#and then I realized. oh god oh fuck it's a migraine isn't it :/

[onrainynights]

my sister fell asleep on the heater vent in the same room where the thermostat is and it made our bathroom so hot that when I took a shower it triggered a migraine :/ and I have work today. fuck.

[glacierclear]

ISN'T BITE ALSO TOUCH?

fuckboy!leon x gn!reader (maybe a few gendered terms oops)

content: hurt/no comfort, angst, arguments, passive aggression, mentions of drugs/alcohol

Your best friend is a fuckboy. He ditches you at a party. You argue. Maybe they were right about him.

[ao3 link]

They all tried to tell you. Every single one of them.

He’s bad news, don’t bother. You would scoff.

He’s nothing but a walking penis. He doesn’t care about anything. And you’d roll your eyes.

Every red flag. Every warning sign. Every flashing light. You refused to heed any of them. And you tilled, and you sowed, and you fed. And now? You were reaping.

“I don’t get what the big deal is. You’re a big kid. You don’t need a damn babysitter.” His hands remained clenched, balled up and shoved into the pouch of his hoodie. His posture was lax. Noncommittal. He stared into a wall, his expression detached and unreachable.

“When you called me up tonight to drag me to some stupid frat party, I at least expected you to like, stay with me,” you countered. “We weren’t even there for an hour before you up and ditched me. Streaking across campus like a moron.” The base of your neck throbbed, the fledgling burn of an oncoming migraine. Your clothes still reeked of burnt weed and the cloyingly pungent whiff of cotton candy vape smoke.

“You should be fucking grateful. Wouldn’t have gotten into that party without me. Shit was the best thrasher of the month.” He lifted his head, scorching you with that know-it-all smirk. It huffed the coals of your stomach. You felt like puking.

“I didn’t…oh my god, Leon. I didn’t go for the party. I thought you…I don’t know. I thought you actually wanted to hang out. Have a good night.”

Your fingers burrowed their way through the folds of your sheets and you stayed perched at the edge of your bed. Leon hovered at your doorway, barely present in the space of your dorm, his contour fuzzed with casting light.

He didn’t say anything. Your eyes pulsed and stung. “Look. I’m not mad, I just–”

“You should be.”

“What?”

It’s then that he finally dared to meet your eyes. Blue hues swallowed whole by the pitch of his pupils, seeking you past tendrils of mussed, blonde hair.

“You should be mad. Why aren’t you? Cuz’, you’re right. I fucking ditched you. Like a moron.” He flung the word back with acid and you winced away. “God forbid I have some fun, right? Forgot you’re too much of a buzzkill to actually have fun at a party.”

There’s a throttling impulse to scream at him. Tell him off for being unreasonable and kick his ass to the curb like last week’s trash. But you’ve danced to this song before. The repeating pattern and pervasive enigma of Leon’s refusal to invest himself; emotionally, or otherwise.

So, you sucked in a steadying breath, filled your lungs with patience, and spoke softly.

“It’s not just about the party,” you began, and passively, you noticed him shift. “I mean…streaking? You realize that if you got caught doing that…you wouldn’t have a scholarship anymore. Hell, maybe you’d be expelled.”

The realization settled on him like a poison and you caught his face darken. As much as he denied and disguised, Leon was a smart man. Excellent standing in his classes and a whopping GPA to match the third leg he swung in his pants. It meant a lot to him.

There’s a gap of silence before he opened his mouth again.

“...well, I wasn’t caught. And it was my choice. I don’t need you nagging me like a fucking mom, alright?” His body shrunk in on itself. Caging his softer parts from the reality he narrowly avoided. On a better day, perhaps you’d chase him. Push and fight for a break in his shell, a crevice that gave way to the man you knew he was capable of being. But, God, your head was shattering. Your nausea was worsening. You weren’t making progress.

“Right, well, sorry for caring, Leon,” you relented, turning away from him to click your phone into its charger. “I’m going to bed. Don’t bother inviting me to any more parties.”

Your gaze left him, you weren’t fully aware of his body, but in the fleeting moments following your surrender he’s on you. Lurking above you like the baleful firmament of a roaring summer storm. You hardly had the time to open your mouth before he’s speaking. No, he’s growling. Revving the engine of his fury.

“...so that’s it? You’re not putting up with me anymore?” It could be the headache talking, but you swore you heard a tremble in his voice.

“Huh? The fuck are you–”

“We’re not friends anymore. That’s what you’re doing, right?” You searched the raging sea of his eyes for a raft. But all you did was drown. “I fucked up one too many times and now I’m just another shitty dude you had to put up with.” You watched the chipped black of his nails dig into his arms, tensed up limbs shielding him from what he’s most afraid you’ll confirm.

“Leon, that’s not…we’re still friends, okay? I just don’t want to go to parties like that anymore. Just give me a few days to cool off and we can…I dunno, we’ll hit up that burger joint you love.” It’s a pretty weak bargain, but maybe he’d bite.

And he did bite. He bit and he tore and he sought out blood.

“You’ve always had shitty taste in guys.” He practically spat at you, a scornful wrinkle deepening in the bridge of his nose. “Fucking stand up for yourself. You always let people walk all over you and act surprised when they turn out to be shitheads.”

He leaned in. You smelled him. Overpriced cologne. Underpriced shampoo. Crappy beer he drank even though he hated the taste. Despite it all, you yearned to hug him.

“Leon, I–”

“...and you know what? I don’t fucking need you. I don’t need your little dates. Your pity sex. I don’t need you looking out for my damn scholarships and I especially don’t need you making me look bad when I’m trying to let loose at the party I’ve been looking forward to all goddamn month.” You wanted him to stop. You wanted to bridge the chasm and devour his violence. If only he’d let you. But all he did was bite harder. “I won’t bother inviting you out anymore. Actually, I won’t bother talking to you at all. Have fun with your fucking life, I’m done being your fucking charity. Goodni–”

At the edge of his precipice, the void he dug for solace, Leon plummets. He straightened his spine, eyes widening and jaw hanging lifelessly. You were crying. Tears bursting without prejudice. Staining your face in vulnerability you so often only used to comfort him.

He went too far. And now, you were crying.

Neither of you moved for an eternity. From the hallway of your dorm, you hear the thundering trots of drunken friends laughing and yelling. The noise swelled and faded. The only evidence of a world beyond your room.

He called your name. His voice was so much quieter, held together with twine and stinging regret. You lifted your eyes and your throat barely allowed your words to pass.

“...Great job, Leon. Now I’m mad.” In an act of self-preservation, you tore your gaze away, burning a stare into the ground below his shoes. They’re blotched with dirt and chlorophyll, still damp from his midnight misdemeanor. “I won’t bother you anymore. If you hate me that much, I…I’ll leave you alone.”

His arms unfolded, one hand reaching out, a fragmented attempt to soothe you. But it was too late.

He repeated your name.

“I didn’t…fuck, I shouldn’t have said…hey–”

“Go home, Leon.” Your voice was unwavering, and he flinched back, your ire the open flame he’s too human to touch.

And then he left. Your dorm vibrated with the slam of the door, and you buried your face in your hands. In the place of his feet, soil stained your carpet. In the place of his warmth, sandalwood smoldered the air.

In the place of your love, all you wanted was to die.

[delta-pavonis]

For your consideration: a new Jo Constantine & Hob Gadling BFF headcanon

Once Jo gets to know Hob Gadling she realizes just how much of an absolute reckless idiot the immortal can be. She goes back through the family archives and, no joke, there is not a single name, not a single damned name in six hundred bloody years, that is not a variation on the same theme. Robert. Hob. Bobby. Bob. Rob. Roberto. Bobbie. Gadlen. Gadlind. Gadot. Gabbing. Garblen. Oh, and Jo's personal favorite, Linggad.

Might as well have been touched by the hand of God for how lucky this Endless-favored fucker has been.

So, just because that is the kind of woman Johanna Constantine is, she makes up the most absurd names she can think of to address Hob by when she is taking the piss out of him. Anything that even vaguely has the syllables or cadence of Robert Gadling. She has been going for five years straight now and not repeated a one. Proud of that record, she is.

And then she sees how Hob is looking at one particular Endless who is sitting at the end of the New Inn's bar reading a goddamned book and she feels a migraine coming on.

"Get your shit together and stop looking at Dream of the Endless like that!" Jo hisses as she elbows Hob in the ribs.

Hob nearly startles out of his socks and drops the pint glass he is putting away. "What are you talking about?"

Jo squints at Hob; if he was any dimmer she'd need a flashlight. "Hobert Gadlington, y-"

"Oh, come off it. How many years have you been doing this? Don't call me tha-"

"No. No!" Jo curls a fist into the front of his shirt and peers up into his face. "You listen here Hobbles Gadlybins. I know that look on you. I know it. Fifteen years I have been your friend and I. Know. That. Face. And I swear to Christ if I am within thirty leagues of you two when you stick your dick in that eldritch not-god it will be too close."

Hob has turned an alarming shade of red, but he isn't looking at Jo... he is staring over her shoulder.

"Constantine." Well. Fuck. She turns her head and meets unearthly blue eyes. "While I am sure Hob appreciates your absolute confidence in his ability to seduce me to the extent that he will, as you so crudely put it, stick his dick in me." Hob makes a choked noised behind her. "I regret to inform you," Dream of the Endless leans forward over the bar and into Johanna Constantine's personal space, "that I am a top."

(Thanks to @karalynlovescake for reminding me of the Eddie Izzard bit about Engelbert Humperdinck and making this spiral from there.)

[prettybrownelf]

Hi I hope your still taking requests for Brett hand? Could you do a male reader? Where reader is really awkward and new to the team. And Brett starts having a straight guy crisis when he starts falling for reader?

Lunch Date

Non MLM/NBLM DNI

a/n- so sorry this took so long life has been hectic

Pairings - Brett Hand x Male! Reader

Summary- Brett falls for the new guy at work, despite never liking a guy before

Word Count- 1006

Content Warnings- Anxiety, Fluff, Brett Is A Mess

Brett can hear his heart beating in his ears. He rubs the sweat forming on his palms onto his black slacks. The pattern ding! from the clock sends a shock through his body as he tries to keep his eyes on Reagan. 

But there was you. 

Standing next to Reagan. 

He watched as you swayed a bit in your chair, messing with a string on the end of your coat to calm your own nerves. Brett couldn't tear his eyes away from you. It made his head hurt. Not because you're attractive, that's obvious to him, but because you're a guy. 

Never once had Brett questioned his sexuality. But here he was, trembling in his chair with a beat red face over a cute guy. 

“Brett?” Reagan says. Bretts nearly jumps out of his seat as he looks at her. She lazily points to you, next to her. “Show’em around, please.” Brett nods as he quickly stands up and leads you out of the room. There isn't enough air in the building for Brett right now as he tries to act as normal as possible. 

“What's your name?” Brett asks. He tries to ignore how his voice cracks. You, however, don't seem to be as nervous anymore as you look around. “(Y/n).” Brett takes a deep breath in as he turns a corner. “Here's the lab. Reagan is normally here. She also doesn't like when people touch things.” Bretts eyes stay on you as he watches you nod along with him. 

Crushing anxiety fills Bretts chest as the two of you walk around the building. “So, what are you into outside of work?” Brett asks. His hands tremble by the side of him as he tries not to stare too hard. You give a small shrug as you talk. “I either sleep or play video games. Mostly sleep and work.” 

Brett curses to himself as he tries to keep his voice from trembling. “What kind of games?” Brett almost gags at his stupid ‘cool guy’ voice. His cheeks flare as he hears a small chuckle come from you. “Honestly? Anything that slightly peaks my interest.” Brett gives a shaky smile. A sinking feeling makes its way into Bretts chest. 

He quickly looks away once he realizes he's been staring. The rest of the tour is spent with Brett desperately trying to make sure you don't know how nervous he is. He doubts it works. 

By the end of the day Brett feels like he's been hit by a bus. His head is spinning and he's getting a migraine. 

“You good?” Reagan asks. She has a slightly worried look on her face as she catches Brett before he leaves. Brett gives the best smile he could. “Yeah! Just tired.” Reagan gives a slow nod as she looks Brett up and down. “Uh-huh.” She mumbles. 

Brett stands in silence as Reagan sighs. “Ok. What's wrong?” Before Brett can say anything, Reagan interrupts. “I don't care. Just tell me so I can go home and we can deal with it tomorrow.” Brett thinks for a moment as he stares at her. He shifts his weight from foot to foot before he mutters out his words. “I think the new guys cute.” 

Reagan’s  shoulders drop as she gives a sigh of relief. “Oh, thank god! I thought you fucked something up!” Brett feels the air trapped in his chest escape in his own sigh as he opens his car door. “No, I didn't break anything. You always think I broke something.” Reagan sips her coffee as she pats Brett’s shoulder on the way to her own car. “Don't be so weird about it! Everyone has workplace crushes.”

Brett sits in his car for a moment as he thinks to himself. Workplace crushes are normal, he has no reason to be worried! But what if you're not into that? What if he's just confused? Wouldn't he have liked a guy before if he was into guys? 

The spinning thoughts become too much for him as he finally pulls into his driveway. Brett can feel his body wanting to crash in of itself as he throws himself on his couch and groans into his cushions. 

As the world spins around him, the familiar buzzing of his phone forces him out of his whirling thoughts. 

            ‘hey, it's (y/n)’’

Brett looks at the message for a few seconds before typing with shaky fingers. 

            ‘Hey!’

He feels himself cringe in on himself as he rethinks everything he's ever done in his life up until this moment. The thoughts can't last for long though as another buzz comes quickly. 

            ‘wanna get lunch tomorrow?’

Brett types faster than he ever has in his life

            ‘Absolutely!’

As Brett texts (Y/n) about getting lunch, he can't help the twisting feeling in his stomach that gets worse with every message. Brett takes a long deep breath once he and (y/n) end the conversation. It's fine, it's just lunch with a co-worker! Don't think so deeply about it! 

Despite his best efforts, his anxiety doesn't subside that night, or the following day as he walks to a local restaurant to meet (Y/n).

Brett adjusts his collar as he walks into the building and is immediately greeted by a smiling face. 

“Hey!” You smile as the two of you get a table. Brett feels his hands getting sweaty as the two of you order. 

“So, why did you want to get lunch?” Brett asks, taking a nervous sip of his water. (Y/n) chuckles softly as a bit of heat travels to his cheeks. “Honestly, I thought you were cute. I wanted to get to know you.” 

Brett almost chokes on his water as he quickly looks at you. His voice shakes slightly as he tries his best to play cool. “You think I'm cute?” 

(Y/n) laughs with a nod. “Yes, I think you're very cute.” Brett smiles as their food arrives at the table. Brett picks up a fork as he looks back to (Y/n). 

“Well, let's get to know each other then.” 

[archiveofmiksown]

CHAPTER 2. I CAN'T STAND YOU HANGING ROUND LATELY I CAN'T STAND YOU TRYING TO SAVE ME

previous / next

              Consciousness festers like a wound; slow, red, and painful. Bubby groans as a droning buzz nips at his ears. It takes all that he is to sit there with a hand on his aching head, a low grumble leaving his lips. Memories remain fragmented, floating through the abyss of a migraine-afflicted mind.

              He had been in a room. That room. He's certain of that much. But now he feels that he isn't; there's no steel flooring beneath his fingertips or blisteringly blind lights breaking through the curtain of his eyelids. There's only him and his unfinished thoughts licking against him like flames.

