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dommelody · 3 years

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this fanfic is written while considering all of the characters being adults in another time line where everyone is living a peaceful life so don't come at me with that talk about "OMG THEY'RE MINORS" if u do I'll slap u with the slipper that im wearing lmao , anyways as if u see im hella lazy so im not that active in here, moreover i got alot of exams those weeks but finally im free for like 1 week ? two ? idk for niw im free af,so if someone got some ideas don't hesitate and send it to okay?(especially those hawt characters who seem to be submissive and breedable lol) i think there were few of u who send me some requests sorry for not replying I'll try to respond if ur idea is hella good hehu now even if u want to discuss anything about any topic about anime and stuff just ask haha need sone friends out here *crying while eating banana * shoot that was sus lmao ...

then~ enjoy ~ ♡

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cw: sub!draken , sub!mitsuya , dom!reader, public sex...

"master they might hear us~" mitsuya said with a shaking voice while all you can hear in the restroom were his moans and the lewd sounds u make while fucking him rough which were all covered with music ..

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tomorrow is a holiday so all the gang's division's captains decided to have dinner at a famous restaurant so you decided to go and have fun ,fun in ur own way♡

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when you entered the restaurant there was a big table beside the window, everyone was there and luckily u found a sit right in front of draken and mitsuya ,after u took your seat everyone started eating, laughing and drinking.. both of draken and mitsuya were forced to drink since it was a special dinner to celebrate pah-chin's marriage ..after the talk and all everyone was under the alcohol's spell,some slept and other got to the bathroom ,you started to get bored however seeing both draken and mitsuya fighting the urge to sleep was adorable,then you decided to tease them a little bit,you slided your leg that was covered under the table between draken's thighs reaching his dick then you started to move it up and down until he suddenly hid his face on the table ,with a heavy panting he whispered :"w-we can't do it here t-they will hear u-ahhhng ♡"

"since when did i have to ask for your opinion on each thing i do?,hmmm?" with that cold look on your face draken got red like a tomato ,"look at you draken,what should we do if someone sees you now at this state, do you even know what kind of face you're making~?".

with all that embarrassment and shame he said while trying to stop his moans from coming out:"what are you talking about, something like this is nothi-hmm♡",you shut his mouth with your hand"as i thought you don't get it don't you?right now all i can see is a slutty look that begs for my touch,but you know what? at first i was gonna be nice and gentle but now you will have to endure this erection of yours until we go back home,of course touching yourself is forbidden ♡",he didn't even try to reject your order he just hide his face on the table and started whining like a puppy.

a few minutes later, the other members came back from the restroom, then smiley asked:"did draken sleep already? that's rare!! ,alcohol usually don't affect him easily ,well we drank too much i guess haha,how about you mitsuya?"

"well,me? i'm a bit sleepy and-hnnn-"

"bro you okay? your face is so red "

"i-i'm okay hehe,i suddenly got a stomachache"

"is that so? then be careful if it gets worse just go home "

"y-yeah t-thanks"

however,probably no one was able to know what was going on in there ,surely it wasn't a stomachache but in fact it was your fault,you started touching his clothed dick with your feet ,moreover you unzipped his pants and started teasing his bare skin down there,mitsuya was always your obedient puppy,unlike draken who sometimes rebels on order you give him ,mitsuya will seek for your praise more than anything else .

then you whispered while covering your mouth from smiley who was two seats away from you ,"don't worry sweetheart i didn't forget you ,so i'm giving you all the attention you want ♡." then he smiled with blush all over his face then whispered back :"hng,d-do as you like ,master♡",as soon as he said that you stood up and said:"mitsuya you don't look well so at least let me sit beside you ,so I'll be able to check on you faster that way if you got fever "

"yea i think that will help"smiley said without knowing what was even going on ,poor soul lol.

there was a seat between draken and mitsuya so you sat there and started touching his dick with your hand gently and with the other hand you pretended to check on him by putting your hand on his forehead in front of smiley,then u said :"smiley i think i should take mitsuya to the restroom he's sweating alot ".

"yea please do , i would like to help but im already wasted lol"

"haha thats because u drank to much,you-,oh hes asleep haha,hello? yea hes absolutely wasted lol,so how about we go sweetheart ?"

while smiley slept the other members were already gone everyone got plans for the rest of the night so you were free to speak with mitsuya there without worries ~♡...

u turned to mitsuya telling him to stand up to go to the restroom but we absolutely missed something, well before i started speaking with smiley about going to the restroom ,i left mitsuya's pants open didn't i ?,while his hard dick out ofcourse what to do ?hmmmm?

as expected he was a blushing mess even though hes ur obedient puppy, walking the way to the restroom with his dick out will be hella embarrassing ,btw mitsuya was wearing an overcoat so u got an idea to tease him even more..

"mitsuya come here, if you stick to me with ur closed coat they wont notice right ?,come here sweetheart ,or~ do u want to be left alone like draken over there ?''

after hearing that mitsuya stood up and started walking while sticking his dick thats only covered by the coat behind u which is almost rubbing ur buttcheek ,just imagine him walking shyly behind u panting like crazy and all .....what a show 🖤

u got to the restroom and quickly found a stall and closed the door then,"mitsuya suck my dick,will u ?"

with this order he turned red but on the same time his body was honest because as soon as u showed your dick he started leaking precum, "enjoying the view from down there aren't u ~"

while he was on his knees u slapped him with ur dick getting a lustful look from him then u grabbed his head and started fucking his throat roughly ,quickly without mercy,then finished inside his mouth,while his face was a mess with ur cum he was panting and letting out some moans ,then when u realized .. u said :"pfft,seriously mitsuya ? did u come untouched while i fucked your throat?,i guess you're on heat lol ,what a slut ~♡,well unfortunately i didn't bring condoms so i can't give u what u want sweetheart,so let-??, mitsuya~, i see~ u are definitely in heat~"

after being told that u cant do it there he sat on the toilet while spreading his legs to u while getting out a butt plug from his hole then as soon as it was out his hole were leaking with some lotion he seems to have been preparing his hole for his master how naughty~♡.

"mitsuya u gave me an idea , do u know what u got urself into? " , then u got down alittle bit and whispered on his ear "im gonna fuck u so hard, ill fill u up with my cum and then since we're doing it raw ,we can't leave ur hole leaking with cum in from of others dont we?,sooo,we're going to plug your ass with all of my cum inside without wasting a single drop. and we will have u walk in public and in front of our friends with that hot cum inside ur belly ~,don't worry if we get lucky maybe u will get pregnant Haha♡ ",with u provoking him he started whining like an impatient puppy while squeezing his wet hole ,then u gave him what he wanted ,u slide ur dick in one go inside him,getting the lewdest look from mitsuya " master im so full with yours ♡,fill me up more pleaaseeee ♡"

"mitsuya you're definitely drunk ,but well im happy to see this side of u hehe,then lets get serious and finish it quickly before smily wakes up,what about draken ?,hes definitely jealous right now getting even harder while imagining us fucking in the restroom, haha maybe he came just from imagining about that♡"

u grabbed mitsuya's thighs then started fucking him dumb going in and out like there is no tomorrow then u leaned down kissing him to make him lower his moans which were filling the restroom, u tried then to pull from the kiss thinking that he needed some seconds to breath ,but then mitsuya suddenly grabbed u back ," master if u dont kiss me im afraid that ill get louder,ahnn-♡"

" i see~,our mitsuya cant help it but to feel so good when i fuck him roughly~♡♡"

then u held him up and made him face the wall after that u fucked him from behind while the lewd sounds are filling the restroom...

but i guess that wasnt a problem to worry about since the music was loud

then, u picked up the pace even rougher and faster while mitsuya was a drooling mess while his eyes rolled back from the intense sex u are having ,then u bited his neck leaving a kiss mark on it then u came inside of him . as soon as u finished, u said smirking ," haaa,that felt amazing sweetie ,but i think u shouldn't waste a drop of my cum ,right?, now show me what a good boy you're and plug it urself ♡"

as soon as u said that mitsuya grabbed the plug and put his knee on the closed toilet then he lifted his ass up then started inserting it while panting like crazy ,half of it was of course because of the intense sex u had but the other half was because u were staring intensely at him plugging himself just the thought of being seen by u while touching himself turned him on..

then to avoid accidents like having someone enter the restroom while u were in there u helped him dress up and then quickly got out safely hehe♡..

"hey guys u are lateeeee,heyy i think draken has fever he was mumbling alone with a low voice while panting heavily ,hes definitely in pain having a high fever,i tried to help him but he was weirdly agressive and stopped me right away ,well sorry guys i have to go angry is waiting for me outside sooo take care~"

u answered:" yea u too be careful on ur way home, and dont worry I will take a goo~d care of draken "

after smiley left draken lifted up his head to u , damn that hungry look on his face with drool from his red lips~ ,when he saw u, he let out some low panting sounds as if he was whining like a puppy waiting for attention ,then he grabbed u down from his sit and kissed u a real quick but deep kiss :"master ur so cruel having ur way with mitsuya while letting me here alone suffering from this erection",then u leaned down to reach his ear then whispered:"did u have fun while imagining lewd stuff about us ? hmm ,ur soo naughty draken " then u bit his ear ,while squeezing his left nipple which was covered with his shirt ,then he let out a low moan and as soon as he realized something ,he hid his face down and told u with a cracked voice :" u c..can go alone i..ill foll..ow u after i p..pay t..the bills,hmm♡", as soon as he finished talking , u sat beside him and slid ur hand below the table to quickly insert it down his underwear then as u thought he came from just those touches from u..:" u really keep surprising me teddy bear, pfft u came just from that haha, how can anyone believe that our strongest vice president is a slut seeking my touch,how cute~♡,well u will have to walk all~ the way home with that underwear of yours which is a mess with ur cum,well dont worry when we get home u wont need it anyway ~,i wont let u sleep tonight~"

then u were about to get out of the restaurant which was luckily almost getting ready to close up ,since there's not alot of customers there ,u payed the bills while mitsuya and draken sticking to u from behind

then the worker there noticed :"umm are they okay their faces are red ,maybe fever ? "

"yea i think so also they drank too much thats why haha ,right ? draken , mitsuya?"

while customers were all gone u started touching their butt from behind while speaking with the worker,then they said while trying to smile to them :"ye..yes w..we dran..k too much hehe"

" i see please take care then , i think u should take some medicines too, to get better, please come back again~"

then u replied :"yea,then we will be going, we will come back again~"

then u lifted ur hand and stopped teasing them then they quickly followed u,well it was night so i think no one will notice right ?

"hey , umm.. i mean what did u do with mitsuya ?"

"hmm ~ ,why don't u ask him then ?, hehe"

then he turned to him ,previously ,he didn't focus on mitsuya that much, but now seeing mitsuya's lewd face , that red face which were luckily hidden by the night's dark sky,he got it right away..

"next time don't let me alone like that i was lonely and scared ,that piece of shit smiley freaked the shit out of me ,when he stood up trying to check on me"

"damn we should drink together more often ur so drunk who thought that I'll get to see this honest and cute side u ,haha but well, that must've been scary , sorry maybe i pushed u too far but you know that was a punishment so its normal, maybe I'll reward u when we get home for finishing the punishment as i ordered, well ,u came even though i told u not to tho~lol"

"SHUT UP, WILL YA "

"but ur blushing ~", "IM NOT"

then you passed a hot night with ur precious partners, however, that'll be another story to tell♡..

