-time Emmy winner plays one of the many judges we see our favorite defense attorneys argue in front of.

David M. Russell/CBS

F. Murray Abraham Most recently seen in Wes Anderson’s “The Grand Budapest Hotel” and on “Homeland,” F. Murray Abraham plays Burl Preston on “The Good Wife,” a big shot lawyer from Los Angeles.

Lisa Edelstein The “House” actor appears in three episodes of “The Good Wife” including “Get a Room,” “Feed the Rat,” and “Marthas and Caitlins.”

Eric Bogosian Eric Bogosian spends three episodes on the show in Season 5 as an agent with the Office of Public integrity who’s determined to prove someone rigged Peter’s election for governor of Illinois.

CBS

Gillian Jacobs The “Community” star guest-starred on “The Good Wife” before the Emmy noms and critical acclaim. Gillian Jacobs plays Sonia on the pilot episode!

Jerry Stiller The “King of Queens” actor made an appearance as one of the show’s many judges. (Among them are Denise O’Hare, David Paymer, Peter Riegert, and Jeffrey Tambor, to name a few.) Stiller plays Judge Felix Afterman on the Season 2 episode “Silver Bullet.”

Christina Ricci In the Season 4 episode “Anatomy of a Joke,” Christina Ricci plays Therese Dodd, a vulgar comedian who never apologizes for anything. When she gets sued for taking her top off on live TV (supposedly to perform a breast exam), the network decides to sue her for damages. However, the case is only made more difficult for Alicia and Cary (Matt Czuchry) when she can’t keep her potty mouth closed.

Sarah Silverman Most recently with a guest-starring role on “Masters of Sex,” Sarah Silverman was a “Good Wife” guest star as well. In a part so perfectly fitting with her unapologetic/often sexual stand-up routines, Silverman plays Stephanie Engler, a woman who runs a website that allows users to have affairs with random matches.

Jeff Neira/CBS

Lily Rabe The “American Horror Story” actor has a teeny, tiny role on “The Good Wife.” As Petra Moritz, a reporter first appearing in the show’s second season, Rabe’s role is the kind of quick take that makes you say, “Is that Lily Rabe?!?!”

Matt Letscher Currently recurring on “Castle” and “Boardwalk Empire,” Matt Letscher guest-starred on “The Good Wife” on the Season 2 episode “Two Courts.” Letscher plays former campaign manager Adam Boras who attempts to go over Eli’s head and bring Peter big cash donors to his cash-poor campaign.

Hunter Parrish In the Season 5 episode “Dramatics, Your Honor,’ Hunter Parrish plays…I…I can’t. This one’s too painful for any fan of the show to discuss. See why here.

Courtesy of CBS

Richard Kind Currently on Fox’s “Gotham,” Richard Kind first guest-starred in one of the most pivotal and nail-biting episodes of “The Good Wife” as Judge Alan Davies on the Season 5 episode, “The Next Day”; it’s the one after the shit hits the fan, as any “Good Wife” fan remembers.

Tracy Thoms Known for playing Joanne in “Rent,” Tracy Thoms appears on one episode of the show (Season 4’s “Runnin’ with the Devil”) as Lemond Bishop’s sister, Judy.

Corey Stoll Most recently seen in “This Is Where I Leave You,” the “House of Cards” actor plays Collin Grant in the second episode of “The Good Wife.”

Wallace Shawn Every so often, Wallace Shawn (“Toy Story”) pops up as Lemond Bishop’s (the biggest drug dealer in Chicago) personal (and most definitely crooked) attorney. Courtesy of CBS

Kyle MacLachlan In two Season 4 episodes, Kyle MacLachlan (“Twin Peaks” is coming back!) play Josh Perotti who has Eli on tape committing a felony regarding political donations. He and David LaGuardia (Hamish Linklater) offer to make Eli a deal if he wears a wire and gets Peter confessing to the crime as well.

Kristin Chenoweth As Peggy Byrne in two Season 4 episodes, this Tony winner is a political reporter who gets a bit too personal with her questions but is quick to quiet reporters when they dig into her personal life.

Jason Biggs Before his epic “Orange Is the New Black” comeback, Jason Biggs appeared on two episodes of “The Good Wife” as Dylan Stack in Seasons 3 and 4. He first posed as the lawyer for the creator of online currency Bitcoin, but it’s later discovered that he’s one of its three inventors.

David M. Russell/CBS

Miranda Cosgrove On the Season 2 episode “Bad Girls,” the actor formerly known as Carly Shay (“iCarly”), plays Alicia’s pop star client Sloan Burchfield who’s accused of attempted murder after allegedly driving drunk.

Tamara Tunie Amidst her 14 years playing Dr. Melinda Warner on “Law & Order: Special Victims Unit,” Tamara Tunie guest-starred on one Season 4 episode of the hit CBS show as Serafina Norvy where the lawyers battle a West Nile Virus case.

Bryce Pinkham Tony nominee for “A Gentleman’s Guide to Love and Murder” Bryce Pinkham plays Dr. Hanson on the Season 1 episode “Unplugged,” about a case involving the wife of a comatose musician.

Pablo Schreiber The “Orange Is the New Black” villain appears on the Season 2 episode “Ham Sandwich” as Gregory Mars. The episode follows Lemond Bishop’s divorce, Kalinda’s grand jury subpoena, and Peter’s campaign (The first one!).