              Where is he? What happened? His eyes are open but he can barely register what's in front of him. The images feel years away; like the worn surface of a fading photograph. He could almost call it dreamlike, but he doesn't dream. He shouldn't, at least.

              "...Oh my fucking god, you're actually still alive."

              The voice rises from above the haze. It is sharp and bitter and all too familiar. Bubby seizes up. He knows whose this is. He remembers. The realization is enough to jolt him from his stupor. 

              Like clouds parting, his vision clears. There he stands, slowly coming to focus, a foot tapping against the dusty, rubble-riddled floor of some non-descript Black Mesa hallway; Gordon Freeman in all his pissed-as-hell glory.

              "G-Gordon!" Bubby exclaims. He scrambles to get up. The effort kicks up the dust by his feet. His heart races. There's a surge of emotion that passes over him; the flashes of feeling unnameable save for one. Relief. Shameless of him to feel such a thing, considering everything he's done. And strange, considering his design. But he's coded to revel in security. The instinct for self-sustainment makes it so. Gordon may not be a friend, but he is familiar. A sharp contrast to the fog of half-buried memory.

              Gordon sighs that same, deep-chested sigh that he always lets out around them. "So you're awake now." he laughs, the sound hollow and disbelieving, "God, I can't believe this is real. I can't believe I'm here with you."

              Bubby flinches at the venom. He should say sorry; he wants to. But his defenses find themselves flaring up, and the hiss leaves his lips before he can stop it. "Oh, I know that tone! Go fuck yourself and die, Gordon. Do you think I wanted you to be here with you, too?"

              He kind of did. It was better than being alone. But Bubby would sooner crawl back inside his tube before admitting that.

              Gordon rolls his eyes. "Don't tell me to fuck off, man. Not when you fucking… you know—" he gestures wildly, "—chopped my hand off."

              "What? I didn't do that!" Bubby protests, "I didn't even tell them to do anything like that!"

              Gordon points an accusing finger. "Well whatever it is you told them to do, it doesn't matter. I don't have my fucking hand, and now I'm fucking alone here with you!"

              Silence falls. The last sentence echoes through the room, lingering in the air like smoke from a gun. Bubby's anger pauses as his thoughts hover around one word and one word only— alone. He frowns.

              "Wait… what do you mean alone? Where… where are the others? What happened?"

              "Huh?" Gordon blinks. Bubby's sudden turn to docility seems to have caught him off-guard. "You seriously forgot?" he hums, a thoughtfulness softening his edge. For a moment, there's a semblance of peace between the two men.

              "Well, you were out pretty cold. I was kinda hoping you'd died, but you kept screaming." Gordon's voice lowers to a murmur, "Not that I think people like you could die, anyways."

              Bubby tilts his head, blissfully ignorant of the latter part. "So I was asleep?"

              He puts a hand to his aching head. So that was all a dream. That's weird. He doesn't dream. He's not supposed to. Gordon shifts his weight from one foot to another. The aggression that steeped in the air mellows beneath the lull of their shared perplexion.

              "Yeah, man, why d'you think I kept yelling at you? I was trying to wake you up. Ugh, anyways."

              Gordon sighs, putting his hands (hand…) on his hips, "The short of it is: you begged us to let you out of your tube thing—"

              Bubby's eyes widen. Things are beginning to sound familiar. His memories, previously discarded, now surface with a renewed clarity; like a sharp intake of breath after breaching water. 

              "Oh." says he.

              "You told us to press the button—"

              Memories return. He can see it: Hands on glass, fractures on the surface, a face wrought in painful supplication. On the other side of his tube, the others in the Science Team. Staring and staring as he pleads to be freed. Their faces. The blurs. The unfinished memories. Had this really been why? 

              "...Oh."

              "—then everything kinda fucking blew up."

              Then the rapture. A white-hot, blinding return to chaos. Entropy folding unto itself and manifesting in broken glass and smoke. And a dream— one as fractured as the mind which conjured it.

              "Oh."

              "Yeah." Gordon throws his arms up, defeated, "And now I'm trapped in this side of the hall. With you."

              Bubby frowns. "You could always just leave me behind if you hate me that much."

              "God, wouldn't that be amazing?" his tone seethes with sarcasm, "But I can't. I literally fucking can't! I don't have my right hand, man, I can't fucking shoot anything with this thing! Can barely open a fucking door." he waves the aforementioned stump-remains of his hand, "You're gonna have to do it all for me."

              Realization hits him in waves, though that's not to say it's any easier for him to digest. Bubby's face transforms into a wide-mouthed look of horror.

              "...Oh god. You really are stuck with me."

              "Yeah. Yeah. You get it now? God." Gordon pinches the bridge of his nose, wincing, "Can't believe I have my fucking life in your stupid traitor hands."

              "Hey, I said I was sorry, wasn't I? I'll be better!" says Bubby.

              "You really think I'm gonna believe that?" Gordon shoots back.

              Bubby opens his mouth to respond, but can't make up the words. Guilt rises in his throat. Silence is the only answer one can give if the other party was right. At this, Gordon sighs.

              "Ugh, whatever. Let's just go. We don't have much time. And I feel myself bleeding the fuck out."

[celestial-castiel]

supernatural 13×01

heheheh I love the spooky ass eyes

OH

ooooo I like the intro for this season

oh damn nightmares are not fun

ough he couldn't even say Castiel was dead-

so Cas is just lying there dead outside while they have to chase down Jack? :[ oh no he's not ok good

angels? excuse me bitch he DID deserve better.

"everyone's normal in their own way" cute

oh I looove how creepy scary jack is

he's so cute

ough why's dean's hand busted

lol love the creepy laughter and flickering lights

why is jack so preciousssssss

aaaaaa he's just a little guyyyyyy

opp

that is a bad migraine

oh good I thought she died-

Dean still looks. idk, tired, rough. his eyes are sad and kinda red :[ he seems a little out of it. I know the feeling :/

NEPHIL. NOT NEPHILIM. GOD

can someone please hug Jack

"it's like I'm me but.. not me" oh girl s a m e

jack saying he had to grow up fast because it wasn't safe to be a child- oof. yeah it's literal but, I feel that.

I wonder if they realized they had Dean and Jack dissociating, like, accurately and relatably. this show accidentally dissociative-disorder-coded (for lack of better wording) characters a lot, and kinda well. maybe I'll make a separate post on that some other time.

hah Barney Fife, that's an Andy Griffith Show reference

what the hell, just stabbing that kid??

"Lucifer 2: Electric Boogaloo" while pinned by a blade

what the hell is with everyone making Dean feel undeserved guilt for Castiel dying. it's not his fault, you bitch, stop that >:[[[ you know he believes it too

nuuuuu jack :<<<

oh good

oh Dean's anxious hand fidgets :<

his voice gets so soft when he's sad and lost. oh he is struggling.

"we've lost everything. and now you're gonna bring him back" oh honey

"even crowley" aww

ohh I can't with teary eyed dean ;-;

ough the shakey breaths

this episode is kind of a fuck-you to anyone who thinks Dean doesn't love Castiel, honestly

man that's. that's the most distraught and lost and. shattered. Dean has ever looked

god Dean deserved so much better. knowing how the show ends makes this part worse honestly, because this isn't even the worst he goes through. it's not the last time he loses Cas and others he loves.

hhh

yeah this made me cry a tiny bit

[gcldfanged]

✏️

Angeal: I was going to suggest we roleplay an office romance, but I’d get way too into it. Jae-hyo: What- HOW??? Angeal: You’d be like “Come to bed, Mr. President~” and I’d be like, “We need to increase the amount of SOLDIER presence in Wutai by a factor of 18.”

-

Angeal: Who hurt you? Jae-hyo: *snorting* What, you want a list? Angeal: ...Yes, actually.

-

Angeal: Jae-hyo is playing a little hard to get. Angeal: Little does he know, I'm a master at playing hard to get rid of.

-

Angeal: We should get you to a doctor for a check up immediately. What if it happens again, and there isn’t anyone around to help you? What if it’s congenital? Oh my God- Was it me? Did I hurt you?! Jae-hyo: …You realize any other person that made their partner pass out in bed would simply feel really proud of themselves, right?

-

Jae-hyo: *delirious due to a killer migraine* Advil me up, Daddy- Angeal: I will have R&D surgically remove the language part of your brain if you say anything like that ever again.

-

Jae-hyo: I’d kill someone if you asked me to. Angeal: I’m pretty sure you’d kill someone even if I didn’t ask you to.

-

Jae-hyo: Why do you think I don’t like you? I do... I would kill for you. Jae-hyo: Ask me to kill for you- Angeal: Uhm, first of all- Please calm down.

-

Jae-hyo: *trying to flirt with Angeal* I think both our families suck.

-

Angeal: Jae, when is your birthday? Jae-hyo: Why? So you can look up my dossier? So you can figure out my weaknesses? So you can destroy me? Angeal: … So I know when to wish you a happy birthday?

-

Angeal: *pointing his camera at Jae* There he is, my cute boyfriend! Jae-hyo: *covered in blood and smoking a cigarette while glaring at a random passerby* WHAT'RE YOU FUCKIN' STARIN' AT, HUH?!

-

Jae-hyo: Don’t preach to me about romance, Angeal. I had a threeway in one of those revolving luxury nightclubs on Midgar's Topside.

-

Angeal: *raising his sword at Zack* Face me! Jae-hyo: *standing behind Angeal while holding a knife and silently mouthing out the words 'DO NOT.'*

-

Jae-hyo: Hey, about that love letter you sent me- Angeal: *blushing* So... what are your thoughts? Jae-hyo: Yeah, the fourth sentence... Angeal: Yeah, that’s where I got really emotional and I- Jae-hyo: It’s 'you’re' not 'your'.

-

Jae-hyo: You are the love of my life and I would do anything within reason to make you happy. Angeal: I would be happy if you ate regularly, stayed hydrated and got a reasonable amount of sleep. Jae-hyo: I said 'within reason', Angeal... Hey, how 'bout I murder that guy? Angeal: So murder is within reason but proper self care isn't? Jae-hyo: Well, duh- What the fuck kinda question is that?

[saltedsolenoid]

how i look after releasing gashudouin fic trilogy finale. anyways immediate post-mortem under cut. we're a stacked funeral home in here we gotta get this shit in and out as fast as we can

first off: here's the playlist for this fic in specific. takes inspiration from the old gashudouin playlist (which is also available at the gashudouin blog website) and the gashudouin-themed gashu playlist i made in one of my earlier recorded dissociative episodes

here's the google document for this fic, which i annotated with gdocs comments to explain more of the bullshit i was on

and here's my final comment on this shit that was supposed to be a comment on the google document before i realized it took up, like, five extra pages of space and was hell to read:

i'm very glad that this fic is longer than both previous fics in this series combined and also that it is written in a style that i can confidently say is my own. throughout all these comments i have admittedly been bashing on myself in a strangely self-congratulatory way (ie: this shit sucks thank god it's total ass) but i am genuinely proud of what i've made here. i can admit that in terms of narrative it ain't my best work and hopefully never will be but like. this shit is kind of important to me and for the purpose of the Bit: i did perfectly goddamn fine lmao.

recently i've been struggling with having much of a personal voice or a solid personality at all and to that end i'm glad that this comes through as adequately incoherent but still, at least to me, thematically and rhythmically powerful. like i said in the ao3 end notes, this is a fic not only about mischaracterization but also my own mental state. and goddamn if that promise doesn't deliver. this shit is scatterbrained and takes multiple different voices and narrators and plots and floats through subjects like it isn't sure what it wants its main subject to be. on gashudouin account like 4 months ago i posted that "the next gashudouin fic would be about trigonometry" or something similar. and you know what? i deleted that post like two months ago because i realized there wasn't a single lick of trigonometry info in this entire document. the guy who wrote that post about trigonometry has gone under the constantly shifting tectonic plate that's the rest of us, and he never got to write his sin/cos/tan inspired sloppy makeout. i would mourn if i didn't know about five others cycled through the same lithospheric bullshit in the time this was written.

but i feel i need to reiterate: i would not have it any other way. as both gashu and meister are my own self-inserts, my own dipshit dolls that i'm smacking together, they too are constantly killed and replaced with different variants of themselves in a way that i think is artsy and important if i squint. and since i've got migraines and shitty eyesight: you bet your ass i'm squinting about it. they discuss topics irrelevant to the versions of themselves that they grow into, and the fic never kills those darlings, and they remain unedited in the body of the text. vestigial, i fucking guess. the unused legs and misformed pelvis of the whalefall our mind shelters in wrote this fic, if you want to get esoteric in a way that nobody aside from me understands, and that i, myself, won't understand in a month's time. they need to mention homestuck and elementary algebra and overutilized physics concepts and misinterpreted science and they need to lose the thread of their conversation and the point of the matter at hand because that's, ultimately, the shit that i am perpetually on. they need to be me for at least a brief moment in each meandering conversation because in a year's time i will not be me and i need to know that i was something.

gashudouin is such a stupid thing that has ended up being endlessly important to me. un-fucking-fortunately. as i so often say: tragic! oh well whatever.

anyways. gashudouin epic. (wearing a shirt that says "I LOVE OLD MAN YAOI" on it) i fucking love old man yaoi. this shit rules, i love my own writing and being a pretentious bitch over my own writing. i love myself too and i'm coming to accept who i am and what i suffer from and unfortunately: this fic helped with that. i would apologize for writing too much about something that nobody cares about but i deserve so many awesome pleasures in life. stay chill every1

:3 my gashydouin trilogy is COMPLETE!! uwu

[historia-vitae-magistras]

Okay, so in order to accurately read my review: first imagine a good 15 minutes of incoherent screaming/babbling/gesticulating while I tried to calm my brain down enough to explain why it was reacting like that.

Then imagine me carefully selecting "the best lines" only to realize I'd "selected" a good 90% of the fic.

Now:

"He was quiet and still for a moment, and Matthew thought that particular enough to frown.

"'What's the matter?'

"'I forgot my question.' Jack gave a sheepish grin. 'Sorry.'"

I love them, your honor. Poor Matt's just trying to sleep off a migraine, but Jack Has A Question and will be satisfied... oh, nope, he forgot. And "Jack sitting still is weird enough that something's wrong" is just... it's this little touch of knowing his brother, and also the lead in to "he forgot his very important question," and I love it.

"'Where's Father?'

"'Drunk,' Zee chirped, and Matthew startled. She had appeared in the doorway without him even hearing when the swish of her skirts should have been as loud enough to alert him, but he really was out of it. Oh God, were both of them on the same mission? He sat up. Jack could be distracted but Zee? She was a bloodhound. And she never forgot anything."

Again, I love them. Zee's matter of fact statement (Arthur, quit getting drunk in front of your weans), and "oh shit, I can't get out of this if she's on the case." The little juxtaposition between his reaction to both of their appearances and how he thinks of them... I love it, I love it so much.

"'Oh, right! That's what I wanted to ask. Olly's head.' said Jack. 'The one that Father says he keeps up on the mantle in that fancy box,' He pointed at the carved mahogany box on the mantel, etched with what he'd bet was Uncle Rhys spell work, but they didn't talk about that."

