#and the young bucks getting beat up by FUCKING RIC FLAIR

[adambudgebaybay]

Yeahhhh... I think I might stop watching AEW live for a bit

[anthonysstupiddailyblog]

Anthony's Stupid Daily Blog (714): Thu 29th Feb 2024

Tuned into last night's AEW Dynamite which featured Sting's final television appearance as an active wrestler before he retires on Sunday at Double or Nothing. TO be honest it could have been done much better. Last week Ric Flair teased siding with the Young Bucks out of frustration over not being more involved with Sting's retirement tour. Tonight after the Bucks beat up Darby Allin in the ring who came out to get revenge for Sting who they'd been calling out all night, The Nature Boy came down to the ring for the assist. It looked like he was going to hit Darby with a baseball bat but at the last second he poked Nicholas in the eye and started punching Matthew. It was a nice, if VERY predictable moment but seconds later the Bucks got their wind back and started pounding on Flair. So was this actually how Flair saw this whole fake dissention scheme playing out? Did he think that even though there were two of them and one of him they would probably flee and not gang up on him after an eye poke and some light jabs? Anywho the actual ending was Sting descending from the rafters one last time and brawling with the EVP's to send them off. It was a cool visual but doesn't make sense that he sat and watched his friends get beat down and only showed up as the show was about to go off the air. Like I say it could have been done much better but hopefully the actual match will end up being a fitting send off for The icon. The show also featured a pretty good fake-out moment where Hangman Page claimed he was going to have to pull out of the upcoming three way dance between him, Swerve and Samoa Joe due to an injury. However after Swerve came out to talk down to him, Hanger revealed it was all bullshit and attacked Swerve from behind. Again, this was a good IDEA for a segment and he did pull the wool over mine and I'm sure a lot of other people's eyes but the payoff was kind of lame. All hangman did after revealing he was actually fine was whack Swerve twice with his crutch. He didn't slam him through a broadcast table or cave his head in with cement blocks or something like that but it seems Hanger felt that two whacks with a crutch was more than enough payback for Swerve breaking into his house a few months ago. Also Hanger is the de facto heel now because the fans have decided they like Swerve and want to see him get a push so Hanger doing the gotcha spot doesn't make a lot of sense. The worst thing of the whole show was Chris Jericho taking on Atlantis Jr the son of one of Jericho's old rivals from CMLL: Atlantis. Jericho absolutely stank up the joint by trying to keep up with this twenty something year old high flyer but he looked so slow and out of step, plus there was a lot of miscommunication throughout. I love Jericho as a performer and just a few years ago it looked like he was in no danger of ever slowing down but it appears that he has finally gone over the hill because this match was just dreadful.

To my surprise I managed to read the remainder of the penultimate book in my Edgar Award winners challenge: Five Decembers by James Kestrel (almost 300 pages) in one day. After the last book Djinn Patrol on the Purple Line by Deepa Anappara didn't float my boat I was worried that perhaps there would be no truly great books left to read in this challenge but Five Septembers put my fears to rest (and now my only remaining fear is that I may one day have to sit through another Chris Jericho vs Atlantis Jr). The book is about a cop who travels all the way to China to track down a murderer but almost immediately after he arrives World War Two breaks out and he is arrested by Japanese soldiers. After several months in an internment camp he is rescued by two people who knew the person who was murdered and they take him in, allowing him to sit out the entire war. I won't give away the ending but it's fucking tremendous and I will definitely be checking out more of Kestrel's work. After finishing the book and breathed a sigh of relief and looked over at my coffee table which over the past few years has played host to a stack of books that I have challenged myself to read and now upon this table sits only ONE BOOK. Four years and sixty nine books after starting this ridiculous challenge I have finally arrived at the last one. Tomorrow I will start reading Notes On An Execution but Danya Kukafka and hopefully I will finish it sometime next week and I can lay this damn challenge to rest like I did to that kid on the bus who wouldn't stop playing his shitty music.

[closetofanxiety]

50 Wrestling Questions: Why Not

Remember this? It’s been a while. Let’s do this again. Let’s twist again like we did last summer. Or the summer of 2017 in this case.

