#and the stuff doesn't show up in the friggin tags

[bronx-bomber87]

Hello there lovely Fandom. Three eps in already what a trip. Once again did my best to keep this brief, concise but hitting on stuff as I watched it. Given up on the gif library till the summer so just my handmade ones till then ha lets get going.

6x03 Trouble in Paradise

Mmmm hello jammy's Tim I love you so. Asking her if she’s slept at all? Looking too damn attractive leaning against her door frame. She also looks adorable in her morning attire as well. Poor Lucy so stressed about the oral exam and friggin Primm. What a dick throwing out her cookies.

God I love Tim trying so hard to control her spiral about it. Saying she can only control herself. Trying to pry the highlighter away LOL He is giving her solid advice and she just isn’t about it lmao Poor man. I get it when I’m in my own anxious neurosis I’m same way as Lucy.

Tim tapping out knowing she won’t take a break. Knowing a lost cause when he sees one. I love her only doing so when he gives up. Chasing after her man and the shower he’s gonna take. Heh Hello shower sex. Welcome back. That’s a good break Lucy haha I'm jealous. Mmmm Tim is a glorious study break and stress reliever. I can't wait for the fic's spawned out of this moment.

How did Lucy end up in a room with Smitty practicing her oral exam? LOL He doesn’t have the worst idea about Primm have to say....Tim getting distracted by Lucy’s practicing with Smitty in the other room when he should be focusing. Loved this.

Knowing he needs to intercede when he can but barks at Celina to set up the shop first. Yum. Smitty giving her the details on Primm lmao Lucy getting excited cause she’s a dog person too haha Me too Luce me too. Tim interrupting asking WTF is going on? I’m dying.

Smitty says he’s helping her with her exam. So proud of himself. Tim asking her if this falls in line with not over preparing? It does not... Lucy deflecting saying it's Smitty though. Lmao poor guy. Tim forcing her to take a break with him and Celina. Love this. The birth charts comment oh Timothy I love you so much.

Heh I’m going to love this trio I can already tell. Also Tim saying ‘Juarez’ getting me all in my feels. God will always love Eric’s inflection makes me all feral. Lucy watching from the back seat with affectionate heart eyes. This is gonna be good.

Lucy of course brings up Aaron and how awkward it currently is. Tim immediately pulling over and scolding her I’m rolling. Lucy isn’t wrong he didn’t say boys LOL Be more married you two my god. Adoring this ep so much. Getting back to their banter in this one and I'm here for it.

Mmm loving that Metro Call sign. Idk why it's so attractive to me but it is. Love Tim and Lucy side-barring about this dude and his "Amnesia." They are Co-T.O.'ing in this episode and I'm loving sfm. Also always love me a height difference shot. Look at them. Good stuff.

Tim’s being utterly over this guy is hilarious as they interview him. (Lack of person space too. Forever love this) Eric killing with the expressions per usual. Lucy of course has the reins for this interview cause Tim wants to pop this guy ha. Classic Tim/Lucy. She is the empathetic one and Tim is doubtful af. 'Grumpy x Sunshine 'at it's finest in this moment.

It is delightful to watch Lucy tag along while he’s in T.O. mode. She is enjoying herself haha The heart eyes as she watches him in action making my shipper heart happy. Although her stepping in when he’s sweating Celina is too hilarious. God I love we are in this place with them. She can step in and gives Celina a break and Tim won't eat her.

Then she continues on to give him crap for not giving her any praise. Wifey being extra wifey in this moment. Oh my word their banter after Celina leaves. My heart. ‘Have I not softened you at all?’ Oh you have Lucy. The man went from granite to butter. Just continually shows you Lucy was always different. He doesn't treat any other boot like he did her.

Oh my god he looks sinfully delicious getting dressed while she’s waking up. Scruffy and in a black shirt. I’m fanning myself. Oh my lord. I wanna climb that man like a damn tree. Those buttons are meant to be ripped apart and off him. Phew lord. What a view to wake up to. Also never be over him just always having stuff at her place. Basically living together *screams into pillow* That sweet smile of his too good lord I'm faint. God he loves her so much. Just exudes out of this man in the smallest ways like this.

That black shirt he’s buttoning up mmmm making all kinds of feral with seeing part of his chest. He is so confident as he speaks about her resting. No regrets letting her sleep in. I bet you he watched her sleep for a bit before getting ready fully*happy sigh*. My god the looks he gives her when she thanks him. I cannot. This was such a lovely moment till she gets a text her test was in 20 minutes…..

Poor Lucy of course she’s the last one in. This made me so angry to watch her waiting. Hate this Primm putz so much. Stresssssssss watching this entire scene. Oh my lord. Hate Lucy having to defend herself to this prick. Of course he brings up the 6x01 crime scene bleh. I think she defended herself pretty well IMO. I was on edge and anxious as I watched this unfold. Feeling sick for her and angry too. Her career has been exemplary. Wanted to protect her from this absolute BS assault on her.

This scene GUTTED me. The music plus Melissa's expression I wanted to cry for her. Hug her. I knew when Grey walked up it wasn't good news. Ughhhhhhhh 17 blooody 17... I'm so angry for her it’s insane. What a shit Primm is. Like that man didn't benefit from that 5 player trade she did. My rage knows no bounds for her in this moment. Melissa's conveying so much in this moment. Well done madam. Nolan gets everything handed to him she fights tooth and nail and gets screwed for helping the man she loves out. I’m livid for her. Sure the depths of my anger will be more detailed in my summer review. For now I want punt Primm into the sun.

17th sucks a lot. If that score is combined with her written. Maybe she did over prepare. Or it's a mixture of that and her Oral not going well due to Primm. Either way it sucks. I will say I love this puppy of a man. He wrote a 7 on the award afterwards. Just to make her laugh. My damn heart. Upped his romantic game so much for her. He got this BEFORE she passed. So convinced she would be number one.

Look at the smile on Tim's face as he hands her it. He's so happy he's made her laugh. Even before they were together he always took it upon himself to make her feel better. He has sharpened that skill ten fold since they got together. Her Metro joke is cute haha Joking right back feeding off his energy. Love this. Look at her at the start of the scene and the end of this portion. He got her in a much better mood.

I love how sincere he is when he says yes he thought she’d be first. Of course he did. He believes in her SO MUCH. Why the lie detector got it wrong in that regard. This man loves you so much Lucy. She doesn't have an ounce of regret for that 5 player trade. Not once has she voiced that or hinted at that. In this moment all she can think about is how she disappointed him. The sweet kiss after he tells Lucy she could never disappoint him. *heart clutch* How far we’ve come people. Still blows me away. Lucy saying how cute the award is. It really is.

God damn I love how this relationship has made Tim so adorably romantic and soft. He's her marshmallow. Tim is so proud of himself for doing good with this. I’m beaming from how cute this moment is. The heart eyes as she tells him he did a good job. I’m dying. Friggin love this ship so much everyone. Makes my heart so happy he’s there to pick up the pieces. Makes her smile and laugh after a crushing defeat. Look at this goober of a man. Getting her to laugh and lifting her up at the same time. It’ll be interesting to see where Lucy goes after this.