Okay, so to insert my own question, because Jack and I are kindred spirits in that regard: if the skull was in a glass case before the house was Jack-proofed, does that mean the box was made recently? Did the previous display include any spell work, or was there a reason to add it for the box specifically? Either "it's been warded since the day it came off" or "it was added well over a century later" would be fascinating looks into Arthur's mindset around the thing. Also, the image of Arthur asking his big brother to help him with magic... I'm so obsessed with the moments when, even at the height of the Empire, Arthur leans on his brothers.

"She lifted her chin and stared right back. 'You've seen it. So if it isn't in the box, show us the box.'"

This is such a small thing - I loved Matt trying to lie to get out of it and immediately getting outsmarted by Zee. Do not lie to the small child, Matt, she can best you.

"Arthur had made him look at it. Back then, before the house had been Jack-proofed, it had been displayed behind glass. The horrible shrunken skull with tight, parchment-mummified skin and a grinning jaw that wiggled when the display cloche over its base moved at all. It was a French flag over his land back then. Arthur had only closed one hand over his neck and made him look. The implication had been clear. That's where you'll end up, too, my boy, if you're not careful."

Aaaaaaand I am immediately snapped out of the cute sibling interaction and into the fucked-up-ness of their "family" and its existence. I just... fuck. Arthur deciding to threaten the small child under his care, and Matt understanding the threat... And the way you worded it absolutely drives the terror and the... power? Control? home. I can see it happening and feel the emotional tension between Matt and Arthur in that moment. And you did it in three sentences.

"At home… the head is powerful." She said carefully, as if translating a concept she'd never spoken about into English was difficult. Perhaps it was. Matthew didn't know what to say to that.

Once again crying over Zee. She's part English, sure, and in many ways the most like Arthur - but there's this whole other side to her that she can't talk about or represent the way she wants. Something about this bit is really driving home what she, Jack, and Matt are and the inherent fucked-up-ness of their existence.

"'Then why's Father got it?', Zee asked. They drew nearer, and Matthew stood, pulling them with him, needing out of that room, away from that box and its half-forgotten contents. He walked them to the door, remembering a day when he had been the problem, the opponent, the obstacle in father's way.

"'Because he made father his enemy.'"

[Cue my brain bursting into flames trying to process the emotions]

It's a lot. Like, Zee and Jack are just after "ooh, the creepy skull!" (with some cultural hesitation on Zee's part), but Matt's thinking about "the skull the man who calls himself our father used to communicate that I need to watch my step or I WILL be removed from the equation." But at the same time - sure it hasn't been said to the other two because they've been under the English flag since birth (well... legally), but they live under that same threat. The dichotomy of them being kids after something creepy their dad has, but also colonial holdings asking about the proof that the empire is vindictive and will end an enemy no matter where he finds it... it's doing things to my brain.

This fic was both extremely entertaining and gave me a LOT to think about, thank you so much for sharing it!

My brain just screams joy at me for like two days straight every time you comment I can't even express how happy it makes me. Everything I'm trying to do comes through to someone and it... it works???? A miracle. And god, yeah, Arthur in all likelihood wouldn't have hurt Matt because generally children are the one thing that can stay his hand in most contexts but if he'd been an obstacle threatening Alfred in a way that Arthur could tangibly see, it would have been done. He's generally more interested in protecting his children even before he properly claims them but they are possessions before they're people in so, so very many ways. Collected like the stuffed birds and the contents of the green house. Zee is trying so hard to articulate these concepts that have no English translation, unite these aspects of her that are utterly at odds and Jack's still young enough his questions don't have bitter unsatisfying answers yet and Matt already knows what they'll grow up to understand someday. There's just so much bullshit that lives in my brain and I'm so happy it got out on paper!

Okay, so to insert my own question, because Jack and I are kindred spirits in that regard: if the skull was in a glass case before the house was Jack-proofed, does that mean the box was made recently? Did the previous display include any spell work, or was there a reason to add it for the box specifically?

So this is something I'm kind of adding into established works because I audited a course on the history of magic and folklore to make a reference collection for those students to use and I got drop kicked back into my teenage pagan phase so now the hard core realism I've always liked sticking too is more and more turning into a very annoying attempt at magical realism I am so sorry lmao.

So I actually had 3 versions of the Cromwell head. One where it was as somewhat recorded in history. Just dried out, spooky, and sitting on the mantel. The second was that Arthur actually fused Cromwell's soul in there and actually talked to the thing sometimes. But that felt weird so I went with the third. That the skull, as was often thought of skulls through early European history acts as a kind of conduit. Arthur needs it because of all his siblings I think might actually be the weakest in whatever kind of magical ability there may be, I haven't decided how far I want to go in that direction. But being the youngest, he learned the least from their mother and didn't much care to learn much later. So the spell-work he did on the glass and cloche started wearing off about a century or so after Cromwell lost his head. It was keeping in the bad vibes from Cromwell's skull and keeping out the curious (like Jack) so Alasdair made a box and Rhys enchanted the thing to contain Cromwell and keep the curious (Jack) out. When the weans got older and Arthur no longer has servants and what not it just sits on the mantel. Zee puts an elf hat and fairy lights on it at Christmas and bunny eared headband at Easter just for maximum disrespect.

Rhys really just put so much overtime in when the kids are young, carving and enchanting various hex traps and witch boxes to keep shit contained. Wales and Scotland were among the first victims of English imperialism but also certainly participated it in it. So while Arthur quite literally probably has skeletons in the closet, they all are a part of this fucked up imperial mess.

[cassie-20-ayshi]

Part 6

Ace woke up about a week after he was put in the basement. And when he did he started to thrash about. He couldn't do much but he decided to swing back and forth which did nothing. Then he tried cutting the rope by pulling down on the hook and slicing through. He managed to cut the rope and fell. He moved and grabbed his phone out of his pocket. He saw three messages from unknown. He read the message.

Unknown:

Ace, did you do the plan?

ACE! ANSWER ME GOD DAMMIT!

Ace are you alright!? I hacked the cams and darn he did a number on you.

Ace

Yeah,I'm fine..but yes I did the plan and this is what happened!

But taro,you can hack?

Taro

Yes,yes I can. Why?

Ace

Well,could you try and fuck up the systems here?

It could have us move to another base,and I could do move damage

Taro

Of course~! Hey..maybe I can send you guys to kortac,where I am.

OH! I really fuck up this dude,I don't know his name tho

Ace

Oh that's cool,but whatcha do?

Taro

The usual

Ace

Ok,but definitely do the plan! If I don't die,I'll help you more.

Taro

That would be nice~

-

-

Ace hid his phone as he heard the steps creak. He saw half of the base and a new person. Rudy,kio,and könig stayed upstairs with roach (I just realized I forgot him) "Who are you?" He asked. " laswell" ( I kinda forgot about her- but she's here!!) Price crossed his arms " even though she just got back from her leave she isn't very happy about what we told her." Ace just shrugged " so?" Ghost was glaring at him and so was soap and Alejandro. " Oh great,the spic is mad" Alejandro face changed. " HOW DARE YOU!" Gaz gave him a look. "Dad open the cell..this man is asking for a death wish.." Price gladly opened the door. Ace backed up but grabbed the hook " I'm not afraid to use this!" Farah laughed a bit. " that won't do shit to us." Ace still held it. Pretty much everyone lunged at him and started to beat the shit out of him.

Ace was tackled to the ground. Ale bent Ace's arm in the opposite direction and there was a loud Crack before he screamed. He got his face smashed into the wall by ghost. Laswell kicked him in the dick. Soap and gaz were both kicking him. Price took a swing and cracked him in the face. Farah and Alex both broke a couple of his fingers. Geo and Stace punched him hard and broke his nose. And they did more until he was barely able to stay awake. Ace was struggling to breathe. But he continued to scream anytime he was hit.

From upstairs you could hear the screams and some hits. König jumped whenever Ace screamed. Kio rubbed his back and Rudy held his hand. But that didn't help it. " ..make them stop..please.." Rudy and Kio looked at each other as König put his hands over his ears. " I don't like it!" He screamed. Kio and Rudy rushed to the basement and yelled for them. No one answered so they went down. And the scene wasn't pleasant. Kio turned and vomited which had everyone turned to them. Rudy all but passed out. Everyone had blood splatter on them. Ace was barely breathing, but he was. Ace had a tone of broken bones,bruises and black eyes.

Ale rushed out to grab Rudy. But Rudy pushed him away as he stood up himself. Ale's face fell,he was just trying to help him," stop..könig wants you guys to stop…" Rudy took Kio back upstairs. Not realizing he made Ale upset. They made it to the top before Rudy fully collapsed. Kio grabbed hold of him and pulled him off to the side. "Rudy? Hey, what's wrong?" Rudy mumbled a few words which he couldn't figure out. The others came up the stairs. Ale noticed them and rushed to Rudy's side. "What happened!" Rudy winced at the shout. Ale placed a hand on his head," oh I'm sorry love.." Rudy leaned into the touch and mumbled. Kio let out a sigh" migraine..that's what's wrong." Ale gave him a smile before picking Rudy up and carrying him bridle style to their room.

Kio looked over to the couch but only seen roach. Roach saw the panic in kios face and pointed down the hall. Kio smiled a bit before heading that way. The others all went to clean themselves up from the blood. Kio headed to königs room and knocked " kö? You okay..?" He asked softly as he waited for the door to open. The door did and there stood a very teary eyed könig. " Oh buddy.." Kio stepped into königs outstretched arms and held onto him." König pulled away a bit later. " better?" The older one nodded and went to sit down. Kio did the same. König began to fidget with the dolls of soap and ghost. König then remembered the other day,he just had to ask "kio,do you like geo and what's the thing with price?" Kio stared at him. Yeah the question took him by surprise. He did like geo,but price? What made him think something was wrong with him and price? " what? No,no I don't "

König just stared at him. He knew he was lying, " kio,whenever you like someone you ramble about them,and for at least three days you did that with geo" kios face grew red. König held the dolls in his lap. " I didn't think I was rambling!" König gave him a look and Kio caved. " fine..I do like geo! He's cute and funny.." he trailed off. He looked up and saw König still staring at him,waiting for more. " Oh and the thing with price is him just being a father figure.. Nothing more!" " plus captain price is old- and he is a nice person" König gave a shocked face " Omg- never call that man O L D! He always knows and it isn't pretty. Last time someone called him old was soap and apparently he had to run 50 laps around the entire base inside and out!" Kio made a face. " I won't say it again- but I just LIKE geo. Geo may have a crush on me!" He said as he crossed his arms.

König hummed. " ok,but I can see him as a father and possibly Rudy and Ale," Kio giggled. " I know! Rudy is definitely like a mom,and Ale is the father." König agreed and they talked a little longer before kio headed back to his room for the night waving to Price before disappearing in his room. Although when he was sleeping he tossed and turned from a nightmare. At some point in the night he screamed. Which he woke up to pounding on his door. He quickly jumped up and opened it. He saw price standing there. " Are you alright? I heard you scream " kio nodded as he wiped away the tears in his eyes. " I'm sorry if I woke you.." Price put his hand on kio's shoulders " it's alright kiddo,just wanted to make sure you were alright." Kio gave a weak smile. " how about you go back to bed ok?"

Kio nodded but was hesitant. " Something wrong ?" Price asked as he looked over him. Kio shook his head " oh just worried about the nightmare. but It'll go away" he stepped back into his room when he saw two rings on price's hand. He gave another smile before closing the door.

Price is married,how did he miss that? He felt excited and realized that he wanted to know more about it! But he decided to leave it for another day. He walked over to his bed and curled up and fell back asleep. The next morning he was woken up by a cold feeling on his legs. Confused, he lifted his blanket a bit and saw two small eyes staring up at him. He gave a small chuckle. "Hi sweetheart,how did you get out?" He said as he sat up and picked up his snake. The snake wrapped around his arm and slowly slithered up and around his neck. "Hm,I bet you're hungry." The sake perked up a bit at the mention of food.

Kio smiled " I guess that's a yes,I think there's still two mice in the freezer." He got up " well let me go it one for you angel." Kio put angel in her enclosure that was hidden beside his dresser. " I'll be right back" kio rushed out and to the kitchen. Luckily no one was in there yet. He opened the bottom freezer and moved a bag of peas and found the small bag that held two mice. Kio opened it and pulled one out. He still never got used to the feeling of holding a frozen dead mouse. He set it on the counter and closed the bag with the remaining mouse and covered it once more, hopefully no one would find it. He would not like to be questioned why he had a dead mouse.

Kio headed back to his room just as he saw Price open his door. Koi made it and quietly closed his door. Then he went over to the enclosure and moved the lid off. Kio adjusted the way he held the mouse,so now he had a tiny bit of the tail pinched between his fingers. He then held it down for angel and she looked at it before she struck it and curled around it. Kio moved his hand away and put the lid back on,leaving it cracked a tiny bit but not enough to where she could get out. Angel was a ball python,well a banana pastel python. Right now angel was 4 feet long. Kionthen got up and went to his bathroom to wash his hands. He scrubbed his hands twice and then dried them. He shut his light off and left his room.

-

It was nearing lunch time and Ale and Rudy decided to cook. Kio sat on the couch,cuddled up to könig. Rudy opened the top freezer and moved around some stuff but didn't find anything he wanted to use. He closed the top then opened the bottom one. He moved some frozen fruit around before moving some of the vegetables. He moved a bag of peas and saw some frozen chicken breast. He reached down and pulled it out,but in the process he pulled the bag with the mouse up as well. Rudy used his other hand to see what he grabbed. He grabbed the bag and moved it into his view and he let out a high pitched scream before dropping the bag and chicken breast. He flung himself behind Alejandro. Price looked at him from his seat behind the island "what happened?" Everyone waited to hear the answer. Rudy pointed to the floor " I picked up a bag and inside was a mouse!" Ale moved them back a little.

Price looked confused and got up. He walked around and looked at the floor. Both him and Ale saw the bag. Price reached down and picked it up for everyone to see. " Does someone want to explain this?" He said as he looked at everyone's faces. Kio shrunk down in the spot he was in. König had moved to see why Rudy screamed. Price scanned the room and noticed kio was gone. " Where's kio ?" König looked to the side and pointed at him. " right here" kio sadly pulled himself up. " ..yes..?" Kio hid his face a bit below the top of the cushions, which gave away that he was guilty. " why do you have this..?" Price questioned even though he was very concerned. Kio mumbled but was told to speak up " it's for food!" Everyone stared at him with concern. " OH! Not me! I don't eat it!" König turned to him," then what does?" Kio stared back at him.

Price put a hand over his mouth before he spoke. " kio..are you feeding an animal.. ?" Kio nodded sheepishly. Price sighed " kio! You can't feed a wild animal! " Kio looked confused." It's not a wild animal?" Now this had everyone confused. Price looked at him again " then what is it that you are feeding if it isn't wild.." ghost looked at him " it better not be the dogs!" Kio shook his head," It's not the dogs,just let me go get her!" Kio got up and dashed out. " her?" Rudy questioned and he turned to König " do you know what he's feeding?" König shrugged " for once,I have no clue" now they were all curious to find out. Kio was back in his room. He walked over to the enclosure that angel was in. Kio Removed the lid. Angel was done eating the mouse,hopefully she wouldn't get mad. " hi sweetheart,I know you just ate,but I need you for a little " he reached down and picked her up. Kio placed angel on his shoulder before he walked out.