1. What got you into wrestling?

People ask me this all the time, and I don’t really have a good answer. I’ve liked it on and off since I was very young, and who knows why you like the stuff you like when you’re a little kid? 

2. What is your favorite wrestling promotion?

Of all time: ECW, even though I would probably think of it very differently if it were happening today. Currently: Beyond Wrestling. 

3. Favorite male wrestler of all time?

Gorgeous George, but if we’re talking about people who were alive when I was alive, Dusty Rhodes. I want to say Bruiser Brody, but in my heart I would know I was just saying that to look cool. 

4. Favorite female wrestler of all time?

Gail Kim. For the longest time, she was the only woman in a major global wrestling company who got over based on her wrestling ability. She was doing stuff in TNA that was years ahead of its time, and could adapt her style to get great matches with a variety of opponents with very different backgrounds. And she can still go, as she showed in the match against Tessa Blanchard the other night. I know it would be cooler to say Bull Nakano or Chigusa Nagayo or something, but I don’t know enough of their stuff to make that claim credible. I am who I am, a person who goes to the mall to buy shoes. 

5. Favorite current male wrestler?

Nick Gage

6. Favorite current female wrestler?

Momo Watanabe 

7. Favorite theme song?

Joey Janela’s music captures his vibe perfectly, and sounds great being blasted out of PA speakers inside a small bar or VFW hall. Of all time, probably, I don’t know, Honky Tonk Man? In an ironic way that slowly becomes sincere?

8. Least favorite theme song?

Ricochet’s WWE theme music is pretty dreadful. 

9. Favorite gimmick?

Currently: Orange Cassidy. All time: Road Warriors maybe? They were almost 100 percent gimmick, and they were the biggest tag team in the world at a great time for tag team wrestling. 

10. Least favorite gimmick?

All the racist and gay-hating gimmicks that have been used throughout the years are more or less equally horrible. If we’re talking about a terrible gimmick that was non-malignant, I’d say it was taking giant indestructible ass-kicker Mike Awesome and making him “That 70s Guy.” 

11. Best entrance (either their usual entrance or a special one, like a Wrestlemania entrance)?

Gorgeous George had the best entrance of all time, and it’s been copied ever since (Ric Flair’s entrance is basically Gorgeous George’s, scored with a different piece of classical music). The Sandman also had a great entrance. He was kind of all-entrance, now that I think of it. I also love those old shows in Japan where Brody would come out to “Immigrant Song” running through the crowd, swinging a fucking chain over his head like a lunatic. An entrance that makes you fear for your life: mission accomplished. 

12. Best Undertaker Wrestlemania match?

I am not the right person to ask for Undertaker superlatives, but the Lesnar match had a legitimately shocking conclusion that I still appreciate 

13. Most overrated?

I’m tempted to incur the wrath of the online by making a contrarian hot take selection like Ken Omega, but in reality it’s probably the Undertaker. 

14. Most underrated?

There are a million choices from before the 1980s, the Before Time of contemporary pro wrestling. Edouard Carpentier, say; he was having matches in 1970 that would not look out of place in 2019. Since the 1980s, I’d say Jerry Lynn is a very strong contender for most underrated. The popular choice would be Sid or Lex Luger, but I think they’re pretty much rated exactly as they should be. 

15. Have you ever been to an event? If so, which one?

I certainly have been to many pro wrestling events. I go to one or two a month. Like a lot of things, wrestling is pretty much always fun in person. It helps that the Northeast has a ton of good companies within easy driving distance. My favorite show of all time might be Americanrana 2016. 

16. Who has the best merch?

We’re in a weird period where people on Instagram are making better shirt designs (in insanely limited editions) than the vast majority of wrestlers or wrestling companies. I will say that Kris Wolf has yet to make an ugly or boring piece of merchandise, which is a huge complication in this day and age. 

17. Do you own any merch?

Nope! Wait, I mean, “yes, entirely too much.” Shirts, 8 x 10s, DVDs, magazines, random pieces like fancy enamel badges and a stack of Okada bucks. The one thing I’ve never gotten into is action figures, and that’s probably good for the ol’ bank balance. 

