#and then died from cringe. i cant believe i ever posted those

[the-thursday]

y'all I beg you, please stop reblogging my old art from 2020 and 2021, I opened notifs this morning and nearly had a heart attack.

[imnotreal-png]

>:) -- Entry 1

OK i just smoked a joint after i wrote the date and now im kinda chillin but imma still yap on dis hoe.

I am a loser. Like a huge loser, okay? Like im not dumb or wtv, i may have reached a weird and insane level of self awareness, but im just as much of a loser as anyone else.

I keep catching myself trying to people please and overstepping my boundaries and justifying it with "oh everyone else does it, so what, its normal" like ok dumb bitch that doesn't make it okay, get a grip.

But i will be yapping away abt alot of stupid bullshit i deal with and stupid things make me sad. I am very well aware that I am irrational, but these are things i feel in those moments that i always hold in because i don't want people 2 see that weak side of me. It's embarrassing and it's not me.

In truth, i have nooo idea what i'm doing. I have 0 clue on where i'll be in the future. I didn't think i'd make it this far and not on some suicidal shit (idk if u can say that word here, oops.), i just genuinely thought that i'd somehow perish?? Like i wasn't really real in some weird way. I just didn't exist. Even though i was always the center of drama or the cause of all things chaotic, i was always misunderstood. god that's so fucking cringe but hear me out.

I always said shit that i believed was clear enough to be understood and yet it wasn't. Even my tone apparently has been rude this entire time. But no one would actually tell me how i come off, they just ate it up in silence and then spaz on me. Even now i don't really understand because i truly believe i am very clear on what im saying. Yet it's still...not seen the way im trying to show it? Idk if im making any sense bruh but whatever. Maybe im narcissistic but no one understands my brain the way i attempt to express it...or i guess how i see it. Idk i guess im just frustrated that no one understands me or gets my brain.

Also it's super cringe when people tell me im mature for my age. Literally eat my shit. actual ick. get away from me.

I hate my mom. She hates me too but she hates me bc I'm not the pussy she wishes she was when she was my age. She's the most childish person i know. I genuinely do not care what she thinks of me whatsoever. She's just power hungry and immature. Actually, I don't even hate her, i just hate that she gets to have all this power over me. I just want my freedom, thats it. She can hate my lifestyle or whatever the fuck, as long as im not living with her. At the end of the day, im truly content with who i am as a person and my moral compass etc, she cant affect that. I just need to have my own space and leave her household to finally be free and actually experience life in a comfortable and more peaceful way. I guess that's all i can say rn. I just wish she would respect my boundaries and stop treating me like im her competition and she'll always be superior. She won't and i cannot wait for the day she finally see's that lol.

!! super irrational moment alert !!

LMAO this is super cringe but like when i started music i put "listen 2 my moozik" in my bio bc we say muzik in albanian but americans wud have 2 read it as moozik to get it right + its funny? Ever since i started rlly getting exposure and performing out there, all these NON SLAVS/BALKANS have started putting it in their bio's 🙄 like be fr, its sooo obvious (at least to me). And now some of these mfs i've interacted w startes stealing my lingo and the way i type [this isn't how i type when i txt friends. its worse and i shorten everything in a miserable way cuz its funny] and it's cute at first but now mfs on social media posting the way i do and talking the way i do. [insert side eye bc yeah] and it's kinda cringe cuz they're actually rlly shallow and mainstream people, they just look like they trying 2 hard to be quirky. lol.

im probably tweakin tho idk.

i wish i grew up with art. i wish my parents had that and were able to introduce it to me. I feel like a fraud when i try to be creative and do things. Even with making music. As much as i enjoy it and love it and it really does make me happy, it feels fake. I can't play any instruments, i can't sing, im far from a good writer, fuck if know anything abt music theory...i literally just click buttons and make sounds on my computer lol. I didn't grow up indulging in art and creativity, i was actually always super bad at it. I wish i had a deeper connection with it. I wish i understood it better. I wish i expressed it better. I wish my ideas were my own. I want to be able to create something that is truly mine without feeling like im a fake.

UHHHH so imma just come on here and vent whenever i feel like i have something i need 2 say. This is intended for the void, if u come across it...cringe.

[moonlit-imagines]

Headcanons for being Tony Stark’s Daughter (Continued)

Tony Stark x daughter!reader

warnings: drinking mention, is period mention a thing?

a/n: sorry if i broke anyones heart on my last hc, heres some things i forgot to add in my headcanons for all u avid dad!tony readers

prompt: this ones all over the place, just some random things to read while u recover xx, it’s not very long (which is good bc those long posts i wrote were making my app glitch), it’s not great, but its here

The Early Years (1) The Teenage Years (2) The Intense Years (3) The Aftermath (4)

y/n literally cannot stop doing peace signs, she saw her dad do it once when she was a kid and now she does it without even realizing

she was in the bathroom when tony got called “tony stank” and now everyone calls her “y/n stank” at random and it makes her mad bc no one will explain the inside joke

after tony died, peter texted her almost every day to check up on her

there are billionaire daddy/daughter dances, the starks were in attendance (until y/n deemed herself “too old” for them at age 11)

sometimes y/n would take over the shop and blast her dad’s music, getting really into it. tony would take a few moments to watch the prodigy he couldn’t believe he created

birthday parties were always a treat, especially after the avengers joined your family

also tony snuck you drinks every once and a while

“tony, she’s just a kid! don’t give her that” -steve

“my daughter, my rules, sucker!!”

when you were working in the shop, it wasn’t uncommon for you to hurt yourself

and tony would always patch you up, whether you needed bandages, ice, or just a kiss to make it better

pulling all-nighters on inventions

(sorry if this one makes you uncomfortable?) having to go to pepper when you had your first period

“JARVIS, can you call pepper for me? it’s an emergency”

“emergency? should i call the paramedics?”

“NO!”

she also took you bra shopping and you kept making boob jokes

“you really are your father’s daughter”

tony tried to give you a curfew for iron-mech things, but it didn’t last very long

you didn’t listen much, now tony knew how his father felt

dad jokes that make you cringe

“did you know the first french fries weren't actually cooked in france? They were cooked in greece”

*on the verge of tears* “please stop”

pepper loved getting pictures of you guys together

especially the ones of you guys passed out after an eager session of work

high-fives, so many of them

you have exactly one picture of the entire ironfam together (tony, you, pepper, happy, rhodey) and it’s hung up on your wall

you had a lot of nightmares as a kid, he had a baby monitor protocol programmed into JARVIS that alerted him when you woke up from a bad dream

posing for the paparazzi with your dad just for shits and giggles

the infamous Repulsor Misfire(tm) after a bad upgrade, it ended in two smashed windows, a medium-sized fire, and a hilarious security recording that tony had saved to his phone, not one of your prouder moments

you used to sneak up on the avengers and take selfies with them, some are priceless

your lockscreen is a picture of you and your dad making “hulk faces”

when you were a kid, you rode on tony’s shoulders for hours

he took you to disney world a handful of times (what? he could afford it)

being two engineers/mechanics, you guys needed a lot of lotion, (i cant stop picturing this) so you or tony would randomly pull out lotion and offer it to others before putting it on simultaneously

pulling pranks on rhodey

your personal favorite was the confetti cannons

“god, i could barely deal with one stark, but two? they might as well dig my grave”

sometimes it was just your job to embarrass each other in front of coworkers

“yeah, when y/n was little she was afraid of the monster in her closet, she thought cookie monster was going to eat her” (a/n: this is from experience dont @ me)

“when i was a kid i walked away from my dad when he wasn’t paying attention because i wanted a snack and i couldn’t find him when i came back. i went to investigate a while later and he was crying in the corner because he thought he lost me. almost ordered an AMBER alert because he left the front door open on accident”

your dad literally loved you so much

“where are you going?”

“out”

“can i ask where?”

“no”

“dont get all snippy with me!”

“i’ll be as snippy as i want to be!”

“oh, no, you wont!”

“watch me!”

^sometimes you guys got into some comical arguments

you were just trying to keep tradition alive and buy him another funny tie

tony has seen security footage of you doing various dumb things (that he is also guilty of) and asking you about it later

“hey, mini me, get your ass down here!”

“yeah, dad?”

“what is this?”

“uh...surprise? we need a new window!”

and there have been a few weird times he’s grabbed both your cheeks and stared at you

“hi dad?”

