#and the truth is unless you worked on the game or are close with someone who did. you simply do not know what went into its development

[translucio]

i agree with a lot of veilguard critique, but some people are saying things that make it very obvious that they have no idea what it takes to develop and ship a AAA game and little if any respect for the people who do that work. i think it's fine to criticize narrative and gameplay choices, and fine to object to public quotes from people like busch and epler. but don't make assumptions about their lack of knowledge or expertise, or about how obviously they could've just done x y z. especially if you have not studied or been involved in commercial game development yourself.

[blvdheart]

ALL THAT GRACE, ALL THAT BODY

→ you wash the grime off your boyfriend’s body after he returns from a mission!!

CW: x gn!reader, fluff, established relationship, i think that’s it!!

WC: 800+

NOTE: i didn’t really imagine this with any leon in particular ˃ᴗ˂ just a short fic hehe i haven’t really written anything in a while…let there be no typos

MASTERLIST

Kissing and sex can be casual, in some cases. Hook up culture and games like seven minutes in heaven and truth or dare allow for them to be. In the heat of the moment, specks of unique imperfections are completely missed.

There is nothing casual, however, about the act of running your hands through someone’s skin and hair with the intent of cleaning them and nurturing them back to a better state. It’s the exact scene that played behind a particular shower curtain.

A chaste kiss was pressed against the mole on his neck, and another one landed on the healed up scar tissue on his shoulder. Steamy water washed away your gentle touches, leaving a blank canvas for you to adorn with affection over and over again.

For the most part, Leon didn’t speak much during this unless you voiced the thoughts in your head, he was too caught up in enjoying your caresses. The only think he requested was for there to be no talks about his missions and work while in the shower, he wanted to focus on you and not the hell he just returned from. Thankfully, he didn’t return too battered up this time. Just a couple nips and bruises, nothing fractured or broken like other unfortunate times.

His skin was already reddening just a tinge from the temperature, similar to the shade he turned whenever you littered gentle nips against his neck. But he always asked for the water to be turned up high, he was used to it. Before he met you he had felt so lonely and hot water had always been a comfort for him. Plus, colder water just reminded him of when he’d try to sober up after some drinks, terrible terrible times.

“You know the drill! Close your eyes for me.”

His eyelashes fluttered as he followed your instructions. Hands perched themselves on your hips so he wouldn’t lose his balance. You began threading your shampoo lathered palms and fingers through his hair, gently rubbing his scalp.

“Mm…” He purred contentedly, his tense shoulders relaxing. Leon was almost tempted to slump against you, would you hold him until the end of times? He’d like to think the answer is yes. “You should work in one of those uh…what’s the name? Those…head spa places? You’d put others out of business.”

“Yeah? Does it really feel that good?”

“Y’know, you ask me that every time, hell yes. Feels like my brain is turning to mush. Careful sweetheart, I might just topple over you.”

“Pfft.”

You pushed all his hair back. He looked otherworldly. One look at him, and no one would believe that he’s a man keeping the world safe with a mountain’s weight of survivor’s guilt on his shoulders. How could he look so tranquil?

It was no use, you shook the thought away. You’d ask him another time.

“It kinda pisses me off how good-looking you are.” You whisper to him, washing the residue of shampoo off your hands before cupping his face. Once upon a time, his cheeks had been more sunken in. But they had gotten fuller being in a relationship with you.

“When did you become such a flatterer?” He asked, the corner of his lips twitching into a smile. Just a subtle one.

“I dunno, maybe the moment I laid eyes on you.” You tug him more towards the water, washing away the shampoo from his hair as he lowered his head. “I’m pretty hard to please y’know…got really high standards.”

“No way I met all of them.”

“Passed with flying colors. You raised the bar a bit, actually. Think you’ve got me wrapped around your finger for eternity.”

With a washcloth, you cleaned the expanse of his skin, leaving it smelling faintly of rosemary. Your water bill is begging you to hurry your pace, but you went as slow as a snail.

Thank God he could finally open his eyes again, there was nothing he loved more than having his sight on you.

If only you could see yourself from his perspective. He saw everything. The way you tugged your bottom lip between your teeth while you did your best to wash around one of his wounds, you didn’t need to be so gentle with him but you were anyway, and the glimmer in your eyes when you took a brief peek at his face.

“Sorry, baby…” Your murmur was accompanied by a wince when you thought you rubbed too harshly. It felt like a tickle to him though, nothing more, and he reassured you of that.

One minute turned into five, then five into ten, then ten into fifteen. Ten of those minutes were dedicated to cherishing the body that belonged to the recipient of your adoration.

The white noise of running water came to an end with a twist of your wrist. He pulled you close, curling his fingers under your jaw as he leaned in to kiss your lips. It was a small token of appreciation for how tender you always were with him. Droplets from his hair fell onto you, for some reason it felt intimate. “Thanks…I feel as good as new.”

“You should get some shut eye after this, when’s the last time you slept?”

“Been a while.” God, he didn’t even remember. His assignment had been long and frankly he hadn’t had the luxury of resting.

Leon shook his head before scrunching his hair with a smaller towel that hung from the curtain rod, some of the water on his hair went flying.

“Bad dog!” You couldn’t help but giggle.

He shot you an amused huff. “Yeah yeah, my bad.”

Accepting love had been hard, but you were full of it and oh so willing to give it that Leon had grown to depend on you.

Maybe you and him were meant for one another.

[dilemmaontwolegs]

The Perfect Life || CL16 {8}

Summary: Life has flipped upside down: the people supposed to protect you hurt you and the man who hurt you protects you. Warnings: angst, fluff WC: 2.3k F1 Masterlist || One || Two || Three || Four || Five || Six || Seven || Eight Taglist: RETIRED Head over to my dedicated library blog @dilemmaslibrary and opt to get notifications from there.

Nausea churned your stomach and you were grateful dinner hadn’t been served or it would surely be making its return. Blood rushed past your ears and throbbed in your head as you tried to focus on the sheet music in front of you and not the cold touch of sweat beginning to coat your skin.

“Don’t fuck this up,” your mother warned.

You vividly remembered the last time you messed up, fumbling over the tune in front of her friends. She had sent them on their way to the pool house bar and the moment the door closed she slammed the lid of the piano down before you could react. You hadn’t been able to fight for weeks with the thick bandages that kept the finger splints in place.

With trembling hands you lifted the lid that protected the ivory keys from dust. It weighed more than it looked and your eyes scanned the wood for any sign of the blood that had stained it. There was no point searching for something that couldn’t be seen, you found the housekeepers were able to clean blood out of anything.

“You’re shaking,” Charles whispered as he took a seat on the bench with you. His hands took yours and concern bled into his green eyes.

“I’m fine, I just need to get this right. It has to be perfect.”

He frowned at the detached tone and let you pull your hands free, but he didn’t leave as you raised your hands to the keys and stared vacantly at the music book on the shelf. Fingers he had seen clenched tight into fists and fighting with raw strength now moved delicately across the keys and your eyes closed. To anyone in the room it would look serene, divine even, but close up Charles could see the shimmering of tears beneath the lashes.

Something, or someone, had utterly broken the woman beside him and Charles found out just how much he could truly hate when he looked up to see your mother. Her watchful eyes were eager but it wasn’t for the music. The eyes that were the same exact shade as yours were too invested in your performance. It was a stark comparison to when his mother watched him play. There was no pride, merely cold calculations and the anticipation of a mistake.

“Shit,” you cursed under your breath as your little finger seized up and failed to reach the key needed.

Fire ignited in your mother’s eyes at the mistake, not that anyone else would have caught it unless they were pianists too. Cruel intentions played across her face as Charles shifted closer on the seat and reached for your hand, slipping his beneath yours and taking over the piece, finishing it almost perfectly.

“Such a delightful duet,” your mother clapped, accepting the applause as if she had done the work. “Dinner will be served in a moment.”

The crowd dispersed to take their appointed seats but you couldn’t move as you sat with your hands slumped on your lap. A shadow fell across you and you tensed, waiting for the pain to come.

“Come on, baby, we’re leaving.” Charles rose to his feet and planted himself between you and your mother.

“The evening isn’t over.”

Charles curled his arm under yours and pulled you to your feet but you felt like a puppet, not in control of your own body. “It is for us, and every other evening too.”

“I don’t know what game you are playing at, boy, but she belongs to me and she isn’t going anywhere.”

“Y/N is a person, not a belonging. She isn’t a price in a deal or weight in a business decision.” Charles snickered as her eyes widened. “Yes, I know about that. I wonder what the world would think of this family if they found out the truth too.”

“You wouldn’t.”

“Try me.”

You finally had the strength to look at him and see utter seriousness set in his handsome features. He was willing to make a scene for you with some of the nations most affluent figures in the next room, but that was exactly why your mother ceded to him.

“Go,” she snapped, an angry finger pointing to the door before she stared down her nose at you. “I won’t forget this when you come crawling back to me.”

You barely spoke a word as you followed Charles outside where he called his brother. “Tur, I need a favour. Can you come and pick us up? No, we haven’t been arrested.”

You didn’t realise you were shivering until he unbuttoned his suit jacket and draped it over your shoulders. Warmth and his scent enveloped you and you immediately started to feel better, your fingers unfurling from the stiff fists they had been closed into.

“He’s going to be at least half an hour,” Charles said as he tucked his phone away and looked around, spotting curious eyes watching from the window. “We should get a taxi and wait somewhere else.”

“Can we walk?”

Charles glanced at your heels. “Do you want to get changed?”

You shook your head and started to make your way down the driveway. “I would say the door is already locked.”

When you reached the gates you knew Franco was already advised of your impending departure. The mountain of a man took up almost all of the security booth and his sad eyes followed each step, but you kept your head high.

“Take care of everyone for me, big guy,” you said as you passed the open gates. He gave the smallest of nods before his lips pursed and he hit the button to close the gates as he had been ordered.

“You’re taking this rather calmly,” Charles commented as he laced his hand in yours and crossed the road to walk along the waterfront.

“I’m sure she was expecting a tantrum.” You smiled at the thought of her disappointment before a laugh bubbled up. “God, she is going to hate you.”

Charles laughed along with you and pulled you to a stop to watch the sun setting over the water. His chest pressed to your back as he held the safety rail either side of your body and his lips warmed your cheek. “She can hate me all she wants, it was worth it. You are worth it.”

You rested your head on his shoulder as the sun dipped below the horizon and sighed. “You make it hard for me to hate you.”

“Good, I don’t want you to hate me.”

With the red hues of light fading quickly you continued on the walk out of the suburbs and into the city. The smells from the fine dining establishments reminded you that you had missed dinner but when Charles asked where you would like to eat there was only one place that called to you.

“McDonalds?” he double checked, frowning as you looked up at the golden arches with what he could only imagine was childish wonder. “Wait, you’ve never had McDonalds?”

“Do they serve caviar?” you shot back.

“They might start when they see you,” he teased, pointing out how massively overdressed you were as he opened the door to the fast food chain. “After you, my lady.”

Charles could see you were uncertain of yourself as you checked what was on the menu. Your posture was relaxed but your eyes were darting around the room, taking in the exits and the other patrons who weren’t dressed nearly as nice as you. “I don’t know what to get,” you finally admitted after spending too long trying to choose one combo.

“Why don’t you go choose a table and I will order for you?”

You chose a booth in the back corner with some privacy and ignored the strange looks you were given as you walked by in a Dior gown. It was only when you sat down that you realised how silly it was to be wearing a 20 carat diamond necklace with no security personnel so you unclasped the chain and bundled it into your hands beneath the table.

A few moments later Charles arrived with a tray of food and slid in beside you.

“So we’ve got the classics: cheeseburger, Big Mac, nuggets, fries and a sundae.” He opened all the packaging and tore the top off a sauce punnet before dragging a nugget through it. “Here, sweet and sour is the best.”

You parted your lips and took a bite, surprised by how sweet and tangy the sauce was with the crunch of the crispy nugget. Your eyes widened and Charles grinned. “Good, no?”

“Holy fuck,” you moaned. “That is delicious!”

“Try this,” Charles said as he dunked a bunch of fries into the ice cream.

“Seriously?”

“Trust me.”

You were dubious but opened your mouth for the food he offered and frowned at the contradictory tastes on your tongue. Hot met cold, sweet met salty, crunchy met creamy. You didn’t hate it but couldn’t decide if you liked it either so you gave it another attempt.

Charles took a burger for himself and quietly ate while you took a bite out of everything before choosing the cheeseburger as the simplest yet satisfactory item of them all.

“It’s like watching a newborn try food for the first time,” he chuckled.

You scrunched up the paper napkin you had dabbed your lips with and tossed it at his grinning face. “Asshole.”

“What? You’re cute.”

“Thank you, you’re not too bad yourself, brother,” Arthur said as he dropped into the booth beside you and flicked a finger at the layered chiffon sleeve of your dress. “You look gorgeous.”

You tossed your hair back over your shoulder and tucked a hand under your chin with a dramatic pout. “This is the look of a homeless woman, Tur. I have nothing but my name and the clothes on my back, but your brother plans to take them both off me.”

Arthur tipped his head back with a laugh and stole the remaining chicken nuggets. “You can ditch the wedding plan now if you have been successfully thrown out. What happened anyway?”

Charles watched as you shrugged and murmured quietly, “She had me play for her important guests and I messed up.”

Arthur’s eyes narrowed and he picked up your hands, turning them over to check for any injuries. “Did she hurt you?”

You gently removed your hands and tucked them back on your lap. “Not this time, Charles intervened.”

Charles had never seen such a look of relief or gratitude from his brother and despite knowing he had done the right thing, he wished he could have done something sooner. Clearing his throat of the lump of regret that clogged it, Charles started to collect the rubbish on the table before picking up the tray.

You frowned and looked around for staff. “Isn’t someone going to do that for you?”

“Not here, no,” he said as he disposed of it himself before holding his hand out. “Ready to go home?”

Your argument to stay at the rundown factory was vetoed by both Leclercs so Arthur had driven you back to Monaco with Charles. It was strange to walk back into Charles’ apartment with your worldly possessions in a gym bag and briefly wondered if you were truly prepared for the consequences. You might act brave but there were really only two worlds you knew, the one in the gilded cage and the one in the iron cage. Both involved fighting of two very different kinds but both were for survival; of status or life.

This was foreign.

“I’ll take you shopping in the morning before we go to the track.”

You pulled the necklace from the pocket of his jacket you still wore and placed it on the table. “I don’t know how much this is worth but it’s Cartier.”

Charles frowned at the change in the confident woman he knew and he picked up the heavy chain embedded with diamonds. “You don’t have to worry about money,” he promised as he stepped behind you and clasped it around your throat. “I promised I would take care of you.”

He turned you in his arms and smiled as he ran a finger along the gems resting in the valley of your breasts. “You were born to wear diamonds.”

You couldn’t quite find the words to thank him because a simple thank you wasn’t enough so you slipped his jacket off and draped it over a chair before reaching for the hidden zip at your side. You brushed the sleeves off your shoulders and let the dress float to the floor under his watchful eyes before stepping closer. With each step another item of clothing was lost - heels, bra, panties, gone - until there was only one thing left. “The necklace?”

Charles smirked as he pulled you flush to his body and tipped your chin back to meet his darkening eyes. “Leave it on.”

[yowumi]

CONSUME ME.

— pairing. osamu dazai x reader x chuuya nakahara [bsd]

✧˚ · . warnings. minors do not interact! 18+, they are all old friends who worked for the port mafia, teasing, they have to work together for a mission, teasing, hinting of past sexual encounters, yes chuuya and dazai are on that gay shit, all characters are in their 20’s, smut.

✧˚ · . a/n. hey guys it’s aries! i just started watching bsd and i love it so far and came up with this idea while making mac and cheese so here we are lol ^-^

pt. 1 // pt. 2 (coming soon)

getting out of the port mafia is hard, but not impossible.

that’s the words you repeated to yourself the day you left, while you ran through the streets with only a bag of weapons and one spare of clothes, as you wiped out hundreds of men chasing after you with bullets shooting over your head, as you ran away from that place for good.

it’s a vivid memory, one that should be celebrated on yet it felt more like a loss, grief. as a stray away young teenager it felt like home but as you grew and matured, you couldn’t help but hate what you were doing. — did you really want to be controlled by him your whole life?

after countless attempts of leaving the port mafia in your earlier years from rebellion and wanting to ‘make a statement’ on how much he really needed you, none of your attempts had ever worked. or more so, you never let any of them work.

the acting out played out for a while, that was until new recruits joined the port mafia. two boys, one named dazai, a tall man with chocolate hair, he had such a boyish demeanor at times, yet his eyes always felt so dark, deprived of the light. the other was named chuuya, a blunt man filled with pride and slight temperament when accompanied dazai. you can’t deny they complimented each other well. despite the circumstances of the port mafia’s harsh nature, seeing the two bicker and argue like teenagers felt refreshing. It was something you hadn’t experienced in a long time.

the two boys were accompanied by you after then, you three became quite close over time, sharing teenage memories with each other as you grew stronger, complimenting each others abilities in combat. although dazai rarely participated in hand to hand, unless necessary.

it wasn’t until a drunken night on chuuya’s eighteenth birthday that the three of you had played a spicy game of truth or dare.