[danvilledans]

Bench-clearing brawl at Dans Game

BY CHAD DARE cdare@dancomnews.com

Temperatures were already high on a hot, muggy night at Danville Stadium.

But, things got really hot in the fourth inning as both Danville manager Eric Coleman and Quincy manager Rick Fraire ignited a bench-clearing brawl.

Quincy, which scored 13 runs in the first two innings, held on for 13-8 victory over Danville in front of 478 fans on Bark in the Park 2.0 Night.

“It was one of those things that happen in baseball,’’ said Coleman of brawl. “It’s guys being competitive.’’

It started when Danville reliever Nicola Mislinski hit back-to-back guys to start the fourth inning. That prompted home plate umpire Lance Walsh to issue warnings to both teams.

“I came out of the dugout to ask a simple question, ‘why are you warning both teams?’,” Coleman said. “Their guy (Riley Pittman) start chirping at me and Rick comes charging down the line at me. He got up into my face and I wasn’t going to take that.’’

After few chest bumps between the two managers, the action escalated to pushing, shoving and a few punches that didn’t land as base umpire Augie Farwig attempted to separate the managers. Both teams came out of their dugouts, as Quincy assistant coach Matt Crook, a former standout at DACC, held back Pittman.

Once the dust had settled, both Coleman and Fraire, who was an assistant coach with the Dans in 2013, were ejected along with Pittman.

“We have each other’s backs. We’re a family,’’ Coleman said.

Unfortunately for Danville, the damage had already been done.

Quincy sent 22 batters to the plate in the first two innings against Danville starter Stewart Currie. The Gems scored 13 runs on 12 hits, including a pair of 3-run homers. Jimmy Huber’s blast capped the six-run first inning and Bailey Montgomery’s homer was part of a seven-run second.

“It was just two bad innings and with our pitch count rules we had to leave (Currie) out there,’’ Coleman said. “I hated to do it, but that’s baseball.’’

Mislinski and Cody Hawthorne actually combined for seven shutout innings, holding the Gems to just three hits during that stretch.

“I thought our guys that came in after Currie did a great job,’’ Coleman said. “We fought back, putting eight runs up and this is another night of double-digit hits.’’

After trailing by as much as 11 runs (13-2), the Dans nearly got the tying run to the plate in the ninth as they left the bases loaded. The comeback started in the bottom of the fourth with a line-drive solo homer to left by Blake Paugh.

“They came out and hit the ball really well,’’ Paugh said. “They basically ambushed us, but we hung in there and fought til the end.’’

The home run was the seventh this summer for Paugh and his second in as many nights.

“I’m seeing the ball pretty well,’’ he said. “I just have to keep putting good swings on good pitches.’’

Danville had double-digit hits for the third straight game and four of their last five.

“Offensively, we are starting to do the things we need to do,’’ Coleman said. “This was just one of those nights where we didn’t pitch it well.’’

Danville is back at home tonight with a 6:30 p.m. contest against the Terre Haute Rex.

Dans 7Gems 5

QUINCY — Trevor Talpas pitched 1.1 innings of shutout relief to pick up his first win this summer for the Dans.

Johnny Ray got the final four outs to pick up his second save.

Offensively, Kobe Kato and Trevor Minder, batting first and second, each finished with two hits as did Jacob Talamante, out of the No. 9 hole.

Gavin Dugas, who had missed 10 games going through the concussion protocol, went 1-for-5 with an RBI in his return.

Blake Paugh blasted his sixth home run of the season.

DANS ON DECK

Final score — Quincy Gems 13, Danville Dans 8

Key players — Shortstop Jimmy Huber went 3-for-6 with 5 RBIs for the Gems.

[kidsviral-blog]

Looks like CNN's Jim Acosta is going to do the drama queen thing another year

New Post has been published on https://kidsviral.info/looks-like-cnns-jim-acosta-is-going-to-do-the-drama-queen-thing-another-year/

Looks like CNN's Jim Acosta is going to do the drama queen thing another year

CNN and the Trump administration got off to a bad start last year when CNN’s White House correspondent soon learned that CNN wasn’t guaranteed to be called on at each press conference. Not long after, some of the front-row kids found they’d been literally moved to the back row when seating arrangements were revealed for a joint press conference with Romanian President Klaus Iohannis. CNN’s Jim Acosta called it “the equivalent of Siberia” and suggested it was retaliation for the network’s coverage. And then there were those off-camera press conferences — so Acosta took photos of his socks and posted those instead.

It looks like 2018 will bring plenty more anecdotes to the table as Acosta again takes on Sarah Huckabee Sanders, whom he tagged in a post-briefing tweet Wednesday afternoon.

Sad that @PressSec is starting New Year like much of last year… afraid to take questions from CNN

— Jim Acosta (@Acosta) January 3, 2018

If Acosta were looking for a sympathetic audience, he probably shouldn’t have chosen Twitter.

