#and the ritual of materializing as an important step in many kinds of life transition

[gotjacobian]

saw a shitty reddit comment calling being trans “larping,” and now i’m really taken with the idea that I’ve achieved some kind of forbidden larpception. Made up a guy but then committed to the bit SO HARD that I developed a tolerance. Had to make up newer, even weirder guys to be. Where does it end?

[geminilily]

The Goddess is the universal Mother. She is the source of fertility, endless wisdom, and comfort. Wiccans revere Her as the giver of fertility, love, and abundance, though they acknowledge Her darker side as well. We see Her in the moon, the soundless sea, and in the green growth of the first spring. She is the embodiment of fertility and love.

As the Triple Goddess she is represented by three aspects: the Maiden, the Mother, and the Crone. The aspects each represent a different phase of life; the Maiden correlates with youth and puberty, the Mother with parenthood and maturity, and the Crone with old age and wisdom. Each aspect is then symbolized by a different phase of the moon, Maiden: Waxing, Mother: Full, and Crone: Waning & New. The phases represent the ever-shifting process of life unto death and then rebirth. She is the beginning and ending and everything in between.

The Number Three

The number three has often been a sacred number. It is still found in many sayings, such as, “all luck comes in threes,” or “a dream dreamed three times comes true.” Folktales often have three fairy godmothers or three wishes or three chances. It is also said by scientists that we live in the third dimension, the material world. Many ancient civilizations considered three to be a secret and lucky number. It symbolized birth, life, and death; the beginning, the middle, and the end; childhood, adulthood, and old age; body, mind, and spirit. Today, most schools of spiritual illumination have three steps or degrees. This can be found in the Masonic Lodge (Apprentice, Fellow-craft, Master) and most Wiccan covens or schools have three degrees. In numerology, the number three is the number of activity, creativity, talent, and knowledge.

The First Aspect: The Maiden

Sometimes called the Virgin or the Huntress, the Maiden represents the spring of the year and fresh beginning of all things. The Maiden is the continuation of all life, the repeating and endless cycle of birth and rebirth, of the body and of the spirit. She is the dawn, eternal youth, and she is enchantment and seduction. She is ripe with potential energy, vitality, wisdom, and spiritual growth. A lump of clay that has yet to be molded. She is represented in the lunar cycle by the Waxing Moon. The Maiden’s traditional color is white, indicating newness and innocence. She invites us to believe that future possibilities are infinite. She can be valuable when we need a fresh perspective on things. When we feel directionless she can be the creator of new ideas and new beginnings.

The Maiden is free with her feelings and emotions, often expressing herself in sudden decisions. She is empathetic to all creatures. She is independent, Her own person. No one owns or rules Her. She is responsible for Herself and Her actions. She knows who She is and dreams of the potential of what She can become. Vital to human happiness and growth is the Maiden’s determination to be Her individual self and all that She is capable of.

The Maiden is the Way-Shower in spiritual growth. She leads us down the spiritual path and urges us to combat our fears and hesitations. Through Her we learn to see the simple beauty and great wonder in the world. We remember how to imagine, which opens infinite doors in magick, particularly those of manifestation and astral projection. Without the ability to forget all the world has taught us we cannot do and look at the world with wide perspectives there remains a block on our ability to spiritually advance. In linear thought, in order to go forward, one must go back. In cyclical thinking one must always continue forward to reach the beginning again, however, in fluid thought, one can experience all aspects at once.

The Second Aspect: The Mother

The Mother aspect of the Goddess represents the summer, blazing noon, reproduction and fertility, and the high points in all cycles. She is in the ripeness of womanhood. This aspect is the one of ultimate and active creation. She is the great teacher of the Mysteries. The boiling or churning cauldron is Her symbol and She is represented in the night sky by the Full Moon. The Mother’s traditional color is red, the color of blood and the life force.

The Goddess as Mother seems naturally more accessible, because physical mothers tend to be closer to their children than fathers are. In the old days, there were no DNA tests, so a man could never truly be sure of fatherhood, but one could not deny a mother.

In the cycle of life, the Mother is associated with the stage of adulthood. Adulthood means accepting responsibilities, particularly those brought about by Her own actions. Acknowledging the results of our own decisions is one of the greatest responsibilities every individual, and humankind as a whole, has. By recognizing the Mother aspect of the Goddess we learn valuable lessons in self-discipline and patience as well.

