#and the passion fruit that drinks so much fucking water that i water it daily and it's still shriveling up every morning

[hillbilly---man]

Sharing my ginger plant (grown from a piece of ginger I bought from the grocery store) because it's doing great and I appreciate that it's low maintenance, unlike my borderline-invasive cherry tomatoes and green beans

[iloveaustinelvisandmannymore]

Blame.

Pairing: Elvis Presley x reader

Warning: INCEST! INCEST CHILD! Tia being a little brat, Favoritism, Sisters/mother & daughter dynamic, Make-up sex, Shower sex, Oral (Fem & male receiving) Multiple orgasms, Apologizing gifts, Creampie and Cum shots, Squirting ( the reader's 28 and Elvis is 50).

Summary: Tia broke one of Elvis's favorite vases which was his mother's, unfortunately, you showed up at the wrong time and tia blames you like she always does and you are sick of it.

You smiled feeling your husband kiss your neck and snuggle you into his chest "Wake up princess and give your Daddy some sugar." he whispered in his morning voice, you very much wanted to but you had your duties, and he did as well "You know we can't. Now let me up so I can make breakfast." you giggled and wiggled free for his grasp, playfully roll your eyes at his weak protests. You walked into your bathroom to start your daily morning routine, Elvis groans, and fellows you on his way around you to his side he slapped and groped your ass cussing a yelp out of you. He smirked as he began to brush his teeth pretending he didn't see your cute glare.

You huffed with a smile and got dressed to make breakfast for your daughter and your handsomely-cute Daddy.

You were cooking waffles, eggs, ham, and hash browns with a fruit bowl and drinks were orange juice or water if they wanted some. "That smells wonderful, darlin'." Elvis moaned, his ringed hands on your waist and chest to your back, gently swinging you both from side to side. "So beautiful, 'm so lucky." he kissed your shoulder "Yeah?" you whisper "Goddamn right." he turned your head to the side and kissed you with a deep passion.

The kiss continued until a small southern accent called out "Eww Mama! Daddy!" she squeaked "Hush now, I can give a little lovin' to your sister." Elvis said sternly, he gave your ass one more smack, and with Tia took his seat.

"Y'all be good girls ya hear?" Elvis looked between his two little girls, ready to leave for the Studio "Yes, Daddy." "Yes, Handsome," you both answered Elvis, smiled, and bends down to kiss his littlest daughter's cheek before dipping you into a kiss leaving your cheeks hot. You both wave goodbye to him and shut the front door of Graceland "let's go baby." you lead her to the living room, sat down, and began her first lesson of the day.

You were picking up and organizing Tia's pencils and papers when you heard a loud crash upstairs "Tia?" you yelled rushing to the sound, scared that something happened to your baby, you paused staring down at Elvis's favorite vase with only one thought 'fuccck' you were into much shook to hear the front door open but Tia did "Daddy!" She shouted "Mama broke it! She was messing around with it and it broke!" she exclaimed pointing at you and looking at Elvis with teary eyes all before you could turn around and explain.

Elvis enraged glaze met your pleading one, hoping he wouldn't believe her again "Is this true?" he asked "What? N-no—" you stuttered "So ya saying your sister is lying?" Elvis hissed. You couldn't believe it. He was taking her side again! "I can't believe you! Do you think I would?! Before Tia, I did not touch anything you said not to play with and you'd think I start now?! So you gonna believe I broke your favorite sunglasses? Spiled marker ink on your favorite white suit?! Because Tia is succh an angel and your wife is to blame for everything! Fuck you. Dad. " you snapped storming to your bedroom.

Elvis addresses Tia "is it true all those times it was you?" "Yes, daddy.." She nodded looking at her tiny shoes "Go to your room I'll deal with ya later." Elvis pinched the bridge of his nose with a sigh "Yes daddy." once Tia headed to her room Elvis strolled to his and your bedroom, Normally you'd lay on your side of the bed when you're upset but at the noise of running water he knew just where you are, He walked into the bathroom, the glass was fogged but he could still see your outline and without saying a word Elvis strip himself of his clothes and step in behind you.