Aw … Jim's feelings are hurt. https://t.co/P8fBv9ymBS

— Rob Eno (@Robeno) January 3, 2018

"Afraid" 😂😂😂😂 https://t.co/ebVlBjEOR4

— jane doe (@justjudee) January 3, 2018

Yes, Jim. It's all about you. Everyone fears you. https://t.co/YipnSswNwc

— David Martosko (@dmartosko) January 4, 2018

Maybe if you'd stop acting like a petulant child she'd call on you. Just a thought, @Acosta. https://t.co/TEFSzuk9xL

— Joe Walsh (@WalshFreedom) January 3, 2018

Little boys should be seen not heard https://t.co/zV1rt1vjdv

— Russell Saunders (@RussellSaunder9) January 4, 2018

Afraid? Grow up and she might call on you… Put your big boy pants on, humble yourself and raise your hand. https://t.co/H3oHdUYSaZ

— Dave the optimist (@ZenMaster333) January 3, 2018

She's the press secretary, not a daycare worker. No one gets paid enough to explain things to this guy! https://t.co/e9ahomXqSF

— Kelsey (@kelscope) January 4, 2018

Jim no one is afraid of you, but many are sick of your false reporting, articles with made up sources, loaded questions, and willful blindness to facts. Do the world a favor and STFU https://t.co/c1Vtfaxh8E

— matt granville (@slayenemy909) January 3, 2018

.@Acosta Get the fuck over yourself and quit bitching you weren't picked today too bad so sad. https://t.co/1nUF7nZaP4

— Michael Moates (@mmoates) January 3, 2018

Imagine thinking you are so important that you have to get a question at WH press briefing. https://t.co/oFXRCy5voL

— Ross Johansen (@rossjohansen) January 3, 2018

She's not "afraid" to take questions from CNN, she knows darn well that you people aren't worth the trouble. When you start reporting the truth, maybe things will change. https://t.co/GYPYWVxPl0

— iGinger 🇺🇸🇮🇱🇬🇧 (@MrsFreedomFirst) January 4, 2018

A question from CNN is like a punch from a 98 year old lady with Parkinson's. You ignore it and wait until it just dies from decay. https://t.co/erNsbivlaG

— Sedition Security (@SeditionVegas) January 4, 2018

She is not afraid of you or @cnn. She knows as we all do what you and your failing news network is about. https://t.co/R0bkJyO9Sw

— Deplorable MAGA Fan (@adrees103) January 4, 2018

She's not "afraid" of anyone. Certainly not you losers. #STFU https://t.co/VSQEFP1DH5

— BlueReaganite (@ThinBlueLR) January 3, 2018

She's not afraid, she just doesn't give a hoot about you, Jim. https://t.co/6JsdXkDI1w

— James H. Reynolds IV (@JamesHRIV) January 4, 2018

Buddy, not afraid. She is just tired of the autistic screeching that you try to pass off as a question. https://t.co/fU1Z3YmLrW

— BW👌 (@Khaymansdad) January 4, 2018

You don't ask questions. You give 10 minute soliloquies about how a poem affixed to the Statue of Liberty dictates America's immigration policy. She's a hero for saving us from your BS. https://t.co/8yJpxJck7R

— TMART (@KingKurmvdgeon) January 4, 2018

She is doing you a favor. Aren’t you tired of being made a fool of on TV? https://t.co/RaDpdRPHsp

— Liars Never Win (@liars_never_win) January 4, 2018

Dude, people see @CNN as the low brow alternative to Comedy Central since Jon Stewart left. https://t.co/gfbgxL1qLR

— Ecklebob Chiselfritz (@RotNScoundrel) January 4, 2018

It's fucking gold. Pure gold. You keep stamping your feet, and we'll keep laughing, toadie.https://t.co/64E2VVYI6O

— ☠Problematic AF™☠ (@EF517_V2) January 3, 2018

Sad that @Acosta is starting New Year like much of last year… employed https://t.co/6hf7VkPj8t

— Kyle (@HNIJohnMiller) January 4, 2018

Bro, even Vox is dunking on your company. Vox Draging CNN. https://t.co/ZYCwF3tebs

— Ordy Packard – Amish Man of Mystery (@TheOpulentAmish) January 4, 2018

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Read more: https://twitchy.com/brettt-3136/2018/01/03/looks-like-cnns-jim-acosta-is-going-to-do-the-drama-queen-thing-another-year/

[junker-town]

NFL Dad, Week 9: Standard time and Blair Walsh ruined my Sunday

Relive Sunday's action with one dad, two toddlers, and six hours of the RedZone channel.

Welcome back to standard time! I hope everyone enjoyed their extra hour of sleep when the clocks fell back, except for the tiny segment of the population that is children and people who live with children.

There’s a common refrain around the internet that daylight saving time is bad. Au contraire! It’s standard time that’s a scourge upon our land. I’m fine with when the sun rises and sets during spring and summer. But at no point during the fall am I like, “Y’know what? I’ve been enjoying my circadian rhythms, but I just wish it was dark outside when I left work.”

And I know that EVERY parent bitches about the time change, but let me just pile on: A one-hour time change WRECKS young children. My son was a disaster all day just because America wanted to save energy a hundred years ago during World War I. Let’s spring forward next year and never go back.

EARLY GAMES, FIRST HALF

— We’ve got seven games on the early docket, and it’s not a promising slate. Falcons-Panthers is the only game between two winning teams, and calling the Falcons a “winning team” feels like a stretch. Leonard Fournette is suspended by the Jags for a violation of team rules for their home tilt against the Bengals. Brock Osweiler has returned to the Broncos’ starting lineup for the first time since 2015, the season he won the Super Bowl with the team (LOLOLOL, but also: he went 5-2 as a starter that season). And in some alternate, better universe, Colts-Texans features Andrew Luck versus Deshaun Watson. Here in Shitworld, it’s Jacoby Brissett-Tom Savage.