The Goddess as Mother does not want Her creations to abuse themselves in anyway. Mistreating our bodies, whether by drugs and alcohol, or unsafe sex, or excessive food, or life threatening situations, it is against Her will. Mistreating our minds through negative self talk and staying in abusive situations are also not within Her desires. The Mother is balance and happiness, and enthusiasm for life.

It is through this aspect that we discover ourselves and our potentials; we learn to take responsibility for our actions. We learn to reach outward and inward, loving and receiving love. It is during this stage that we need to understand that every act of love is a ritual to the Mother Goddess, be it physical, mental, or spiritual. Love extends beyond the physical sexual act, encompassing acts of kindness and spiritual love. The Mother’s directive is, “To be loved truly, one must know how to love truly.”

The Mother is the great nurturer, Her love is unconditional, yet as with physical mothers, She disciplines when necessary. The Mother is confident in Her independence, going about the business of living while unconcerned with those who think they rule Her. There is no indecision within Her about Her abilities; She knows who and what She is. She is joy, and reveling in the joy of life itself. She is confidence, responsibility, and increasing knowledge of life. Along our spiritual journey she is the Great Teacher and Keeper of Knowledge. It is through Her that we learn the Great Mysteries.

The Third Aspect: The Crone

The Crone is the third and final aspect. She is also called the Dark Mother, Old Wise One, or the Hag. Since She is the least understood and symbolizes death, this aspect frightens many. The Crone recycles and reforms our soul into a new incarnation through Her cauldron. The Crone represents Winter, the night, the abyss where life rests before rebirth, the gateway to death and reincarnation, the Waning and New Moon, and the deepest of Mysteries and prophecies. Her traditional color is black, and the deepest of purples or dark blue. She is the Initiator into the Mysteries.

Advanced age and the wisdom of experience that comes with it should be honored and anticipated. It is a time of life when one can look back with introspection, remembering the good times with a happy heart and the bad times with wisdom. The rest of us could benefit from their help and hard-earned knowledge. Elders can pass on their knowledge by helping in schools, tutoring, and participating in events at community centers. They should demonstrate wisdom, vibrance, caring, and love.

The Dark Mother is the teacher of the very deepest of spiritual Mysteries, including the contacting of spirits. Through Her we learn the necessity of focusing our energy on important things, like spiritual growth, living our lives to the best of our ability while seeking the Goddess within. The Crone knows what She has been and what She will be. She is the ultimate Prophetess who sees the past, present, and future.

Everyone must come to terms with death and the Crone eventually. Most people have a healthy fear of death, which saves us from fatally risky behavior. That “will to live” is necessary to keep us fighting for survival through physical and mental illness. However, we should seriously contemplate our mortality. A comfortable relationship with the Crone will prepare us to handle the loss of friends and family. Eventually this relationship with the Crone will help us to make our own transition.

We must seek the Dark Mother not the other way around. When we continue our spiritual journey under the guidance of the Crone we find that the path that has led us downward eventually leads upward once again. With Her assistance, our eyes are open to the deepest spiritual mysteries. We gain the knowledge needed to plan a new life, whether that be the one in which we are now, or in the next.

Sources:

Maiden, Mother, Crone

D.J. Conway

Wicca: A Guide for the Solitary Practitioner

Scott Cunningham

Wicca: The Complete Craft

D.J. Conway

[starryeyedastro]

Forecast ~ Week of August 30th 2020

��� This is a general forecast of the current planetary transits. To see how they will affect you personally, check your natal chart to see which houses (areas of your life) they fall in, or if they’re aspecting your angles or natal planets.

What’s going on?

August 30th - Mercury Opposite Neptune, Venus Opposite Pluto

September 1st - Full Moon in Pisces, Mercury Trine Pluto, Sun Trine Uranus

September 2nd - Venus Opposite Saturn, Mercury Trine Saturn

September 4th - Venus Square Mars

September 5th - Mercury into Libra

⚗️ August 30th - Mercury Opposite Neptune Rx (19 degrees Virgo and Pisces)

This transit will only last for a few days, but it’s effects can be long lasting. Confusion caused by miscommunications or deceit are more likely. Watch out for news that you hear around this time -- do not take it at face value. Use Mercury Virgo’s analytical skills and fact check. Seek out different sources before believing what you see or hear. People who seek to manipulate can lead us astray easier under this influence.

