#and the whole reason we're reblogging and making memes and making fun of the reactions of destiel fans is because it's a good time

[kindahoping4forever]

This year I’ve spent more time with all of you than I have with my own family. This fandom isn’t always easy, this website isn’t always functional and this year was impossibly difficult for reasons both global and so personal I don’t want to get into. Under the cut, there are some people I want to individually mention but I know sometimes these posts are basically the equivalent of reading someone else’s yearbook messages so I wanted to give a blanket thank you up front. If you’re reading this, it doesn’t matter if we’ve talked or not, if you are on my blog, you made this year bearable for me. You helped this place feel like home, you helped me feel like I had support and as trivial as this whole thing is, you helped me feel like I had purpose in a year where I literally sat alone in my bedroom all day everyday. Yes, I wish 2020 had been different and god I hope 2021 is better but regardless of all that, I know I have a place here and that gives me more comfort than I could ever put into words (and by now, y’all know I love words). If you’re reading this, thank you.

To my anons, whether you were a regular (SAB and my 🍒 friend, I hope you’re well) or a just a passerby, whether you address me as Tater Tot, Main Crystal, Historian or an all caps MA’AM, whether you’re screaming at me about a fic, something Ash just posted or an interview from 3 years ago that you only have a vague recollection of but need to discuss - I’ve had an immeasurable amount of fun with you. Thank you for wanting to talk to me.

To the regulars in my inbox like @ivebeenasleepsolong , @fedorable-killjoys , @ashtcnirwin, @iknowyouthinkimbulletproof @roarformeprettylion @spicycal @ashtonlftv and many others (some it won’t let me tag and some I haven’t seen around in a minute and the Tumblr folder in my email is only scrolling back so far on mobile smh) - I always appreciate seeing a familiar face (? you know what I mean lol) in my notifications and again, thank you for wanting to talk to me.

In that regard, even if we haven’t talked and you just like or reblog posts, I do notice the people who are consistently popping up in my notifications and appreciate your presence. I won’t shout you out in case you’re lurking on purpose (lol) but I just wanted to mention I value you in our little community.

@sadistmichael @sexgodashton @irwinkitten @suchalonelysunflower @mymindwide @justhereforcalum @oldmes @loveroflrh You’ve all been so generous and encouraging when it comes to my writing and I genuinely cherish every piece of feedback you’ve given me. 

Anyone who has read or supporting any of my fics this year, I can’t thank you enough. Before this year, I’d never publicly shared anything I’d written nor did I plan to. I haven’t worked since March and writing is now how I fill my days, I can’t imagine what I’d be doing without it so thank you for indulging me, encouraging me and occasionally screaming with me. 

@wastethen8 We talk more on other socials than we do here now lol. I'm always so happy to hear from you whether it's about something fandom related we're excited about, a tiktok trend (😁), a song you're learning (💙) or a silly story about your life. Sorry for occasionally ghosting you when I forget to check my snaps lmao. Love you!

@ashtonangst Our meals this year? Sometimes few and far between but ma'am we got fed. I'm so glad to be riding in the superior lane with you. 😌

@notinthesameguey Whether it’s another broke!sos comment, a simple “come get your mans” or something equally entertaining, I adore seeing you in my inbox. (Not to mention the reaction memes omg)

@rebelwith0utacause From discussing 2017!sos to tattoo/pierced!sos to dream cover songs to your contributions to the “Daddy but...” list, any day you grace my inbox is a fine one, Ana. (I still regularly think about that broke!sos essay you sent in lmao)

@ashtonsunshine There’s really only one way I can properly convey my love for you. 

Thank you for your presence in my life. (Yes I am saying this to both the picture and to you 😂💙)

@karajaynetoday If we’re being honest (like pizza), we have been through so much in such a short span of time lmao. Thank you for your friendship, your kind heart and the Aussie snacks. Here’s to being #GirlBosses in 2021. 😌

To my beloved clowns @cashtonasfuck, @pxrxmoore, @feliznavidaddycal Big sigh. Cream Soda. Collarbones. Paying for parking. Auralism. The Cologne Incident. Sprinkle Gate. Water bottles. The Hat Shelf. ****** ****. Our chaos? Unmatched (except perhaps by own Clown King himself). Can you believe there was a time when we thought Ash planting A GARDEN was going to be the most exciting gift he’d give us this year? AND THEN HE MADE AN ENTIRE ALBUM. This year has been unreal in ways both good and bad and I feel like the luckiest clown in the world that I got to experience it with you all. Full send on those vibes, my friends.

@cal-puddies I’m sure everyone on this website is sick of me talking about how much I love you (you might be too, who knows lmao). I’ll keep it brief since I’m sure I’ll tell you at least 5 other times tonight how much you mean to me. I am only making it out of 2020 in one piece because of you. The writing, the clowning, the bad movies, those have all sustained me this year but it’s the knowledge that I have someone unequivocally on my side, that I can talk to about anything at any time that gets me out of bed in the morning (and on the days when I simply can’t get out of bed, you tell me that’s ok and I am also immeasurably grateful for that). I am a better writer from working with you, I am a better person for knowing you. There’s no one I’d rather live in a Cashton AU with, plan to buy an overly ambitious farm with or otter-bond myself to as we float into the unknown waters of 2021. You’re the best bestie.