— Brissett quickly excuses himself from the shitty quarterback conversation with one of the first big plays of the day, a 45-yard touchdown bomb to T.Y. Hilton on a post route. It’s a great throw by Brissett, made even better by the complete absence of a safety to help on the deep ball.

PERFECT pass by @JBrissett12. And @TYHilton13 makes the grab! Touchdown, @Colts! #Colts http://pic.twitter.com/vijqVMrrft

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

— Philadelphia is wearing their all-black uniforms, which smacks of desperate, capitalistic opportunism. The Eagles aren’t a black team; they’re a green and white team. Their attempt to pivot away from kelly green and act like black is one of their colors (“Look at the outline of the eagle!”) is a corporate swindle to sell jerseys.

These are the NFL teams with a claim to going black-on-black:

Raiders

Ravens

Steelers

Falcons

Saints

Maaaaaybe the Jaguars, and only because they were born in the ‘90s and deserve a reprieve from teal. (“Teal: Give us a break, Kurt Cobain was still alive.”)

— The Ravens execute a successful fake punt near midfield. (“The Ravens: Special teams is our offense.”) That leads to a 3rd and 10 inside the red zone, which Joe Flacco solves by throwing a swing pass for one yard. Please, wear a surgical mask and goggles if you have to watch this offense. Baltimore kicks a field goal to go up 3-0.

— It’s 3rd and 12 for the Jags near midfield, which means it’s time for an off-target throw from Blake Bortles. But wait, there’s a twist!

This grab by @Air4Cole is just ridiculous. #Jaguars http://pic.twitter.com/aftjtpW7zW

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

Keelan Cole snatches the overthrow, and keep your eye on this rising star. Catching horribly thrown balls is how Odell Beckham made his name in the NFL.

With the Jags set up in the red zone, they soon face a 3rd and 7, which means it’s time for a Bortles deflection at the line of scrimmage. A Bengals defender drops the easy interception, and the Jags kick a field goal to take a 3-0 lead.

— The rout is on in Philadelphia. Carson Wentz sells play-action and rolls right, lofting a pass to Alshon Jeffery, who’s beaten his defender down the sideline. It’s a 32-yard touchdown.

.@cj_wentz + @TheWorldof_AJ… It’s an @eagles TOUCHDOWN! #FlyEaglesFly http://pic.twitter.com/h7o5S0TDby

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

I know I said “the rout is on” for a 7-3 lead, but in my defense, Osweiler is quarterbacking the Broncos. I feel supremely confident about the way this one’s gonna go.

— It’s 1:30, and my son is refusing to nap. We took the kids out earlier than usual this morning, because they were up at their “usual’ time, which was suddenly 6 a.m. instead of 7 a.m. (BURN DOWN THE GOVERNMENT.)

Anyway, because my daughter learned to pee in her little potty this week, we owed her a treat, so we put the kids in the stroller for a 30-minute walk to an old-timey soda shop to get an ice cream sundae. But because my son was so burned out by the time change, he fell asleep on the way back home. We didn’t think it was a big deal — a 25-minute disco nap before lunch shouldn’t preclude a real nap at 1:30 — but guess what? IT VERY MUCH PRECLUDED THE NAP.

— The Rams, in the red zone, pull off a kind of wide receiver screen that’s actually a hook-and-lateral to Tavon Austin? It doesn’t go in for a touchdown, but it’s a fresh use of Austin after he wilted in Jeff Fisher’s care. Sean McVay is gonna win Coach of the Year just because he’s an upgrade from Rotting Jack-O’-Lantern With a Mustache.

— Marcus Mariota throws a perfect play-action pass to Rishard Matthews for a touchdown, and Matthew celebrates with a surf celebration that includes paddling out into the waves. I respect the realism! The Titans lead 10-3.

Marcus Mariota finds @_RMatthews for the @titans TD... Surf’s up! #TitanUp http://pic.twitter.com/iwP26VlRCV

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

— This is gonna shock you, but Brock Osweiler has thrown an interception. The Eagles start a drive on the Broncos 15 and score three plays later. It’s 17-3, Eagles, and the rout is more on than before.

— Jacksonville has had ball for 15 minutes compared to five for the Bengals, but the Jags only have a 3-0 lead to show for it. But then Bortles throws a short touchdown to Marqise Lee to complete a 96-yard drive. Congratulations, Bengals, you let Blake Bortles lead a 96-yard drive without Leonard Fournette. Y’all should be relegated.

— With the Rams short of midfield and facing 3rd and 33, they throw a WR screen to Robert Woods … who scores a touchdown on the play. Relegate the Giants, too.

.@pfref has data going back to 1994. No team’s ever allowed a third-and-30+ conversion before the Giants just did https://t.co/smP4jRKdqQ

— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) November 5, 2017

RedZone never even shows the Giants get the ball back. Next thing you know, Sammy Watkins is streaking for the end zone on a 67-yard TD pass. It’s 24-7 Rams, and I wash my hands of this bloodletting.

— I kinda breezed over it above, but I want to make it clear that when your 18-month-old child usually naps for 2-3 hours in the afternoon, then circumvents that with a 25-minute doze before noon, you don’t just have an awake kid instead of a sleeping kid. You have a walking tire fire instead of two hours of silence. I will run for office and/or lead a revolution to eliminate seasonal clock changes.