“is it true that your wearing a wig” chuuya grins at dazai with a teasing expression as he sips the cocktail in his hand.

you’d laugh playfully pulling on dazai’s hair, earning a small wince from him.

“you can find out if it’s the real thing tonight when your pulling on it” he cheekily remarks.

“yeah right as if” chuuya rolls his eyes.

and it didn’t take long before the little brain cells left inside you from the alcohol began forming like a lightbulb turning on in your head.

“let’s spice this game up a bit, truth or dare but if you chicken out, you’ve gotta strip!” you presented to them excitedly and dazai claps with approval. chuuya on the other hand sighs in approval.

let’s just say by the end of the night, the three of you were stripped down to your undergarments, after many requests of pranking the boss, which no one had the balls or idiocy of doing even while drunk.

“truth or dare?” you asked chuuya.

“truth”

“is it true that you’re a virgin?” you blurted out without thinking, you were all very close so you didn’t think much of asking personal questions.

unexpectedly, his cheeks turned a light shade of red as he looked away huffing as he stared at his underwear being the only piece of clothing left on his body. “dazai close your eyes, don’t wanna hurt your ego” chuuya snarks at him implying he doesn’t want to answer which only makes dazai’s eyes widen.

“wow, with someone with such a big talking game, you still haven’t managed to get your dick wet yet?” he teased.

“wait you’re being serious chuuya?” you furrow your eye brows at him.

“i’ve done other things, don’t go pinning me as a plane jane alright, i just haven’t had sex that’s all” he admits, “dazai are you even one to talk! i doubt any women would want to do anything with you considering how much you rant about suicide!”

“perhaps your right” he says casually before his eyes lighten with an idea, “y/n, truth or dare?” he asks, suddenly excited making you worried. dazai thinking was never a good thing.

“fuck it, dare”

a smirk appears on his face as he looks at chuuya and you, “I dare you to take his virginity”

chuuya and your face widen as a blush creeped upon the two of your faces. suddenly feeling a bit nervous, “I, uh-“ you stutter, not knowing whether that would be okay to do with your friend. you wouldn’t mind, and of course you knew the two of your friends were very attractive so can’t deny sexual thoughts have crossed your mind late at night when you laid alone in bed but this all seemed so fast, faster than your brain could keep up.

dazai leans into you, slightly holding your waist firmly and pressing his lips near your ear whispering, “oh and let’s not forget that whoever chickens out has to strip” he emphasizes the word strip. “and from what i see, you only have your bra and panties left, i don’t think it’s smart to leave yourself vulnerable like that in front of two men…especially in this state…” he turns his gaze down to his briefs making you look down with him, noticing the bulge popping out against his leg while he looks back to chuuya who’s noticeably hard. you hadn’t even realized it before.

that night you had took chuuya and dazai’s virginity, and they took yours. it was a day you couldn’t seem to forget no matter how drunk you were. the line between the three of you was crossed and it never went back, making it ritual that the three of you were together in all ways.

that was until dazai left a few months later.

after he left, he didn’t leave any trace, no warning, nothing. if it weren’t for a report sent back after weeks of looking for him that he was surely alive but he didn’t want to come back.

chuuya and you grew distant after the fact. instead of the light mood and energy that you two were usually surrounded by, it felt as if the two of you were grieving dazai. not just as a friend, but as a partner.

for the last year you stayed in the port mafia, which was about a year after dazai had left, you and chuuya would spend nights together in your shared apartment, the apartment all three of you used to share.

it always hit the two of you at night that he wasn’t there, that’s when you and chuuya were brought together. silently, whether it was searching for comfort as you held each other as you slept, or angry sex from the frustration of work and the loss of dazai, or looking at each other with understanding, understanding of the same feeling brought upon both of you.

you had made a promise that you would tell him if you were planning to leave the port mafia.

you broke that promise when you had proceeded in refusing to help bomb an orphanage, not wanting to cause harm to children, that was always where you crossed the line. that was always the hard topic for you and you had thought that was something you and the port mafia had agreed on. you were wrong and no isn’t an answer in the port mafia. you were informed by one of your colleagues that they planned on assassinating you, for your disobedience as it was a very important mission needed to be done, something only you could pull off with your strategic planning and stealthy combat skills.

you had no time to leave, it was urgent and non negotiable. if you hadn’t left at that exact moment, you were surely going to be executed.

so you ran.

and you didn’t stop until you knew you couldn’t be found. you tried to find comfort working underground, doing some dirty work, something you were already familiar with. you worked for a on the low agency that helped take down dangerous organizations. it was like the fbi except…the government was some of the people you were mainly trying to take out…

after time of building a name for yourself in the under world, being the go to for underground highly advanced assassinations on huge corporations, ones nobody could dream of touching. your ability allowed you to remain invincible, not physically but not a single soul has been able to sense your presence, you didn’t have any fingerprints or bodily identification that could be left behind. you were the definition of stealth which made you dangerous yet wanted by many.

it didn’t take long for you to have everything you wanted, from where you sat, the port mafia couldn’t take you down unless they gave it their all, same as dazai. they knew it would be a means to war if they were to force us back. a war they wouldn’t be able to win.

you couldn’t deny that it felt lonely, the years you spent alone. you tried looking for chuuya, you watched over him, sometimes you would even stalk him trying to figure out what he was up to these days. dazai on the other hand, you somehow couldn’t find yourself to look for him.

dazai was being looked for, they were trying to bring him back, they wanted him. If he left, it was only because he wanted to.

there was always something so distant about him, he kept up such an act that made him seem okay constantly, never letting his guard down. yet, something about him always felt distant, as if he was right there yet meteors away.

for years, the silent distance between the three of you marinated, not having any connection between each other, no communication, nothing.

that was until 3 years later, you were informed that chuuya and dazai had a little reunion, without you.

you stared blankly at the report given to you of the information, not knowing how to feel towards the situation. pictures were provided and you can’t deny that they aged well. dazai grew a few inches, he wore lighter clothes now, taking on a more casual look rather than the edgy one he wore as a teen. chuuya on the other hand hadn’t grown much since, although his face matured more and his hair grew out a bit, you also recognize he took on a better sense of style.

you put the paper down and threw it in the trash.

their reunion had nothing to do with you, therefore you should be kept uninterested. the past is in the past.

a few days later you had received a visitor at home in the middle of the night, which was rare because you didn’t receive house visits. you grabbed your gun from your night table making your way towards the presence you heard near the kitchen. looking around for any sign of life, you pointed your gun up before being blinded by the lights turning on in the darkness of the night. you quickly gained your composure before you felt a warm body behind you and a hand coming towards yours which was holding the gun.

bandages.

you knew who’s hand that was, you knew that hand all too well. your legs felt the sudden urge to weaken and your breath hitched as you felt him inches away behind you. feeling his breath against your ear as you felt him lean in, “you didn’t think i’d forget about you, did you?” he let out a soft chuckle against your ear as he took the gun from you.

“how did you get in here dazai” you say bluntly not daring to turn around to look at him, in fear of losing your composure, or perhaps your sanity in this case.

this seemed funny to him and you realize how stupid the question is. — why wouldn’t he be able to get in here?

you grew with annoyance swiftly pulling a move fast enough for you to take out a small knife from under the small shorts you were wearing and backed him into a corner, pointing the weapon towards his neck.

“why are you here.” you finally look him in his eyes for the first time in years, taking in the close proximity between the two of you.

“would you believe me if i said a friendly reunion over some drinks?” he teased, “i came back because…” he leans in closely knowing you wouldn’t kill him, “i need you.” he whispered in almost a whine, one you were familiar with.

you were taken by surprise by his words about to kick him in the nuts for his stupidity before a voice comes out from the back.

“you shouldn’t tease dazai, you know that only results in punishment” chuuya’s voice echoed out from the couch that he sat splayed across on. you look up at him feeling immediately guilt in your stomach remembering how you left him.

dazai quickly notices this trying to change the conversation with the mention of drinks. “you must have some type of alcohol in the house, right?” he starts searching and rampaging through your cabnits as he looks for any sign of alcohol.

“aha!” he lifts up an old bottle of wine that hasn’t been opened pulling the lid off effortlessly as he cheered.

you go sit down on the couch next to chuuya where he stares silently at you, “been a while” he says barely making eye contact with you.

“yeah..” you say awkwardly, not knowing what to say. you figured you would tell him you were sorry now while you have the chance as dazai is distracted, “listen, i’m sorry about how i left, i just-“ you were cut off by chuuya.

“don’t worry about it, i’m not holding grudges” he says giving you a slight comforting smile in the best way he can considering his usual blunt and annoyed manner.

you smile back as you two sit in silence, taking each other’s in as you looked at each others new appearances with age and maturity.

looking at him from up close forced you to really look at him and his features, taking in the way his eyes slightly softens when dazai speaks to him from the kitchen or how he plays with the rings on his fingers as he speaks, when you really took the time to look at him, you couldn’t help but be mesmerized by him.

stealing you away from your thoughts, dazai awakened you from your gaze when he calls your name out for what must have been a few times now asking if you want him to serve you a cup, you nod in reply.

as dazai sits down, placing the cups filled to the brim with liquor on the small coffee table that laid in the middle of your nearly empty apartment.

“you should get plants or something ya know, it’s so depressing in here, your house looks like the inside of a grandmas vagina” dazai speaks freely — as always, when does he not?

“how the hell would you know what a grandmas vagina looks like?” you furrow your eye brows at a cheeky dazai, giggling in response.

“i’ve been around, the ladies love me ya know” he sarcastically brags, as chuuya shoots him looks of judgement with a small scoff, “you disgust me.” he takes a sip of his drink.

times like these reminded you of your teenage years, memories that made your time serving the mafia feel not so bad.

“you never answered my question…” you’re still curious as to why they came back to you after years, it was all so sudden. there had to have been a reason, right?

chuuya gives dazai a look emphasizing that he should tell her, dazai rolls his eyes in defeat. he really hated having to change the mood.

“the port mafia are planning to hunt you down so until further notice, i was informed that i needed to take you in so you can receive protection from the angency.” he says taking a sip from his cup.

you look towards chuuya, “and you?” you ask.

his face flushes just for a moment before looking down almost in embarrassment, “…i uh volunteered or whatever..” he looks away.

your face grew with concern coming closer to him, “wait? but that would be a betrayal to the port mafia, would it not?”

he looked up at you, “yeah but it’s fine.” he says plainly trying not to make a big deal out of it. “dazai dragged me into it anyways, pestering me and shit” he glared at dazai sitting next to him.

“hey! you joined without hesitation, it didn’t take much convincing out of him-“ his words cut off with the slap of chuuya pushing a napkin in his mouth left with a pouty dazai.

“well i guess i don’t have much of a choice in this, do i?” you ask.

“nope.” both of them say, dazai with a grin and chuuya with annoyance.

you get up and leave the room making your way to your own bedroom, receiving confused looks and ‘huh’s from the both of them.

you come out within a few seconds with a duffel bag filled with your belongings.

“you were trained well” dazai grins.

“so where are we heading?”

.

.

.

link to part 2 (coming soon)

[adripakoffee]

I don't post on here often and by that I mean I'm on here once a month to look at writing prompts but right now I'm thinking of Anya from Mouthwashing, and Tumblr is better for long form posts. Apologies if this rant isn't super clear, I'm on pain meds right now.

CW: S/A, SUICIDE, OVERDOSE, MOUTHWASHING SPOILERS

Anyway, Anya very well may be one of the most doomed characters to ever doom. Firstly she's trapped in a relatively small space ship with 4 men, who she has to keep alive and healthy along with giving them periodic mental wellness checks (which she, herself never gets). Two of these men don't take her seriously at all because she probably doesn't actually have a medical degree and is just someone the company hired to cut corners. If that wasn't all ready awful, the co-captain, Jimmy, has been assaulting her since at least the start of this voyage that's been going on for 100+ days. She falls pregnant because of this and while this isn't where her spiral started, this is where it gets worse. She originally plans to kill herself with the Captain's gun, but decides against it since she can't get to the gun without Curly's help anyway.

Speaking of Curly, he knows what's been going on, she told him about Jimmy a while before the crash. Every time, Curly says "I'll do something about it," or "I'll fix this," but the most he does is keep Jimmy away from Anya when they're working. Anya seems fine with that for the most part because I think she assumes Curly will report Jimmy and have him arrested when they land (he won't, at this point in the game he'd defend Jimmy for anything because "he sees the best in people. He loves to say "our worst moments don't define us" and apparently that extends to r@pe). So at this point, she's biding her time until they land.

Back to the gun, when Curly finds her holed up in the cockpit, she tells him she's pregnant. He's a little taken aback but he tries to reassure her that it's fine and he'll fix the "situation" with Jimmy. He says he can't let her kill herself because he does actually care about her. One of his flaws is he cares about everyone so much he can't imagine compromising one of them for any reason. Anya tells him she wasn't going to hurt herself, though she thought about it, she just hid the gun case so Jimmy couldn't kill her instead. She's so convinced Jimmy just wants to kill and torment her when the sad truth is, he couldn’t care less.

In all of Jimmy's "take responsibility" hallucinations, Anya barely shows up. Swansea, Curly, and Daisuke do, but he can't bring himself to even recognize what's happened to Anya is also solely his fault. He doesn't care at all.

Speaking of which, what seems the straw that breaks the camel's back for Jimmy is Anya telling him that she's pregnant because he crashes the ship pretty sure after. And this really seems like a spur of the moment action because if he'd planned this he could've done it much earlier after the news of the company closing reached them.

Curly says Anya should've waited for him to help her tell Jimmy about the pregnancy, but that doesn't matter because he is put out of commission like (I forgot if it's a day later or the same day) later because he's in the cockpit when the ship crashes.

Now Anya has no hope, Jimmy knows she's pregnant, the seemingly one line of defense she has against him can't leave his bed, and they're stuck in space. She's terrified because not only because of that, but because Jimmy is captain now and because of the way the ship is set up, you need the captain for a lot of things. Jimmy being captain also means if he finds the gun case, he now has the code to open it.

Anya, being the ships medic, is tasked with keeping Curly alive and giving him his meds. It's really difficult for her, A. because Curly is hard to look at, B. because unless he's full of pain meds, he's making noise, and C. because that was her friend and one of the only people she felt safe around and he's been reduced to this. And from her perspective, this is his fault, Curly crashed the ship.

This situation is stressful for everyone, Swansea has reverted back to alcoholism and never drops the ax he has, Daisuke is slowly losing hope and also starts drinking, and Jimmy won't stop yelling at her. He's so pissed at her the entire game, more so than everyone else. She was already scared of him but before there was at least a light at the end of the tunnel. Now there's nothing to look forward to because she doesn't think there's any way out.

She, at some point when he's sober enough, confides in Swansea who then tells her that she's gonna be the one to get out of here. He has the one last working cryo pod set aside for her specifically and refuses to let anyone into the room where it is. Unfortunately, at this point, her anxiety concerning Jimmy is so bad, she's convinced he'd do something to the pod too.

So then Anya locks herself in the med bay with Curly and all the rest of the ships medicine (- minus the Isopropyl which she probably left for Daisuke and Swansea) and overdoses by Curly's bed. Curly was awake the whole time she went through a probably painful death. She also, as maybe a final revenge, took the last of the pain meds that were meant for Curly. And she dies right next to him.

That's where her story ends. She felt so trapped and scared by her r@pist that got her pregnant that she killed herself next to the one person who could've done something, but instead, from her perspective, trapped her with said r@pist.

She died probably hoping that Daisuke or Swansea would make it out, not knowing they died soon after.

TLDR;

So from her perspective: A guy she's been friends with for years starts repeatedly assaulting her and she's stuck with him, then he gets her pregnant. Her other friend who she tells says he'll do something about it (he won't) and she has no choice but to trust him. Then the guy she told crashes the ship they're all on and fails in taking himself out. Now she's trapped with her r@pist and she tells someone else who does actually try to do something but she kills herself instead.