#sub draken #dom reader #sub mitsuya #tokyo revengers smut #fanfic #dom male reader #male reader

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p-taryn-dactyl · 2 years

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Sorry I don’t have any specific ideas, but since you’re writing for Legends, please write something with Ray! He needs more love 😌

a/n: i went with some headcanons lol (some are x reader, both platonic and romantic btw) also, thank you so much for requesting!! i love ray palmer as well and i hope you like this

Ray Palmer Headcanons

You see this man? This precious being? Cinnamon roll.

He might be one of the smartest people alive but he's constantly confused, no clue what's going on but excited to be there

if he's really into an invention, he will sometimes hole up in his room working on it. after a span of two weeks once, nate had to drag him out by his ear

ik it's marvel, but he's like if you took tony stark and scott lang and smushed them into a new person along with a golden retriever

He looks like you would catch him at 3am eating peanut butter straight from the jar

The one time the Legends went to Disneyworld to catch a demon possessed Mickey Mouse (this wasn't shown bc of copyright reasons), he made everyone wear matching tourist t-shirts and mickey ears. Rory tried to set his on fire. They went on every ride and at one point, Nate and Ray had their arms full of food and gift bags. (Ray got a Dash figurine for Barry Allen). The last thing for this is: imagine Ray and surprisingly Mick, getting nervous to meet Cinderella - like you would if you were meeting Beyonce or your favorite celeb

he actually likes cherry flavoured things. enjoys cough syrup

Platonic x [name] headcanons:

if you're his best friend (along with Nate bc come on, those two are a package deal) prepare for the most supportive friendship ever

you will never feel lonely and if you do, he will do anything to bring a smile to your face (he once bought you seven puppies but that ended in you and Nate caring for your friend who had forgotten about his allergies)

Star Wars marathons. He knows every. single. line. But always acts surprised when it's revealed that Luke and Leia are twins.

he also just seems like someone who would watch I Love Lucy (idk if im getting this from cannon or im projecting but still). If you love sitcoms, then you're in luck bc if it's not Star Wars...it's a sitcom.

he likes musical theater

you and Ray have a very close friendship to the point that if either of you are in a relationship, the partner are dating both of you as well.

when he's working on an invention, and you're bored, you'll be sitting on his work bench, eating junk food while he works. sometimes you throw a cheeto at his head when you see he's about to put something in the wrong place - which could lead to another explosion

if you two fight, he's always the first one to apologize, no matter if it was your fault. if it was his fault (like forgetting movie/game night) he would literally shower you in snacks...have you ever had doritos and gummy bears rain down on you? well now you have (they are packaged btw lol)

your stuff is never broken. ever. he always fixes it

when he and Nora got married, Nate was sobbing and you were the officiant - but you almost couldn't get any words out considering you were both laughing bc you were nervous and crying bc YOUR BEST FRIEND WAS GETTING MARRIED AND APPARENTLY YOU COULDN'T MARY NORA TOO. YOU ASKED.

Romantic headcanons:

oh boy. any doubt you've ever had about a relationship flies out of your head by the first date

this man pampers you. whether it be with expensive gifts or the wacky key chain he found at a gas station that reminded him of you

he is the little spoon

on fancy dates, he will literally buy out an entire restaurant so you're alone for the night. well except for the private band he's paying. the first time this happened, your fourth date, you were scared he was proposing when he brought out a 'special' dessert. it was just a cake he baked himself.

he definitely knows his way around a kitchen - always creating new dishes for you to try

on more casual dates, you order take out, watch crappy movies and play games. he acts mad that you always beat him in uno but he never told you that he shuffles the cards in a way to let you win. he loves the look on your face when you triumphantly lay down your last card.

in arguments, he always gives you space to cool down if it's a loud argument. if you apologize first, it's because he was too busy getting you apology gifts. if he apologizes first, its in the minutes right after the fight. if he ever, ever, makes you cry (which is rare), he'll stop what he's saying, make sure you're ok with him touching you, cup your face and wipe away your tears before pulling you into a hug, murmuring sweet assurances

you guys will have a bunch of laughs, pillow fights, and nights where you stay up doing face masks, each others nails, and telling each other secrets and sharing stories from your childhood

a/n: well, im sorry if this sucked lol, ray is such a fun character and i couldn't write anything negative about him. i'm aware there's a bit more best friend headcanons than romantic and that's purely bc i was starting to fall for another fictional character and had to stop myself

#ray palmer #legends of tomorrow #ray palmer x reader #legends of tomorrow x reader #nate heywood #sara lance #ava sharpe #cw legends of tomorrow #the atom #nora darhk #nora darhk x ray palmer #ray palmer x nora darhk

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frieschan · 3 years

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Hi!!😊😊Can you please write a headcanon about Hisoka and to his Girlfriend who is a wizard like from Hogwarts in harry Potter and her house is Gryffindor... Thanks!

character/s featured: h. morow x f! reader

requested: @janadiamond | headcanons//fluff

TW: none

AN: HIII TYSM FOR REQUESTING AND I REALLY LIKED THIS IDEA CAUSE IM ALSO A GRYFFINDOR SDGJASDH SORRY IF IT TOOK A WHILE </3 Had way too much fun writing this

NOT BETA-READ

Hisoka Morow w/ a Gryffindor and Wizard(Witch) girlfriend! (´▽`ʃ♡ƪ)

so the way you and hisoka became a couple is literally one of the mysteries that can never be solved

but like it is what it is (LOL)

Hisoka tends to see just how brave you are as a Gryffindor and wizard

Yes, he made you jump off your broom once.

(Your broom zoomed under you just as you were about to hit the concrete)

He owed you a lot after that ♤

you threatening him with magic and him being snarky

"I will JINX YOU Morow."

"Is that so? I didn't know your little stick there could do such a thing"

yeah he doesn't really take your magic seriously :(

and he wouldn't believe in it until he witnesses you use it in battle

"Confunda!

"Bluebell Flames!!"

...and then he learned that you were one of the most talented graduated wizards from Hogwarts

He wants to fight you but at the same time you could probably use a charm to restrain him and leave it at that

As much as he wants to kill people with you, you promised yourself to never hurt any innocent civilian

which he had whined loudly about when you told him 😭

nevertheless, he still thinks you're cool and strong

sometimes, he likes to steal your Gryffindor scarf and wear it, in which you found adorable but it doesn't fit him like at all

" 'Soka, as much as I absolutely adore you in my scarf, neither the house nor color could ever fit you better than the Slytherin."

"My, isn't that a bit mean my little jinx? ♡"

Whenever the both of you are bored, you use laviosa on him and he liked to just float in the air. (what a child)

One day when you were out, he looked through your closet and found your witch hat, uniform, and some old pictures

when you came back home he bugged you about wearing the uniform and who were in the pictures

he calls your closet the 'magic closet' now

he likes the way you talk and your accent too (creepy)

"Bloody hell 'Soka!"

"What an interesting choice of words, little witch~ ♢"

Watches you make potions and whenever you do, he always asks if he could use it on a guinea pig

reblog or like if you enjoyed!

#hisoka x reader #hisoka morow x reader #hisoka x y/n #hisoka morow x y/n #hisoka morow x you #hisoka x you #hisoka headcanons #hisoka hcs #hunter x hunter x reader #hunter x hunter #hisoka morow #hisoka #hxh hcs #hxh x you #hisoka morow hcs #hisoka morow headcanons #: ̗̀➛beige basement writes #: ̗̀➛mommy fries writing

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merakiui · 3 years

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welcome to the day a duck ruins your perception of items in genshin impact. i uh. made some items in genshin impact as yandere boys and what they're like sort of?? you could try and burn your eyes now. ;) adepti seekers stove- he's going to be a tsundere no buts or uhts. he's the type of yandere that's trying to be protective and failing miserably everytime. so being impatient and angsty. so, he resorts in kidnapping you instead. but hey look on the bright side! even when you're kidnapped you can have delicious meals and snacks! secretly likes to cook for you a lot, but he won't admit it even in death. just don't question why there's a lingering scent of sleeping potions in your meal and you'll be good as jolly jee! probably wants you to help him in the kitchen, since he once heard that couples do that. would probably give you self esteem issues down the line. "didn't i tell you to not get hurt? are you that much of an idiot?? here. have this it'll lessen the pain just a bit so we can walk back home. just drink it already." windsong lyre- smug bastard, smug shit. he's probably a player or just overly dramatic with everything. maybe he's righteous or something.. likes to show off his music skills a lot. he sucks at it tho. gaslights you probably in public places to add more pressure, because people are staring like you're having a performance or something. calls you love even if he's pissed at you for not listening to him, or accusing him of being toxic or suspecting him of being your stalker that always watches you from your window at 2am! would make you paranoid a lot. loves kissing your cheek and tickling you. he's a closeted pervert. you're gonna have to move in an isolated place too, he will spread rumours of you being his lover. "love, I'm sure that you're just overreacting. plus even if i was the stalker that you're talking about I wouldn't be oh so casually talking to you in public when I could've been hiding! jeez it's like your going crazy." wind-blessed harpastrum- such sweety! just so wholesome bakes you a pie in tuesday sweet. seems patient too but beware he will break your legs when you get a little bit too bratty for his tastes. touch starved too and it shows, that's why he loves to cuddle you lots! really obsessed with what you think of him. if you say you hate him he'll tear up and try to convince you that he's good, but if you pretend that you like him he'll shower you with uncomfortable affection and confessions. really great at making bombs and torture weapons too. probably sewed in a bomb inside your body threatened that he will kill you with it if you leave. bad at darts and archery. if you say that to him he'll laugh and take out his diploma saying that he's too smart for those childish games. he's impulsive in decision making. "haha. you know. you almost escaped from me back there. but hey! now you won't do anything stupid like that ever again if you can't walk." windblume balloon: listen man. im going to be killed but he's an airhead, pun intended right there. probably lowkey manipulative and doesn't even know it yet or chooses to ignore it. protective of you a lot. really delusional to the point that he rationalizes your escape as someone kidnapping you. so say goodbye to whoever poor stranger who was trying to help you escape they'll be greeted by an arrow through their head once he finds you. has a habit of holding your hand because he's afraid you might disappear from his line of sight and leave him all alone. if you let go tho he'll gorilla grip your hand, might crush it too. just very overprotective. he also doesn't know that he's an airhead. yeah."hm? why do i like holding you hand..? i just like it.. your hand makes me feel... uh. safe..? is that the word for it? ah. it was the word loved." wind catcher- he's a full on sadist. throw all of your escape plans out the window, this guy will climb a mountain and ride any wind current available to catch and torture you. persistently trying to make you like him atleast a bit. yeah, he's that kind of delusional. would teasingly push you