Elvis hugged you, the water from the shower head covered your bodies, hot water ran down Elvis's chest making the hair on his chest lay flat, his jet black hair grows longer and his back muscles shined from the water "I'm sorry little mama." he rests his forehead against the back of your head, his arms around you "I should've believed ya, you're not just my daughter but the love of my life, my wife." you said nothing "Let me show you." Elvis kissed your back down to your spine to both of your butt cheeks, he turn you to him and lifted your leg over his left shoulder, and his soft and loving kisses continue up your leg to your warm pussy, he dragged his tongue between your folds and he swirls it around your clit before he sucked it into his hot wet mouth, his hand messages both of your sweet thighs, his harsh sucks were almost too much but you won't show reaction well that was the plan until his tongue shoved itself into your pussy and he shakes his head, his nose rubbed against your clitoris his mouth slurred up your juices, you let muffled cries as you come around his tongue, licking you clean he stands back up, turned off the water, moved the shower curtain and picked you off your feet.

You shivered as the cold air of your room bites at your wet skin, as much as you hate to admit it, your arousal dripped out of you when Elvis laid you on the bed. Elvis took a moment to admire you, Goddamn you were gorgeous, pulling you into a burning hot kiss he slowly inches inside your already sensitive cunt, your hands digging into his back as your tongues fought for dominance "Move." you order monotone against his lips, you still refuse to give the satisfaction. Elvis did just that, his hips set a passionate yet hard pace as his lips trailed across your neck and shoulder "Daddy's sorry lil mama." he whispered into your ear with a hard thrust forcing a gasp out of you, elvis leaned back, and throw your legs over his shoulder, you had to bit your lip to stop from moaning as he hit your cervix "Please let me hear ya." he begged, pounding slowly which you just shook your head, only to betray yourself as he began to hammer into you as he'd never do it again, you moaned loudly and arch your back "That's right. Let me hear ya." he granted, sweat gracing his tan skin, pants left him, he can never get tired of fucking you.

You squealed, reaching your climax, squirting onto Elvis and the bed, making a complete mass. you and Elvis showered together after he called one of the maids to change your bed, luckily she was quick, but you still didn't say that you forgive Elvis for what he had done, in fact, you took a nap and kicked out of the room, giving he an idea how to apologize since sex didn't work. Letting you sleep and getting Jerry to watch over Tia, He got you three diamond necklaces, a beautiful bouquet of pink, white, and purple colored roses, and candy with a bottle of wine. " Darlin'," Elvis spoke softly while he gently shook you awake "What?" you groaned tubing your tired eyes but tried not to smile once you saw the gifts Elvis brought as much as you wish you couldn't stay mad at him for long you,"'m sorry, please please forgive me," he asked one more, "One one condition. You better believe me when I tell you if Tia did something ok?" you spoke sternly "Promise," he replied, placing a kiss on your hand "I guess I should reward you huh?" you smirked and got off the bed, onto your knees between Elvis's parted legs.

"Darlin?" he questioned, his hand on your head as you begin to undo his lavish belt "Want to taste you daddy." you looked up at him with puppy eyes, tugging at the waist of his pants, "God fucking damn it." He murmured, hastily taking off his pants and his cock slaps against his belly, a small ball of pre-cum stood prettily on his tip, you licked it off, moaning at the salty taste before taking all of him down your throat with practice ease causing him to gasp and grip the blanket like it was his lifeline, once you were sure his whole member was coated in your saliva you began to lick at his tip like the tastiest lollipop as you jerking his cock and playing with his balls. Suddenly Elvis pushed you all the down causing you to squeeze his balls in shock "That's it mama" he groaned throwing his head back, trying his hardest not to cum but that fail when you sucked particularly hard "Fuck!" he nearly shouted coming into your mouth, keeping you right where you are to make sure you swallowed every last drop. He pulled you into a kiss, tasting himself on your tongue "I love you, baby." you smiled "I love you too." you replied.