Sucks she was sabotaged but a new career path might not be worst idea? I feel slightly relieved this SL of the exam has gotten its conclusion. Might not be the one we wanted for her...but I am excited to see where this goes for her career wise. It's Lucy whatever she puts her mind to she will dominate. I do love this final scene so much. How much lighter I felt after it. Gave me all the feels in best way. Look at our babies figuring out life together. I love them so much. Sucks we won't have anything for 3 friggin weeks but I understand with only having ten eps to play with.

~~~

Side notes-non Chenford

Gonna be real honest could care less bout Nolan and his honeymoon. Snooze fest nation. Never been a huge Bailey fan. I was always a Grace fan personally.... Also them touching everything without gloves WTF LOL

Poor Aaron and Celina so awkward. Hope they inch back toward their original friendship.

Only good thing about their honeymoon is Harper and Angela showing up like BAMF's.

Love Grey checking in with Tim about Lucy and Celina. Their friendship is a dark horse. I love it when we get it. Underrated gem.

[greetingfromthedead]

Happy Trigun Fanfiction Appreciation Week!

While I encourage all the fantastic creators of this community, I just wanted to promote some of my lovely moots and other friends! ❤

While this includes ficrecs, you should definitely go and check out all their other work too! If you're at all into x Reader, you'll find plenty of lovely stuff on their blogs!

@jellys-compendium

Masterlist

💜My Papa (~1k words)

💜 Raiting: Everyone

💜 Pairing: Dad!Vash x reader, but it's mostly Vash being adorable with his kids

💜 Summary: A Cozy Dad!Vash Drabble. Vash tries to teach his two rambunctious twins a new word.

💜 Review: It is so friggin' cute! Vash being a dad is so adorable and if that's not enough to entice you to go read it, idk what will! It also inspired me to write my own Dad!Vash fic so that's something!

❤️ Lovebug (7.9k words)

❤️ Raiting: Explicit

❤️ Pairing: Sinister!Vash x f!Reader

❤️ Summary: You've been running for a long time, miraculously evading the destructive storm on your heels. But one fateful night you find yourself trapped and unable to escape the humanoid typhoon any longer. He'll make you regret running from him.

❤️ Review: It is so dark and so hot. Sweet god, it's like a Finnish sauna. Check the tags, but oml, it had be reeling.

@triplesilverstar

Masterlist

💜 A kiss in the rain (~0.3k words, but part of a much larger and fantastic series)

💜 Raiting: Everyone

💜 Pairing: Vash x f!Reader

💜 Summary: A rare occurrence happens on the desert planet.

💜 Review: This is adorable! A quick fluffy pick-me-up, but you should check out the rest of the "Of Bandits, Bullets, Ghosts, & Typhoons" series too!!!

❤️ A so called God on a mountain top? Well, better then freezing to death (~3k words, but there's a part 2!)

❤️ Raiting: Explicit

❤️ Pairing: God!Vash x f!Reader

❤️ Summary: You had gone to the area to learn about the local wildlife and the fauna. Sure the villagers were wary of outsiders, but you honestly hadn't expected to be drugged and tied to a slab on the mountaintop in nothing but a flimsy robe. So when a handsome blond stranger shows up claiming to be a God who are you to argue?

❤️ Review: This God!AU is fantastic! The smut is hot AF and Vash has feathers! What more do you need? This will have you hot and bothered in no time. And if you're like me, it will rot your brain too and inspire you to ponder your own take on the God!AU, it's just that good.

@novasintheroom

Masterlist

💜 A home for you and me (0.9k words, but part of the 150 Bullets drabble series)

💜 Raiting: Everyone

💜 Pairing: Vash x gn!Reader

💜 Summary: It's a new chapter in your lives and you both have to get used to the concept of actually having a home.

💜 Review: This is so cute and wholesome!!! Reader having zoomies is absolutely a mood and Vash is also so cute! This series is filled with such adorable stories!

❤️ Memories (0.7k words, but is part of the 150 Bullets drabble series)

❤️ Raiting: Everyone

❤️ Pairing: Vash x gn!Reader

❤️ Summary: Vash is plagued by unpleasant memories, but good thing you're there to be a shoulder to lean on.

❤️ Review: A bit angsty, but also so fluffy and wholesome like it should be! It's a great read and seeing into Vash's head is always such a wonderful experience in stories like this!

@bendycxmet

Masterlist

💜 Sleep Date (~1.2k words)

💜 Raiting: Everyone

💜 Pairing: Vash x gn!Reader

💜 Summary: Most of your and Vash's dates consist of getting cozy beneath the covers.

💜 Review: Really cute and fluffy! Who wouldn't want to try and crawl into his skin? So cuddly and sweet!

❤️ Crowd (~1.5k words)

❤️ Raiting: Everyone

❤️ Pairing: Wolfwood x gn!Reader

❤️ Summary: You watch as Wolfwood tries to find you in a crowd.

❤️ Review: This had be giddy and it has so many lovely descriptions. Wolfwood doesn't get enough love, but this makes up for it! It's super cute!

@vashs-turtleneck

Mastelist

💜 Stay (~0.4k words)

💜 Raiting: Everyone

💜 Pairing: Vash x gn!Reader

💜 Summary: Waking up the morning after next to your favorite travel companion.

💜 Review: It's a touch angsty, but mostly just cute fluff! A good wholesome read! Vash is just as cute as ever in this one!

❤️ Sharing is Caring (3.1k words)

❤️ Raiting: Explicit

❤️ Pairing: Vash x f!Reader x Wolfwood

❤️ Summary: You, Vash, and Wolfwood have a bit of a wild evening together.

❤️ Review: This is absolutely delicious! this fic will stay with you for a while and put dirty thoughts in your head long after you've finished reading it. It is so god damn hot. I mean you get a threesome with Vash and Wolfwood. What else is there to say???

If you've scrolled this far: Thank you for your attention! Please, go check out these fantastic creators and also all the other stuff under the tag #trigunfanficappreciation! This is a fantastic community with so many talented creators and artists! I'm sure everyone will find something they enjoy here!

If you enjoy what creators put out, please please please, show them some love! Comment, reblog and like! It motivates your favorites to keep writing and creating art! Thank you!

Thank you @trigunfanfic / @beelzebby666 for this event! ❤❤❤

[bloodyentrails]

Your tags about titans assuming the viewers will hate Jason are so right!! He's a normal ADHD kid with normal trauma from a shitty childhood and they legit treat him like he's the friggin devil or something 😭 never gonna be over it 🥺🥺🥺

jason always feels like the most personable character in that show to me. idk if personable is a good word, but he feels like he has authentic reactions to stuff in an environment where all the other characters seem to sniff each other out constantly or hide all their feelings or are otherwise deceptive. he doesn't trust them for that reason. he doesn't trust them because they behave like assholes! he doesn't trust them because they treat him like this.

he would very much like to trust them??!!

and i think out of the conflict arise most of his actions.

and i mean, personally, i very much struggle to trust people and especially ESPECIALLY if they have behaved shitty towards me, if they take me for granted or, worse, think i'm incompetent.

anyway, this is a very believable conflict to me. and it absolutely kills me that this exists as one layer in the show but the other layer absolutely exists to contradict it. these people have to be trusted because they will save the world. these people have to be trusted because they are experienced. these people have to be trusted because they have the right pedigree?

i really hate that they set the kid with the most sense up as an antagonist. it's such a structural problem to me, because they are asking the audience to root for people who seem incompetent at every level and also ask me to find jason a nuisance at best.

i really wish they'd approached the story, such as it is, not with a view towards the goal but as stemming from the characters. they seem to have approached it from a structural pov and so move characters in and around it as the plot demands but it's very inorganic and creates these problems for me.

but jason as a character who is in continuous dialogue with a metatextual comic book history level paradoxically feels like the only character in this who happens to have landed in a story that doesn't love him at all. it shows him as a flawed person with a lot of intelligence and resourcefulness and wit whereas many other characters seem to lack entirely in personality or conscience, and it somehow also wants us to hate him.

[verycharismaticdragon]

Tag 10 People You Wanna Get to Know Better

tagged by @mu-qingfang-stan-account ty <3

relationship status: single (as in "too scared to try finding someone to date considering the state of queer rights here rn")

favorite colors: *james pokemon voice* its lavender (but honestly purple in all shades. my life have improved immensely when i started dyeing my hair purple and getting clothes to match)

favorite food: this is so broad uh... if its sweet stuff I gotta go with ice cream because whatever u want. it got u. and if we are talking about proper meal foods i think i gotta say chicken. shes so versatile what cant she do

song stuck in your head: oughh i cycle thru so many... i guess Leia (Rondo cover) came up a lot in the last few days

last thing you googled: spelling of some word, dont remember which. i often do this bcus im not confident in my spellings, esp with longer words, because I only learned them visually and that doesn't necessarily mean all letters or in the right order. wait i think it was resurrect, i keep forgeting if its two "s"s or two "r"s in there (yes i googled it again to spell it rn)

time: 13:40

dream trip: listen this is just gonna be sad if i answer it, so lets not

last thing you read: I'm currently super mega slowly rereading Scum Villain - like, taking notes every page slowly - so that's been going for the past month or so. If we're talking finished, then pipi's You Fei.

last book you enjoyed reading: I did enjoy Fei a whole lot! As usual, I'm a sucker for priest's ability to entwine some absolute clownery with so much subtle (and sometimes not subtle) heartbreak. Also the more I hear from my friend who branches out into BG cnovels/cdramas the more I realize how special a female protagonist like Fei is.