of a cliff as a 'light' punishment. dark humour and likes to joke about killing you from time to time. note: he can kill you. and he would also do it by ripping you in half with the wind current so just stay in his house and be a good lover that'll shower him in kisses, okay? okay. he mostly sees you as a tool of interest, but not just any tool- you're his favourite tool. "pfft! hey stop crying now! you're making me feel bad! hm? oh? why am i doing this? well i mean maybe I'm angry that someone was trying to escape. again." warming bottle- he will absolutely leave you in the cold if you were being a brat towards him. lives in dragonspine to spite you, also because he can just turn take away your blankets and anything that can give warmth so you gotta ask him to cuddle you to survive. he usually does this when he's feeling a little petty. which is so frequent. that you can almost give it a schedule. but don't tell him that. kind of a tsundere but only when it comes to physical affection since he's shy. that's why he has to take away your blankets so it looks like he's just mocking you but not because he's touch starved. he's not at home that much too but don't worry, he will make it up to you by uh.. physical activities.. "what? you're freezing? no shit we're in dragonspine. oh? you want me to hug you..? hm. fine. I'll indulge you for a bit. I am quite merciful." parametric transformer- businessman that scams you a lot lol. he's going to be a masochist because i said so, yeah i know the electric stone thing gag that's why i made him a masochist. really likes to collect useless stuff and spoiling you, so expect your room to be filled with a lot of random things from jewelry to mushrooms and crabs. has a you should be grateful i even give stuff mindset. thinks that giving someone something of vaue would make them fall in love with him instantly. also probably loves it when you fight back especially when you successfully land a hit on him, he will enjoy it. but be careful he has different responses whenever you hit him. pick your poison. spends a ton of resources on everything to keep you in line. that rope costed him 700 pinecones. "why do you even wanna escape? i give you a ton of stuff so you won't get bored! hah. maybe if i had picked up someone else they would've been grateful." portable waypoint- throw out your escape plans the season sequel. he's very quiet but has a small temper that won't last that much. maybe he's like that since he tries so hard to repress it. listen he's trying okay? escape always fails so quickly. one minute you're in springvale shouting, crying, begging for anyone to help you and then back to his house to see him sipping some tea. his punishments are cruel too- he makes sure to leave you in a den of monsters and ruin guards, waits until your in the brink of death and teleports you back to him. has a superiority complex over everyone too. probably likes to make you feel weak when you have to rely on him. loves to crush your self esteem. wants to be affectionate but thinks that you, as an inferior being, should be affectionate with him instead. so tsun. "see? this is what i was trying to tell you. you're too weak to actually survive out there. you even had to rely on me to save you. pathetic." memento lens- mysterious and elegant. he's quite cryptic to say the least. likes to watch you from a far if he's feeling a bit angsty. you try to make sense of what he says and it just leads to you being confused even more. and he likes that about you. you actually try to understand him, even if what you guess is wrong. you're going to have a tough time with this guy if you wanna escape. just avoid any fox statues and you'll be good. the problem is the shrine maidens. they basically want the two of you to end up together so they don't have to deal with him. he's actually very gentle with you punishments still suck but atleast he doesn't do it physically, he just makes you write that you're sorry over and over until your wrist are tired. loves poetry and solving puzzles, riddles, scriptures. he's

smart but soft. "spring blossoms even in the darkest depths of uncertainty, is that why you have the courage to try and escape me..?" kamera- perfectionist stalker. wants to make sure that the photos he takes of you are perfect to every extent. colour, lighting, and expressions. even if it means going inside your room and having the possibility of waking you up from your sleep. likes to take pictures of everything too. kind of like this; both of you are walking somewhere and he stops to take a picture of a sunset. he takes twenty minutes trying to find the correct angle. but the sun is already gone so he sulks. maybe- you can cheer him up by volunteering to be his model? you'll do that? right? also worships you like a god so if someone dared to even say something breath near you or celestia forbid insult you, best to say they'll be quickly disposed of by blackmail and fake shit. would not steal any of your belongings, he would just take pictures of it. so he's not that bad. "i consider everything in this world is beautiful, but you have surpassed that. so that is why im keeping you here. no one deserves even a glimpse of you!" waverider toolbox- he's such a gentlemen and a sweetheart. always there to help you with repairs, sometimes he'd add some updates to it too. just ignore the stuff going missing inside your boat thing. he probably guilt-gaslight you into staying with him in his waverider then bam your in an island stranded. ahaha, now both of you just have to survive by working together ya know? like a loving couple likes hugs and physical affection a lot! bonus points if it's given when he's tired from doing his job. as i said tired guy so appreciates all the things you do for him whether it's paying for his meal or giving him a gift. next time, he'll make sure that you won't leave the island permanently. thinks that stranded island equals date smh. " ahh? oh! is this for me? really? thank you.. i don't usually receive gifts but that just makes this even more special! say, do you wanna go on a trip? i just fixed the waverider from last time." red feather fan- mischievous little shit. likes to scare you a lot by appearing on trees and just jumping on you. knows that you're trying to escape but pretends not to since he likes to try and guess which direction you would run to. hugs you a lot even before he kidnaps you really touchy even if you say no he'll use the good ol puppy eyes! doesn't work? okay he'll just smell your clothes when you're sleeping as compensation. he likes to flirt with you a lot. some pickup are cheesy.. but others are a little- personal? acts cool by making a dramatic entrance everytime even. you know those radical superhero landing stuff? that's him. he would build a nest as your house even being a dick and placing it on top of a mountain, goodluck on trying to get down. "caught you! going to the shore was so predictable by the way. maybe you should try a different place next time, dear? hm? maybe a restaurant so we can have date? sounds great right?" serenitea pot- unhinged malewife that wants to make a the perfect living space for you- ehem. probably a perfectionist if you squint hard enough. he's delusional but just a little lucid about the stuff he does to you. likes to make a ton of furniture too! personalized the room you're trapped in with a ton of valuable and expensive materials. just don't try to escape he'll cut your limbs off just like a damn tree shawtie. owns a shit ton of pets ranging from boars to cats. all of them are like bodyguards to you during your stay. dreams about having a peaceful life with you in the realm someday, sigh. he sometimes has burnouts where he just places a bunch of furniture on a single room and call it a day. "and here is your room! do.. do you like it? i made it just for you! i didn't know what wood you would prefer so i just settled on whatever i can find! ahaha. we're kind of like a married couple living together now... right?" nre menu- he's probably going to be from the adventurers guild. really awkward and shy. takes for him a long time to

open up to you. when going on quests he's the one in charge of carrying the food and healing shit you need. really patient and nice! slightly uh mean with other people trying to talk to you but other than that everything is normal. everything is normal the long loving gaze he gives you every now and then and some food being left on your doorstep. yeah let's not question it i mean he's just so shy! he would never do anything wrong? right?? he's a closeted pervert, cliche i know but he's a pervert with a line to not cross. he just checks you out. good for him. would cry if given any ounce of affection. sweet baby. "t-that was a tough commission.. oh u-uh.. do you need some food to replenish your energy? we need to do the other commissions you know.. hm? why aren't you eating it.. something wrong with the food..?" seelies- spoiled. that's the word to describe him. really straight forward with his courting kind of dumb? but he's so damn lucky for some unknown reason that your plans to avoid him always fail. yeah the high quality rope you just bought for 1000 mora? it broke and you fell into his arms. he's probably rich by sheer dumb luck too. finds a ton treasure chests even in the places you didn't expect. people pressure you into spending time with him. since he's just so cute! how could say no to such a face? it really feels like the gods are on his side ya know? he throws a lot of very very aggressive tantrums if you're not with him. thinks he's doing a good job at courting you, with rationalize rejection as a playing hard to get. "tada! look i got you this crystal i found while i was walking! it looks like a diamond and it has a ton of colours too?? is it valuable?? would you kiss me if i give it to you??" endora- majestic, regal, and likes to explore a lot. he uh. probably trapped you in a bubble once or twice too. really curious about his surroundings, also has no personal space since it's first time going out. he would cuddle you when he feels like it homie. kidnapped you and made you his tour guide. don't try to fool him he learns quickly about stuff. fast swimmer, so no joining any expeditions in water if you don't want their ship to be wrecked by a mysterious being of the teyvat seas. he likes to see you cry. it's not a kink he just feels connected to you when you cry. doesn't have a house so you just live in a run down boat. he's doesn't know when you're lying to him sometimes. god complex bastard. "this world. at first i wasn't sure if i was going to like it or not, but ever since I've met you... I've grown to tolerate some parts.. so you should be thankful, you've convinced me. mortal." intertwined fate/older twin- listen. he's just so smug about everything he does. and he knows you love him. probably invites you out on dinner only for him to not show up. so basically he's an asshole without a doubt. toxic boyfriend that gives you false hope and has a ton of admirers. you probably think he won't settle for you right? ah, he's not that cruel. so picks you as his lover out of all the billions of people. you should be grateful! he even kidnapped you! do you know how hard it was for him to go all the way from his home to yours? anyways yeah. asshole. he likes to do the open the door for darling trick where he just gives you a small crack on the door and watch you make a decision. it's an act of your loyalty. if you escape he'll make you feel pain. if you don't then he'll reward your patience. god complex bastard 2."sigh. did you try to escape? again? patience is the key to everything you know. maybe you should learn that. i expected more smart from you." acquaint fate/younger twin- cinnamonroll he's such a sweet guy. he's always there for you when you need him. okay- he has a nice guy complex, fucking damn it. probably uses the but I've been there for you since the start trick unintentionally a lot. he just doesn't know he wants some action, so be thankful that he didn't just jump on you like a barbarian. he's kind of contradicting himself too. one hand he wants you to love him, on the other hand he doesn't

believe he deserves you. loves to give you the same things, remember that one painting you liked from two years ago? he got you that. quantity beats quality. surprisingly, he's really patient but would have bursts of anger every now and then. has a self value issues?? yeah, but did i tell you he's a touch starved guy. punshments are just him softly lecturing you about what's good and what's wrong."i always viewed myself as inferior, that i didn't deserve anything.. but this time. i want to be greedy just once." that's it- :'D i haven't proofread this but here you go mer! ill probably continue with more humanisations of items in genshin later.. if you ask why i ruined your day with this crazy idea i was watching that one video of a person humanising social media and got this idea. also i discovered how to bold out texts... i have power..ejwjdhshaj

so yeah have a great day! -🦆anon

I AM IN AWE?!?! WHOA OMG!!!!! 🦆, THIS IS FANTASTIC!! AAAAAA (≧∀≦)

All of the various characterizations… *chef’s kiss* It’s literally so good! With each one I read I kept thinking okay this guy is my favorite and then I would read the next description and my heart was stolen again. I can’t pick a favorite now. T_T

#chit chat #yandere #🦆 anon #meraki faves #YOU HOLD SO MUCH POWER #AND YOUR BRAIN IS IMMENSELY GALAXY #BECAUSE WOW OMG I AM IN LOVE WITH THE CHARACTERIZATIONS

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sirenascales · 3 years

Text

-> double black [part four] 18+

-> Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai

-> Who knew getting fired from work could lead to this?

-> Content: SMUT, slight angst, violence, murder, swearing

The investigation continues, even if things aren't moving as smoothly as one would like. [Chuuya x 1stPOV!F!Reader x Dazai]

2,073 words

note: SMUT Like... this was an excuse to write smut with both of them okay, and totally i forgot to tag those who are on my taglist for the previous part and im so sorry lol but please enjoy!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four | Part Five | Part Six | Final || masterlist

Days have gone by and the investigation is still underway, but things weren't looking too great. There was still no confirmed DNA evidence, no weapon, not even a witness. Nothing to aid in the apprehension of Taichi's murderer.

"If only Ranpo were here," Atsushi sighed deeply, the snack loving detective out on another case that had popped up. "He would have solved this in a heartbeat."

I laughed softly, wringing my hands nervously. "It's too bad he isn't here," I said, trying to focus on the paperwork in front of me. "Surely it would make things easier for us..."

"But that'll just be boring!" Dazai exclaimed from his desk, leaning against Atsushi who just pushed him off.

"This isn't for your entertainment, Dazai! The killer could have fled the country by now," Kunikida argued, crossing his arms over his chest. "For now, we just have to stay focused and not waste time.

I nodded, slumping back in my chair and fiddling with my pen. "What the hell are we missing..."

We didn't dwell on it for much longer, since the shift ended. I sighed in relief, looking forward to just going home, eating dinner, and going to bed. The case was draining, the dead ends we kept running into just sending us back to square one. Now all I wanted was to rest for the night.

But of course, with a certain suicidal maniac, that was not happening.