With Neptune retrograde in Pisces (it’s sign of ruler ship) this can cause internalized beliefs based on false information -- beliefs about yourself that aren’t true. Again, use Virgo Mercury’s logical rational thought process to counteract this. 

You may need to examine your own beliefs. Are they true? Take a step back and look at it from an objective, outside point of view, and work on fixing it. You can also learn more about yourself right now but you’ll need to spend time alone for introspection.

It might not be the best time to rely on your intuition, but it IS good for creative expression, especially through words -- writing, speaking, singing or dancing. Let your imagination take you away, read your favorite poetry or watch a fantasy/sci-fi movie.

🗡️ August 30th - Venus Opposite Pluto Rx (22 degrees Cancer and Capricorn)

This transit will last until September 3rd, exact today. This can manifest as a power struggle in a partnership or relationship. One person could be trying to exert too much influence or manipulate another. Obsessive feelings or an unhealthy need to control can be more likely. 

With Pluto Rx in Capricorn, this can stem from a need to assert authority over another, coupled with emotional manipulation (Venus in Cancer). Anyone with a deep seated feeling of being powerless can (Pluto Rx) can unintentionally (or intentionally) cause problems in their relationships.

You might be more attracted to potentially dangerous situations, things, or people. Consider the risks and repercussions, stay safe and protect yourself. There are many ways to explore the darker sides of life without putting yourself or others in danger.

This can create a powerful subconscious need for more -- more money, power, sex, excitement, personal freedom, etc. And you might come up with ways to get these things, no matter what. Watch out for resorting to being sneaky, but if you seek to even the odds for yourself and break free from others who abuse or manipulate you, you can harness this subtle yet intense energy.

🦈 September 1st - Full Moon at 25 degrees Pisces

Charge up your amethyst crystals or labradorite under this full moon for maximum intuitive power. The Mercury Neptune opposition we just experienced might have helped you bring some self-limited beliefs to the surface, and now is the perfect time to release them!

This full moon is supported by an exact sextile to Uranus in Taurus, where it can shed light on a shift in consciousness, new radical beliefs, or a change in spiritual paradigms. An opportunity to turn your dreams into something useful and tangible. Pay attention to your ‘out of the blue’ ideas.

Your intuition is also fully back on track and supported under the Pisces full moon, so divination, channeling, rituals, magical workings of all kinds will have extra clarity and power. 

On the 2nd, the moon will be conjunct Neptune and sextile Pluto and Jupiter. These powerful planets will be working together for positive results, so focus your intent on whatever you want to transform or expand in your life. Work on emanating the same energy as what you want to attract. 

🙊 September 1st - Mercury Trine Pluto Rx (22 degrees Virgo and Capricorn)

“The devil is in the details, but so is salvation.” - Hyman G. Rickover

A fantastic time to study and research anything, especially things having to do with work, education, health and self-improvement. With Pluto Rx’s internalizing effect, you’ll have an easier time absorbing information and remembering it. 

You can also find it easier to ferret out the facts of even the most elusive subjects. You might be disturbed by what you find, but the truth is worth uncovering so we can make realistic and concrete improvements.

Use your mind, your intuition and your power of persuasion to enact positive changes in your life. You can be a positive transformative force in the lives of others if you stay practical yet optimistic. This being an earthy trine, we can easily overlook the other elemental influences, particularly air and fire (we’re under heavy earth and water influences right now). 

🔮 September 1st - Sun Trine Uranus Rx (10 degrees Virgo and Taurus)

Express your uniqueness, even the things you might feel embarrassed about, with confidence. Own them as a part of yourself. Smile defiantly in the faces of those who look down on you. Accept the differences you have with other people, and you’ll find it easier to fully accept yourself. 

You can also learn a lot about yourself during this transit, as well as subjects that aren’t quite mainstream or orthodox. Your intuition will be on point, and you can get sudden flashes of clarity about your place in the universe and what you’re here to accomplish. Ground yourself so you can feel more comfortable relying on your hunches.

Change something about your daily life, or how you see yourself. Seek new experiences or modes of thought. Explore a new aspect about yourself (Uranus Rx is more introspective). Define yourself as ultimately undefinable. Find ways to venture past your inner comfort zone.