last book you hated reading: a danmei novel that shall remain unnamed bcus it was recced by a mutual. meanwhile i regret finishing it. the plot was such a friggin soap opera. literally almost Every soap opera trope. i'm surprised nobody's clone showed up, it wouldnt have been out of place! the ship dynamic was good so i finished to get their happy ending but. kinda felt that it wasn't worth it in the end.

favorite thing to cook/bake: gotta be meringues, as long as you know the perfect time for your particular oven theyre literally SO easy to make. and tasty. I like making blini too but they are kinda stressful because you gotta stay on them the entire time.

favorite craft to do in your free time: cross-stitch, it's somehow just the right proportion of mindlessness and engagement for me

most niche dislike: there's this special kind of annoying fans that make me dislike thing that they are fan of literally just because it becomes associated in my mind with their annoyingness. (I don't know how to explain every nuance of how they are annoying, but most often it involves being shitty about something else, that I already like.) And it kinda pisses me off not just on its own, but also on behalf of the thing they are fan of. Like - it usually doesn't deserve my ire! it's literally just the fans, and only some specific ones! But I can't stop my brain from cringing at the sight of the thing. ugh. So: hate it when this happens.

opinion on circuses: im more interested in the aesthetic concept of circuses than in any real ones.

do you have any sense of direction: yeah im pretty good with it, both in "reading maps" way and in "understanding where things are located relative to each other and alternate routes/shortcuts" way

tagging: god please I always forget every single person I ever seen or talked to when it comes to tagging. Literally any of my followers, I'm interested, I wanna hear about u, if you'd like to do this say i tagged you and go off

[apicturewithasmile]

ah nice, tumblr is doing that thing again where it’s not showing my posts in the tags. I mean, sure... how dare I post not one but two gif sets of the same show on the same day, like... 7 hours apart. that’s definitly spamming the tag, right?

[novantinuum]

Crack the Paragon, Chapter 8

Fandom: Steven Universe

Rating: General Audiences

Words: 6.5K~

Summary: In another world, he doesn’t have his mother’s sword or shield to hide behind when Bismuth lands her strike. The bubble pops.

Steven falls apart.

Chapter summary: In which together breakfast can’t solve everything.

You can find the first/previous chapter and AO3 links in the reblogs! (I have to omit them from the original post these days to ensure this will show up in the tags.) If you enjoyed this, I’d greatly appreciate your support through reblogs here, or kudos on AO3 as well. 

_

Chapter 8: Fissures

In time, the rest of the household bursts to life.

His dad wakes up an hour or so later on his own accord, rolling out of bed and groggily stumbling into the bathroom to soak in the shower for a solid twenty minutes. Steven eagerly shares the good news— I’m whole again!— after he finally emerges, and while it takes a fair moment for his still half-conscious mind to fully grasp what he’s attempting to explain, when the message finally lands Dad lifts him off the floor and spins him around in his arms, laughing with joy. Compared to Pearl, his reaction to the gem’s rotation is minimal, which comes as a sweet relief.

“I’m just glad to see ya’ smiling and in one piece again,” he says, holding him close.

After sharing an amicable nod of greeting with Pearl, his dad sets out from the house to check on his van, promising he’ll be back in a few minutes. Apparently he needs to lock it, because he totally forgot last night. Again. Also, he did say he’d grab the waffle iron before he went to bed, so fingers crossed for that. Steven’s mouth waters at the mere thought of Dad’s homemade waffles, golden, crisp, and stacked sky high, their flavor— buttery, with a hint of lemon zest— bursting like fireworks against his tongue. Nobody makes waffles like he can, not even Pearl. While waiting for Dad to return with breakfast materials, he changes into clean jeans and a shirt. Lazily, he flops onto his belly on the couch with plans of playing Splashy Shark on his phone, only to find...

Steven groans, dropping his head face first into the middle of the cushion. His phone’s battery is so low it won’t turn on at all. Dead as a doorstop! It seems he forgot to plug it in before falling asleep once more, for the umpteenth thousandth time, even though he tried to remind himself early this morning on the beach. Typical.

“Is the world ending again over there?” Pearl— currently lounging at the kitchen counter— asks with a playful lilt to her voice. “Do we need to call in the rest of the resistance?”

“Noooo, it’s fine,” he replies, drawn out. “This is a path I must walk alone, for I’m the lad who forgets.” He rolls over onto his back, stretching his free arm towards the ceiling as if desperately reaching towards the stars. “And to forget is the dark burden I bear,” he whispers dramatically.

“You didn’t plug your phone in last night, did you?”

“Whoa, how’d you guess??”

“Steven, you do realize I’ve lived with you for almost three years, yes?”

“Oh,” he says, brows shooting up. “Right!”

Humming, he pulls himself off the couch and trots up the steps to the loft. He sets his phone on his nightstand and connects it to the charge cord. Unfortunately, it'll take a while for it to build up enough juice to turn on again. That’ll teach him. Or maybe it won’t, time will tell. He hopes it won’t be out of commission for too long, though, because he really should call Connie about all this…

The temple door begins to open. He rapidly turns upon hearing that familiar sound, just in time to see Amethyst emerging from the depths of her room. Her hair is a mess, her eyes droop in exhaustion, and for a moment one of her fingers digs halfway up her nose. More than anything, she looks like she needs a great big hug.

“Hey,” she mutters, and yawns. “Any word on ol’ Steven 2?”

“Amethyst, Amethyst, Amethyst,” he hollers, beaming from ear to ear, and leaps from the loft to greet her. He doesn’t even bother floating, with no need for a soft landing from this height. The impact of his bare feet against the floorboards reverberates through the whole house. “Guess what??”

He flings himself around the purple Gem, almost knocking her clear over in the shock of surprise affection. (Although by this point, if she’s not used to his hug attacks that’s her problem.)

“Uhhh, what?” she says, face blank even in the wake of his effervescent enthusiasm.

Pearl’s hands go to her hips. “Steven, what have I told you about jumping from the loft?

“I’m the full package again,” he declares, and throws his arms wide, pointedly ignoring her for the moment. “My gem reformed and then we fused!”

Despite her low energy otherwise, Amethyst cracks a grin at his good news. “Whoa, really? When was this?”

“This morning! I was up super early. Couldn’t sleep.”

“Sheesh. You and me both, bud.”

“At least you don’t actually need to sleep. Lucky.”

“Yeah, but I’ve been making a habit of it for so long that not sleeping pretty much has the same affect,” she says, and crosses to sit on the couch. She stretches back, body sinking into the familiar curves of the cushion she always claims. She props one of her hands behind her mass of lavender hair. “Ah, that’s more like it! So… after everything,” she begins cautiously, balling the other hand up against her gemstone, right against the facet she herself cracked about a year and a half ago. “How do you feel now?”

He shrugs one shoulder, the corner of his mouth twisting upwards. “Okay, I guess. I’m in one piece, but… everything’s different now, y’know? Even though I don’t want it to be.”

Her expression grows more downcast, the fringe of her hair shadowing her features. “Yeah.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Steven catches Pearl watching their conversation from the kitchen. It’s painfully obvious she’s trying to keep her dutiful surveillance on the down-low, her side glances interspersed with time spent washing raspberries and gathering waffle ingredients for his Dad, but he doesn’t get why this secrecy is necessary on her part. It’s not like they’re not openly discussing this in the middle of the house. If he and Amethyst really wanted to talk privately they’d wander outside, or into her room. Nonetheless, there’s nothing he could say that Pearl hasn’t already heard.

Although now that he thinks about it, there’s plenty of stuff he hasn’t told Amethyst yet. He purses his lips, unable to shake the thought of her visceral reaction to the reveal about his mo— about Rose— that dropped like an anvil on their family last night. With that in mind, how will she respond to the permanent visual reminder of this change that he now embodies?

With a quick glance between Pearl and the doorway his dad left through, his mind is made. If he isn’t forthright now, she’ll find out eventually. He figures it’s better she hears it from him rather than through the grapevine.

“Y’know, I should probably mention,” he says with a half laugh. “My gem did a bit of a weird thing. It kinda… flipped?” To prove his point, Steven lifts up the hem of his t-shirt, barring the diamond for all to see.

Amethyst squints as she peers at his gem. “What the fu—“

“Amethyst,” Pearl interjects sternly, crossing towards the pair of them.

“—uuuuuudge is that? Gems can do that??”

She rolls her eyes. “Somehow I doubt that every Gem can—“

“Oooo, lemme try!” she gleefully squeals, leaping to her feet in one bound and throwing her arms aloft.

Her gemstone begins to glow a soft purple as the finer details of her form blur into an indistinguishable mass of light. The edges of this light bend and wobble, and she seethes in intense concentration, but despite her efforts her gemstone refuses to budge.

Gasping for breath, her hard light form snaps back into its customary shape like a rubber band. The light fades, revealing her scowl. “Aww man, no fair! Everyone else gets all the cool powers.”

“Haha, well I didn’t exactly do it on purpose,” Steven says, shrugging nonchalantly.

The screen door slams open, prompting everyone in the room to sling their attention to the man standing tall and proud with the cast iron kitchen appliance brandished like a sword in his hands.

“Who’s excited for waffles??” he asks, his grin contagious.

Steven shoots his hand in the air. “Oooh, me, me! I’m excited for waffles!”