18. Best nickname?

"The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes is an all-time classic. 

19. Worst nickname?

"The Game” is a dumb nickname. “The Cerebral Assassin” is also a dumb nickname. Are assassins supposed to be stupid? I bet they’re typically very smart, although of low moral character. “Triple H” is his only good nickname, and even that sounds like the nickname of a guy who owns a car dealership out by the highway.

20. Best mic skills?

Nobody was ever better than Bobby Heenan, who had incredible range and versatility. He could do comedy and he could do menace. He could do calm and he could do spitting rage. He had an uncanny sense of timing and was quicker on his feet than almost anyone. No one really comes close at matching his astonishing depth, but Dusty Rhodes was an all-time great promo. He really made you care about wrestling matches, which is not an easy thing to do.

21. Most annoying?

I mean, it has to be Vince McMahon. 

22. Most attractive male?

Is Tanahashi too obvious a choice? Best hair in wrestling. It’s incredible and luxurious, like an untamed mountain stream. Andrade “Cien” Almas or whatever they’ve shortened his name to (”And”) is a handsome man. Killer Kross: very handsome. We live in a golden age of attractive wrestlers. Just look back at the gassed-up Zubaz mastodons of the 1980s, or the territories-era guys who all looked like they were 48 years old and had pot bellies. You almost have to try to find unattractive wrestlers. Nick Gage, for instance. But I’m sure even he has his swooning admirers. 

23. Most attractive female?

Again, what a time for attractive wrestlers. It may be shallow, but wrestling is a business that’s at least partially cosmetic. Attractive people sell tickets. I would, and have, bought a ticket to see Hana Kimura. 

24. Favorite faction?

Of all time? Probably the Barry Windham-era Four Horsemen. More recently, Team Pazuzu. 

25. Worst faction?

BULLET CLUB. No, it’s not the Bullet Club, as exhausted as they’ve become. It’s probably the nWo after early 1998 or so, when they had like 60 members and dragged down every storyline. 

26. Best ring gear?

Su Yung and Pentagon Jr. 

27. Who do you think would be the nicest in real life?

I bet Jerry Lynn is a good guy to know. People in wrestling universally praise Little Guido, which is very rare. The Young Bucks seem like they might be decent dudes. Willow Nightingale told a story on a podcast about Nick Gage excitedly playing with Solo Darling’s dog backstage, so you never know. 

28. Who would be the rudest in real life?

On the indie level, it’s probably someone who doesn’t work very much. Above the indie level, I bet some of those British guys are secretly horrible, like Jimmy Havoc. 

29. Favorite heel?

Currently it’s a tie between MJF and Alisha Edwards, two of the only people who can regularly get indie crowds to boo them. Of all time, heel Flair was hard to beat. 

30. Most hardcore?

It’s definitely either a guy in Japan or a guy in Mexico, and he’s definitely been burned by explosive charges multiple times. Onita? It’s probably Onita. Or Jun Kasai? I think Onita has probably been exploded more times than Jun Kasai. 

31. A wrestler you could beat?

At wrestling? Not a single one of them. Nicholas, the small boy who won the WWE tag team championship with Braun Strowman, would wipe the floor with me. Even the most callow bodybuilder-turned-wrestler would not break a sweat beating me senseless. But writing talking points for senior administration officials in preparation for legislative testimony? Now you’re on my turf. Not so tough now, huh, Nicholas? 

32. Best story line?

Freebirds vs. Von Erichs or Stone Cold vs. Vince. My heart says the former, my head says the latter. 

33. Biggest missed opportunity for a story line?

The WWE blowing the invasion angle after purchasing WCW is the obvious one. More recently, they blew it by not turning Reigns heel. 

34. Worst story line?

Ha, so many of them. Impossible to choose just one. At least most of the dumb embarrassing Russo ones in WCW and TNA were basically harmless, like the time Samoa Joe got kidnapped by ninjas. The Chuck and Billy wedding thing was far worse. A low point even by Vince’s impressively cretinous standards.

35. Which wrestler should turn heel?

I’d like to see a Jordynne Grace heel run in Impact. Heel Finn Balor would also be good. 