Taglist: @plasticfantasticl0ver @kendralavon7 @galaxygirl453 @18lkpeters.

[sadachmesarthim]

bingo fill two: cum fetish

content: peter being a Sudden Service Top, shy!tony, tony being an Absolute Whore 

hope you enjoy <333 

Peter was nothing, if not a man of science. Above all else, he cared about thorough investigation and novel discovery.

So when he realized what a cumslut Tony Stark was... He decided to experiment.

They hadn't been together long - they'd danced around each other for years, finally caving when Peter finished undergrad. It was a comfortable type of love - something you see in old movies, or cheesy romance novels.

But the sex... Jesus christ, the sex.

Peter hadn't had much time for... self discovery, while in school. Between patrol, double majoring in biochem and genetics, and maintaining a semidecent sleep schedule, there wasn't really opportunity for him to date or fuck around.

So when he came back to Manhattan, and they finally quit mooning over each other... needless to say, Tony hadn't had that much sex since his twenties.

It was generally kind of nice. Tony was sweet, gentle in his love making. Peter preened under the attention, sure - there was nothing wrong with their sex life. But Peter could tell Tony wanted something different.

When he brought it up, Tony turned bright red, stumbling over his words.

"It's not... There's nothing wrong, honey, really, I promise. I just... Sometimes I wish I was in your... position." This left Peter confused. "You... You want to bottom?" He'd never mentioned anything about it before.

Peter's tone didn't help Tony's blush, nor did it make him feel better about the whole ordeal. "Listen it's not... It's not an issue really and I don't... I don't have to. Seriously, if you're not comfortable we-" Peter stopped him mid sentence.

"Okay, no, that's not what I said at all. I just didn't know what you meant, Tony, let's take a step back." His hands immediately went to Tony's shoulders, bringing the older man back to the present. Grounding. "I love you, you know that right?"

Tony relaxed in his grip, taking a deep breath. "I know, I know, and I love you too. I just... It's embarrassing." Peter cocked his head, still not following. "You gotta use your words, T, or I can't give you what you want."

He closed his eyes, thumbs stroking over Peter's knuckles. He could do this, he could do this.

"I... So you know how you got bit by the spider, right?" Peter was very aware. He was also aware of just how bad Tony was stalling.

"Tony if you don't just spit it out I swear to go-"

"I want to see how much cum you can fit inside me!" He broke. With Peter holding him, right up in his face, he couldn't do it, couldn't hold it in anymore.

He slid to his knees, head falling into his hands. "I just... You can go so much, and sometimes when I'm fucking you I get to thinking.. How many times could you go in one night? How much could you produce? A few ounces? A cup? More? Makes me cum so quick just thinkin' about it, even in my old age. Can't stop thinkin' about it, about you fillin' me up like that. I can't do it anymore.

"It makes me feel like a gross old man, you know? Thinking about you like that? About you using me like a toy? It drives me crazy but I can't stop, can't keep it in anymore." He was shaking, unable to stop himself once he started.

Peter's eyes were wide, mind racing to process what Tony was saying. The bite had impacted their sex life - he could rebound almost instantly, and he did... produce more than the average twenty-something.

He sat down next to Tony, cradling him. "That's all you had to say, baby, it's okay. Shh shh, you're okay." he rubbed circles into Tony's shoulder, kissing his temple. "You know I'd never judge you for wanting something, right?"

Tony sighed. He knew that, logically, of course. His anxiety around admitting it didn't listen to logic, though, and it was hard to override that. "I know. I know. I love you. I'm sorry for freaking out."

Peter just kissed him again. "It's okay, T."

•|||•

Peter waited a few weeks before bringing it up again - both for Tony's benefit, and his.

He'd spent a long time digging through medical journals, doing independent research... He even made a (very awkward) call to Dr. Strange.