Anyways guys, I'm just missing my wife, the end.

[speadrunner]

Who is (actually) the hottest Monsters & Girls character?

Link to poll: https://www.tumblr.com/idolomantises/745892368364060672

CW: This will be a long post;

(Note: this is completely for comical purposes, please don’t take this too seriously. I have all the respect in the world for @idolomantises and their work)

1. Sera

👍: Perhaps the titular character of the series, Sera is beautiful angel (literally) and is arguably the kindest character in the whole series

👎: I challenge you to draw this woman without screaming at yourself/into a pillow

2. Lili

👍: Endearing, welcoming, understanding, and can be very fun. Pretty much wears her heart on her sleeve with how open she is.

👎: Literally THE sexy character. It’s obvious why you picked her as the hottest, now go get better tastes.

3. Cheri

👍: She’s sooo soft omg. She’s so sweet you’ll have a sweet tooth just for her even if you don’t like sweets

👎: I will not talk ill of this lady because I literally cannot, but for all intents and purposes this is a contest to see who is the hottest, not the most wholesome. Sorry 🫡

4. Junior

👍: Blunt and cute, plus a goat. Cute goats are always an A+ character design. Where would we be without them tbh?

👎: Bluntness can lead to rudeness and or discomfort. Nothing super bad about Junior just prob not the best choice for this. Just sayin

5. Scylla

👍: Lord have mercy I understand where people are coming from. Hooo doggy what a woman.

👎: I can’t remember the exact post but I recall it being said that she bites your head off or something if you get too close or look at her weird. That’s no good

6. Ciel

👍: Easily one of my favorite designs. He’s definitely the prettiest boy of the entire cast

👎: One of those cases where he’s too good for you, ya know what I mean? He’s way out of your league I don’t make the rules

7. Catty

👍: Nya~ Very fashionable going off of recent appearances. Design hasn’t changed too much in comparison to others, meaning that

👎: I like dogs more, plus she’s not open with her thoughts and feelings, leading to awkward moments when she lets it all out

8: Luvart

👍: Big, beefy, strong, fire. Need I say more? She treats sex workers with respect for their profession and would be a completely package when you don’t consider…..

👎: …She has no qualms murking you just because and her greatest offense is being the arch rival of the best character a special someone

9: Adam

👍: Dude can become a dog for you to pet and is quite honest in most cases. Plus those scars look neat wouldn’t you say?

👎: Unless you are a - former angel now fallen, a TV show host, have a broken halo, while simultaneously sharing a name with a pizza company and a game tile, then you ain’t getting nothing.

10: Domino

👍: I can see why so many are stricken by this fella, he’s quite cute, quirky, and has an adorable way of being blunt

👎: (Domi- No hoes) He’s just not good enough. He seems so ideal at face value but he berates angels to the moon and back and for what? His fault for his own downfall.

With all that said, clearly the hottest character of Monsters and Girls - for appearance AND character - is obviously….

POWERS

LITERALLY PERFECTION IN ITS PUREST FORM! CHISELED LIKE A GREEK GOD(DESS), ROSE TO BE AN ANGEL - REJECTING HER DEMONIC ORIGINS, FOLKS IT JUST DOESNT. GET. BETTER!

A Vote For Powers Is A Vote For Truth, Love, And Happiness!! Vote For Powers in the Home Stretch Now!

[spawnofbhaal]

A take I've been seeing at times (which is valid, people interpret things differently) is that Rook will know the "real" Solas more than the Inquisitor did (even a romanced Lavellan) and . . . I personally don't agree. Solas the god is just as much of a mask as "I'm a simple apostate" Solas. Solas' followers in Tevinter Nights and the comics know him as Fen'Harel, but they don't know him as a person. Iirc in one of the comics (the Blue Wraith or Magekiller series maybe?) a follower of his calls him "master," which is anathema to everything Solas believes in. How much your character (Inquisitor or presumably Rook) gets to know the real him depends on the effort they put into it and the empathy they show him.

Also, the circumstances of Inquisition facilitate Solas being able to show his true personality quite well. He *has* to interact with people rather than distancing himself from them the way he did before the Conclave and after Corypheus' defeat; he is exposed to views that differ from his that he can't resist speaking against; he can form true connections with others he befriends or falls in love with. He tells romanced Lavellan they saw more of him than most, and that he would not romance them under false pretenses and pretend to be someone he isn't. I take these statements at face value because I think his writer is trying to tell us Solas is genuine with romanced Lavellan (as they have said to fans in the past). The man who loves telling stories, who hates tea and loves frilly cakes, who kisses with tongue, who lights his own coat on fire sometimes, that is the real Solas. The Inquisitor just has to pay attention to see it.

While someone's history is an important part of who they are, and I'm sure we will discover a lot about Solas' past in Veilguard, a person is also not entirely defined by their history. Solas' past and present godlike power is also not what defines him as a person. The impression I got from Trespasser is that even though Fen'Harel is an important part of who Solas is, at the center of it all, he's just a man. Fen'Harel was a title forced upon him, as Inquisitor was forced on our protagonist. I don't think Solas' entire personality is going to change just because he's taken on the mantle of Fen'Harel again now. And I don't think he will be entirely transparent with Rook, not unless they work hard for his trust over the course of the game. I actually expect Solas to start off as more cold and closed off than in DAI because he isn't in a situation where he has to act friendly.

I somewhat resent the implication that Solas as he has already shown himself to be in DAI is not the real Solas, that romanced!Lavellan only loves him as the apostate hobo when the whole point of the romance is Lavellan seeing past the disguise. And Lavellan learns the truth of him being Fen'Harel in Trespasser (Lavellan can even piece it together by themselves before they confront Solas!!!) and can still be in love with him ("If you had just told me;" "I loved you. Did you really think I wouldn't have understood?"; "I would have had you trust me"). Honestly, I think that's why the romance works at all: Solas was in a situation where he could show his genuine personality, and that's what Lavellan falls in love with. Not an idealized humble woodsman, nor a powerful godlike being, but a flawed, conflicted person. I don't know how it gets more "real" than that.

[lukolabrainrot]

Calm theory anon here 🩷

I wanted to come on here to just remind people of a couple things. First of all, none of us are delusional. There has been plenty of people that have worked beside L and N who have made comments about them being in love. The other shippers want to make it like we are crazy. I have a couple truths though to remind them. How do we know when a celebrity is dating someone? The their team will make an official announcement normally done through a well-known magazine. Or more recently, you will see a post on social media that declares some with type of love between the two people. We never got any type of confirmation of any type of relationship between any of the "supposed" couples. Luke and Nic are allowed to hang out with the same group of people. They're allowed to hold hands with the opposite gender in big crowds. I've said this before and I'm gonna say it 1000 more times if I have to. These fan accounts that are giving people in Luke or Nic life a title before nic or Luke have given them one they are in the wrong. In your personal life, there are all types of people. Some people that you were extremely close to that are like family. Some people that you are acquaintances of. But if I'm looking at a complete strangers life. I don't know who that person represents in their life. It's one thing to theorize and make assumptions but to give titles that isn't our job. Now in the end of the day, Nic is going to hang out with JD. That is her friend unless she says otherwise. That doesn't mean that she's dating him. It's also OK that she hangs out with or tags him in pictures. We all know that each ship is going to justify being on their ship. So you're going to see comments that make you think that maybe JD is more than a friend. But Nicola is a grown woman. She can speak for herself. if she's dating anyone, she'll say it when she's ready. Personally I think the time article speaks volumes. The two people that she spoke on in that article are her dad that she clearly holds in a very high regard and Luke. So don't let the noise of the other ship affect your gut instincts.

Exactly!

Y'all I'm frustrated too... I want answers just as much as everyone, but we don't know these people. I'm not exactly a big fan of these SM games either, but we just have to be patient and see what happens...

But again, that Time article came out YESTERDAY. And it spoke VOLUMES.

[venerawrites]

Ooh my goodness I saw your post about Sasuke bringing back his S/O from the dead and the brainrot worms just immediately clocked in 😵‍💫 Please please give us a short fic about it! Specifically with the side effects//struggles of bringing someone back from the dead like memory loss, struggle to speak bc of either the previously mentioned memory loss or simple damage to their vocal cords (Ooor I mean, if you wanna go deep into angst bringing out the fact cognitive abilities being damaged at least for a while and the amount of pain they'd feel so they're dependent on him is also fair game)

Another fact that is just VERY angst filled is if they're brought back against their will but unless Sasuke let them go they're stuck there forever

I'll leave it up to you to decide how you wanna go about it though! thank u for your absolute god-like work as always! muah! 😚

author's note: Our brainrot worms must be in sync because the moment I saw your request, this fic basically 'wrote itself'! Thank you so much for the idea and I really hope I did your request justice! <3 <3

warnings: Sasuke is a bit yandere and maybe ooc, but isn't he always? ; death; revival; blood

Wanna know a secret?

People used to say that there was a never chance for me. That with everything that happened - the massacre, the lies, the hatred - I was always bound to become a monster. Poor little boy that witnessed the slaughter of his own family and spend years chasing the shadow of his brother, while slowly drowning in his own self-pity and anger.

But the truth is that it wasn't Itachi or Konoha that made me that way.

It was you.

You, who broke through the walls I've been building for years, leaving me raw and exposed. You, who believed that I could've been... should've been different. You gave me hope, you made me believe that maybe, just maybe, there is a chance for me.

For us.

And suddenly you left me. All alone, like I always have been.

I know you are not going to like what I am about to do. If you were here, you would tell me that this isn't the way. That I am not the person I was before that I am making a mistake by trying to bring you back. You would look at me with those innocent eyes of yours, before lacing your fingers with mine and tell me that I have to let you go.

But you are not here, are you?

Not yet, at least.

And you know I can't let you go. Not now, not ever.

If the cost of having you in my arms again is my soul, I would pay it. If it means burning the world and the heavens, then so be it. I will destroy it all - time, death and everything that separates us - till nothing remains but you and me.

. . .

i.

"-Edu Tensei is the only way-"

The cold edge of Sasuke's blade pressing against his throat was enough of unspoken warning for the white-haired male to know this was not the right answer to the demand he had just received. Closing his eyes, he tried to steady his breathing without letting his composure crack.

This was far from the first time he found himself on the receiving end of Sasuke's anger. Yet this time it felt... different.

Kabuto has spend enough years with the Uchiha to understand how he worked. Despite his cold and stoic demeanor, he had always possessed a dangerously short fuse. The slightest provocation, especially if it was connected to his past, was enough to ignite an inferno of rage. The Yakushi man has observed his evolution firsthand - from a grumpy boy hungry for revenge to a deadly shinobi, who kept swinging back and forth on the edge of his crumbling sanity.

The ninja that stood before him was a version of Sasuke that he has never seen before. There was no fire behind his gaze, only empty, glowing voids, so cold that Kabuto couldn't help but feel a shiver run down his spine. Unlike the last time he saw him during the war, he looked cold, calculated and controlled.

Too controlled for the white-haired man's liking.

"Sasuke, you have to understand there are limits-"

"I understand more than you think", Sasuke interrupted, his right eye glowing with the Sharingan, while his left one remained hidden, "If Edo Tensei is your only answer, then I have no use of you. You are wasting my time."

The blade was lifted only for a second from Kabuto's throat before it flew toward his Adam's apple. He felt the cold tip slicing his skin, a few drops of warm crimson red blood falling on the floor.

"Wait!", Kabuto blurted out, his head falling back against the wall in a desperate attempt to create some distance between his body and the sword.

Sasuke's hand immediately stopped, but the cold metal did not move away from the cut it has created. Instead, it stayed in place, getting painted in red, while Sasuke his head in a silent command for Kabuto to speak.

"There may be another way...", the Yakushi gulped, his voice barely above a whisper. The Uchiha leaned forward, his only visible eye narrowing just the slightest as he studied the older man's face.

Looking at him almost two years after their last battle, Sasuke felt the bitter taste of anger and desperation mixing in his mouth. How could Kabuto, of all people, be the only person who could help him bring you back? The idea of having his sleazy hands touching your body, experimenting on it... The mere image of him being close to you made him naseous.

Yet he was the one who came here and demanded help. Much to his displeasure, he had no one else to turn to. Orochimaru had left the village, but even if he was here, it was the case that his student has surpassed him long time ago.

"I am giving you ten seconds to explain, before I slash your throat and hang you on this wall to bleed out."

The threat was clear and final, making Kabuto nod his head in a weak agreement. Once the blade was removed from his throat, his fingers immediately moved to touch the cut from which there were still dripping red drops. He pressed his hand against his neck in an attempt to stop the bleeding, while his mind rushed through different possibilities of how to handle the situation.

On one hand, just like Sasuke, he was pardoned for his crimes and was given a second chance to rebuild his life in Konoha. He was a carer in the local orphanage and for the first time since he could remember, he felt somewhat... satisfied. It wasn't his dream job, but it was a job and it was the first step to clearing his image.

On the other hand, he was wise enough not to underestimate the things an Uchiha is ready to do, especially in the name of love.

"It is not a technique I've ever tried before...", Kabuto finally said, his fingers tightening around his throat, "It is a theory I was working on right before the war started. It goes beyond a simple reanimation and unlike Edo Tensei, it does not have any limitation. Once they are back... they will be fully back."

"Fully back...", Sasuke repeated, testing the words on his tongue. The snake-like man in front of him nodded his head, his free hand lifting up to fix the glasses on the tip of his nose.

"With their own will, thoughts and emotions", Kabuto confirmed, one of his eyebrows raising just the slightest, "It will be as if their death never happened. But.."

"But what?", he snapped through gritted teeth. Of course, nothing was ever simple or straightforward with the white-haired shinobi. For all the knowledge and skills he had, he never made anything easy, even when he was serving other people in the past. And while he successfully managed to convince Konoha he has changed, Sasuke had enough experience living and training with him to know the truth.

A snake will always be a snake.

And the mere fact he didn't seem to even try to convince him not to meddle with the world of the dead, was enough of a sigh that his heart remain to be just as dark as it was in the past.

"Like I said, this technique works only in theory", Kabuto said slowly, his gaze moving between the two different eyes of the Uchiha in front of him, "The person that comes back may not... be the one they were before. It may also have consequences not only on them, but on everything and everyone around. Disturbing the natural flow of life like this-"

Sasuke clicked his tongue, his mouth twisting into a displeased frown.

"I didn't come to you to listen to half-hearted warnings and lectures on balance of nature", he snapped impatiently, "Do it or I will find someone else who will - and you know well enough what that means for you."

Almost as if to prove the seriousness behind his threat, the blade pressed itself against Kabuto's throat once again, before moving to the side, successfully cutting a fine line against all four knuckles of the his fingers that were still pressed against his first wound. The man let out a loud hiss, his hand jerking away instinctively.

"I will need time to prepare", he muttered, his jaw clenching in a weak attempt to try and keep his mind away from the stinging pain, "Two days at least."

Sasuke let out a small 'hm' sound, his brain processing the proposed timeline. Every ticking moment without you already felt like a whole eternity passing. Two days was too much, especially since it involved the risk of Kabuto deciding to share his demand with other people. Not that he didn't plan to deal with Konoha soon enough for what they did, but now, for the first time, there was another priority other than revenge - and that was you.

"You have one", he said with finality, before turning around and starting to walk away.

One day. Even for a man who was used to deal with challenging situations and impossible deadlines, this was hard to achieve. Kabuto watched the Uchiha's retreating figure, his chest and head both feeling heavy with the realisation of what he is about to do.

. . .

ii.

From a far, you looked peacefully asleep. The moonlight that managed to find its way into the room was reflecting through the glass that covered your body, pale highlights dancing across your face and chest. Your fingers were crossed on top of your chest and for a second, Kabuto could swear he could see it moving up and down, as if you were breathing.

He blinked once. Then twice. Yet the illusion did not repeat itself.

He made a few cautious steps toward the see-through casket in the centre on the small hall, his eyes narrowing as he got a better view of your body. Your flawless skin, your carefully combed hair, your neat kimono - Sasuke's determination to bring you back the way he remembered you was clear in every detail. Kabuto had no idea how the dark-haired male did it, or even from where he got such precise knowledge about body preservation, but the sight in front of him was a pure imitation of life.

Almost flawless.

"Is that your work?", he quietly asked, his voice ringing with notes of both admiration and wariness. He kept his distance, his eyes scanning every inch of visible skin, searching for any signs of mistakes in the Uchiha's method. There were none. No signs of decomposing, decay or any imperfections. Putting aside the fact that your skin looked paler than it should be, the sight in front of him was a perfect replica of you, completely untouched by time.