— (breaking news ticker sound) EXTRA! EXTRA! TOM SAVAGE ISN’T GOOD:

Tom Savage: 31.3 completion % today (5/16) No other player with 15+ attempts in any half this season has completed fewer than 35% of throws

— NFL Research (@NFLResearch) November 5, 2017

I mean, who could have seen that coming? Besides Bill O’Brien, I mean.

— My wife and I, exhausted by our son, are letting him click the lamp in our bedroom on and off with only the BAREST amount of supervision. His favorite things in the entire world are lamps, fans, clocks, and dogs. Give him one of those and there’s a 97% chance you have enough time to go pee before he does something potentially fatal.

— I would like to travel back in time and draft Alvin Kamara in all of my fantasy leagues.

Are you kidding, @A_kamara6?! What. A. Play. #GoSaints http://pic.twitter.com/zYpfE0e3Iq

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

— Holy cow! A.J. Green and Jalen Ramsey have both been ejected after Green LOST HIS MIND on Ramsey. Green gets credit for the choke-slam but loses it with the punches to Ramsey’s helmet. ALWAYS PUNCH THE GROIN, KIDS.

My initial reaction to this is that Ramsey must have been RELENTLESS in torturing Green throughout the first part of the game, because Green is one of the nicest, humblest super-humans to ever play wide receiver. Sure, as an elite wide receiver, he’s a driven competitor, but he’s not a Steve Smith-like Terminator in search of fights.

This makes me feel like a sappy bag of hugs — like the sort of hack NFL reporter who says, “I know Player X, and he would never hit a woman” — until I see Antonio Brown’s tweet confirming my suspicion:

that’s not like AJ !!!Not like AJ like he got great attitude something must be going on !

— Antonio Brown (@AB84) November 5, 2017

YES! Thank you, Antonio. I am not a crackpot.

— The Texans score a defensive TD with a sack-fumble that ends up in Lamarr Houston’s arms with a clear path to the end zone. Congrats Texans, it was either that or Tom Savage conjures the spirit of Deshaun Watson into his arm.

— Jay Ajayi made his name with the Dolphins by breaking off big plays in 2016. His failure to do so this season is part of the reason Miami shipped him to the Eagles before the deadline. What do you think was gonna happen?

Welcome to the @Eagles, @JayTrain23! #FlyEaglesFly http://pic.twitter.com/JtUwnTJQFw

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

EARLY GAMES, SECOND HALF

— While most of the games are in halftime, I take my dog out and bring my son along, rolling the dice on him walking instead of needing a stroller. The rain is light but steady, and he toddles along in his yellow rain slicker, splashing in puddles, petting the dog, and charming passersby on the sidewalk. It is a LOT better than any of the games on RedZone.

wet streets & blue steel

A post shared by Matt Ufford (@mattufford) on Nov 5, 2017 at 2:36pm PST

Don’t let him sucker you in; that cute face threw up in my hand yesterday. He was choking on some apple in his stroller, and I put my hand under his chin and told him to spit it out, and instead he coughed up the green smoothie he had for breakfast. It was the consistency of pea soup with ham and the color of Nickelodeon slime.

— I come back inside and it’s apparently 30-3 in New Orleans? Jameis Winston is out of the game, and it appears that the Bucs are just gonna take the whole season off. I’m beginning to feel like this season “Hard Knocks” was a government conspiracy filmed on a sound stage, like the moon landing.

Anyway, this isn’t quite A.J. Green/Jalen Ramsey, but Mike Evans goes high and to the right on Winston makes this the chippiest hour of RedZone I’ve ever seen.

Jameis Winston out here trying to play tag and Mike Evans just wants to fight everyone. #Bucs http://pic.twitter.com/CMZqRHwFia

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 5, 2017

— One of my favorite plays: the ballcarrier goes down without contact, no defender touches him, and he gets up and keeps running. In this case, T.Y. Hilton goes 80 yards for the score:

He wasn't touched! 80-YARD TOUCHDOWN FOR @TYHILTON13! #Colts http://pic.twitter.com/vYdSO5E8NO

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

That’s good for a 17-7 Colts lead late in the third quarter. Deshaun Watson would have five touchdowns and this game would be 48-17 if knee ligaments weren’t so stupid.

— The Jaguars get a 63-yard punt return to go up 23-7. Good night, Bengals. Go join the Bucs in the “mailing your season in” holding pen.

— The Falcons are down 10 and just outside field goal range, so they go for it on 4th and 7. Unbelievably, Matt Ryan finds Julio Jones running free, wide open in the end zone. The ball hits Jones in the hands, but he drops the ball. I am gobsmacked. Trigger warning on this one, folks:

Just the perfectly constructed wide receiver getting open by 10 yards and dropping a perfectly thrown ball on 4th down that would have been an essential score. I’m not even a Falcons fan, and this one shakes up my world a little.

— Look at this burning trash barge:

Very good quarterbacks are quarterbacking http://pic.twitter.com/kcD465izBV

— Bill Barnwell (@billbarnwell) November 5, 2017

WOOF. Just a Viking funeral pyre of used diapers and coffee cups.

But then, something strange happens. Tom Savage really DOES conjure the spirit of Deshaun Watson into his arm.

.@TomSavage03's first career TD pass... And it was GORGEOUS.@deandrehopkins on the receiving end! #Texans http://pic.twitter.com/6Zh5tcSgwN

— NFL (@NFL) November 5, 2017

The Texans are alive in this game, but also not, because: Tom Savage. That was a nice throw on the touchdown, but c’mon: we’ve all seen enough Tom Savage to know what’s up.

