#and the way maría was affected after… well

[rystiel]

[pers1st]

you open yours

pt 2 of when every door closes

pairing: leah williamson x reader

notes: mentions of ed, j*rge vilda, lots of angst

Settling into Arsenal again was difficult, but it couldn’t have been more difficult than leaving, once more, for international break. The World Cup qualifiers were coming up quickly, and despite the fact that it felt as though you still hadn’t dealt with your early out in the Euros, there was no time to dwell on the past as Jorge Vilda made sure every player knew the gravity of the next few matches. With more and more players from Barcelona filling into the squad, you were subconsciously worried for your position. It was no secret that Barça was dominating European football, but somehow, for the qualifiers, you kept your head and spent every last second of every match on the pitch, even when the physios concluded you were very close to tearing your hamstring, much to the dismay of your teammates. It wasn’t that they didn’t want you to play- you had quickly proven to be a valuable part of the team, not quite the brick wall Mapi was, but an agile defender that solidified every win with perfectly-timed tackles and a good oversight of the play.

It was rather the fact that you so desperately needed a break, and everyone saw it but you. Every step you took on the pitch hurt, and if it wasn’t for María telling you to cut back on the painkillers, you possibly wouldn’t have even noticed if you’d torn your hamstring fully. You had, in addition, settled back into your club well enough to rely on nutritional energy yet again, with the help of your girlfriend, your teammates and the club’s psychologist, but all of that went to waste the second you saw Jorge Vilda before boarding the bus towards the team’s camp.

You weren’t done yet- Leah had told you as much after the Euros. You weren’t where you wanted to be, not with the Spanish national team, at least. A World Cup was the least you could achieve to compensate for everything you were going through, but during the camp, you and many other girls realized that there was a lot more you should, or well, a lot more you had to reach for.

So, to you, it wasn’t surprising when you came home with an open letter to the RFEF and a vision of how maybe, one day, playing for your country wouldn’t be your nightmare.

“Are you sure, love? I mean, aren't there like, really bad consequences?”, Leah asked confusedly, her hands around yours as you sat on the couch, you still wearing the same sweats you had worn on the plane.

You nodded, wandering back to the monologue Mapi had held about all of the possible outcomes of what you were about to do. Her voice had been hushed as she explained the ban you could face, which would affect all of your teammates, except Ona and Lucía, more than you. Not playing in the Spanish league wouldn’t hurt you as much, so long as Arsenal stayed your home, which you intended it to. Not playing for the Spanish national team- well, you trusted Alexia when she said that no one would face a ban, and you didn’t particularly want to think about what would happen if she was wrong. You were possibly throwing your national career away, and your stomach turned at the thought. But either way, you knew that playing in the environment that had been created recently, you would rot away anyways.

“I don’t know. Maybe. But what can be worse than this?”, you chuckled bitterly. Knowing well how dangerous it had been, truthfully, to play all those minutes, you knew that you would stay on the bench for a significant amount of time to recover, but you also knew that no matter what you, or your hamstring did, you would be called up for the next camp.

You couldn’t risk your career, not while you were this young. And if everything went according to Irene’s, Mapi’s and Alexia’s plan, you wouldn’t have to.

“If you’re sure, I am, too. And no matter what happens, I will support you. You know that, right?”, Leah asked, almost desperate to reassure you, but all you could do was nod absent-mindedly.

You were different, this time. Different from how you’d been after the Euros, but your girlfriend didn’t dare to ask what had happened for you to be this- reserved, almost. As if you still didn’t dare to speak, guarding your tongue harshly as if your manager was just around the corner, ready to jump at you for whatever it was you couldn’t say.

The night you spent tossing and turning didn't guarantee much sleep, but you were still surprised that your absence had woken Leah up, as she slung her arms around your shoulders slowly in her dark flat, the only light illuminating the kitchen from the little nightlight near the coffee pot. 

“Come back to bed”, your girlfriend mumbled, voice still thick with sleep, pressing a kiss to the top of your head. Your stomach warmed slightly at the gesture, but you were too encapsulated in your phone to really react to her presence, not letting her pull you back into false comfort. Nothing of what was about to happen, in merely four hours, would be comfortable. 

“Can’t sleep”, you gave back, your fingers tapping away on your screen as you replied to Ona’s message, who seemed to sleep as little as you did.

You knew that Leah didn’t know Spanish, and you knew that she was still staring at your screen, noticing how your phone lit up once more with a text that even you could barely detangle. Taking a deep breath, you clicked the call button right next to Ona’s contact, barely noticing how Leah detached herself from you to start a pot of coffee.

Ona’s words were messy, and you were barely able to understand anything besides the gut-wrenching fear that filled your apartment, all of a sudden. Her Catalonian accent was thick, and you knew that her emotion was taking over her, more so than it was affecting you. You had, sort of, gone numb.

“Ona, va a estar bien. No te preocupes”, you tried to calm your friend, who you could tell was biting back tears.

“Ale said it’ll be okay. Do you trust her?”, you asked as you didn’t receive an answer.

“Sí”, Ona mumbled, to which you nodded, forgetting the fact that she couldn’t see you.

“Then it’ll be okay. What are they going to do? Ban sixteen of their best players?”

“No sé. Maybe they are going to ban just me”, she huffed.

“No, Ona. That won’t happen”, you calmed her yet again, and stupidly enough, you actually believed yourself. 

The open letter went online while you were at training, which you were quite grateful for. None of your teammates had a clue, except for Leah, of what was about to happen, although they could all tell something needed to happen.

In the short twelve days the team hadn’t seen each other, you had lost a noticeable amount of weight, and hadn’t touched your breakfast, blaming your lack of appetite on the lack of sleep you had gotten. You stuck to Leah’s side like glue, more so than you usually did. And by the time the team was ready to step onto the field for the first training session of the year, you mumbled an excuse to leave the changing room into the wrong direction, and headed to the physio room without looking back.

After sending Jonas a text in the early morning, somewhere between your phone call with Ona and Leah dragging you back into bed, the physios were very well aware of your hamstring issue, and spent a lot of time analyzing your muscles and how bad exactly your injury was. It seemed as though it was quite bad, as most of the treatment was silent, and none of the physios reacted to how you flinched every time any of them even reached out to touch you, but you hoped they wrote it off as a mere reaction of you being in pain. You didn’t know if they could handle the truth. Didn’t know if you could handle the truth. 

Still, the events of the day couldn’t take your mind off the fact that your phone was likely exploding with notifications as the public and the RFEF reacted to your protest. Sixteen players were withdrawing. Sixteen. You didn’t believe Alexia, although she had promised there would be no serious, no negative

consequences.

And you were right not to do so.

Leah picked you up from the medical room, in which you remained long after the treatment, scrolling through twitter and multiple Spanish news outlets in hopes to absorb every single comment, every single word in reaction to your letter. 

“Hey, you”, she smiled softly as she found you lying on the bench, phone in your hands as it always seemed to be, allowing for it to drop onto your chest as you smiled back at her.

“Hey”, you mumbled back.

“How bad is it?”, she asked, and you didn’t know whether it was her calf or everything else she was responding to.

“Grade two tear. Eight weeks, at least. They don’t want to risk anything.”

The fact that your hamstring actually was a grade two tear should’ve surprised you more than it had, but at this point, you didn’t put it past the Spanish medical team to actually hide the information of your injury from you. You didn’t put it past Jorge to let you play on an injury that potentially worsened with every step you took.

“I’m sorry, love”, Leah sighed, gently moving closer to you.

“It’s okay. Home?”, you asked, hesitant to accept any kind of gentleness from your girlfriend. At this point, you weren’t sure whether you deserved it or not. That’s how far Jorge had gotten into your head.

“Yeah, yeah. Let’s go”, Leah smiled as she stuck out her hand for you to take, and you reluctantly accepted it, the warmth being unfamiliar to you.

It took a few days for the RFEF to formally respond to your protest, and in the meantime, you drove your girlfriend insane. She had no way of reaching you, although she tried her hardest. Holding you as she slept, only for you to slip out of her arms once you knew she was lulled in sleep. Getting up in the morning without you just to find you in the kitchen, drinking coffee and being glued to your phone as you over analyzed every detail that was revealed to the public. By the time Arsenal’s first match after the

international break came around, she was truly at her wit’s end.

“I don’t know what to do anymore. She won’t talk to me, won’t tell me what’s going on, it’s just- I really don’t know”, she tried explaining to Kim, who had, in the past few days, begun catching a glimpse of just how bad of a situation you were in. It was clear as day to the whole team that you were struggling again, but the others quickly grew used to your reserved nature, though it was so unlike you.

“What can we do to help?”, Wally asked, gently crouching down in front of your girlfriend and rubbing a circle over her knee comfortingly, her face as somber as Kim’s.

“I don’t know. I tried giving her space, but I’m not really sure it’s helping. It’s like she’s just drifting away”, Leah cried, gently wiping a tear from her cheek. She needed to be strong, now. For you. Crying would be no use.

“She’ll come back to you. Wait for the RFEF’s response, and see how she is afterwards. Maybe she just needs to reach a breaking point”, Kim tried to reassure her vice-captain, but the only reason Leah nodded was because she didn’t have a better idea, although she didn’t like the idea of waiting for you to crumble completely and being there to pick up the broken pieces. It proved, though, that this was exactly what you needed.

The official response of the RFEF came while you were sitting in the cafeteria, slowly picking apart the food Leah had gotten for you as an ice-wrap around your thigh forbade you from walking too much. Your phone lit up with a message from Alexia, and at once, you dropped your fork, instead focusing on the little device in front of you.

¿Has visto?

No, you hadn’t seen. Not yet, anyways, but at the notification, you reached for your phone, quickly opening the internet to search for an article reporting on the matter. It didn’t take long to find, and your stomach turned at the sight your eyes met.

El futbolista Y/N Y/L/N le prohíbe jugar al fútbol por España.

Your breath caught in your throat as you read the words over and over again, your vision blurring until the letters tumbled in front of your eyes, spinning in circles as you drowned out the world around you. You weren’t aware of how Leah, Kim and Wally were glancing up at you, didn’t register how Leah’s hand

caressed your knee as she noticed your breath quickening, didn’t hear the words of your teammates surrounding you, asking what was going on, as you kept skimming the article, desperate to know more.

You were the only player out of the sixteen to be banned. It was because you had just begun playing, had been cared for during your injury and were disrespecting your country for diminishing their efforts. If you’d had any air to, you would’ve laughed. But you didn’t have any. Leah’s eyebrows furrowed as she caught a glimpse of your screen, moments before you rose from your seat, clenching your teeth in pain as you got up and left the cafeteria, leaving behind a group of confused women, none of whom dared to find you, right now. None except for Leah. She was on her feet within seconds, calling after you to slow down as she could barely keep up with your strides. You didn’t care about the fact that you bumped into Jonas, almost making him tumble over as you were focused on your phone, didn’t hear how he called after you, didn’t hear how he called after Leah. You simply kept walking and walking until you found the media room, which you knew would be empty right now, and slipped through the door, letting yourself slide down the wall.

“Love? Hey, talk to me! What’s going on?”, your girlfriend’s voice rang through from what felt like a thousand miles away. You felt as though you were under water, waves washing over you and trapping you in your head. You couldn’t answer, couldn’t force any words out of your mouth as you, instead, choked on a sob.

Within seconds, you felt arms around you, pulling you into your girlfriend’s chest as you sobbed, struggling to breathe.

“I’m out. Leah, they banned me”, you cried out, gripping fists of her shirt as you desperately tried to fight the way your head seemed to spin. 

Leah’s soothing words fell on deaf ears as the noise around you was quickly becoming far too much, and you fell into your own little word, sobbing into her shoulder as she held you tightly. It felt like hours until you calmed down, but slowly, your breaths began to even and as you drew away from your girlfriend, your lips twitched upwards at the realization that she was still there.

“Hey, baby. You’re back with me?”

You nodded at that, slowly letting go of her shirt as you leaned your head back against the wall. It was pounding, as though knives were flying through your scalp, but you didn’t have the energy to complain.