It didn't take him long to create a game plan: he needed to double his water intake, get more leafy greens and ripe fruit in. It wasn’t difficult - he had to shift around some of his calories, sure, but he made it work.

The worst part was not orgasming. He and Tony'd resumed their normal sexual activities a few days after their... discussion. But Peter made it a point not to cum - he wanted to build up as much as possible.

Even worse - he was edging himself several times a day. Massaging his prostate, sleeping with Tony, jerking off until just on this side of orgasm in the shower... He made it a point to work himself up and then leave himself there. He'd read several articles that talked about edging and semen production, and they all agreed - the less you cum, the more you produce and retain.

So he went with it. For the better part of a month - he didn't cum.

Tony, initially questioned it - but with some solid reassurances, and promises that Peter had "something exciting" in store, he let up. Getting him on the edging process was fun too - enough spice to keep Tony entertained until Peter was ready.

And ready, he was.

•|||•

He decided on a Friday night - that way they'd have all weekend to recover (or continue, if Tony wanted).

He made a real spectacle of it, too - stocking them with water bottles and easy snacks, bringing in a bunch of clean towels and leaving them at the foot of the bed. He wanted this to be good for Tony, and part of that was being ready for anything.

He waited until Tony was finished with work to bring it up. He didn't want Tony to be distracted at all, and he knew exactly how much anticipation can hinder daily activities.

When Tony walked through the doors of the penthouse, he could tell something was up.

It wasn't like Peter to be so... Flighty.

He was walking circles around the bar, drink in hand. Tony couldn't tell whether or not it was a drink drink, but it didn't matter... If Peter was up and pacing like this, there was definitely something up.

"Hey baby, how was your day?" Okay, yeah, something's definitely up. Peter never asked - he always waited for Tony to start - always gave Tony the opportunity to either vent about, or forget entirely, the day he'd just finished.

Tony dropped his suit jacket on the bar chair, walking back to meet Peter where he stood. He grabbed Peter's face in his hands, kissing down from his forehead to his lips. Peter sighed into the contact, relaxing immediately. "It was okay. What's got you all tense like this?"

Peter exhaled sharply before responding. "You know how you... brought up that thing, a few weeks ago? That thing you wanted to try?" Tony hesitated, eyes narrowing. "I... Yeah. Why?"

Peter blushed under the scrutny. "I've... Well, you know how I've been working on that thing? Not... not coming? I wanted to surprise you... And I think today'd be a good day." Tony was confused now. "You... you wanna try it? Topping, I mean?"

Peter snorted. "Not just topping, silly. That thing you specifically mentioned - seeing how much I could make, for you? I've been keepin' myself on edge, saving up all my cum for you." Tony shivered, goosebumps forming down the entire length of his arms. Peter's breath left his hair on edge, his words burning straight through Tony.

"I... I remember. Are- are you sure? Like I said, I mean, we don't hav-" Peter cut him off almost immediately.

"If I didn't want to do it, baby, why would I bring it up? Why would I spend almost a month edging myself for you? Why would I spend a month intentionally eating semen-enhancing foods, hmm? You think I was doing all that stuff for the hell of it?" Tony blushed at the words, head dropping to Peter's shoulder. "No, of course not, I ju-"

"You need to stop making excuses." Peter pulled back, meeting Tony's eyes. "If I didn't want to do this, I wouldn't have brought it up. Wouldn't have spent so long making sure I was full enough, had enough for you. You know how long it's been since I've cum, T, baby? Twenty seven days. It's been twenty seven days of edging, of producing this-" he reached down, gently cupping his own balls through his shorts "- for you? All of this cum, just waiting for you, waiting for your pretty hole?" Tony shivered at the words. Fuck, Peter knew exactly how to work him up.

"I'm sorry, baby, I just- this is a lot. So much, Pete, you gotta know that." His vulnerability was aparent.

"I know, Tones. We can go slow if you want - we won't do anything. Just want to show you i'm willing." Peter's tone was gentle, reassuring. It helped Tony immesurably.