— I crack open my daughter’s door at 3:45. She’s gone the other way with the time change: napping too much. And it’s a travesty to wake a child from a nap, but I also need her to be able to fall asleep tonight.

— Atlanta scores a touchdown with 3:25 remaining. They now trail 20-17 instead of taking the lead. They’re really gonna try to make this look like a comeback, aren’t they?

OK, so they get the ball back with enough time to drive for a game-tying field goal. they don’t go anywhere and Matt Ryan misses the throw on 4th down. What a bunch of assholes.

Matt Ryan's lips are mesmerizing @TheFalcoholic http://pic.twitter.com/LxxVNhIXhi

— Clay Wendler (@ClayWendler) November 5, 2017

LATE GAMES, FIRST HALF

— There are three late games today. Cardinals-49ers and Washington-Seahawks get underway before the week’s only enticing matchup, Chiefs-Cowboys, kicks off at 4:25 Eastern.

— I’m going to pause the stream-of-consciousness act for a moment. I’ve gone back and forth with how I want to talk about this Seahawks game, and I’ve decided I’m not going to relive all the agonizing dipshittery my favorite team pulled off today: 16 penalties, two Russell Wilson interceptions, two dropped interceptions by the defense, two failed 2-point conversions, and THREE missed field goals. Ah, so THAT’S the Blair Walsh who missed a 27-yarder in the playoffs. Good times. At least it wasn’t a close game.

Anyway, here’s some pigs on the field before the game.

No idea why but a bunch of pigs on the field in Seattle. Maybe to welcome The Hogs? http://pic.twitter.com/zIja3TmmyK

— JP Finlay (@JPFinlayNBCS) November 5, 2017

— My nanny got my son a plastic drum that lights up and plays music. There are two volume settings: rock concert and jet engine. It’s awful. My son loves it.

You know, as much as I love our kids being socialized and having access to modern medicine, a part of me DOES long for a cabin in the woods where their only toys are whatever rocks and sticks they can find. Would they get eaten by mountain lions? MAYBE. But if not, they’d be so resilient and self-sufficient!

— Patrick Peterson’s long interception return sets up a short field for Arizona’s offense, and Drew Stanton finds Jaron Brown on 3rd and goal for the touchdown. It’s already 10-0 in Santa Clara, and I have some doubts about C.J. Beathard’s ability to lead this team out of the hole. More sideline shots of Jimmy Garoppolo! My eyes demand it!

— This is unrelated to any game I want to talk about, but Bobby Wagner is a missile with arms.

— Kansas City and Dallas are off to a slow start, but a Cole Beasley touchdown finally opens the scoring late in the first quarter. It was a nice drive for Cowboys; I think that Dak Prescott guy has a real future in the NFL.

— My wife Facetimes with her parents, and the cacophony stresses me out: the TV, two toddlers (one of which is constantly at the edge of crying), my wife speaking loudly to be heard, and my (very lovely) in-laws. I try to mute the TV, but nothing happens. I then get up to retrieve the batteries to the remote, because ... toddlers.

— My daughter is wearing a black tee shirt with the Wu-Tang logo and “IS FOR THE CHILDREN” printed on it. Over this, she wears a pink ballet leotard. This sums up her entire aesthetic nicely.

She brings over a small bowl of cashews, climbs onto the couch, and sits next to me. I say, “Oh, you brought me cashews!” as I take one, because Stock Dad is the role I was born to play. But then she feeds me a cashew, so I feed her one. And we go on that way until the bowl is empty. There’s football on TV, I guess.

— In the final minute of the half, Dak Prescott completes a pass to Terrence Williams for a big gain to set up first and goal for Cowboys. A play or two later, Dak escapes the pocket and runs it in himself. The Cowboys will go into the locker room with a 14-3 lead.

... UNLESS Andy Reid calls a downfield screen to Tyreek Hill and the Cowboys tackle like adults in a kids movie.

Credit to Andy Reid for the play design and Tyreek Hill for being the kind of player who only needs three blockers for eight defenders, but also: THIS IS THE MOST ALEX SMITH HAIL MARY POSSIBLE. “I’ll just throw the ball 42 yards short of where it needs to be and let my playmakers do the work.”

LATE GAMES, SECOND HALF

— Our neighbors come over so our kids can hang out. My apartment now has four adults, three toddlers, one baby, and one dog in it, plus 52 Seahawks shitting the bed on TV (Bobby Wagner is the lone holdout).

— C.J. Beathard scores a touchdown to cut the Cardinals’ lead to 14-10, but I’m not going to write any more about this game for two reasons: (1) The Niners are just going to lose anyway, and (2) I still have my dignity. Yes, I used my hand as a vomit cup, but I DID IT WITH MY HEAD HELD HIGH. I’m too old to pretend to give a shit about Drew Stanton and C.J. Beathard game.

— The Chiefs are trailing 14-10 but get it into the red zone with a read-option keeper on 3rd and 1. This has been a nice drive for them; Andy Reid clearly made some halftime adjustments that solidified their running game. Reid would be the best coach in the game if his brain didn’t turn into jellied pork fat after the 2-minute warning.

Alex Smith finds Travis Kelce in the corner of the end zone to give the Chiefs the lead. He and some teammates celebrate with a sack race:

This is at least the third celebration that’s just pretending to play a children’s game (the Vikings had Duck, Duck, Goose/Grey Duck, and JuJu Smith-Schuster played hide-and-seek), and everyone online seems to be eating this stuff up.