“Then guess today’s your lucky day,” he chuckles, moving across the house to the counter. “Pearl, ‘ya wanna help a man out here?”

“Ah, yes!” she chimes, raising en pointe as she triumphantly jabs her finger in the air. “Of course! I’ve even taken the liberty of gathering the ingredients for you already.”

Dad stutters for a moment, clearly not expecting this turn of events considering her former animosity towards him. Their family trip to Empire City— the night the tides forever changed— wasn’t that long ago, after all. He threads anxious fingers through a thick length of hair.

“Wow, you, uh- thank you.”

Steven follows them to the kitchen area, stars in his eyes as he rapturously watches their amicable interactions. Showcasing a surprising capacity for teamwork, they set up the waffle iron and start to prepare that gooey, delicious batter. His mouth waters at the mere scent of the lemon his dad squeezes into the bowl. Acting on unspoken impulse, Pearl grabs a whisk and accepts the bowl from him, beating the mix of ingredients until it’s reached the perfect consistency. The tastiest pancakes and waffles come from batter that’s still a little lumpy, his dad always says, since that causes them to rise better. In any case, his taste buds can hardly wait.

“I’m so hungry I think I could eat like, four bazillion waffles,” he tells Amethyst in the most candid voice he can muster, relocating to the couch she’s lounging on with a hop and a skip.

“Heh,” she says, a suitably up-to-no-good smirk framing her face. “Not if I get to all of ‘em first!”

“Whaaat? Naw, come on, you wouldn’t do that to your favorite Steven!”

“Are you kidding? I’d steal food from myself! After I swallowed it.”

“Ewww,” he laughs, his nose scrunching up.

They continue to laugh together for a solid few seconds, but the enthusiasm holding their facades together so precariously soon fades. Meanwhile, in the background Dad and Pearl converse as easily as if they’d never carried a decades-long feud to begin with. (Oh, the sweet irony of this reversal!) Steven clamps his lips together, for once clueless what to say to Amethyst to make everything better. Their conversations aren’t usually like this. They aren’t so… stilted, like he has to traverse across a lake of thin ice. He sighs, feeling his chest rise and fall with a weight almost heavier than the memory of the last few hours. That’s the one thing he fears most, if he’s honest about all this— that as a consequence of the mess Rose left him, his relationships with the Gems will never be the same again.

He can only guess Amethyst heard his sigh, because she’s the one who first moves to break the silence.

“Hey, uh,” she begins quietly, and shoots a quick glance at Pearl, meeting her eyes briefly before looking back at him. “I’m sorry for… well, everything, really. That I said last night.”

He frowns, the memory of her words’ sting suddenly looping itself in his mind like a broken record.

“And then, what? She creates you just so she doesn’t have to deal with the fact she’s a liar?”

“Oh. You, uh,” he scratches at the back of his neck, “you don’t need to apologize for that. We were all pretty stressed, I get it.”

“No. I do!” she insists, her expression stretching wide. “What I said, it wasn’t just mean, it was wrong. Like, I still feel like I don’t know anything about Rose, or Pink, or whatever anymore, okay? But just because I don’t get anything doesn’t make you— gah, forget it,” she says hurriedly, waving the thought away. “The point is, I’m sorry, y’know? For real.”

The earnesty of her apology covers his wounds like a salve. Blinking heavily, he throws his arms around her, burying his face into her hair.

“Apology heartily accepted,” he says, muffled.

The stiffness in her form eases up, and she finally, truly allows herself to hug him back.

“Thanks, dude.”

From that point forward, the atmosphere of the house grows lighter. No longer needing to worry about the state of his relationship with Amethyst, Steven throws himself into the nuttiness and excitement of family time feet first. The two of them horse around while Dad and Pearl continue making breakfast, wrestling each other in front of the warp pad. It doesn’t take long for a stack of waffles to pile up on the counter, cooked to a golden brown perfection. Catching his breath from all the play fighting, he eagerly rushes to sit himself at the counter next to the purple Gem, empty plate and utensils already set in front of them. His legs freely dangle, not long enough yet to reach the foot rest midway down the stool. He’s not paying attention to hear it, but his dad must have said something witty because Pearl is chuckling breathlessly. It’s probably one of his corny dad jokes. Pearl will never admit it, but she has a secret sweet spot for his puns.

The temple door slides open— a rush of slightly stale air wafting in to greet them— as Dad removes the last waffles from the iron. Beaming, his attention immediately peels away from the promise of food in favor of the entrance of one of his favorite people.

“Garnet!” he calls, throwing his arms wide.

“Good morning, Steven,” she says with a slight sing-song lilt in her voice, crossing the room towards the rest of the family. With a slight smile, she places her hands solid on his shoulders. “I presume you figured out how to fuse back together with your other half.”

“Yup! All together,” he grins, titling his neck back to peer up at her.

“Except his gem flipped, and now it’s all funky,” Amethyst interjects in a flash, playfully jabbing him right at his navel.

Garnet’s comforting grip slackens, her hands slipping free.

“Hey!” he giggles, smacking Amethyst’s arm away. “No tickling!”

“It’s not tickling, it’s revenge!” she says with a loud raspy chortle, and puts him in a headlock, scruffing at his hair until it’s a frizzy mess. He kicks his legs in futile protest as she mounts her attack, laughing until the pressure in his lungs is too much to handle and tears prickle at the corner of his eyes. It’s the most he’s laughed since… well, since before he was cracked.

The others, however, aren’t smiling. They don’t seem to be paying any attention to their antics at all. Pearl’s hand is balled at her chin, her soft blue eyes pinned on the Crystal Gem leader. Even his dad’s peering at her with concern, the spatula dangling off one finger.

“Garnet?” his dad asks, his frown deepening the faint wrinkles around his eyes.

“Are you all right?” Pearl chimes in.

“I…” She clenches her fists, averting her glance. “I don’t understand. Your gem—“

Amethyst scoffs. “—is all diamond shaped now, and it’s totally weird. Steven, show her!”

He gives a slight scowl, subtle enough that the others wouldn’t pick up on it right away. It would be nice if she wasn’t being so pushy about this, if he could find the right moment to tell Garnet himself. But with everyone here watching in anticipation, there’s really nothing else he can do.

Sighing heavily, he lifts his shirt, exposing his gem. “After I fused with my gem half, it was just like this. I still don’t get why.”

Her visor may cover her eyes, but he knows the spectrum of her expressions well enough that he doesn’t need to see them to know all three pupils have shrunk into pinpricks. Her mouth widens into a circle, crystallizing in her shock.

“Oh,” she breathes heavily, grinding her teeth against each other hard. “I- I never foresaw this possibility.”

Sweat beads at his brow. Even though she’s trying to mask it (probably for his sake), he can tell she’s struggling to keep from falling apart. Her hands are visibly quivering, and the gems inlaid in her palms pulse with light. He swallows hard, lump hanging in his throat. “Heh, what can I say?” he shrugs with a nervous laugh. “Guess I’m just really unpredictable!”

“Perhaps,” she says quietly, thankfully managing to pull herself together again. She flexes her fists, their tremor receding. Crossing her arms, she moves to lean against the wall by the fridge.

The household falls so quiet that Steven can hear his own stomach gurgle, everyone staring at the fusion in wordless worry.

His dad coughs. “Well, anyways,” he says, spinning the spatula in a circle. “Who else wants waffles?”

“Lay ‘em on me,” Amethyst says, holding out her plate. He serves her two to start. She shoots him a pair of finger guns, and digs in.

“Okay. I’m assuming none for Pearl?”

“That would be correct, thanks.”

He promptly turns towards the Crystal Gem leader, a weak grin stretching across his face despite the soured atmosphere.

“What about you, Garnet?” Wanna try the ol’ Universe family recipe?”

She shakes her head in singular motion. “No.”

The churning in Steven’s stomach fades into obscurity in light of the bitter prospect of his guardian’s emotional instability. So much for daring to hope that they could all make amends where needed, refrain from obsessing over their problems, and move on. He slumps on his stool. Dad deposits a pair of golden, buttery waffles on his plate, artfully garnishing the stack with a dollop of whipped cream and a cluster of raspberries from the bowl of them that Pearl washed earlier, but the idea of together breakfast no longer sounds very appetizing anymore. After all, it’s not the food that makes a together breakfast, it’s the company. And with Pearl and Dad standing nervously to the side, Garnet struggling to remain stable, and even Amethyst sapped of her usual spunk in the light of their demons, this is about as far from together a family can get. What did he do wrong? Why isn’t this the sunny future Garnet showed him last night?

Leaning his cheek into the palm of his hand, he aimlessly picks at his breakfast with his fork.

Amethyst glances over at him, already neck deep into her own meal. “Eat up little man, they’re super good!” she declares.

His mouth turns up into a small grimace the longer he stares at the food. It looks wonderful, but...

“Actually, I’m not all that hungry anymore.”

“Steven, you need to eat,” his dad says.

“I just said, I’m not hungry.”

Dad’s brow furrows as he leverages one of his rare father knows best faces at him. Steven looks to Pearl for rescue, but she (perhaps wisely) averts her eyes, choosing not to interject herself into Greg’s parenting.

Amethyst, however, is more than willing to take up the charge. “If you don’t eat up in two minutes, I’m claiming them,” she threatens, deadpan. “I’ll lick them, nice and slow, with lots of slobber, and then they’ll be mine.”

“Okay, okay!” he says, holding his hands up defensively. “Geeze.”

