#and the warlock lady wants ronan as far away from astarion as possible as much as possible
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jacqcrisis · 29 days ago
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The post game idea I had for Ronan and Astarion is after a few years of adventuring and looking for a solution to vampirism, they get a proposition from a mutual high-level adventurer they've had dealings with before. She's a dragonborn warlock needing someone to moonlight as her husband on a trip back to Tymanther to make nice with her clan to get a hold of some relic or artifact or WHATEVER. DOESNT MATTER.
What matters is that she asks Astarion to be her 'husband' for the trip since her clan won't let her back into their home without one, hes overdramatic enough naturally to pass for a dragonborn, and since he doesnt know shit about the culture, he can be molded easier into passing for someone of a higher ranking clan than a lowborn weirdo like Ronan who would give the game away within ten minutes of opening his mouth. Astarion will be changed under True Polymorph for the time into a living dragonborn and, once she has her macguffin and they return to Fae'run, she'll use the same spell to change him into the living version of himself permanently. Simple as.
It takes some thinking for both Ronan and Astarion to come to a decision. The trip will be long, months to even a year, and all that time, they wont be making much of an income on top of being half a world away from home. Ronan isnt too keen on returning to his country of origin and Astarion certainly isnt too happy about having to spend so damn long as a lizard. There's a lot of debating, arguing, but this warlock is the only person that they can trust they've found capable and willing to cast the spell and the closest they've gotten to a solution to vampirism that seemingly has no downsides, so they agree.
Before the trip even starts, Astarion is changed in order to get him used to both living and a new body as they make the long trek to Tymanther. He takes to it as well as one would expect: doing just fine while also finding as many reasons to complain about it as he can. It's an adjustment getting used to just the sensation of his heart beating again, the general ebb and flow of biological processes, being warm all on his own, and the dysmorphia when he looks in the mirror to see a dragonborn instead of what he expects, but it's so much more comfortable and right in comparison to undeath.
Now, since Astarion needs to be her husband, one of the stipulations from the warlock is that he and Ronan are not together in any respect for the trip. Ronan is Astarion's bodyguard for this journey and anything closer than that could jeopardize the whole plot given they'll be surrounded by judging scrutinizing vultures looking for any cracks in the warlock's tale and an excuse to kick her to the curb and exile her from the macguffin she needs. Normally this wouldn't be an issue for Astarion, but there's a curious new problem that crops up when his heart is beating once more.
Love and attraction are very numb emotions when one's body is mostly dead. While he knows he loves Ronan mentally, it is not a physical feeling for him. Until he's breathing again and all of a sudden he's got butterflies in his gut when Ronan's around, he's warm when the cleric looks at him, sweating, flushed, shivering when there's a brush of a hand on him, and just thinking about speaking to him makes him smile like a moron despite himself.
Astarion can't stop looking at him. Can't stop wanting Ronan near him. Burning for him in a way he didn't before and its like he's falling in love both again and for the first time. And oh boy, does he hate that considering he can't do anything about it lest he lose his chance to get back to being himself.
That's the setup. Astarion's first taste of being not a vampire comes with being forced into a body that isn't his as he plays mental chess with a bunch of dragonborn to earn his living body back and while he's fighting with Love and Yearning in a physical sense for the first time. Theres a lot of politics, and weird magic mutants, and making googly eyes at each other over dinner, and eventually, Ronan and Astarion break and have a night together, fucking everything up. But then they get the macguffin anyways through their own means and escape and Astarion gets to be a real elf boy again.
Oh and Gale is there too. Because you gotta take your wizard on a walk every now and then to a fucked up displaced lizard continent or he'll start clawing at the walls and doing magical environmental terrorism.
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