Faint footsteps sounded behind him and he turned his head only to see Sasuke approaching the casket from the other side. He didn't pay any attention to Kabuto, as his gaze was focused on you, his lips pressed into a thin line. His eyes traced every line of your peaceful expression, before his only hand lifted and placed itself on top of the cold glass, right above your face. His fingers twitched, slowly dragging themselves down, as if he was trying to reach out and cradle your cheek.

"It is", he finally responded, his voice unusually calm and almost... soft? Kabuto looked at him with unease, before he moved his attention back to you.

If he was scared of Sasuke yesterday when he had his blade pressed against his throat, he was both terrified and baffled now. It was no secret the Uchiha harboured deep feelings for you - he had met you right before the war and since then he always tried his best to keep you away from harm, even during the times he was one of the most wanted criminals by every Hidden Village. You had been his pillar of support and light through the darkest times of his lives - from his pursuit of revenge on his brother to the brutal realisation of all the lies he has been told through the years. Even during the war, his main motivation was not so much to prove himself as capable leader for Konoha, than keep you save.

Ironically, he actually succeeded. He managed to keep you sheltered from all the horrors and blood the ninja world had to offer. Shortly after he was pardoned, he brought you back to his home village, much to the surprise of all of his fellow shinobi. He never introduced you as officially 'his', but everyone knew you were holding a great significance for him. You were not only his save haven, you were everything - his home, his purpose, his future...

All till the day some Leaf ninjas took you away.

It was Sasuke's fault, really. He knew that the past could not be erased, yet he foolishly believed he may be given the chance to start anew. The wounds he had inflicted to both the village and the people there were wide open and despite the years and his actions during the war, they never truly healed. Beneath the surface of the reluctant acceptance he had received by all the villagers, there was mistrust that changed his whole life in just a few seconds.

He remembered the event quite vividly, despite his attempts to erase it from his mind. Every waking moment it haunted him like a nightmare, clutching its claws into his body and soul and refusing to let go...

You laughing in the kitchen, while he watched you with admiration from the kitchen table, his fingers nervously playing with the small ring box in his pocket.

The two shadows which crossed across the wall almost too fast for him to react.

Sounds of broken glass. Table and chairs thrown to the side.

The sound of his name leaving your lips before you threw yourself behind his body, a chocked out gasp leaving your lips once the sword meant for him pierced your chest.

The way his heart stopped inside his chest, his hand moving almost automatically as he brought the last remaining intruder down before he collapsed next to your body.

Your lifeless eyes, who continued to stare at him, a small tear escaping from one corner and landing in his trembling palm.

Kabuto watched as Sasuke shook his head, bringing himself back to reality. The Uchiha casted one last glance to you, before he clenched his jaw and stepped away from the casket. His steps were rushed and urgent, showing his desperation to pull away from the the memory of that day and his failure to keep you safe.

Silence filled the room and for a while the snake-like man could not hear anything but his own breathing. While not one famous for showing sympathy, there was the tiniest spark of pity inside his eyes as he watched the broken man before him. It was then he understood it didn't matter what he said or how much he warned him about the potential risks involved.

Sasuke Uchiha, the man who was always been swaying on the delicate edge between reasonableness and insanity, has officially lost himself to the latter.

All because of you.

"We need a sacrifice", Kabuto finally said, his body moving toward the small table in the corner, where he left his bag earlier, "A life for a life. You did an outstanding job with preserving their body, but again I cannot guarantee what the side effects may be-"

"You will have your sacrifice by the end of the night", Sasuke interrupted, his usual cold and collected composure back in place. Before the white-haired shinobi could say anything else, he was left alone with the chilling feeling of two cold eyes staring right at his back.

. . .

iii.

The first thing you felt was the cold.

Not just in the air around you - it was inside your skin, creeping its way through your veins. The feeling was if you were being chewed alive, yet once you tried to open your mouth, you found unable to move. Your limbs felt heavy, the muscles - unable to respond. Your mind was slowly crawling its way out of the dizziness, yet your body refused to respond.

Then, you heard it - the faint sound of something moving on top of you and then a muffled voice saying something. You tried to focus on it, forcing your senses to sharpen. The words started to sound clearer and clearer till eventually your brain grasped them.

"Open your eyes."

The words echoed around you, ringing inside your head as you tried your best to do as told. The coldness inside of you felt like a heavy anchor which kept pulling you down while you desperately tried to break through the surface. The voice kept repeating the same thing over and over, becoming louder and clearer.

Suddenly, almost as if a bolt of electricity ran through your spine, your body jolted, your chest raising high in the air as you gasped for air. Your lungs felt like they were on fire as they expanded, the painful sensation spreading through your chest as you chocked in the mix of a saliva and cold air.

Something warm pressed against your cheek and it took you a good minute to realise it was someone's hand. Your eyelids, despite still feeling like stones on your face, fluttered open only to be met with a piercing and blinding white light coming from somewhere above you. Everything felt so distant and muted, as if you were waking up from a dream that has lasted all eternity.

The hand on your face moved, its touch gentle as you felt it cupping your jaw. You blinked rapidly against the harsh brightness, the world around you slowly emerging out of blurriness as a face came into focus above you.

A man. Tall, with sharp features and straight black locks reaching his shoulders. Only one of his eyes was visible, black like onyx and staring at you intensively. He had a few days stubble covering his chin and cheeks, while dark bags decorated the area under his eyes.

Who the hell was that?

And why was he looking at you like that?

You tried to open your mouth, but no sound came out as all you could do is let out a quiet gasp. The man's expression shifted slightly, a spark of concern flashing though his tired face. His fingers moved down from your chin, across one of your arms, before taking your hand in his. The longer he remained touching you, the more panicked your attempts to breathe became.

"It's alright", he murmured softly, his dark brows furrowing as he watched you struggle beneath him, "Just focus on breathing. Everything is alright."

Everything, however, was not alright.

Sasuke watched you eyes flicking between him and your surroundings, the feeling of panic evident in the way your chest rose and fell erratically. He could feel your fingers tensing under his while you slowly started to get control of your limbs, achieving nothing more but a few stirs. The expression on your face, however, was what hurt the most - it was one of pure fear and terror, almost like the day they took you away from him.

"Shh, stay calm", he whispered, yet his words seemed to have the opposite effect as he noticed your weak attempt to squirm away. His jaw clenched as he watched you struggling to come back fully to your senses.

Something was wrong. Something was horribly wrong.

Of course, Kabuto has warned him that there will be side effects. That you may be disorientated at first and have problem with moving on your own. He expected you not to remember certain things, like the day you were killed of even some minor events from your life. What he didn't predict, however, was the possibility that you may not remember anything, including him.

His hand withdrew from yours and he casted a fiery glare at Kabuto who was sitting in the corner of the room, rapidly writing something on a piece of paper.

"You said you could bring them FULLY back."

The white-haired ninja did not look up immediately, instead focusing in finishing the report he had started once he saw the first signs of life appearing. In any other event he would probably give more of his energy in addressing the Uchiha's rising anger, however now he felt like he was the one with an advantage. Sasuke may be one of the strongest shinobi alive, but he had nothing on Kabuto's knowledge and skills, especially when it came to the delicate science of reanimation. His experience as the best student of Orochimaru and the man who managed to perfect jutsus like Edu Tensei gave him a dangerous sense of confidence, even in the face of a heartbroken lover who was ready to do anything to bring their soulmate back.

"I did", Kabuto said at last, his voice unusually calm as he attached the pen to the top of the paper before putting it away, "I also told you there will be side effects and you need to be patient. Not that it has ever been your strong suit..."

Sasuke let out a small scoff, his lips curling in disdain as he got to his feet and starting walking toward the other man. The urge to trap him in a genjutsu and force him to experience every single horror he had ever inflicted on other people was growing like a wildfire inside of his chest. Perhaps it was even a fitting punishment for a monster like him, way more deserving to be trapped in a cycle of his own sins than allowed to live peacefully working in an orphanage.

The Uchiha stopped a mere foot from the desk, his fist clenching by his side in an attempt to stop himself for reaching out and doing something he may regret later.

"Fix it."

Kabuto lazily lifted his eyes, one if his eyebrows rising slightly above his glasses.

"Fix it?", he repeated unimpressed, "You speak as if I am a handyman fixing an object. This is a human we are speaking about--"

The words seemed to strike a cord and Sasuke's hand shot forward, slamming onto the desk right next to Kabuto's head. His breathing was sharp and uneven, his anger radiating from every fiber of his being.

"You don't get to act all high and mighty, Kabuto. We have been knowing each other a little too long and a little too well for you to pretend that you can actually consider a person as anything other than an experiment."

Kabuto froze, his eyes instinctively shifting toward you and meeting your gaze. From where you were laying, the scene looked almost like a distorted dream. You heard voices, yet you couldn't understand what were they saying. The fear continued to run inside your veins like a paralyzing venom, leaving you completely helpless in the company of these two unknown men.

The truth was that Kabuto did not care about Sasuke. In fact, given everything he has done, it served him more than right to lose you and rot in guilt and grief all his life. But Kabuto had to agree that he had a right - maybe he was not the best person to be giving him a lecture of the difference between an 'object' and a 'human'. After all, in his eyes they were all the same.

But not you.

You were special. Different. You were not just a mere experiment, far from it actually. You were the culmination of everything he had worked for, the result of years spend in studying, experimenting, theorizing and manipulating. You were the proof he achieved what every great scientist had longed for - a way to cheat death. Completely.

Of course, he wouldn't leave the job half done. Not when he was so close to perfecting his greatest achievement. In his mind, he couldn't even think of the last time he felt so excited and so... alive. Whatever reservations he had because of Sasuke or his recent pardon by Konoha were now forgotten. Instead, all he could see was you. Breathing, blinking, looking around. Your existence defied nature and he felt a strange satisfaction knowing he had achieved what everyone else, even Orochimaru, deemed impossible. It was all way too different from any type of reanimation he tried before.

"The connection between their body and soul is still fragile", Kabuto finally muttered, his golden eyes still locked with yours. Slowly, he stood up from his seat, moving around the dark-haired Uchiha as he approached you. His steps were quiet and measured, as if he was trying not to scare you even more. Tilting his head to the side, he found himself in a strange trance.

"It's a delicate balance, the one of life and death. It can easily tip, especially when one lack patience and appreciation of this beautiful process. I told you this is not just attaching a soul to a vessel, it's about understanding and repairing the bond that connects them. It's about creating a..."

He knelt beside you, his face just centimeters from yours. Edu Tensei has always given these void and empty black eyes to the subjects it revived, an ugly imperfection that reminded that they were not truly alive. But yours... They were just like they were supposed to be when you were alive. Despite being unfocused, there was a spark of life in them.

"... miracle."

As Kabuto finished his sentence he reached out to touch your face, before his wrist was harshly grabbed by Sasuke.

"Don't touch them!"

The air in the room seemed to suddenly grow tenser as you watched the two men hovering above you. Any trace of softness that Kabuto's expression held till now disappeared as he furrowed his brows, his snake-like gaze turning toward Sasuke.

"I fear your demand may be unreasonable, Uchiha. I can't help them, if I am- "

"Your job is to figure out a way to fix your failure and finish the job I asked you to do", Sasuke interrupted impatiently, his grip tightening, "You can do that from your desk."

Kabuto tilted his head, his jaw clenching as he held his ground in the little staring contest he found himself in. After a minute, he roughly pulled his hand, before taking a step back.

"Very well then."

Without another word, he returned to his desk and started to gather the scattered tools he had left in a disarray earlier. He could feel two pairs of eyes burning at the back of his neck, but he refused to acknowledge any of them.

'Such a strong body, yet such a foolish mind', he thought as he put everything in one corner and then simply turned around toward the door. Once again, Sasuke has proved himself incapable of understanding, let alone appreciating, the power of science and what one can achieve with it. Instead he remained a big strong brute, driven by impulse and incapable to open his mind to all the wonders in his world.

As he stepped out of the room, Kabuto glanced back one last time over his shoulder, his golden eyes focusing on yours. He gave you a small smile, almost a friendly one, before shutting the door behind him.

. . .

iv.

The following weeks were like an eternal nightmare, from which neither of you could wake up.

Every day blended into the next, leaving nothing behind by growing frustration and thinning remains of patience. Time felt frozen in this place, as if all three of you were trapped in a constant loop.

For you, the world was a blur - everything was new, yet somewhat familiar. Even the small things, such as walking or playing with your hands, felt foreign and out of place. It was almost like you got into a foreign body and you were left with no choice but to learn how to work with it. It took a full week for you to gain full control over your body, but when you did, it still felt like an insignificant progress.

And what if you could walk, run and do everything you were doing before when your mind remained a dark fog with no clear direction or sense of self? Fractured images kept flashing before your eyes every now and again, leaving you more and more confused. Some felt like memories - stuff that actually has happened once upon a time - but some felt like nothing more than a dream your brain has created in attempt to escape the boringness.

On the other hand, Sasuke was always around. He slept in one room with you, he took you out so you can breathe some fresh air during the day, he brought you food, books and random trinkets to entertain yourself. He rarely kept his distance, and even when he was, you could feel his watchful gaze on the back of your head.

At first, he terrified you. His energy was dark, even sinister in a way. Yet you couldn't help but feel a strange feeling of a familiarity. Sometimes, when you thought he was not looking, you glanced at his profile, studying his face and trying to put the puzzle pieces together of who is he to you. He was a cold man, rarely talking or even responding when you asked him questions, yet he always hovered protectively over you.

And then there was Kabuto. A total opposite of Sasuke.

He was nice - always gently smiling at you, asking if you are okay. There was always a strange softness in his eyes, one that you wouldn't expect from a man with snake-like features like himself. Sometimes he would catch you by yourself and he would make the time to sit down and chat. Most of the time it was about mundane things - the weather, random interesting facts and when he was in a good mood, stories from his past. It took a while for you to be able to reply given your throat burned like an inferno every time you tried to produce any sound during the first week, but slowly you started to respond. At first it was by short words such as "yes", "no" and "do/don't", but soon you started to form full sentences till you relaxed enough to even laugh at some of his silly jokes.

Yet, despite his gentleness and understanding, your inner instinct was screaming at you to be careful. You couldn't tell exactly what, but something with him was ... off. Maybe it was the way his eyes lingered on you too long for your liking or the way his smiling mask quickly shifted into something more sinister when he thought you were not paying attention, but something was making your skin crawl every time he was near you and Sasuke was not.

"What is the relationship between you and Kabuto? Are you... friends?", you asked one night, breaking the peaceful silence that had settle between you and Sasuke. He was sitting on the opposite chair of you, calmly reading a scroll while your attention was focused on the playful dance of the flames in the fireplace.

Sasuke didn't look up immediately, instead using the extra minute to gather his thoughts before he lifted his eyes toward you. His expression remained blank, as it always was around you, but you could see the slightest tension of his shoulder muscles.

"Allies", the answer felt somewhat dishonest as he remained staring at you, "For now."

Picking the strands of the soft rug under your fingers, you searched his face, expecting him to provide a further explanation. Like always, such explanation never came. Instead, his focus returned to the scroll in his hands, his eyes dancing across the piece of paper as he pretended to be very invested in what was written in it.

"But you don't trust him, do you?"

The man snorted at your assumption and you immediately took it as confirmation of what you have suspected. The two have never outright fought in front of you, but there was always a certain tension in the room when both of them were in it. Sasuke always seemed to move closer to you when Kabuto was nearby, his lonely hand resting on the hilt of his sword, ready to react at any given moment.

"Trustworthiness and usefulness usually do not go hand in hand", he said finally, his eyes boring into yours as he started to carefully roll the scroll. You kept your gaze locked with his, unsure what he meant by his answer. It was clear that the the 'usefulness' was somehow connected to you but you still couldn't make a real sense of it. No matter how many times you asked either Sasuke or Kabuto why were you being kept here and why you were subject to so many tests and 'treatments', you were always met with the same answer : "Don't worry about it, it will all come back to you."

"What happens when he is no longer useful?", you asked as you watched him get up from his chair and walk over to the small bed in the corner of the room. While his constant presence around you bothered you at first, you appreciated that he kept some form of distance unlike Kabuto who often was too close to you for your comfort.

For a moment, you thought Sasuke would ignore your question entirely as he just started arranging his blankets and pillow, not showing any interest toward your questioning.

"Then he will be dealt with."