He walked carefully. Angel went and wrapped around kios arm and just rested there. Kio walked back into the kitchen, having Everyone go silent. " That's a snake.." Price mumbled. " This is angel! She is the reptile that I am feeding. " König immediately went over and ran his hand over her. " I thought you left her at home." Kio shook his head as he let König take angel. Angel flicked her tongue and slithered down and around königs arm. Rudy felt a little better about knowing what the mouse was for. And he got closer to see her. " Can I put her down?" König asked both kio and price. Price nodded and so did kio. König sat and placed angel on the floor. Angel moved about taking in the new surroundings.

Geo got down on his knees when she moved past him. " She's so pretty, what type is she?" Kio blushed a bit," she is a banana pastel ball python!" Geo smiled " mm,she's got a very glossy look to her too!" Kio smiled " yes,I know how to take care of her!" König looked up at him " what about the others?" Kio looked at him " oh you know Raj right?" König nodded " my other four are with him!" "FOUR!?" Price and Ale both shouted. Kio giggled " yes I have a total of five snakes. I only brought her because the others are very big. I can show some pictures and videos" König nodded " yes they are,ones pretty much bigger than me!" Soap gave a surprised face " I have to know more about them!!" Kio smiled I can show you all right now. But let me get angel." He went and picked up a gel and got his phone hooked up to the TV.

Kio went to his photos and scrolled until he found one he liked. He clicked on one. Now on the TV screen everyone saw a big yellow and white snake. " This is summer and she is my Reticulated python, as of now is 13 feet long,and heavy." Price stared intently "she's huge!" Kio nodded " yeah one of my big girls!" König smiled " half the time you ask me to get her out-" kio pouted " she's heavy!" König chuckled, " I'm just teasing! Continue on please." Kio went through a few more photos and stopped at one where it had könig holding a white snake. " Pearl!" König shouted when he saw her, causing kio to laugh. "Pearl is my albino boa! She is 8 feet long!" Rudy gave a big smile " her name fits!" Kio smiled and he noticed how excited Geo looked. "Now for my big boy!"He flicked through some more photos before stopping. König got too excited with the one he chose. Everyone else was speechless. " YOU HAVE A ANACONDA!?" Geo shouted.

Kio nodded seeing as everyone was trying to comprehend the big snake. " Yes,this is Kash,he's my biggest boy!" In the photo on the screen it's Kash sleeping while carefully protecting könig. Kio swiped forward and clicked on the video. It played. The camera is facing kio and he starts talking " so, I just got home from a run and look at what I found in the living room." The camera flips to show könig and kash. " They're both asleep! But it's so cute!" Then the video ends. Ghost and soap both look at könig " how?!" They both asked. König shrugged. Laswell didn't have much to say. Alex,Farah and Gaz were still trying to figure out how he has an anaconda. They're mumbling to one another. Geo looked like he was going to explode,and stace was trying to calm him. Price was stressed,but also intrigued. Roach was intrigued by each snake. Rudy and Ale were giggling at everyone.

Kio set his phone aside and fixed the position of angel. " Ok now for the last one." Kio found his last snake and this time,the photo had him and König in it together. " Kio looked at everyone for their reactions and when he did,he lost it and started to kackle. In the photo it showed red holding a pretty looking Burmese python. "This one I call checkers! He was a birthday gift from König a while back but this was only from a few years ago!" Kio checked the date " oh this was only two years ago! " as everyone started to calm down, Price started talking " and you said that a friend was watching those four?" Kio nodded and price let out a long breath laugh " how's he doing with that?" Kio thought for a moment " it was going good,but he said that he might not be able to keep watching them.." Price cut him off " so you need a place for them to stay?" Kio nodded sheepishly.

Price thought for a moment " okay, only if, IF you can keep them under control! We might have to move bases for a few months" after Price said that everyone turned to him. Ghost spoke first "why?" Price motioned around him. " a lot of things are getting hacked,the cameras and other things around the base." Everyone went silent. " I know it's a lot,but we might have too,but we can all go now." kio unhooked his phone and left the room. And so did everyone else.

I like the thought of kio having snakes! I will definitely focus more on the ghost x soap x könig in the next part

[purityoflust]

The Smile [Jeff The Killer X Victim!Reader] [PART 2]

Jeff the killer X Victim!

WARNING: Yandere. That's it. Yandere.

I finally decided how I would write part 2 to The Smile, which is my first and most popular post on my account so far. Anyone new who has come to read this, check out my other posts as well if you'd like. I'll post more like this. I also have a Quotev account with more fanfictions.

9/12/20, 3/4 days after the top part: God, AFTER SO LONG, I FINALLY DID IT! Took me days! I'm so sorry if this is a bit lazy, it is a tiny bit rushed by the end but how would you guys feel about a detailed part 3? I'll probably go as far as a part 3 or part 4 for the final part.

The vibrations in your brain felt warm and numbing - almost like when you have a horrible migraine and you can finally feel it subsiding with your eyes closed and your fingers gently holding down onto your eyelids as if you're holding your eyes into place to prevent them from bursting out of your skull. Upon waking up you can feel cold air settling into your skin. You haven't been awake 3 minutes and you already know what you're resting on; an extremely uncomfortable metal table. You've only seen them in movies but this was real.

The sound of a singsong voice just slightly echoing through what seemed like a moderately empty room. You groaned softly as you turned your head to your right, very slowly opening your eyes. Your vision blurred in and out, which, you wanted to rub to clear it out but as you went to lift your wrists, you felt pressure around them.

Something was holding your arms down. This catches your attention, blinking multiple times while turning your head back up straight and attempting to sit up. You were hardly successful with that, struggling while grunting under your breath to pull your hands from under what seemed to be a thick rope. As you pulled harder, you sucked in your stomach out of habit before immediately coming to a halt and choking up in pain.

This whole time you were ignoring the voice that was singing eerily nearby, "You and me, always forever~"

The voice was of a male. Scratchy, shaky. Familiar.

Familiar.

You could feel a string of your heart pop out of place as your breath stopped. That's when you knew something was wrong, but it just doesn't add up. You gulp while your eyeballs vigorously glance around to see where the source was coming from, only to see a figure in a corner. It was doubled over and it was sitting down on a simple wooden chair. Doubling over a...table? An average male figure, nothing unique. Although, the clothing style was unusual. At least what was on the clothes. He wore a fluffy white hoodie and what seemed to be black pants and black-and-white converse. The problem wasn't the outfit, no. His hoodie was spotted and had patterns upon patterns of darkened and more fresh-looking blood splatter. He had long black hair down to his shoulders. And luckily, his back was facing you.

You were dumbfounded. How did you get here, why are you restrained, and why is there a blood covered man near you? Is that even blood? Maybe it's paint or a design? Some people do wear clothes that have different kinds of blood splatter designs on them. Hm. Or he's an actual murderer about to gut you like a fish.

You wanted to speak. You wanted to speak so badly but you just couldn't. As you parted your lips, your throat went dry while your gaze stayed locked onto the bloody male that sat before you. The singing made you shiver as you tried so hard to remember where you could have heard or seen him. Why can't you remember?

The male then turned around to look at you. His singing had come to a gentle halt. Your mouth closed as he did so, your throat going completely dry and your whole body feeling like an ice cube. You were greeted with cold blue eyes. They looked hungry and bloodthirsty, yet they held a warm affection as they looked into your traumatized eyes. It was almost comforting until you saw the rest of his face. His skin was snow white and his lips looked dry. That's when more attention is drawn to his lower jaw. He's smiling. Too big for a normal person.

That's when you realize. He has a large smile carved into his cheeks going from ear to ear while his own lips were curled within a smile as well. And that's when it hits you.

And it hits you hard.

The memories of hours prior start brutally crashing into you, flooding back into your numb brain. All of the realization replaced itself with agonizing anxiety, your heart starting to race at speeds that felt impossible. You could pass out, but something inside you kept you awake. Something about him and about this whole situation was making you dizzy. The male slowly stands and turns his body all the way to face you. He seemed deranged, yet, he had a very relaxed stance and body language.

Uncomfortable silence loomed in the air.

He kept staring at you before slowly taking steps forward. You watch him carefully as your head feels like it's spinning, which you could notice your vision blurring a little bit here and there. The silence is suddenly disturbed with the male speaking up again, choking up in giggles. "Oh my sweet Y/N, you're awake~" He cooed, now standing over you. He leaned himself down and reached his hand to your cheek, gently brushing your skin with his surprisingly soft thumb. He leaned his face closer to yours. The smell of booze, blood, & smoke overwhelmed your nostrils. Yet it didn't seem to bother you that much.

His touch almost kind of made you feel...at ease. Your heart slowed itself and your breathing went back to pace. You felt fine, somewhat, but something in your stomach was still sore. The more you stare at him, the more memories come flooding back. The more memories flooding back, the easier you fit the puzzles together.

"M-my...stomach..--" You stutter out painfully.

In response to this, the male turned his head over to your abdomen and gently rested his other hand onto your bandaged stomach, applying very gentle pressure on it as to not hurt you. It was still slightly painful, causing you to groan under your breath.

"Oh, this...I'm sorry, my sweet butterfly. I had to make sure you wouldn't get away, and you didn't! Don't worry, Jack patched you up, so you'll be just fine!"

You remember now. You remember it all. The chase, your friend, the salty kiss before what you thought was your demise.

You naturally wondered as well; who's Jack?

"Wh-.." You weakly force air out of your throat again to speak, "why am I..tied-?"

"Oh, so you wouldn't be able to get away. I knew you would run away, or struggles, so I had to make sure you wouldn't do that!"

He was right. You would run away and struggle to get out of whatever the hell kind of place you're in. Well, knowing what he looks like. He DID stab you, after all. Who knows what this sicko wants.

He lifts his hand from your stomach and turns back to you, gently placing both of his hands at each side of your face. "You're so beautiful, Y/N. So sweet and so innocent. I couldn't keep letting the others eat you up like candy. You're mine and only mine. I need to protect you."

"Wh-who- are you?" You weren't really all too scared for some strange reason now. You were pretty calm. Probably from all of the energy this is draining.

"His name is Jeff." A deep and gruff voice cuts in.

The both of you turn your heads to the door of the room where a tall figure in all black stood. He was about 6"4 wearing heavy boots, black jeans, and a black hoodie. His hair was a dark brown though while he wore a mask. The mask was a dark blue with black goo oozing from the eyesockets. He was pretty intimidating even just by standing idly like a character waiting to be loaded in.

"And I'm Jack." He continued, "I'm the one who took care of your wound."

Jack stepped closer, soon standing at the other side of the table. He stood at the left as Jeff stood at the right.

"He wouldn't stop insisting I help."

You just blink, unknowing of what to respond with. He pursed his lips under his dark mask, in his own thought for a moment while staring down at you. You seemed calm enough, and your still pretty fresh injury was gonna hold you back anyway.

"[P]-[Pronoun]'s gonna-!" He attempts to blurt out, only to be stopped by you.

"I won't."

You were untied at your wrists and ankles, allowing yourself to pull your legs up and rest your feet at the top of the table, propping your knees up. It made your stomach feel weird, but it felt kind of nose and felt like it was easing the pain. You wrapped your arms around your knees, looking around the room more. "What is this place?" You ask.

"It's a medical room."

"Huh.." You shrug it off. Your anxiety levels had died down and the more you actually think about it, this isn't the worst thing that's happened. Your life has been pretty fucked up and you have damaged relationships everywhere. Honestly, being around new people and being far away from others sounds not too bad right now. Not like anyone would care anyway.

The next few hours, you're introduced to everyone else at the Mansion. They've been so...unique and honestly, you're surprised some people and beings like them even exist. They were all equally surprised with how little fear you showed.

You actually got along with most of them.

The others have taken a liking to you and hope you hang around longer. Alone in the living room, you, Jeff, Jack, and others sit at the couches and chairs in the living room, chatting away and getting to know them as they get to know you.

You feel Jeff wrap his arms around you and place a gentle kiss on your forehead, making your heart skip a beat.

You found out Jeff has been stalking you for months at a time. Watching your every move, eliminating anyone in the way. Huh, no wonder so many people in your life kept disappearing. You...couldn't bring yourself to be upset or scared, let alone even sad. You felt kind of at ease.

And far from uncomfortable. Someone loved you. Maybe more than they should, but they love you.

You didn't even feel upset at the fact Jeff had murdered that friend earlier. I mean, you just met the guy, so he wasn't even a 'friend'? So you paid no mind to it.

If anything, you really liked the thrill of someone being obsessed with you. A serial killer being so infatuated with you. He could be so protective of you and get rid of anyone you asked him to! There's is an advantage here. You knew he could snap and probably kill you intentionally or unintentionally, but you didn't mind. You really had no one else, technically speaking. No one that really cared. Not as much as he did.

Maybe he isn't so bad.

[papercutsunset]

last year, when things started to get worse than they had been and i just couldn't take feeling like i do anymore, i let myself make a character who was more than just anxious. her name was beth lemons; we remember her (i think?); she was a doomed i made for a masks game that was intentionally supposed to be short and intentionally kind of retrospective. like, her closest friend was an innocent, which means there's a "we're going to get older" aspect there-- except, when you're doomed, and you're pouring what i laid out into her, there's a very necessary "i don't know how old im actually going to get" built into her. and that's not something she's going to talk about, because it worries her sister (her twin, her other half); and it worries her grandfather, who already lost her father and his own parents and his own health to the same things afflicting her; and it worries chrissy, who always worries about everything; and the monsters under her skin drove opal away from her to the point of wanting her dead, made hazel afraid of her, drove so many people away; so why make people worry about your health on top of the thing you're cursed to be?

but, i don't know, i've been thinking about it again. just... trying to navigate her young adulthood and vigilante work while her body keeps fucking itself up; pushing herself further and further when she shouldn't, but she doesn't really have a choice; doing things at her own expense. and the small things, too, like the steady ramping-up of nausea when you're literally just standing there, or catching a whiff of someone's lunch and realizing oh, god, i have a migraine coming on, or the loud pop of a hip garnering disgust from someone despite beth trying to move past it (because it didn't even hurt! it was just loud), or the way you collapse when you stand up sometimes because that's the way you are and you don't know how else to be. balancing that on top of everything else is... compelling, isn't it? it's compelling to me. in the same way that jeanette forcing herself to calm down before she loses control of her budding powers is compelling, an "ancestral curse" of just shitty health (even if you have actual superpowers) is... i don't know. it's fun to me.

fuck it. i feel sick again. i'll write about beth.

[jazz-miester]

All I Could Say

Pairing: N/A

Reader type: Gender neutral human

Song: Do you realize- Ulsine Vulpine

Warnings: Emetophobia

An: Short. Not finished. Just clearing out drafts.

Word Count:1752

You stood before me. Like a god upon an alter.

"Those eyes of yours could swallow stars, galaxies and universes. What hope did I ever have." - d.j

I got no sleep that night. The moment after Optimus left and I got Orion back inside I locked every window and door. Shut every blind and turned off the majority of the house lights. Every time a car rolled down the lonely road in front of my house, or every plane that jettisoned overhead, I had a burst of anxiety. It got to the point I thought I was going to throw up.

What if it was them?

Did they find me?

What the fuck are they?