“This isn’t forever, love. We’re gonna keep pressuring them, Alexia is gonna keep pressuring them, and one day they’ll fire Vilda and you’ll be back. Okay? I promise, it’s going to be okay”, she spoke, hands landing on your cheeks as she tugged your face towards hers. 

“And no matter what happens, I’ll be with you, for every step of the way. I won’t leave you, okay?”

“I can’t do this on my own”, you mumbled, the weight of the situation hitting you, though less quickly, more deeply now that you knew you’d need to face it.

“You don’t have to. I’m behind you, and so is everyone else. You don’t have to do anything on your own, my love”, Leah promised, bringing your head into the crook of her neck once again as she closed her arms around your fragile frame.

Leah’s words quickly came true, as you realized that each and every one of your teammates, whether it was from Arsenal or Spain, voiced their support for you. Whether it was Jonas in a press conference, Alexia via an Instagram post or Ona via countless text messages and insisting on coming to London to see you. Slowly but surely, you recovered from your injury and found your footing again, suddenly enjoying the time you got to spend with your or Leah’s family whenever she was gone for international duty. The World Cup was a totally different story, as you flew to Australia with Leah to watch every one of the Lionesses matches, but none of your own nation. You skipped the final as well, not able to let yourself daydream about being on the pitch again. Though you were happy for Ona, Alexia and your other friends, you couldn’t help the anxiety over the fact that Spain was just as good of a team without you, Mapi, Pina and Patri.

And although you were still anxious, you reluctantly accepted when the RFEF lifted their ban after Jorge’s sacking, proposing for you to wear your nation’s colors another time. 

[fcaruana]

Hiii just wondering if you could please translate this interview Maria gave about Franco? https://youtu.be/AqMKHpuQHLw?si=l9pbKdUVwM52dMuY

Sure, here it is! I skipped a few less interesting parts. For those who don't know, María is one of his 2 managers.

About the 2025 rumors: "All those rumors circulating about Franco signing for a seat are 100% not true. There isn't anything signed. I don't know if you've seen Jamie's [Franco's second manager] tweet saying 'Thanks for the info [about Franco confirmed at Red Bull] how strange, you found out before I did!'. For now Franco is a Williams driver, we have 3 races left with them and at the moment we're in Williams. James himself said he's negotiating with other teams, it's a discussion between teams that I can't say much because I don't know. There is a wish for Franco to stay in F1 in 2025, from so many people: his fans, us, the F1 itself would love for him to continue, Williams themselves are pushing to make it possible. If that wish becomes a reality we'll announce it when it happens for sure. For now, there is not any signed contract."

"I admire Franco so much. The way he's been dealing with the pressure and exigency of F1 is admirable. I was sure it was going to be like this, but he's still 21 years old, working with the mindset of a much older person. The physical and emotional effort he's putting in is impressive."

About how they take much more care of Franco now: "In F1, the only difference is that the exposure is many times higher. Now Jamie and I pay much more attention to the way this is affecting him, how he deals with this exposure and everything that's been happening to him. In that sense, the good and bad things have intensified a lot. So we are keeping an eye on him almost every second, both on and off the track."

About Franco meeting fans and signing their stuff even after Sunday's race: "That's just his nature. We spent the entire weekend hearing crazy stories of people who traveled to Brazil from Argentina by motorbike, people who didn't even have a ticket for the race, people getting wet in the rain. And he was incredibly moved, he felt that very intensively, saying 'what a wonderful thing is happening to me, look at all those people!'. From the paddock we all could constantly hear their chants, songs and screams, and everyone else was like 'what is going on?! what is this?!'. That is super positive for Franco, he couldn't stop coming out, he just wanted to go out and greet them. Obviously by the look of his face, his mood, he wasn't very excited at that moment, but he didn't want to stop giving back just a little bit of their constant support. He's still the same person [as before F1]. After the race he went out with that [sad] face, because he thought 'all those poor people, coming all the way to Brazil and look at what happened'. He felt like he had to do it for them, saying it's for all these people that he has to do well."

"We would've loved to be at the banderazo. Picture this: before leaving we even had to buy an extra suitcase just for all the gifts Franco received this weekend. It's been incredible."

About the impact of Franco's fans on F1: "I don't know if you've seen it, but now the Instagram account of F1 has been posting in Spanish (targeted to hispanic countries). I don't remember the F1 ever making such an amount of posts in Spanish before. This means that the F1 is embracing with gratefulness this community, these new argentinian fans and everyone Franco's bringing in."

About Brazil GP: "It was tough, it started tough and it ended tough. Considering it was an unknown track for him, his first time there, the tricky rain conditions we had, if I go back to all the sessions I think Franco was quite fast, even though he couldn't try the inters until the race because of his crash in quali. So I'm happy with the work he's done, considering he's a rookie, it was his 6th race, the wet unknown track, he did a good job. At the end there was too much water, in the straight there were two big rivers. Unfortunately he aquaplaned in one of them and lost the car, there was nothing else he could do. It can happen to you, like it happened to him and many others, or it can't. So it happened, the conditions weren't good and there isn't anything to throw in his face by my part."

About his relationship with his race engineer and their radio in Brazil: "It's always like this, maybe Franco has an opinion and Gaëtan has another, sometimes they agree but the most important part is that they win and lose together. Franco and Gaëtan will win and lose together, in the good and bad times. We'll never know what would've happened if they had listened to Franco [about him repeatedly asking for wet tyres before his crash]. The point is that him and Franco have a great connection, he trusts a lot in his criteria and this hasn't changed at all. They're always together in the simulator, now going for Vegas and thinking about the future."

About Franco feeling bad for the mechanics after his crash: "He wanted to be there helping in any way he could. I don't know what other drivers do but Franco is very affectionate with all the members of his team and greets them every morning, says goodbye to everyone every night, he has a special connection with them. His biggest worry was the effort they had to put to fix his car so he was constantly coming in and out of the garage, asking if he could help with anything, supporting them and thanking them."

About his relationship with Alex and the overall climate in Williams: "The best thing is that it's like a small family. It's our first F1 team so we can't really compare, but it feels good to work there, it doesn't feel like you're in F1 and feels like we're still in MP [F2]. Everyone is lovely and it's a pretty family-like climate."

[xas24]

santi having a little crush on a girl at school & asking pedri for advice and he tells her what he did to get y/n 🫶🏼

my advice to you.. ~ pedri

summary: santiago has a little crush so pedri gives him some advice.

when pedri drove y/n over to santiago’s school to pick him up one day, the flustered little look on the boys face didn’t go unnoticed by pedri. whilst y/n was on her phone, he had seen the little interaction santiago had with the another girl by the school entrance.

he watched, smirking slightly, as santiago and the little girl smiled at eachother as a way to bid eachother goodbye before he started walking towards pedri’s car.

obviously, since y/n was sat right next to him, he chose not to say anything, not wanting to embarrass santiago infront of his sister. he decided he’ll ask him when y/n is out of the car for a few minutes, which is why he started driving towards one of her favourite take out places.

y/n smiled at santi and started asking him about how his day was, what he did in his lessons, what he did at lunch, and his answer was clearly expected: played football.

“of course you did.” y/n laughed, turning forward again.

“did you win?” pedri sneakily asked, looking at him through the rearview mirror. santi immediately started cheering, spitting out profanities of “ofcourse we did!” “there was only 3 of us against 4!” “the other guys were too slow.”

y/n and pedri listened as they always did, chuckling here and there as santiago started another one of his little anecdotes about something that happened at school.

after a few minutes of silence, y/n noticed the different route they were taking home. she looked at pedri confused, “adónde vamos?” (where are we going?)

“i thought that since it’s a friday, we could all have some take out together.” pedri replied. he grabbed her hand, intertwining their fingers and pulling them onto his lap.

he started to rub his thumb against hers gently, knowing she wouldn’t agree but still attempting to endear her in some way. y/n was about to protest against it before pedri brought their joined hands up to his lips to kiss her soft skin.

whatever words she had in her mouth died down as she watched his affection, knowing he had won.

“fine, okay.” she sighed, relaxing in her seat and tightening her hand in his.

they pulled up to the store in no time, but the long line at the drive-thru did not go unnoticed by both of them. pedri groaned, even though he knew he wouldn’t go to the drive-thru anyway, and started pulling into one of the free parking spaces.

he turned the car off and turned to his girlfriend. his lips were pulled into a little pout and his eyes intently stared at her, and y/n knew that look all too well.

“you know our orders, bebé.”

y/n looked at him with raised brows, her look one of seriousness. she stared at him for a few seconds longer before she couldn’t help but chuckle.

“fine, i’ll go in. stay here, i’ll be quick.”

“thank you, y/n!!” santi cheered from the back and y/n sent him a little playful shake of her head.

she grabbed her bag and opened the door before pedri stopped her. “wait, here. take my card.”

“no, pepi, it’s okay. it’s on me.”

“no, no, por favor. take it. on me.” he insisted, passing her his card.

“bebé-”

“don’t ‘bebé’ me. take it, y/n.” she sighed and shook her head with a chuckle. she took the card and closed the door not before giving him a little look as if to say ‘you didn’t have to’. pedri just shrugged his shoulder and blew her a kiss.

when he saw that she walked off, he instantly turned around in his seat to face the kid in the back.

“santi.”

“sí, pedri?”

“we need to talk.”

“about?” he shot the older boy a confused look.

“about you and that girl.”

“qué?”

“the girl you were talking to outside the gate, just now.” he watched as santiago’s reaction turned to one of realisation and he instantly smiled.

“oh, her name is maría.”

“that’s a pretty name.” santi nodded in agreement.

“is she your friend?” santi nodded again.

“what’s she like?”

“she’s so nice! she even shared some of her food with me at lunchtime and she even wanted to watch me play football!” pedri watched the happy look on santis face when talking about this new friend of his and he couldn’t help but chuckle a little.

“do you like her?”

“sííí! she’s very nice and pretty as well.” the ten year old smiled.

“do you have a little crush on her?” pedri asked cheekily. he had a big smile on his face, trying to test the waters of what his answer would be.

“no..” santi looked away and pedri started laughing out loud at his little blushed expression.

“ay, santi. it’s okay if you do. no need to be embarrassed.” the boy looked at pedri again and he sighed a little.

“pedri you can’t tell y/n!!”

“i won’t! i won’t, i promise.”

“okay.. maybe i have a little crush on her.” he said lowly.

“lo siento, no escuché lo que dijiste..” (sorry, i didn’t hear what you said..) pedri teased him.

“¡pedri! no me hagas repetirlo.” (pedri! don’t make me repeat it!) he hid his blushing face in his hands.

“no no, okay. lo siento.” he tried to hold in his laugh as he reached forward to pull his hands away from his face.

“no need to be embarrassed! i had a crush on your sister once too.”

“you don’t have a crush on y/n anymore?” santiago asked, brows furrowed in confusion and instant worry.

“no, because now she is my girlfriend.”

“but you don’t like her anymore? that’s what a crush is, isn’t it, pedri?” santiago looked even more confused and pedri just thought of how innocent this little boy really is.

he warmly smiled at him, “y/n will be my forever crush because i love her. i will always like her but i love her too. sigues confundido, santi?” (are you still confused?)

“comprendo.” (i understand.)

pedri nodded, “i had a crush on her when i saw her at one of my matches. i thought she was so beautiful and i really wanted to talk to her. so i went up to her at the end of the match and asked for her name and her number and then we started talking.”

santi listened along carefully. “i remember when you came to my house for the first time, pedri!”

the older boy laughed. “sí, i remember it too. you cried so much we all got worried!” santiago laughed in response.

“y/n looks so happy when she is with you.”

“sí, bueno, i am always happy with her too. it’s because she loves me and i love her. we both had crushes on eachother and then when we started talking, we wanted to not have crushes and to make it into an actual relationship.”

“that was so long ago!”

“jajaja, sí, fue hace casi dos años.” (yes, it was almost two years ago.)

“what should i say to maría?”

“you are still very young, santi, but i think you should make a very nice friendship with maría. as you grow older, you will start to realise more about your feelings.” he raised his brows at him, and santi nodded.

