#and the second longpost series I'm starting

[gainprincess]

"H-Has anyone seen Melt lately...? I've been looking for her all week..."

Well, she hasn't, really...She had an agent out searching for her.

What's that look for?! She can have agents! She's a major player here, you know! She has a ninja that works for her!

"PassioOoNlip-dono...I have retuRRrRnEd."

The robotic voice of Kashin Koji precludes the doll's presence, the woman dropping in out of nowhere as her spider-like metal tendrils clank on the floor to hold her in place. Her body's not all that anymore, and she sounds more like Siri than the master of illusions he was in life.

"W-Welcome back, Koji! What did you learn...?"

"BegINnnNinG report...No signs of Meltryllis-dono in designated class: ALlTer Ego. Lancer located, same position as previous repPpoRRt.

BB-dono remains secCCCluuuded...Recommendation: ExttttERminate. We are...UnSure of her motivAAATIoNs, after all..."

"No sign of her at all, then. She must be in a singularity, like you suspected at the start. We've been wasting our time there..."

It's like Passionlip's demeanor changed completely. The shy, if steel-backed young woman is no more. A calm, cool, collected woman has taken her place, and listens to her assassin's report with complete focus.

"Thank you for searching this past week for me, and I'm sorry for sending you on a wild goose chase. I'll take the matter about BB into consideration, but..."

She sucks in on her lip.

"What about the other matter I asked you to look into, Koji?"

"Nnnh? Other maAAAtteR?"

She closes her eyes, seeming to have to dig through her memory to recall an order issued to her merely 7 days ago.

"Ah- Yes, I reMmMember noWW."

A smile spreads across the spider's face as her tendrils clank and rustle in excitement.

"AaAlL is AcCOrDDinG to plan. They're A-a-a-already falling into posiTIION..."

She twitch-twitch-twitches. She'll need to recalibrate her voice box and limbs, then.

"Very good...Continue monitoring them, and let me know immediately if Avenger's routine changes. Even if she does something small."

"Of course, PAASssionlip-dooOno. I am eEvvER your faithful shinobi...Master."

Passionlip doesn't have hands. So no one would have any reason to check them for anything. Especially Command Seals.

That's why they're on her back. Three of them, in crimson red, unseeable by anyone who isn't trying to get behind lip for some inane reason.

Koji isn't 'officially' in Chaldea. She's not even Ritsuka's Servant.

The master of Assassin, Kashin Koji...

Is Alter-Ego, Passionlip.

"Hehehe...you don't need to call me that, Koji...we're friends. But, um, while you leave..."

"Can you survey the area? Make sure no one's listening in?"

"At onNCEe, Passionlip-dono."

The scuttling of spider legs echo as Kashin Koji flips herself back up into the vents, darting away to do a check on her mistress's domicile.

-

Breath, hot down your neck. The click, click, click of eight steel legs behind you, as you stare at your computer. The hissing of metal joints as they creak and groan.

A soft, warm finger gently tips at your chin, turning your eyes away from the Tumblr screen for just a moment. Just a secon-

Do nOooT OBBbSserve ThiIIngs you were not suppPPPosed to seeeEE.

You will be LEEETTTT off this time.

I am not known for second chances.

Scuttle, scuttle, scuttle. You blink. You're looking at Tumblr again. How odd.

Perhaps a trick of the light.

Yes.

That must be it, my dear reader.

A tTRIIccCCk of the ligHHhT.~

[itsatru]

longposting about the latest situation involving ex-roommate

skip if you want this is long - my old roommate just called to have me validate (i did not) her series of bad choices at work and i'm staggered:

1. She woke up and her dog had shit all over her bed so she had to wash her bedding before her shift at work (which was an extra shift she'd agreed to pick up for her manager).

2. She 'throws her back out' (truth mileage varies on this statement) carrying the wet laundry inside and sends a long email to everyone at work about how she can't show up for her shift today and will be going to get a massage. Her shift starts at 10:00am and she sends this email at 9:20am.

3. She also says that she'll be doing research at home on the 'special project' her boss gave her instead of coming to her shift. Basically curating a list of possible niche items to add to the store's inventory. Lots of online window shopping involved. She expected to be paid full hourly for her time at home working on this special project.

3. Manager1 (the person ex-rmte was supposed to cover for) sends back an email saying "Barring major emergencies, it is against policy to not give at least 24 hours of warning before missing a shift - you've put us in a scheduling bind for today."

4. Ex-rmte is fuming, calls me to bitch about it, then Manager2 texts her basically "Today is the birthday of Manager1's dead relative and she'd scheduled the shift off for that reason, so that's what she was terse at your no-show."

5. My ex-rmte decides that it's a good and appropriate idea to pay for a bouquet of white lillies to be sent to her work. Celebratory? Condolences? idk

6. The owner of the store sends ex-rmte an email, ccing the managers. He says that he hopes she enjoyed her massage while everyone at the store had a really hectic and overwhelming day due to her no-show. Says that she will not be paid for her research day at home and that working on this 'special project' (not so special nor a project apparently, just something she'd told him she wanted to do) was not a replacement for her shift. Says that she needs to show up for her weekend shifts and perform excellently, overt implication that she was gonna get fired unless she was just a perfect employee, the ice is THIN

7. She calls me a second time and is even more volitile, wanting to call and scream at the owner, wanting to quit, wanting to sue the store for the money she'd earned researching today, insistinging that they were 'stomping on her boundaries.' We hang up. She sends an extremely passive aggressive email back about how she "absolutely enjoyed the massage because she can now walk upright like a homo sapien" and how she'd sent flowers, and "never fear, I will return to work with bells on." She ended with "I'm turning off my phone now - have a good evening."

8. I'll find out when she turns her phone back on I guess...nothing at all good.

she needs her own netflix drama i stg