Deep inside you knew that his words should make you feel uncomfortable, worried even. Kabuto has always been kind to you, and it sometimes even felt like he cared for you, in his own strange way. If it wasn't for him, you may still be laying on that cold metal table you woke up on, unable to move or speak.

Yet you couldn't ignore the feeling deep inside your gut that there was a reason for Sasuke's warning. You felt guilty questioning the white-haired male's intentions, but you couldn't shake the feeling he was looking at you as an object opposed to a human. He has been very open to you - he had told you up quite a lot about his own past, including his experiments with people - but instead of appreciating his honesty, you found yourself fearing him. Perhaps this is why you found yourself trying to stay attached to Sasuke's side more often.

Or maybe it was because of these damn flashing images that keep popping in your mind.

Recently they have been coming more and more often. Sometimes they came and went so quickly, it was impossible to catch them. Other times, the lingered, dragging you into a world of unfamiliar faces, places and events. Every time you tried to make sense of them, put them in some kind of order in your mind, they kept blending, creating an even thicker fog of confusion in your head.

You never told Sasuke or Kabuto about it. With so much conflicting emotions and hidden motives, it was hard to tell which one you could trust and which one you could not. One thing you knew for sure - none of the two men were entirely honest. Sasuke, with his cold and collected behaviour, was surely knowing way more than he was letting on about who you were and how did you end up in this labyrinth of broken memories and sense of self. The kind gestures of Kabuto, on the other hand, felt almost disturbing as his eyes followed you like a pray around the hideout.

You were trapped in a rabbit hole of questions, falling deeper and deeper every time a new face or place popped in your mind. The only certainty you had that in this place you had only person you could trust - you. And you had to do everything in your power to get yourself out.

. . .

v.

One moment you were gazing at an old photograph, your brows crunched in confusion, the next one you were on your knees, your hand muffling the loud sobs that threatened to leave your lips.

The image you held in your hands was not one you've seen for the first time. In fact, you have seen it countless of times during your stay here. You have found it accidentally under Sasuke's pillow one day when you were cleaning around the room and while you never asked him about it, you periodically reached out for it, studying it. You were in the middle of it - lips stretched in a wide grin and eyes closed, while a small key was dangling from your pointing finger. Right behind you was Sasuke - his hair just a little bit shorter than now, showing his mismatching eyes who looked directly down at you. His lips were curved into a soft smile, while hand gripped the side of your stomach.

You had reached the conclusion that you and Sasuke were in some form of relationship a long time ago. Were you simply lovers or something more serious? Were you married? Did you had kids? You didn't know, but you were sure the little glances that he threw your way now and the way he was constantly hovering over you was not things a casual boyfriend would do. So it wasn't the image of you two that triggered this intense reaction in you.

It was the window behind you in the photograph.

The small wooden kitchen window, to which you have not paid any mind till now, but now you couldn't look away from it. The same window you were facing while you were putting away the dishes the day you...

died.

Your knees buckled after you as suddenly you were hit with ton of forgotten memories. One after the other, they kept filling your brain with a rapid speed, making you grip your head with both hands in attempt to stop it all.

Inaho Village. Your parents and brother. Bloodshed.

Growing up with your grandma. Healing lessons. Fire.

Sasuke. Sneaking around before the war.

Moving in together after the war. Konoha.

Death.

.

You were supposed to be dead.

The sudden realisation made your head spin and you fell on your bottom, your eyes filling with tears. The memories kept coming, your tears kept flowing and you could swear time froze.

For how long have you been sitting on this cold, bare floor? It may be a minute, it may be an hour. Or even two.

The sound of a door opening caught your attention and you lifted red, puffy eyes only to meet the shocked ones of your lover.

"Sasuke, what have you done?"

cc artwork: Leo Pold

[furiousgoldfish]

While growing up in an abusive family, a part of me strongly refused to grow up, in fact it's still resisting it. I thought at first, it was because I was taught that I am less and less valuable as I age, but it wasn't only that. It turns out, growing around mostly abusive people, can give you some horrifying notions of what it means to be an adult.

I am going to write down how I perceived adulthood, as an abused kid, because I need to work on it myself, and if there's somebody else feeling this, know that these are not your only option for a future:

All adults are stupid, unkind, boring, bitter, aggressive, obsessed with money, do not understand people around them at all.

All adults have to play specific roles assigned to them and don't step outside of these roles. For instance: mother, grandma, father, aunt, teacher, uncle, neighbour. All roles are restrictive and people can only do whatever is assigned to this role (cleaning, cooking, working a job, going to army, being married, etc)

Adults can't play, be curious, or have fun. Adults have to be focused on their role and stay grumpy, serious, bitter and busy. They don't laugh except when drunk.

Adults are having it tougher than children. They are unloved, uncared for, nobody considers them nice or pretty, nobody wants them around or gives them gifts. Adults are permanently unwanted and undesired everywhere.

Adults have good opinions only of people who are already dead. Everyone alive is constantly being humiliated, shamed and criticized. It's better to be dead.

Adults don't care about children, and only think the worst of children. Adults think children should only exist to work and to be yelled at. Adults are dangerous.

Adults don't care about friendships, loyalty, kindness, courage, bonds, closeness, care, or love. Adults friendships are drinking and smoking in the same room while talking badly about every other person in their life. They don't play, laugh or share things. It's a big game of pretense that the other has it better.

Adults lie and fake everything. They lie about their home life, about what they know, about money. They lie about, and to their children. They tell lies confidently. They make things up if they don't know and then tell those lies as if they're truths. They don't feel guilt if caught lying and instead double down on it.

Adults have money but they can't spend it. They have to keep paying bills and they never have enough money for bills and food. They will buy alcohol and cigarettes though, but they're always stressed about bills. They consider it children's fault.

Adults are endlessly stressed about having to 'feed a family'. This is so bad that they actually end up hating their families. They wish all of their children were dead so they wouldn't have to feed them. They can't seem to stop having children but also hate feeding them. It's like they're forced into it.

Adults have to work constantly. They work their jobs and have to do endless chores when they get home. They have to get up early to do chores and do them late at night. They have to do everything alone, unless they can get a child to do it for them. They can't select not to do it, they have to shift it to someone else to avoid it. Adults have no free time, or hobbies. They have to work at all times and always know what needs to be done.

 Adults have bodies that work less and less. They can't run, climb or jump. They're always having surgeries and can barely walk. Their backs and hips hurt and they complain about the pain every time they need to do anything. They blame the work for this but can't stop working. They're still somehow stronger than children when they want to hurt children, and then they're fully mobile. But at all other times they appear sickly and need stuff done for them.

Adults never get over anything that ever happened to them. They're always victimized by everything that ever happened to them. We the children have to get over things instantly, but they are angry and bitter about the past forever. They hold grudges against family members forever. They freely take things out on other family members. They never forgive or forget or calm down.

Adults are not passionate about anything. Their main priority is looking good in front of others and convincing everyone they're better than they are.

Adults selectively care when someone is crying. If it's someone they don't know, they'll act nice about it. If they know the person they will tell them to shut up and stop annoying them. It's like they fall for strangers tears but see through anyone else's as pretense. I don't understand.

Adults die and then other adults get drunk at their funerals. They say you need to cry but they're only serious for the public part and then go and have parties where they just laugh with everyone. Adults don't care about the dead people but say you're not supposed to say anything bad about them now they're dead. They pretend they cared while the person was alive but they didn't. They obsessively clean and decorate graves just for others not to think they 'didn't care'.

Adults will betray anyone's secrets. Adults will tell other adults whatever you told them in confidence. Adults cannot be trusted with information.

Adults judge and badmouth anyone who doesn't act the way they think people are supposed to act. They will impose their own rules and morals on others and shame anyone who doesn't agree. They insist that everyone needs to follow their assigned family role even though they complain about hating their own. They use the most horrid slurs for people they consider 'bad at their role' and write these people off as parasites and worthless people

Adults all agree children should be obedient, quiet and never want anything or disturb them. They want children only to present them with achievements and work for the rest of time.

Adults have sex but nobody is supposed to say anything about it. It's unclear whether they want to be doing it. If it's a part of a role it doesn't seem like they can say no.

Adults can't be cared for or pampered like children can. Adults do not get candy or chocolate. Adults say it's because children are cute and they're not. Adults are jealous of children. Adults complain about not being cared for.

Adults don't understand how hard children have it and always say being a child is the easiest and best time of life. They seem jealous and tell children to be grateful because it's only going to get worse. I can't imagine surviving worse. They claim their childhood was better than anything they deal with now because food was free and they didn't have to have a job.

Adults have no freedom. They have to stay with family and play their role. They can't survive otherwise. They leech off of each other and hate everyone. They live by imposed rules that force everyone to stay together even if they hate each other. They hate everyone around them. They feel loyal to no one. They bring misery to themselves and people around them and don't feel shame or responsibility for anyone they've hurt or ruined.

Adults don't see others as people with their own inner world. They insist that everyone except them is stupid, shallow, mindless and worthless.

Adults are all cowards who will submit to anyone who is stronger and louder. They'll only fight those who are weaker. They don't care about justice and will happily punish victims in unfair fights. They themselves are bitter and upset if they don't get the justice.

Adults only ever look out for themselves. They don't care about other people. They want money and others to admire them and to serve them. If that is not happening they are angry and bitter at the entire world.

Adults don't see good in other people. They don't see what someone else needs or deserves. They don't care about adventures or magic. They don't have wonder or awe inside of themselves. They don't even look at beautiful things in front of them. They don't care about nature, animals or trees. They don't care about books or knowledge, or reading. They don't care about stories or legends. They don't care about people who suffer so badly they want to die. They judge people for suicide.

They don't care about creating or making something unless it can be sold for money. They don't even tolerate others doing it.

They love no one. Everything they do is a drag and a pain to them and they want to push their work on someone else all the time. They don't care about anything except money and how to get more attention and keep pretenses. They have no true friends or care for anyone. All they have is work, rules and roles they need to act. Their lives are meaningless. Even though they have money they cannot travel or use it for fun or joy. They don't think anyone should be free to do as they want. They have no dignity or honor but pretend they do when in company. They yell but pretend they're victims for 'having to yell'.

They don't care if someone wants to die because of their actions. They don't care for anyone who wants to live differently. People who live differently are worthless and stupid to them. They think they're the only ones who are always right even when they're always wrong.

Adults are convinced that when I grow up this will all make sense and I will grow up to be exactly like them

If you felt as a child, or still do, that these are the truths of adulthood, and something you'll end up becoming, it's not true, and it's mostly just abusers who live their lives in this manner. If this is the only thing you've ever known and seen as a child, adulthood would be terrifying and feel like you'd have to lose your soul in order to become like this.

I'll write another follow-up debunking these and writing what I feel adulthood is right now. It's just definitely not that. And living around people who act like this is normal, is traumatic.

[riizebabie444]

☆ ─── hello and welcome to today’s tarot reading which is about your first impression of your future spouse and your future spouse’s first impression of you, with some other tidbits of information about them and you.

☆ ─── be sure to check out my other readings and don’t forget to share and give feedback. disclaimer: all readings done are for entertainment only. please do not use my tarot readings as a replacement for legitimate advice.

☆ ─── picking your pile: take a deep breath and allow your soul to centre itself. when you feel your mind balanced and cleared, allow yourself to be drawn to an image. your eyes may gravitate to one, or you may close your eyes and feel which image is calling out.

☆ ─── masterlist. paid readings. exchange rules.

donations. games/events. feedback.

☆ ─── 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟏

your first impression of them: i'm getting masculine energy that may seem like they are in a job or position of high power. for example, you might look at them and immediately assume they are involved in jobs related to law, military, police etc. it's possible that these may be their professions, however, for some it may just be a first impression. their aura as a whole is penetrative; they seem to have intellectual power, they have an authoritative demeanour. very boss-like. they seem cool and confident. not entirely lacking of emotions but you may immediately think "oh, this person is totally emotionally constipated." but i don't think this is entirely the case. they do have emotions and perhaps i picked up those professions earlier because this person has strong feelings when it comes to justice. but like the profession itself, they require their emotions to be strained because life is too difficult for emotions to rule their life. it's possible that for some of you, you may assume they are married at a first glance. for some, they may have children or during your first meetings, they may mention children or show you them. so naturally, you would assume they are married. let's not be homewreckers here, for the small number of you which this applies to. this is just a first impression, not an absolute truth and by no means does this suggest you should break apart a marriage or family. it could also be that they are someone who seems desperate to marry. you see them as lonely, needing of a true and passionate companion. and it could also suggest that when you first meet your person, you know from the very beginning that you will marry them. you know, one of those people that you can't help crushing on when you barely know them, and before you know it, you have a whole wedding and family planned out with them in your imagination. be careful not to fall in love too quickly, because this person might bring about a lot of delay. a delay of emotions, of love, of work. whatever it is, adventures end just as quickly as they start. you understand this from your first impressions of them, but it may be something you choose to ignore.

their first impression of you: firstly, they get a mix of both masculine and feminine energy from you. you seem to be someone who has control, someone who is active and knows what to do with their life. but they also see from the first impression that you have control over other things, like emotions. you may seem uptight at first. you come off as a total perfectionist. perhaps a workaholic, too. you seem to have mastered a lot of skill, but you come off to them as a person that is too engrossed in self-development. don't get me wrong, self-development is good. but their first impression tells me they think you are all "me, me, me!", putting all the work into yourself and never giving any effort to anyone else unless it allows you to achieve your own goals by doing so. they might also think you are too delusional about your financial state. at the time they meet you, you could have the "i manifested this!" mindset, but they may not believe in things like manifestation, and so, they assume you are delusional. they also have the first impression that you are a reckless spender. they'd rather you see and understand how you became into your position by your own efforts, and not what the universe has manifested for you. they might also see you initially as someone who moves too fast. they'll get to know you and won't be able to keep up. they think you should slow down, "hold your horses!" - especially in regards to career and money.

☆ ─── 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟐

your first impression of them: i believe you will have a hard time deciding on what your first impression of them is. you could typically be the type of person who categorises people as "good or bad" and use your judgements to decide whether they are worthy of being in your life. but it will be hard for you to decide with this person. you don't know whether you should avoid them or keep seeing them. this could also suggest that you initially find this person indecisive. though overall, i think despite the confusion, they are a person that seems balanced and brings you balance. they might seem quite fiery, perhaps a fire sign or fire energy. they may come off as clumsy, but they are a person with fantastical thoughts and ideas. you might also think they are an "ace". good at everything, excels in anything they try. despite their clumsiness, they seem to always find success. you may perhaps meet them in a work environment, so you see more than one side of them. this is why it is hard for me to say you have a clear and concise first impression. they seem to know themselves, never wavering in fear. they believe in themselves above anything and you would admire this about them. they may initially seem too loud, too energetic. but they are deeply passionate and courageous.

their first impression of you: i immediately see that for some of you, when you and your person meet or make first impressions, you will be celebrating a personal achievement. perhaps a new job, new home, you quit smoking, or even something small and related to self-care. whatever this goal is, it is special to you and it will likely be one of the very first things they get to know about you. so initially, they will be proud, despite not knowing you well, or at all. they might also think your small goal is cute, and that you are cute for being so proud and excited for achieving it. go you! hard work definitely pays off and they get that vibe from you. you work hard to achieve something and you take time to admire all the results of your efforts. like a gardener who can't stop staring at their garden - this is the image they have of you. they think that you are the type of person who goes by the motto "no matter what life brings, it is a learning experience." however, they may also wonder if you are judgemental, or quick to judge. i don't see this in a negative way, but rather in an innocent way. you make quick judgement and speak or act in certain ways without realising how judgemental it could be until afterwards. they will notice this early on. and for some of you, they may think you are too high up in your head. it's good to be intuitive, to have compassion and empathy. but sometimes, they think you need to escape your mind and have a taste of the real world. lastly, for some of you, they may think you are so mysterious.