“but for now, be a good little gentleman! be nice to her, stick up for her, be a good friend to her. she will start to like you too.”

“really?”

“sí, build a good friendship with her just like me and y/n. she is my girlfriend but she is also my bestfriend. whenever i want to talk or i need some support, i go to my bestfriend.”

“will you be her husband too, pedri?” santiago asked with a little smile on his face and pedri immediately started blushing a little.

“just between me and you, santi, i hope i am her husband one day.” he laughed.

“me too!! you will be my actual big brother!”

“one day. now, let’s quiet down because i see your sister coming.” he gestured him to be quiet with a finger to his lips and santi mirrored his actions with a giggle.

just then, y/n opened the door and got in with two bags full of food. santiago cheered to himself as she placed the bags on the seat next to him in the back.

“here’s your card.” she handed pedri his card back and he looked at her as if asking her if she used it.

“nope, i told you it’s on me.”

“y/n..”

“shhh.” she cupped his cheek, leaning forward and pressing her lips to his other cheek. she kissed him briefly before leaning back, “i’m starving, let’s go home.”

[disventurecamptakes]

Welcome back Mod Jake ! :>

If you don’t mind answering: How do you feel about the current remaining contestants (as of Episode 15)?

Hi anon, thank you! These might not be thought out super well but here are my basic takes:

Jake: The blorbo from my show! I feel like the build up to Jake’s character arc was dragged out in the first 12 episodes or so, but for the last three I’ve really enjoyed him— Tom was really holding him back clearly. His friendship with Aiden one of the highlights of the season for me. It’s nice to see him become more honest and emotionally mature and happy after everything he’s been through. If he doesn’t make the finale I’m going to sob.

Ally: Hot take but I like antagonist/morally gray Ally for the most part. The idea of a character who is so online that they become too insecure to function, who ends up pushing people away and becoming hated in their quest to be loved, is really interesting. And frankly sometimes characters have to become worse before they get better. However, within the context of the show’s pattern of either having the female characters work as support for the male protagonists or villainizing independent female characters, I do see why people find it frustrating.

Grett: Grett’s another character who had some weird build up (up until episode 13 she just felt like “Yul’s poor sad meow meow girlfriend” to me tbh, I felt like she wasn’t doing much) but I do like what they’ve done with her in the last few episodes. She’s clearly been through a lot of hardship and it’s nice to see a character come out on top of that. I also loved her friendship with Gabby, it was really cute and I wish it would’ve lasted a little longer, it’s nice to show Grett reconciling with her past by improving for the future and treating the person she was the worst to with kindness, as opposed to Yul who was terrible to her and left even worse. I would’ve written her a little differently but she still deserves to win imo. Also she slays always.

Riya: What did they do to my girl?? I loved Riya’s arc in season two, I thought she and Ellie had two of the best villain arcs in the series and I thought Riya was one of the best season two characters. But they really flushed that down the drain by making her comically evil and forgetting her motive. In season two Riya was a villain but she was sympathetic; she gradually lost sight of her morals in a quest for affection and fame, alienating her closest friend (Rosa María) and ultimately putting herself in mortal danger, which caused her to somewhat see the error of her ways. In the beginning of season three I think they tried to carry this over, showing her inner conflict in earlier episodes like episode 3. But by episode 14 they’d just…totally lost what made Riya human— a desire to fit in to what other people think of her (whether that be movie star or villain), close relationships with Connor and Alec, guilt, a sympathetic past, everything that happened in the season two finale— now she’s just evil because she’s evil, full stop. It’s really disappointing, because having her try too hard to lean into her villain persona and ultimately snapping out of it would’ve been so much more interesting, and I feel like if that’s what they plan to do later then they’re building up to it terribly tbh.

Connor: I really liked Connor in episodes 1-7, I thought he was a good straight-man and foil to Riya and Alec, I thought he was just pleasant and I liked seeing his growth from season two to now. But these last few episodes have simultaneously made him very unlikable while also making him essentially the main character, for some reason. The nepo baby plotline wasn’t built up to at all and it really undermines the successful businessman thing he had going, which made him feel more mature and intelligent; plus making him a union buster on top of that is just poor taste, like wtf. Having Jake as his right hand makes Jake more likable but it just makes Connor seem pathetic having this dude constantly go “nooo Connor pull it together remember that speech you gave us? really cool”. Like yeah Connor rallying the heroes together that one time was good, a little corny but ultimately good for the plot, but other than that all he does is be passive aggressive (or just aggressive) with Riya and Alec and be sad. Also making his feelings for Riya just disappear?? What?? He was in love with her, they understood each other in a way that no one else did in season two, his love for her humanized him a lot and vice versa with Riya’s feelings for him. Why remove that entirely? Sorry if I’m being harsh but I’m honestly really disappointed in how Connor’s being handled, he and Riya and Alec were a highlight of the early episodes and now they’ve been reduced to like the TD love triangle 2.0. But like, fanon love triangle, where Courtney is ridiculously evil for some reason and Gwuncan are just poor sad babies who did nothing wrong. Also if Connor makes the finale I’m going to be so annoyed. He doesn’t need three million dollars, he’s already rich.

Alec: Alec has gone from one of the most calculating and clever villains in the show’s history to a groveling little baby man and I don’t like it. On one hand I do like the idea of Alec growing a conscience after all he’s done to manipulate the game, and I do think it would be cute if that came from his relationships with Riya and Connor. But on the other, he’s become too pathetic imo. Alec’s defining traits are his intelligence, apathetic tendencies, and level-headed demeanor, and they’re really stripping that all back to make the audience sympathize with him when we already could’ve done that easily based on what’s already there?? The Riyalec kiss scene was really good at this; it showed us Alec’s and Riya’s deepest insecurities and regrets, then showed us the two understanding each other and finding comfort in that. Shipping aside, I genuinely think maintaining a positive relationship between them, friendly or romantic, would make them both feel more human while also allowing them to both remain as antagonists because they both would enable each other. They just took all the edge away from his character for like, mid yaoi crumbs. The way Riya is written vs how Connor & Alec are written actually feels reminiscent of how some m/m fics will demonize the fuck out of a character’s girlfriend or female friend or etc to prop up the male characters as sweet angels who’ve done nothing wrong, if I’m being honest.

Overall, I loved Aleconniya until episode 14 but I just want all three of them gone at this point because their writing is really far off from their original characterizations and it’s overall just not very good. But I do enjoy Jake, Grett, and Ally for the most part and hope they make the finale. Sorry this got kinda long, thank you for the question anon!

[fatehbaz]

To pursue poetry, I left Cebu a number of times, set out to literary spaces, moved to Manila, moved to New York; after each time, I would return to Cebu, the province where I was born and where I grew up in, which also happens to be the Philippines’ cultural and economic center in the Visayas region. Living in one of the many islands in an archipelagic country with more than a hundred languages, there is always a distinct sense of leaving a center and of reaching another every time I travel, such that the country’s capital Manila is not only a geographically different space but also a linguistically and socially different world as New York, too, being in a country an entire hemisphere and ocean away, is another world. In these worlds that are not the world I first learned to inhabit, I was as an outsider constructed in ways such as being assumed to be a cisgender woman who is heterosexual and fluent in Cebuano, and also one who would write, perhaps with nostalgia for belongingness, about my hometown and the ethos of my Visayan peoples. [...]

For although I recognized I may be from another “world” I found that, nevertheless, I felt a sense of affinity almost akin to belongingness in these spaces and places that were different and away – perhaps, precisely because they were different and away – from the actual place of my origin conventionally perceived as my home. This is not to mean the inverse that I am not at home in Cebu is also true; rather, that my cognition of being at home in a world and my sensibility of affinities have grown expansive by the lived pluralities of my identities.

By “world” I mean something modified from how María Lugones thought of it as one that is inhabited by actual people whether it be a few, as in a fraction of a society, a particular society in itself or even larger to include several peoples within the realm of animating principles. A world, to my sense, also includes an affective dimension in relation to a kind of durational and geographical-spatial zone that ���homes” such world and the individuals inhabiting this world. In this way, a world may be thought as a relational, rhizomatic center of affect. It can be created temporally such as when individuals are brought together by circumstances; when diverse writers come together in workshops, residencies, fellowships, or festivals that, although may seem momentary, could be enduring in its subsequent forms as their meeting of persons may take place not only within the experienced physicality of the moment but also, among others, at the intersections of a language, at the contiguous borders of coloniality, in an interlude of what may later be understood as a lifelong advocacy, in the liminal spaces where nuanced interconnections are made as writers draw from where they have been, where they are at, together at the moment, and where they intend to move towards dreamed futures.

It is in these encounters that I found my selves in worlds with Merlie Alunan, with writers from eastern Visayas who write in their own local languages similar but different from Cebuano, with literary communities in Cebu such as Women in Literary Arts and Bathalad, as well as writers from other regions across the country through which I “became” a writer from the South. South, where Cebu is cartographically located in relation to the capital, Manila, less a geographical marker of where I am from as it is, to my sense, an identity, a position by affiliation or affinity, a kind of belonging, and complicated alliance to bring the idea of “nation” outside its conception within the confines of the country’s capital. That this world, mostly populated by writers from or writing in the Southern regions of the Philippines, may also nuancedly expand to include the entire country and even the Global South, gesturing at the irreducible variation of worlds that allows a world to be a kind of center in itself, created and grown within the labile self who provisionally inhabits this world through nodes of self-identifications and self-determinations.

A world, then, is never stagnant; it is mutable. It is also interconnected in myriad of ways to many worlds that a self has previously traveled and inhabited, corporeally or otherwise. It may be first cognized through mediated introductions: overheard from someone; read from a book; seen on-screen; reimagined constantly into becoming real enough to be inhabited by a self.

---

All text above by: shane carreon. “Archipelagic Interiority: Notes and Reflections on Poetic Voice and Trans Writing in the Philippines.” Kohl. Volume 9 Number 1. Special Issue: Anticolonial Feminist Imaginaries. Winter 2023. [Some paragraph breaks/contractions added by me. Presented here for commentary, teaching, criticism purposes.]

[up2123753theories]

Performance and Movement

Definitions:

Performance-

The action or process of performing a task of function.

A musical, dramatic or other entertainment presented before an audience.

Movement-

An act of moving. 

A change or development.

(Tilting "performance architecture" House Spins 360 Degrees)

Performance and movement look at the motions and processes of everything. From a play to how a building performs, everything Our performance as students or workers is always under review, to watch progress and to ensure we are performing at a good standard. We also keep an eye on the performance of items we use in our everyday lives, from our televisions and phones to our ovens and cars and so much more. Everything performs in different ways and to different standards. As explained on Arch Daily, the term ‘high-performing’ offers different views on performance, “ranging from a star student to a virtuosic violinist to a hard-working employee”.

In Shakespeare’s play, As You Like It, he states that “All the world’s a stage, and all the men and women merely players.” Here Shakespeare expands the idea of a stage and applies it to the whole world, and any action or movement made on the “stage” is part of the performance. This really emphasis’s that anything and everything that moves is classed as a performance.

Quotes:

“place and occasion mean more” than “space and time” – Aldo Van EYk (2008) “any and all activities of human life can be studied as performance” – Schneider (2013) “any movement creates invisible traces in the space that vanish almost instantly” – Sanchez (2020)

References:

As You like It. Directed by Shakespeare, 1623.

Cooke, Lacy. “Tilting “Performance Architecture” House Spins 360 Degrees,” InHabitat, 17 Dec. 2017, inhabitat.com/tilting-performance-architecture-house-also-spins-360-degrees/.

“Definition of Performance | Dictionary.com.” Www.dictionary.com, 2019, www.dictionary.com/browse/performance.

Fisher, Fiona. Performance, Fashion and the Modern Interior from the Victorians to Today. Oxford Berg, 2011.

Hornblower, Simon, et al. The Oxford Dictionary. 4th ed., Oxford, Oxford University Press, 2012.

María José Martínez Sánchez. Dynamic Cartography. Routledge, 28 July 2020.