He blows a weary burst of air past his lips, grabs his fork, and begins digging in to appease his dad. The first bites settle like stones in the pit of his empty stomach. He has to admit, even if his appetite is zilch, at least they’re good tasting waffles. All his guardians visibly relax upon seeing him start to eat breakfast. Amethyst’s tensed shoulders drop. Pearl allows herself to lean back against the counter. Garnet uncrosses her arms. Out of the corner of his eyes, he catches a glimpse of the fusion picking up the can of whipped cream and squirting some directly into her mouth when she thought the other two Gems weren’t looking. The corner of his mouth perks up. Looks like someone has a secret sweet tooth!

He’s halfway through the second of the pair of waffles when the short quartz sitting next to him grins devilishly.

“Hey, Steven…”

“Hnn?” he utters, muffled through the food in his mouth.

She flicks a raspberry at him. “Catch this hide!”

He yelps, just barely ducking in time to miss the fruit. It falls apart upon impact on the floor, its juices exploding outward across the wood.

“Touchdown,” she says, and blows off her finger as if it were a pistol.

The edge of his lips curve up, chipping away at his melancholy. “Oh, I see what you’re steppin’ in!”

Pearl groans, throwing her hand against her temple. “Must you two really—“

“Let them have this,” Garnet says coolly as she leans back against the fridge, the whipped cream can still dangling at the edge of her grasp.

“But we just cleaned this place!”

Amethyst chucks another cluster of berries at him, but this time he’s expecting her fruity projectiles. He cranes his neck back, letting his mouth fall open wide. One of the raspberries bounces off his chin. Close, but not quite. If he’s quick enough, maybe he can catch one in his mouth. That’d be pretty awesome! Thankfully she seems to catch on to his ploy, because she starts to toss them underhand. He stifles giggles as he successfully snaps one— no, two— berries right out of the air.

“There’s some days I feel like we’re raising two children,” he hears Pearl comment to his dad offhand, as they watch them fool around with their food from the sidelines.

“And there’s some days I feel like I’m raising four,” he mutters under his breath.

“What?”

He coughs into his fist. “Uh, nothing!”

She raises a vaguely disgruntled brow at him, but doesn’t say anything more on the matter.

He and his quartz sibling gleefully continue messing around with their edible projectiles until they grow bored of it, soon returning to eating their food like (mostly normal) beings. Really, he can only speak for himself, since she’s recently taken to eating the paper plates along with her breakfast. He grins through a mouthful of whipped cream. This is one of the many things he loves and admires about her, that she always knows how to cheer him up when he needs it. Before their little food fight, the soured atmosphere of his household left him almost feeling sick, but he already feels a lot better now. Needless to say, with his restored appetite the last waffle doesn’t take long to disappear.

“Next time you really gotta try one!” he enthuses to Garnet as he discards his paper plate, weaving between Pearl and his father as they begin to clean the kitchen. “Dad’s waffles are batter than anything!”

He contorts his features into the most exaggerated expression he can muster, waiting with baited breath for the shoe to drop. On the other side of the counter, Amethyst snorts.

Her nostrils twitch with an uncertain air, the straight edge of her visor casting a deep shadow on her face. She stands with her arms wrapped tight around her torso, like a tourniquet wrapped around a bleeding wound. “Hmm. Perhaps one day.”

And in the space of those three simple words, his little heart breaks into pieces. She almost always chuckles at his corny puns, always! So for her to barely even acknowledge them, for her to bottle away all her usual joy and confidence and quiet wit and hide it under a rock solid mask of falsified indifference, it stings more than anything. He thought she’d grown past this.

“Garnet, what’s wrong?” he asks, voice cracking in his anguish. The others all look up from whatever they’re doing with obvious curiosity, all of them silently asking the same question but none of them having the courage to approach their leader directly. “You’ve been like this all morning, ever since—“

With a shallow gasp, his eyes grow glassy. Her mood drastically changed the moment she saw his flipped gem. He clamps his hands over his mouth.

Oh, shards.

He did this.

Both Pearl and Dad move on automatic at the sight of emotional distress, the Gem solidly clasping his shoulder, and his father wrapping his arms around him. Across the room, Amethyst bites at her bottom lip, expression alight with genuine compassion.  

“Steven.” Garnet kneels to address him face-to-face, sighing heavily in her exhaustion, worrisome as that is. He quickly blinks through the burn of unshed tears, glancing up at her. “The truth is, I— we have something we need to share. With all of you.”

The room fills with uncomfortable tension, the shock of her admission and its concerningly specific wording sinking in like maple syrup soaking through a waffle’s airy layers.

He rubs at the corner of one of his eyes. “W- we? I don’t—“

Pearl steps towards her, shaking her head in a daze. “Garnet, no, surely you can’t mean that…”

“Ruby and Sapphire have decided they want to take some time apart. Indefinitely.”

His mouth falls ajar, but there’s nothing he can think of to say. Steven’s chest rumbles, shaken with cries anchored too deep in his soul for him to actually express. In a heartbeat his dad pulls him closer.

“But… why?” Amethyst asks, face painted in shades of faint betrayal.

She adjusts her visor. “Because in the wake of recent revelations, we’ve realized that we only remained Garnet because of her.”

“Garnet, you—“ Pearl stammers— “now you know that’s not true! You saved each other’s lives, you fell in love with each other, you—“

“We stayed fused because a diamond took us by the hands and ordered us not to question who we were as Garnet,” she corrected. “Ruby and Sapphire, they never truly got the luxury to seek self fulfillment as individuals, not like you or Amethyst did. We… we both need time to reflect on what’s happened.”

Slowly swaying in his dad’s embrace, hugging those sturdy, dependable arms to his chest, Steven quietly speaks up.

“If both of you have been hurting ever since last night, then why didn’t you unfuse already? Why push through it just to come to breakfast?”

The fusion pauses, probably considering her phrasing. She briefly balls her hand at her chin, fingers pressing against one of her gems, and then taking a breath, allows her visor to shimmer away entirely. Her eyes glisten as she imparts her honest answer.

“If I unfused earlier, I wouldn’t have gotten to hug you goodbye.”

He can’t stifle his sobs any longer. Breaking away from his dad, he throws himself at Garnet and— pressing his cheek against her chest— gives a keening cry, the mounting pressure abruptly releasing from his chest but manifesting across his features as dry as a bone. He’s cried too many tears in such a short span of time that he almost wonders if he’s finally hit the bottom of the well. His fingers grip at her familiar form as if he can single-handedly keep her here together with him forever. He dry sobs in her arms until he aches, vying to burn the comforting sensation of his guardian’s solid hold, the assurance of the even thrum running through her hard light body, into his memory forever more.

The other two Gems join in the embrace, kneeling on the floor with him and wrapping themselves around him like a blanket.

“You- but you can’t just leave us,” Amethyst whispers brokenly. “Not now!”

Her voice hitches. She sighs, pressing her forehead against the smaller Gem’s. “I know this is gonna hurt you, I know. And we’re sorry. We’re so, so sorry. But we need time to reflect, to understand who we are apart from Garnet."

“Yeah, but…”

“Listen to me,” she says gently, pulling back and lifting her chin. “You are enough. An inimitable cut of quartz, just as you are. Please. Even in your darkest moments, never let yourself forget the depth of your worth.”

She nods, her lip quivering.

“And Pearl.”

The ebony Gem peels away from the hug at her beckoning to catch a glimpse at her, her pale blue irises glinting through the liquid pooling over them.

“In my absence, I need you to be strong. Not only for yourself, but for all of us. The Crystal Gems will do well under your leadership.”

She hums in confirmation, taking her new mission to heart. “Of course,” she says, straightening her back and sniffing away her tears.

Garnet turns her saddened gaze to him next, passing her fingers through his tangled mop of hair. “Steven.”

“Y-yeah?”

“None of this is your fault.”

“B-b-but—” he blubbers.

“None of it. The past is not your burden. And any time you begin to fear it is, I want you to pause… take a deep breath… and remember how much we all love you. You are your own Gem."

He bobs his head slowly, sniffling as his breath evens out.

The fusion sits back on her heels, ending their long embrace.

“Greg,” she says as she stands, leveling her three eyes directly at him. Though Steven has no clue what, some silent conversation passes between the two of them— like charge passing through circuitry— in a series of subtle, indecipherable expressions. “Take care of my family.”

“Yes, ma’am,” he replies evenly, wiping a stray tear away from his own cheek.

Closing her eyes, Garnet begins to glow white, the gems at the core of her being shifting and separating into two smaller light bodies. They’re still holding hands at the moment the glow fades. Sapphire is the first to let go, letting her gloved fingers fall loose against the skirt of her dress.

Ruby’s face is a blank stone wall, one that’s been visibly chipped away at. Her eyes clearly glisten, as if she’s about to fall apart at any moment yet is stubbornly holding this outburst of emotion back until she can escape to a place of privacy. Sapphire, on the other hand, makes no attempt to mask her distress. As always the fringe of her hair covers half of her face, but the tracks of her tears flow down her cheek and to her chin, threatening to drip onto her bodice.

Despite the unfortunate nature of their appearance, Steven can’t deny he’s still glad to get a chance to see them.

“Um… h-hi, Ruby, Sapphire,” he stutters with his best attempt at a smile. “Long time no see?”