"Isn't this cheating..." I gasped out softly, Dazai pressing his naked body against me from behind, his hard dick against my ass and his mouth on my neck.

"Maybe..." Dazai hummed, reaching around to grab my breasts, the soap in his hands making my skin slippery. "But there's no such thing as cheating in a fight."

I gasped sharply when Dazai pinched my nipples, eyes fluttering closed. "This isn't even a fight... you're the weirdo that wanted to turn this investigation into a game."

Leave it to Dazai to basically latch himself onto me as I made my way home. We ordered delivery, eating together on my couch and deciding to watch a movie. Before I knew it, we were making out on my couch, soon enough making our way to the shower.

The water was hot, steaming up the bathroom. Our wet hair stuck to our skin, Dazai holding onto my hips tightly as he fucked me from behind. He bit his lip in concentration, relishing in the sound of my cries echoing in the small room.

"Fuck... Osamu, you feel so good," I cried out, hands slipping on the tiled walls, trying to grab for something. Dazai just pressed his chest against my back, keeping up his rough pace as he chuckled in my ear.

"Do you like that?" "Yes!" "Of course you do, dirty little girl." Dazai reached around and grabbed my face, stuffing two fingers into my mouth. That had my eyes rolling back as I weakly sucked on his fingers, his other hand working on my clit. That finally sent me over the edge as I screamed around his fingers, body shaking as I reached my peak.

Dazai fucked me through my orgasm, ignoring my whines from the overstimulation until he quickly pulled his cock out, pumping himself a few more times before he hit his own orgasm, cumming right on my ass.

"Fuck, bella. You're so beautiful," he gasped, kissing me deeply while pulling us under the hot water.

We barely made it out of the bathroom before going at it again, Dazai fucking me against the wall in the hallway, one of my legs hooked around him while he wrapped a hand around my neck. His breath was hot against my neck, coming out in breathless pants while he continued to rail me.

"Incredible," he whispered in my ear, his hand still around my neck, keeping me in place. "And so pliable... you'll always be putty in my hands."

"Mmm!" I moaned almost pathetically. "Yes..."

"You're my pretty little subordinate?"

"Yes!"

Soon, we finally made it to my bed, where Dazai proceeded to make me ride him like my life depended on it. I was left shaking, the two of us very satisfied.

"So much for a quiet evening," I huffed a while later, the two of us finally getting clean before burying ourselves under my covers. "You are one horny bastard, Dazai."

"Says the equally horny bitch," Dazai retorted and I laughed, turning and pressing my face against the side of his neck.

It went silent, and thankfully it was a comfortable silence where we just lied there, holding onto each other. I sigh contently, fingers lazily trailing up and down his chest while I can feel the bandages on his arms against my skin.

"Dazai?"

"Hm."

"You know..." I started carefully, keeping my face pressed against him. "If you ever need to like... talk... when you're feeling... bad... I'm here for you." I bit my lip, hoping I wasn't overstepping. "I'm here. Even if it's just to listen..."

Dazai didn't say anything, and I was too freaked out to look at him. Though, after a moment, he pressed a kiss to the top of my head, giving me a nice squeeze.

"You are very kind, bella."

I frowned, cuddling up more against him. I blinked when he shifted, looking at him questionably as he set me down on the bed before he started to get up. "Where are you going?"

"To the bathroom," he grinned back at me. "I won't be long, bella. Don't miss me too much!"

I just scoffed and rolled my eyes, watching Dazai leave the bedroom before staring up at the ceiling. I waited, frown on my face growing deeper as the minutes went by, teeth chewing on my bottom lip nervously.

"Sorry, I went to get some water," Dazai then returned, quickly climbing into bed beside me. Immediately his arms are wrapped around me, holding me tight. "Let's go to sleep."

I smiled up at him, softly pressing a kiss to his lips before I settled against him, closing my eyes. "Goodnight."

Dazai watched me for a second, his lips curling up in an amused, knowing smile. "Goodnight, bella..."

"Ah... this is nerve-wracking..." Keiko mumbled softly, clinging onto my hand as we stepped up to the very familiar tall building. I gulped, nervous since the building was overrun with members of the Port Mafia.

It was the day after that night I spent with Dazai, and instead of being at work, I had received a call from an unknown number. That had turned out to be Chuuya, who ordered me to find Keiko and bring both of our asses to meet him in his office.

Chuuya wasn't just a member of the Port Mafia, but he was an executive, and he held great power. It was almost scary, especially as Keiko and I rode up the escalator to the right floor.

"I wonder what he wants..." Keiko says nervously, biting her lip as we approached the office. We finally made it and I knocked on it five times.

"Come in."

I gulped and we walked inside. Chuuya sat in his desk, and if I wasn't so nervous, I would have been drooling at how fucking fine he looked, sitting with his feet propped on the desk. He gestured to the chairs before his desk lazily. "Sit."

He mostly wanted to talk to Keiko, seeing as she was Taichi's boyfriend and to make sure she didn't tell too much info to the police or "those bastards at the ADA", as he said while shooting me a dirty look. I returned it.

"Of course not," Keiko said softly. "And I wanted to thank you for paying for his funeral. That was nice of you."

Chuuya waved her off. "It wasn't a problem. He was one of my best men." Keiko clenched her fists tightly in her lap as he said that.

"Did you find out anything? We're not having too much luck either," I spoke up, thoughtful look on my face. "Like how can you not find DNA when he was selling the drugs there? There had to have been other people." I looked over at Keiko, missing how Chuuya's eyes went wide before he narrowed them at me.

"It's pissing me off how hard this is," he said rather stiffly, still watching me. "At the end of the day, this might just end up closing as a cold case... but like hell will I forget this." Chuuya clenched his fists, a look of anger and determination on his face. "But we are done here. Well, I'm done with you, Keiko. I still need to speak with her." He was looking right at me.

Keiko gave me a knowing look and a wink and I just playfully shoved her towards the door. "I'll see you later, okay?" I said and she nodded before walking out. Turning back to Chuuya, I watched him get up from his desk. "So what else did you wanna talk about?" I asked, tilting my head as Chuuya walked around the desk and towards me, not answering.

"Um? Hel-mmph!"

Chuuya gripped the back of my neck, pulling me in for a deep, breathtaking kiss. I cupped his face, kissing him back just as deeply. He turned us around so as he walked me backwards with his lips still on mine, I bumped right against his desk, which he sat me on.

"You came in here in this sexy ass dress and expect me not to fuck you?" Chuuya growled, kissing down my neck as his hands moved up my dress. He smirked as he massaged my thighs, quickly finding my knife and removing it. "This is a beautiful knife," he hummed, inspecting it. I smiled softly, weakly reaching to grab it but Chuuya just flicked it, the blade neatly embedding itself right on his desk. "You take great care of it."

"Well, that was my first knife..." I said softly, desperately wanting my knife back, but that went out the window once Chuuya kissed me again.

My legs soon found themselves wrapped around Chuuya's hips. His pants were pushed down just enough to free his cock, my panties pushed to the side as he fucked me right on top of his desk.

"Fuck, dollface, you're even better than I fucking remembered," Chuuya hissed, pushing me on my back, on top of his messy papers. He tossed one of my legs over his shoulder, squeezing his gloved fingers into my flesh as I could only moan and whine in pleasure, his thrusts hitting hard and deep inside me, I was seeing stars.

"S-so much for... only one time, huh," I managed to choke out, my head tossing back as Chuuya hit that one spot. "Oh, fuck!"

"Yeah, shut up and take this cock," Chuuya hissed. His thumb pressed against my clit, and that was enough to have me squeezing him tight as I hit my orgasm, legs shaking and loud cries leaving my mouth.

That got him going and soon, Chuuya was pulling out and I was on my knees, fisting his cock and letting Chuuya cum in my mouth. Chuuya petted my hair, a blissed out look on his face. "Good girl. Now, bend yourself over the desk."

With shaking knees, I got myself up and bent over Chuuya's desk like he ordered, displayed all nice and pretty for him. I looked back over my shoulder, shuddering at how he looked at me, blue eyes full of hunger as he bit on his lower lip. His leather clad hands started to squeeze my ass, moving one hand up until he's pressing on the middle of my back, guiding his cock against my entrance with his other hand.

We borh groaned in pleasure as he started pushing himself in, Chuuya tossing his head back with a hiss. "Fuck, I'll never get tired of this." He starts thrusting his hips, moaning again at the feel of my walls around him. "Fuck, fuck..."

"It's all yours..." I could only babble out, the feel of him stretching me nice and good frying my brain. "Chuuya, please, oh my God..."

After two more soul shattering orgasms, I was finally allowed to leave... if I even could. There was a smug grin on Chuuya's face as he just stared at me. I sat in the chair across from him, the two of us dressed, but he looked like a damn model while I looked like I had a run in with the giant industrial fans they had in elementary school cafeterias during the warmer days.

"Get that dumb look off your face," I whined. "It's not fair. I looked like I got attacked."

Chuuya snickered. "I mean... that's not so far off."

I rolled my eyes. "Ugh, you and Dazai are so unbelievably horny, it's sad."

Chuuya growled. "First off, don't talk about him around me. And second, who was the one begging to titfuck my cock?"

I scoffed, face hot and I turned my nose up at him. "Shut up."

"Just go home."

"Fine. You guys are still cheaters anyway," I said before standing up. I walked over to him, leaning over his desk and I was happy when he met me halfway and gave me a kiss. "Call me again. Maybe when there isn't a weird investigation going on."

Chuuya rolled his eyes, shooing me away. "Just go."

I giggled softly before turning and walking out of the office. Chuuya sighed deeply, opening one of his desk drawers. He stared at the object inside of it for a moment, sighing again before grabbing his pack of cigarettes, taking one and lighting it up before taking a long drag.

-End

tags in replies!

#bsd x reader #dazai x reader #chuuya x reader #dazai smut #chuuya smut #bsd smut #yee fucking haw more smut bc i am a heathen straying further away from God #oh to be the reader sigh

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ambivalent-anarchy · 4 years

Text

Star Wars 101 (Ch. 2) Episode IV - A New Hope

Masterlist

Gender: Female

Pairing: Peter Parker x reader

Wow, I didn't realize how much I'd written until I hit the tumblr limit. Hope you like it! Comment your thoughts!

Chapter Summary: Steve just wants to do his job, the avengers are the best wingmen, Scott doesn't like porn, and [y/n] thinks all nerds are freaky

~~~

sci-fi boi: okay which cartoon rivalry was better?? Popeye the sailor man and Bluto or Tom and Jerry?

crackhead [y/n]: dude.

crackhead [y/n]: how is that even a question??? Obviously Tom and Jerry lol

sci-fi boi: explanation pls

crackhead [y/n]: popeye and bluto were always fighting over that girl olive and some other stupid crap but with my two furry buddies it was no talk pete no discussions just murder attempts ON SIGHT. Tell me they don't go harder than any other rivalry

sci-fi boi: haha truuuu

~~~

"Are we boring you, Queens?"

Peter's head snapped up quickly, discreetly turning his phone off underneath the meeting table. "Um-huh? No no no, Mr. Rogers I'm listening. Sorry."

Steve shook his head and continued to speak as he pointed to the pictures on the screen at the end of the room. All of the Avengers of Earth were there, some half asleep, while the others either joked or listened intently.

In two short days, they were going to be taking back powerful tech that Martin Li(aka: Mr. Negative)'s "demons" had stolen from Stark Industries. A simple "get in and get out".

They'd known this plan for some days now, yet Steve insisted on calling meetings to go over it again and again.