“Movement.” Dictionary.cambridge.org, dictionary.cambridge.org/dictionary/english/movement.

Schechner, Richard. PERFORMANCE STUDIES : An Introduction. S.L., Routledge, 2020.

“The Ultimate Guide to High-Performance Building Design.” ArchDaily, 30 June 2022, www.archdaily.com/983363/the-ultimate-guide-to-high-performance-building-design.

After completing some research on performance and movement I believe that performance and movement can’t be put into a singular meaning or response. This is due to it covering such a wide range of topics and being applicable to everything.

Maria Jose Sanchez wrote a book called Dynamic Cartography which looks at scoring body movement as well as performance and space. Maria was born in 1982 in Murcia, Spain, and she is a former professional tennis player.

In Sanchez’s book, Dynamic Cartography, she talks about an American environmental designer, Lawrence Halprin (1916-2009). It is believed that Lawrence Halprin worked “at the intersection of architecture and dance”. By working within this interdisciplinary collaboration he used an advanced process within his designs called Motation. Sanchez explains that Motation is “a scoring system he developed which represents movement in relation to space”.

According to Sanchez, “Halprin applied a truly interdisciplinary process based on scoring actions within living environments”. Personally, this makes me think that in order to create any design or space, the actions of which will take place there need to be scored in order to create a successful environment and space. I believe this really emphasis’s the fact that performance and movement affect everything, including designs of future spaces. I find this quite interesting because other than looking at walkways and paths around a space I haven’t really considered thinking about what specific performances and movements will take place in a space I am designing.

Through my research I would say I have managed to come to a better understanding on the importance of performance and space within the design process. I have also learnt that designers work with other disciplines, such as dance, in order to score actions and create more successful designs. However, I do think that with my next topic I need to try and expand my research further.

[docpiplup]

María Pujalte returns to be Inspector Laura Lebrel in the two-part miniseries, Laura y sus Misterios (Laura and her mysteries). The universe of Laura's Mysteries returns to the grid this Christmas with the broadcast of two new episodes, on December 13 and 20. New cases to solve in which we will once again see Oriol Tarrasón, Laura Pamplona and Beatriz Carvajal leading the inspector's police team. The last we heard about Lebrel was discovered in the TV movie Laura y el misterio del asesino inesperado (Laura and the Mystery of the Unexpected Killer). On that occasion, Lebrel had taken some time off and ran a peaceful rural hotel. Something separated her from the police years ago, an event that also greatly affected her then colleagues. Martín, Lydia and Cuevas are also very different from the series. What happened to them in all this time?

Laura Lebrel's new work

Laura was a master at solving the most complicated cases. But in Laura and the mystery of the unexpected murderer, she did not set foot in the police station. She left her job years ago and moved out of the city to run a rural house during low hours. The twins, meanwhile, studied Criminology at university, following in the footsteps of their mother and father, Jacobo.

The mysteries of Martin

Like Laura, Martín Maresca also left the police, although he does not completely distance himself from the action. He works as a private detective, making use of his skills as an investigator, those that made him such a good couple with Laura, at least at work. The last episode of the series, El misterio del número 17 (The Mystery of Number 17), left the door open for Martín to actually feel something more for Laura: it was revealed that he was DW, passionate about the inspector's cases, although it was never revealed if that was just admiration or there were feelings involved.

What happened to Lydia and Cuevas?

Those who do continue working as police officers are Lydia and Cuevas. Lydia Martínez continues to solve cases, the latest being the murder of Eugenio Ortiz, which she tries to unravel with Héctor, an inspector we meet in Laura and the mystery of the unexpected murderer. We also see Vicente Cuevas at the police station. They both had a relationship in Laura's Mysteries, but the ending left them in a very complicated point: Cuevas asked Lydia to marry him, without knowing that she was pregnant. The identity of the father was unknown. Was it Cuevas or Jacobo, Laura's ex?

A new companion for Lebrel

There is also news, someone who joined the team recently: Héctor. Played by Raúl Mérida, he is a very serious and professional young police officer who will not fit in too much with the group. His way of working and his lack of friendship with others will make him look more like a weirdo. It also didn't help that, in the last case to solve, Héctor treated Lebrel as a suspect in the crime. Will they resolve their pending issues? Everything will be seen in the new episodes.

Mother and daughter

Laura and the Mystery of the Unexpected Murderer continues the story years after the end of the third season, clearing up doubts for fans of the series. It also recovers Laura's mother, Maribel, whom we see converted into a writer of detective novels, as well as a character who appeared in the first season, Sebastián Soto, played by Carlos Hipólito. About mothers, Lydia also has something to say. If in the end of the series we saw her pregnant, now we will see her with her daughter, Valeria. Fruit of the relationship that Lydia had with Jacobo. If you want to catch up, before Laura and her mysteries, don't miss Laura and the mystery of the unexpected murderer.

[luminouslumity]

Okay, so if there's anyone I'm really hoping to see at some point in this new book, it's this lady right here: Françoise-Athénaïs de Rochechouart, Marquise de Montespan!

Or just Montespan for convenience's sake.

So I've mentioned two of the more well-known royal mistresses in general, but for Louis XIV specifically? Think of her as the Madame du Barry of her time in that she was (allegedly) involved in a great scandal that ended up affecting France for the worst. So, long story short, she resented María Teresa and Louise de La Vallière (his mistress at the time), manipulating them with friendship while trying to squirm her way into Louis' heart.

And if the rumors at the time are true, then she planned to keep it.

By any means necessary.

Because it was also around this time that the murders happened.

Guys, gals, and non-binary pals, introducing L'affaire des Poisons—the Affair of the Poisons.

A murder scandal that happened between 1677 and 1682, the event is as the name implies: several people were getting poisoned, including those belonging to the aristocracy. Montespan in particular came into suspicion not long after Marie Angélique de Scorailles, one of the King's other mistresses, suddenly died (it's now believed she died of natural causes, though). Her going to the alleged sorceress, fortune teller, and commissioned poisoner Catherine Monvoisin—also known as La Voisin—for things such as aphrodisiacs only helped condemn her further.

In the end, many were implicated and charged with poisoning and witchcraft and were sentenced to death, and it's been estimated that 1,000 to 2,500 people were killed through the organization that La Voisin (who was among the executed) had allegedly run, while Montespan herself was exiled.

Now, again, plenty of this is very alleged and history tends to be written by the winners, but I can totally see RC incorporating this event into the story in some way, if only for the sake of plot.

[su-angelvicioso]

Found Family AU

Me and a friend of mine were talking about how interesting the dynamic of Peter, Charlotte, Jasper and María are. Like how they were all in a war together, with María being the leader and orchestrating everything. How they spent years together before Peter and Charlotte left and then came back convincing Jasper to leave and he spent some time with them before leaving them as well. María then looked Jasper up in Calgary and he had to politely tell her to keep her distance because of whatever happened, and then some time later during the series, Peter and Charlotte visit and he asks that them that should they ever run into María again to tell her he wishes her well. They don’t disagree or anything, they say that even tho it “may not happen any time soon” if they run into her they’ll definitely pass it on.

And that’s when I came up with an AU where Peter and Charlotte actually do end up running into María… they pass along Jasper’s massage and they see how it affects her… they’d never been that close to her before but they can see her perk up and her eyes soften at the mention of Jaspers name and what he said. She thanked them for telling her (because they didn’t have to) and asks them to say the same for Jasper whenever they visit him again. María talks to them a little more and they notice something.. different with her, she seems different from how they remember her last, more open and inviting? She takes an interest in asking what their life is like and what they’ve been up to, they decide to talk to her a little more before leaving.

Having learned some new things about her they ponder if they’d like to see her again, noting that she’d said something that insinuated that she wouldn’t mind seeing them again. They do so happen to see each other again and the meeting is less awkward and wary than before. They do more catching up. Eventually, over time, after many more sparing run-ins and visits, and getting to know her better, something they never really got the chance to do, they realize they actually might like her, and vice versa, she might actually like them. They begin to form a better understanding of each other and a more friendly relationship.

Peter and Charlotte realize that Jasper wasn’t the only one who needed saving….

So they decide to see if María wouldn’t mind joining them on one of their adventures or vacations, and they become better friends… and María shows them a different side of herself. A side they’d never seen before. Like she no longer has the mask of an army leader, she’s really being herself, and she seems happy spending time with them. Then Peter & Charlotte get Jasper to visit and Jasper is shook when he sees María with them.. but he sees them all having fun.. having become friends… and it makes him so happy, the more he spends time with them the more he realizes how much happier and less tense he is with the people he’s known for such a long time.

He’s able to really be himself with them because they know him, they’ve seen him at his worst and his best, and they never really tried to change him, they all respected his decision to leave when he left, María first and then Peter and Charlotte, they all grew as people while apart and now after so much time has passed they’ve found their paths crossed again, but it’s better this time. All 4 have probably seen each other at their worst and their best. They form bonds over mutual understanding and relatability, and because they’ve come to genuinely enjoy each other’s company. María becomes lighter and happier, feeling like she’s finally found people to care about again, and they’re all happy to see her finally come out of her former dark shell and truly be the girl she is at heart.

Because I think María could use some friends and who better than the people who she went through a war with? People who managed to live long enough with her through all the mess. Because they all realize that they were victims to the system in their own way and relate to each other more than they ever thought they would.

It’s like they all belong to each other in weird way. They had the potential for a real found family thing. It’s like a slow burn, enemies-to-best friends type thing. That’s why they outlasted everyone else around them.. I think they’re meant to be a coven but they haven’t realized it yet. But they know each other and it’s sweet because they would actually choose each other. No outside forces involved. They just developed a friend relationship and chose to be with each other because they want to.

[thechangeling]

But you like her better: Part 2

Sorry it's been a minute! I hope you like it.

Cw: Some brief ableism, mentions of internalized biphobia, and self injurious stimming.

2013

It was raining when 16 year old María Machado Sotomayor first met Kit Herondale.

Marí had always loved the sound of the rain. It was peaceful and rhythmic, creating a nice tingly feeling in her skull running straight down her spine. It also good for the plants. Which meant that Marí arrived (on time for once) at her favorite class in a pretty good mood.

Marine biology was their one of their three special interests, the other two being lacrosse and Base guitar. So Bio was usually pretty fun for them. However this time was different.

Her mood was instantly dampened when she walked into class and saw someone new sitting in her usually seat. A blond, short and white kid who looked far too pretty for his own good. A new kid most likely.

A new kid who didn't realize that Marí always sat by the window every single day. It was their spot. Still Marí was determined not to overreact. They marched over to the new kid  and approached him with their best masking smile.

Remember eye contact. She told herself. Keep your tone light and breezy but not too lifeless. Smile. Appear friendly and non threatening. Try not to sweat. Try not to scream.

"Hi excuse me," Marí began in a sickly sweet tone. "That's actually my seat! Sorry!"

The boy instantly looked embarrassed and apologetic. "Oh I'm sorry!" He blushed. "I didn't realize there was assigned seating." He had an American accent, California maybe?

Wonderful. A white American boy. Just what they needed.

Marí chewed their lip and fought the urge to rock or tap. "There isn't actually," they admitted. "I just usually sit there. So can you please move?"

Now the new kid looked a little offended. A cold look settled over his face. "Well why should I?" He bristled. "This seat isn't really yours. It's not like it has your name on it."

Marí rolled her eyes in frustration. "I tried that already but then I got in trouble."

He stared at them curiously for a moment. Marí took the opportunity to break eye contact finally and scuff their heel against the floor. They were wearing the new black suede chunky heels with the gem stones that Marí had gotten when they went thrifting with their friends.

"María!" The harsh voice of her teacher snapped her back into reality. Everyone had arrived and taken their seats while she was arguing with the American and now everyone was staring at her. "Could you please explain why you are not seated young lady?" She snapped in her extra pretentious sounding posh English accent.

The one that said, "I'm better than you."

Marí tried not to growl at being called a young lady. They weren't feeling particularly female today. Not that Marí was going to bother explaining that to some old British hag.