“i’m very lucky that your mean old mom let me have you, you turned out perfectly”

one father’s day you bought a card that had nothing to do with father’s day and crossed a bunch of stuff out with sharpie

he thought it was the funniest thing he’d ever seen

its on his desk now

(you get happy father’s day gift’s, too. he gets choked up every time)

you guys remember how clint was holding those drumsticks in aou? yeah, tony has drums and the two of you take turns going wild on them

the anniversary of your grandparents death is always a weird day, sometimes your dad is perfectly fine, and sometimes you have to give him some space

tony celebrated your birthday the 5 years you were gone

“happy birthday, sweetie. i love you”

when you met morgan, you saw a part of your father in her

now it was your job to protect her, for tony

[starlightshoe]

welcome to hell (dont read oh lourd its so old) [im eventuslly retiritng this post for a new intro page god bleass this shit is so fucking antiquated my mew pnes gonna be so cool]

whats up  im actually 22 and i died trying to use caard for some reason so have this instead

epic facts about me in 2020 (NOT... updated)

im nons binary?(tme) i also am asexual and biromantic

i cant believe it. im a gamer

mixed race (airheads brown mystery) mostly indigenous mexican?? but rest assured i AM quantifiably french and im making that everyones problem

tumblr tried to kill me for eating oreos with water and i survived

very certain adhd/ocd plus god knows what else there is rest assured i am just Like That. i like to make things and post about things

inter ests

main interest right now: november is a. Time to be me (points at gta san andreas remaster and live action cowboy bebop of dubious qualities but hey i'm still having fun)

man i'm not too into homsetuck anymore and i have little faith hiveswap will come back so that's pretty much not too likely on this blog

time 4 the niche shit.. theres. 1997 animated sitcoms king of the hill AND daria....fictional emergency broadcast alerts people make on youtube...have you ever BEEN to 2002(early webcore and scenecore and video games from the early 00′s era)? those are fucking epic.

unironically love many bad fanfictions and movies and amvs i just love havin good old fun with them!

the usual no bigots or terfs or maps or proshippers or transmeds or exclus or any shit like that. not too big of a fan of people trying to bring back schoolyard cringe bullying either

more fun facts

watch luigi shits himself at olive garden its a swag youtube poop movie series my friends and i make it takes quite a long time its awesome

in 2016 i got into the shrekoning ytp collab which has like 2 million views atm (i wish i snuck more pro trans into it in retrospect! i will destroy emplemon with my bare hands)

i got cancelled and uncancelled within a few weeks about over the hedge (2006) joke discourse. ask about over the hedge world war 3

5 middle names

here are some various gifs i will have you look at now thank you for stopping by : )

[tumblunni]

What do you guys think about the names Dustin and Darcy for my protagonists in Let's Go?

Cos i really wanted to play the co op mode thing by myself, just so i can pretend this role in the plot is filled by two siblings and have a bit of fun roleplaying that. But i dunno yet how the co-op works and whether you'd be able to customize the avatar of the second player or if its just the default trainer? Or can you only play co-op if you have two separate games? Im planning to buy the other version anyway once i get more money, so it could be fun to play my first version with sibling one and then the second playthru is sibling two's turn to shine!

Oh and the whole reason i wanted to do this is cos i wanna try out the customization features to make some ocs now that there's no competitive online stuff unless you pay a subscription fee (LOL NO THANKS). Like..i always felt like i HAD to make my character me in xy/sumo/usum, otherwise its like lying online? But of course i cant actually make me because theres no nonbinary option or even remotely ambiguous outfits for either gender. And you cant have wild hair colours while i dye my hair 24/7 irl lol. Its silly cos like 95% of the gym leaders and other characters ingame have anime hair colours yet the player has to be normal? So yeah i cpuldnt really enjoy making this innacurate defanged version of myself yet i didnt feel like i was allowed to just make up a new character either. Closest i could do was give myself white hair like my old trainersona when i was 12, lol. I mean i guess thats my 'real hair colour' underneath the dye right now, if you think about it that way?

OH GOD PIKACHU CAN HAVE A LITTLE TUXEDO AND BOWLER HAT HOLY FUCK IM SORRY TO INTERRUPT THIS BUT I WAS WATCHING THE IGN REVIEW AND THEY SHOWED PIKA BOWLER HAT PLEASE GO GOOGLE THAT VIDEO JUST FOR THAT 1 SECOND OF NEW FOOTAGE OF MY BEAUTIFUL CLASSY BOYE

okay where was i

Yeah! I think sibling trainers could be a good and unique way to handle a rival! Like having them be your sibling already establishes that rivalry. But it can be a soft and nice rivalry! I wanna go with that fun version rather than the full on angry exaggerated sibling rivalries you often see in kids media. Like i know that some people legit dont get on with their siblings and some people can even have a very gary esque full on rivalry thats sorta 'love to hate' or like..tsundere pretending you hate them. But personally i never had experience with that, i can never relate to those 'tfw u hate ur sibling and theyre always an asshole but lolll u love them anyway' posts. I only got to live with my little sister for a little while due to the catastrophe of abusive parenthood that was my childhood, and i lost contact with her forever when she was very young so i doubt she'd even remember me. *sigh* But like i don't think i only love her so much because i miss her! People say newborns and toddlers are the most bratty so like you'd think if i was gonna ever find her 'annoying' i would have done it back then. I was always just mega proud of her and whenever she'd be 'bratty' i'd be cheering her on and trying to protect her from mom. And when she'd try and pull pranks on me or practise play-fighting or whatever i was just like 'lol thats legit funny' and taking play-falls so she felt better about herself. Like we didnt have much power in that household so i felt like encouraging her pretending to be a wrestler would help her feel like she had some sort of control in some part of her life i guess? And just i wished i was allowed to roughhouse and run around and be all 'unladylike' and just enjoy BEING A KID when i was a kid, yknow? I always had legit fun being with her and legit enjoyed it and was legit proud and legit never annoyed. I just dont understand 'yeah she's annoying but i love her anyway'. I was only ever her rival as a play-rival to help encourage her to like.. Enjoy the things she enjoyed. Feel like someone else cared. I only ever acted like 'ha ha baby stuff yeah sure i hate hanging out with my sister" cos i thought i was SUPPOSED TO. I always felt so guilty doing it and so dissappointed cos id rather hang out with her than be a boring stereotypical teen tbh. I dunno, maybe this isnt typical for siblings and its just a sign of how badly we were raised? I was just real fuckin lonely and absolutely loved having a family member who loved me for the first time since my grandma died. Same reason i always used to act all 'i am too cool i totally am not soft for my lil sister' around my lil sister's dad. I really wanted him to love me too! I used to say swear words at him cos i thougjt he would thibk i was Cool And Adult?? I have soooo many cringe moments from that phase of my childhood. Man it hurts to think that i never actually did get to become that positive influence that protected my sister from my mum and let her know she was loved. Cos i was sent to live with my dad when she was like 5ish? And never saw her again and now im too scared to try and reach out to her again because 1: she probably doesnt even remember me, 2: theres a chance she believes my mum saying i was some horrible asshole who abandoned the family, 3: even bigger chance that contacting her could mean my mum finding me again and big fuckin risk of further abuse. Plus the awkwardness of introducing my trans self when she'd remember me as her sister and all. Sigh! All i can do is hope that her cool dad eventually got custody of her, and that he didnt turn out to be a secret bastard like when i met my own dad. He seemed good, but then again i was just a lil kid and my dad seemed good at first. Sighhhhhh...

SO UMM YEAH WOW I MADE MYSELF SAD

Anyway the point is that whenever i write siblings i'd rather write 100% unapologetic super loving love cos its wish fullfillment for me. This is also why in/cest shipping is a massive beserk button for me, good wholesome family relationships are REAL FUCKIN IMPORTANT and how DARE you corrupt that shit! Some people would fuckin KILL to have that wholesome family!!