Feeling a quick vibration go off in his hand, Peter instinctively looked back down at his phone to see a snapchat text notification from you.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: According to all known laws of aviation, there is no way a bee should be able to fly. Its wings are too small to get its fat little body off the ground. The bee, of course, flies anyway because bees don't care what humans think is impossible🐝...

~~~

Peter shook his head slightly as he chuckled, a smile shamelessly creeping onto his face.

~~~

sci-fi boi: did you really just quote the bee movie at me???😂😂

~~~

"Hey spidey-boy, would you mind sharing to the class what's so hilarious?" Rhodey's voice rang out loud and clear from across the table.

Quick as lightning, Peter turned his phone off and buried it in between his thighs, realizing that he hadn't been as quiet as he'd thought. To his luck, everyone’s eyes were trained on him now.

“It's n-nothing!” Peter squeaked, his voice breaking embarassingly. He shoved his phone into his pocket in fear of someone snatching it from him.

Natasha rolled her eyes and smirked. "So what're you looking at down there?"

"I-i, uh, I was just um, w-watching a funny- very funny video actually-"

"C'mon guys!," Sam laughed, clapping his hands together. "Don't tease the kid. We all know what he was smiling at down there!"

At that, Peter practically choked. "WHAT?!"

Tony snickered. "Personally, I don't think two inches is something to be proud of, but alright."

Peter's eyes widen, nearly falling out of his skull by the looks of it. "I-it's not two inches a-and I wasn't looking at-!"

"Jesus christ, guys..." Bruce sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. "He was obviously just doing something on his phone. Leave the poor guy alone."

Peter coughed as he saw Steve glare at him with that infamous 'Im Captain America and Im judging you' glare. Phones weren't allowed in the meeting room. Well, they weren't supposed to be. No one ever really followed that rule except Peter. But he'd already been so deep in his conversation with you that he just couldn't put his phone down. "No no, um, I wasn't.. I was just zoning out, y'know, and I just happened to be looking-"

"-at your phone?," Steve cut in to ask.

"-at your dick," Rhodey stated at the same time.

"-at porn," Tony said with an all-knowing smile, causing everyone at the table to turn towards either him or Peter, whose face was beet red with embarrassment.

"Peter please tell us you weren't watching porn," Scott begged, his jaw completely dropped. "I mean, no judgment but-"

"Full judgement, actually," Clint corrected, an extremely disturbed look on his face. "Seriously, what were you doing, kid? You gotta tell us now with all these assumptions being thrown around."

"Curious," Thor stated, leaning back in his chair. "What is porn?"

"Something that I definitely WAS NOT watching!," Peter responded as he practically slammed his face into the table and slapped his hands over his eyes. "Does it even matter what I was doing anyway?," he mumbled into the table.

Natasha raised an eyebrow, blowing the smoke off of her coffee. "People usually aren't this defensive when they're telling the truth, Peter."

Peter shrunk into his seat with a loud groan. Can I die. Can I please just die. Like why am I seriously even alive right now??? Some bad guy please just burst through the door and maim me please.

"F.R.I.D.A.Y. pull up Parker's phone," Tony commanded once the commotion in the room died down.

Peter quickly lifted his head. "Wait, what?!"

"Accessing Peter Parker's mobile device, sir," F.R.I.D.A.Y. responded. "Would you like for me to transfer the screen to the meeting board?"

Tony looked back with a laugh to see a frozen, slack-jawed Peter. He turned back around. "Yeah sure, F.R.I.D.A.Y., what the heck let's have fun."

"No wait- are you seriously hacking into my phone right now?!"

"Well why're you so tense, Parker?," Sam asked teasingly. "Thought you had nothing to hide?"

"I-i don't!," he stammered. "I-it's just..." he trailed off, looking for the right words to say. "..that's my private property," he said lamely while staring at the wall.

Tony stared back at him. "Well that's the dumbest excuse I've ever heard." He pointed towards the board. "Alright it's coming up."

Scott closed his eyes. "Oh God, please don't be porn.."

Peter rolled his eyes. Everyone else looked to the large board, fully expecting to see either porn or just some stupid game the boy had been playing.

But none of them expected him to be texting a girl.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: hey u still there?

~~~

"Who's crackhead [Y/N]?," Natasha asked.

Scott turned to Rhodes who was sitting on the side of him. "Is that some trashy porn star?," he whispered.

"Why're you asking me like I know?"

"It's this girl from school.." Peter answered, blushing profusely.

"And you like her," Natasha noted, watching his body language intently.

The boy's eyes widened. "N-no I don't!"

"Why crackhead though?," Rhodey asked, crinkling his nose.

Peter shrugged. "That's what she wanted her name to be," here responded. "Thought it was funny."

Steve rolled his eyes. "Just like you thought 'sci-fi boi' was funny?" Shaking his head, he changed focused. "Guys, are we gonna get back to work or not?"

"Not," Tony answered as he scrolled up all the way to the beginning of the messages from early that morning. "So, you've been texting this girl today off and on since..." He checked the time. "Five in the morning?"

Clint chuckled. "Oh yeah, huge crush."

“No!” Peter protested, his voice an octave too high. Realizing that it isn’t working, he decided to try a different technique. Clearing his throat, he tried to sound and act as nonchalant as possible. “She’s just a friend from school.”

"She's first on your best friends list, even over that computer kid you practically live with. And you and her practically snap each other nonstop."

Peter scratched his nose. "W-well that's only cuz Ned doesn't like to text much."

Bruce took his glasses off and sighed, realizing there was no way this meeting was getting back on topic. "Look Pete," he said. "Friends don't do that. I've seen it all before. If you and this girl are talking on a daily basis all throughout the day starting at five in the morning?" He titled his head in a suggestive way, though Peter stared back at him blankly.

"What?," Peter asked.

"Oh my God, kid," Bruce sighed.

Tony held his head back and laughed. "It means either she likes you and your just too dense, you like her but won't admit it and she's just concerningly nice, or you both like each other and just won't make your moves!"

Sam, who hadn't lifted his eyes from the board the entire time, spoke up. "And judging by these texts, you already got her, it's just not official yet."

Tony kept scrolling. "You two went to winter formal together?"

"Yeah... but as friends," Peter said with a shrug.

Steve cleared his throat loudly, gaining the attention of everyone in the room at once. He looked at Peter who was doing everything here could not to look him in the eye. "Look, as much as I would love to talk about Peter's sad love life, we have a mission-"

"-that will still be there tomorrow, Cap," Bucky finished for him. "C'mon we've been going over this stuff for hours. Let us have this distraction."

Everyone looked to him, Tony feigning a puppy dog expression. Crossing his arms, he left the room. "Fine, but when someone gets hurt because they didn't know where they were supposed to go, don't blame me."

"...literally no one's ever blaming you, man," Sam said.

Suddenly, the screen lit up and F.R.I.D.A.Y. spoke. "Sir, Peter Parker has a new message."

Everyone looked to the board. "Oh my gosh, oh my gosh. Scroll down, Mr. Stark. Scroll down!," Peter yelled frantically. "What's she saying?"

Natasha smirked. "And you're sure you don't like her, Peter?"

His face flushed. "Okay fine...I might have a tiny crush-"

"I'm sorry I can't hear you," Tony cut in. "Can you say that agai-"

"-I SAID YEAH I REALLY LIKE THIS GIRL!," Peter finally yelled with his eyes squeezed shut. He kept them closed for about twenty seconds afterwards, afraid of the judging faces he would see if he opened them.

He carefully opened his eyes to see all of the avengers (minus Cap) staring back at him with stupid smiles and smirks on their faces.

"Well, that's all I needed to hear," Tony said. He clapped his hands together. "Okay everybody, first order of business, checking the text. Sam, you're our reader."

"Got it."

"What?," Peter yelled, reaching for his phone. Tony dodged him and gave it to Sam. "Mr. Stark, I can text a girl on my own. I don't need help."

"Nat, you're our timer. Make sure none of the responses take longer than a minute. We don't want the girl to get bored and go on to something else."

"Check."

"Mr. Stark, c'mon-"

"Sam, you explain stuff to lightning head over here if he doesn't understand it. This could be learning moment for ole Shakespeare. Thor, you listen to Sam."

"Right."

"On it."

"Everyone else, you're with me. We gotta find the perfect thing to say to this girl. I've got a feeling this is probably the only chance he's gonna have to get a girl in a long time."

Rhodes, Scott, Clint, Bruce, and Wanda looked to each other and nodded.

"And Pete?"

Peter raised his head. "Yes sir?"

"You know this girl more than anybody here does, so you tell us if what we say is appropriate for her or not."

Peter rolled his eyes and nodded. After all, what's the worst that can happen?

Tony pointed to Sam. "Okay, read it."

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: u going to flash's party on saturday??

~~~

"She wants to know if the kid's going to some party Saturday."

Tony turned to the boy. "You're going," her demanded.

Flash was the most popular douchebag in school. Totally rich and totally rude and totally determined to use his every breath to spite Peter. "I wasn't even invited," Peter mumbled, shooting a glare towards Sam when he heard him laughing.

"Well get invited," Tony ordered. "A party is the perfect place to make a move. Send yes."

~~~

sci-fi boi: yes

~~~

"Mr. Stark, how am I supposed to get into this party? Flash hates me! And if I crash it and Flash sees me, he's gonna make sure everyone thinks I'm a loser!"

Tony rolled his eyes and sighed. "Peter we're trying to help you here. Figure that part out on your own."

Peter sighed, leaning forward in his chair. The last thing he wanted was another assignment, even if it wasn't actually an assignment. On the plus side, he'd get to see you, and maybe have some fun if he actually tried to enjoy himself.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: cool so i guess ill go too

~~~

Rhodey chuckled while shaking his head. "Kid, if you don't ask this chick out the second you see her again, I'm gonna bodyslam you."

Peter frowned. "What do you mean?"

Bruce smiled. "Whether or not she went to the party was depending on if you were going," he pointed out.

"This girl used to be like that with me back in college," Scott said with a shrug. "Thought she liked me. Turned out she just had social anxiety..."

"Yeah you're really not helping this, bugman," Tony said.

"Wait, you guys think [Y/N] actually likes me back?," Peter asked, getting groans and laughs in return.

"Where have you been the last few minutes?," Natasha said.

"We've literally been saying that this entire time," Sam deadpanned.

Peter stared at his feet below the table. If the team was right, and you did actually like him back, then the movie marathon he was planning was the perfect excuse to hang out with you. "I-i think I might have a plan!," he rushed out, his head flying up. He pointed to Sam. "Ask her if she's free tonight!"

"Yes!," Thor yelled, his fists pumped into the air. "The spider child has grown his man balls!"

"Now that's what I'm talking about." Sam nodded approvingly as he texted.

~~~

sci-fi: r u free tonight??😉

~~~

"Wait hold on," Peter said, suddenly rushing towards the phone in a frantic manner. "Why is there a winking emoji?! I didn't say anything about a winking emoji!"

Sam raised an eyebrow. "I thought you were flirti-"

Peter groaned. "Delete it, man. Delete it before her bitmoji pops up!"

"Okay okay, dang kid," Sam chuckled, quickly deleting the text and replacing it with one without a winking emoji. "There. And ya girl didn't even see it."

"Hey guys," Scott said. "I know we're all freaking out and stuff. But honestly, I'm just glad he wasn't watching porn." He shrugged. "So no matter what happens with this girl, today's still an absolute win."