And compared to what the NFL used to allow, these are good celebrations! Everyone’s having fun, and that’s a big leap forward for the NFL. But I also feel like we’re going to look back on this time and say, “Really? We thought it was ‘awesome’ that the preplanned touchdown celebration was adults playing children’s games?”

I know I sound like Grumpy Dad, but dads are also right when they tell you that you deserve better. So demand better. Or keep losing your mind over Ring Around the Rosie, do what you like. I’m going to save my praise for the first receiving corps to perform the “Single Ladies” dance.

— Zeke Elliott scores to put the Cowboys up 21-17. That caps a 12-play, 75-yard drive in which nine of the plays were runs. There are still 18 minutes to play, but the writing on the wall is clear: If the Chiefs struggle to score in the final quarter, the Cowboys running game will grind them down, season them, put them in casing, and serve with ribs. Also I may be writing this while very hungry.

— After the 49ers give up a field goal, I tell my daughter, “That’s mommy’s favorite team. My favorite team is the blue team, the Seahawks.”

“What’s my favorite team?” she asks.

Oh boy. “Your favorite team is whatever team you decide you like best,” I say through gritted teeth, my dreams dying.

RedZone flips to a close-up on the Cowboys, who have just scored again to put the game out of reach. “What’s THAT team?” she asks. NOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!

[seahawkerspodcast]

3 IN, 3 OUT – This is RuUs – Texans v. Seahawks

by fellow 12 Clinton Bonner

Flock, what can be said but Holy Catfish!!! We laughed (see Facebook GIF party for proof), we cried, we shouted at our TVs, and we came out with an incredible 41 – 38 victory at the CLink over a Texans team that can put the biscuit in the basket!

There is just so much to get to, so instead of some long opening soliloquy, enjoy the image above … because This is RuUs

You know the drill by now, when we WIN we start with an …

IN – The Love of #29

I grew up in Deer Park, NY (Long Island for many who likely don't know) … and across the street from my brother and I were this trio of big hearted brothers we had the privilege of calling best friends throughout the 80s, 90s, and into our adult lives. If the Sandlot were real life, and all sports not just sweet, sweet baseball, these guys were stars in our movie.

Recently, the eldest of the brothers passed. He played and did all things with a bigness, and a smoothness, and an everlasting smile. He knew what you were going to do before you knew. He was the best kid on the court, or the field, or the rink and if he was on your team, you usually won, and you certainly were always better because of him. His name was John and he was #29.

I mentioned some crying earlier right? When our #29 read the rook Watson like a fine piece of literature and took it back 78-yards to counter-punch against the early Texans haymaker… I stood up, raised a fist to the air and long after Walsh knotted the effort at 7, finally fell back to the couch, smiling, crying, remembering this Deer Park kid who always made it look easy, even though we all knew we could never do what he just did.

Our love and our prayers to the entire Gorman family. #GlendaLove

Enjoy #29 doing his best impersonation of Deer Park's #29

The 78-yard INT return for the touchdown by #Seahawks star Safety Earl Thomas off #Texans rookie Deshaun Watson http://pic.twitter.com/sXi9Tg44KM

— Dov Kleiman (@NFL_DovKleiman) October 29, 2017

  OUT – Try Getting Me Wright

KJ Wright is kinda a silent hero on this team. With the much bigger on-air personalities of Big Perm, Big Sherm, the aforementioned Earl, and the overshadowing in the box scores that B-Wagz would do to any teammate, KJ just does his thing and that thing is usually really, really good.

On Sunday, us Flockers saw wayyyyyyy too much of #50 trying to chase their #10 around the yard.

A few things to clarify here.

I don't pin this on KJ. Clearly this Texans offense does some interesting things to say the least, and 50 million Elvis fans can't be wrong, right? The City, States can and do put up points and they certainly create mis-matches throughout any given Sunday.

What I'm wondering is if this Texans team, who had the bye week coming into this game, schemed up some brand new plays to earn these mis-matches OR if these were plays that were already on film, and they still burnt Richard time and time again? Anybody know???

We certainly saw less of KJ covering Hopkins in the 2nd half, thankfully, and you might be saying; “So what? Hopkins still killed us!?” … and while stats don't lie, we did get this HUGE INT to Hopkins' side of the field at a crucial, crucial moment of the match!

  INTERCEPTION SEAHAWKS!! Sherman es el ladrón ahora! Si despierta la defensa de Seattle van a ganar hoy. http://pic.twitter.com/OD6VVWfe4M

— Refrigerador NFL (@RefrigeradorNFL) October 29, 2017

And FTR… Wright led the team in tackles, with 14 !!!

  IN – All Day Disruption, Starring Michael Bennett

There are MANY worthy INs. Sheesh looking down my list we're not even going to cover P-Rich or that amazing Coach Carroll fumble-forward challenge that kept a crucial early drive alive!!! We won't spotlight Frank the Tank going off and we won't even focus on Russ!

That's how good #72 was in this game.

Bennett wasn't everywhere, he was exactly where he needed to be, seemingly always. On multiple occasions throughout the sunny PNW afternoon, Bennett was 1 to 3 yards deep into the Texans backfield, blowing up a would be Lamar Miller effort. He tallied 2 huge sacks (1.5 in the record books) and he cause havoc on the line all day.

Michael Bennett also saved this game for us. Awash in the headline stats was the most crucial tackle of the game.