Anyway lol thats why i'd like a Wholesome Rivalry for these sibling ocs! Like they challenge each other to contests along the way just for fun, and they react all 'wow my sis is the BEST' when you beat them, so hard feelings at all. And you dont JUST do rival stuff but also sometimes just hang out and have fun cos you missed each other. And if anyone threatens your sibling then THAT is the only time you see the Serious Sibling Power! Rival moments: ha ha lol bet ya cant beat me ooo im a scary villain LOL I CANT KEEP A STRAIGHT FACE HAHA! Giovanni punches your brother: *stony cold death glare from hell as tricksy prank sis turns into an unstoppable vengeance engine* Oh, but also the only other time they'd be serious is in their final battle together! Like most of the 'rivalry' is just competing to make the adventure fun and to help each other get stronger. But if sis/bro ever actually legit said they really want to fight to find out who's the best, and its like..important to help their self confidence, then i think bro/sis would respect that and go all out. Taking a fall and letting them win would be the most disrespectful thing of all! Oh, but i do think there would be one kind of battle like that during the story? Like in one of the more low stakes faux-rival fights the sibling actually does try and let you win, and the challenge is to try and lose against all odds. High stakes super failure battle!!! Imagine the evil team in the background like 'wtf' as these two run the most aggressively slow race of all time! XD

Oh and i kinda thought about different personalities for the two of them based on who you pick? Like i did like that aspect about brendan/may in RSE compared to other 'unpicked option becomes rival' characters in later games that didnt even have one personality let alone two. It just sucks that the personalities they decided to give them were 'female rival is super self concious and thinks youre better than her because youre a boy' and 'male rival is super ego and thinks he's better than you because he's a boy'. Boooo!

So instead of that the personalities i was thinking for these two would be less sexist lol. Male sibling Dustin is basically Wally so far? I need to develop him a bit more to make him a bit distinct, i mean its not like every single shy dude is identical. I'm thinking maybe mix him with all the wasted potential in Brendan? Like in the game they slightly hint at him having the ONE non stereotypical trait of liking cute teddy bears, and that made me think about how much better his whole plot would have been if it actually criticized his sexism and said that he only behaves that way cos he's overcompensating for being bullied for being 'feminine', yknow? And then in the manga they actually DO write him as super feminine, and even as a contest star who loves fashion and dressing up his pokemon! But then GAHHH they present it as some sort of fuckin 'character flaw', like he's shown to be selfish and superficial because of it. And the backstory is that him and the female protagonist used to be 'normal' until a traumatic event. Brendan was a Natural Fighting Prodigy until he saved his female friend from a wild pokemon and was so traumatized that he never wanted to fight again, while she wanted to learn to fight so she'd never need to be protected again. But this is not only presented as Wrong Ways To Be Gender but also like.. Fighting their natural instinct which still comes through?? Like male protag hasnt fought in YEARS yet whenever he's forced to fight he's just magically better at it than female protag who's been practising all these years to become his equal. Ha ha silly girl you can never achieve that! All you get is this patronizing 'well if you just tryyyyy girly things im sure you'll like it' plot and then you get rescued by him in the end because OF COURSE you do. Sigh! I cant believe they made me hate that pairing even more than the games did! So yeah i dont really wanna write Dustin as a jerkass who's secretly got synpathetic motives of internalized homophobia/sexism, cos i feel thats a plot very specific to my perceptuons of Brendan and id basically just have to make Dustin a clone of him and he wouldnt be able to shine on his own merits. Instead i'm just thinking of writing him as a 100% sensitive soul, and he still faces predjudice for not being that bigoted idea of an 'ideal man' but really the fact he doesnt bow down to their demands proves that he's the bravest person here.

And then I'm thinking maybe the female sibling Darcy is the older one and is a bit "gary ish"? Like eitjer way you still have a friendly and loving siblingness, but she's a bit more of a sass who is tsundere about admitting she loves her bro. But i dont think she's the cold or grumpy sort of tsundere, more like a trickstery tomboy? Bombastic loki jock sis! She can only be a bit abrasive with her bro cos she wants to teach him to be tough even when she's not there to protect him. But sometimes she can mess it up and make him feel like he has to change his personality in order to be tough, rather than letting him know she supports him in being "unmasculine" and just wants to help him find the confidence to stand up to people who bully him for it. Like she feels like she is 'weaker' than him in the sense that she worries too much about what people will think if she expresses her real emotions, yknow? Like theyre both suffering from toxic masculinity! He's suffering from the standard form where men who are too 'soft' are beaten down into that mould. Ans she's suffering from the problem where 'masculine' girls feel like they have to be '100% masculine' in order to be allowed to be themselves at all. Like back when i was a kid and before i came out as trans i always used to try and pretend to like sports ans like..cliche macho shit where you Cant Admit You Care About Your Friends and also i wasnt allowed to like ANY feminine things at all. I had to either follow the stereotype of femininity entirely or follow the opposite stereotype, i wasnt allowed to just reject stereotypes and like what i actually like. So yeah me realizing i wasnt really a girl has led to me embracing more 'girly' things than back when i thought i was one! So i think Darcy would have a similar arc but like..the cis equivelant? Just finds people who arent such judgmental pricks and stops having to conform to either of those stereotypes in order to keep fake friends who dont really give a shit about her. She can have a plot about both forced feminine and masculine stereotypes being equally limiting, rather than that shitty 'being masculine is a prison uwu every woman will be happier embracing her love of makeup' shit. That dominant narrative just made me feel like i was somehow wrong about myself whenever i didnt like 100% Of Sports All The Time, i must be somehow girly if i liked even ONE girly thing yet i needed hundreds of proofs if i wanted to be masculine. And like i wasnt just allowed to be neither! I wasnt allowed to like parts of both! I wasnt allowed to BE GODDAMN TRANS!!! So yeah i dunno if i'd go whole hog and make this character a trans man or a nonbinary person tho? I think she's just actually a cis girl who happens to be sporty and brash and likes a lot of 'masculine' fashion and hobbies. And she's just been made to feel self concious about it, as if she cant possibly REALLY be that unless she likes Every Single Boy Thing and wins at Every Single Challenge. Does anyone else remember that shit too? The girls have to win Every sports game against the boys in order to be 'one of the boys' but if you lose even one of them it somehow proves that you're inferior. Even though the boys lost 50 billion games to you and that doesnt prove theyre inferior! Like man she has sooooo many 'gary rivals' in her school life, thats why she loves going on this adventure with a kind brother rival who actually respects her! So her resolution would just be her staying the same but being more confident about it and saying fuk u to those fake friends. Same as her brother's plot, just they both face different specifics to the way this sexism affects them, yknow?

Oh but yeah when i did finally learn about LGBT stuff and realize i was trans it was Big Amazing cos even in the rare stories about Its Okay To Be Yourself it still left me feeling weirdly empty when the girl decides that yes she does wanna be a girl in the end. So i get that these plots might come off as queerbaiting if i write them badly? I need to make sure to make it clear that these characters 100% want to be seen as this gender and its just other people being fuckfaces and trying to define what their gender has to mean. I think maybe i'll try and mitigate this potential misunderstanding by adding different sorts of lgbt content. And, well, also cos i just want lgbt content in all of my stories because i am lgbt, of course! I'm 100% sure that Darcy is gay, and i think also maybe possibly Dustin is trans? Like, his plot is about being mocked for being a 'feminine' boy, but its also even more personal for him because he's a trans boy and he feels like he needs to change his personality in order to pass/he isnt really real because his personality doesnt fit the stereotypical image of a man. Like if you'd looked at the two of them back when they were identical twins, you probably would have expected Darcy to end up being trans if you were the sort of person who believes those basic ass stereotypes about 'boys who play with barbies and girls who play with trucks'. Or i mean maybe its the other way around and Darcy is a trans girl who still has a 'masculine' personality according to stereotypes? Or even both of them are trans and both face being told that they arent real because they dont fit the perfect stereotype of a trans person according to cis perceptions? Or maybe i'm overcomplicating things with all of this and it'd just muddy the message i guess. I might just keep it to them both being cis but also both of them like girls. And i can always apply my trans and other LGBT headcanons to other characters along their adventure.

Anyway LOL im rambling too much!