He had told me sorry. Optimus. What exactly could he mean by that? From the way his body seemed to sink into the ground upon seeing me something told me that, in truth, he truly was saddened by the fact I saw anything. That I had watched him bring grape juice to his knees. That I had watched him take a life. My stomach turned at the thought of it. Not much made me feel this way. But God. They clearly had feelings of some sort. A concious. Living things felt, living things died. No ones wants to. At least, most people.

I steadied my punching back, resting my aching hands as I ran through my thoughts.

I could have, should have, died yesterday. If it hadn't been for him. God. My whole body jolted, like someone had flicked a switch. My lips and fingers tingled. Pins and needles as if I hade let them become numb and suddenly let blood rush back in. My head swam and my vision blurred. A migraine came in full force as even more stress overcame me. I curled and uncurled my hands. The wraps pulling and tugging along my skin. Sweat trickled down my spine. Along my temples. The whole house seemed to still.

I would have died.

Easy as that.

No one would have known I was gone until John came to check up on me for not showing up to work in a couple of days.

Orion would be alone.

I sit down firmly on the floor. Putting my head between my knees. My hands shook in front of me. I shouldn't have tried to stay up all night. My stomach turns. My head throbs. I'm going to be sick.

I barely make it to the bathroom in time. My knees pressed into the cold linoleum floor. My head in the procline throne. My head hurst worse as I throw up. I end up dry heaving after a while. Shoulders tensing as my body tries to bring up what isn't there. As if I purged everything then all of my worries would be gone.

My back smacks against the wall as I sit firmly on my rear. Tears pool and stream down my face as I sniffle. Wiping my mouth with the back of my hand I wince, the wraps scrape against my lips. They're good for boxing. Not so good for cleaning. I try to breathe. Pulling in shaking breath after shaking breath.

Shower.  I decide. Shower. Get dressed. Wait for whoever the fuck Fowler is.

A burning shower later and digging through any clean clothes I had I make my way back to the kitchen. The coffee maker is just finishing when someone knocks on my door. I glance at my gun cabinet.

The pistol is heavy in my hand as I answer the door. Barely opening it as I take a look at whoever it was. A man dressed in what I can only call "Bussiness casual" Seeing as he had blue jeans and a button up shirt, looked up at me blankly. I swallow thickly.

"Who are you?" My voice is more hoarse than it should be. The man reaches into is jacket pocket and pulls out a wallet. Flashing a badge at me.

"Special Agent William Fowler." His face hardens. His dark eyes glance me up and down. My hands tighten on the pistol. His face softens slightly when he looks back up. "Optimus Prime sent me. You know. Giant alien robot?" Oh. This is Fowler. I step back and open the door more, motioning for him to come in. I set the gun back on top of the cabinet and look back at him just as he shuts the door.

"I just made coffee. Would you like some?" I don't have many guests. Ever. He nodded his head.

"Coffee would be nice." I learned that he liked his coffee black. Also that I was taller than him by a whole head and a half. It was an awkward silence as we sit across the table from one another. My hands loosening and tightening thier grip around my coffee mug. Sensing my discomfort, and being aware of the strange man in the house, Orion came to sit at my feet. Not once looking away from Fowler.

"What the dogs name." Broken silence. I take a sip of coffee. Not for the first time wishing for a cigarette as anxiety rolls over me again.

"Orion. He's an english mastiff." I look up at him. He's watching Orion carefully. "You can pet him, ya know? He may be big and scary looking but he loves people. And won't bite unless you decide to attack me all of a sudden." Fowler just shakes his head.

"Maybe another time. But, for now. We need to discuss what's going to happen to you." Whoppdee fucking do.

"What's gonna happen? Men in black gonna come and wipe my mind?" I get laugh from that. Although he does shake his head.

"No. I'm going to need you to come back to Prime Base with me." I snort and lean back in my chair. Reaching for the pack of cigarettes sitting on the kitchen counter. I offer one to Fowler, who shakes his head. "No thanks. Trying to quit."

"So. I'm just supposed to go back with you to some random ass place?" I light the cigarette and breathe deeply. Smoke creating a haze in the early morning light filtering through the kitchen window. "And quite possibly get probed in the butt by aliens? No thanks." I watch as his eyes grow wide. Looking all the part of a befuddled owl.

"I." He sputtered. "No probings going to happen. I. Kid, you are strange." I shrug.

"So I've been told." He finishes his coffee and I refill it just as quickly. Stream curling and rolling over the pot as I pour it.

"No. You need to come back to base with me because you are one of the few, one of the only, civilians to have seen them." He lean's forward in his chair. "Kid. You don't have much choice on the matter. Not only is the government now watching your every move, you have been requested by Prime himself. By this point i'm not one to deny the man." I fiddle with my tongue piercing as I think. Smoke curls past my lips as I breathe out.

"And if I say no, fuck off?" Fowler regards me with a cold look.

"You don't get to say no. Because you are in danger." Like I care. I glance down at Orion who whines. I shove the half smoked cigarette into the ash tray.

But I do care about Orion.

"Fine. Let me go find some clean pants."

.

.

.

Orion was having the time of his life in the back of Fowlers car. His head out the back window and tongue lolling out of his mouth. I follow close behind on my bike. We've been driving for hours now. Rolling across a straight stretch of road. We left the small town of Jasper long ago. With no buildings to offer shade the sun warms my back. Almost to hot it the leather against my back. Folwer pulls right and so do I.

Imagine my surprise when he continues forward instead or left or right where the road branches off. Straight towards a larg towering platue of rock.

In my not to smart decision I rev the engine of my bike and get right on top of his rear end.

I swear to everything if he crashes and hurts Orion... My heart pounds in my chest with rising anger and worry. Only to come crashing down when part of the rock face lifts forward and offers  us a tunnel to drive into.

I ease off. Falling a few feet behind him. The engine from both bike and car echoes agaisnt the walls. Quickly the air around us cools. Heat quickly dispelling off of me.

It doesn't take long for us to come into a large open room.

And more of the Aliens. Each one more different and unique than the last. Colors of reds, yellows, greens, and purples. Strange screens tower above them all. A large face like symbol in the dark floor. I might as well have walked into a sci-fi film.

I roll into a stop close to Folwers car. Killing the engine to my bike I pull my helment off and am quickly met with loud music. Heavy drums and guitars rythmic against the noise of hissing pistions and shifting metal. The music stops. A childs voice calls out.

"Is that them?! Dude! You didn't tell me they would look so cool!" I swing a leg over the bike and stand up. A young girl, no older than maybe fifteen runs in front of me. Colored pigtails bouncing as she rattles off questions a mile a minute.

"What's your name? How old are you? Dude your so tall! Are you lame? Hopefully your not like Jacks mom." I give a small laugh and rock on my feet as Orion jumps out from Fowlers car when he opens the door. Orion coming straight to me and leaning as much as he could on my side.

"My name is Y/n L/n. Although i'd prefer if you'd just call me y/n. And im twenty two years old and ya. I guess im kinda tall." I scratch behind Orions ear watching as two more kids come up behind the girl. "Although I would like to learn your names." The girl smiled. Waving wildly as she introduced everyone.

"I'm Miko! And the big green guy is my guardian Bulkhead. Glasses over there is Raf and his guardian is Bumblebee. The yellow one." With that Bumblebee whirled and beeped. I raise a brow.

[tinyboxxtink]

"Black Magic" *Part 6*

Part 5

Part 7

Okay so this one's a bit shorter, but like I said I want to try and keep it a "day" a chapter. Also, I don't think you want this day to be ANY longer.

....I'm so sorry.

Also also---- I'm going out now. I'M SO SORRY.

I'll post another chapter tonight....be strong my babies!

Side note how perfect is the gif with the angry barba and the smirking Olivia....I mean.... what?

Tag List:

@bookishfanfic

@stars-in-the-skies-world

@omgsuperstarg

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@gibbs274

@milkshqke

@wanniiieeee

@word-scribbless

@objection-argumentative

@aprildecker-blog

@lolliepopsicle

@madamsnape921

@stars-trash-18

-------

You arrived at the door of Rafael's office early once again, knocking this time. You looked like a million bucks. You had taken at least an hour to get ready, your outfit, your hair, your makeup. You were ready to make a move. You knocked again. There was no answer. He should be there, maybe he didn’t hear you. You knocked a little louder. Where could he be? You decided to take a peek and peer open his door to see the most horrifying sight:

Rafael and Olivia, making out on his desk. They both snapped back when they heard the door open.

“Y/N!!” He yelled angrily. “Don't you knock?”

“Oh.. oh my God I'm so sorry sir I'm really sorry. I just brought your morning coffee sir,” You were upset, embarrassed , confused , distraught unable to speak, unable to think.

“Well you should learn not to peep on other people Y/N,” Olivia gave you an evil smirk. “I should get going anyway baby,” she rubbed the lipstick off Rafael's lips. “I have a long day.”

“Oh but I'll miss you carino,” Rafael whined while rubbing his nose against hers in a disgusting fashion.

“I know baby, but maybe we'll have lunch?” She messed with his collar.

“You can count on it,” Rafael growled seductively, smacking her butt as she walked towards the door. “Two can play at your game,” she whispered at you as she walked out

Oh my god. Oh my God oh my god!! How did she know? How was it possible? So many things went through your head at that moment.

“I um, I left something at my desk,” You lied quickly as you headed out the door.

“Olivia!” You called after her angrily suddenly overwhelmed with courage. She stopped and turned and stared at you

“Really? Got some balls on you now do you?”

“What did you do?” You demanded.

“I didn't do anything to him.” She acted innocent. “He just realized that his feelings for me were there all along,” she batted her eyes mockingly. “Isn't that what you did?”

“It's not real!” You barked. “You know it's not real. It'll wear off by tomorrow,”

“Oh I really don't think it will” She held up a water bottle in her purse and it was filled with a….purple liquid? Yep it was purple. Why was it purple? Did she make it stronger? Oh God how strong did she make it?

“Olivia you can't do this to him. I stopped and realized if it wasn't real, I didn't want it.”

“Oh that's bullshit.” She rolled her eyes. “You just brought him his morning coffee. You and I both know that it has that stuff in it. You just needed to refill him but I got there first.”

“No that's not true! You yelled, tears stinging your eyes now. “And he loves me. I know he does.”

“Oh my God you are delusional,” she laughed.” Look I'm happy you had a fun day yesterday but you’re out of your league here, sweetie. He's mine and he always will be? Got it?” She smirked again, then turned and stomped away in her heels leaving you there speechless.

----

You were furious, you were confused, you were upset and then you realized that you had to still continue this day as if nothing was different. Nothing was wrong. You wondered how strong Olivia's stuff was. You wondered what the rules were. Did it block out his feelings for you completely and only focus on her? Did it wipe any memory of you and him at all? Could you break it? You had so many questions you needed to call Chloe but you know you couldn't until your break so you sucked it up and walked back into Rafael's office.

“I'm really sorry about that so earlier,” You did your best to keep from crying. He looked at you with an almost look of disdain.

“Yeah well you really need to be more professional, Y/N.” He scoffed.

"Now you really need to get me copies of these prepositions by noon so that I can go to lunch with my beloved and then go to court.”

“Your beloved?” You spat unintentionally, wanting to gag.

“Excuse you?” He gave you an angry look.

"Look I know that you have some kind of crazy crush on me, but you need to learn that what me and my girlfriend have is something you can't get between so you really need to either control yourself or I will relieve you of your services.” He glared at you.

You couldn't breathe, you felt your heart beating in your chest and your ears. Your palms were sweating, you were having a panic attack. What the hell did she put in her concoction? How did she make him turn so harshly against you?

“I... Yes sir, sorry sir, right away sir,” You whispered grabbing the papers from him running out of the office.

Finally after you got Rafael his copies and he stormed out of his office to go meet his “beloved”, you took the break to call Chloe in tears.

-----

“Oh My God, what happened honey?” She asked, immediately hearing your sobs over the phone.

“She did it,” You sobbed.

“Who did what now?”

“She found the spell! Or some spell. I don't know what she did. I don't know how she could have-- I don't know what she did!!!” You kept sobbing uncontrollably not being able to form coherent thoughts.

“Okay, I'm going to need you to slow down,” Chloe said in a calming manner. “Breathe honey. Use your words. Now explain to me exactly what happened,”

You took several deep breaths trying to compose yourself so that you could explain what was happening to her.

“I went into Rafael's office this morning, and he was making out with that vile woman,” You sniffled.

“What vile woman?”

“Olivia, his ‘beloved’,” you rolled your eyes through your tears.

“His beloved?”

“It's some woman that he works with, and apparently has been in love with him forever. She somehow, I don't know how, figured out what we did to him and she somehow found her own spell. Which I'm pretty sure is not the same one, because it was a purple liquid. AND she not only created feelings for her, she made him hate me!!” You continued to sob.

“...Oh,” Was all Chloe could say.

“OH…?!” You scoffed. “I thought you said that magic laws frowned upon spells like that, controlling people's free will!”

“It does! Good magic anyway,” She sighed.

“What the hell does that mean?” You yelled angrily.

“Well I mean you know there's good witches and bad witches,”

“Oh my God, what in the Wizard Of Oz fuckery--”

“I don't know what to tell you honey. That's how it is. There's good magic and there's black magic. Black magic is all selfish and self-indulgent and instant gratification. She must have gone to somebody who deals in that,”

“Who could it be?”

“I don't know! It's not like they're listed in the yellow pages! WAIT-- Oh my God I think I might have an idea,” Chloe suddenly paused. “...But you're not going to believe me,”

“Oh my God what does that mean?” you asked wearily.

“Well.. you've seen all the movies right? You know like Cinderella, Sleeping Beauty and Snow White,”

“Oh God. Are you seriously going to tell me that true love's kiss can break the spell?”

“Well.. you really don't have any other options right now, do you?”

“CHLOE those are Disney movies for fuck’s sake!!”

“Hey, remember Once Upon A Time? THAT was the ‘real world’, and true love’s kiss brought magic to our world!” Chloe pointed out.

“THAT’S A TV SHOW!!!!!”

“I don't know what else you want me to say here babe. But you should do it. Unless you want to lose him forever to this “Olivia” person. You said that she had a lot of it, right? She could keep this up for as long as she wants. AND the more she gives him the stronger it's going to be and the harder it is going to be to break. I mean he might end up really hating you and firing you, and then your whole life will be ruined. You not only need to break this spell for you to be happy, but before it impacts your entire life,” Chloe warned.

“Oh my God, oh my god…” You whimpered. “I should have never done this.”

“Hey chin up this will work out I'm sure of it!” She said in a chipper tone.

“Okay Jiminy,” You rolled your eyes as you hung up and went back to your office. You did your best to continue with the rest of the day, trying to stay out of Rafael’s way. Which wasn't hard, considering that he was in court most of the day. Around four he texted you and told you that he was no longer in need of your services for the day so you could go home early. Oh also he just HAD to add that he was going to go out with Liv. You wanted to vomit. You headed home and went to brainstorm with Chloe.

-----

“Okay so I've been researching black magic. Chloe had papers sprawled out all over her bed when you came home. “She must have used a combination of love and hate spells.”

“Wait, so you mean actual love spells? Like actually creating fictitious love? Not just magnifying what he felt for her?”

“Correct” she nodded. “I don't think he ever had real feelings for her.”

“Well he said that she and him had a thing, and that he thought about her like that when they first met. So maybe it was going off of that,” You shrugged sadly.

“Another thing we need to figure out is how to get the rest of the potion from her somehow,”

“And just HOW do you expect me to do that?!”