☆ ─── 𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐞 𝟑

your first impression of them: you think they are a total loner. i'll try to be nice about it but the loner energy is way too strong. i think you will think negatively of them at first, someone who lacks friends and perhaps even family. it could be a red flag to you - there must be a reason they have no one close in their lives, no? i think they have a very lonely and sorrowful look and demeanour about them that makes you want to stay away. alternatively, it may mean you will meet them at a time when either you or them (or both) are going through a period of loneliness and social withdrawal, and for some of you, a breakup. you may think this person needs to reflect on their self-worth. i'm sorry if it may not be ideal for you to hear, but it's likely your person is going through it and you simply do not want to deal with it. yet, at the same time, you have these impressions of them but you can't stop thinking about them, worrying about them. the thoughts that keep you up at night, "i don't even know this person, i don't want to know this person but why can't i sleep? why am i so worried if they are doing okay or not?" there is still a good part of you that wants to reach out and i hope it will. keep in mind, these are just first impressions. their attitude can change at anytime so be aware that they may believe "if you don't love me at my worst, you don't deserve me at my best." i'm not attempting to intimidate you into checking on them and forcing yourself to be in their life, but keep it in mind. because you will realise later on that they are not the person you had thought they were.

their first impression of you: they may look at you and think "wow, you come from a really good family." this is in terms of abundance, wealth, finance, success. they immediately assume you are someone who has been materialistically provided for. for some, they may tease you about "mommy's/daddy's money" and whether this is the case or not is none of their business at all. if i were you, pile three, i'd tell them straight away that you will not tolerate teasing about your financial position, because it's most likely they said it due to their own insecurities being triggered from the sight of you. don't let words like this dismay you. it could also be the case that someone else says this to you, or about you, and they will defend you. for some, a friend or colleague may say demeaning comments about your wealth and they will say "well, where is your money? stop being jealous." they may not know you well, but their first impressions at least make them want to defend you. however, it is no use in denying that they also had these fleeting thoughts too. that you are power hungry, the money got to your head. however, they will soon realise you are like a double-edged sword. money is good, and money is bad. success is good, and success is bad. "heavy is the head that wears the crown." you may also tease them, and that is why they think you are quite boastful and tyrannical, but as i've said throughout. this is not a bad thing because genuine, long-lasting impressions are very rarely the same as first impressions. and for a number of you, they may think you are generous, or would like to know how generous you are. not in a "buying them things" kind of way, but how you choose to help others, and how much of your resources (financial, emotional, time) you are willing to give to others.

© lueurais — please do not copy, steal or repost anywhere.

[krispycreamcake]

The Sakamakis perfect match in: Game night

From author: This is a new series I'll be doing where I pair up the Sakamakis with their perfect partner for specific scenarios, so if you have any asks, feel free to send!

Shu Sakamaki

🎻- Frankly, Shu is a lazy man child whose only purpose on earth is to drive you up a wall

🎻- He needs someone competent that can carry your team for the BOTH of you because God knows he won't

🎻- Shu finds that getting a reaction out of you far more interesting than the game itself

🎻- So let's say you're playing Uno, he has five +4 cards up his ass and he's only willing to spend them on either you or Reiji

🎻- The truth is, when you're good at everything, no challenge is ever truly a challenge and that makes life soooo boring especially if you're immortal

🎻- Anyways, Shu would be best matched with someone that would try their best at any given game, especially if they're competitive

🎻- He also needs someone that's a major crash out and tweaks tf out when he ruins the game for them

Reiji Sakamaki

☕️- Reiji definitely needs a team player

☕️- He needs someone strategic and communicative so they can conspire together on ways to win

☕️- Here's a hint, he's open to blatant cheating if you do it in such a way that it doesn't technically count, except it so does

☕️- For example, you're all playing Monopoly. You offer to buy Ayato's property in exchange for yours except you KNOW that it's in between both of Reiji's properties, and the chances of him landing are extremely high and you and Reiji are in kahoots together so you both split the profits

☕️- See that's not technically cheating, that's playing smart

☕️- Reiji's best match would be someone who's competitive but also cunning. Ooh and never let him feel like you're the one in charge, he'll go crazy

Ayato Sakamaki

🏀- Well uh

🏀- He would want someone as arrogant and competitive as him, but is that what he needs? Absolutely not

🏀- Ayato needs someone level headed that can help balance out their team dynamic in order to win

🏀- He needs someone that'll see the flaws in his mistakes and take accountability for HIM because I have no idea if you could even convince him he even made a mistake in the first place

🏀- In short, Ayato needs someone to save that burning ship he's on

🏀- You need to be in control without specifically admitting you're in control, you need to be sneaky about it and make it seem like HE'S the one who came up with those ideas

🏀- The best example I can think of is when you're playing pictionary, you whisper something REALLY close to what the actual thing is and have him come up with the answer himself

Laito Sakamaki

🃏- Laito's best match would be someone who's a bit laid back and playful

🃏- While we all know Laito's extremely smart and can read people well, we need someone to bring out that side of him rather than takeover and never have him put his skills to use

🃏- He needs someone that'll force him to take the lead otherwise everything would just be a big joke to him and unless it's a game he likes, he genuinely does not care

🃏- You need to kind of be a Shu in this case

🃏- What I mean by this is, you need to tease him a bit, make him feel just the inciest bit insecure about his game skills. Tease him, make jabs at him, play mindlessly into the opponent's hands

🃏- Hmm this example would best describe what I mean. Imagine you're playing a game of Ludo and you roll a six and instead of moving your piece out of the way before it gets "eaten", you choose the option to unlock another of your pieces to the game. He goes nuts after your like 3rd time of this and subtly starts giving advice despite cussing you out in his mind

Kanato Sakamaki

🧸- Someone patient for sure but also extremely determined

🧸- You need to essentially gentle parent him to the finish line

🧸- Don't get mad at him when he makes a dumb move but let him scold you because you did

🧸- Kanato would work well with someone that's headstrong and has a clear view of victory. He needs someone he can trash talk the other players to, regardless if they're his brothers or not

🧸- Aside from him being batshit insane, he'd be a fun person to play with. He's smart and calculated in the emotional aspect of the game and he can read his players really well

🧸- He knowsss how to get under their skin and might even have a freak out if someone calls him out. Of course none of it is real, but what the others said DID hurt his feelings (just maybe not to that extent truthfully)

🧸- Kanato would work well with someone willing to put up with his antics, someone who's patient and well versed in the game they're playing

🧸- The only example for this scenario I can think of is imagine you guys are playing checkers or chess and Kanato stands behind you while outwardly critiquing your opponent's every flaw and making disappointed noises and distracting them purposely

Subaru Sakamaki

🥀- Similar to Kanato, he needs someone patient

🥀- Obviously his anger will be an issue, but you also need to be smart to be able to point out the flaws in his moves and communicate to him ways to win

🥀- See Subaru would pair great with someone that can tell him what to do clearly and precisely

🥀- You need to be the brains to his brawns, you need to think and act quickly

🥀- You also need to shit talk his brothers with him

🥀- Maybe they made a stupid move, why not try lightening the mood with some loud whispering about them

🥀- Subaru would act like he doesn't like the idea of game night, but by the time he has the dice in his hand, he's folded. And because of this, he needs someone that can have fun with him

🥀- He needs someone playful but yet a person that can lock in at any given moment

🥀- Even if you guys don't win, he'll make a comment on how fun it was in the end

🥀- Example wise, I can honestly only think of you guys playing Snakes and Ladders and you shake the desk while the dice rolls to give someone the exact number they need to get eaten by a snake and he's just in the background backing you up and vouching for you that you didn't do it, meanwhile he's trying so hard not to laugh his ass off

[prose-for-hire]

Toil and Trouble:

(Second part Here)

Pairing: Spike x Harris!reader

Request: Not requested, promise I am writing my requests it just happens so slowly (sorry). I got a bit overwhelmed! So when I get a random burst of inspiration like this it helps get me back into writing what I’m supposed to be writing lol.

(As always reader is gender neutral unless stated otherwise.)

Desc: reader is Xander’s twin, they aren’t a scooby they have their own friends and Xander has always tried to hide the truth about demons from them. What will happen when reader discovers an unexpected house guest in Xander’s basement room?

Warning: mention of heavy drinking (Xander’s uncle) and dysfunctional families. Cigarette.  Reader has hair long enough to be tucked behind an ear.

You and Xander had always been close. They called you and your twin double trouble, when you were younger. You had been partners in crime, if you will. You spent a lot of time together despite your different personalities. You shared the same sense of humour but after that, you were almost completely different. The arguments you had between you over what movie to watch could go down in the history books. But five minutes later you would be sharing popcorn together and cracking jokes about the movie you were watching.

However, ever since High school there was something of a rift between you. You no longer told each other everything. He started it, in your defence.

Xander was evasive and him and his friends were incredibly secretive, especially around you. You liked Buffy and Willow fine enough but you were always only an acquaintance of theirs. You had your own group of friends in high school and again in college. What you didn’t know about Xander’s increasingly comedic and unconvincing excuses and explanations was that he was trying to hide from you the dangers of Sunnydale. The demons and apocalypses and life or death situations.

He felt he was protecting you, despite Willow’s pragmatic arguments in your favour all the Scoobies agreed to keep it from you.

Where Xander had moved into the basement, you had moved on campus for college. You had promised to come home and stay for your uncles birthday weekend, however, and annoyingly Xander had the excuse of work to miss the predictably dysfunctional meal that was being held in his honour. He had passed you on the way out in his pizza uniform, grabbing you in a side hug before he left with an apologetic glance.

As predicted, it was torture. You had sat there whilst your uncle drank his way through the meal and had seemingly made it into a game of ‘how many comments can I make before they snap’. It reminded you just how glad you were to have got out of the house. The only real reason you came back was to see Xander and he had dashed out of the door.

Once the meal was over and everyone had stopped talking after the inevitable argument that had been brewing since you had stepped through the door, you slid away to try and collect yourself. Rather than going to what had been your room, which had quickly been changed when you had left, you walked down into Xander’s basement.

It was dark, you hadn’t switched the light on. You were going to sit in the chair he had down there and wait for him to rant to him about your uncle. As you felt around for the chair, you managed to touch something unfamiliar, you and the chair let out a yelp at the same time.

You scrambled for the light and saw a man sat in the chair, no, not sat in it. Tied to it. Tightly, too. He was cute, just your type too. You couldn’t help staring at him, something he caught as he smirked in your direction.

“Like what you see?” He raised his eyebrows, eyes not leaving yours. When you grinned at his words, he swore he felt his heart soar in his chest. A feeling he quickly tried to beat back down again. He wouldn’t do this again, fall for someone like this. Not so quickly, so easily.

“I’ve seen better, I suppose” You beamed when he chuckled, moving to sit on the edge of Xander’s bed.

“Hidin’ are you? Gotta say, your family aren’t exactly winners, pet”

“And there was me thinking I had won the ‘rental lottery” You offered before explaining, “I was only really here for Xander and he didn’t even stay for dinner. Just needed somewhere to…”

“Relax?” Something in his voice told you that he understood. Or at least

“Yeah, I’m not gonna even ask why you’re here tied to a chair” You smiled, you had been the kindest human he had met since getting chipped. In fact, probably of all time. He didn’t really want to tell you what he was and make you leave him here in the dark. He was enjoying the company.

For the first time in a while, he was feeling like himself again. Or at least some version of himself. One he actually liked. He decided to explain to you how he had got here, perhaps a slightly edited version. Well, a heavily edited version. One that would also make him into the hero, of course.

He spoke like a poet, you were hanging on every word. Every syllable. The story was clearly edited, but you really didn’t care. You felt it in the emotion, in the feeling of what he was saying. That couldn’t be made up.

As he spoke, the night had gone darker and the streetlights had turned on. You smiled softly, both of you were feeling a little lost in your own ways. You felt connected to him, even after only a few hours of knowing him.

“You know, in the light from that streetlamp, you glow” He let the words hang in the air, trying to gauge your reaction. In that moment, you knew he had sensed it too. Some spark. Some potential.

“I need a drink. You wanna go to the Bronze?”

“Kinda tied up at the moment, love” He moved his palms to prove it, showing a flash of black nail varnish.

You leaned in and untied him, your face so close to his. The proximity made the atmosphere around you both intense, your breath tickled his cheek and he closed his eyes slowly.

Once the ropes were loose, he jumped to his feet instantly, gripping your elbow as if to steady himself. Tiny surges of electricity fizzled through you at the contact. Though he didn’t need it for balance, he just wanted an excuse to stand close to you. His hand moved towards you, eyes never breaking from yours, catching a loose strand of your hair and tucking it behind your ear.

He looked as if he was going to lean into you, closing the space. You swallowed thickly, his brilliantly blue eyes dipping to your lips just as-

The door of the basement slammed open, hitting the wall beside it. Heavy footsteps could be heard descending the stairs towards you. Spike stepped backwards and you already felt cold from the absence of his presence.

You turned to find your brother, mouth agape as he stared between the two of you.

“Wh- why is Spike-?!” words escaped your brother in his shock.

“His circulation was getting cut off, stop panicking”

“I’m not panicking. I’m not. I’m not. Stop looking at me like I’m panicking!”

“Kinda looks like panicking, mate” Spike said, rolling his eyes and sliding on his leather duster.

“Me and your friend hit it off, I asked him out” You explained, tugging on your own jacket.

“Goin’ for a bite aren’t we, love?” Spike’s eyes sparkled as Xander caught his intended meaning.

“Tell them not to wait up. Or better yet, don’t tell them anything-” You gestured upwards as you started to leave when Xander, clearly in an argument with himself on whether to tell you something he had kept secret for a long time, decided he needed to say something.

“He’s my hostage!”

“I’ll bring him back, God, Xander you are so annoying”

“Don’t I get a bloody say?”

“No!” You said together, which almost put Spike off you entirely until you smiled at him again and then he was wrapped around your little finger.

He had never met anyone like you. You were strong, clearly, but so in touch with your emotions. All throughout the conversation you had for the hours before Xander walked in had felt more of a connection than anything he had said in decades to any other.

“Y/n, he’s dangerous! You can’t take him! This is my foot, and it’s going down!” Xander pointed to his foot and you gave it a light kick as you replied.

“What is it with you? It’s always, it’s my turn with the hostage, you’re a minute younger you can sit in the sandpit and wait!”

“BOTH OF YOU, SHUT THE HELL UP! NOW!” A call came from upstairs, masking Xander’s yelp at your kick and  sent you both into a whisper argument that even Spike could barely hear.

“Ought to get goin’ pet, we could go for a nice, secluded walk after” Spike’s smirk widened as you nodded and started for the door. Xander’s panic had reached it’s peak, he was flailing his arms around in urgency.

“Y/n, there are things- complex things that you don’t know about. Spike is… Spike’s a…”

“Vampire? Yeah, Xander, I know. He’s whiter than snow, I’m not an idiot” You rolled your eyes at your brother, how dumb did he think you were?

Obviously Spike was a vampire or this hostage thing would be entirely too weird for you to get involved in. Plus, Spike had explained that he had been chipped by the Initiative and you had told him that you were definitely not (and never would be) part of your brothers lame little Scooby gang.

You knew all about demons and vampires and the like. You and your friends had been fending them off since high school, just perhaps not as well as your brother and the slayer. And what’s more, you knew all about the slayer too. You had accidentally walked into the library one afternoon when your librarian and Buffy had been fighting something spooky.

You had hidden so they hadn’t seen you but you overheard them say something about the chosen one, the slayer and then you had done some research of your own. You waited for Xander to tell you himself but it had been too long now and you had just never confronted him about it.

“How long have you known?”

“About as long as you’ve been keeping it from me”

Spike, who had weirdly known better than to get involved again, just stared between them. He was bored, he just wanted to spend more time with you. Who knew being chipped would have led to something like this? Finding someone that he lo-

Really liked. You just really like them, you nit.

“We’ll talk, Xander. Just, tomorrow, okay? I’m going out”

Spike grinned evilly over his shoulder at Xander as he slung an arm over your shoulder, whispering lowly in your ear as you walked away. You and your brother would have to talk, maybe shout at each other for a while. But it could all wait.

Spike lit up a cigarette and offered you took a drag as you walked by his side. The night was young and full of promise. Spike spoke almost non-stop on your way there, something he hadn’t found himself doing in an age. He tried to impress you with stories of past fights he had won, historical events he had witnessed. He just wanted to see you smile.

Yeah, you could definitely get used to this.

[riality-check]

daisy jones-adjacent au. part 1, 2, 3, 4, 5. tw substance abuse, ptsd, references to past torture (canon, the russians.) part 7.

ao3

Writing the album is, somehow, the easy part, even after Steve put his foot in his mouth.

He had his suspicions, but he shouldn't have asked that. It was a dick move, and he's been trying not to be a dick for the past few years. So, he apologized and didn't bring it up again.

Eddie softened after that. Like he wasn't expecting Steve to apologize. He accepted it, and things have been good since.

Well, more than good, if Steve's being honest. Things have gotten a lot better since.

He's noticed a few things, even after their permanently discontinued game of "truth or truth." Mostly, the things Steve has noticed have been about Eddie, like:

He laughs at the dumbest things.