[carcinized]

Okay tell me the magic powers I wanna know

oh boy. theyre the magic powers of a) heightened intuition and b) weird coincidences like seriously what the FUCK

[warning for like. uhhh superstitious stuff, talk of paranormal stuff, just,,, weird coincidences??? yeah]

so heightened intuition is kind of what i consider the weird coincidences that could have been my subconscious mind putting pieces of information together and only sharing half the conclusion with my conscious mind. picking up on maybe four things i KNOW, then reaching a vague conclusion that turns out to be correct without informing me WHY.

for example, a few days ago my cousins and i were hanging out in the dark under the stars (we were camping, thats why i was gone!! :D) and kinda just hanging out and talking about life. which came to superstition and then being spiritual--my cousins use like. hippie crystals as placebos, kind of (this is a different story but essentially while they dont believe they have magic properties, they use them as ways to channel confidence, happiness, etc. consciously, if that makes sense). and my eldest cousin knows a lot about different types!!!

and she starts talking about how some of them are weird, and she says the word "moldavite" and all my hair stands on end and i WHIRL around to check behind me (nothing was there dw). she goes on to inform me that moldavite is the weirdest, most sketchy crystal--it's supposed to suck negative energy out of your life, and there are hundreds and hundreds of stories of moldavite rings breaking clean in half or disappearing or other things. when that happens, a bit negative thing seems to disappear from people's lives. but she made it sound sketchy as hell and sufficiently freaked me and my other cousin out, no weirdass hair on end needed!!!

why i consider this to be intuition, not fully a coincidence, was that she WAS going into the weird side of crystals, and she said that. why i consider it WEIRD is that my hair STOOD ON FUCKING END. which doesn't happen to me all that often anyways? when i get scared i cry, not get goosebumps. and the fact that i felt the need to look behind me, its WEIRD!!! its not something i know how to explain, which is why i say its more than just my brain being smart. i dont really call it magic, but it's something weird. and this happens a LOT.

another example of the intuition was when i was nine, my school took a field trip to mission solano. mission solano was a mission built by the spanish in california that essientally enslaved natives to the region and forced them to convert to christianity. hundreds died there. and i knew that. however, when they took us into the church to do a mini service to make it feel more authentic, i started silently sobbing through the whole thing. for no reason other than i was utterly terrified of some unknown menace. i also cried in the courtyard when we walked past plaques with the names of people who died. sobbed. no one else seemed affected.

i found out last december when i got into buzzfeed unsolved that the church is supposed to have a demon in it and the courtyard has had multiple spottings of a ghost of a bear in it.

THATS FUCKING WEIRD RIGHT IM NOT THE ONLY ONE WHO THINKS THATS WEIRD??????

but it's possible that my brain put together hey!!! lots of people died here!! there could be restless spirits!!! thats scary!!! cry!!!! yk??? but theres that element to it thats just WEIRD.

anyways on to the full on coincidences i cant explain with ANYTHING. for example, when i was... hm, eight, nine, ten ish??? idk, but it was storming and i was taking a shower and the lights flickered a tiny bit!!! and i got all excited because i used to like power outs, and i got out quick and got dressed. as i was walking down the stairs, i hopped down from the bottom step to the floor of the hallway and sang "i hope the power goes ou-" and the power went out as my feet hit the floor and i said out. THATS WEIRD. THATS SO FUCKING WEIRD. like yeah it was stormy and i saw the lights flicker, but ON??? THE??? WORD??? AND MY STOMP??? WHAT. WHAT. WHAT. I DONT UNDERSTAND, UNIVERSE.

and i guess i cant prove any of those stories, but i have one ON TUMBLR. A FULL COINCIDENCE. I HAD LITERALLY ZERO INDICATIONS OR POWER FOR THIS.

so on august 2nd, i posted "pspspspsp tubbo you want to post your song to spotify soooooo bad ooooooooooo" at 3:08 pm PST. normal post right? well then at 8:31 pm PST that SAME DAY he posts "4:31 AM Update my song is done and im recording the music video strap in..." on twitter. blah blah yeah its fandom its cringe i dont CARE its fucking WEIRD ITS WEIRD???? not kidding just over five hours after i posted that he announced its done. thats WEIRD. THATS SO FUCKING WEIRD.

and then theres lots of other examples of this but in the interest of not making this post go on forever and ever we'll leave it here. i would say a coincidence usually smaller than those happens around once a day to me??? probably at least bsddsb

anyways that's my magic power :DD people seem to be creeped out by it but as long as i'm not having a really bad day with derealization i usually find it quite nice--the universe is so connected if only you let yourself find the dots. :]

[all-i-wanna-write]

🎃 Wanna One as supernatural creatures  👻 - Hyung Line

[ Masterlist ] [ In honor of just making this blog as well as spooky spooks fest coming up in a few days, here’s a Halloween inspired Wanna One imagine! It’s lengthy for a first post so it’s under read more. 👻 Maknae line will be posted tomorrow! 

- Admin V ]

Yoon Jisung 

a very gentle vampire

you wouldn’t think he would be a vampire upon first glance

like he looks so happy and sunshine-y all the time that it doesnt seem like it

but then you know guanlin saw him sipping blood from a coffee mug labeled “#1 sucker” and that was that

he also had to convince guanlin that he didn’t go around randomly feeding on people

no one knows his age

“a wise man never reveals his age.”

“isnt it secrets?”

“shh daniel, go eat your red meat.”

he may be a creature of the night but he is literal sunshine

he works as a doctor 

ha ha vampire as a doctor how generic

he genuinely likes helping people with his vast knowledge that he collected over the many many years hes been here

he lives in the little home above sungwoon’s shop

he drinks the packets of blood he gets from work that no one uses and is generally good about his feeding

he only ever needs to feed once every two weeks or so 

when he’s missed out on a feeding session due to something he secludes himself from other people until sungwoon is able to make a replacement blood supplement for him

when he goes without blood for a prolonged period of time his eyes turn red 

he tries to maintain his manners but he can only hold back the urges so long

don’t hurt his children he will bite

literally

hes very protective of those he has deemed as family

because he didn’t have a family for as long as he can remember

so the members are his family

Ha Sungwoon  

he has everything

tonic for sickness? 

got it

potion to make someone fall in love with you?

he sells those

Pepsi?

yes, but he keeps it in a vial for some reason and no one knows why

he is following in the footsteps of his previous master and is running the old shop

which has been altered to look more like a store to blend in with society more

“people were looking at the place weirdly hyung”

“i liked how it was daehwi!”

“get with the times hyung! :(”

sungwoon didn't really grow up in society when he was training so he doesn't really get why he cant just rant about rabbits feet and troll leather and its magical properties in public

or why you cant just have this hut looking thing be inbetween large corporate buildings

the place where a lot of the members actually live is above his store 

but yeah he is a potion maker if you want to be real about this and he sells potions that generally are just used for pranks and makes the big money.

but he also is the one to help jisung when he cant get blood in time and never charges him.

actually he never charges any of wanna one.

he denies any statements about being soft as “i owed you a favor im just repaying it”

“you made me hot chocolate hyung”

“you didnt trip me that one time thats why”

don’t let that tsundere attitude fool you hes soft for the members

overall him as an alchemist doesn't change much

he just has much more stuff

which = mess = angry minhyun

but overall he is a very smol potion maker who helps his friends with their ailments and cares a lot despite denying such 

Hwang Minhyun 

a literal Angel™

no really hes actually an angel

you can literally almost see the halo above his head

and he does have wings! 

he just hides them

because he knows that walking around with large hulking wings is not normal in society 

he came to earth a long time ago and is mostly done with humanity but still tries

its just hard sometimes

he came upon jisung a long time ago and despite,,, beliefs he had at first about what jisung was

(he literally tried to throw garlic at him and jisung just stared at him and laughed so hard he cried

minhyun was really confused)

he came to understand jisung and the two are close friends

nowadays he volunteers at local community centers and pounds

he says that he is a very responsible being but no one believes him

especially when he came home drenched wet holding a kitty in his jacket

“why didnt you just use your wings to cover you and the cat?”

“ill be honest, i didnt think of that at the time.”

he cleans the home they all live in because they are all such messes

well not all of them

actually its really only jaehwan

which he doesn't understand cause jaehwan is literally a ghost

he sings whenever he cleans and its the prettiest thing to hear 

it enamors all of the residents of the humble home

tl;dr don’t hurt this precious man you’ll have a horde of angry supernatural after you

Ong Seongwoo

actually he’s just fully human

,,,

with a catch

he hunts down demons

not the ones who try to live peacefully like jisung

the bad ones that cause harm to people and other beings

a Good Demon Hunter ™

he doesn't necessarily live in the home with the rest of the gang 

mostly due to the fact he really cant put any of his equipment there without giving minhyun a heart attack

who wouldnt get the scare of a lifetime when you see someone casually polishing a large katana that had blood on it

but hes basically there 24/7 when he doesn’t have a job to do

like it’ll be three am and daniel would be getting up to get a drink and nearly go wolf and attack in surprise at seongwoo casually sitting on the couch watching tv eating some ramyeon 

daniel does help him with his job sometimes! but seongwoo doesn’t let him go to the dangerous ones

a. cause he cares about daniel

b. jisung would actually kill him

hes still a jokester and plays pranks with the others

tells spooky stories about demons hes hunted to rile up the kids

is then told off later by jisung who had to deal with daehwi nearly shooting his head off with a spell and woojin setting fire to his bed in alarm