“I don’t...I don’t know,” She shrugged, sifting through her research.

“Chloe, give me something you DO know,” You rubbed your temples; this was giving you a migraine.

“Okay… well, maybe if I talk to my other friends they can figure out a way to counteract the effects even just a little, if you're not willing to or unable to get true love's kiss,”

“Oh God--”

“Hey, I'm just saying”

“Whatever.” You sighed. “My head hurts, my heart hurts, everywhere hurts Chloe,” You whined. “I just want this to be over,”

“Okay honey just-- just go get some sleep, I’ll figure out a game plan for you to use tomorrow,”

“Okay...thank you,” You gave her a small hug and went to your room.

You went to bed with a deep feeling of dread.

[dreamiesdotcom]

rule #6 | l.dh

Summary: With Donghyuck, growing to love feels like a black hole, but not the depressing kind. Rather, it's something hard to get away from — like a force, a very strong force that allows no escape, and it's incredibly luminous as if going supernova.

Word Count: 3.5k

a/n: hi, this is moon from somewhere august, scheduling this post before i chicken out again :D by the time it's posted, it's already Christmas so,,, merry christmas y'all who celebrate!!!! Lots of love!!!

Just like most things involving Donghyuck, falling in love with him isn't such a good idea.

That was way too sped up, though. The best way to start this story, of course, is from the very beginning— the day human migraine number one (a.k.a Jaemin) decided to bring in evil genius Huang Renjun to the circle. That would've been fine. It just so happened that beside him sat the devil incarnate, Lee Donghyuck, and that, well, is totally all four directions far away from what's acceptable.

Rule number one to surviving this life thing: Never trust cute boys with sunshine smiles and mischief in their eyes, a.k.a Donghyuck, or Haechan, whatever name he decided to go by. That's why when he reaches his hands out over the table to your direction, you quickly dismiss his attempt — "Hi! I haven't met you yet, did you skip first period? You're Y/N, ri—"

"Please never speak to me." was your reply then, and human migraine number two (a.k.a Chenle) laughs. Jaemin nags for the rest of the break, talking about manners and getting along. The fools nod alongside him. You grumble, moody for no reason and feeling particularly mean, but you warmly smile at Mark when he arrives at your table. Somewhere along the lines, you met stares with the new boy, and you give him an indifferent look.

Donghyuck took the nonchalance as a challenge.

###

The following weeks have been infuriating.

Rule #2: At all times, seek Lee Jeno's company. Unreliable as he seems when it comes to patience, the boy is quite reasonable sometimes.

Your windows align with the sweet-faced boy, your roofs almost touching — if you tried hard enough, you two could sit together, side by side, just like this. Cold wind blows, but it doesn't make you shiver. Jeno's warm, and maybe that's why you love cuddling with him so much. Maybe.

Just maybe, that could be the reason.

"I can't hear what you're saying," he slowly says, laughter seeping through his lips. You whine at that, moving away so he could see you and you could speak clearly. His hand remains holding your chin up, endearing in a soft way, but it doesn't wash away your frown. "What were you saying?"

You groan, "I said, he's so annoying! The audacity, Lee Jeno, he had the audacity to call me ba—"

Jeno watches you with tender eyes. Your heart softens, and you forget whatever next words you had to say. Maybe things will be okay? He's here, after all. Just right next door.

At least, something is going right.

###

This new boy, it seems, is appealing to many. During his first week, people have constantly trying to 'show him around', and that excuse doesn't die down until one month. From then on, people just keep following him around with "Good morning, Haechan!", "Goodbye, Haechan!" and "How was the weekends for you, Haechan-ssi?"

To be honest, it's something you had to grow used to even way before the showed up. Having Na Jaemin and Mark Lee from the Basketball team in your circle just really has a way of putting the spotlight on your lunch table. Not to mention, Renjun, Jeno, and Jisung, who despite being quiet, just has a certain charm to them — Jaemin's words, not yours. And oh, don't even get started on Chenle. That boy is a social butterfly.

The difference is that he keeps entertaining them, unlike the others who awkwardly laughs or just greets back — safe to say that sometimes, the 'goodness' of his heart gets in the way of your education and daily life. Times just like this.

Jisung's name shines brightly at the top of the list. You cling to the boy excitedly, pinching his cheeks and slightly bouncing on your heels, "You made it on the dance team, Sungie! Oh my God, oh my Go—"

"Y/N..." he drawls out, both hands resting on your shoulder as if to calm you down, but the excitement in his eyes betrays his intentions. On the other side, Renjun waves at you with the others. It makes you chuckle, and you motion for them come — that is, of course, until someone pushes you, almost sending you to the ground if not for Jisung catching you midfall.

The girl furrows her brows, "Move, you're blocking the way."

Your palms itch at that moment, and you couldn't believe just what you heard — the nerve!

"Where's your manners?" rings Donghyuck's voice from where he's slowly making way towards you with the others, a grimace on each of their faces. Attitude seeps from his gaze, the kind that would've made someone quiver. "Don't go around pushing people."

"Wh—"

"Stop." you clench your hands to fists, thanking Jisung before straightening up. Through gritted teeth, you calmly look at the girl with a scowl on her face. "Look, I'm sorry, but can you politely ask me to move next time? That's be appreciated, thank you."

After bidding the others a small smile, you turn around to make your way to the library. What? For peace? For space? Just to be as far away from the boy following you right now as possible? You don't even know at this point. You feel like your celebration is ruined and all you want is distance from the person you dislike the most — to be honest, you don't know anything about him aside from the fact that he's Lee Donghyuck and that he's annoying, and that you automatically hate him. You don't plan on knowing more. That's why before entering the library, you turn around to face him with a solemn look.

"Thank you." he halts in shock. His smile widens, but you look at him with the same seriousness in your face. "But don't do it again. I don't need saving, Lee Donghyuck."

Later that night, you grit your teeth as you write down another rule: Say your gratitude but don't get used to the way he saves you. You're not a damsel. Just hand the goddamn sword or you'll be fine with your fists — maybe your eyes for daggers, too.

####

Rule #3: Never go to him for comfort.

22nd of April, 10:35 p.m. You close your eyes and wait. The clock hits eleven and you open the door for the others, greeting everyone with a cheerful smile. "Where's Jaemin?"

Mark shrugs, "Said he has an essay. He'll be late for a bit, but he'll make it before 12."

23rd of April, 12:00 a.m, your heartbeat races. Everything's all set, everyone's in the living room. You take out your phone with a giggle, typing out 'Happy Birthday, dummy!!!' with the biggest grin on your face. Jisung judges you slightly, but he quickly forgets it when a taunting yell from Renjun comes. You sit in the kitchen, staring at the delicately decorated cake, and you wait.

One hour turns to two, then three. Your smile fades slightly, and you check your phone for replies. When nothing comes, you click over his contact shakily.

To: Star <3

Happy Birthday, dummy!!!

Hey, Jen? You're one door away from me and yet you're an hour late.

Birthday boy, you're not ditching us on your own celebration, aren't ya?

When are you coming over ;-;

From: Star <3

I'm sorry!!!

Sorry but I'll be late!

Jaeminnie really needs my help with something.

We'll be there! I'm sorry, Y/N

Your smile disappears. Sullenly making your way to the living room, you count your steps to keep your ground. You look at the others in front of you with a smile, "Go start the movie, I'll wait for Jeno and Jaemin outside. Deal?"

"Sure." Chenle chirps, his grin never fading. Must be because of cheating his way through besting Jisung, Donghyuck, Mark, and Renjun at Monopoly for the past three hours, probably ruining their friendship. Oblivious to the world, Renjun grumbles something about Jeno never being punctual, that he'd pray that trait onto him as a birthday gift. You glance at them before heading back outside, sitting down outside your door, head in between your knees.

A tear. Maybe two. Is this how heartbreak feels like? The kind of crying where you can't even make a sound because people could hear, but then even your teardrops seem to be so loud.

The door opens and you put your head up, hurriedly wiping them away. You put on your best smile until Donghyuck occupies the space beside you. He hands you a handkerchief.

"Don't," he whispers when you obviously hold down a sob, and he leans you on his chest. You cry freely there — you don't know why you let him of all people, but all you know was that you couldn't think straight; desperation blooms on your chest like fresh flowers die over time, and he doesn't judge. He just holds you — no cheesy pet name, no flirty looks, no catch. Just someone to be with.

At 4 a.m with Lee Donghyuck, the starless sky and the moon all alone looks a little less lonely. In front of you, the sun begins to rise.

##

Rule #4: Aaaaand if you don't follow the preceding rule, then, you're fucked. This is your mess. Good luck, you're alone on this one.

After Jeno's birthday (and after he made up to you, he spent a month doing that.) something just begins to change. A pleasant shift, according to Mark.

From that day, something in you says that maybe, just maybe, he's not so bad and you were just unfair to him. This realization must be something brought by time; slowly, you got used to Renjun and Hyuck being a part of your circle. These tutoring sessions must be a factor as well, judging how to two get to spend time alone in the same table as you can't possibly study with the others around you.

Donghyuck would do anything to evade mathematics, though. At least that's what it looks like right now, as he doodles around the margins instead of solving the problems, and then opens a topic, "Nana and Jisung looks cute together. Should've known they wouldn't be serious with each other, him and Jeno."

You roll your eyes, but not the way you did back then. It's way softer, much more affectionate. "It's been a year, let them be."

"So what? It's only been a year." he seems really determined to waste time. He even makes a show of briefly making eye contact before pouting at the paper, "You and Jeno still pretend to be just friends, but the whole school's just waiting for you two to kiss."

You chuckle, "We don't."

"You do."

"Used to." you correct. You look over to the other table, Jaemin and Jeno throwing a banter while Jisung begs them to stop before Renjun smacks them all with a book. You gaze down the notes you're studying before shrugging, "Things change."

"Example?" he tentatively asks, absentmindedly tracing the letters and numbers scattered around his notebook. You rest your chin on your palm.

"Well, now, I might like you." because honestly, you do. He's a great company, although sometimes overwhelming and annoying. Especially that most of the time when he's with Jaemin, they brew the worst ideas together and it's pretty much storm from there.

It would be a lie to say that it's not one of the things that makes you feel warm, slowly growing fond. Your voice softens as he tilts up to meet your gaze, and you flash him a saccharine smile. "Soon, it might not be because you're my friend."

Things like this make you feel like you've missed everything with Jeno, all the things you both could've had; it's like you should've been like this. It's like you should've been holding hands, or walking down the streets, or sitting on a rooftop and asking for a kiss. The kind that would send a rush of energy on your veins, shaking you back to life, losing you to the dream that is the way his lips move against you. But best friends don't do that, so you don't.

Hyuck is not Jeno, though. He's not your best friend.

With Donghyuck, growing to love feels like a black hole, but not the depressing kind. Rather, it's something hard to get away from — like a force, a very strong force that allows no escape, and it's incredibly luminous as if going supernova.

###

Rule #5: Well, seems like you can't back out now. Love him. Love him so much that the sunshine in his eyes never fades.

"Why are we celebrating Mark's last day in town?" Donghyuck sits down in the living room, looking around at the place — balloons, snacks, a cake, everyone in your friend group. He sets down his gift, "Are we that glad that he's leaving?"

Mark huffs, "You'd fucking cry once you miss me and I'm cities away, Lee Donghyuck."

"I won't miss you because I'm coming over to your dorm every day and I'm dragging everyone with me." Donghyuck smiles and even when Mark shoves him a little at that, everyone knows that he's happy the younger said that. He flashes his sly smile, "You, however... ah, what do we do? Mark might miss me so much he fails three subjects."

Everyone cackles at that, and Mark only raises his arms at surrender, saying something about not joking like that because he's honestly 'terrified to start hell', wanting to just stay here and finish school with all of you, ranting about how troublesome it is to transfer. You lean back on your loveseat, lightly kicking Hyuck's feet. "What?"

"You talk like this but you'd sulk tomorrow, wouldn't you?" You taunt, snickering. "This is false advertising."

Donghyuck gapes as the others fall over laughing. "Oi, are you trying to help me fill out all the ten reasons I hate you?"

"You have only ten for me?" you add, and for some reason, that makes the others laugh harder. "I have a hundred for you, Hyuckie."

"I could write you thousands—"

Jeno scrunches his face, hands moving to cover Donghyuck's mouth. "Just please go kiss each other."

Donghyuck tears away from his hold, rolls his eyes, and waves goodbye. He tugs you away from Jaemin and then leads you upstairs, but not before one last banter with Jeno, who, in his all confused expression, tilts his head in question, "Ya, where are you going?"

"I'm not kissing Y/N in front of you fools."

And true to his word, that's what he does.

Donghyuck smiles like the world is kind, like unending unconditional love, without boundaries nor fears. He kisses like that, too, passionate and deep. He does it like it's the end of the world, as if it's the only thing he wants to do. He does it like he's thanking every single thing that led him up to this moment. He kissed you under those stars in his balcony, a hand warm on your waist with the other softly caressing your jaw, and it seemed like it lasted forever.

Because that's the truth. The last time never feels like the last time. There had to be more to this than what the skies have laid down.

Inside your dreamy little mind, Donghyuck was eternal and the love you shared was forever. That's what happened. You thought you had forever.

You thought you had forever, but you didn't.

###

Rule #6: But that won't make him stay if he's bound to leave. Accept that and love him, still. Love him through the rain.

"Lee Jeno tripped!" yells Chenle's loud voice, gaining the attention of everybody in the room, "And fell in love with Y/N, totally whipped that they can't even shop separately!"

"Hell, Chenle, where's your mute button?" Renjun hissed, "We gotta buy presents too. Who decided to do this so late, though? It's the 24th! You guys should've done it weeks ago!"

"Let's go?" Jeno asks, blatantly ignoring Renjun as he waits for you to take his hands. You smirk, waving the folded paper to the others after entwining fingers with him.

"Bye, losers! See y'all later~" you wink. Before being dragged out the Cafe, you point at your friends' direction "Whoever had my name better give me a decent gift, or Christmas is cancelled!"

"Baby, stop that," he asks, squeezing your hands to make you calm down. Your laugh even louder. He smiles, "Who did you get?"

"Hey, Lee, you don't get special treatment just because I'm dating you. It's a secret." you roll your eyes, a skip in your step even though the weather is cold. Jeno steals a peck on your cheeks, and your eyes widen. "Lee Jeno!"

Before you could even catch him, he's already running away from you, and you're almost falling over laughing as you try to catch up to him. He meets you at the end, in front of a busy mall, and catches you with a hug. You laugh on his chest, warm against his hold.

If memories come washing over you, no one has to know. Jeno looks lovely against white. He feels like art on a Christmas day, so beautiful and warm and special. That's all that matters.

"We agreed that we wouldn't try..." Donghyuck whispers, arms around you, "if things will get too harsh on the other, didn't we?"

"Yeah... if I was to leave, Hyuck, I don't want you waiting on me." you responded, half-asleep and sincere, "But I'm only saying it because I'm not leaving."

Donghyuck laughed, "Well, just making sure that if that happens, we'll meet again, yeah?"

"Hyuck, shut up. Nobody's leaving." you groaned, stirring at the joyful yelling downstairs. "Looks like it's 12 already. Merry Christmas, baby."

"Mhm, Merry Christmas. I love you." He smiles, leaves a slow, gentle kiss on your lips. "I love you. I'll love you even more this year."