😞 September 2nd - Venus Opposite Saturn Rx (25 degrees Cancer and Capricorn)

We can face delays or limitations around relationships, money and anything we value. You might run into setbacks with your relationship or romantic interest, lose your job, or receive some other bad news about money or material goods. 

Work and school can get in the way of love, pleasure and feelings of security. Loss of property due to lack of money can be a possibility. Don’t dwell on these things too long, just take it for what it is and seek new opportunities, set new goals.

Because Saturn is Rx, these feelings of insecurity, limitation and loss are more likely caused by internalized feelings. You could be holding on to self-limiting beliefs about being worthy of love and abundance. Getting to the bottom of this will involve introspection and being brutally honest with yourself. 

To help with this transit, let go of shame, guilt or blaming yourself or others, and commit to loving yourself unconditionally. Confronting the things you don’t value in yourself and working on healing these things will reflect on your relationships with others. 

⚙️ September 2nd - Mercury Trine Saturn Rx (25 degrees Virgo and Capricorn)

Today and the next three days are good for serious mental work -- paying bills, studying, taking care of important tasks and paperwork, as well as negotiating and business deals (you should still seek legal council for these things).

We’re more likely to be able to concentrate on practical, mundane things because they seem less boring right now. Anything that needs a lot of attention to detail will do well.

Any projects you start now will be sustainable and have long lasting positive results, as long as you put in the necessary work, research and proper planning. Be sure to use common sense and concentrate on practical results and real world evidence.

This is also a good time to seek advice from elders and professionals. If you are a professional or an elder, right now would be a great time to lend your advice as a mentor. Either way, you can build your authority and gain more respect from others.

🌋 September 4th - Venus Square Mars (28 degrees Cancer and Aries)

This transit is exact today and will exert influence for the next few days. The tension has been building in sexual relationships, and its effect will depend on the emotional health of the relationship.

If your relationship has been rocky, cheating or sexual/emotional manipulation can happen. If the relationship is healthy, you can have a lot of exciting sexual experiences. If things get really heated, it might be better to wait until this urgent, primal energy has passed before you try to work things out.

Be aware of your sexual health and practice safe sex. This is a ‘hard’ aspect, so it has the potential to cause related issues. A seemingly harmless roll in the hay could lead to an unwanted pregnancy, an STI or disputes with others. 

Avoid lashing out, getting frustrated or overly emotional -- we can be more likely to go off from anger or hurt feelings. Instead, find healthy ways that will let you burn off pent up energy, or express your emotions. 

✌️ September 5th - Mercury into Libra

Libra’s Mercurial influence is peace-seeking, so we might be more likely to find compromises. Work on your active listening skills to help others feel heard. You might be able to express yourself more truthfully, in a way that can help others understand how you feel without coming off as accusatory or combative.

A great time to make new friends, as long as Mercury is well-aspected. Work on your charm and powers of persuasion. If you’re not very socially graceful, you can use this influence to work on changing that.

Libra is the sign of the mediator. We might feel more inclined to find the middle ground wherever possible wherever there is an argument, especially ones that we recognize as a stalemate. Sticking up for the underdog or recognizing where justice needs to be served are also more likely.

Collaborations and projects where you have to work closely with another person can flow more smoothly, as long as both people hold up their end of the bargain. Also a good time to patch up any relationships that recently went through a rough patch with the Mars/Venus square.

Later this month, Mercury will oppose Mars and squares Jupiter, Pluto and Saturn in Capricorn. This will bring out the darker side of Mercury in Libra, the self-righteous vindictive side that starts arguments.

Thanks for reading! I’ll be back next week with more. If you like my forecasts, feel free to send me a ko-fi donation. Any and all support, moral or monetary is appreciated. 🖤

[superiormerch-blog]

Introducing Four Letter Word Coffee

We've been planning on sharing interviews with the roasters we partner with since our inception. Though it took nineteen months to implement, we felt like there was no better time than now to introduce Four Letter Word Coffee, whose multi-national presence is beginning to take hold in the U.S.