“whoops”

when hes on the job tho

hoo boy

he turns so serious, a complete opposite from that jokester persona he puts on around the gang

there are a lot more jobs around halloween than any other time because hallow’s eve is when demons are at their highest activity rate

so that means he gets no sleep as he hunts down demons

he doesn’t stop until his job is done

so you could not see him for weeks

then all of a sudden hes just there eating corn flakes like

“sup, how ya doing?” 

and he’ll have his arm in a cast, multiple limbs wrapped up, and be limping

but is just so casual about it

save this man

Kim Jaehwan

so funny story

hes dead

no like

he died a while ago but

hes a ghost now

hes learned how to manifest his energy in a more physical being though!

but this is also a bad thing because

he plays pranks

all the time

and he haunts sungwoon and minhyun so imagine how fun that must be for them

everyone jokingly calls him a banshee and says to move on already but they don’t actually mean that

he knows that too

so he just blows a kiss towards them and laughs as the cringe away

when he does become a more physical version of himself, he likes to play the guitar when minhyun sings

the combo is lovely

he lays on the other members who complain

and he just goes 

“i’m a ghost you cant push me off thats disrespecting the dead”

they threaten with salt and its like wow suddenly he has to go water his roof

one time someone managed to break in and he scared them so bad by floating through the doors

he didn’t actually know that there was a burglar he was going to go try and get one of those vials that sungwoon made that lets him eat food so he can eat something

hes now the guard dog for the house. 

he doesn’t remember how he died, no one does, and he doesn’t like to talk about it

overall, he’s a very mischievous ghost who does care about the people he haunts. 

Kang Daniel

alright i think a lot of people saw this one coming

our boi is a wolf

actually, he’s pretty young for a wolf

he still has a hard time actually turning and prefers to just stay human to eat his food and do other things

he’s getting the hang of it don't worry

he has his hyungs and friends to help him

when he is able to turn he is just a big fluffy dog to be very honest

one time when they were having a picnic at the local park and daniel was in wolf form for the day, seongwoo jokingly threw a ball for daniel to catch, thinking he wouldn't

daniel chased it all the way into the forest and brought it back

needless to say he won’t be able to live that down

ever

“so pup, did you eat dinner yet”

“hyung stop, it was one time”

he cant really eat a lot of produced stuff well

it doesn’t sit right with him

he cant have chocolate either

which really bums him out

que sungwoon to the rescue again with a potion for everything

so he lives off meat and vegetables

but he is somehow able to eat gummies just fine

which he is scolded for but he still does it anyways

he dances in his free time when he isn’t in school

or you know hunting

he doesn’t hunt often, and when he does it is only with small creatures

he feels bad afterward and doesn’t come out of his room for a while

poor wolfie

a living heater v.2

helps seongwoo with his hunts 

as in he tracks them but isn't allowed anywhere near the site for his safety

he complains but begrudgingly goes back 

he’s just a big ol dog who wants to eat what he wants and dance in peace 

[swearronchanel]

Kicking off the hiatus with 5.04

A few people have requested that I continue my commentaries™ during the hiatus & after all the positive feedback, I couldn’t say no! But I expected to have an awful day & it actually went well so I thought I’d go ahead and do it now. You know since I’m going to avoid all my responsibilities anyway it might as well be for a good cause🙃

I watched a lot of shameless on Netflix today so it’s nice to watch something wholesome for a change of pace 😂

“The world was shifting on its axis in 1961, strides were being made, decisions taken, questions asked..” Vanessa’s narration is always on point like I wish I had the patience to post all her quotes 😭😂

Aw sister Mary Cynthia! I hope she’s in the Christmas special

My bby trixie looking flawless while riding a bike, goals

But who is this nun they’re having a service for lol ??

Like it’s kinda irrelevant oops,  r i p & dios te bendiga but why do we care? at least I don’t

Isn’t this girl from something? She looks so familiar

i remember saying this before .. oh yea she’s from game of thrones I think. I don’t watch it though haha

“Angel? I could get used to that!” Aw my bby is so cute like yes trix ur an angel

yikes that cough lady, I have a stuffy nose rn and I’m hoping I don’t start coughing 😭cause then I wanna be in a coma cause I hate being sick

Aw he'a so excited! He got into university👏🏼 that was legit me though 😂 I’m so irrational and literally only applied to one university (well I filled out many applications but didn’t submit any others because you gotta pay so I tried to wait and see if I got accepted to where I wanted first😂) I found out in English while on my phone instead of doing work & I screamed and just ran out the classroom 😂 I went to my guidance councilor and told everyone in the main office and then called my parents who *were nervous I wouldn’t get in* but also were literally going through security in the airport on their way to Dominican Republic .. ah, I was full of excitement and hope. Look at me now 3 semesters in &I’m over it 😂😂 it’s so stressful and mentally/emotionally draining and sometimes I’m just like how do I become a trophy wife asap?

BACK TO THE SHOW THOUGH

My bby SHELAGH! 😍 she is so precious in her suit aww, but lets be real the navy suit is the best™ one she owns. But I still like her best in uniform at the clinic though 💁🏼

she’s over here giving a talk on giving birth at home & Im just like holy shit SHE JUST HAD A BABY IN THEIR NEW HOME, I STILL CANT BELIEVE IT😭!!!!

Tom’s so excited for Ian it’s so cute and sweet

And Tom is so cute and attractive ugh, he could get it

oh damn wait Mrs Cottingham has the baby with no limbs

aw yea and she wanted a girl

I agree though little boys are gremlins 😂😂 from ages like 7-14, get them away from me 😂

Ian all hopeful for their future and then boom he’s a dad. That went from 0 to 💯 real quick

Phyllis!! & lol sister W giggling

But damn why they all acting like Sister J is too old and incapable 😂 she wants to go to St Cuthberts, let her

Sister Monica Joan upset aw😭 don’t worry sister you’re Help is needed

Pats and Deels look cute “tanning” outside

“You want to see Anita Ekberg in that fountain just as much as I do”  Lmaoo 😂😂 for real though have u ever seen La Dolce Vita? Like Anita Ekberg was too hot to handle. I wish I looked that good damn

Trixie came to thirdwheel even though she isn’t unaware she is lol

But Trixie is serving summer looks™ I love it 😍

Damn though Patsy’s legs are pretty pasty 😂😂

Trixie wondering what the hell kinda magic bra Anita had on, literally same cause I want it. Always need good quality strapless bras for summer👍🏻

Patsy inviting Trixie and Delia gave the side eye omg 😂

Here comes Babs lmao

LOL DEELS IS SALTY OMG

ugh this is when Babs first got with Tom and they were annoying lmao, I got over it though

If I was Trixie I’d be lowkey mad too like that was her ex-fiancé but I’m glad they got over it and are friends despite that 💕 cause I know petty girls that would just cut the other off

WHY DO THEY PRONOUNCED SCHEDULE LIKE THAT? And honestly How?? Like I can’t even lol it’s hard. Oops is my American showing

Sister J out here

Ohh yea this matron is a bitch lmao, vete ya

What is the correlation between going to grammar school and getting pregnant ?? @ Ian’s mom

Lol Trixie’s just like pls don’t ask me

ugh get this nurse/matron or what ever tf she is off my screen before I smack her

I swear Jenny Agutter has such a relaxing voice, like she really can calm you down & tell you all will be well & you’ll just be like “yea you right”😭

Tom is so rational and sensible because if I walked in I’d immediately start screaming and all that like “calm tf down people" 

Pats and Deels sneaking around in a convent lol it gives me anxiety always thinking “oh shit u think someone will walk in?”

LOL OKAY TOM YOU TELL YOURSELF TRIXIE IS MAD ABOUT SOMETHING ELSE

Damn Tom you just made Babs feel like a rebound™

“Who’s to say we won’t carry on” ya will be fine & get married next year chill out

So Babs is only 23, how old are the other nurses *well how old do you think*??