It went on like this for a solid thirty minutes.

~~~

crackhead [y/n]: yeah wassup

sci-fi boi: wanna come over and watch movies?

crackhead [y/n]: sure what're we watching

sci-fi boi: we can decide that when u get here. how about 4??

crackhead [y/n]: alright sure

~~~

"Okay, last thing," Tony said. "We need a sly compliment. Something not that special about her, but enough to show her that you're tuned in. Gets them every time, trust me."

Natasha rolled her eyes. "Wow, lady-killer."

Tony pointed towards her and shrugged. "She said it, not me."

Thor looked to Peter. "So, young spider. What have you observed about your darling love?"

Peter blushed, almost wanting to comment on the Thor's word choice but ultimately deciding not to. "Well, um, her eyes light up a lot when she gets excited and it's really dorky in a cute kind of way I guess," he mumbled, scratching his head.

"Alright I got it," Sam said, typing the words in. He lifted his shoulders into a shrug. "Who knows, kid? There be some hope for you."

~~~

sci-fi boi: btw how do you get ur eyes to sparkle so bright when u get happy about stuff? Just thinking about it lol its cute

~~~

Peter blew out a shaky breath as he looked back over the set-up he'd made in the living room.

He'd cleared out space to build a super huge homemade blanket fort and inside it at the end was his tv. Towards the middle were all of pillows he could find inside the house and at the other end were snacks. All around the inside were fairy lights because he knew you liked them, though personally he found them cliche.

He spent about an hour on the whole set and an additional thirty minutes stressing over and making sure everything was safe (with all three fairy lights and tv cords). The last thing he needed was for the both of you to catch on fire while watching the movie.

The two of you were going to be watching Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope (or as normal 'not-nerds' like to call it, "the first one"). Of course, he hadn't told the team that. If they'd known what movie he'd planned on showing her, high chances are they wouldn't have even let him out of Avengers tower. But if Peter was gonna be forced to hang out with someone (not that he was really complaining), he would at least pick the film.

Finally checking all the boxes in his head for the night, Peter went to go check the DVD before he heard your knock at the door.

"Coming!," he yelled, quickly chucking the disc into the DVD player. He ran to the door and opened it with an awkward smile. "Uh, hey [Y/N]."

"Hey," you said back, already sort of blushing. "How's it going?"

Peter stared. Are your eyebrows done or are they just naturally that nice? He found his voice after abruptly noticing that he was staring. "Uh-well. It's been going great! How's it going for y-you also as well?" He frowned. "I-i mean, what's been going on with your life lately? No, that's dumb. I meant-"

"Peter, Peter! Calm down, dude," you giggled. "I've been fine."

"Oh," he chuckled. "That's good... d-do you wanna come in?"

"Question. What're we watching, Peter?," you asked, a smile playing on your face. Considering what you remembered from the last time you were at his house, and the fort you could get a peek of from the doorframe, you figured it was special for the nerdy boy. Plus his shirt had Yoda on it.

Freakin' Star Wars.

Immediately, a wide grin spread across his face. "Remember what you promised me we'd watch?"

You rolled your eyes, stepping past him into his living room. "Yeah yeah, whatever. Time to get nerdy I guess."

"Come on, you'll love it,"Peter said, quickly closing the door behind them and then briskly running towards the fort to hold up the side blankets for you. "So, snacks and drinks are beside us. We'll chill on these blankets here. And...um, yeah. That's about it." After stepping outside for a bit to go turn off the lights(for the full "movie theater" experience), Peter laid down on his belly, reaching for the DVD player to press play.

You watched as he fumbled with the wires, making sure the DVD player was plugged in before turning it on. Has your jawline always been that sharp?

You couldn't quite place it, but his texts from before seemed.. weird. But not a bad weird at all. A good, intriguing weird.

And that compliment was pretty nice, but odd for Peter. Sure, he complimented you often, but it just felt different this time. Usually it'd be something like, "new dress?" or "nice shoes". But never "you're eyes sparkle when you get excited." Heck, you didn't even know that about you. Was he paying attention? Did that mean he-

You remember how he acted about Liz Allen and Michelle Jones. Always staring. Never able to even say a full sentence in front of them without stuttering up a storm.

But he was so comfortable about you for the most part. You were just a friend.

"Okay got it," Peter said, laughing excitedly as the screen in front of him lit up. He scooted back to where you were sat. "Prepare to have your mind blown."

The Fort quickly became dark as the Lucasfilm logo shined on the screen.

"I seriously dou-"

"Shhh!," he cut you off. "Wait for it..."

You gave him a look but joined him in his silence to see what he was waiting for.

BUMMMMM buh buh bummmm

Practically jumping on top of him, you flinched at the loud and sudden music. "Crap dude! Turn it down!"

Peter shook his head, reaching for a soda. "You have to get the full effect, [Y/N]!," he laughed. "Just embrace it." He began to sing with the music and mime crazy gestures as if he were directing an orchestra.

Duh duh duh DUH DUHHHHHHHH

Halfway through he stopped and recited the opening crawl, his eyes glued to the screen with a sort of focus that made you sure that not only was this not foreign to him, he probably did this every other week.

"It is a period of civil war," he mumbled, throwing some popcorn into his mouth. "Rebel spaceships, striking from a hidden base, have won their first victory against the evil Galactic- [Y/N] you have to watch the words, I swear it'll make the whole experience better." It went on for a little while longer until he paused the movie and looked over at you, cowering a bit. "D-do I have something on my face?"

"Huh? Nah you're good," you said, realizing he'd noticed you staring. "It's just-" you remembered his text from earlier. "-you got really excited... It-um..it was cute."

Because of the darkness(the only lighting being from the tv), you couldn't see if Peter blushed or not, but you could clearly see the stupid grin plastered on his face that he was trying to hide from you with his hand. Repeatedly licking his lips as a desperate attempt to stop smiling as he pressed play on the remote control. "A-ah, um, thanks [Y/N]."

The opening crawl was over and soon the movie actually began, showing a huge spaceship.

"That's the imperial star destroyer," Peter whispered, never taking his eyes off the screen. "They belong to the empire." He saw your blank expression, wide eyes as he realized that meant nothing to you. "Uh, the bad guys."

You squinted your eyes at the screen, silently judging the graphics of the energy blasts- space bullets?- or whatever they were supposed to be. "Pete, when was this movie made?"

"1977."

"Oh okay," you said, deciding to give it some leeway for the trash designs.

You scooted a little closer to your friend, figuring you'd get a little bit more comfortable.

Oh how he wished you hadn't done that.

Nothing like actual, physical contact with a girl that you like and you think she might like you back to actually manage to distract you from one of your favorite movies ever.

He froze, not wanting to pull away and offend you, but definitely not wanting to stay because just being this close to you was making his mind run wild.

Does she actually like me back? What if Mr. Stark and the team only said that to get me to make a fool of myself? She's too comfortable with me. She just sees me as a friend. Or maybe she likes me and she's just really chill about it? Ooh my gosh and she's leaning on me right now. What am I 'sposed to do?? I don't know I don't know I don't know!!!!!!!!!

Deciding for a quick compromise, he got up completely to reach for another soda, though his sprite was still half finished. When he sat back down, he wasn't as close. Hopefully, you'd just see it as natural human behaviour and not him wanting to be away from you.

Course you would see it that way, wouldn't you?

"Oh my gosh I recognize someone! That's R2D2, right?!" You pointed wildly, glad to not be completely clueless for once with this nerd crap.

"Yeah that's R2," Peter responded, letting out a secret sigh of relief, thankful for the distraction.

"A-and that's that gold dude!"

"Yeah, C-3PO."

"And oh crap that's Princess Leia!," you shouted. "Fucking feminist icon!"

Peter tilted his head. "Wait, how would you know that if you've never watched this?"

You laughed. "I still have access to the internet, doofus! Scroll down the nerdy feminist side of tumblr and Leia is literally everywhere."

Peter chuckled as he finally finished his sprite. "Okay. Valid."

Since that, you stopped talking for a bit. Part of you actually did figure that since you're here, you might as well actually try to enjoy the movie and maybe find out what the fans actually see in it that makes them like it so much. The other part just really didn't want to annoy Peter while he was watching his favorite movie series.

But sometimes you just have to say something.

"Hold up, wait. Isn't that his sister? Oh my God, Pete I swear somebody told me before that Leia was Luke's twin!"

Peter shrugged while nodding. "Well, that's a bit of a spoiler, but yeah. What about it?"

"Oh my gosh, Pete- what about it?! Dude, he's literally making 'fuck me' eyes at his own sister! He's all like, 'ooh you're so sexy I'm gonna bone you all over the galaxy'. That's freaky!"

You grabbed the remote and began to rewind it.

"C'mon now [Y/N]," he explained. "He didn't call her sexy. He said she was beautiful. Sexy is wayyy different from beautiful. You can think your family members are beautiful can't you?"

You paused it once you got to where you wanted.

"Okay Parker, look at that. Look at that and tell me Lukes's not totally undressing her with his eyes!" You pointed at Peter's face with a goofy smile on yours. "Oh wow, I've finally figured you people out now."

Peter's head cocked to the side. "Figured out what?"

"Star Wars nerds are a bunch of horny kids that like that step-sibling porn stuff but can't watch that in front of their parents so they have to use an alternative!"

Peter fell on his back with laughter, practically rolling around like a pig. "[Y/N], what?!"

You gave him an incredulous look. "Who else likes to see two siblings bang each other, Peter?!"

At that he pointed back at you while picking up his other soda. "To be fair, they never do that with each other. They only kiss, like twice and that's it. And one of them is only to make Han Solo mad."

"Oh yeah, I forgot about the Han Solo guy. Where is he anyway?"

Peter smiled. "Well, we're only twenty mintues in. He'll come soon."

To tell the truth, Peter really didn't even know what part you were at. His eyes were watching the screen but nothing was being comprehended. The only thing he could manage to think about was all the tiny things that were going on over on your side of the fort. Did you notice him staring? Was Tony right and you were just concerningly nice?

"I love how everybody at this bar is so chill south everything that's happening. It's like oh wow this guy just shot this green dude at table 8 and nope we totally don't care," you joked, pulling Peter out of his trance. He reminded himself that he should probably try to pay more attention. He didn't want to ruin the movie for you in case you had any questions.

But eventually, like all things do, the movie came to an end.

"So, how'd you like it?," Peter said while neither one of you made a move to leave the dark fort. You were laid out in practically a starfish-type position while he was sitting Indian-style.

You smirked. "I'll admit, it was pretty nice for a movie made in 1977. Still a bit lame though," you teased, pinching your fingers together with a giggle. Suddenly, you gasped. "Ooh, Vader was pretty lit though! Just straight force-choking people who disagree with you is such a power move."

Peter rolled his eyes and scoffed lightly. "Typical..."

"Excuse me?"

He bit back a quick smile. "Look, I'm not saying that Darth Vader isn't awesome. Because he is! Totally and completely but [Y/N], you do realize that in literally every movie we watch you like the villains?," he said, raising an eyebrow.

"Because the villains are awesome!," you defended.

"Just saying. I'm sensing a bit of a pattern...," he teased.

You scoffed. "This coming from the guy who actually feels bad about some the people crashing into things when we're watching Ridiculousness," you said, reminding in how Peter was forever the relentless sap. "Well, while you're so busy judging me, whose your favorite character?"

At that, he gave a small sincere smile. "Ben. He's really cool."

"Ben Kenobi? The old guy that literally let himself die? But why?"

He shrugged, the small grin still present on his face. "Eh, sentimental reasons..."