He quotes books and movies constantly.

He has an accent that he masks unless he's tired.

He hates strong smells.

He deflects by becoming bigger.

There's more. A lot more that Steve has noticed, but listing everything about Eddie's brilliance and stubbornness, his courage and obnoxiousness, his gorgeous face and sharp tongue would take all day. Steve has noticed a lot over these few weeks spent hunched over instruments and notebooks at his house, and he thinks Eddie has noticed him in return.

He hopes so.

It's been a long time since Steve has wanted to be noticed beyond the superficial adoration of fans. It's been a long time since Steve has wanted to be known.

There are a plethora of reasons for why that's a bad idea. Steve is able to forget them momentarily when he sees Eddie smile.

All too soon, after far too long, they're done writing. They start recording, and that is the hard part.

It always is. There's always something wrong with the levels or slightly out of tune, or someone sneezes right into the mic on the first good take. There's things that work and things that don't, and, always, songs on paper that have to get fixed before they can be songs on the radio.

The album has good bones, though. It's angry and hopeful and scared and sad and triumphant. It's music, it's art, it's life.

And once they can make it work, it's going to be great.

That's what Steve is doing now. Making it work. He's awake at 4 AM on a Tuesday, sitting at a piano and trying to rework the bass line to stop it from clashing so much with the melody.

The only good thing about this situation is that he's made it to seventy three hours awake for the first time, courtesy of a well-timed line right before he got to work.

If it keeps working, he might trash the pills entirely.

He plays the introduction to the song again on his right hand and starts adding low notes on his left. As it is, it sounds empty. To much distance. But if he raises it a fourth-

"Steve?"

He freezes, fighting back against the instinct to jump away from the piano like a kid caught with his hand in a cookie jar. He forgot that the band has been crashing at his house - it's close to the studio and he has the rooms to spare - and because he forgot that he wasn't alone, he failed to remember that most people aren't awake at this hour, nevermind working.

So, he calmly turns around to see Eddie, in pajamas, standing in the doorway, blinking sleep out of his tired eyes.

Steve swallows and hopes that Eddie is too tired to catch him openly staring.

"What are you doing?" Eddie whispers.

"Reworking something," Steve says. "Trying out something different for the bass line in Envy, the one that's giving us trouble."

Eddie covers his mouth to yawn. "Couldn't sleep?"

Steve wonders when the last time he thought that was a bad thing was.

"I can be quieter," he says. "I was just trying to fix this. But that can wait until morning."

"Steve," Eddie says, and he's got that look on his face.

Steve hates that look.

Eddie looks at him like he can see inside his skull, inside his heart, and read his DNA letter by letter. He looks at him like he can see everything about Steve: past, present, and future.

And there's pity in every second of it.

Steve can't stand pity.

"I just- I gotta see the whole picture, you know?" he continues so Eddie doesn't get to voice that pity. "And you guys all have your instruments, but piano gives me everything. I can play the bass and the guitar and sing and- I'm just able to get it better that way. Where are you going?"

Eddie is almost out the door again. "I- I can't be here, Steve."

"Why? Are you tired? You can go-"

"You're high, and I know that if you offer me something, I won't say no."

Oh.

"Eddie, I wouldn't-"

"And even if you don't, if you take something in front of me, I know I'll ask for some," he says, like it's a fact, the same way the sky is blue.

"I'm not- I wouldn't do that to you," Steve says. No point in denying that he's high, not when they both know it. "I wasn't- I'll get off the piano. I'll read, or, well, reread something instead."

He gestures aimlessly at the bookshelf on the wall near the door. It's crammed full of recommendations from Dustin and Robin and Erica and Nancy. All of them have been read at least once, most of them twice.

"You like to read?" Eddie asks.

"No, I hate it," Steve says, completely genuinely.

Eddie huffs out a quiet laugh. "I will never understand you."

"I know."

Because that's the thing. No one can understand it, can understand him, unless they were in Hawkins, Indiana, too. Unless they saw what he did. Unless they signed the same NDAs. Unless they fought the same monsters and went to the same other world and endured the same things.

Eddie, like most other people, will never be able to understand.

So, his smile fades as he stands there in the doorway, confused.

"I like stories, but I hate reading," Steve explains. "I just do it to fill-"

"I can read to you."

Steve stops mid-word. "What?"

"If you want to hear the story without reading," Eddie says. "I like reading. I can read to you."

Steve has spent seventy four hours, at this point, awake. He is sitting at a piano bench at 4 AM on a Tuesday, high on cocaine, and is staring at a hot guy his age who, over the past few weeks, has alternated between seemingly hating him and smiling that smile.

Forgive him for making the stupid decision to say-

"Okay."

Eddie smiles, though it's tired. He takes a book from the shelf at random and walks out the door. Steve has no choice but to follow, back to the guest room Eddie has taken as his own.

Eddie turns on the bedside lamp and lays down underneath the rumpled sheets.

"Come on," he says, patting the space next to him. "I don't bite."

"You sure?" Steve jokes, but he climbs on alongside him, careful not to touch.

He really wants to touch.

He's not thinking straight.

Eddie cracks the book open and starts reading in a low whisper.

Steve can barely understand what he's saying, but that doesn't matter. What matters is Eddie's voice, quiet and rough and breathy. What matters is Eddie's voice, steady and soothing.

It's nice. It's really nice.

Steve finds himself curling up, closer and closer, until his head is on Eddie's chest.

His eyes slip closed at hour seventy-five.

And the next thing he knows, he's standing with his back to a corner, holding a metal, foldable music stand in front of him, with a voice hoarse from screaming.

Clearly, he fell asleep.

Fantastic.

Sometimes, he's able to tell what the nightmare was before he actually remembers it. It's all in the little habits he's developed.

When he finds himself checking to see if all his fingernails are still attached to his hands, blinking nonexistent blood out of his left eye, and still murmuring Robin's name, he knows that this one had to be about the Russians.

And then the memory of the bone saw, of the screaming, of taking hit after hit after hit crashes into him so hard he almost doubles over.

He reminds himself he's safe. That he's unharmed. That Robin is safe in her dorm at UCLA. That they never got Dustin or Erica.

That all of this is fucking useless.

He's gotten it all out. He's written song after song about all of it, all of the monsters and the fighting and the fear and the good in spite of it all. He writes and plays and sings close enough to all of it to almost break the NDAs.

And none of it is of any use at all because, years later, Steve still can't fucking sleep.

He swallows. Swallows again. Tries to breathe, even if it's in the form of great, heaving gasps.

And that's when he realizes that Eddie is standing right in front of him. Clearly confused, clearly terrified.

This is why, though he can never understand Steve, he shouldn't know him, either. This is why Steve can't reach out and touch.

Because even if he could explain it to Eddie, even if he would lie and say he believed him and understood, no one wants someone who can't make it through a night without waking up at least three times. No one wants to have to calm someone down from weekly screaming fits brought on by the back of their eyelids.

"Get out," he says.

"Steve," Eddie says, and there's that pity again.

Steve can't stand pity.

"Get out!" he shouts, heedless of the fact that he's probably waking everyone else up, that this is the room Eddie is staying in.

He can go to Steve's room. Everything in there is hidden, so he can't break his sobriety unless he snoops.

Steve hopes he doesn't snoop. He doesn't want to drag Eddie down to where he's at.

Eddie nods and makes his way to the door. Before he leaves, he stops and looks back.

"I don't know what you're running from," he whispers. "But when it catches you-"

"What?" Steve snaps.

"Let someone know."

If Steve were in a better state of mind, he'd ask what the hell that meant. But he's shaking and tired, so goddamn tired, that he watches Eddie go.

He sits on the floor, in the corner, still holding the music stand. The sun is up. It streams through the windows along with the sounds of birds chirping.

And Steve wonders how he's supposed to live the rest of his life like this.

He makes it an hour before he falls asleep sitting up on the floor. He makes it two more before he wakes himself up again, checking his fingernails.

[nqmonarch]

For the request, can I please have yandere Black Swan x fem or gn reader x yandere Sparkle headcanon as the poly relationship? Basically Sparkle and Black Swan are working together to get their darling.

Yeah of course! Sorry for the late response! I also started this before current quest came out (2.1 I think, the one that focuses on Aventurine) so sorry if I missed anything that came out recently!

CW: Yandere themes (it isn't super heavy I think), Memory manipulation, kidnapping that isn't viewed as kidnapping by the kidnappee

To start with is always the question of how Black Swan and Sparkle become interested in you, such a strange duo both with different goals and aspirations yet absolutely threatening while working together.

You were a very simple person but also infinitely complex, like most people. But rather than keep the complexities of your life close to yourself and the ones you cared for, you wore your life on your sleeve. One moment you'd be distracted by ooo-- pretty fish nice bright and orange and--. Oh right the drink in front of you is also pretty nice but the moment you drink it, it'll be gone forever. It won't matter, and will be forgotten in your own mind, and the mind of the world. In the grand scheme of things it doesn't matter in the slightest, just like your life. Unless if it's a super good drink.

And look there's a pretty lady following the pretty fish! Actually it looks like the fish are swimming around her, maybe in the dream scape you're permanently under the sea. You don't really like the sea though, actually it's okay. You've just been a thousand meters deep before and at that point the pressure kills, you didn't die but it wasn't pleasant. Thankfully, gear was upgraded pretty well, which is expected for a city under water. There were also many beautiful creatures down there that you were lucky to see and lots of rocks, there weren't fish like the fish around the pretty lady though-- and she's gone.

What a shame, you would've loved to introduce yourself to her. Now, your drink demanded your attention and you had to oblige.

And that was the first time you met Sparkle.

You were someone that could admire Sparkle and not only indulge but enjoy her games and give her the attention she wanted. And after you ended up accidentally joining a scene you weren't supposed to be in and participating in her murder mystery game, she realized how good the attention felt.

Black Swan was someone who would observe a puzzle from the outside and would play along with the puzzle but truly be trying to deconstruct the person behind the puzzle.

You, on the other hand, were someone who would know it's a puzzle yet, devote your all to something you knew wasn't real. How silly, but how... cute? Sparkle's thoughts surprised even her, she had always been into toppling over more composed people. But you were composed in a different way. You were passionate but controlled, excited but not often upset, like a river flowing rapidly leaving waves in the air but not leaving it's boundaries unnecessarily.

Your unexpected participation in the murder mystery was exactly what drew Black Swan's interest as well. Your attention was changing from detail to detail each minute and when the time came to guess who Sparkle was. You foolishly guessed Sparkle's body-- and you were right. Black Swan should've figured out the fool would've pulled something like this, Sampo was too obvious of an answer.

Your excitement at the truth was genuine from the way your entire face brightened up to the way you began to hop excitedly in place. "See? Sampo's too nice to kill someone!" She thought your reasoning was still wrong though.

Sampo was pretty cool, he seemed like a scum bag but that didn't mean he'd kill someone he was still too nice to do that. Also he didn't act interested enough in the murder to be Sparkle. If you killed someone you'd be really interested in how the detective solved the murder, it'd be like a fun little game! But you wouldn't do that, most people didn't deserve to die and the ones that did probably wouldn't die by your hand-- and what if you were wrong you'd be better off sending them to jail and hoping they'd reform instead and someone just said something to you that you missed oh shit, hopefully you won't get yelled at.

Oh wait that wasn't directed at you that's just Sparkle trying to get Black Swan to-- wait Black Swan's a memokeeper?! That's sick! Your eyes shined as you looked at the elegant woman with new found respect. A shame Sparkle got rejected, you'd invite her to dance but she probably wouldn't want to dance with you.

"Miss Black Swan," You piped up looking at the veiled woman excitedly and she turned to you with a slight smile. Perhaps, she'd erase your memory, memokeepers were rather secretive right?

None the less you'd rather say what you wanted to say, "Thank you for your work. No memories deserve to be lost, even though one day they will all be lost as we all inevitably die... but that's a while from now! There's so much beauty that needs to be preserved but will inevitably be forgotten. If only we could all share in it, but I understand you likely have your reasons."

If only memokeepers could share all they knew, wouldn't the knowledge of that help humanity immensely? But the weight of memories isn't to be taken lightly, you reminded yourself. All of the pain everyone experienced had to be remembered as well. Because to forget is to repeat.

Her honey eyes took the shape of crescents, "Thank you, dear," her voice sounded like honey too, enough so that you felt your ears grow red at the term of endearment, "Fear not, cherished memories will be preserved from true oblivion."

You blinked, once, twice, "But at some point doesn't there have to be nothing? That's why it's important not just to protect such memories but also make them. Because all we really have is tomorrow. Well, I suppose the only guaranteed thing I have is tomorrow-- actually I could die in the next second so all I have is right now. But memories, at some point wouldn't they have to become nothing as well?"

You paused for a moment before continuing, walking away from Black Swan, "I guess there's no way to know until the end. So when you know whether or not even they become nothing, I'll be waiting, curious, to hear your answer."

That was a fun time. You solved a fake murder, met two pretty ladies, and- oh you won't be alive to hear Black Swan's answer what a shame-- OH! You wondered if they had the once in millennium memory of the ten moon solar eclipse where you could see them all because the smallest moons were the closest to the planet. What a beautiful sight, shame that planet was pretty much deserted. You'd just been lucky to get to see it, you had a research grant or something. Righttt to get samples of that one man eating flower, the cool part was that its flowers contained traces of metal, particularly gold.

Huh, how'd that work? Not like it mattered you were just suppose to get a sample. You wondered if the Garden of Recollection how memories of that plant. You wondered if they had memories of a world slowly dying out, of its last flower crumpling to stony surface.

And with that Black Swan was left looking at your back as you walked away. You were an interesting person. She'd keep an eye out for you but in the meantime the Astral Express seemed to be having some troubles she'd have to prioritize first.

Then, you ran into Sparkle again. This time you were able to strike up a conversation with her. She seemed like a friendly person, albeit she did almost get you killed but such is the way with pranks! All's fair in love and games! And what was life if not a game? Plus you got to see her pretty fish. You wanted one. You didn't think you'd be able to take good care of a fish though, you were already struggling to take care of yourself.

You had a few more run ins with Sparkle and played her games much to her delight! Each time she felt herself growing more excited, would you die if the game required it? You put such care into each moment but even when it resulted in nothing you laughed it off. It was annoying at times, as if anything she planned didn't matter. But when your eyes lit up at solving a puzzle those thoughts were dissuaded.

And even better was how your eyes lit up when they saw her.

How Sparkle preened under your praise. She was sure her games were getting even better with such encouragement and an eager participant! She almost forgot why she came to Penacony in the first place but, she unfortunately had a job. At least the job was fun! Once she was done she'd come and pick you up, she was certain you'd love to come along with her!

Coincidentally when Sparkle had to get more focused on her work you met the beautiful memokeeper again. You greeted her gracefully, your face obviously excited to see her again, and she invited you to a dance..? Sure! Hadn't Sparkle wanted to dance with Black Swan earlier though? Black Swan must've just been busy then, you weren't sure you knew there was something bigger going on behind the scenes but you didn't care much. This was your vacation! Complete freedom to go around and have fun and embrace all the beautiful sights.

Her hand rested snugly on your waist and you didn't resist from leaning into it. You enjoyed the occasional comforts of life, everything is temporary after all. Even if you'd never see Sparkle or Black Swan after this it wouldn't hurt to indulge in the companionship they offered you. "I thought you were too busy to dance," You commented offhandedly, eyes glancing down to her feet every few moments.

Black Swan hummed, appearing a bit confused at first before her vision cleared, "I had another partner but it appears that I got ahead of myself."

"That's always a shame," You replied with a comforting nod. You weren't sure what happened but it can be disappointing when things don't work out, "Still, unexpected results lead to new potential options and that's always fun." You smiled at Black Swan trying to console her as you squeezed her hand gently.

"I suppose you're right," She hummed voice low, eyes rested on you as if always examining you-- oh that's right! You wouldn't forget this time!

You averted your eyes from hers, "I don't mean to be presumptuous but..." Wasn't it arrogant to offer a memory to her? You were sure she'd seen of all kinds of memories, but... you still wanted to offer. "I've traveled a bit and been lucky enough to see some rare sights. I know you've seen a lot but if there's anything particular you want to see, I may have seen it."

That didn't come off as too arrogant right? Honestly, you'd be honored to have a memokeeper keep any of your memories and preserve them but having one look at them was an honor as well.

To your surprise Black Swan didn't reject your idea, at first her eyes widened a bit before relaxing as a sort of fondness entered them, "I've been quite curious myself. I won't intrude, dear." Your bodies remained in motion as she gazed into your eyes and the dance didn't stop.