WHEN WILL WE SEE A NONNATUN BIRTHDAY?? *I preferably want to see Trixie or Shelagh have one* but I’d take anyone really, like these people literally celebrate every other damn holiday/event but no one has had a birthday?? Except for Jenny and Chummy but they’re both gone lol

yikes emphysema, one of my grandfathers died from that. 70 odd years of tobacco smoking 😬 he did someone love to be 85 yrs old though. Idk how, he couldn’t breathe for so long

I love Phyllis just saying again for the millionth time

Aw Trix 💔 you will be happy soon💕😭

See! She said w/o Sister J she’d be screaming! Her presence is calming

Emergency c-section aye dios

Turn up at the pub

Lol funny how the dad gave Tom orange juice bc he’s a vicar but he was drunk af the night before his wedding 😂 drunk enough to have little memory and to be hungover the next day

we’ve all been there tho I don’t judge

Is it really CtM if there’s not at least one mention of babycham a series?

c-sections are wild omg

also I’ve never been under anesthesia so I’d be scared af

LOL & also I’ve never had a kid so that’s scary too duh

“Oh God another one” ahh omg

Do you think that was a doll ??

Again this show makes everything look real af so I never know

Is the doctor here the Mr Kenely that I hate??

They really left that baby there to die like o m g

Sister J praying/blessing the baby 💔💔 my freaking heart omg

again this nurse is on my screen and I need her to go, preferably to carajoland

“may the lord bless you and keep you”!! 💔😭

the third deformed baby and they didn’t report it??

“I’m not drunk” I mean you’re sitting on the floor in the bathroom so I’d think you were too 😂

Lol remember.. *cringes* no wait lets not

Tom worked in a record shop that’s cute

damn Tom do you really think telling them to just settle is the best way to comfort him

Aw sister J needs a hug😭😢💕

and yes prayer you’re right sister MJ

Sister MJ, Sister MC & Sister J comforting each other is so pure, all the they have scenes together wash my sins away for a second

wait where tf is sister Winifred lmao, did she just scadaddle after compline? snuck out to see a heathen movie i bet  jk jk I’m sure she only sneaks to quality films

but then I say dumb shit like that ^ or even worse/more inappropriate & the sins return😂😂

There’s my bby Shelagh! And in uniform, love it. 😭😍

Whenever Shelagh goes back to work next series I hope we see more of her being a nurse cause I love it

Wild that the hospital was just not saying anything about the deformed babies

Sister J coming to the best detective in Poplar, Dr Watson aka Shelagh Turner aka secret agent Shealgh Turnova™ 😂😂 *forever one of my fave lines of hers*

Lmao Tim helping out old ladies, being a good seed & too perfect of a teen

But damn boy comb your hair!

“I haven’t boiled any urine today, nice to have a change of pace” Lol Babs😂😂

oh no she’s bleeding 😢

I’m having flashbacks to Shelagh’s threatened miscarriage like lets not go down that painful memory lane  

Sister J told Ruby it was a girl bc she knew she wanted a girl ughhh 😢

Ruby thinks it was a punishment 💔 ugh my heart & ugh again makes me think of when Shelagh thought she was being punished/greedy when they told her she couldn’t have a baby 💔

Stop the sadness I say, stop it now

“We haven’t got a fairy godmother between us” WHERE IS PHYLLIS WHEN SHE IS NEEDED?

And Poor what’s her name 💔💔

oh yea it’s Linda omg how could I forget that’s my Gram’s name

But Shelagh and Trixie are interacting!!

It’s about a patient but at least they’re speaking right .. LMAO BUT WAIT ILL NEVER BE OVER HORMONAL SHELGH YELLING AT TRIXIE ABOUT THE FAMILY PLANING CLINIC ENTRANCE

ALSO: I’LL KEEP SAYING IT TILL I DIE, ALL I WANT IS A TRIXIE & SHELAGH FRIENDSHIP! 😭😭💕💖💖 they’re my bbys and I’ve been asking nicely

shit ¡¡ @beatrix-franklin wrote a damn essay as to why we need/want it !!

PLS LET IT HAPPEN @ HEIDI & OTHER WRITERS😭💔

Shelagh’s grey cardigan is actually cute *she just doesn’t need anymore lol*

“What the poor pet really needs is a good cry, a bottle of aspirin and a hug in no particular order..but the hug is of prime importance”  you see. We could’ve have a cute scene of Trixie visiting Shelagh in the hospital & a little parallel of when she visited her in the sanatorium

or Just give me Trixie hugging Shelagh and I’ll cry of joy 😭💕

omg wait

shit I forgot Ian put his head in the oven

Angela playing on the floor !! So precious 💖

“..Don’t think they’d thank you for that Patrick, they’re both younger than me”  Lol I always laugh at that, it’s kinda cute. I like when Shelagh has funny lines , why didn’t Patrick say anything back 😂 there could’ve been cute playful banter. Even this series we could’ve heard him call her an elderly primigravida is a joking/playful banter context ..BUT at least we know now Shelagh is 36!

Yea man those bombs impacted multiple generations

“So World War II is history now is it?” I seriously love these little lines of Shelagh’s lol. Also funny how she prob sees her self as old, and she was what, like my age, when the war needed?? 18 or 19 depending on her birthday (We’d know but nonnatuns apparently don’t ever have birthdays)

Shit. Wait..I feel. Kinda strange and scary to think my future children will learn in school the events I’ve lived through so far ??

okay lets not think about that

what’s the sluice? I know he washes instruments but what exactly is the sluice? The room ? Idk

Aw Angela crying, one of the the only times we’ve heard her make a sound lol

WAIT HE COULD BE SUED FOR BREAKING THE ENGAGEMENT WHAT??

“How long have we been broken off?” “A year. To be precise a year and ten days”  I know they weren’t really a good match but aw 😭 it was nice while it lasted

Trixie Bby 💔💔 happiness is coming your way I promise

“I never know when I love you the most. But I sometimes think these are the times I love you best..”😭😭 BYE IM DEAD AGAIN & MY HEART EXPLODED AGAIN😭💔💕💕

thinking about it though, they’ve never actually said I love you properly, have they??

See Patrick’s little med school anecdote, can Shelagh share one anytime soon? About anything from her past, I’m just curious.

Was that just a piece of “in the mirror” or is it playing in my head? Honestly it happens quite often, I’ll swear I hear a song and it’s actually in my head

alright Ian so why were you marrying her? you switching it up kid

I’m calling him kid like he’s not probably older than me lmao

Phyllis in her robe I love it

Trixie serving yet another look™😍

I’m so glad Trixie gave Babs her “blessing” & became good friends. So pure, we don’t need any more women being put against each other

“Fuzzy felt apostles” WHY AM I LAUGHING AT THAT? It’s not even funny?

Now the service for a nun we never knew, filled with extra nuns we will never know or care about.

I love that the nurses are at the service lol, like they probably don’t have to be but still there for fam

& Shelagh there wearin a mantilla, so sweet😭��

“God hugs you” aw sister MC 😭❤️

You gotta admit even if you aren’t religious this show does make you feel some type of faith

“We knew so little then, in a world that seems so filled of opening doors and bright horizons. We thought only of what was new and better because it was new and better. And it would take us to places we had never been before.” VANESSA😭 she never fails with the narration, never.

Trixie helping Babs fix her bracelet bc there’s no hard feelings and she’s happy for them aw

“..We couldn’t see what was coming or understand yet what had already come to pass, yet so much still to learn”

Oh shit that foreshadow was heavy, especially because it ends with a shot of baby cottinghams body in the box.

I don’t think I picked up on that the first time ..                                     Anyway it’s 1:15am I should go to bed I have class in the morning 😭😂

The End.🙃

[aylinnia]

Trying To Be (Re posted)

what could you tell your mother even in the womb.  what language did you speak at birth? to those around you those strange big people with there words

why scare us from are self we are all unique people so discounting one by world  location means by birth we chose are place of orgin ? so you say i can be born but the world around me must chose my fate

my grammer and spelling suck i deeply apologize for the bumps in sentances  i am not a child  i just suck lol

i believe  life that we as well as the life all around us is fundamentally based on rebirth i am not the same as a year ago are you? im not the same as a month ago nor the moment i decided to speak my mind (or even when*). we are in essence dieing each moment to fuel the life of the next. ever changing yet with a origin just a moment before and a moment before that infinitely  like a tree that dies and with its life gives birth to unperdictied possibility that can be missed even when your there to see it..... the rock cycle.... weather.... cultures..... knowledge are very cells die and change infinitely  But through heart intuition and wisdom  we can understand how things are reborn how they flow and ripple their life's energy all around the fabric of are perceived reality affecting everything and then in-turn these things become flipped they are now being infinitely born the wonder and possibility of a wisdom guided world and a understanding through the intuition of the heart (i finish this Thought*).................  so let us sow seeds of kindness love and understanding but guard it like a fragile hope until it is awareness and truth (|it cant be done alone Greater change takes Greater change|)

what beauty this world holds all that lives even when we dont know it a core of life in all things

also a visual thing think of your 3 favorite things now put them in front of you (in your head) is a space you want so you could say (art,cars,video games / guns,boats,movies / antiques,medevil faires,church whatever is most you inside yourself for whatever reason) now as you see them push them closer together in your head see how you feel (your paints are all over your video games You betrayed me! paint :O your antique got broke at a medevil fair careless mace wielder :O some one shot your boat with a gun what!? :O well heck you probably hate something you love just a little in that moment it makes you cring to think about. now throw your greatest fear on something you love......... now youre like NO!!! or you crazy thrill seekers and artful twists of a creative ideas maybe you got something from it but in the end we all have are things dont we every one of us <3) and we all have are or trying to be us the best we can.... can not the strong belive in the weak and inturn the weak become strong can the weak teach the strong a greater strength and continue for ever for the best of all of humanity  

:Animus7Wanderer3 if i faild i mean well if my well is poisoned show me help me find clean water and i will be ever greatfull as long as the earth alows

[duckanonisbackandgonnafucku-blog]

THE TEXT VERSIO XDXDX

This is a conversation between Miseru and yourself, YOASSISAMINE.