"He won't get out of my seat!" Marí protested. Instantly laughter broke out around the classroom. Cruel mocking laughter that made Marí feel like her skin was crawling.

"It's ok!" The new kid cried out, practically jumping out of Marí's seat. "I'll move! I'll go sit over here." He grabbed his bag and moved to the back of the room as quickly as possible.

Marí smiled in spite of themself. His random act of kindness was surprising, but they were grateful. They took their seat near the window and sighed in relief.

Marí would always look back on that day with fondness no matter what. It may not have seemed like much to him, but it meant the world to her. After Bio class she had asked Kit to come eat with her and her friends. They had made their introductions and the rest was history.

They became close friends very quickly, bonding over movies and music. They sent each other playlists of their favorite songs and songs that reminded them of each other. Marí made Kit a queer playlist with songs by queer artists and told Kit that they were bisexual and a demigirl. They hadn't even told their friends that last part yet at that point.

Marí also told Kit that they liked to use she/they pronouns, but so far was only using them online. Kit asked Marí a lot of questions then confessed to Marí that he was also bisexual but he was still kinda getting used to it.

"I grew up in a shitty situation," Kit had told them. "I guess I still have a lot of shame."

Marí didn't hold it against him. She bought him queer literature and resources for queer history including "Bisexuality and Queer Theory" and her printed copy of the article published in the 90s called "The Bisexual Manifesto." She gave him advice on websites and people to follow online.

They also just talked. Talked about life and their experiences. Their feelings and their relationships with their sexualities. Bonding with another queer person was always special but spending time with Kit always made Marí feel so...light.

Despite how close they were getting, Marí didn't always want to touch him. They were touch averse in most cases unless they were very comfortable with someone. Sometimes it just depended on the day. On the days where Marí found they could not hug Kit they had invented their own way to show affection.

They would place a hand over their hearts and tap it, as if to say "I care about you" or "I love you." Sometimes Kit would say "tap my heart" as a substitute for actually doing it.

He introduced her to his close friend Janessa, the wayward vampire who was incredibly hot and kind of made Marí all nervous and tounge twisty at first. But as they got to know her, Marí realized that she was also incredibly kind, passionate and clearly cared at great deal about Kit. Janessa was a gamer who had named herself after a video game character. She drank cups of warm blood in novelty mugs with giant swirly sparkly straws and was pretty good at making people laugh.

Janessa, or Nessie as Kit had affectionately nicknamed her, was flirtatious and charismatic, but also brutal and deadly in a fight. She was full of surprises. And maybe, just maybe Marì was a little bit into that.

However as much as Marí didn't want to admit it, they were also were starting to realize that they were way more into someone else. Someone with perfect golden curls that Marí wanted to curl their fingers into.

Eventually Kit came out to Marí as genderfluid and requested that she use alternating he/they pronouns for them. They both made the decision to collectively tell their friends their pronouns. Marí, Kit and Nessie sat around her gorgeous leather couch and talked for hours about gender, identity and transness. Kit pointed put that they may never be able to fully explain their gender to the other two, just like Kit might have a hard time fully understanding Janessa's relationship with gender, or Marí's because everyone was different.

"It's personal Nessie," he had said. "Everyone has their own unique perspective on gender and every trans person has their own complicated feelings about gender and what their own gender identity means to them, and those feelings might not completely match up with another trans person's. But that's ok. You don't have to understand the other person but you do have to respect them."

Janessa's understanding of gender came from being a trans women. It was about a strict  binary with clear lines and rules. Rules that Kit was starting to make a habit of fingerpainting all over and Marí could tell that it was stressing her out.

And Marí had no idea where the hell they fit in these rules. They had stopped playing the game.

But those two loved each other more than anything, and Marí knew they could work anything out. And sure enough approximately seven hours and four margaritas later (only two for Marí,) they had come to an understanding.

2014

She kissed Kit for the first time a month into the new year.

They had been trying on clothes in Marí's room and Kit was wearing one of their old dresses that Marí thought they looked amazing in, but Kit wanted to give it away. It was dark navy blue and sparkly with spaghetti straps, coming to about mid thigh. There were cut outs on the sides, filled in with black sheer fabric, and it had a low v cut at the neckline which was also filled in with black sheer.

Kit had been infodumping about one of the Marvel movies again, Marí couldn't remember which one, and she had kept getting distracted by his tan smooth skin peaking through the sheer fabric and fullness of Kit's moving lips. He smiled excitedly and Marí had stepped forward and kissed him.

Their first thought was that Kit tasted like chocolate. Their second was that they should have done this months ago.

Kit had melted into the kiss, smiling slightly against her mouth and pulling her closer. They kissed her feverishly, sliding their tounge inside Marí's mouth and moaning when she deepened the kiss eagerly. They moved against each other with almost lazy, comfortable precision, kissing each other for what could have been hours or days or maybe only seconds.

Marí couldn't have said.

When Kit finally broke the kiss and pulled away from Marí, his eyes were practically gleaming with joy and love. And that was when they knew.

I love him.

2015

I love him.

Ty's words ran in her ears. Repeating over and over again, maddenly bouncing around inside of her skull until she was forced to utter out loud,

"I love him".

They whispered it under their breath but Marí could tell that both Alyssa and Ty had heard them. It was so quiet you could probably hear a pin drop.

But of course. Of course he does. It was obvious. This whole time Marí had noticed there was something wrong with Ty. Just like there was something wrong with Kit. The way they stared after each other when they thought the other one wasn't looking. The loving and worshipful glances mixed with the bitter glares.

Marí had already known that Kit was in love with Ty of course. But the way they had told the story made it seem like they were positive that Ty couldn't be in love with them.

But then again maybe that made sense. Given Kit's history and who he was. But then Marí couldn't help but think of Ty and how confused he must have been. God it was a giant mess.

Speaking of...

The room was still silent. Marí found that she couldn't read Ty's expression as he stared back at her flatly. But his body was shaking, his fingers fluttered at his sides. She wanted to soothe him.

They stepped forward carefully. "I'm not mad at you," Marí assured him. "I was hoping we could talk?"

Ty's left eye twitched. "We are talking," he pointed out. Alyssa snorted.

"Ty, they mean about the proverbial bomb you just dropped a few seconds ago," Alyssa said with a laugh.  Marí smirked to themself slightly.

It wasn't really a bomb. More like a flare.

She really needed to talk to Ty. The only problem was Alyssa had an annoying tendency to never leave his side. It wasn't like she had a problem with the girl. Of course not. But her presence meant that Marí hadn't had the opportunity to talk to Ty one on one.

They cleared their throat. "Alyssa could you please give Ty and I some space to talk?" They asked. Marí hoped they didn't sound too rude. Alyssa looked to Ty and he nodded slightly, signaling that he was ok with her leaving.

That was so strange to Marí. Their relationship. The way Alyssa, a werewolf who hated shadowhunters even more then Marí did, essentially took orders from him and clearly trusted him more than anyone else. But perhaps she wasn't one to judge.

After all, she loved Kit.

Alyssa left the room with a pat on Ty's back and a quick, "call if you need me." Marí shifted their weight back and forth as they rocked slightly from side to side as they waited for Ty to speak.

He stared back at her silently, most likely doing the same. Marí blew out a loud breath and forced herself to stay still, crossing her arms.

"Are you going to say something or should I?" Ty asked expectantly. Marí bit their lip and shrugged.

"I'm still thinking of what I wanna say," she admitted.

Ty smiled at her softly. "So am I."

There we go. Cracks in the armour.

"I'm sorry," Ty whispered suddenly. "I never meant to-"

"You don't have to apologize!" Marí blurted out. Whoops they had interrupted him. "Oh shit sorry you were still talking!" They reached for their hair nervously and realized that they were wearing that Morticia wig for their costume.

Great. Marí moved on to chewing on her knuckles.

"It's ok," Ty reassured her. "I don't really know where I was going with that sentence. And you shouldn't do that." He pointed to her hand.

Marí scoffed, "yeah well you shouldn't dig your nails into your palms." He glared at them and they laughed.

"Not so fun playing a game of Mirror Image is it?" They teased. Ty didn't respond, just stared at Marí solemnly.

"You know I really admire you," he said, aiming his gaze close enough to hers to create the illusion of eye contact. "I always have. I never wanted to hurt or upset you."

Marí wished for a brief moment that they could touch him and then shrugged the impulse off. "I know love," they cooed. "Me too."

Without really understanding why, she pressed her hand to her chest directly above her heart and tapped, just like how she did with Kit. Ty studied Marí for a moment and then followed suite.

Marí in spite of themself, actually felt bad for him. They could clearly see the toll the last three years had taken on him, specifically the last few weeks. Maybe his family couldn't see it, and they definitely knew that Kit couldn't, but Marí could.

Marí of all people could see past the mask because they knew what masking looked like. It wasn't just about appearing normal, whatever that word meant. It was about hiding your feelings. Taking that heart you wore on your sleeve and locking it up tight. But everytime Marí looked at Ty, they could see it. And it was bleeding.

Ripped and bloody and broken, just like her own and yet they both still had the sheer audacity to keep breathing. Marí was proud of them both.

"You need to talk to him," Marí prompted. "You both need to be honest with each other."

Ty furrowed his brow. "Honest? About what? He doesn't feel the same way." He had gone back to flicking his fingers as he stared at her, looking puzzled.

Bloody hell between the two of them, Kit and Ty were giving Marí the mother of all headaches.

They took a deep breath. "Yes they do Ty," Marí tried not to sound exasperated. "Kit is in love with you, believe me. They told me."

It hurt Marí's heart to have to say it, but it was true and Ty deserved to know the truth. And they knew deep down that Kit wouldn't really be happy, he wouldn't be Kit until he had Ty. And Marí had to make their peace with that.

Ty looked understandably confused. He ran a frantic hand through his hair. "But why are you telling me this? Why are you helping me?" He asked. "Don't you love them?"

She fought the urge to cry as tears gathered in her eyes. She found herself digging her nails into her palms despite chastising Ty for doing it a few minutes ago.

"I'm telling you all of this because I love them" she cried desperately. "Because Kit cries out your name in his sleep Ty! Because everytime he sees you, he stares at you like you are the moon the sun and the stars! Because everytime you speak they hang onto absolutely every word, and when you laugh-" Marí cut herself off.

They squeezed their eyes shut and took deep long breaths. Ty said nothing. Marí opened their eyes to see Ty staring at them in dismay. He looked like he was trying to think of what to say to help.

Marí shook their head. "I know Kit loves me. And they probably always will. We were close friends even before we started dating." Marí groaned and shook out their entire body this time, jumping up and down a few times as well to get rid of the tension. If Ty thought this was weird he didn't comment on it.

Marí wiped her eyes carefully trying not to smudge her mascara. "But you Ty?" His eyes refocused on her again at the sound of his name. Marí chuckled humourlessly. "Fucking hell, he is in love with you. And right now he is thinking that you hate him and I know it's tearing him up inside."

Ty stared at Marí hopelessly, looking overwhelmed and exhausted. "So what do I do then? What am I supposed to say?"

Marí shrugged. "I can't help you with that I'm sorry. It has to come from you." Ty looked even more panicked.

They gave him what they hoped was an encouraging smile. "Don't be scared Ty," they murmered. "It's Kit remember. They're not scary. You have nothing to worry about."

Ty didn't answer her. He had wrapped his arms around his body, squeezing tightly. "Marí do you remember those dead moon jellyfish we buried on the beach?" He asked.

She was a little confused as to why he was bringing this up now. "Yeah? Why?"

"That's what I feel like right now," Ty admitted. "Like I've washed up on the beach and now I'm just waiting for someone to come along and step on me."

Marí's heart sank. "Oh Ty," they breathed. "I promise that won't happen with Kit. I can't make any promises for anyone else, but I do know that Kit has absolutely no intention of hurting you again love."

Ty looked pensive. Marí could only hope that Ty would make the decision to trust them.

With a sudden jolt Marí remembered the party.

"Hey we still have the Halloween party to go to," she said, shaking Ty out of his stupor. "Do you still wanna go?"