He watched you return his sweet smile and it was then and there when Peter really felt content with the night. Though, you hadn't even known the weight his words carried, he did. Ned was the only other person who knew about it. But Peter knew right then and there that if you had asked, he'd tell you. And he knew you'd understand. Maybe you were just nice. Or maybe you did like him back. But in that moment, Peter didn't care. He just wanted to be here with you. Lost in the warm smell of popcorn and your vanilla perfume, watching a Star Wars movie with Uncle Ben surely smiling down from Heaven. And it gave Peter hope that maybe, just maybe, this was a step in the right direction.

2 hours (and five minutes) down. 22 hours (and forty seven mintues) to go...

---------------------------------------

Taglist: @underoosjae @spn-assemble-seven @of-your-eyes-begonia-skies @parkerpeter24 , @audreylovespidey706

59 notes · View notes

omglr · 5 years

Conversation

dumb as bricks dude

You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You both like feminism.

Stranger: hi

You: hi

Stranger: asl

You: 32 F

Stranger: m 22 canada

You: cool, i am also in canada

Stranger: Vancouver

You: Toronto

Stranger: cool

Stranger: Feminist?

You: yes

You: you?

Stranger: im a man so... DUH.. NO

You: kurt cobain was a feminist

Stranger: never knew that

Stranger: our retard PM is a feminist.

You: eh... is he though?

Stranger: claims to be but hes useless regardless

You: yeah

Stranger: so why are you a sexist?

You: lol

You: in what way?

Stranger: feminism is hatred of men

You: i like kurt cobain

Stranger: hes dead

You: yeah, he was good dude though

Stranger: yeah.. but feminist men are pathetic

You: mmmmeh

You: it kinda sounds like you're the one who is sexist?

Stranger: how so?

You: cause you think that feminism is about the hatred of men, and that men who are feminists aren't manly enough

Stranger: exactly

You: and that says something about how much you value women

Stranger: feminism is about female superiority and any man who supports it needs to grow a pair of balls and realize hes the superior one

Stranger: I dont value women.

You: yeah

You: so you are sexist

Stranger: and women dont value men so...

You: mmmm, that's also pretty obviously wrong

Stranger: sure

Stranger: lets say a woman has a boyfriend.

then she meets a better looking, stronger richer man whos showing interest in her, shes dumping the current BF for the new guy.

You: women rarely value sexist men, so maybe you just didn't recognize that your attitude was effecting how people treat you and creating a feedback loop

Stranger: LOL I avoid women now

You: yeah, maybe you need to get a hobby?

Stranger: I have hobbies

Stranger: I've had 3 girlfriends, and guess what

You: are you MTGOW now?

Stranger: yeah.

Stranger: its freedom

You: have you considered castration?

Stranger: why...

You: that's freedom from sexual needs

Stranger: I can jerk off

You: focus on playing the chello or whatever

Stranger: sure

Stranger: if women were not so shallow and heartless I wouldnt be MGTOW

You: i think that's the self fulfilling prophesy speaking

Stranger: well, im not good looking, im not 6'2 and I dont make $100K a year after taxes, im of no interest to a woman .

You: you're 22 though

Stranger: I know. and?

You: dudes still look like teenagers at that point

You: at like 35 you're probably gonna look pretty good

Stranger: not really, people have guess that im 30...

You: eh, i mean, it just seems like you are giving up too early and getting advice from other dudes who also gave up

Stranger: I gave up 3 years ago

You: you are gonna let a teenager tell you how to live?

Stranger: no

Stranger: I decide how I live

You: yeah but its never to late to change directions

Stranger: also, my dream job is bus driver, I cant say how it is at the TTC, but here, the pay is awesome, the benefits are great, the pension is fat, once im older and driving a bus women will probably want me, but not for me, for the perks that come from being with me, the fat pay checks, the family benefits etc

You: yeah that sounds good

You: go for it

Stranger: yeah, so, sorry girls, im not interested in you.

You: its ok not to be interested in girls

Stranger: im not gay

Stranger: im just not a betabux

You: it is a bit weird to think women are mostly interested in money though

Stranger: but its the truth

You: like, women are interested in feeling secure

Stranger: because god forbid she has to work to support herself

You: and couples who are financially insecure tend to have a hard time unless they work together

Stranger: ok

You: like most women have goals and shit they want to do with their lives, no body is really expecting to be a stay at home mom in this economy

Stranger: i know

Stranger: but they want a man to get the money to pay the bills while her money goes for fun stuff

You: i've never been in a relationship like that

Stranger: then you've never been married

You: i have been married

You: have you?

Stranger: FUCK NO

Stranger: why would I do that?

You: it just seems like you were speaking from some authority

Stranger: I know what a marriage is like

You: how?

Stranger: by listening to other men

Stranger: its bullshit, nothing but being controlled by a wife

You: lol, ok

You: those dudes probably shouldn't be married

Stranger: and she'll get bored and cheat sooner or later

You: did your parents get divorced?

Stranger: never married

You: where they partners?

You: were^

Stranger: they were dating.

Stranger: Anyway the 3 girlfriends i had were nothing but lying whores

You: and this was before you were 19?

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: your point?

You: teenagers are dipshits

Stranger: sure

You: and treat eachother terribly

Stranger: thats odd, I treated them fine, I guess im just smarter than they are

You: mmmm, maybe

Stranger: obviously

You: you sound pretty arrogant though

Stranger: oh well

Stranger: women need to learn how to respect men and how to treat a BF

You: ehhhhhh ok, what do men need to do?

Stranger: nothing, they are fine

You: how come their needs aren't being met then?

Stranger: because women dont value men

You: perhaps...

You: but maybe its because men need to learn how to communicate?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: woman -is mad-

man "are you ok"

woman- still mad- "im fine"

but men cant communicate... ok then

You: like the men who are married and being controlled by their wives and are expected to pay the bills and shit

Stranger: its either that or get divorced and pay alimony and child support

You: could have had conversations with their partners about responcibilities

Stranger: LOL a woman taking equal responsibility

You: eh, unpaid labour is often taken for granted by dudes

Stranger: aww, did she make dinner?

You: shrug, i don't know, I'm giving you a lot here

You: but its boring me,

Stranger: well women are boring

You: like, you can keep repeating sexist shit until you die alone and unloved

You: like, i don't care, really

Stranger: im not good looking, im not worth of love

You: dude your self esteem is bonkers

You: stop listening to men who tell you shit like that

Stranger: but they are right

You: stop listening to women who tell you shit like that

Stranger: but women know what women like

You: focus on your bus goal, read some fiction by diverse authors, take a fucking pottery class, stay off incel and mgtow message boards

Stranger: but MGTOW and Incel is the truth

Stranger: I am an incel

You: get your shit together, drop your shit attitude and stereotype nonsense, and change your stupid life

Stranger: nah

Stranger: I live the truth

You: next time i'm in vancouver I'm gonna slap the shit out of any busdrivers over 6 feet

Stranger: have fun judging their height when they are sitting, plus any new buses purchased after 2018 have a driver barrier

You: they all take smoke breaks

Stranger: no

You: ok, well, i'm not actually going to, i forgot what the point of that comment was

Stranger: lol

Stranger: I'll be too busy driving to have a relationship

You: maybe go see a dominatrix or something where the value exchange of sex for money is clear and you don't have to get all resentful about it

Stranger: nah, I like keeping my money

You: mmmm you ever go on rollercoasters?

Stranger: long ago

You: you ever go for a fancy dinner or a 3d movie?

Stranger: no and yes

You: back massage or dentist appointment?

Stranger: no

You: yeah, 22 and you haven't seen a dentist?

Stranger: well long ago

You: before you had to pay for it?

Stranger: yeah

You: you still got your wisdom teeth?

Stranger: nope

You: lol, lucky you have a mom to take care of your teeth

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: Anyway when im driving a bus I wont have time for dating

You: oh yeah?

Stranger: yah

Stranger: there is so much available OT to do so when will I have time to try (and fail) to get a girl

You: when you are walking your dog in the park

You: like a responsible adult

Stranger: I dont care for pets

You: ok, well, i've spent a lot of time here trying to problem solve your stupid shit, do you have any questions about feminism?

Stranger: why is feminism even needed?

You: to fight for the rights of the marginalized and prevent social regression

Stranger: sounds BS

You: meh

You: its pretty awesome honestly

Stranger: not its not

Stranger: women are not oppressed, they are just greedy and demanding

You: lol, but imagine their was a mgtow/incel support group for woman

Stranger: nope

You: except not shitty

Stranger: sure

Stranger: dating is shit

You: https://www.mmiwg-ffada.ca/

Stranger: what is that?

You: website for missing and murdered indigenous women and girls

Stranger: dont care

You: ok, so you don't care about the parts of society where women are oppressed

Stranger: nope

You: no wonder you didn'

You: t notice

Stranger: ever seen a homeless man?

You: yeah dude

Stranger: "oppressed" men

You: capitalism man and conservative pollitics man

Stranger: ok?

You: socialist feminism is about getting the needs of homeless men met

Stranger: nope

Stranger: socialism is bullshit

You: lol

You: but a workers union for bus drivers?

Stranger: yes

You: bs or no?

Stranger: nope

You: welcome to the labour movement

Stranger: socialism is bullshit.

You: its fuckin socialism

Stranger: "free" "free "free"

You: you dork

Stranger: "Socialism cause I dont want to work, I want it free, paid for by those who do work"

You: you don't actually know shit about it

Stranger: sure

Stranger: lets raise taxes for the rich so you dont have to pay for shit

You: mmmm, well that doesn't sound too bad

You: are you rich?

Stranger: nope

Stranger: you know why those people are rich?

You: exploiting the working class

Stranger: nope, working hard

You: no dude, they extract value from the work and pay them as little as possible

Stranger: well, get a new job, maybe a union job, they pay more

Stranger: stop being lazy

You: lol, dude, if you don't want your boss to exploit you and take 95% of the value created by you working your ass off, guess what helps with that?

You: fucking forming a union

You: fucking socialism

Stranger: yeah, but not socialist bullshit

Stranger: "boo hoo, I have to work hard boo hoo"

You: UNIONS ARE SOCIALIST

Stranger: nope

You: lol, ok

You: tell that to the guys when you are applying for your union job

Stranger: I will enjoy my union job

You: and you'll be an ignorant hipocrit

Stranger: I'll be richer than you simply by working.

You: lol,

You: jesus

Stranger: so stop being a crybaby and get a job

You: i have a job, and i'm in a union

You: but i know what i'm talking about

You: i'm not regurgitating capitalist bullshit

Stranger: no you dont, you seem to think those who work harder than you should pay for your stuff

You: lol dude

Stranger: what

You: i don't know where to start

You: you are just really thick

Stranger: nope, just smarter than you

You: ok, so remember how you had your mom pay for your dental care

Stranger: yeah

You: remember how your teeth are growing out of your skull

Stranger: yeah...

Stranger: get on with it idiot

You: and how if you had head trauma you could get free health care at a hospital

Stranger: GET ON WITH YOUR POINT IDIOT

You: but if you have a tooth problem you have you pay hundreds of dollars

Stranger: whats your fucking point moron

You: dentistry could be socialized like the rest of healthcare

You: and it would be better for society

Stranger: "boo hoo, I dont wanna pay when I have too, boo hoo

Stranger: "

Stranger: "make it free cause I dont wanna pay, wwwaaaaa"

You: and it wouldnt cost people much and it would imrpove the quality of life of lots of people

Stranger: sure

You: that's the kind of free shit socialists want

You: not Ipods

Stranger: sure

You: although, with the savings... you could buy an ipod

You: but then apple would also get taxed properly

Stranger: they want free college, higher taxes for those who work so social assistance rates can be raised for those who cant be bothered to work

You: and pay for dentistry....