36. Which wrestler should turn face?

Samoa Joe has a good fiery babyface, “I’m tired of doing your dirty work, McMahon!” run in him. 

37. Who would be the worst to room with?

Can you imagine sharing a living space with Enzo Amore? Or the thicket of twee Disney merchandise you’d have to negotiate every day if you lived with Johnny Gargano?

38. Who would be the best to room with?

I bet Eddie Edwards would be a surprisingly thoughtful roommate, like he’d always do the dishes “because I love doing them!,” that kind of thing. I have nothing to base this suspicion on, he just seems like my old roommate, Shane, who was like that. 

39. Who would be your best friend if you were a wrestler?

I’d like to say Jushin Thunder Liger, and posit that we would go on exciting adventures, but the answer is probably something like “Comp Time” Terry Dandridge, who wrestles monthly for 2Xtreme All-Pro Wrestling Alliance out of Euphoria, Kansas and has a 9 to 5 as a hardware store manager. 

40. What would your job be in a wrestling promotion?

I’d normally make a self-effacing joke here, but I do social media training at my real job, and so many wrestlers are badly in need of help in this area. 

41. Favorite wrestling podcast/Youtube channel?

I like AIW’s “The Card is Going to Change” podcast a lot, and there’s one by the owners of RevPro that’s pretty good. It’s hard to find a well-produced wrestling podcast that talks about independent wrestling. My favorite wrestling YouTube channel is OSW Review. 

42. Favorite finisher?

BURNING HAMMER

43. Least favorite finisher?

The Bayley-to-belly suplex. HOW IS THIS A FINISHING MOVE

44. Favorite match?

Kerry Von Erich vs. Jerry Lawler at Superclash III. It was a bloody, weird, engrossing spectacle, and it was the symbolic end of the territories era. 

45. Favorite PPV?

Royal Rumble is the last PPV my casual fan friends reliably want to see, and with good reason: it’s engrossing.

46. Guilty pleasure wrestler?

Big Banter Baron Corbin, but I feel no guilt here. He rules. 

47. Favorite submission?

THE KATA HA JIME, otherwise known as the Tazmission.

48. Most entertaining to watch?

All time? Randy Savage. Currently? Io Shirai. 

49. Best spot?

Anyone spitting mist into the unsuspecting eyes of their foes

50. Who do you most respect?

I respect you, booker man.

[keepingupwiththekayfabe]

It’s hard to explain pro wrestling to someone who isn’t a fan. The suspension of disbelief that is often required immediately leaves some people already checked out before you can even say the word “kayfabe”, and the amount of storytelling, choreography, and performance art required in the modern day WWE-style event is often more than even the most lavish and overproduced theatre production.

All the more surprising, then, is the fact that the most enduring and legendary character in wrestling history is an undead zombie warlock wizard man named The Undertaker.

For over a quarter of a century, The Undertaker has ruled the WWE ring – his yard – and along the ride he’s dug thousands of holes for thousands of souls for them all to rest in peace within. This may or may not be a metaphor, no one really knows.

Having been introduced to us all as a grave-digging funeral home owner (or something like that, lots of early ‘90s wrestlers had gimmicks related to professions such as dentistry and hairdressers, obviously), The Undertaker was an imposing, intimidating near seven footer behemoth. Dressed in all black save for some eerie white gloves that matched his pale complexion, the Deadman quickly grew a legion of fans across the globe that adored his spooky, supernatural performance.

Everything points towards The Undertaker being more of a bad guy than a good guy - how many horror films end with the zombie getting the girl, at least romantically? Despite that, you’d still be hard pushed to find someone who dare even think about booing the veteran, and with good reason.

Undertaker has almost always fought with heart, courage, pride, and passion. Whether he’s fighting off some young buck who’s trying to besmirch his legacy, or taking down evil in the name of justice, the seven time World champion isn’t afraid to throw down with the best of them and do what’s right.