Ria Neri has her hands in A LOT of things. She's known for being a beer program director for some of Chicago's best restaurants and beer-centric spaces, she's one half of upstart Chicago beer company Whiner Beer Co. and most importantly to us she's one half of Four Letter Word Coffee. Four Letter Word began as a long-time friendship between Ria and Eylem Ozkaya — it was a great convergence of energies when the pair realized that Eylem's baking/pastry skills worked well with Ria's infinite desire to know more about coffee. Ozkaya had familial ties to Turkey — specifically, an island 35 minutes off the coast of Istanbul named Burgazada. Their dream became reality on the island in 2014, as a café which roasts and serves specialty coffee out of a tiny rectangular space known as Four Letter Word Coffee.

In 2016, Four Letter Word and Whiner Beer Co. began roasting in the U.S. and brewing beer with more than ten businesses by opening up shop in The Plant — an innovative "incubator" space that values closed loop systems. The Plant's long term goals include complete reuse of waste and materials along with the production of energy to power not only the space itself but over two hundred homes in the region. Though still in its beginning stages, Ria can already rattle off ways in which byproducts of coffee roasting and the jute bags that green coffee ships in are being reused throughout the building. 

We (accidentally) heard about 4LW through stumbling across the list of folks participating in this year's Uppers and Downers, a beer+coffee focused event held yearly in Chicago, the new and unusual name piqued our interest. Considering Ria has her feet firmly planted in both the specialty coffee and craft beer worlds, forging a connection was a no-brainer. Our number one goal at Superior Merchandise Company is to offer unparalleled + unexpected hospitality for our guests and we can think of few better ways to deliver than by bringing in a roaster that until now could be found only in Chicago + Turkey. Read on to hear about specialty coffee in Turkey, the intersection where coffee and beer meet and Ria's advice for folks interested in getting started in the roasting business: 

What brought you to coffee? I drink a lot of coffee, and decided I needed to know more about it. I’ve always been curious about processes, especially those that involve multi-levels of sensory and craft - food & drink. They can be instantly gratifying, once served to you, yet they took multiple steps to get there, with each process of the journey being so important to the end product.

Describe your favorite memory of coffee being served to you: Sitting in a hut in Southwest Ethiopia, no electricity, only fire, stars out at night, sounds of nature, shoes filled with mud, unshowered but happy, drinking traditionally prepared Buna.

How "different" is 4LW's coffee in context with what is being served in Turkey? While we serve the same quality coffees in Turkey, via the same “modern” methods, in Turkey, coffee is more of a social ritual. Our coffee shop stays open until 2AM. 2am? Does it serve alcohol? Nope! Technically we are open until midnight; however, people linger up until 2 am.

Are you incorporating  traditional Turkish brewing techniques with newer specialty coffee techniques in service on the island? In Istanbul, sometimes yes. We incorporate traditional Turkish brewing techniques, but utilize better coffees — for instance, instead of a bulk Brazilian Rio Minhas coffee (common in Turkish coffees) we will use a Yirgacheffe, or a coffee from Burundi…etc. We also will play around with grind size, extraction time, etc. But, most people, as I, prefer drinking the traditional Turkish coffee. Most of our guests want a taste of nostalgia more than anything else, and would rather explore specialty coffee through other methods (pourovers…etc). So in Burgazada alongside pourovers and espresso, you are also serving Turkish-style ibrik coffee? We are, yes. It’s not on the menu, however. We tend to have native islanders and traditional older folk ask for them. Can you speak to any of the infrastructure difficulties of running a roastery on an island that doesn't have any motor driven vehicles? Is green coffee tough to move? Yes and no. Logistically it takes a bit more planning — scheduling a ferry for instance is harder than scheduling a truck. But once it's on a boat, with the help of able-bodied people on the island, it’s a breeze. Any wild stories about operating a specialty coffee business there? Lots of cats. It’s not just people watching anymore. Big cats catnapping little cats, seriously, and then taking off your barista apron because you’re having to chase after them so the little ones stay safe. How difficult was it to transition from roasting on a Geisen 6K roaster (in Turkey) to a Probat 12K roaster (in the U.S.)? Not so difficult. The Giesen was the first roaster I have ever roasted on, so that in itself was already challenging. I was learning “how to” roast, but at the same time learning about the machine itself. Having gone through all that, when I was faced with a Probat, the transition was very smooth, the Probat is more manually driven & very intuitive, which is the way I love to work.