Stranger: aww, did you have to pay a bill like an adult?

You: dude, you already said you have never paid a dentist bill in your life

Stranger: but did you

You: yeah I'm 32

Stranger: yeah but you act like a child

You: dude you don't even understand taxes

Stranger: i do

You: yeah, you are worried that your taxes which you pay for will be used for something usefull for society

Stranger: but I' be paying MORE taxes, I dont want that

You: and you are worried that people who make millions of dollars more than you are going to have to pay more

You: progressive taxation doesn't work like that

Stranger: well, they earned it why should they have to pay more?

You: because they have extracted that value from the world, and that's what taxes are, for taking care of the world

Stranger: sure

You: yeah

Stranger: im not intrested in your bs

You: lol

You: i mean, you're a piece of work buddy

Stranger: thanks

You: i mean, you've got a lot of growing up to do

Stranger: I could care less what a socialist loser thinks

Stranger: I worked for it, its fucking mine

You: lol

You: jesus, ok

You: lets start over

Stranger: you want it? work harder

You: "I worked for it, it's fucking mine"

Stranger: yeah

You: yeah

You: agreed

Stranger: so you want something? work harder and earn it, dont expect someone else to pay for it

You: you get hired for a job flipping burgers

Stranger: no thanks, I can do better than that

You: you work 9 hour shifts, and cook 300 burgers an hour

Stranger: is that your job?

You: you get paid, 12 dollars

You: no i'm an electrician

Stranger: then why do those shit jobs matter?

You: but this person gets paid 12 dollars for making 300 burgers sold for an average of $4 each

Stranger: your point is?

You: they process the food that made the company $1200

Stranger: ok and?

You: and got paid 1%

Stranger: your point is?

You: the $1200, I WORKED FOR IT, I PRODUCED IT, ITS FUCKING MINE

Stranger: nope

Stranger: you get paid $12 per hour worked, not per item cooked

You: yeah dude its the same shit, you are worried about the people who took 99% of the wealth from a shit job employee having to pay more taxes and give poor people dental care

Stranger: if they want to get paid more go get a higher skilled job than flipping burgers and salting fries

You: it can be a fucking hard job

You: like, seriously watch a fast food employee next time you are in one

You: they are always having to do shit

Stranger: I did, she was cute and bent over

You: yeah, you should have paid her for that

Stranger: nope

You: you stole a look

Stranger: paid her to pick up trash from the floor? I believe the company pays her for that

You: again, the wealthy will pay their employees as little as they legally can, and keep as much money as they can and pay as little taxes as they can

Stranger: oh

Stranger: well

Stranger: get a higher paying job?

You: and you think that these people are working harder

Stranger: there is no skill in burger flipping

You: when they are just working hard enough to exploit resources of other people and hoard wealth

Stranger: sure

You: so yeah, burger flipping is a job that is grueling and bullshit and annoying

Stranger: well, get a new one

You: but the metaphor is applicable to most jobs

Stranger: sure

You: you figure out how much the company is making off of you, and you realize it is a lot more than they are paying you and they should be respecting you a lot more for doing your job well

You: that's why unions are fucking awesome

You: because they can protect you from exploitation, get you better wages and services

You: and fight for you if you are wronged

Stranger: yeah, so those burger flippers can go get a new union job

You: the burger flippers can also start a union, but mcdonalds is pretty keen on union busting

Stranger: I've had to repeat my order to some of the morons working there and sometimes they still cant get it right, so why should they be paid more?

You: again, you don't have to focus on burgers,

You: like, shit man

Stranger: oh well

You: anyway, your bus job sounds cool and i hope it treats you well and you learn from your coworkers what the union is doing for you

Stranger: yeah

Stranger: because I have the high skill required to drive a bus, I will be paid more than a no skilled worker in a store or Mcdicks

You: i mean... some would try to say that driving a bus doesn't take much skill at all

Stranger: explain to me how to do a right turn while driving a bus,

You: like it's basically sitting on a couch

Stranger: sure.

You: i mean, what goes on a double mcRib, no L, ex P,

Stranger: dont know, dont care

You: yeah, dude people undervalue the labour of workers

Stranger: sure

Stranger: "duuurr I put cheese on a burger"

You: "I made 600 burgers today, and some shithead started screaming at me for getting onions when he asked for no ketchup"

Stranger: well, do your job right

You: lol, show some compassion and empathy in every aspect of your life

Stranger: nah

You: yeah, dude

Stranger: if they cant figure out what "no ketchup" is they are not too bright

You: i think you missed the part where the guy didn't ask for no onions

You: he only asked for no ketchup

Stranger: oh well I dont care

Stranger: get a better job

Stranger: I've seen quite a few downright useless fast food workers, so tell me why they are worth more than $12 an hour?

You: your anecdotal evidence is as flawed in observations of fast food employees as it is with women

Stranger: sure

You: you have no empathy and only think about yourself

You: you are short sighted, ignorant and arrogant

Stranger: I had to repeat my order of "2 double cheese burgers and 1 regular sized M&M Mcflurry " 3 times

Stranger: only to get slow service and an oreo Mcflurry

You: yeah dude, i had to repeat unions are socialism like 5 times and you still don't understand

Stranger: but unions are not socialism you fuckward

Stranger: if you want to get paid more EARN IT

You: fuckin' you want me to crack open wikipedia

Stranger: dont care

Stranger: I dont care what some socialist moron thinks

Stranger: burger flippers are skilless, so they get low paid

You: ok, but you understand the central theme though right?

Stranger: high skill= high pay

low skill = low pay

You: a burger flipper does a variety of tasks for 8 hours a day and gets paid 1% of the value they produce, or less

Stranger: burger flipper has no usefull skills

You: YOU EAT THE FOOD DIPSHIT

Stranger: and?

You: THEY MADE THE FOOD FOR YOU!

Stranger: making food isnt hard

You: YOU DIDN"T MAKE THE FOOD AND YOU GOT FOOD

Stranger: they are paid to make the food

Stranger: I bought the food

You: ok, so you paid a company 99% for them to exploit a worker tyo make you a burger

Stranger: yeah, so what

Stranger: why do you even care? its not your job

You: we move up, and look at the day shift managers, the night shift managers, they get paid quite a bit more than the employees but aren't working much harder

Stranger: managers are overpaid slackers

You: they might actually be working less hard

You: yeah, and above them, managers of the local franchises, and up ward and upward to a ceo who is perhaps having a meeting once a day? and getting paid how much more than their lowest employee

Stranger: oh well\

Stranger: I dont care about the useless burger flipper

You: again, its not burgers, its everthing

You: its you right now

You: you don't even have this kushy bus job

You: with union support

You: you are probably unemployed

Stranger: you realize their job is pretty much

cooking food

taking out trash

sweeping the floor,

stuff you do at home, its simple shit

Stranger: I have a union job

You: what is your job?

Stranger: loading trucks

You: and that takes how much skill?

Stranger: a fair amount

You: in what way?

Stranger: gotta load 4 trucks, sort it according to the load sort, keep up with the pace of freight coming to you

You: but anyone with muscles could do it?

Stranger: if your loading a company truck keep count of the number of stops, if its owner op dont count it

Stranger: muscles and a brain

You: ok

Stranger: harder work than burger flippers

You: i mean, I was gonna scrutinize it further to make the point that your job seems pretty simple but you have lots of insider knowledge about the challenges of the job to say otherwise

Stranger: exactly

You: it could be argued that it is an unskilled labour possition though

Stranger: harder job thus for higher pay

You: maybe, or a labour rights movement that had your back

Stranger: no the unskilled is unloading trailers, all it takes it watch your head, watch out for the guy your with and put the labels facing up onto the conveyor

Stranger: still not socialism you idiot

You: i mean, i don't need to argue that rain is wet

You: you can deny it if you want

Stranger: nah

You: you can even call me an idiot for saying the rain is wet

Stranger: your dumb enough to think the morons at fast food deserve higher pay so I cant take you seriously

You: but it only reflects on your arrogance

Stranger: sure

Stranger: "2 double cheese burgers and an M&M Mcflurry"

I had to repeat it 3 times and they still couldnt get the order right.

but you think they should be paid more?

You: i guess should have picked a better metaphor

You: you are really hung up on that eh?

Stranger: its an example to prove you wrong

Stranger: picking up an empty cup from the floor is so hard, oh poor girl

You: it proves nothing really

You: except that you hate poor people

Stranger: it proves they are not worth more than min wage

You: and that they deserve worse treatment than wealthy people

Stranger: no, they just need to work harder to get higher pay

Stranger: also whens the last time you were in any fast food place?

You: and that caring about the needs of the marginalized and downtrodden is outside of your wheelhouse, and that you should eat shit and die alone

You: simple as that

You: fuck off

You: and die

Stranger: lol guess what

You: mgtow to hell

Stranger: I used to be homeless

You: yeah, sounds made up

Stranger: well its not

Stranger: you see, I did what was needed to get off the street, finish school and get a job

You: and you have internalized all sorts of capitalist bullshit along the way

Stranger: so what

Stranger: hard work is all you need

Stranger: get a skill

You: lol

Stranger: why are bus drivers paid so much?

high skilled job

gotta deal with shitty people sometimes

You: you're still pretty thick

Stranger: also, since you dodged my question, most fast food workers are high schoolers anyway, so who cares if they make min wage, most of that money is just blown when they hang out with friends anyway

You: ok, but that's not actually true

You: most fast food employees are between 28 an 40

Stranger: odd. I was in Mcdonalds today, the oldest guy there looked 20

Stranger: hmm, then how come I've seen people from my old highschool working there? they were a grade or two below me as well...

You: cause of the neighborhood you live in doesn't represent the majority of fastfood service jobs?

Stranger: I've been to quite a few and its all highschool looking kids workin there

You: and so you know a lot of workers who are 18-20 but that doesn't actually mean that's the average

You: https://groundswell.org/fast-food-misconceptions/

Stranger: want higher pay? get hire skill

You: 40 percent of the workforce in the fast food industry is 25 or older, and the average fast-food worker is 29 years old.

Stranger: get a skill

Stranger: https://www.monster.com/career-advice/article/best-paid-job-skills

You: but also, tax the rich and give services to poor people

Stranger: so tax those who work hard and have skills to pay for things for people who are lazy and have no skill.

Stranger: https://www.marketwatch.com/story/these-10-skills-you-need-to-earn-higher-wages-may-surprise-you-2017-04-18

You: alright lazy brain, i gotta go to bed

You: got work in the morning

You: gotta put these skills to work

Stranger: get a skill to get higher pay

Stranger: dont want to flip burgers? get a skill

You: dude I'm an electrician

Stranger: exactly, so your paid more than a burger flipper cause your usefull

You: not everyone can do this work, we need a diversity of workers doing all sorts of shit

Stranger: there are plenty of skilled jobs

You: you're dumb as bricks but you are getting paid decent with your loading job

Stranger: yeah, because its skill

Stranger: and im not dumb as bricks.

You: i want a society that takes care of you even though personally I hope boxes crush your legs and a woman shits in your mouth

Stranger: lol

Stranger: see, your so bitter

Stranger: you cant accept that not everyone agrees with you and you freak out

You: yeah, its just cause you are 22, a bitter misogynist and unable to process new information

Stranger: I have processed it

Stranger: and its bullshit

Stranger: you dont get high pay for low skill

You: eh... your bs assessment skills are weeeeeek

Stranger: everyone knows that to get high pay you gotta work hard

Stranger: take from those who work to give to those who dont, your fucked in the head

You: aight duder

You: eat shitbricks

You have disconnected.

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