He exudes coolness in a way that no one else does, like a cowboy riding into a last chance saloon when everyone is down. The way he stands sends a message to everyone around that he is, frankly, not to be fucked with, and his arrival into every arena and stadium is electrifying. From his ethereal entrance to his climactic exit, he commands the attention of the crowd like no other, often ushering silence when he speaks and cheers when he fights. One of his old entrance themes is even featured in our intro jingle, just because of how much I like it.

The best kind of wrestling is the kind that you can watch with the sound off and still understand the dynamic of; if you can watch a match without the commentary and crowd noise and still comprehend the story being told, it’s doing its job right. That principle applies to no one more than The Undertaker, who utilises strength, speed, and smarts to overcome the very best, and any given match of his is a master class in teaching respect and humility to his unlucky opponents.

Simply put, The Undertaker is the absolute best.

It’s the reason why, when my school friends were introducing me to wrestling and we would put on pretend matches on the playground, I would always be The Undertaker. This started out by accident, as they’d all pick The Rock, Triple H and Stone Cold Steve Austin before I got the chance to pick, and I’d get dealt the role of the Phenom. They all quickly realised that actually they wanted to be him, but it was too late – I’d already tombstoned their heads into the concrete and buried them alive. Metaphorically.

It’s the reason why, even when he was beating up plucky young rookies like Maven and well-established legends like Ric Flair, I still rooted for him in the face of his less-than-saintly actions (at this point, his theme music was a Limp Bizkit song, so maybe it was a sympathy vote).

It’s the reason why, when playing wrestling video games, I would always pick The Undertaker. I know his move set inside out, and would spend hours tapping away in order to be the best Undertaker I could be in a virtual setting.

It’s the reason why I’ve always enjoyed any of the darker, broodier characters WWE has had, because they remind me of him. Whether it’s the hits (The Wyatt Family, SAnitY, Finn Balor) or the misses (Mordecai AND Kevin Thorn), they’ve always spoken to me on the same level of enjoyment I get out of Undertaker, because the supernatural and superweird bits of wrestling are some of the best.

And it’s the reason why, upon his apparent retirement at WrestleMania 33, I’m at a total loss for how to feel now. Having left it all out there in the ring during one final match with Roman Reigns - including his signature hat, cloak and gloves – we now exist in a world without The Undertaker. Sure, he only showed up a few times a year at this point, but that was part of his mystique; would he be showing up tonight? Will we hear that fateful GONG to signal his arrival?

That allure is now gone, and with it arguably the cornerstone of WWE. Modern day wrestling is now missing an anchor that it’s had for nearly 26 years, and the biggest attraction in Vince McMahon’s arsenal of superstars and performers is done, seemingly for good. Despite wrestling across three separate decades, it still feels like it was never enough, and the WWE Universe is rightly grieving over the loss of its finest and most loyal hero.

All we can say is thank you, and that’s all he’d ever want anyway.

#ThankYouTaker

[lyrics2world]

Homicide Lyrics - Logic

Homicide Lyrics From Confessions of a Dangerous Mind Album.Song Sung By Logic.Song Published By Logic.

Song Credit

Song - Homicide

Album - Confessions of a Dangerous Mind 

Lebel - Logic

Homicide Lyrics 

[Smokey Legendary & Logic:]

Son, you know why you the greatest alive?

Why dad?

Because you came out of my balls, nigga!

Hahahahahaha!

[Logic:]

Fuck rap

Bustin' like an addict with a semi-automatic

Who done had it, and he ready for anybody to buck back

Hold up, catch a vibe, ain't no way in hell we leavin' nobody alive

Leave a suicide note, fuck that

Bobby feelin' villainous, he killin' this

I'm comin' for your man and his lady and even the baby

I'm feelin' like I'm, chika-chika-chika, Slim Shady with rabies

I'm foamin' at the mouth, ain't nobody takin' me out

Every single rapper in the industry, yeah, they know what I'm about

And I dare you to test me

'Cause not a single one of you motherfuckers impress me

And maybe that's a little bit of an exaggeration

But I'm full of innovation

And I'm tired of all of this high school "he's cool, he's not" rap shit

Can a single one of you motherfuckers even rap? Shit

No, this ain't a diss to the game, it's a gas to the flame

Nowadays, everybody sound the same, shit's lame

Like a moth to the flame, I'ma reel 'em in and kill 'em

Know you feelin' lyricism when I'm spillin' it, I'm feelin' myself

Yeah, yeah, Bobby Boy, he be feelin' himself

Mass murder like this can't be good for my health

When I rap like this, do I sound like shit?