Can you pinpoint and discuss a moment on your roast learning timeline where you felt like you'd made a major breakthrough? I feel like it was not any single moment, but I think the major breakthrough was once I established my own system on paper wherein I was able to visually compare data and make decisions based on them. There are so many variables in roasting, and I was able to isolate each one of them in my head, however, until I was able to put those pieces together, it helped me make sense of the puzzle’s big picture. We do use Cropster, besides, and it’s a very useful tool to keep the findings based on my system consistent. Any advice for folks just starting out with roasting? Don’t be scared. And buy great green coffee. It does not matter how “perfect” you roast it if what you begin with is bad. Can you detail your most surprising revelation when visiting a coffee producing territory? Sounds cliché, but very true — how much I don’t know and still need to learn. Each origin is different. Every visit I come armed with new questions, develop questions while I’m there and leave with other new questions. Lots of questions always.  Being a new/small roaster, can you speak on what you believe your role in being present at origin is? There’s a sense of gratitude that is exchanged between roasters & producers that is especially motivating to both parties; that human connection helps me to be more mindful and do things better.

What made you decide to package Four Letter Word's coffee in 10oz retail bags? I think that 10oz bags allow for more variety of open coffee bags at home, without the risk of one getting older before it’s finished. Especially with single origins, those coffees are more about exploration, and you know, maybe I feel like going to Burundi one morning, maybe Honduras another.

Your bags are the first bags we've placed on our shelves that don't have the actual roaster name spelled out on the front! Clearly this isn't a mistake — I suspect it speaks more to your desire to let the coffee speak for itself? Tell us about this decision! I’m pretty minimal and I love when simplicity can make a statement. I suppose that I wanted the bags to stand out on their own, force a sort of mystery on the consumer, hopefully encouraging them to pick up and ask about it, without being distracted by a brand name, and stimulating conversation. Can you talk about any similarities or differences between the specialty coffee industry and the craft beer industry? What I love about both industries is the sincere interest from the audiences on the product you produce, like an appreciation from both parties which is reciprocal. Once again there is this product that is a catalyst for human connection and interaction. Non-flattering criticisms also welcome. In what ways does your experience as a beer program director/buyer come into play as a green coffee buyer/leader at 4LW? When I was (still am) a beer buyer, I bought beer based on: quality & where it came from (which brewery, which brewer, their philosophy). I do the same with coffee. 4LW's visual aesthetic is kind of the polar opposite to Whiner — the former being stately & thoughtful, the latter being fun and whimsical. Were these intentional choices when bringing these brands to life? Not intentional, it was more organic. They are a statement of merged personalities, I think. 4LW — Eylem (my 4LW partner) is classical, where  I am more of a minimalist. I brought that simple, minimal aesthetic to Whiner and combined it with Brian’s (my Whiner partner) bright & animated charm. As loud as the cans are, the illustrations are very simple. Your description on the Good Beer Hunting podcast of wanting to share/create "WHOAments" (great term, by the way!) — is that your singular, driving force for your businesses? A WHOAment is that time when you flip on your chair after an encounter with a seemingly familiar product or thing or idea that completely changes everything you have ever perceived about it. I love sharing my “WHOAments” — seeing others experience theirs, therefore changing their lives (or palates) forever. And re-living my WHOAments in return. How much collaboration is there in each 4LW and Whiner? Are both 50/50 with each respective partner? Full collaboration, yes. We respect and trust each others skills. And lastly, what is the best piece of advice someone has ever given you? Always be patient and listen to music. Thanks Ria! We look forward to having your coffee on bar from March to April!

[oracularwomaenoracular-blog]

Octopus crew. Empowerment through movement.

Agata invited Pauline, Tomasz Vala Foltyn and myself to be part of the panel Empowerment through movement for the Inventur 2, organized by Tanzhaus NRW. The way in which we worked for this panel was equally distributed in terms of decision making. We had long and enjoyable dialogs in which we shared our approach to empowerment, from a place of care and also deep reflection, bringing into the discussion academic references, personal experiences, dreams, hopes, work examples, reading materials, written tasks, etc, to collect information that could lead us to a wider understanding of what the embodiment of empower could mean for us. And one point of agreement was that empowerment implies embodying discourses, bring them into action, into movement.