Does moving away without a word count as loving someone more than you did the past year?

"You're spacing out." Jeno smiles, "Am I that handsome?"

"You always are. Stunning." you quickly reply, a little guilty. You enter the busy room and part ways so that you could shop for your gifts, but not before deciding on a meeting point and leaving a sweet, loving kiss. "Come back, yeah?"

"Of course." he nods before parting ways. Your heart remains at peace — as planned, at the end of the day, Jeno would come back to you at the entrance. He won't leave like the other did. He won't do that to you...

Two hours before Christmas, you sit down on your own for a bit, occasionally distracted by the noise. At their loudness, you can make out Mark trying to calm everybody down, Jaemin threatening murder to keep Jisung and Mark away from the kitchen, Jeno convincing Chenle to get a dog. As you write down their yearly letters, you can't get rid of the smile on your face.

Why they decided to spend this holiday at yours, you don't really understand. Can't say you're against it, though. It's perfect; the tree all of you built together, the presents, the games you'll spend the night playing. The friendship.

Only that someone's missing. As if to lessen the pain, you write his name down on the paper — except it's not a new one, but rather, the page you've been foolishly writing your rules on; the rules that never stood a chance to save you. You trace your hands over the words, but you quickly shake nostalgia away as you turn the page over.

Hello, Donghyuck-ah!

You know the drill. For some time, you received some of my letters, didn't you? After all, we spent some years together... as enemies, as friends, as lovers. You probably memorized how it goes: I'll dwell on the year, I'll tell you how I chose your gift, I'll try to say how much I adore you, and then I'll thank you for being here.

Unfortunately this time, I can't tell you how our year went... I didn't spend it with you. I wasn't able to get you a gift, too, because I don't know if your preferences changed. And I can't thank you for being here. I can't because you're not.

Though I could still tell you that I love you, now it's kind of different. It's less of something that desperately needs you, and more of the kind that longs for you. Jeno and I got together at last. It's complicated how we happened, but we gave it a try and... just. That. You won't read this, but I still want you to know... even if this will never reach you.

Remember that we said that we'll meet again? Well, where are you? Are you happy? How's life been, miles away from home, from your friends, Hyuck-ah?

Merry Christmas. I hope you're happy.

I hope you are, of course, I do. I want you to be happy, I do. I can't wish for anything more — I want you to be happy... just that I hope you're sad sometimes, too, just like me... because of me. I want your heart to break sometimes too. I want you to cry sometimes too. In those empty spaces, I want you to remember me.

And I know you won't do any of that, but in my twisted imagination, you do. And you are.

You're the happiest you could be, but not that much — not happy enough that you'd forget me.

[youremeimyou]

Old Friends

pairing: Jung Hoseok x reader genre: fluff, comedy, slight drama high school crush au and there’s a Hoseok vs y/n rap battle in there, somewhere word count: 6k warnings: just some passionate kissing, oh and shirtless Hoseok;)

Description: Hoseok is your high school friend that you had a different kind of relationship with. You run into him, after many years and rekindle your friendship. Then he takes you to your high school reunion and claims you as his girlfriend. But it’s only an act. Right?

A/N: EGO IS OUT!! I can’t get enough of it, or enough of J-hope. Hence, this oneshot. I gave this my all and had fun reading it back so I’m hoping it’s not shitty. Pls let me know what you think of it. Also I changed the way I write and reffered to the reader as ‘you’ for this one- idk i wanted to try it. If you guys have prefferences you can let me know. I hope you like it. Enjoy!

It's official, you hate summer. Sure.. school's out, no more chasing after professors or migraines lasting for weeks. But goddamn it it's hot and humid. It's like trying to breathe in a sauna, which you hate. Plus, the sun is like a deadly laser. Normally you love strolling through this street. Glancing at cute little stores and admiring street artists as you walk by. Not today, though. Not while feeling like all the water in your body is gonna evaporate any second.

You notice a little crowd up ahead, a half circle. And the sound of a groovy beat captures your attention. You might've stopped and joined the crowd just for the captivating music, if it wasn't for the torturous heat. In this instance you'll settle for only a glance at whatever show is going on inside that half circle.

That's until you see the street dancer there and you stop dead in your tracks. Someone is crazy enough to dance in this heat. Someone manages to look like the greatest performer alive despite the sweat covering his body and the fact that he's probably about to pass out. That someone is Jung Hoseok.

Before you can do anything else, you realize just how much better he’s become. And he was already an amazing dancer the last time you saw him. Back in high school, that is. Hobi the bubbly, cheerful dancer that dominated talent shows every year. Hobi who you occasionally helped pass chemistry. Hobi who could actually also sing, a fact only you knew about him of all the kids at your school. Because you’d spend most of your time in the music room, usually all by yourself. But one time, you caught him sitting alone and singing in there and after that, he’d visit you every so often. In return, he was the only one that knew you composed songs.

It’s been three years since graduation and your last conversation with him. But right now, he’s standing right in front of you. No, he’s dancing. The music ends in time with his final move and the mini crowd goes wild. As he catches his breath, most people leave money in his hat on the floor. You hope they’re being generous. Rightfully so, that was one hell of a performance.

You contemplate on whether you should say hi or not. The introvert in you decides you shouldn’t but before you can turn around to leave, you make eye contact with Hoseok.

“Y/N?” he asks.

“Hey, Hoseok.”

And he smiles. Despite how exhausted he must be, he gives you a whole cheekbones lifted, classic Hobi smile.

“You were amazing. But how did you not faint dancing in a weather like this?” you ask, smiling back.

“Come to think of it, I do feel like blacking out.” he says in between his panting.

You panic and go closer to him quickly. “I can take you to the hospital-”

“I’m kidding, Y/N.”

Did you maybe miss his mischevous ass? You both giggle.

“How about taking me to an icecream shop to catch up, instead? It’s been so freaking long. If you don’t have any plans, I mean.”

Your plan is going home, opening the refrigerator door and standing in front of it. So they’re skippable for an old friend.

“Let’s go before you deteriorate.”

You take him to the closest icecream shop you know and the shop has great air conditioning, thank god. Hoseok sits down and you feel as though he won’t be able to get up and order. Despite the smiley and bright facade of his, his body seems to be worn out. So, you take the liberty to order for both of you.

As you wait in line, order and wait for them to prepare it, you think about what you wanna say to Hoseok. Regardless of how much time has passed, you notice how you still get a little nervous with him around. It used to be like that in high school, too. You could never really look him in the eyes while he was speaking with you. You wouldn’t be intimidated. You’d just be kinda.. overwhelmed.

You take the cups and make your way to the table. Hoseok’s eyes light up, he seems content with your choice. He also looks better now, the cool air of the shop must’ve helped.

“What’re the odds of us meeting like this? Just on the street?” he initiates conversation.

“Well, I’m not exactly surprised to find Hope on the streets.”

“You remember my stage name?” He looks geniunely surprised.

“How can I possibly forget crowds of people going crazy, cheering J-hooope?”

That makes him shy, you think. With him averting his eyes to the ground. You’d hear those cheers often, back then. Hoseok was known as ‘J-hope’ and his act ‘Hope on the street’ was very popular. Everyone in Gwangju High would come to watch him perform, including you. It really is a bit strange how you ran into each other randomly on a street in Seoul, you think. You both had dreams of moving to Seoul as teenagers and had told each other about it. But neither of you knew if the other actually made it there. Until now.

"Did you move here right after graduation? I remember you talking about wanting to persue music here at University of Seoul." he says with his eyes on his icecream. He remembers your dream.

"Yeah, I had to get out of there. I moved here even before knowing if the university had accepted me. Thankfully, I got in. What about you? When did you come here?"

After he takes a spoon of the good stuff, he takes his eyes off from his cup and connects them with yours. It happens so suddenly that you almost blush. You're able to hold it in, though. Barely.

"I kinda wanted to wait until my work at the dance academy was done. So, after two more years at Gwangju, I finally transferred here, to National University of Arts just at the beginning of this semester."

You're glad to see him not giving up on dancing because he's so talented for it that it isn't like anything you've seen before or after you've known him. When he dances, it's like whatever music he's moving to actually finds form in him. And when he's not dancing, the way he moves around, walks, talks still somehow appears artistic.

But then, you realize you've been staring at him, lost in your train of thoughts. And he must've noticed because one corner of his mouth curves upwards a little, forming an almost smirk. This time, you can't stop your cheeks from turning red. Fuck.. What's wrong with you? It's been years since you've even seen his face. Why the hell did you just turn into a teenager, all over again?

"How's music school? Did you drop any albums I'm missing out on?" He asks and his eyes go back to his icecream. You can breathe normally again.

"I think school is always a pain in the ass. Even if it's about music." is your reply. You both laugh.

"I couldn't agree more."

Normally you have a hard time talking about yourself with others. But when it comes to Hoseok, it's different. Because that kinda used to be your relationship back in the days. Talking to each other about stuff you wouldn't with others.

"I've been working in a studio a friend of mine opened and we're working on some stuff but.. I can't seem to finish anything I start so, no. I haven't really been productive." you add with a frown. There're lots of things you don't like about yourself and being a procrastinator is one of them.

Then, a hand is placed lightly on yours that was resting on the table. It's Hoseok, holding your hand and looking at you warmly. "Nah, I'm still pretty sure we're gonna hear your stuff on the radio, soon." He looks like he geniunely believes that. All you can do is smile back in appreciation.

Time goes by as you talk about all kinds of stuff. You learn he lives at the student dorm but he's not exactly happy about it and wants to find a new place to stay. Also that he's giving dance lessons to earn some extra cash. You tell him about Yoongi, that friend of yours who owns a studio and how he's looking for someone to move in, after his flatmate moved away. You promise to have the two meet each other and see if they can become roomates.

Hoseok suggests to exchange numbers but it turns out both of you haven't changed them since high school, so you both have the other in your contacts. And you say goodbye shortly after, agreeing on hanging out again, soon.

By the time you get home, it's already evening and you're a little hesitant to open up the door and greet your roommate, Namjoon. Because you promised him that you'd watch that philosophical movie you can't remember the name of together. But you were supposed to do that about two hours ago. You decide to just go in and explain how you ran into an old friend and got held up. Namjoon'll understand, right? You go inside but see that nobody's home, so you call him.

"What's up ditcher?" is how he answers the phone and you can't blame him, really.

"I'm so sorry Joon. I wanna make it up to you but.. where are you, exactly?"

"Yoongi's."

"Okay, don't move." You hang up the phone and go straight into the apartment across the hall from yours. Yoongi has already opened the door before you can knock. You make for the living room and spot your roommate there. Just as you're about to explain, you also spot credits rolling on the tv screen and finished popcorn bowls.

"Wow, you watched Waking Day without me?" you complain. And Namjoon is quick to respond.

"It's Waking Life and yes, since you were a no-show."

"But you didn't even leave me popcorn."

"What're you saying? There's some left right here." Yoongi is the one who hands you one of the bowls.

"There are literally only three kernels here."

"Well, that's what ditchers get." Yoongi is just as merciless as Namjoon.

"But what if something happened to me on my way back-" you try the approach of pulling on their heartstrings but both of them whip their necks back and look at you in extreme worry, so you decide not to mess around. "Okay, okay. I encountered an old friend and lost track of time catching up. But maybe we can watch another movie and I'll make the popcorn, huh?" You wear a guilty grin on your face.

"Nope. You should take a seat and tell me about this friend that made you ditch me."

You sit down in between the guys on the couch, but you're facing Namjoon and telling him about Hoseok. Yoongi only sees your back and he's just so done with you, as always.

"You guys have a house exactly symmetrical to mine across the hall. Why the hell are you always here? I know it's not to see me, you're not even looking at me." It's a mix between ranting and whining. Both you and Namjoon know he's doing it to get attention.

"Because your couch is comfier." says Namjoon.

"And you have a piano." you add.

"You have a keyboard!"

"My keyboard is no upright piano."

Yoongi gives up with a huff. But you attack him with tickles until he gives in and giggles, all the while trying to get rid of your hands.

"By the way Yoongs, you're still looking for a roommate, right?"

"Yeah, why?"

"The friend of mine from Gwangju I was catching up with, Hoseok, is looking for a new place. I want to introduce you guys."

"Sure. What can you tell me about him?"

You pause because there're lots of things you can say about him. But those are all about the high school Hoseok. You wonder how many of them changed and how many stayed the same. You're sure of some things, though.

"I can tell you that he's a great guy and a dedicated artist, a dancer. Also he's funny and a mood maker."

"Alright. You should bring him over."

"Great! I will."

You wake up to your phone buzzing repeatedly. First thing you do is check the time and your clock on the wall is striking 11:30 in the morning. You overslept, great. It makes sense after you convinced Namjoon to binge watch Death Note before going to bed. But you ended up sleeping on the couch. The fact that you're in your bed right now means Namjoon carried you there.

3 unread messages from Hoseok.

-Morning, Y/N.

-Are you free today?

-I wanna treat you to some coffee.

It's been three to four days since the time you ran into Hoseok and you've been meaning to reach out to him to hang out but he just beat you to it. You thank the god for his extrovertedness.

-I'm taking care of some stuff in the studio today.

-But you can visit me there and if I'm finished quickly we can even hang out later, too.

-If you'd like, of course.

You press send and for some stupid reason your heart races a little fast. Were you being too forward? He just said coffee, maybe he meant a quick get together. You just asked him to wait for you in a studio, possibly for a couple of hours.

Two more buzzing.

-Sure! I'll make sure to help out so you can finish faster.

-Text me the time and the adress when you can.

You sigh in relief. But now it's time to be nervous about how you'll be alone with him there for a long while. Not that it makes you uncomfortable. You just feel that overwhelming feeling of him being around returning. You hope to at least not act like an idiot.

You make your way to the studio and text Hoseok the location, saying he could drop by whenever he'd like. Yoongi told you to listen to some demos for him but you leave that for last. For now, you're setting up some instruments and tuning them up for the band arranged to record tomorrow. But the bell rings and you sprint to answer the door.

"Hi!" you greet him.

"Hey." Hoseok says with a bright smile. He holds up the bags in his hands. "I brought food and icelattes."

"Which makes you a hero. Come in."

You eat and drink your coffees as you talk about stuff. Then, you play a recording of a guy who did an awful cover of Smelly Cat a few days ago. It makes Hoseok laugh so hard that he tumbles out of his seat and falls towards you. You knew it was a habit of his but you had never been the person he falls over to, before.

He helps you get the rest of the things done after that and surely him giving you a hand speeds up the process. For the last thing, you call him over to listen to the demos.

"Wow, some of these are really good. Especially this one, I like the beat a lot."

"Yeap, me too. I'm showing this one to Yoongi, later."

Finished up with the things, you're getting ready to leave but you hear him beatboxing the beat he liked a while ago.

"You can beatbox?"

"Yeah, I picked it up not so long ago."

An idea pops into your mind. You take him by the arm, practically drag him back to the recording booth and hand him a mic.

"Get a beat going."

"Wha-"

"Just do it." And you run back to record him doing it. After that, you throw in some other instruments quickly. When you play the outcome, he smiles so hard.

"How did you just do that in such a short time, coming up with practically a song."

"You did it, too. You came up with a beat off the top of your head. That's the basis of songs, mostly."