“Hello, Steven,” the blue Gem responds in amicable but still relatively formless monotone, as she clasps her gemless hand over the other. She sniffs, wiping the stray lines of hard light based fluid away from her eye and nose before allowing her expression to crystallize again. Gathering herself, she turns to face the group. “If all of you will excuse me, I need some time to think. Alone, for once.”

With not another word— not even an attempt at greeting the others, or consoling Ruby, who looks ready to cry at a moment’s notice— Sapphire turns on a dime and effortlessly glides across the warp pad to the temple door. She holds her right palm to the crystals embedded in the stonework, the blue one glowing bright in response. The seldom used entrance unlocks with a sonorous click. They all watch in stunned silence as she disappears through the opening, into the vast depths of the Crystal Temple.

The group stands ramrod straight, no one budging an inch as they stare vacantly at the doorway. Ruby folds her hands tight together, pressing them to her chest.

Pearl, thankfully, is the first to break the spell. (He’s thankful because he isn’t sure if anyone else here could’ve gathered the courage in the light of everything that just happened, himself included.)

“Oh Ruby, I’m so sorry,” she whispers, balling her hand against her mouth.

“D’ya wanna go punch some stuff in the Kindergarten with me?” Amethyst offers softly, slinging her arm around the shorter Gem.

Steven weakly raises a finger in suggestion. “Or we could play some games here. I finally found that limited release console version of Fight Fighters a few days back, if that’s up your alley.”

“And I could always take you for a quiet drive up the coast,” Greg says.

She shakes her head, shrugging away from Amethyst's attempt at comfort. “I- I don’t really wanna talk to any of you right now, to be honest. S’ not your fault, but—“

Ruby pauses, her small form nearly shaking as she averts her gaze from them all, staring into the middle distance with glassy eyes.

“I think… for now, I jus- I just need to run away,” she croaks. “Sorry."

Not even bothering to hold back her sobs anymore, she barrels across the room in a flurry of anguish and climbs the steps to the warp pad. Everything happens so fast that no one can react quick enough to stop her before she activates it, a burst of cyan light springing forth to whisk her away into the stream. In seconds, she’s gone.

Steven shuffles his feet, feeling for all the world as if some antagonistic force of the universe just stole a decent chunk of his heart away.

“Well, now what?” Amethyst says with a big shrug.

Pearl crosses her arms, her lips curving into a subtle sneer at the glibness of her attitude. “What do you mean, ‘now what?’ We’re going to go round them up, sit them both down, have a calm, rational discussion, and fix this!”

“But you can’t just— ughhh,” she groans, throwing her head back. “They’re not inanimate objects for you to sort into piles, P! You can’t expect to throw them together and like, make them fuse again! That’s not how it works!”

“Now, that’s not what I meant, I—“

“Bull! It’s exactly what you meant!”

She haughtily turns up her nose, aghast. “I don’t appreciate the accusatory tone you’ve taken with me!”

“And there you go, gettin’ all defensive,” she says, throwing her arms up. Her form glows white as she effortlessly shapeshifts into a picture perfect purple doppleganger of her. “Blah, blah, blah blah blah,” she spits in the most exaggerated voice she can muster, twirling the bottom ribbon of her sash on her finger. “I’m Pearl, and I know better than everyone else ‘coz I’m always right!”

“Amethyst! That’s enough!”

He pales as he watches the two of them outright self destruct. In many ways, it’s a disappointing step back. He hasn’t seen them spat this badly for almost a year. His feet shuffle awkwardly beneath him, bare toes twitching as his mind yearns for some brilliant idea that could stop this fight in its tracks, but at the current moment he’s got nothing.

“Daaaad,” he whispers lowly, obscuring his mouth from their view with a cupped hand. “Help me out here?”

His father grits his teeth, nervously stepping forward between him and the two Gems at each other’s throats. “H-hey, you two, how about we all take a deep breath a—“

“Shut up, Greg!” they shout in unison, whirling on him.

He throws his palms up, immediately backing away from their vitriolic spat. Steven grabs onto his arm once he’s returned to him, hugging it close to his chest, which is growing tighter and tighter by the second. He absolutely hates seeing his family fight, more than anything, but when they refuse to listen to reason, what can he do about it?

“As I was trying to say, you’re completely taking my words out of context,” Pearl hisses, advancing on her.

“No, I’m not!” she hollers, her voice echoing into the rafters of the compact beach house. She jabs her finger under the other Gem’s nose, the action violent enough in its intensity that Steven can’t help but flinch at the sight. “You still wanna think you can wave your little hand and have everything go back to the way it was, poof, like magic! But guess what?! You can’t!! Garnet’s gone, we have no real leader, Ruby disappeared to shard knows where, you can barely explain a single thing without locking up, basically everything we ever knew about Rose was a complete lie, a-and, and—“

“And now it’s Steven’s turn to leave,” he declares abruptly, the tension held in thick knots within him easing at his bold decision.

This is apparently enough to snap Pearl out of her emotional tizzy, his guardian whirling to face him with an embarrassed flush blooming blue across her cheeks. “Oh, Steven, I—“

Spinning on his heels, he scrambles away from the others as fast as he can, heart racing, only pausing to retrieve his phone from where it’s been charging and to slip on sandals. “I’m sorry, can’t talk, I’m headedtotown, needsomefreshair, bye!”

He lets it slam behind him as he races out into the arms of Beach City’s breezy, overcast morning. His flip flops clap rhythmically against his heels.

“Wait! Steven!” his dad calls after him, but it’s already too late. He’s not going back in, he refuses. Not now, not with everyone being so sullen and argumentative and weird.

He thought they could move on, he thought all this repressed pain and feelings of betrayal could heal and they could all grow closer for it, but apparently he’s wrong. Nothing about this messed up situation is ever going to get better, is it? He doubles over as he passes the mailbox, his sprint slowing to an abrupt halt. His teeth clench, his fingers digging into the fabric of his jeans like rose barbs through delicate skin as he catches his breath. Steven digs into his pocket for his phone.

“Hoh geeze,” he mutters, holding down the power button to force restart. “This is such a mess.”

At least he was wise enough to grab his phone in the first place. Blessedly, the screen finally lights up.

And as feared, he’s met with a hefty cluster of missed notifications from Connie. Sweat beads on his brow as he begins to scroll through them, even though he knew darn well this was coming.

Connie: Um?? How was any of that supposed to not make me worry?

Connie: Are you okay?

Connie: Steven? ???

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 7:02 am.

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 7:04 am.

Connie: Pls call me when you can

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 7:51 am.

Missed call- Connie Maheswaran, 8:47 am.

Connie: Seriously I’m kinda freaking out rn what’s going on over there, I’d come over as backup if I could but I’m packing for the India trip and mom won’t let me leave

He purses his lips, silently smacking himself for sending that stupid, stupid text early this morning in the first place. “Yeah, I should probably clear this up,” he mumbles.

Steven swipes to unlock his phone, navigates to Connie’s contact, and presses the video chat button. Forget calls. This is definitely a scenario in need of face-to-face communication. If they can’t be in the same place at the same time, a video chat is the second best thing.

He plops himself down in the sand, and patiently waits through the first and second dial.

____

Notes:

Woo, this was a fun one (see: heart wrenching) to write. I enjoyed tackling a wide variety of family interactions here.

Some random notes for this chapter:

-HC: while Pearl hates eating, she's actually a fairly good cook. She's the one who makes sure Steven's getting some good ol' healthy food in him.

-Uhh, that game Steven was gonna play before he realized his phone was Dead with a capital D, 'Splashy Shark,' is just this universe's version of Flappy Bird, honestly. Don't ask why, haha, I thought it'd be amusing. XD

-I HC that non-diamond type Gems wouldn't be able to flip their gemstone like Pink/Rose/Steven can. It's something that requires a whole lot of power to carry out. Thus why even Amethyst, the shapeshifting master, can't manage it. As an added point, Rose was able to shift the color of her skin to a far lighter shade and completely change her eyes, whereas other Gems tend to retain their color scheme when they shapeshift. Rose definitely had an extra strong shapeshifting ability in the first place.

-After chapter five, the insinuation is that Garnet went into the temple, unfused, and Ruby and Sapphire had their little falling out there. They only fused again to come out for breakfast because they realized Garnet never got a chance to hug Steven goodbye for now- and they weren't sure when (if ever) they'd be fusing again. Whether this softened the blow or made it worse for the kid is up for debate.

-That being said, I want to clarify that this definitely isn't the end of Ruby and Sapphire's relationship. I'll tag more thoroughly once I start diving into specifics, but their arcs will be about self discovery, both about who they are as individuals and in relation to each other.

-I did not expect to end up writing a Pearl and Amethyst spat in this chapter when I first planned it, but I'm certainly not complaining. It just sorta... organically happened. XD

-The title of this fic actually has a double meaning... the word 'paragon' can refer to both a diamond, or something that is an example of perfection. The divergence in this world led to Steven's gem being cracked, but it also essentially shattered the perfect little family dynamic that he'd had for so long at this point.

[foreverautumn89]