To their surprise, Ty nodded. "Sure. I think Alyssa might kill me if I back out now."

Marí snorted. Alyssa Reyes could be pretty terrifying at times.

With surprise Marí found that their spirts were lighter having cleared the air with Ty and with the prospect of a party being renewed.

She smiled. "All right then let's head out!" Marí smoothed down the long black wig over her shoulders and quickly smoothed out the long skirt of her black slinky dress before turning and exiting the training room.

She knew that she would have to talk to Kit at some point and that conversation would be brutal. But at least they could have one last night together.

It's better this way. Marí told themself as they walked back towards the main living room where everyone was gathered.  At least now Kit can be happy.

It's for the best.

It has to be.

So I'm actually planning on writing a part 3 from Kit's pov because the drama isn't over yet! 😏

Tag list: lmk if you wanna be added/removed.

@playwithravenclaw @lavender-scented-rat @jazzkaurtheglorious @waterlillies   @nott-the-best @stxr-thxif @magnus-the-fabulous-entp-bane @foxglove-airmid @littlx-songbxrd @clarys-heosphoros @queenlilith43 @arangiajoan @hardlymatters @thomas-gaypanic-lightwood @tired-vin @phoenix-and-dragon @the-blackdale @adoravel-fenomeno @the-wckd-powers

[luthienne]

Hey, dear! Let me be one [more] follower who asks a few quotes about some things. Could you compile some (just a few, just a bunch) about silence and/or introversion? Thank you dearly. ♡

a compilation v close to my heart ♡

“Solitude: liberation from even the expectation of being seen.”

Kathleen Graber, The Eternal City: Poems; “The Telephone”

“For now she need not think about anybody. She could be herself, by herself. And that was what now she often felt the need of — to think; well not even to think. To be silent, to be alone.”

Virginia Woolf, To the Lighthouse

“I thought of you—wished you were here with me but I get a keen sort of exhilaration from being alone…”

Georgia O’Keeffe, in a letter to Cady Wells, featured in Georgia O’Keeffe: A Life

“But I love such days—rare lonely days. I love above all things, my dear, to be alone.”

Katherine Mansfield, in a letter to J.M. Murry

“I am, oddly, happiest when alone for weeks on end talking to no one there, talking in my mind to the imagined listener who perfectly hears, perfectly understands, and talks back with equal truthfulness.”

Martha Gellhorn, from Selected Letters

Amélie, dir. Jean-Pierre Jeunet (2001)

“For a long time now, every meeting with another human being has been a collision. I feel too much, sense too much, am exhausted by reverberations after even the simplest conversation.”

May Sarton, Journal of a Solitude

“I have packed myself into silence so deeply and for so long that I can never unpack myself using words. When I speak, I only pack myself a little differently.”

Herta Müller, from The Hunger Angel

“I don't see much of anybody these days—I feel rather funny with other people—even those whom I care for. While one's heart is being transformed into a little world, one wants to be alone.”

Kahlil Gibran, in a letter to Mary Haskell, from Beloved Prophet: The Love Letters of Kahlil Gibran and Mary Haskell, and her private journal

Bella Akhmadulina, Fever and Other New Poems; “Longing for Lermontov” (tr. Geoffrey Dutton, Igor Mezhakoff-Koriakin)

“Perhaps I am addicted to solitude and feel safe and easy in it,”

Martha Gellhorn, Selected Letters

“…because there was too much silence within me. In those days I was alone,”

Clarice Lispector, Why This World: A Biography of Clarice Lispector

“My current silence interests only me. It touches too many parts of my personal life for me to explain it to you.”

Albert Camus, Notebooks (1951-1959), Vol 3.

“People love talking, and I have never been a huge talker. I carry on an inner monologue, but the words often don’t reach my lips.”

Gillian Flynn, Gone Girl

“And what were they anyway, sprigs of grass, things of blue? For a long time I wanted to use words, then didn’t.”

Mary Ruefle, Madness, Rack, and Honey

“What words? What words can I trust to convey this fragile heart?”

Jeanette Winterson, Gut Symmetries

Keaton Henson, from “How Could I Have Known”

“So much of what we live goes on inside– The diaries of grief, the tongue-tied aches Of unacknowledged love are no less real For having passed unsaid. What we conceal Is always more than what we dare confide. Think of the letters that we write our dead.”

Dana Gioia, Unsaid

“But I cannot help it. I only want to be alone. I want to be myself and alone and free to breathe, live, look upon the world and find it however it is…”

Martha Gellhorn, from Selected Letters

“… Perhaps love is to give one’s own solitude to others? For it is the very last thing we have to offer.”

Clarice Lispector, Selected Cronicas; “The Gift”

“I’ve never been afraid of loneliness because I’ve never felt the need to justify my feelings to myself. I accept the muteness of feeling too. I have huge respect for my own silence. I let it speak. I allow time to do its trick and lead me back to myself. I don’t want just anyone to share life and myself with me.”

Anaïs Nin, from The Diary of Anaïs Nin, Vol. 5: 1947-1955

“Don’t allow yourself to be imprisoned by any affection. Preserve your solitude. If the day ever comes when a real friendship is bestowed on you there will be no conflict between your inner solitude and this friendship. On the contrary, that is the infallible sign by which you will know it.”

Simone Weil, First and Last Notebooks: Supernatural Knowledge

“…the most precious thing of all: solitude.”

Clarice Lispector, The Hour of the Star (tr. Benjamin Moser)

“She naturally loved solitary places, vast views, and to feel herself for ever and ever and ever alone.”

Virginia Woolf, Orlando

Harold Pinter, Old Times

“Le Notti Bianche” (1957) - Luchino Visconti

“Solitude itself is a way of waiting for the inaudible and the invisible to make itself felt. And that is why solitude is never static and never hopeless.”

May Sarton, Plant Dreaming Deep

“O you—my sacred solitude!”

Anna Akhmatova, The Complete Poems; “Solitude (from Rilke)”

“It is curious for one who has been much alone—this sinking back into silence.”

Katherine Mansfield, in a letter to J.M. Murry

“…I have backed up / into my silence / as inexhaustible as the sun”

Fanny Howe, The Lyrics: Poems; “O’Clock”

“All I want is silence, for myself and for the selves I used to be, a silence like the magical cottage in the forest that lost children find in fairy tales.”

Alejandra Pizarnik, Extracting the Stone of Madness (tr. Yvette Siegert)

Allison Stone, “Persephone’s First Season in Hell”

“…and the heart took shelter behind a parapet of silence;”

Dulce María Loynaz, Absolute Solitude: Selected Poems; “Poema XLV” (tr. James O’Connor)

[Original: “…y el corazón se encastilló en un muro de silencio;”]

“I feel the same way about solitude as some people feel about the blessing of the church. It’s the light of grace for me. I never close my door behind me without the awareness that I am carrying out an act of mercy toward myself.”

Peter Høeg, “Smilla’s Sense of Snow”

“Solitude as necessity, demandable, honorable. Not sinful, indulgent, wasteful, undeserved.”

May Sarton, from a journal entry dated October 18, 1993

“And in that silence, what grace.”

Camille Norton, Corruption: Poems; “Savonarola’s Cape”

“and my chest appears translucent, / heart in its center, / cathedral of dust / and silence”

Milagros Terán, Las luces en la sien (tr. Fiona Griffin)

[Original: “y el pecho lo llevo traslúcido, / corazón en medio / como una catedral de pólvera / y silencio”]

Emily Dickinson, “I felt a Funeral in my Brain”

“I want to meet no one; I want to say nothing; / I want to go down and rest in the black earth of silence.”

Robert Bly, Eating the Honey of Words; “Depression,”

“You would rather have gone on feeling nothing, / emptiness and silence; the stagnant peace / of the deepest sea,”

Margaret Atwood, from “Eurydice,” Selected Poems II: 1976 - 1986

“I don’t know about birds / nor do I know the history of fire. / But I believe that my solitude should have wings.”

Alejandra Pizarnik, Tree of Diana, tr. Joseph Mulligan & Patricia Rossi

“For language to have meaning there must be intervals of silence somewhere, to divide word from word and utterance from utterance.”

Thomas Merton, “Disputed Questions”

“I have a need of silence and of stars. / Too much is said too loudly.”

William Alexander Percy, from “Home”

Camille Norton, Corruption: Poems

“—a space of virgin silence, a place of rest where I wait for myself.”

Alejandra Pizarnik, “A Night Shared in a Memory of Escape” (tr. Yvette Siegert)

[nadiaportia]

Heloisa de Rubalcaba

The charismatic aristocrat with a taste for ambition.

Other bios: Sayelle | Deirdra | Ximena | Cibela

Full name: Heloisa María Dolores de Rubalcaba y Saavedra

Meaning of name: 

Heloisa: German variant of Héloïse which means “famed warrior”

María Dolores: Spanish name for Mary of the Sorrows

Family: 

Cibela de Rubalcaba and Ximena Rubalcaba: Heloisa’s sister, Cibela the older and Ximena the younger one. Being the middle child, she spent the most time with Cibela but after the latter left Calpacia, she was around for most of Ximena’s childhood. She has genuine affection for Ximena and certain begrudging respect for Cibela despite their differences but also sees them as rivals of whom she feels intense jealousy.

Marisol de Rubalcaba: Her mother ani d the former Marquesa de Rubalcaba. Marisol was rather distant towards her younger daughters but would try to be an affectionate mother towards them. Heloisa looked up to her mother and constantly tried to win her affections, even went as far as trying to emmulate her, while also resenting her for holding favouritism for Cibela.

Valentín Saavedra: Heloisa’s late father and a sea-faring merchant prince from the higher Cartagense bourgeoisie. Like his wife, Valentín favored his eldest daughter yet tried to encourage all of his daughters’ ambitions and work. Heloisa remains bitter to this day for her father not giving her the same amount of love like her older sister.

Esmerelda de Rubalcaba: The matriarch in-all-but-name of the Rubalcaba family, Marisol’s older sister and Heloisa’s aunt. Esmé holds immense favouritism for Heloisa and was of help to her in her rise at court, yet she’s not above manipulating her niece for her own ends. Heloisa feels torn between wanting to please her aunt and overthrow her. 

Aníbal Heßling de Cordovero: Cibela’s husband and Heloisa’s brother-in-law. Both are courtiers, although in different areas and of different levels of importance, and thus rivals. 

Agustín de Rubalcaba: Her aunt Esmé’s only son and Heloisa’s cousin. They are civil towards each other but hold little to no respect for the other.

Others: Agustín de Rubalcaba (maternal cousin), Constanza de Rubalcaba (maternal grand-mother, deceased), Cristobal de Rubalcaba (maternal uncle, deceased), Máximo de Otxoa (maternal grand-father, deceased), Jaime Saavedra (paternal uncle), Genoveva Saavedra (paternal aunt), Dulcinea Saavedra (paternal grand-mother, deceased), Leonardo Buendía (paternal grand-father), Catalina Saavedra (paternal grand-aunt)

Nicknames: Helo (by close friends), Lola (by family), Lolita (by her aunt)

Favourite meal: Shrimps roasted in garlic, lemon and cilantro

Favourite drink: Soursop liquor

Favourite flower: Passionflower

Favourite color: Magenta red

Birthday: 7th of December

Age: 43 during the events of the game

Zodiac: Sagittarius

MBTI: ESTP

Patron Arcana: Temperance and Queen of Wands

Upright: Temperance shuns extremes and embraces harmony. She finds tranquility in the midst of struggle.

Reversed: Temperance allows conflict to overwhelm her peaceful disposition; she reacts with extreme measures.

Upright: The Queen of Wands is confident in social and professional settings, drawing others into her orbit.

Reversed: The Queen of Wands is stubborn and quick-tempered, easily losing her temper when things don't go her way.