Well, it don't really matter, 'cause I'm killin' this shit

Yeah, I'm killin' this shit

Oh yeah, oh yeah, I'm killin' this shit

Bobby, how many times you been killin' this shit?

Find another rhyme, goddamn, nigga, shit

Fuck rap

Bustin' like an addict with a semi-automatic

Who done had it, and he ready for anybody to buck back

Hold up, catch a vibe, ain't no way in hell we leavin' nobody alive

Leave a suicide note, fuck that

Bobby feelin' villainous, he killin' this

I'm comin' for your man and his lady and even the baby

I'm feelin' like I'm, chika-chika-chika-chika

Chika-chika-chika-chika-chika, Slim Shady

There's nowhere to hide, we call this shit genocide

Hit 'em with that (Do-do-do) and they die

We gon' leave 'em crucified, we call this shit genocide

I got bitches, I got hoes, I got rare designer clothes

No, we ain't fuckin' with that

Yeah, there's a time and a place

But if you ain't comin' with the illest of raps

Callin' yourself the greatest alive

Then you don't deserve to do that

No, no, oh no, no, please do not do that

You gon' get smacked

You gon' make Bobby attack

You gon' make Bobby Boy snap

You gon' make Bobby Boy snap (Bobby Boy!)

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

Fuck rap

Bustin' like an addict with a semi-automatic

Who done had it, and he ready for anybody to buck back

Hold up, catch a vibe, ain't no way in hell we leavin' nobody alive

Leave a suicide note, fuck that

Bobby feelin' villainous, he killin' this

I'm comin' for your man and his lady and even the baby

I'm feelin' like I'm chika-chika-chika-chika

Chika-chika-chika-chika-chika, Slim Shady

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

[Eminem:]

Jigga-jigga-jigga-jigga-jigga like JAY-Z

Jig is up, you fuckers who didn't write anything

Are getting washed now, liga-liga-liga, like bathing

Young Hova, I know hitters like Yankees

Gun toters that pull triggers like crazy

Unloadin', leave you shot up in your Rover

Your body goes limp and slumps over

Like A-Rod in a month lull, but he just homered

Hold up, I said rover because now your Rover is red

Like Red Rover, so you know what I meant

But I roll over my opponents instead

Makin' dog sounds 'cause I gotta keep breakin' these bars down

I'll go slow for the speds

But when I go (Roof!) like the Doberman said

I still think the (Roof!) would go over your head (Haha)

Beast mode, motherfuckers 'bout to get hit

With so many foul lines, you'll think I'm a free throw

Figured it was about time for people to eat crow

You about to get out-rhymed, how could I be dethroned?

I stay on my toes like the repo, a behemoth in sheep's clothes

From the East Coast to the West, I'm the ethos and I'm the G.O.A.T

Who the best, I don't gotta say a fuckin' thing, though

'Cause MCs know

But you don't wanna hear me spit the facts

Your shit is ass like a tailbone

Or you're trapped in your cell phone

Or my chicken scratch, or my self-loathe

I don't want to fuckin' listen to you spit your raps someone else wrote

Used to get beat up by the big kids

Used to let the big kids steal my big wheel

And I wouldn't do shit but just sit still

Now money's not a big deal

I'm rich, I wipe my ass with six mill'

Big bills like a platypus

A caterpillar's comin' to get the cannabis

I'm lookin' for the smoke but you motherfuckers are scatterin'

Batterin' everything and I've had it with the inadequate

Man, I can see my dick is standin' stiff as a mannequin

And I'm bringin' the bandana back, and the fuckin' headband again

A handkerchief and I'm thinkin' of bringin' the fuckin' fingerless gloves back

And not giving a singular fuck, like fuck rap

I sound like a fuckin' millionaire

With a Derringer with a hair trigger

'Bout to bear hug a fuckin' terrier, the Ric Flair dripper

Y'all couldn't hold a candle at a prayer vigil

When I vent, they compare me to a fuckin' air duct

I'm about to bare knuckle it, nah, fuck it

I'm gonna go upside their head with a Nantucket

Abraca-fuckin'-dabra

The track is the blood, I'm attracted, I'm attackin' it

What? Dracula, fuck that shit

I'm up, back with a thud

Man, stop

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

[Chris D'Elia:]