2nd Down and 9, 1:56 left to go on the clock.

A hole opens up along the right side of the Texans line and Lamar Miller bursts through for what looks like will be a game clinching rumble.

Suddenly, Miller stumbles, and falls forward for a gain of 5, setting up 3rd and 4.

If you re-watched the game or caught it live, Bennett gets a paw on Miller's foot and literally, saves the day.

Yup, Bennett, in his 9th year, now has 5.5 sacks on the season. But on a day drenching with dynamite plays, this tackle gave our ‘Hawks the chance we needed!

  OUT – Tre Madden

I don't get it… If you need to understand how I feel, see Tom Hanks' “Josh” in BIG.

We're never trying to rip a guy personally, but I just don't get Tre Madden's value to this team.

He's sparsely used and when he's in he doesn't block well at all. As mentioned on the FB Sea Hawkers Pod Ring of Honor during the game… Not a great look for a FB!!! Multiple times during the game he either got blown up in the backfield OR failed to sustain or even chip a guy out wide on certain stretch plays.

I know, I know… Madden had a BIG catch and run netting us a Lemieux (in yards) setting up the game tying field goal in the 3rd quarter. Tip the cap to Bevell for using a player no one was thinking of, at the exact right moment and hey, Tre executed it … can't take that away from him.

But as far as Madden's value to this team… I just don't get it.

Flocktimus shared similar sentiment on Twitter and got a prettttty interesting reaction from a certain somebody:

  IN – Return of the McEvoy

Ever since training camp came to a pretty dramatic conclusion with the cutting of “Karen” Willams, most Seahawks fans have been questioning the decision to keep McEvoy on this team. Through 7 games, McEvoy didn't do all that many things to help his argument, dropping some easy passes and throwing a pick on a trick-play.

Sunday, he had a big impact. He set up the game tying TD in the 2nd quarter with this beautiful haul on a Sexy Deep Ball by DangeRuss:

  This beautiful deep ball from Russell Wilson to Tanner McEvoy. #HOUvsSEA #Seahawks http://pic.twitter.com/WBmTME7HAf

— (@3lone) October 29, 2017

  On the ensuing KO, McEvoy put a hat on the ball, jarring it loose, nearly resulting in a turnover deep in Texan territory!

Tanner McEvoy with the big hit, forced fumble. http://pic.twitter.com/bfF5KTO5Q9

— Matt O'Brien (@mattobrien31) October 29, 2017

  And of course… well … this from earlier in the week:

Techno Thursday. #ItsAMovementhttp://pic.twitter.com/SlFLplBE0L

— Seattle Seahawks (@Seahawks) October 27, 2017

It's role players like McEvoy that help you win championships… welcome back Mac!

OUT – Kickoff with Their Heads

This OUT is less about a singular game or crucial play… but it's an OUT nonetheless.

I do not thing Tyler Lockett should return KOs for us any longer.

He should still be our PR, he's really, really smart and most often makes the most out of every attempt he gets back there.

On KOs… there's just a little something missing from Tyler's approach that was there previous to his terrible leg injury. He's almost too patient and during KOs, where you don't get too many opportunities a game to make an impact, you don't need patience, you need one-cut decisions and explosiveness.

Let's not forget Tyler led the team in receptions (tied for 6) and yards (121) on Sunday, so let's not confuse the issue here.

On KOs… this 12 believes we should try our hand with JD McKissic and measure the delta.

  Don't Worry, Be Happy

Am I the only 12 not all that concerned that we gave up 38 points at home? Not to say we'd always make this ‘trade' but we had 5 sacks, 3 INTs and a pick 6 in this game. If we exchange TDs for FGs in the 3rd quarter, we win this game going away and even with that, our red zone O looked MUUUUUUUCH better.

We're 5 – 2, we're home against a very banged-up Redskins team, and we just acquired a Pro-Bowl level Tackle… so, don't worry, be happy now!

From the Flock

My favorite part of every Seahawks week is sharing this with all the Sea Hawkers Pod 12s who make this awesome. So, who got in the mix this week… a LOT of ya, so apologies in advance if I missed your #3i3o this week and enjoy the commentary below!!!

  Ella got right to the ‘heart' of the matter with this tweet

In: P. Rich! Out: The coronary I had during Wilson's interception. #3i3o

— Ella Esparza (@EsparzaElla) October 29, 2017

  Ross was none too pleased with Germain's early efforts… most likely sparked from false starts and another bonehead personal foul!

#3I3O Out #76 @clintonbon

— Ross Bell (@RossBell1984) October 29, 2017

  Flocktimus loves a good meme… and well, so do we:

#IN #3i3o @clintonbon http://pic.twitter.com/6Fm8RR8t6u

— Keith Ketover (@FlocktimusPrime) October 29, 2017

  DCH wrote it all in one succinct FB message …well done DCH!

  Gary is smart… here's proof:

  Kevin saw the elusive ‘pocket thingy' … and so did I … thx Kev!

  Annnnd let's end this where it all begins …

In: That's why we watch football! #3i3o

— Sea Hawkers Podcast (@SeaHawkersPod) October 29, 2017

  This is RuUs 12s… This is RuUs.

Until next week, Go ‘Hawks !!!

All Seahawks fans if you are not listening to and subscribing to THE best Seahawks podcast out there, you need to #DoBetter – Enjoy the Sea Hawkers Podcast today!!! 

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