Gender: Cis female

Sexuality: Lesbian

Height: 1,62 m // 5′3″

Appearance:

Heloisa is of slender build. Her skin is of a slightly light medium brown color with a warm undertone and she has a slender face with slightly visible crow’s feet around her eyes, dimples and a beauty mark above her upper lip on the right side of her face. She had slightly thick and well-groomed eyebrows, eyes a color reminiscent of dark honey, an upturned nose with a low bridge and full lips. Her hair is dark brown with a reddish hue, wavy and reaches shortly underneath her chest. She is a very extroverted woman who naturally draws attention to herself and as a courtier and politician, she knows how to be a crowd pleaser.

Visual Inspiration(s): Eva Mendes and Bianca Lawson 

Languages spoken: Calpacian, Prakran, Firenti, Karnasso, Galbradan, Hjallen, Venterran, Oriolà, Zadithi, Bizateni and the Common Tongue

Love interests: 

Ippolita: An OC of mine and Heloisa’s long-time lover. A former assassin and one of Esmerelda’s wards, they have a long-term affair that is never made public due to Ippolita not belonging to the aristocracy as well as Heloisa’s fears of total commitment.

Justina: Another OC and fellow courtier. They are long-term friends with benefits who at the same time are business rivals.

Nadia: They met at one of the masquerade and had a fling, one which Heloisa would’ve loved to continue.

In general, like with most of my characters; if they’re compatible sexuality- as well as personality-wise, feel free to ship them with your OCs or MCs! Hit me up with a message and we can discuss the details!

Backstory:

Heloisa was born as the second child of the Marquesa de Rubalcaba, Marisol, a courtier in service to the Zaan of Cartagenth, the capital of Calpacia. Her family had been one of the most influential ones of the empire for several centuries, and Heloisa has been destined to take onto that legacy before she could even make her own decisions. 

Being overshadowed by her older sister Cibela, her aunt Esmerelda, a highly decorated general of the Grand Army of Calpacia, took on tutoring her personally in politics and debating after recognizing the potential for a talented politician in her niece. She grew to love her niece as if she were her own child, in no small part due to her resemblance in behaviour with Esmé’s own sister, but also because she knew exactly how neglected Heloisa felt and figured that she needed someone in her corner. Even at a young age, Heloisa already had a way with words and was able to manipulate others with ease. She enjoyed the best tutors, who themselves were former politicians and courtiers, and joined the junior court at the age of twelve. She was given the chance to see the world and travelled to places as far away as Hjalle and Prakra and on her travels picked up the hobby of writing.

Throughout her youth, Heloisa got into disputes and arguments with Cibela, sometimes for no reasons at all but mostly due to rubbing each other the wrong way, their ongoing rivalry and vying for the attention of their parents, their aunt and peers. Heloisa, who naturally had a pendant for jealousy, felt that compared to both of her sisters she got the short end of the stick; she wished to be trained as a magician or as a warrior, began to read a lot about magic, befriended the court magicians and secretly trained herself in sword fighting - but after approaching her aunt with the desire to learn more about the arts her sisters dabbled into, she was told off, that each of them had a speciality and she should know better than to try to be a jack-of-all-trades but master-of-none.

When Heloisa was about to be of age, a dispute between her and Cibela escalated and ended with her getting injured after challenging her more experienced sister to a duel and caused her ascension from junior court to court to be postponed for some months until she healed her injury. The time spent with Ximena by her side and where she was unable to leave her house allowed her to focus on her writing and finished her very first play. She also came around to realize one important thing that would have a lasting impact on her: to focus on her own weapons, always keep her mind sharp and leave the physical fighting to someone else - but at the same time, never be unprotected on her own. 

When she published her first play, it became an instant hit and most popular among both the richer citizens of Cartagenth as well as the nobility, and Heloisa decided to tour with her entourage to promote it at the courts of several sovereigns outside of Calpacia. Upon her return to the capital, she was welcomed to the Calpacian court by the Zaan and began her political career. She took on the role of a representative of Cartagenth and over the years focused mostly on the life at court and her playwriting. The death of her father was easily brushed off and Heloisa let her resentment reign over her grief, and while her mother’s death did affect her, she refused to indulge in sadness and focused on her work. 

Ximena’s apparent betrayal angered her and she was arguably the one who was the most active in diffusing the explosive situation Ximena had inadvertently caused for the family she had left back, and initially wanted to have her brought back to Calpacia at all costs and imprisoned, but deep down she felt more hurt than she ever had. The exposure of the plans made by the War Council, led by their aunt, the Court - among them Heloisa herself, who had enthusiastically contributed - and the Zaan about the future of Calpacia brought chaos to Cartagenth. In order to save face, the Zaan announced the Rubalcabas to be the sole scapegoats and it was only due to Esmé’s immense influence and a very direct threat that kept their titles, lands, fortune, positions and even their heads in place even if beyond the official statements, they effectively became social pariahs too powerful to be removed and useful to be thrown to the angry mob in the streets. In order to return her family to its former position among the Cartagense high society, she began driving a hard line in order to redeem the court in the eyes of the resentful commoner populace with the help of her aunt, who still held a lot of power at court. 

Over the following years, Heloisa gained more and more power at court, and even gained the new Zaan’s confidence enough that they made one of their most trusted advisers as well as official representative of the Calpacian sovereign. She was fully aware that the crown’s status was able to override the line of succession so that someone with actual skills in politics and the one who had actually washed the hands of the Rubalcaba family could become its primary heir. And yet, the fact that Esmé never gave her the title that she considers herself fit for and not Cibela made her grow bitter towards her aunt, as well as the realizations that she was being little more than a pawn to Esmé in a plan she is unwilling to disclose to her. While Cibela actively tries to leave their aunt’s orbit and be independent, Heloisa prefers to play the long game with the hopes of eventually ending up on top.

Art:

feat. Ximena by @missrabbitart​ | full post

[kuramirocket]

María Clemente arrives in high heels and is tall, tanned, with an easy smile and a small tattoo at the corner of each eye – one of the moon and another of the stars – the significance of which only she knows. She has a degree in business administration and until a few months ago worked as a driver for ridesharing firm DiDi and from September 1, along with her colleague Morena Salma Liévano, she is set to become the first transgender lawmaker to serve in the Chamber of Deputies of the Mexican Congress. Clemente’s journey to this point has been a difficult one but she believes the real challenge starts now. Among her objectives as a lawmaker, Clemente has identified modifying Article 1 of the Mexican Constitution to make it more inclusive as well as safeguarding the labor rights of app-based delivery and passenger drivers.

Born in Mexico City, Clemente will celebrate her 36th birthday on October 11.

 “We have broken the glass ceiling for the political participation of the trans community,” she says with conviction. Until now only one transgender woman, Rubí Araujo, had been elected to office in the country as a city councilor in Guanajuato in 2016.

In the June 6 legislative elections in Mexico, there were around 40 trans candidates, leading Clemente to state “it is difficult to consider oneself a representative of a population where there is no consensus toward a political vision.” But she adds that both colleagues from other parties and leaders of the trans movement view her election “as a victory.”

“It’s incredible to be a voice for a population in such an important place as Congress, where the laws are made,” she says. Her priorities now are: “To listen to my colleagues, drive an agenda in favor of sexual diversity and by building a judicial structure, make the integration of the trans population ironclad.”

The first step is to pore over rules, codes and laws in search of any discriminatory concepts. Furthermore, she is also seeking to bolster the National Council to Prevent Discrimination (Conapred), to make it more efficient and to guarantee its budget.

Additionally, after 18 months as a DiDi driver, Clemente has first-hand knowledge of the protections app drivers require. “Drivers are users of the app in the same way the passenger is, and as such our hard work does not translate into labor rights because the app is not recognized as an employer. We want to table initiatives to protect their labor rights.”

Politics as a safe haven to come out

Clemente’s life, straddling the Cuauhtémoc district and the suburbs, has always been intrinsically linked to metropolitan politics. She was born in Tlatelolco but grew up in Cuautitlán Izcalli, in the State of Mexico. The daughter of a neighborhood activist, the first thing she did when she turned 15 was to join the party ranks. “I was an activist for the sake of being an activist, through pure conviction,” she says. “I consider myself a working-class woman, I understand the solutions from that viewpoint.”

Clemente came out as a trans woman seven years ago in what she considered her safe haven: politics. “I came out of the closet during a meeting of the university council at the Autonomous University of Mexico City,” she says animatedly. “I couldn’t go another day without doing it and I had to keep attending the meetings, so I arrived at the council one day and it was the first day of my official transition.” She remembers she asked for the floor for a minute “to tell them what was happening” and asked for their support. “I had done it before occasionally [come out as a woman] but this was the first official day, it was saying that this is forever, and for every day.”

Clemente found at university – and later in Morena – a safe space to come out. She did receive the support and unconditional love of her mother and friends, “and that is the most important thing.” That affection has served to consolidate Clemente in her new position.

“If you had told me 10 years ago that I would be where I am now, I wouldn’t have believed it,” says the politician.

[365days365movies]

March 9, 2021: Orpheus (1950) (Part One)

Greek mythology was my first mythological love.

And yes, that is ironically a very cliché thing to say about Greek mythology, since it’s by FAR the most popular and well-known mythology in the Western world, but...what can I say, I’m a sucker for the classics.

When I was 6, my mom got me a copy of the Odyssey, followed by D’Aulaire’s Book of Greek Myths, and that book was my SHIIIIIIIIIIT. From the Titanomachy to the Trojan War, from Decaulion to Daedalus, from the Lernaean Hydra to Ladon, and from Zeus to Dionysus (my second favorite Olympian), I LOVE Greek mythology.

There have been countless adaptations of these stories over the last century of so, some better and more faithful than others. We got Blood of Zeus (which I...genuinely dislike) on Netflix last year, Lore Olympus is a fantastic webcomic and modernized retelling of the universe of stories in general (fuck Apollo, that’s all I have to say), Hercules by Disney is fun (though extraordinarily inaccurate), and who doesn’t like some Percy Jackson (the books, not the movies)?

Today’s entry won’t be the first of the Greek mythology stories this month; after all, it’s DEFINITELY fantasy, so there were going to be a few entries in here. Some will come pretty close to each other later this month, but for this one, we’re jumping forward 10 years from The Thief of Bagdad to 1950. Let’s get back to France, shall we?

Famous for his adaptation of Beauty and the Beast is Jean Cocteau, legendary French surrealist filmmaker. His stylings definitely capture a sort of practical magic, compounded with clever angles and fascinating visual and practical effects. It’s evident with the classic fairy tale, which I would’ve done this month had I not already seen it. So, instead, we’ll be looking at the middle film in a trilogy known as Cocteau’s Orphic trilogy. This is, apparently, the most important one. And that makes sense, since it’s focused upon...

Is Hadestown good? I’m real tempted to find a way to watch it, and it sounds like it’s just up my alley. I’ll probably check it out one of these days.

Orpheus was (maybe) the son of Calliope, the muse of poetry, and Apollo, god of music. Maybe. Parentage differs based on the retelling. No matter the parents, he was renowned for his charm and grace, as well as his voice and music. He was loved by animals, nymphs, and maidens alike. He was invited to be the Bard of Jason’s DnD group (AKA the Argonauts), and used Bardic Performance to inspire his comrades (and also helped them overcome the sirens by singing EVEN LOUDER).

But the one whom he loved most was his wife, Eurydice. Unfortunately, a satyr (AKA horny horned half-goat man) chased her right into a viper’s nest, where she was bitten and died. Orpheus was CRUSHED, and his song was so depressing that even the gods cried. They said, “Dude, go to the Underworld, get back your lady from Hades, please!” And he did.

Hades, the old romantic that he secretly is, agrees to let Eurydice’s soul, on one condition. That he doesn’t look back at her as she follows him out. Orpheus agrees, but the man can’t stop himself from looking back to make sure that she’s there. And she was...and then she wasn’t. So, our sad boi fucked up, and then...well, it’s spotty. 

See, some people say that he stopped worshipping Dionysus (his previous patron), and the wine boi’s female followers tore Orpheus to pieces as punishment. Some say that these same women got a liiiiiiiiiittle too into the Bacchanalia (think orgies, but religious and violent), and ripped him apart in a frenzy. And some say that he only took male lover from then on, and women tore him to pieces for not paying attention to them (also, possible homophobia). You know, it varies. Still, we can agree on the ripped apart by women thing. His head could still sing, and as the women threw his body parts into a river, it sang a song so beautiful that the rocks and branches in the river refused to strike it. His instrument of choice, a lyre, was eventually interred amongst the stars as the constellation Lyra.