In this sense, I brought the proposition of backing T’antawawas and bread. Which everyone interpret from their own places and practices. For Vala, backing was connecting with his grandparents, and therefore with his roots, because they were backers themselves. For Pauline it connected with the bodily motion of preparing the dough and the understanding of getting things together (discourses, stories, dreams) in the same product. For Agata it resonate in the agency of digestion and how to digest or not, or even being allergic to certain theories. For me backing T’antawawas (bread babies in quechua) was connected with the rituality of preparing a receptacle for something else to inhabit it. In Bolivia, during the Todos Santos (All Saints) festivity these bread babies are backed in order to receive the souls of the dead. Inside the houses, families prepare tables full of the favorite food and drinks of the beloved one and also full of bread and T’antawawas for the soul to inhabit. So, the link I made with this traditional practice in this context, beyond of the consideration of rituals as ancient and therefore decolonial knowledge, was to allow the audience and ourselves to imagine that all the theoretical references, personal stories work excerpts and practices we were sharing, were actually ‘with us’ brought into materiality through this idea of a soul or spirit inhabiting the bread.

Here I attach what I wrote to be shared during the panel: 

We cannot talk about post colonialism. Colonialism is still present in our societies. It is still happening in many ways bringing its side effects that makes me wanna finally get out of this world and the wheel of reincarnation.

Colonialism is inscribed in my life and it shapes my perception. It moves me between the existing classes and says I can exist in the place that was design for me. It dislocates me, it tears me apart, it causes me pain and anger and lots of contradiction. Colonialism still practice the shipping of people’s destinies according to race, class, gender.

How to enact another movement? how to allow a sort of aikido movement to analyze the intricate force that pulls us all in?

I prefer to refer to the term of decolonialism and start from the significative change it proposes in terms of language usage. The de- takes into consideration the existence of something while as the post implies it is over and in this simplicity lies the risk of covering an open wound with dirt, instead of giving fresh air to it.

My language was taken away from me. Native tongues in Bolivia are still connected with the prejudice of being below the master’s tongue, the civilized tongue and the idea of shame towards the place of origin. In order to move from the country side to the city lots of people just want to forget the mother language. So my mom never spoke to us in quechua.

I say ‘ñuqa munanichu’ I love u, and I really have to chew the words so they can stay in my mouth a bit longer but I also would like to pretend it is effortless, the this act of remembering words i don’t say most of the time become something common. Then i take the sensation of something as graspable as the sonority of the voice, the resonance in my whole vocal apparatus as something I can hold on to.

Memory is needed for exercising miracles. There is more than just the act of recalling things, there is the possibility of inhabiting the place to which the memory is bringing us to if we are attentive enough. Body archives sensations, emotions, feelings, traumas, joys, sickness, abandonment, and lost languages. What portion of me keeps the ability of articulate a word in quechua? what part of me is willing to look after the pieces of it  

Hijacking the language that is mine and is not at the same time becomes necessary, so the words are not holy institutions but vivid and in constant transformation. Cuerpa, cuerpx and not cuerpo are the  hijacked version of body in spanish and I like the way in which this neologism is opening new ways of entering the understanding of the body that is linked with the usage of language that inscribes gender, hierarchies in many words that we use.

The action of touching the words or making new meanings visible, like Pauline’s abecedarian is the vivid action of owning the language, any language (s) we speak.As Helene Cissoux says, language connects us with the affect towards the ones whom taught us and thats the entering point for the sense of belonging to certain a culture. 

Somehow I think am missing a part of that affection, my sense of belonging is dislocated. I wander in the Place Gloria Anzaldúa calls Nepantla: (nahuatl word for the in between space that refers to a no-place place) liminal space between the ways things had been and an unknown future. A transitional place that demands contradiction of cognition,belief systems, perspectives, in order to exist.   

Cause my language was taken away from me before even being born, I don’t know the place of belonging. Too ‘from the city’ , too señorita and privileged to the eyes of people from the country side and too native like looking to the eyes of Europe. The gate for entering a culture was closed and sealed with shame, so I try to imagine ways of inhabiting that memory that is part shaped by my references and observations and part shaped by what I imagine of it. My identity is ch’ixi (The aymara word that literally means mixture of colors, which according to the sociologist Silvia Rivera is the juxtaposition of different identities and the recognition of the existing influences within ones life.