He listens to it over and over. "Hey can I use this for when I do freestyle battles?"

"To dance over to? Sure! I'll work on it some more, though and perfect it."

He shys away a little. "Well, this would make a great dance track but.. I meant freestyle rap battles."

"You rap, too? Geez, is there any street art you're not talented in?" You're not that surprised, though. He always stroke you as swag in living form.

"I'm trying to get into it. I should improve if I wanna make a name for myself out on the streets of Seoul." he says half jokingly but it's true that the rap scene has become a major part of street competition, recently. You know from Yoongi and Namjoon who are also rappers.

You play the beat from the top. "C'mon, then. Let me hear a snippet."

"No, no I'm not really-"

"C'mon~ let's battle." you say to get him worked up a bit. Also, you picked up a few things from Yoongi and Namjoon over the last couple of years.

"Oh battle? Okay then, why don't you go first?"

Both of you try to control your laughter and you come up with some very stupid and childlike rhymes that make Hoseok laugh even harder.

"It's your turn, J-hope."

"Ooo~" he gets more fired up with the mention of his stage name. You're going back and forth rapping about the most random and funny stuff. But then you get bolder and want to go at him a bit, to get him more serious about this. Trying to remember embarrassing things he's done in high school, you throw in lines about the time he had to dance in his underpants in front of the whole school after losing a bet.

Also, there's this face you pull whenever you try to diss someone, something you picked up from Yoongi. But it looks funny on you and the boys always make fun of you about it. You're sure you're doing it right now, too out of habit. And you're not wrong because as soon as you're done, Hoseok starts and he mentions it.

Except, he says something along the lines of despite of you having that expression, he still doesn't feel like you're dissing him because of how beautiful you look even while pulling a funny face.

What? Did he just call you beautiful? In a rap battle?

You're in shock and aren't able to speak for a while. Which Hoseok takes advantage of. "You failed to come up with something in time, Y/N. I win." Then he boops your nose. He fucking boops your nose. What did you get yourself into?

It's the day you finally bring Hoseok to meet with Yoongi. It's been a couple of weeks since you guys started hanging out kinda on a regular basis and Yoongi finally had some free time. The three of you are sitting in Yoongi's living room and you're watcing them get to know each other. Everything seems to go well. The door opens and Namjoon walks in.

"Yo. Sorry I'm late."

"It's okay since you live far away. Oh wait, you live across the hall." Yoongi is quick to welcome him.

"At least I brought dessert."

The two boys go into the kitchen to get dessert ready to be served.

"That's my roomate Namjoon. He wanted to meet you, too." you inform Hoseok.

"Roommate? Wait- you live just next door?"

"Yeah."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner? I'd beg to Yoongi or something to get him to accept me!" he says with a smile. You're glad he's happy about the fact you might live next to each other.

"I think he already likes you. I'm pretty sure you got the room."

And you turn out to be right. Hoseok and Yoongi hit it off quickly and he moves in a couple of days later. You start spending even more time together since then. Both with the other boys around and just you two, alone.

This one time Yoongi gives you the day off, Namjoon is off to do a job interview and you've got absolutely nothing to do. So you go over to see Hoseok. You knock and ring the bell but loud music is coming from inside and he doesn't hear you. The door isn't locked, though and you just go in. When you get to the living room you see Hoseok practising, going really hard at it. There're sweatdrops on his face and his white shirt-now practically see through shirt-is stuck to his body, revealing the delicate structure of it.

Blood rushes to your cheeks and your heart is thumping but you can't look away. He's art, you think. Art that you can't get enough of. He finally notices you, which almost gives you a heart attack but thankfully he isn't uncomfortable with you being there.

"Hey- uh- phew." he tries to talk but needs a moment to catch his breath, first. "Y/N. Please tell me you've been standing there long enough that you saw my new moves."

You nod, still not completely out of your daze. "They were.." you trail off because he just casually takes his shirt off in front of you. "Can you pass me that?" he asks you to hand him over the towel on the chair next to you. You're on autopilot as you do so.

"So, what do you think?"

"Oh yeah- Umm.. it was awesome. Very captivating.."

"Thanks." he smiles brightly while walking closer to you. "I'm gonna take a quick shower. You wanna hang out, after?"

Right. That's why you came over, you remember. "Yeah, I'll be here."

Hoseok and you just hang inside all day. Not doing much but still managing to have fun. Yoongi comes home for a while but has to go back out again, so it's mostly just you two. In the middle of the night, you guys start watching a movie, planning to stay awake till morning but Hoseok's tired from practising earlier and dozes off, eventually. And you're famous for sleeping in front of the tv, so you quickly follow. Then, you two somehow get in a cuddly position in your sleep.

The next morning- or more like afternoon, you wake up to Yoongi slurping his coffee, seated right across from you. Hoseok's nowhere to be seen.

"Hey Yoongs, why am I still here?"

"Well, you obviously fell asleep in front of the tv again and Namjoon's strong arms weren't here to carry you to bed."

"Where is he?"

"Joon said he was staying at a friend last night, not wanting to get all soaked up in the rain. And Hobi woke up just moments ago and went out, saying he has to get ready for a gig."

You nod at him and get up. You're about to go back to your place to wash up but realize something suddenly.

"Since when do you call him Hobi?"

"Since when do you have a crush on him?"

Your eyes go wide with panic. "Wha- No way what're you say-"

"Do you think I'm blind? I can perfectly see it when two people are cuddling on my couch."

"We just fell asleep that's all-"

"I saw you two over at the piano, too. And in the kitchen a few days ago doing the dishes. And while dancing here in the living room for no reason. You can't look him in the eyes without going red and he can't take his eyes off of you."

There isn't much you can say to convince him otherwise because you realize that he's right. At first when you guys started hanging out again, you thought you felt butterflies because you kinda had a thing for him in high school. You paid it no mind thinking it'd fade away with time but it didn't. Your feelings only grew stronger and now you know it was visible to others.

What has you tensed up, however is the way Yoongi talks about the situation like it's both-sided. That's where you can't be sure. Because yes, Hoseok randomly calls you beautiful, takes you out for meals and spends entire days with you. But you don't know if he likes you like that or if he's just being friendly. Just like back in high school.

"Okay, yeah. He makes me feel a certain way. But there's nothing going on, we haven't even talked about it. I don't think he's into me like that."

Yoongi's brows furrow in confusion. "He was just asking me if anything was going on between you and Joon the other day, though."

He asked what?

"What?"

"Dude, he was obviously jealous and suspicious of the fact that you were roommates. And very close ones."

You did have a very close bond with Namjoon, just as you did with Yoongi. Yoongi's just involved less skinship and more serious talk. But Namjoon was the first person who friended you in Seoul and over the years he became your self proclaimed guardian angel. That was all.

"You didn't correct him?!"

"I tried but he seemed overwhelmed with confusion, I'm not sure if he fully believed me. Or fully listened? I dunno- I was kinda enjoying his little emotional crisis."

"Yoongs!"

"Fine! So yeah, maybe you should to talk to him."

How do you talk to someone about this? you wonder. And can Yoongi really be right about the possibility of him reciprocating your feelings?

You're reading a book on your couch. It's been a couple of days since your cuddly interaction with Hoseok and you haven't really hung out after that, either. You're not avoiding him, though. More like testing the waters. Namjoon's little squeal and sprint to the living room gets you out of your thoughts.

"Y/N! Oh my god!"

"Joonie what happened?"

"I got in." His smile is from ear to ear but you're not surprised he got the job he was going after for a while now. He happens to be intelligent beyond your understanding. But also a goofball. Because he -who usually treats books like his children- throws the one you were reading away and gets you up on his back. Now you're both singing victory songs as he gives you a piggy back ride.

Just then, Hoseok makes an entrance to your apartment, sees you two and his face visibly drops.

"Oh- sorry guys. I should've knocked-"

"Dude, it's okay. Think about our two apartments as one big house. You don't have to worry about knocking everytime. Come in!" Namjoon is being his friendly self as he puts you down. "I gotta go call my parents. Thanks for always believing in me, Y/N." He places a soft peck on the top of your head and goes back to his room. Uh-oh. You hope Hoseok doesn't misunderstand.

"How are you doing, Hobi?"

"I'm-" he hesitates for a while. "I didn't know you and Namjoon were.. are you? Y'know like together?"

"No!" you regret yelling but it just comes out before you can stop. "I mean, it's not like that. We're friends. In fact he kinda decleared himself my older brother."

The total grimace that had took over Hoseok's face starts to slowly dissappear. "Oh, okay. I'm sorry for making you uncomfortable like that-"

"No, no. Let's just change the subject." You want to move on from this before it gets awkward.

"Okay. Oh right! I came over to show you something."

He holds out his phone for you to see. It's an invite to an event. Gwangju High's high school reunion, to be exact. You also got one, too but immediately deleted.

"The reunion? You're going?" you ask.

"We should go."

You're about to protest but he cuts in.

"I know most of our year were jerks. But it's Gwangju. I know you miss it there. And high school wasn't all evil."

"It was the people who were evil, Hobi."

"That's why we have to show them their evil ways weren't enough to break us down."

"What do you mean, we? Everyone loved you!"

"The jocks hated me for being popular despite not playing football."

That was true. They sometimes gave him a hard time for grabbing the attention of girls more than them.

"Besides, we're grown ups. If they weren't able to mature, that's their problem. We'll just breathe in some hometown air and have fun."

You did miss home. And the fact Hoseok'll be with you eases your stress so you say yes.

Hoseok and you roam the streets of Gwangju, firstly. You tell him the places you missed most and you visit those. When the reunion evening closes in, both of you go to your homes to get ready. Your parents are sort of shocked you're attending the event but they won't complain because they missed you a lot and you haven't realized how much you missed them back till you finally came back after a long while.

Hoseok comes to pick you up and oh boy. He immediately recongnizes the dress you're wearing as the exact one you wore to prom. The light blue piece fits your body even more perfectly now, he thinks.

"This is your prom dress." It's not a question because he's certain.

You panic because well you wore it thinking nobody would remember since not a lot of people were paying attention to you during prom and you didn't have anything else decent enough in your old closet. How the hell does he remember?

"It looks even more beautiful." And with that, your panic is no more.

You get to the school finally and almost everyone is there. All trying very hard to look fancy, so Hoseok and you make fun of some of them before entering.

"It's J-hope!", "Hope's back!" and "Who is that with Hoseok?" are the comments you hear as you walk by. A few speeches are given, while you stuff your face with cupcakes. Then music's on and people start dancing.

Hoseok is approached by many and he kindly converses with them all. He forces you to speak from time to time, too. One of the boys who you used to tutor a lot, Hansung, tries to make a couple of moves on you. Probably under the influence of alcohol. You politely dismiss him but some other guys that came alone also are eyeing you from different places of the room. Hoseok is well aware and not okay with it, at all.

He slides a hand down your arm and links your fingers. When you turn to him in surprise, he pulls you closer. "Let's act like a couple."

"What-"

"I'm sick of people trying to see if you're available for them, aren't you?"

It is a bit disturbing. You bet most of them didn't even recognize you and are just looking for a prey for the night. "I am." you reply.

"Then just go with it."

So you do that but this time the girls start to get uncomfortable since most of them were eyeing Hoseok. And like clockwork, Gaeun appears with her gang of plastic girls. Gaeun used to be Hoseok's biggest fan. But all she actually wanted was to get into his pants just cause of how popular he was. Knowing this, you tense up. Her eyes hold such a suggestive look that you almost want to protect Hoseok from her.

As far as you know Hoseok has never indulged her like that back in school days. And he doesn't seem to be effected by the way she looks right now, either which can be described in two words: model legs.

"Hobi~" her irritating voice muses. "There're lots of girls wanting to dance with you tonight."

He takes his hand away from yours to claimingly grab you waist. "Sorry, ladies. My dances are all booked by this one, right here." He turns his head and places a kiss on your temple.

"I'm sure your date for the night won't mind if-"

"She's not just my date for the night. Y/N is my girlfriend." he cuts her off. Shock is evident not only on their faces but yours as well. The girls have to walk away awkwardly but what they think they're speaking among themselves is quite audible to you.

"There's no way. Y/N could never be enough for him. Just wait until the end of the night and see how he gets bored."

Hoseok didn't hear them. But you and some other people did. And you don't care what Gaeun says but her words get around fast and people are looking at you even more weirdly than before. Hoseok realizes your body tensing up.

"What's the matter?"

"I don't think people are buying that we're together. Especially after Gaeun started speaking to them."

He looks around to find that people really were looking at you suspiciously.

"Let's make it more believable, then."

He pulls you to the dancefloor and starts moving you to the rhythm. You've danced with him before but they were all silly ones, meant for fun. This one was serious. And your bodies were seriously close. But you just let him lead you, knowing that he knows what he's doing. After a while he figures that the music's ending so he twirls you around and finishes with a sudden dip.

You're back is resting againt his hand as you're leant back and Hoseok's face is so very close to yours. Some people clap and some don't but neither of you really care about the people watching anymore. Then he kisses you. He downright kisses you at the center of the dancefloor. It's passionate but gentle. He doesn't let go for a while but you've no clue how long it's been cause you're lost in the taste of him. Which is a thousand times sharper than the whiskey and a thousand times sweeter than the cupcakes.

He pulls you back up, finally parting your lips. "I think we got about enough attention. Wanna get out of here? We can go to the music room." he suggests. All you can do is nod cause you still can't form words.

You get there and it's the only place in this school that you've missed. You sit down on the piano seat and Hoseok pulls a chair next to you, it's like deja vu.

"You know the song you used to play, the one I liked a lot. River-"

"River flows in you." of course you remember.

"Yeah. I kinda tried learning that on the piano a while back."

"Show me."

He tries to play it and messes up some bits so you help him out. Then, your hands touch accidentally and you both freeze.

"Y/N-"

"Hoseok-"

You both try to speak at the same time and cut each other off, so you laugh. Hoseok goes for it again.

"Y/N. I wanted to ask you out so many times right here, as you'd play songs to me. Did you know that?"

You most certainly did not.

"I wanted to ask you to a dance at the prom, so bad. But you left before I could muster up the courage."

He turns to face you completely.

"I couldn't believe it when I found you again, like that. Everything I felt came back to me as we spent more and more time with each other. And when I got that invite.. I thought- Maybe I've been given a second chance, to do it right this time."

Your heart is racing so fast that you can hear it. Every word he said are things that you've been thinking. So you have to do it properly this time, too.

"So.. so, will you go out with-"

You crash your lips with his immediately and he responds in a flash. This time the kiss is much more deep and demanding. His hands travel down to your waist as you get up from your seat and move to his lap. He hums into your mouth and you try to take in every bit of the vibration from it before both of you pull apart, out of breath.

But he still looks at you with questioning eyes, as if you haven't just given him an answer clear as day. But he looks so cute that you entertain him.

"Yes, high school crush. I will go out with you."

He can finally smile again. Though, it turns into a smirk a while later.

"But will you go out with me?" you joke around, still sitting on his lap.

"I will go out with you so bad that it'll swipe you right off your feet."

As if he already doesn't..

....

A/N: Wowzers, my first Hoseok fic is finished.. I know this was long and thanks sooo much if you bared with me and read it. It would mean a great deal to me to know what you thought of this so, I’d love to have your feedback. Thanks again for reading and have a lobely daayyy :)

PS: How beautiful is Hoseok btw..