YOASSISAMINE: WANNA HEAR THE BEST THING EVER

Miseru: Yes

YOASSISAMINE: Tito climbed into Reggie's room and immediately punched her in the face, knocking her out cold. Upon awakening Reggie found herself bound and gagged to a chair. Tito was naked, standing in front of her with a big Hawaii boner staring her in the face. "As the ancient Hawaiians used to say... it's time for a dicking!" And at that, Tito leaped forward and grabbed Reggie's undeveloped breast. He grabbed with all his might, and ripped the skin from her body. Her muffled screams fell flat, and no one came to her help. The blood aroused Tito more than he'd ever been aroused. It reminded him of the stories his mother used to tell him of the ancient Hawaiin sacrifices in which the subjects would receive wounds to which the sacrificers would rape. He couldn't wait, Tito grabbed a hammer and smashed at Reggie's ribcage, again her screams were not heard. After breaking an opening to her insides, Tito plunged in. He thrust in and out in complete ecstasy. The pain was unbearable for Reggie and she lost consciousness. Tito came almost immediately, but he was by no means done. He pulled out of her chest, his PENIS dripping blood and semen. Tito cleaned his dick off with Reggie's tongue. Tito tore out a few of the ribs he had broken and shoved them up his ass to stimulate his enormous prostate. Tito then undid Reggie's restraints and began fucking her now lifeless corpse. After deploying his Hawaiin happy sauce, he decided he wanted a better look at Reggie. Tito shoved his hand up Reggie's ass. He thrust it in as far as he could and grabbed on to the first organ he could, and then pulled out. He ripped out her entire small intestine and part of her large. Tito started to giggle and coiled up the small intestine like a rope. He noticed the sun was coming up so he had to finish in a hurry. Tito went to his clothes and dressed himself. He pulled a large knife from his pocket and began to skin Reggie's body. Just then Tito remembered, he was not man, but bear. He Skinned himself to reveal his true identity, a Grizzly Bear. He sat in the center of the room for several hours until Reggie's father came in. "Reggie it's time for schoo-HOLY FUCKING SHIT A BEAR OH MY GOD REGGI-" and Tito attacked and ate Ray. Then Tito went outside and let out a bear noise and a ray came from the sky and swept him away to his home planet of Canada.

YOASSISAMINE: A MASTERPIECE

Miseru: ONe sec I’m reading it

YOASSISAMINE: OK

YOASSISAMINE: AND NOW FOR SOMETHING VERY HOT

Miseru: Ok send away

YOASSISAMINE: One day while Andy was masturbating, Woody got wood. He could no longer help himself! He watched as Andy stroked his juicy kawaii cock. He approached Andy which startled him and make him pee everywhere on the floor and on Woody too. Being drenched in his urine made him harder than ever! Woody: "Andy Senpai! I'm alive and I want to be INSIDE OF YOU." Andy: "Oh Woody Chan! I always knew you were alive! I want to stuff you up my kawaii ass!" Woody grabbed a bunch of flavored lube and rubbed it all over his head Woody: "Oh my! It's cherry flavored lube! Cherry is my favorite! Woody then stuffed his head up into Andy's tight ass! The other toys around the room watched intently as Woody shoved his head back and forth into Andy's nice ass, continuously making a squishy wet noise. The other toys also became aroused and they all gathered around Woody and Andy and started to urinate all over them, and then they started to masturbate. Andy: "Oh my goodness, Woody Chan! You are churning my insides up so well! Your nose is stimulating my prostate! OH YES! All the other toys became so aroused by this, that they could not help themselves anymore! They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside. All of them wanted to be inside Andy's nice round ass. Andy: "No wait guys! My ass cannot hold this much! I'm getting so full! All the toys went inside of poor squirming Andy and pretty much, he was beyond full, and died from having his insides completely damaged. The mother came inside and found Andy, dead with a huge ass hemorrhage on his anus, with a HUGE belly full of toys.

YOASSISAMINE: HOLY FUCK THIS NEXT ONE 2 SEXY FOR TH WORLD

YOASSISAMINE: Lil Pump is a child prodigy. At a mere three years of age, he was able to fully master the English language. When he turned five, he enrolled at Hamburger State University. There, he earned his bachelors degree in Lyrical Composition with a concentration in mumble rap. By six, he had mastered calculus and started writing PhD level academic papers. While he struggled a bit with integral calculus, he figured it out through dedication and hardwork over almost twenty-three minutes. In one of his papers, he addresses a mathematical application of music that transcends human logic, acting as the spark for his music career. But before he could start on his journey to musical stardom, he resolved to finish his PhD. By eight, his intellectual capacity had exceeded that of an average twenty-eight and a half year old. Realising his prodigious growth, Lil Pump thought he should spend some time in self reflection to get a better grasp on what he could expect of himself in future. So, he went to the Himalayas for 7 years to find himself. There, he interacted with thirty-five yetis and managed to convince the Hindu god, Shiva to add him on Snapchat. After returning, Lil Pump kept his accomplishments secret, so people won't make a big deal out of them. He's always been the modest type. Finally, he started his music career. Having attained the status of a superhuman entity, nothing he has recently said seems to be comprehensible. Coming to your question, no, he did not drop out of Harvard. But that's irrelevant. Continuing with his story: His recent hit, “Gucci Gang”, is a work of art that scholars at top institutions around the world have failed to decipher. Lines from that lyrical masterpiece such as: “Gucci Gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang Gucci gang” and “mah bih luh do cocaine” have felt academicians puzzled as to their true meaning, with seventeen Harvard professor having committed suicide after realising their relative inferiority as compared to the god-man himself.

Miseru: Hm that one was interesting

Miseru: So it’s that what happened

YOASSISAMINE: yeah

YOASSISAMINE: gucci gang is the best song in the world

Miseru: Hm I never would have thought

YOASSISAMINE: ok nexzt one its exrtra spicy

Miseru: Ok send away

YOASSISAMINE: I'm just like everyone else. I'm a normal guy. I go to school, work a part-time job, and in my free time, I play videogames or go out with my friends. However, some may call me a "Mama's boy." I disagree. I think it is perfectly fine to have a healthy and friendly relationship with one's one birthgiver. Often, I will spend my days watching Netflix shows with my mother, baking cupcakes with her, and shopping for various items with her. I love my mother dearly, and I share many aspects of my life with her. However, there is one thing that she must never know; something that I personally believe to be fine, but I know mother dearest would be upset over, so I never inform her of it. More times than I could count, I have snuck into my mother's bathroom, and stolen her dried, bloody, used feminine products. I find them irresistible. I am a great white, in that I can smell her blood from miles away, and immediately seek it out. On nights where I don't sleep with my sweet mommy, I go into my own room and lock the door before indulging in her excrement. I always have a cup of water handy, to help wash down the fibers. I eat them whole, string and all, consuming the mucus and tissue absorbed from my mother's delectable uterus. If I can find the plastic casing then it's always a bonus for me, as I eat those too. Don't tell my mom about this, she'll take away my Xbox One and then I won't be able to play Fortnite anymore, and then I would be really sad.