Look what I'm plannin', plannin', I'm plannin'

To do all this while ya panickin'

And you're lookin' and starin' at mannequins

And I'm goin' to Fanagans

Tryin' to get up a plan against

All of the blana-kazana-ka-fam-bam-bannigans

While of all the bana-kazanika Hanna in a cabana

You're in a cab-? I'm in a cabana and a Janet

I'm in a cabana chantin' all this stand up banter

While you don't got the stamina, you're lackin' the stamina

You're lackin' the stamina while you're divorcin' Harrison Ford

And I'm in a Porsche on the floorboards

While I'm world tourin'

You usin' way too many napkins

Papkins, Lapkins and Chapki-

You using ChapStick and napkins while I'm bapkin'

Flappin' around like a bapkin'

Flamminababbitapannitajampkin

Dammit my can of pa

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[wrestlingisfake]

Power Struggle preview

This show airs live on NJPWworld Sunday evening at 5pm Japan time, which works out to Sunday morning at 3am Eastern Standard time.  The tricky bit is that this puts the show right around the time Americans are either turning their clocks back an hour or forgetting to do it.  So if you’re pulling an all-nighter to catch this live, do your homework first.

Hiroshi Tanahashi vs. Kota Ibushi - Ibushi scored a win over Tanahashi in the G1 Climax, so he earned this title shot for Tana's IWGP intercontinental championship.

The winner of this match is probably going to end up defending the title at Wrestle Kingdom 12 in January, so we can probably expect something to happen to set up an angle for that night.  Theoretically these two could do a draw or something to warrant a rematch, but I’m thinking it’ll be more like some guy comes out after the match to confront the winner.

I think everybody’s looking forward to a classic out of these two, although I don’t know the current shape of Tanahashi’s right bicep.  He’s gotten some really good matches out of selling attacks to his arm like he’s being flayed alive, but they’ve been tough for me to watch.  In a perfect world Tana would just take time off for some surgery, but that’s clearly not going to happen.

I’d dig Ibushi getting his day in the sun, but I’ve gotten used to him being kept out of the title picture because of his free agent status.  So if he wins that’ll be pretty cool, but in terms of picking a winner I can’t bet against Tanahashi.

Kenny Omega vs. Trent Beretta - Omega defends the IWGP United States championship.  Beretta recently switched from junor heavyweight tag matches to the heavyweight singles division, so this is a big step for him in that journey.

This will be Omega’s third title defense, after wins over Juice Robinson and Yoshi-Hashi.  Frankly, I don’t like the pattern being established of Kenny squashing undercard guys.  Instead of making the champion look strong, it makes the title feel beneath him, like putting the WWE hardcore title on the Undertaker or something.  I assume the intent is to present Omega as a Ric Flair style champion who causes lesser performers to get over in defeat, but I haven’t been convinced of Kenny’s ability to do that.

I hope Beretta gets a good showing, but it’s Kenny Omega’s world and Beretta’s just living in it.

Will Ospreay vs. Marty Scurrl - this is for Ospreay’s IWGP junior heavyweight title.  I assume these guys have fought a jillion times but I haven’t kept up on it.  So it’s kinda hard to imagine their styles gelling, because Scurrl’s deal is grounding a guy to work over his fingers, and Ospreay’s deal is magically making the other guy allow him flip around for no reason.

It feels like we’re headed for Ospreay vs. Hiromu Takahashi for the title at Wrestle Kingdom, so I’m going with Ospreay to retain.

Minoru Suzuki vs. Toru Yano - Suzuki defends the NEVER title in a “bullrope deathmatch,” whatever the hell that is.  I assume both men will be tied to each end of a rope, although I can’t imagine what additional rules will be in play.