The story of a pained artist searching for a lost love and losing her is all over the goddamn place, with the crazy-ass Moulin Rouge being a solid example of it.

But OK, let’s finally begin Orpheus, or Orphée to be more accurate. Gonna be a weird ride, I guarantee it. SPOILERS AHEAD!!!

Recap (1/2)

The story starts with a recap of the original myth, and notes that it doesn’t need to be limited  by time and place. This sort of story, after all, could happen anywhere and at any time. And in this case, that time and place are 1950s-era France, where we quickly meet famous poet Orpheus (Jean Marais).

At a café, he meets a friend, the Editor (Henri Crémieux), where they speak on Orpheus’ fame, which is not well-liked in a cafe frequented by poets. Also arriving there is a young drunken poet, Jacques Cégeste (Édouard Dermit), who is accompanied by his patron, known only as...the Princess (María Casares). Come on, guys, can we give our female characters names, please?

Anyway, Jacques quickly gets into a drunken brawl with other patrons, which leads to the arrival of the police at the café. They forcefully arrest him, but before they can, he’s hit by a couple of motorcycles, and potentially killed. The police bring Jacques back to the Princess’ car, with the help of her driver Heurtebise (François Périer). For unknown reasons, she summons Orpheus to help them. He agrees, and goes with them to the hospital.

Or he would be, if they were going there. Instead, as they drive off, Orpheus discovers that Jacques is dead already. They aren’t going to the hospital. Instead, they head to a mysterious mansion, as ominous and oblique poetry plays on the radio. They’re soon accompanied by the men on the motorcycles that killed Jacques, who work for the Princess. The plot fuckin’ THICKENS.

Back at her mansion, they bring the body of Jacques upstairs, much to the confusion of Orpheus, whom the Princess keeps calling stupid whenever he asks questions. However, he’s not proving her wrong, as she immediately convinces him that she’s actually dreaming at the moment. Although...maybe he is?

She sits in front of a mirror, which breaks...somehow. Frustrated, she commands Orpheus to wait there for her to return, as she goes to check on Jacques and her men. Like me, Orpheus is confused. This gets worse for me, though, as the Princess goes to the other room and tells the dead Jacques to get up. AND HE DOES. Well, Jacques’ a zombie, I guess. He identifies the Princess as “his Death”, which she agrees to. She tells him to hold on to her coat, and then...

...I got questions. I GOT QUESTIONS HERE.

They go through the mirror, and the Princess’ henchmen follow, just as Orpheus walks in. He also has questions, and he tries to go through the mirror, to no avail. Completely confused at this point, he passes out against the mirror, alone in the mansion. And then...he’s outside.

Yeah, he’s just outside now, and waiting there is Heurtebise, the chauffeur! Orpheus is freakin’ out, and Heurtebise has no answers for him, but has been told to take him back to town once he...arrived. OK. Still questions.

In town, the disappearance of Orpheus is being discussed by a police inspector, his wife Eurydice (Marie Déa), and her friend Aglaonice (Juliette Gréco). Aglaonice doesn’t seem to like Orpheus very much, as she’s trying to convince Eurydice that he’s cheating on her. And that’s hard to argue, since he was last seen with the Princess. However, just as there’s about to be a scandal reported by a spontaneously appearing journalist, Heurtebise and Orpheus arrive home.

After a rough encounter with the journalist, he arrives home to a relieved Eurydice, and an enraged Aglaonice, whom Orpheus also dislikes heavily. He’s apparently forbidden her from entering his house, and tells her off. The Inspector leaves too, and asks Orpheus to come to his office to discuss the matter of the missing Jacques.

Eurydice reminds Orpheus that Aglaonice is dangerous, as she runs...the League of Women. Well...I think we know what role Aglaonice is going to play by the end of this. Her and her League of Bacchanalian Women, get me? Yikes. Anyway, the conversation turns into an argument, when the EXTREMELY ornery Orpheus basically just storms off, being a DICK to his poor wife. And when he goes upstairs to his room, he actually sneaks out of the window.

Meanwhile, Heurtebise comes into the house to offer an alibi to the pained Eurydice. While she doesn’t quite believe it, the two share some time together and seem to bond. However, when he smells gas from the stove, Heurtebise lets it slip that he committed suicide by using a gas stove. He covers it up before Eurydice notices the slip-up, but...OK. So, “the Princess” is death. Going by the traditional Greek myth, she’s some form of psychopomp, and the world beyond the mirror is the Underworld, I can only assume. OK...I can dig it.

Orpheus, meanwhile, is at the car, listening to the strange radio poetry and writing it down. The, uh, “Princess” is busy as well. Like a ghost, she walks into the household and watches Orpheus as he sleeps. A narration refers to her as Orpheus’ death. Funny, I’m pretty sure that’s going to be Aglaonice’s role.

Two days later, Orpheus is increasingly obsessed with the poetry from the mysterious radio and its odd messages. While Eurydice seems to mock this obsession, Orpheus also seems to be far too enraptured in it. But, interestingly, the messages seem to be coming from nowhere known. However, it’s all beginning to affect their marriage greatly.

On the phone, the Inspector comes calling, and Eurydice asks Heurtebise to answer the phone. He does so, and soon after, we see the phone float into place, as if placed there by a ghost. That’s confirmed as Heurtebise phases to the outside from nothing, where he meets Orpheus and informs him of the message. The two decide to head to the Inspector in his car, rather than the mysterious talking car.

While Orpheus goes through town, looking for the Princess rather than the Inspector, there’s something that I wanted to mention here. Call it an interpretation. Apparently, Heurtebise is often considered an angel by critics and interpreters. However, I’m gonna suggest that he’s actually supposed to be a representation of Hermes, the messenger god and a psychopomp who escorted souls to the Underworld. Not sure about the Princess yet, but Cocteau apparently never meant for her to be portrayed as actual death. Interesting.

Meanwhile, at the Inspector’s office, both Aglaonice and Orpheus’ poet friends (supposedly) are accusing Orpheus of being involved in Jacques’ disappearance. The Inspector turns them away, just as Heurtebise and Orpheus reconvene in town. While Orpheus didn’t find the Princess, Heurtebise says that she came by, saying that he could stay with the married couple for now.

Speaking of the Princess, we see her at night, staring over Orpheus. And her eyes are...strange. They seem artificial, and it bothers the EVER-LOVING SHIT out of me. And the whole affair isn’t helping Eurydice either, as she’s tired of Orpheus’ obsession with the car, and is planning on going to Aglaonice for advice. Heurtebise tries to stop her from doing so, but she insists. But when she goes...the motorcyclists come for her. And she’s dead. As proven when the Princess arrives through the mirror.

Alongside her comes Jacques, acting as the Princess’ servant. She notes to him that their work isn’t easy, and couldn’t be done if she were dressed in the way the humans portray her. So, she is seemingly Death, or at least an aspect of Death. Obviously, as we’re talking about the Greek story, we can assume that she’s meant to be Hades in particular. But, we’ll see. It’s also confirmed, by the way, that the mysterious messages are indeed Jacques’ poetry, recited by him on the radio waves from beyond the grave. Neat.

Heurtebise is clearly upset with what’s just happened to Eurydice. He asks if the Princess actually had orders to kill Eurydice. She avoids the question, and guesses correctly that Heurtebise has fallen in love with Eurydice. He confirms this, and counters with the fact that the Princess has seemingly fallen in love with ORPHEUS. The plot fucking THICKENS.

Good place to pause, I think. Halfway mark and all. See you in Part Two!

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Argumentative essay

Nuclear weapons in our world

By: Emanuel Muñoz, Dulce María Alegría, Sara Mayor, Ana Sofia Tenorio and Juan Camilo Muñoz

Weapons, nuclear security, radioactive, offensive nuclear force, nuclear treatments, bunkers, all this are words that when we hear them, we associated with destruction. But as we know, today great changes have been seen in humanity, one of those are the governments. New security methods have been improved, also as weapons, this leads to new requirements and uses (roles) for nuclear weapons. Nuclear weapons are important to reduce tension, however, if they are not used well, they can affect the environment.

Nuclear weapons have changed in many things. Things like the technology that is incorporated into the weapons year after year, as well as that, the importance it has in terms of national security. Although it is known that nuclear weapons have not been used since the end of the cold war, they continue to play a very important role in National Security. Due to the presence and fear that these weapons produce, they are used against the other country. Once again, we can see the importance of nuclear weapons in treaties (agreement or arrangement made by negotiation) between countries such as, the United States and Russia, as demonstrated with Anti-Ballistic Missile. "Some important changes have already taken place. By mutual consent, the Anti-Ballistic Missile (ABM) Treaty of 1972 was terminated by the United States and Russia"(Schneider, 2004). A change that has been seen from the 20st century to the 21st century is greed (inordinate desire to possess wealth) for nuclear weapons, as already explained, a great change has been seen in the thinking of humanity, however it has been It is difficult to reach a single agreement between all the countries that are related on this issue.  

Nuclear weapons have had a positive effect on technology, since thanks to them we have been able to create new technology in other sectors. When we talk about nuclear weapons, all people recognize the destructive power they have, but they have helped us in many things. One of those is in the technology that is created, thanks to concepts used to create them, such as: Fusion, fission. An example of this is that thanks to the technology that was implemented in nuclear bombs in the 20th century, today 10% of the energy used in the world is made by nuclear reactors. In addition to this, nuclear weapons also have a great contribution to medicine, moreover, we able to see that nuclear weapons can also have positive effects on society. "Medical practices that use nuclear techniques can help to diagnose and treat diseases when conventional options may not be available or useful.", (Miller, 2021).  

Nuclear weapons have a very negative effect on the environment when they are used. Although nuclear weapons have some benefits, like we mentioned above, it also has many negative things, one of those things is that they have a negative impact on the environment, affecting both, nature and humans. This occurs thanks to the fact that in the development of a nuclear weapons there are many toxic substances that can generate diseases in the short, medium or long term. In addition, this substances causes the deterioration of the ozone layer about a 40% and on the poles about a 70%. Also, “These include plutonium, uranium, benzene, polychlorinated biphenyls (PCBs), strontium, cesium, mercury and cyanide. All of these materials have negative impacts on the environment and often find their way into oceans, rivers and soil harming wildlife living local to the production of the weaponry.” (Pirolini, 2014).

Finally, as human's beings we have always been in conflict for many things, such as: Economic conflicts, politic conflicts, among others. That is why United States and Russia, have packed nuclear weapons to feel the power but also in order to defend themselves, producing some altercation between countries who have a great power, while conflicts occur in which many people have been suffered, such as the cold war or world wars. As we know, at present and in the past, nuclear weapons have had good performances, causing advances in technology and medicine, but also bad, affecting the environment reaching uninhabitable levels in places where they are used. Since not all things always have their good side, they can reach uncontrollable levels, for that reason, through these years the mentality of humanity had change,  this help to the world for be able to live in a better way, and most importantly, that people are consistent with the actions they decide to do. In addition, if we don’t change now probably in the future the world is going to be destroyed due to wars and nuclear weapons, thus we should use that intelligence we have and instead of destroying us we should use it to benefit us. The humanity.

References:

JR., W. S. (2004). A 21st-Century Role for Nuclear Weapons. Obtained from issues in science and technology: https://issues.org/schneider/

Miller, K. (2021). 17 Advantages and Disadvantages of Nuclear Weapons. Obtained from Future of working: https://futureofworking.com/6-advantages-and-disadvantages-of-nuclear-weapons/

Pirolini, A. (june 10,2014). How Nuclear Warfare Affects the Environment. Obtained from Azo cleantech: https://www.azocleantech.com/article.aspx?ArticleID=381#:~:text=Nuclear%20Weapons&text=These%20include%20plutonium%2C%20uranium%2C%20benzene,the%20production%20of%20the%20weaponry