The Ch’ixi identity from Rivera has for me a lot to do with Anzaldua’s Nepantla, she connects it to Turner’s liminal space, and van Gennep’s concept of liminality that describes the point of contact between the worlds of nature, spirit, between humans and the divine which I like to connect to the concept of the mesh from Morton, which brings into consideration a most needed posthuman perspective that can enact reflection of power structures and I would propose to crack the power structures.

Considering a place of coexistence between nature, objects, bacteria, spiritual entities as non hierarchical space I would like us to go back to rethink the space of the museum. The museum a s a colonial institution where knowledge is somehow trapped and made un accessible for lots of people. I’ll refer to the kind of museum such as The L’oeuvre and Museo del Prado which for me keep knowledge from peoples from all over the world. Museums acting as sorts of jails, keeping relevant information away from the people that are needing it the most to reconstruct the memory of the culture they’ve, we’ve been ripped of.

Maria Galindo, member of the feminist collective Mujeres Creando interviewed the Director of Museo Del Prado in Madrid with regards of the paintings of the bolivian baroque painter Melchior Perez de Holguín and the possibility of returning them to Bolivia. The answer was a categorical no, because for the director the paintings were legitimately purchased to which Maria pointed out that the money with which they paid was coming from the exploitation of el Cerro Rico, so from the same country. But the director of the Museo was again referring to the legality of the adqusition. The figure of what is legal is problematic, legality sadly, still nowadays lacks of true ethics, which brings me again to Gloria anzaldúa and her definition of conocimiento/knowledge, as something that is a experience that goes through the whole body and that implies consciousness which is something that no regular school, or university can teach.

The ancient memory of many communities Is locked in several european museums. If Europe dares to face decolonization, it has to return the objects taken to its places of origin. That’s one way of allowing peoples from all over the world their fair access to memory, and through memory the experience and the embodiment of different knowledges. 

About four years ago, Illa Ekeko, a ritual object from the Tihuanacota culture finally returned to Bolivia. But again, the Museum of History of Bern stablished the agreement of returning the ritualistic object, saying what people that are the original owners what to do with it.

Memory is an access to knowledge. Knowledge is empowerment. Knowledge can is related to the embodiment of experiences : rituals, preparing of the ritual, gatherings. Exercising memory is something that is important for me in order to understand how I exist in this world. In order to expand my vision and to move forward I need to revisit places, to trace back my steps and my ancestors steps to have a wider notion of possibilities on the performance of myself, instead of allowing the system to chew me as a over spoken word, as a KFC nugget or to exist for it only as a consumer of everything and i mean everything because even spirituality is a huge business and ending up buying a ticket to a place that offers the mystical trip to the discovery of the self is so easy .

There’s no place that will allow me to find my self but the place inside myself, a place that requires  self recognition, a non romanticized place that allows the remembrance and mourning about what has been lost and just then start to think what can be done to heal.

Daring to confront the blurry, messy places in the collective memory allows  the first step of cleansing to happen. So the proposition is not to go back to a clean, pure place, but to acknowledge where we come from and how to make peace with the past in order to move forward.

Rituals are ways to enter into ancient knowledge, into places where science and spirituality are still mingled, where quantum physics have no need to be explained in formulas and the chemistry of tangible matter together with invisible matter such as thoughts or feelings intersect in a way that allows transformation to happen.

And here we are re interpreting the tradition of the T’antawawas, quechua word that means bread baby. During La fiesta de todos Santos, people bake Tantawawas to receive the souls of the departure ones. The portal in between the world of the death and the living is believed to be open between the 1st and the 2nd of November, so the souls can come to the world of the living and stay with their beloved ones for a day. A table full of Tantawawas and the favorite food and drinks of the departure one is awaiting them home. Then love works as a point of access to healing, and love is not the romantic or naiv, selfish love we’ve seen in hollywood movies. Let’s think of love as the only way out of patriarchy, colonialism, capitalism because love refuses to be silent, ignorant, so knowledge is an act of love, transformation and empowerment.

We want to invoke, to invite those who we cherish in our hearts, those who showed us the knowledge we needed, we wait here for them to share with us, we allow them a space not just for people and not just for people that departure. We call for the spirits that shaped us into what we are, places, mountains, rivers,animals, plants, languages. We await for something else to exist in this space. 

 http://ednetwork.eu/2017/04/18/edn-conference-inventur-2-at-tanzhaus-nrw-dusseldorf-programme/