Yano is a sneaky cheater who is easily intimidated and prefer to steal wins rather than risk getting beat up.  Suzuki is the scariest motherfucker in pro wrestling.  So on paper you’d expect this to be a squash, but Yano has an astonishingly good win-loss record against Suzuki.  In their last encounter, Yano managed to get a count-out win in a tag match, and took it upon himself to claim Suzuki’s title belt.  So Suzuki is going to be super-extra-mega-pissed, and we’re guaranteed he’ll spend the whole match no more than about ten feet away from Yano.  However, if there’s one thing going for Yano, it’s his uncanny ability to find ropes and cables and tape to literally tie up his opponent.

It would be ricockulous if Yano won the NEVER belt, but it would also be fucking hilarious, and a clever way to transition the title to some other guy without having Suzuki job to an actual ass-kicker.  On the other hand, I’m too scared of Suzuki to pick anybody him to win.  Please don’t kill me, sir.  Suzuki retains.

Kazuchika Okada & Tomohiro Ishii & Hirooki Goto & YOSHI-HASHI & Gedo vs. Tetsuya Naito & Hiromu Takahashi & EVIL & BUSHI & SANADA - Okada and Naito are going to headline Wrestle Kingdom 12, so here we go with them bringing their respective factions in for a ten-man tag team match.  I’m not expecting anything earth-shattering in this one, unless maybe they want to do some bit to set up challengers for Evil/Bushi/Sanada’s trios title.  This could go either way, although that’s mostly because it doesn’t matter.

SHO & YOH vs. Ryusuke Taguchi & ACH - This is the final match in the Super Junior Tag tournament.  Sho and Yoh are the reigning IWGP junior heavyweight tag team champions, but I haven’t seen any indication that title is at stake here.

Sho and Yoh spent most of the last two years on excursion in CMLL and ROH, but returned in October as “Roppongi 3K,” under the tutelage of former Roppongi Vice member Rocky Romero.  They defeated Taguchi and Ricochet for the tag belts in the first night back, and since Ricochet seems to have departed New Japan, Taguchi has recruited ACH to form a new team, “Super 69.”

A win for Taguchi and ACH would set up a rematch for Wrestle Kingdom, so that makes sense.  But I’m leaning towards Roppongi 3K winning to set up a challenge from the Young Bucks, which would be a bigger match for Wrestle Kingdom.

Cody Rhodes & Chase Owens & Yujiro Takahashi vs. Togi Makabe & Satoshi Kojima & HIroyoshi Tenzan - Cody leads a couple of the Bullet Club B-team guys in a six-man tag match against three of the old-timers.  Pretty sure this is just a way to get Cody on the show and give him a win.

Zack Sabre Jr. & Taichi & TAKA Michinoku & El Desperado & Yoshinobu Kanemaru vs. KUSHIDA & Juice Robinson & Jushin Thunder Liger & Tiger Mask & Hirai Kawato - Taichi/Taka, Despy/Kanemaru, Tiger/Liger, and Kushida/Kawato were all tandems in the Super Junior Tag tournament.  Sabre and Juice are two of the rising stars in the heavyweight division, but they’ve got a lot of rising left to go.  I figure Sabre’s team will provide the usual Suzuki-gun shenanigans, although those shenanigans aren’t nearly as captivating when Suzuki himself isn’t involved.  I pick Sabre’s team to win.

Nick Jackson & Matt Jackson vs. Titan & Dragon Lee - Titan and Dragon Lee came in from CMLL for the Super Junior Tag tournament, and they’re finishing up the tour with a match against the Young Bucks.  I can’t imagine the Bucks are flying in for this one show just to lose, so you know the drill.

David Finaly vs. Katsuya Kitamura - This is for the pre-show.  Technically, Kitamura is a “young boy” and Finlay “graduated” from that last year.  But Finlay is still just a curtain jerker, while Kitamura is roided up and getting crazy over as a monster.  In WWE they’d have already rushed Kitamura into an undefeated streak, but New Japan is more disciplined than that.  So even though it’ll look like Paul Roma pinning the Ultimate Warrior, I expect Finlay to get the win.