Miseru: Hm

Miseru: where do you find these

YOASSISAMINE: the internet man

YOASSISAMINE: i think reddit is huge poopyfuckcock

Miseru: the internet is an interesting place

YOASSISAMINE: but r/copypasta is great

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.newgrounds.com/bbs/topic/878204

Miseru: hm

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/57k36k/woodys_got_wood/

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/7v5iu6/lil_pump/

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.reddit.com/r/copypasta/comments/8fc40f/oc_eating_my_mothers_used_tampons/

Miseru: thets a lot of redit

Miseru: i cant spell

YOASSISAMINE: lots of other places were you can find these beauties

Miseru: Hm

Miseru: got anymore?

YOASSISAMINE: also here's a reall y good one

Miseru: Hm better then the others

YOASSISAMINE: https://www.funnyjunk.com/channel/cringe-channel/One+of+the+biggest+cases+of+autism/BLYMLOY#f190d1_5236800

Miseru: Hm

YOASSISAMINE: there's also a mario one but i haven't read it

Miseru: Ok

YOASSISAMINE: i think this is hte original

YOASSISAMINE: the funniest thing is that the rest of the post sweren't about their own autistic video games things

YOASSISAMINE: they were just making fun of OP

Miseru: Oh

Miseru: im gunna leave you

Miseru: for another

YOASSISAMINE: rip

Miseru: so this is goodbye

YOASSISAMINE: bye my deasr frond

YOASSISAMINE: BOOK MARK THEM

Miseru: Ok one sec then 

[babymyharry]

92 truths

i was tagged by @adashofniallandasprinkleoflunacy & @fairylightsstyles !! love u binches 💘✨

Rules: Once you have been tagged you are supposed to write 92 truths about yourself. At the end, you choose 25 people to tag! (lol yikes i’m a loser on here so idk abt that)

THE LAST… 
1. Drink: to be real with u i don’t drink much and when i do it’s at high school parties but i did try a lemon drop when i was in europe last summer and my cousin sneaked me in to a club & it was pretty above average 🤔 but ig the last “drink” was a coke w coconut (idk either??) vodka and that was a wild night lmao

2. Phone call: my (kinda) mans?

3. Text message: my friend chris

4. Song you listened to: wild thoughts 😛😛

5. Time you cried: uhm i think it was wednesday it was v dramatic

HAVE YOU EVER… 
6. Dated someone twice: this dude in middle school lmao we dated for like a hot minute in 6th grade and then rekindled our love on the class trip in eighth grade aw young love

7. Been cheated on: yeah:/

8. Kissed someone and regretted it: truth or dare games fuckin suck

9. Lost someone special: my grandma was my best friend and i didn’t talk to anyone for a solid month when she passed

10. Been depressed: when i had anorexia but that was a pretty long time ago so :)

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: nah blackout drunk doesn’t sound appealing

LIST 3 FAVOURITE COLORS: 
12. lilac

13. forest green

14. gold

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU… 
15. Made new friends: yes lmao i dropped so many friends last year so i had to make more AND my groupchat homies that i luv dearly

16. Fallen out of love: yes

17. Laughed until you cried: i surround myself with good vibes so yes many times

18. Found out someone was talking about you: oh my god rumors spread faster than wildfire at my school yes

19. Met someone who changed you: changed me? i guess they made me a better person but idk about changing me

20. Found out who your true friends are: my friend group collapsed last year and i figured out who was still around after that

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: who uses facebook anymore

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: i deleted my facebook like freshmen year so ?¿

23. Do you have any pets: oh my god 3 dogs and 2 cats it’s like a zoo of fluff at my house

24. Do you want to change your name: nah i’m cool

25. What did you do for your last birthday: my friend max threw me a surprise party and it got wayyyy too lit to be honest

26. What time did you wake up: today i woke up at 6 to see the sunrise bc my kinda mans has a balcony in his room with a good ass view for that

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: sleeping lmao i’m a grandma

28. Name something you cannot wait for: my shawn concert!!!

29. When was the last time you saw your mother: tonight when she exposed me so i’m currently not speaking w her lmao

30. What is one thing you wish you could change about your life: maybe if my parents could be home more, they’re not really around much sometimes and that kinda sucks

31. What are you listening to right now: this weird ass netflix movie that my little cousin is forcing me to watch bc nash grier is in it kill me now

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: my friend abigail’s dad’s name is tom and lemme tell u he’s lowkey a dilf 🤔👀

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: this netflix movie it’s so cringe

34. Most visited website: snapchat i think??

35. Elementary: worst 8 years of my life

36. High School: finally almost done

37. College/university: im going lmao

38. Hair colour: blonde

39. Long or short hair: my hair was down to my butt and i just chopped it all off (yes, i pulled a harry styles) to my shoulders to donate and i honestly really like it short!!

40. Do you have a crush on someone: :-)

41. What do you like about yourself: i think i’m a pretty nice and chill person like i’m totally bragging here but i was voted funniest and nicest junior this year for the yearbook and like :D that’s just a nice feeling and it was validated !!

42. Piercings: technically two on both ears and when i was 15 i let my boyfriend’s (now ex boyfriend lol) older brother’s friend pierce my nose bc i wanted to piss my dad off but i don’t wear anything in it anymore so

43. Blood type: o negative actually!!

44. Nickname: a looootttt of my friends call me aj (like more than my actual name) and then some just call me manda but yeah aj is the most nickname outa those so

45. Relationship status: i’m a fuckboy man idk what’s going on

46. Zodiac sign: cancer

47. Pronouns: she/her

48. Favourite TV show: criminal minds omgggg how do you become a screen writer bc i have some dope ideas for that show lemme tell you

49. Tattoos: none but i wanna get some!!

50. Right or left hand: righty

FIRST… 
51. Surgery: spinal fusion man it succckkkeedd

52. Piercing: ears

54. Sport: i started ballet when i was 3 idk if that counts but

55. Vacation: my aunt and uncle’s lake house in montana

56. Pair of trainers: they were these cute little adidas there’s sooo many pics of me in those

57. Eating: that di… plz excuse me lmfao but nah i’m actually eating watermelon :-)

58. Drinking: water 💦

59. I’m about to: jump off a building bc i was exposed tonight by my very own parents 👍🏼

60. Listening to: now me and my little cousin are watching captain america (only bc i saw andrea’s post and decided to try it idk why i trust trash but im)

61. Waiting for: my trust issues to choke

62. Want: mozzarella sticks idk

63. Get married: yeah one day

64. Career: something in film so like cinematography or directing or just something creative like that 😋

YOUR TYPE… 
65. Hugs or kisses: depends on who it is ya feel

66. Lips or eyes: eyes definitely

67. Shorter or taller: well like.. boys fs taller but girls idc ?¿

68. Older or younger: older bc immaturity is a turn off

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: not to make everything about harold but he’s just got the perf body to me like toned arms and a soft tummy.. yes please

71. Sensitive or loud: i mean they gotta be both in certain situations but overall i guess loud

72. Hook up or relationship: i’m a fucking mess i have trust issues AND commitment issues so like.. both make death appealing

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: troublemaker fs

HAVE YOU EVER… 
74. Kissed a stranger? again, truth or dare games suck

75. Drank hard liquor? once but it was at this rich white boy’s house and i deadass felt like he snuck it from his grandpa’s stash to get it and i was like ?¿ 🌚

76. Lost glasses contact/lenses: i don’t wear them so

77. Turned someone down: i curve like 90% of the dudes hitting me up like boys are just annoying tbh

78. Sex on first date: i mean my virginal self would not kno but i have made out with a couple guys at parties or whatever so

79. Broken someone’s heart: yes and i’m not sorry lmao

80. Had your heart broken: it’s awful man yeah

81. Been arrested: totally came close one time bc ig someone called the cops on the party i was at and police showed up and my freshmen ass ran so fast bitch i was usain bolt deadass

82. Cried when someone died: oh yeah

83. Fallen for a friend: i mean it was mutual but unfortunately

DO YOU BELIEVE IN
84. Yourself: i do

85. Miracles: i think some crazy things can happen that make ppl value that particular thing a lot more but idk about miracles

86. Love at first sight: lust at first sight* bc u cant be in love with someone’s outer appearance without knowing what they’re like as a person

87. Santa Claus: a very small part of me

88. Kiss on the first date: why not

89. Angels: definitely

OTHER… 
90. Current best friend’s name: kelsey

91. Eye colour: blue

92. Favourite movie: the devil wears prada always 🗣

imma tag @ihearthemcallingxx @stylessemantics @honeyskins @moonchildstyles @hardliquorhaz @nips-and-tats @iloveyouhaz @inwhichitrytowritesomething @jadexthirlwalls @tiostyles (idk if any of u have already done this omg sry)