After Black Swan's experience with Acheron she planned knew not to enter past memories lightly. But, you'd offered up so sweetly and with such hope in your eyes how couldn't she agree? She was curious as well, albeit she wasn't drawn to you like a moth to flame but there was always those lingering thoughts. You were transparent but your words open as they were seemed to lack a clear motive. She wouldn't dig too deeply into your memories just to be safe.

Your memories were clear they were orderly, each having their own place but always moving like an orderly line. Every few moments one would fall out of place and breeze by before finding a new place and the rest would adjust to accommodate it. Black Swan entered one, and immediately felt content. A sunset reached out and covered the landscape in a golden glow, many different kinds of flowers built up human shaped statues, and a soft blanket rested under her palms.

How pleasant, and new... She hadn't been here before, it had a sunset something you could see nearly everywhere but each individual detail added a sense of freshness. She entered another memory, and another. Was there nothing but joy and content in your life?

Each memory was a pleasant feeling that washed over her and kept her warm. She didn't want to leave. In a sense it was more dangerous than Acheron's memories which had tried to devour her bite by bite. But this was a lure, a sweet world with nothing but beauty as if it wanted to trap Black Swan forever. She entered another memory, which had been moving along pleasantly.

Peace washed over Black Swan and she felt her shoulders slump down, as she saw a sun take up half the space of the sky. A single flower to the left crumple onto stone. The death of a world. What had you been doing here?

Why... despite the lack of life and everything was it still so peaceful and warm. As if the act of death was one of beauty. As of with you everything was worthy of joy. Your memories were deceiving, Black Swan noted. She wanted to find a painful one, there had to be at least one, right?

And there were several, far out numbered by the golden soft ones that immersed her in feelings of ecstasy. But after being pampered with such rich memories, and after having almost been devoured by some (Acheron's) Black Swan couldn't bring herself to enter the pain. She would later, but for now she'd be safe, she wouldn't intrude.

At some point during the dance you began to feel cold. You kept an appropriate distance from Black Swan and was sure she didn't notice the way you leaned into her body slightly more. But after a few minutes of the non-stop dancing you felt her hand let go of yours and move around your back to hold you close.

"Thank you," Her voice held warmth in it that you hadn't heard from her before.

"It's beautiful right?" You weren't sure what memory she'd seen but you had many that were pleasing, although you were sure a memokeeper's expectations were higher than yours. Honestly, you could drink a good drink and that would be enough of a pleasing memory for you. Speaking of which you had a wonderful drink the first time you saw Sparkle, you should go get that again.

Black Swan looked into your eyes, a gentle smile on her face, "It is." And for once you felt slightly uncomfortable, as if you didn't understand what she was saying completely. But you brushed it off, you didn't understand after all you didn't know what memories she saw.

Black Swan truly thought you were a sight to behold. A gem, she'd almost missed out. And as she saw you dancing with Sparkle, Black Swan recognized you were a beauty she'd almost lost.

Somehow Sparkle had found out about you dancing with Black Swan and had demanded a dance. Of course she hadn't said it outright instead it was a part of a game. In order to sneak into some "evil castle" the two of you attended a ball in which you pretended to be normal guests but would likely later sneak off to what Sparkle proclaimed as "behind the stage." Coincidentally Penacony also had a dance right now, making the atmosphere perfect.

Of course, there was no evil castle, or grand scheme but it was a fun game. Sparkle dragged you between couples, keeping your bodies forever in a sway. She'd twirl into your arms and rest her head on your chest, tilting her head up with a foxish grin on her face. How precious. You'd let out a laugh, and then bring her into a dip.

Then she'd wring her hands around your neck, keeping it still, but not hurting you in the slightest, and a warm feeling would touch your lips. That... That wasn't right. But you might as well indulge in the moment, your time here was coming to a close. Every dream eventually had to end.

You leaned forward, eyes closed, and mind completely focused on the lips on yours. They were warm and soft, and although at first they'd been rather tentative at your reciprocation they pressed closer and Sparkle leaned closer to you as well.

Black Swan hadn't been expecting to see that. Of all of the things she was expecting today, this was the one she expected the least. Her fingers rested on her thigh as she gazed at the pair which was now dancing again. As much as she wanted to approach she remained stagnant, this event was just about to begin after all.

Even if Black Swan did interrupt even she wasn't sure of what she would say or do. Was she upset that the little lady had kissed her dear? Or was Black Swan upset that you had danced with her little lady. Perhaps, she was just feeling a bit excluded, but she hadn't felt this way since before she was a memokeeper.

Black Swan didn't have time to dwell on her feelings because the next moment your body had been impaled. You lurched forward, pushing Sparkle away as you for some reason tasted water rather than blood in your mouth. You let out a choked cough and crumpled to your knees, barely able to feel the pain. You wanted to run but-- it was all over now wasn't it? You'd never died before.

This hadn't gone to plan, was the first thing Sparkle realized. She might've gotten too distracted by you, and now she paid the price. Your dying face was new and beautiful but, she had a sinking realization she didn't want to see this again. Since this was a dream it'd be fine and her smile came quite easy to her, the laugh came out even easier.

How fun. But if you were dead then the fun would end wouldn't it? It seemed like Sparkle would have to take the stage after all and it seemed like her dear memokeeper was inclined to too.

You woke up, clothes sticking to your body, and jolted out of the water pod. You were alive. That was good, you still hadn't gotten that drink you liked here again. You got up from the pod, pulling your damps clothes off and replacing them with dry ones. What a bad end to a dream, you only had a few days left here too. You eyed the pod nervously, you didn't exactly want to revisit it now either. Maybe you'd leave Penacony a bit early.

Your hand drifted down to your stomach, there was no hole in it. What had stabbed you anyway? It's not like it mattered now. You walked out of your room, face more uneasy than normal. It was a shame you'd be leaving without bidding those beautiful women goodbye.

Before setting off for your next adventure you sat down at the bar and ordered a drink similar to the one you had in the dream world. It tasted slightly sweeter. How nice, even nicer were the lights on the ceiling. Intricately decorated. And the individual next to you was beautiful as well, with long lilac hair.

"It's pleasant to see you again Dear." Her voice was soft and adoring, eyes as sweet as honey.

You blinked in surprise, "Black Swan!" A smile grew on your face, you didn't think she would bother to make herself visible in the real world to you.

"Boo!" A smaller hand rested on your shoulder as a lighter voice whispered in your ear suddenly. You jolted upward, and felt warmth flood across your face.

"Sparkle!" You greeted her with as much enthusiasm as you hid Black Swan, her hands glided across your chest and onto your opposite shoulders holding you in a hug.

Black Swan examined the two of you, a smile remaining on her face affectionately. It felt strange. Like you were intruding on a scene, like you weren't meant to be here. "Little lady, don't go overboard. I'm sure our dear is already feeling overwhelmed after all that's happened." Her glove hand brushed against your cheek.

Okay. You didn't know how to deal with this. When two women out of your league were so physically close. It wasn't that you weren't a catch yourself just, a memokeeper and Sparkle was beyond gorgeous herself. Maybe if you just stayed still they'd go away.

Sparkle poked your cheek and you remained perfectly still. And who could blame you? This was a bit overwhelming. You had just died what felt to be a few moments ago anyway and that... that wasn't pleasant. It was new but for once you wanted to go in your room and just sleep it off, or adventure until you forgot about it or distorted it into a memory of beauty.

"...Hey, you're not broken yet, right? There's so much fun to be had!" Sparkle's voice sounded worried at first before turning into her usual enthusiastic tone. You could feel her breath against your ear, the warmth of her arms around you, and the sudden loss of Black Swan's hand against your cheek.

Black Swan let out a gentle sigh, "I suppose it'd be too much to hope for you to be immediately the same after that." Her gaze was pitying to which you lifted an eyebrow.

"Well having experienced death does that," You muttered, "It'll disappear with time." Your words were nonchalant despite the severity of what had happened, and you shrugged Sparkle's arms off or at least you tried to.

Instead the smaller girl linked her hands around your waist and pressed her face against your back, "Now, that's the spirit!" She cheered, "What should we do next?" She paused, "Oh! Let's get into the Genius Society! I wanna impersonate a genius! And you, can have Black Swan whisper you the answers!"

Ooo that actually sounded pretty fun, the Genius Society even you had never been able to seen behind their walls. Wait-- you had work to do though, work which would thankfully let you see rare sights. Although you were pretty sure your next job was one of the less savory ones, the planet you were heading to was torn apart by war. War was such a disgusting thing, leaving behind only murder in its path. But from all the dead bodies one day would spring flowers.

You could've been one of those bodies. Although you doubted any flowers would be able to grow in the dream pod you'd been sleeping in. Your body wouldn't have even been beautiful in the end. That's what will happen if you get complacent, like you were on vacation.

"That does sound fun," You admitted gazing over your shoulder to Sparkle, "But, my break is over! Things to do, people to meet, you know how it is." Sparkle's arms froze around you and you lightly brushed them off, getting up from the bar stool.

When you went to leave it was Black Swan who stopped you, arm resting on your shoulder, and pulling you close as if to embrace you, "Remember Dear, you have to rest. It's been a lot hasn't it? Would you like me to walk you back to your room?" She offered politely, and you smiled graciously in response.

"Thanks! But, I didn't really pack much. I was planning to just head out, actually. I'm happy I got to see the both of you again though!" You rested one hand on Black Swan's bicep, squeezing it affectionately, and the other on Sparkle's head, gently patting her hair and then running your hand down to her neck.

This had been a fun journey, despite... your death. It wasn't really a death it was in the dream world but maybe whether or not it was real didn't matter. But how it effected you did. So as long as you changed the effect it would be okay. Your dream world death was a new and wonderful experience-- yeah that just didn't sit right with you. The lighting seemed off in the room for a moment as Sparkle jumped up from her chair and walked over to you, presumably for a hug.

You'd been hugged out but it was likely the last time you'd see her, and a bit of indulgence in the warmth she offered wouldn't hurt you. But her knocking you out did.

Black Swan let out an aggrieved sigh, "Did you have to do that?" For once some annoyance seeped into her voice. "I thought you would like the chase," She then mentioned offhandedly.

"It's the most fun part," Sparkle remarked looking at your body on the floor a smile on her face, "But how are you supposed to chase someone's that's dead? ...That ends the game. It'd be great if the fun could last forever! So why can't it?" She let out a laugh, that was less out of amusement and more out of clinging onto the little sanity she had left.

"You're worried," Black Swan kneeled down, and put one arm around her shoulder as your other arm was placed around Sparkle's.

Sparkle turned to Black Swan, still smiling, "Of course! I don't want to miss out on all of the fun!"

You couldn't help but laugh even if it was at your own detriment. It seemed like Sparkle had finally found you, "Took you long enough!" You teased her, the sun remained low in the sky. You forced your shoulders to relax, they were oddly tense.

A bird fluttered above the two of you, resting on a tree branch. "All I hear is a sore loser, I still caught you!" Sparkle's voice was filled with glee as she linked your arms together, "You're mine now, okay!"

"I always have been," You responded to your lover staring at the sun that would forever remain in its Golden Hour, "...You know, I've always wanted to leave home..." You admitted, you wondered when Black Swan would be back. It wasn't quite the same without her.

Thankfully you didn't have to wonder for long as you saw the beautiful woman stepped out of the house. You began to tremble when you saw her. You wondered why... Perhaps out of excitement? If it was anyone else you would've guessed that your trembling was out of fear.

Black Swan walked over to the two of you, practically gliding, "Are you ready to leave now?" She asked you gently, to which your face became alit with excitement, "I suppose Sparkle and I do have to leave soon anyway," Black Swan let out a mellow sigh, "Would you like to join us?"

You didn't think even for a second, "Of course!" You ran to embrace Black Swan, feeling her chest move against yours with every breath.

You'd always wanted to leave the Golden Hour, and to be able to leave with your two new lovers seemed like the best thing that could happen! Perhaps you'd be able to see some fish at the bottom of the sea, or a world die, or some of Sparkle's fun pranks! But you were happiest to stay by their side. That was all that mattered, after all they were the ones who brought light into your life.

Keeping you safe had come at a cost, but all good things require a little sacrifice. You'd still be the same person just without the same parts, well memories. It didn't matter anyway you'd have plenty of memories to replace the ones which had been altered and lost.

Black Swan would fill you with more honeyed memories and Sparkle would bring color to them all.

A free bird sings better than a caged one. And even though the singing was exactly what attracted them in the first place, it'd be better to keep you safe, right where they can see you. But if that bird stops to sing then maybe they'll have to let out. Or make it believe that it was let out by keeping it in a dream. So that even once it wakes up from the dream it'll still believe it's free.

ANYWAY WHILE I WAS IN THE PROCESS OF WRITING THIS I SENT IT TO MY FRIEND ALL PEEPOSHY HEY U WANNA READ IT (first fanfic of mine they would have read that isn't about our friends). AND DISCORD DID THE DUMBASS THING OF SENDING IT IN A .TXT SO I WAS LIKE: aw man don't worry about it

anyway this mf reads it anyway scrolling right and left and down bcus the .txt format is SO bad I straight up just copy pasted it idk why discord was being so bitchy. And like-- they read it so fucking kind and nice :) im blessed with good friends

Per usual I am realizing how infinitely shitty I am at writing head canons (everything just turns into a fic) if this wasn't to your liking send a request and I can try to amend it to more just ideas but generally by the time I get started on the first question (what makes them interested in you) it's already a story and I forgot I was answering a request.

My big idea for this one were strongly inspired by how Black Swan remarks that Sparkle is like a child, as she always seems to be craving affection/approval, and that makes her easy to please. Also Sparkle is so hard to write like her dialogue is chaotic but it's like held within a line idk it's weird I was trying to mimic it but I don't think it came out too well. Also I wanted to add more Black Swan x Sparkle but it just didn't work out that way when I was writing it, don't blame me I can't control what I write (you can blame me).

[darkpetal16]

totally not someone you know from the discord nope not at all but may i request a lil romantic/cute thing of US! Sans :3

I see you person I definitely don’t know.

The first picture you take together of the two of you, he’ll have it custom-made into a one thousand-piece puzzle. Then he’ll put it together, spray it with a glue to keep it together, and frame it.

He’ll do something similar with a lot of pictures you take together. He’ll include them as stand ins for game pieces, turn them into puzzles, or even use them as part of a puzzle box.

Keeps a notebook-turned-scrapbook about you. Yes, he’ll memorize the important things, but he also likes you and being crafty. Combining his two favorite things feels like a no-brainer to him.

Expect a lot of hand made gifts.

Spontaneous! Kidnappings!

In a good way.

It's spontaneous to you. Not your boss. He'll have a date planned out in advance and stealthily set up for you to leave work early. He'll show up with a bouquet of your favorite flowers (or favorite color of flowers if you don't have a specific flower you like) and pull you away for a surprise date.

He LOVES cooking together.

It doesn't have to be a flawless meal. In truth, he enjoys the chaos of just throwing things together and seeing how it turns out. Good or bad, if it's made with love, he'll merrily chow down on it.

Active. Unless you are physically incapable of running, he's pushing you to do morning runs with him. It's good for your physical and mental health.

He wants to live a long, long time with you, so you have to take care of yourself! Gripe and grumble all you want, he WILL drag you out if he has to. Being healthy is non-negotiable for him, and he considers it the bare minimum to being a functioning adult.

If you need help to get there--he's got your back! He'll be your personal cheerleader, coach, and dietician. Whatever you need to help you live your best life.

(If it ever gets too much, just ask Stretch for help. He knows breaks are every bit as important as the work.)

Hammock cuddles.

Specifically, either in their attic with the skylight to see the stars, or on the roof if it's a pleasant enough night. He's a big fan of the swaying motion a hammock makes, and getting to cuddle so close to you at the same time? He couldn't ask for anything better.

Physically affectionate.

Hand holding, side hugs, arm-links, head bumps, lap-sitting, etc. He's all for it.

Cannot sit still unless he's receiving affection; even then it's on a timer. Would rather give than receive affection because of how much energy he has to burn.

Has a goodbye routine. He needs a forehead kiss, to wish you a good day, and for you to promise you'll drink water. If the routine is broken or not met, the whole day feels off to him.

Hiking!

If you're too out of shape for some of the views he wants to show you, he will carry you. He's not letting you miss out on the BEST spot to watch meteor showers.

Matching outfits. Because all the cool couples have them.

PLAY IF - UNDERSWAP FOR HIS ROUTE HERE

MASTERLIST