I can't say I've ever been into Steddie. I just saw no evidence or point to it. I didn't mind other ppl shipping it at first but now its everywhere and them hating on our ship/hating on Jonathan got me fuming at them too. Like constantly putting stuff in our tag thats got nothing to do with Jonathan/or its anti Jonathan and especially how they come onto our stories/videos ext and say ship Steddie its better because no Jonathan ext ext stuff like that-no I'm done with them. I don't even deal with them anymore. I just block. All the Jonathan hate coming from them is beyond ridiculous. Thats another post I was going to make but again I don't got the time or anything....

Do not even get me started on all the very real reasons I have to bash Steve right now. Don't get me started cause I won't stop. One day, I'll make that post but it wont be here and now. There is just too much to say about all the horrible stuff he did and how people just forgive it. And don't get me started on Jonathan hate either-them flipping out over him saying a JOKE about Steve just showed how mentally unstable they really are. So Steve abuses Jonathan for years and does the most awful things to him and Nancy and is automatically forgiven, but Jonathan makes a JOKE about his leadership capabilities which wasn't intended to be taken seriously and they flip! There was so much of an overreaction to that that it shows you just how mentally unstable they really are. Yeah how dare his abuse victim question his capabilities as a leader? What a fucking vile repulsive monster Jonathan is.... There is no point even trying to have a conversation with them anymore because you can't rationalize with a crazy person.

I agree with the reasons you listed, but no-that doesn't even BEGIN to cover all the horrible stuff Steve did. It doesn't begin to cover it at all. Again, I just don't have the time to spell out for everyone why Steve was in the wrong and they'll just justify it anyway like they always do. This fandom is seriously all about the victim blaming and whoever is prettier-that's the person who is in the right. It's just ridiculous.

Yes thats what is pissing me off to no end that Steve gets a free pass on literally EVERYTHING. But Jonathan does one thing wrong and hes the devil incarnate and despite that Jonathan has been living his whole life to make everyone else happy you think they'd find some love for Jonathan, but nope cause those pictures in season 1 overshadow absolutely all the good he has done. But Steve non stop hurts people all for the fun of it and hes justified cause hes pretty has got big muscles and cool hair. Seriously? That is the saddest thing I've ever seen.

The way this fandom talks about Nancy and Jonathan and victim blames non stop while excusing absolutely everything Steve does even to the point that they are so delusional to say that Steve was just misunderstood in S1 really shows you the lack of intelligence and sanity among the fans. I mean they got SO SO friggin riled up over a joke that Jonathan told that was a throwaway line meanwhile justifying all the terrible things Steve has done to Jonathan over the years.....but sure yeah Steve is perfect and can do no wrong-even when hes in the wrong hes in the right clearly-and Jonathan is a monster that is worse than Vecna himself. Again...a fascinating bundle of crazy right there.

I told you...I was warned to stay away from this fandom and I didn't listen to that warning and now here we are....

fighting the urge everyday to give Seaaon One Steve the same treatment people give Season One Jonathan

“funny how the fandom went past Jonathan taking pictures..” or “am i the only one that remembers the pictures” turns into

“funny how the fandom went past Steve trying to make his gf get nasty when she didn’t want to, participated/bystanded very public slutshaming, called Jon a slur, said it’s not a shock what happened to his dead/missing brother, compared him to his abusive brother, and called his whole family a disgrace..” and “am i the only one that remembers the hanky panky force, slut shaming, slur saying, comparing someone to their abusive father, it’s not a shock what happened to their missing/dead brother, and called their family a disgrace”

like nothing against steve, he changed and whatnot, but if 80% of the fandom is gonna keep saying this shit about Jonathan, i will start doing it to Steve, because his pretty privilege got him a pass from the fucked up shit

[dustydreamsanddirtyscars]

i follow a lot of meta writers who say dean's story doesn't make sense without destiel. for example, amara was about exposing how dean felt about cas; the heart stuff how she found dean by touching cas' heart follow your heart all that. i ship destiel but don't think it will be endgame (wish it would be honestly). can i ask what do you think dean's story is without a destiel exposition? Do the amara and MoC and Mary story lines make sense without it? What is Dean's personal story and endgame?

Dear anon,

first and foremost what I want to emphasize going into this reply is that people can take away whatever they want from the show and read it in a way that suits their viewing of what happens on screen. All of what we see in those 45 minutes of television is influenced and shaped by our own experiences and interests, by the things that speak to us and move us or the aspects and topics we deem important. For that very reason readings and views will always differ simply because we all have our own focus. Things that stand out to one person, aren’t important for another for the sole reason that we tend to latch onto and project what moves us most into the narrative and analyze what plays out in the episode accordingly. What I mean is: it’s natural to disagree, there isn’t such a thing as ONE and ONLY ONE RIGHT reading. And there is nothing shameful or wrong about disagreeing with someone else, it’s all about how one expresses those differences of opinion. No one is better or worse or stupid for not seeing what someone else may see that doesn’t fit to your personal impression and perception of the show. In short: Live and let live.

The reason I am prefacing my reply with this long, more general ramble is due to the fact that I feel the fighting within the fandom over “right ways of reading and watching the show” or “people being too stupid to realize the show is saying this and this and not that and that” has gotten to a ridiculous and toxic point in which tolerance is lacking all around and on all sides and is seriously tiring to me, because it is just mind baffling to me why people can’t just be happy with what they read and see in the show and share it with the ones who see it similarly, but have to force their views on everybody else and get nasty over people having another view and takeaway than them and throwing around insults like there is no tomorrow.

With that all out of the way, let me tell you my view on Dean’s story. And just to make that clear from the get go :) no, I don’t think Dean’s story only makes sense when taking Deancas into account. It’s alright for me, if people argue that and feel that way, but to me it’s simply not the case and also imo takes away from Dean as a character in his own right.

I enjoy(ed) Deancas and like interactions between Dean and Castiel (though tbh since S11 to me a lot has changed and I no longer feel passionate or strongly about them, because to me the writers and how they handle the relationship atm is just too hollow and soulless for my taste, it simply no longer has the depth and “spark” for lack of a better word that it used to have in seasons prior, which still speak to me and move me when it comes to these two characters), but I do truly take issues with people arguing that Dean or his story only makes sense in relation to Castiel. I have the same issues with people arguing that Dean’s story and Dean only makes sense in relation to Sam. Of course both people are relevant to Dean’s story, but to me another person/characters should never be the most important thing about another character. So yeah, both of these viewings are the same to me in their essence, because in both cases it discredits Dean as a character in his own right in measures and ways I personally find very sad, because it belittles Dean. And Dean is much more than the people he loves (and this actually one aspect that is actually part of the show for Dean to realize) and that is kind of one of the main things that I personally feel relevant for Dean’s arc and possible endgame: seeing himself as worthy and important unrelated to any other person/character.

[[This week’s episode imo has highlighted a great deal how I personally see Dean’s story spanning from the first season onwards and what his struggles were and are that need to be overcome for him to be happy (if you browse my 13x03gif tag you’ll find all the meta I already wrote on the topic).]]

It may be for the very reason that Dean always puts others first and worries about them that people tend to see Dean only as an extension to another character. To me personally therefore one of the main things that has been explored heavily all throughout Carver Era and with that the Moc and Amara arc is addressing how “unfree” Dean has been all his life and how he has never truly listened or maybe even truly found out what he himself wants and is without the people he “cares for” (that is btw one huge point that was made in this week’s episode when Kelly told Jack that he didn’t have to be like his mother or father, but just himself and how this drastically differs to Dean who has been both unwanted - see meta and gifs for that here), because that very aspect - Dean thinking he needs to be this or that (mother, father and brother from age 4 onwards - as he himself openly now emphasized wasn’t fair) - has become Dean’s entire “reason for existence”. He thinks of himself as only useful when he can be of service and that is one tragic and horrible way not only of thinking about yourself (as unworthy, etc.), but also to live, because as the show has highlighted again and again when Dean feels like he cannot be of help, he thinks he lacks a reason to live and slips even further into a depression that is always glowering there just underneath the surface.