"I- okay. I want to. Try, I mean. I trust you, we just gotta.. Gotta go slow. I'm an old man, you know." Peter knew it was said in jest, but Tony would always have a soft spot in his heart. "Not that old," he poked.

Tony bit back with a kiss, forgoing words he wasn't sure he could find. It was slow, soft at first - a thank you for everything Peter did for him, for the whole situation.

Peter responded eagerly, taste of grenadine and carbonation on his lips. Thank god, he hadn't been drinking. Something Tony'd always appreciate - Peter's sober excitement. The energy he put into their relationship. The devotion. He balanced Tony out perfectly. 

Peter nipped at his bottom lip. It was sweet - playful, but it made the whole thing so much more intense. Tony responded in kind, licking into his mouth. He pulled a quiet moan from Peter, seizing the opportunity to meet the other's tongue. Passion always took a while to build with them - reverence and love always taking priority.

Today, though... Today was different.

Tony's mind was still going steady, trying to process exactly what they were about to do. Peter really wanted to try this with him. It was groundbreaking.

He felt the excitement burn low in his stomach. He'd always had a thing for cum - whether it was his inside someone, or vice versa - there was just something so visceral about it. Watching it slowly drip from someone's hole, sucking it out, sharing it. The idea of breeding someone, of being bred, having cum forced inside him over and over again, without consequence...

He'd tried to keep his love for it under wraps - Pepper had no real want for children, and god forbid he get wrapped up in a custody battle. He hadn't messed around with other men since his twenties, either, so the opportunity to explore this side of him just... never came up.

But now, with Peter - his most beloved supertwink with a refactory period of, like, -1, and his enhanced output... the possibilities washed over him.

He hadn't realized just how turned on it made him until Peter separated them, hands toying with Tony's waistband. The sudden lack of lips on his gave him the opportunity to express his appreciation - several broken moans escaping him. "Oh god, Peter, baby please."

He never claimed to be above begging, but he didn't do it often. It was a sight to behold, and with Peter being on a hair trigger...

Peter reached up, grabbing Tony by the throat. "What do you want, love? Use your words, tell me. Can't give you what you want if you don't use your words, Tony."

Tony dropped his head, gasping into Peter's neck. "Please, Peter, baby. I need you to fuck me."

Peter laughed, breathy. "Can't hear you, baby. Come on, come up and tell me what you want."

Tony looked up, shaky exhale falling onto Peter's lips. "I. Need you. To fuck me. Please, Pete?" His request was met with a smile. "Of course, baby."

Peter reached down and hooked under Tony's thighs, lifting him up like he weighed nothing. Tony often forgot about Peter's strength when they weren't in the field - feeling weightless like this, safe in Peter's arms? It was erotic, it was safe, it was everything. "Oh, god."

Peter took them to the bedroom, carefully setting Tony down on the bed.

Tony reached his arms up, snaking around Peter's neck. He brought them together for another kiss, not wanting to lose contact with Peter.

Peter chuckled, carefully peeling Tony away from him. "We can't do this if you don't let me get naked, T. Be patient." Tony rolled his eyes, allowing his fists to fall back to the bed. "Been patient, need you now." Peter tossed his shirt to the floor before dignifying Tony with a response.

"Don't talk to me about patient, mister. I've gone almost a month without coming, how do you think I feel?" He finished removing his jeans, leaving him in nothing but strained boxer briefs. Tony could see the outline of his cock, already leaking. He was nearly as hard in his own pants - which he was suddenly excited to remove.

Peter, perceptive as always, walked toward Tony and began helping him strip. Now shirtless, Tony reached up to place his hands on Peter's chest. He planted small kisses all over it, worshipping the man in front of him. Peter threaded his fingers through Tony's hair, enjoying the attention. "I thought this was about you, baby. Why you takin' your time with me?"