Due to all of what I mentioned just yet, I personally find it highly unfortunate that some people tend to make Dean all about Sam or Cas, because it falls completely in the trap that causes Dean so many issues since he himself only views himself as an extension to someone else, but that by no means means that that is right - quite the opposite. And that is also one of the many issues I have with Dabb’s showrunning and S12 in particular as in seasons prior the narrative addressed the discrepancy of Dean feeling like he matters least, etc. but that the characters around him constantly showed that that is not the case, but only something happening inside Dean’s head. Now S12 blatantly made it text that Dean does indeed not matter himself and I will never not be absolutely disgusted about that, because throughout the entire season we saw Dean put down, his emotions ignored, lied to (really, the way the season started, Mary trampling all over her son, is so emblematic of what happened throughout the entire season as well) and none of the treatment he experienced got corrected in the end, but Dabb friggin decided that it is a stellar idea to have Dean only briefly express how his mother’s death shaped him and messed him up (and yes, I get that it is in line with who Dean is and how he thinks so little of himself and putsothers traumas and needs first while ignoring his own, because they seem less important - see how that narrative thread runs through the whole show?) but that ultimately Dean as a person once more would disappear by making it all about Sam and talking about how Sam suffered (never mind Dean did and does too) and it also only then that his friggin mother is showing any kind of interest in her son. Only when her one son talks about the other son. Yeah, nice work there. But really, what took the cake for me with all that was how Mary didn’t even wrap Dean into a hug when he fucking saved her, but she opts to fall into Sam’s arms. Sorry, but gahhhh, I’ll never not be epicly pissed off about this.

Considering all this I am not surprised when people tend to think Dean has no story of his own or that it doesn’t make sense without Deancas or Sam on the other hand, but to me as someone who is most interested in each character in their own right much more than in any possible pairing, it is frustrating, because you feel like you are an island and belong nowhere. But sorry, I got caught up in my disliking of S12, I’m trying to get back on track now.

So given all that and the whole aspect of Dean’s “lack of freedom” due to feelings of responsibility are a huge aspect that to me was integral in the entirety of the MoC arc and the Amara arc as to me it explored Dean’s feelings of inadequacy and showing and exploring how Dean may have always been the main symbol for “free will”, but rarely has had it himself. In that regard, and I know this may be an utterly unpopular opinion to many, I have always analyzed Dean’s MoC arc and his time as a demon as a sort of “rite of passage” that served as a setting stone for Dean’s liberation, because it was as a demon that for the first time Dean only did what he himself wanted. It’s of course just one small aspect of a much more complex overall storyline, but to me it is an integral part nonetheless. Dean wasn’t happy as a demon by a long shot, but he did only what he wanted without feeling bad about having wishes of his own.

During the MoC and Amara arc Dean’s lack of independency from the people closest to him was amplified by making Dean unable to control what happened within himself when he held the blade or was in Amara’s closer vicinity. He was other directed, a puppet that got its strings pulled and that thread has been an integral one for Dean since we saw him strung up in Hell and torn apart (literally) by ropes tearing him apart every which way. To me there couldn’t be a more fitting and sadder visual for how Dean spent his entire life: caught in the middle, trying to keep a family together that drifted apart and getting torn apart and ending up hurt and damaged by trying to keep all of it together.

So in a way Dean losing his agency to the mark and then later Amara was just the utter extreme of showing how Dean for most of his life has not lived and done what he himself wanted, but what others needed him to do. The theme is right there, right from the beginning of the show and culminates for the first time in S4 and S5 when Dean rejects to become and be what Heaven wants him to be. The same strength he showed in relation to Michael, he never was able to show when it came to things his father demanded of him for example. There is a a famous scene where Dean articulates that himself in “Sacrecrow” in S1

and it comes back up here and there across the seasons when Dean expresses that he wished he would have stood up against their father more, etc. - the entire episode 9x06 “Bad Boys” also shines a huge light on that whole topic as we get a glimpse of the Dean there, who was allowed to be just a teen without feeling burdened and responsible to join his father’s fight.

For me Dean’s entire arc spanning over the course of the show is a storyline about self discovery about coming of age and coming into his own (an no with that I don’t mean a “coming out”-story, though of course it could be worked in or rather go hand in hand with that, but Dean’s sexual liberation to me has never been an integral topic from the beginning of the show and explored deeply until now, whereas the other has - again everyone is open to disagree with me, I have no problems with anyone reading it different, but this is just my personal feeling on the matter). It’s a narrative focusing on identity for someone who has never truly had the chance to become who he would have been if he had never had to be what others needed him to be. Phew… that was a weird sentence, lol. Anybody else got a knot in their brain now? ;)

And last but not least (though frankly I could write like 10 times as much as I already did since this is such a complex question) since you bring up the heart symbolism. I don’t mean to piss anyone off, but the heart symbolism as such has been surrounding Dean long before Castiel even came into the show (and it’s one of my favorite topics aside from “Dean as a christ figure” and I’ve written countless meta on that topic - I’m gonna leave a bunch of links to metas behind the cut at the end of this meta, for anyone who is interested in talk about heart symbolism, liberation, Amara and MoC arc etc. - some may even feature Deancas, but 95%  are just about Dean - it is by no means all I have written on the topic, but a good start), so to me - while I have no problem with people connect the heart symbolism in recents seasons to Castiel and Dean - they aren’t connected to another character at all, but are solely a symbol and metaphor for Dean as a character, because Dean’s heart has always been his biggest asset, but also what makes him so vulnerable. Dean is the “heart” of the show, as he serves as the PoV character. But most of all the heart symbolism surrounding Dean to me also belongs to the whole identity thread. It is also after all that Dean’s metaphorical death and re-emergence as a demon as a stepping stone to his liberation and coming of age (the healing part is still hopefully to come) is brought on by him dying by being stabbed through the heart…

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/121901277911/this-is-easier-some-more-thoughts-on-the

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/69379178845/dean-winchesters-heart-is-a-puzzle

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/131476588721/11x02-form-and-void-shes-a-miracle

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/98552189146/this-is-a-story-a-marvelous-story-full-of-love

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/87629591461/go-right-ahead-put-a-blade-through-your

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/67585667715/of-werevolves-tin-men-dean-winchester-and-his

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/110615479616/dustydreamsanddirtyscarsdeans-physical-and

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/66175602035/things-about-9x05-dog-dean-afternoon-3

http://dustydreamsanddirtyscars.tumblr.com/post/127498203661/the-original-serpent-3

[oldlionsarch]

plus like, tumblr is trash at blocking ppl. we've blocked and blacklisted him but when ppl reblog his stuff it shows up on our dashes because tumblr only prevents his stuff from showing up in the tags, not from showing up on our dashboards in reblogs from ppl we follow. you could argue that we should just unfollow EVERYONE who reblogs him, but we don't want to punish ppl who weren't aware of the issue so we put the info out there.

and yeah, everything dwyn said because we're extra intolerant of friggin pedo material.

know the difference between harassment and curation. no one's going into his inbox with death threats and nasty anons (to my knowledge). but we have a right to post on our own blogs in a tag we care about when harmful stuff gets involved. same as ppl post warnings when assholes post gore in the tags. it's not harassment, it's just keeping ppl aware.

if 47 doesn't wanna see it, he can curate his experience and stay out of the tags, similarly to what you've suggested, how about that. no one's bringing this directly to him except his own friends telling him we're still upset in the gw2 community.

this might not even be a vague at me but it cropped up right as this shit is happening and was reblogged by someone who supports next-lvl/47-asura and was linked to my angry ass so here goes. 

stuff i dont like=/=shit that is literally illegal and triggering and harmful and normalizing of pedophilia. this is like that saying, that i’m about to paraphrase but like: an opinion is “i dont like the color purple” not “i think that people should be able to draw porn of minors” 

something i dont like and will blacklist is, like, a fucking character or ship i dont like not fucking PEDOPHILIA. like yeah, shit, if i fucking see someone who has been outed for being a terf, or a nazi, or uh, idk, DRAWING PORN OF MINORS i’m gonna fucking remind people and spread that shit around and make sure people KNOW. people like this arent welcome in the goddamn community, yo, and most people would like people like this to be pointed out to them because everyone cant be in the know about everything all the time. 

my dumb ass has enough time to be on tumblr a lot while im busy doing other stuff so when i catch this shit i let others know about it. i do take responsibility for my browsing habits, as do many others, but lol how are people gonna block the pedophile if they dont know the person is one? 

also, as a closer, shut the fuck up