Tony looked up, smiling at the man above him. "Just thankful, is all. Love you." Peter cupped the sides of his face, reaching down and kissing Tony reverently. "Anything for you, baby. Anything. Now, let's get you out of those pants." Tony fiddled with his zipper, tugging the slacks down to his ankles before kicking them to the side. Now in a similar state as Peter, he felt so much more open, exposed. They were really about to do this. Peter had prepared for this. His dream was finally coming true.

He inhaled sharply, feeling the flush of arousal reach his cock. It was so intense, so much all at once - he felt high. This was definitely not an experience he planned on forgetting anytime soon.

Peter straddled him, shifting them back and up the bed. He met Tony halfway, sighing into the kiss. It was firey, full of hunger - neither really wanted to wait anymore.

Peter pulled back, meeting Tony's eyes. "Are you ready? You sure about this?" Tony nodded his head, mind too cloudy to use words right away. He was ready about this, so fucking ready.

His face must've said everything - Peter quickly helped him out of his boxers, sliding them down and tossing them next to the towels. He grabbed the bottle of lube he set out, wetting his fingers thoroughly before reaching down.

Tony'd opted to lay on his front, knees tucked under his hips for better access. Thank god for a nanite bed - they'd developed the tech to aid healing times and recovery after surgery and intense (battles) workouts, but quickly discovered the many sexual uses for it - one of which being added support for Tony's joints.

Peter traced over his hole, toying with him a moment. He very rarely topped in general, but he'd be willing to do it for the rest of his life if it meant he could see Tony like this. He was already so sensitive, gasping and rocking back into the attention. Peter laughed, gripping Tony's hip harder and steeling him before teasing his rim. He was so gentle - just barely dipping in with his index finger before massaging around and pulling back out. He wanted this to be good for Tony, not just a check off his bucket list.

Tony keened, hips pushing back into Peter's fingers. Greedy. "Relax, T. Let me do the work, okay baby?" All he received was a high whimper in response.

Peter laughed, rolling his eyes as he finally gave Tony what he wanted - he thrust two fingers in, careful not to go too deep to fast. Tony moaned, pitchy and high in his throat. It was so much better than he remembered.

Peter kneaded Tony's ass with his free hand, mouthing praise into his beautiful cheeks. Who knew he'd be such a service top? Peter certainly didn't, but he was definitely enjoying it.

He twisted his fingers, feeling around for Tony's prostate. When he found it he pushed, gently, redirecting his attention toward giving Tony the best prostate massage of his life. Tony instantly jumped, gasping into the sensation. Peter's fingers were just long enough to reach, just dextrous enough to keep him on edge. Tony fisted at the sheets, at Peter's shoulder - it was so much. Why did he ever stop bottoming?

He rediscovered his voice shortly after. "Fuck, Pete baby please, need you to fuck me now. Wanna cum on your cock, can't wait anymore. Please baby, please, need you." He was babbling, desperate and not willing to hide it anymore.

Peter, nearly as fucked out, conceeded. They were planning on going multiple times tonight, anyway, why not get the first orgasm out of the way? He pulled his fingers from Tony, wiping them off on one of the nearby towels. Good job, Parker.

Tony whined at the emptiness, still so unabashedly needy. Peter smiled to himself. He'd never seen Tony like this before, and he was so happy he was the one to do this to him. Tony was known for his stoicism and poker face - for Peter to be able to tear that wall down so easily? It was a pride point, for sure.

He reached for the bottle of lube again, coating himself in the cool liquid as he stroked. It didn't take much to get him ready - he felt like he'd been hard for eons, and wasn't thrilled with the whole "waiting" thing.

Peter rubbed over his hole again, smirking when Tony instinctively clenched around nothing. He sat up on his knees, easing himself into the man in front of him. Tony immediately dropped from his elbows, moaning as Peter sank all the way inside. It was so much better than he'd imagined - Peter wasn't particularly lengthy or girthy, but it felt like he was made for Tony. Designed specifically to fuck into Tony's hole, and to wreck him as he did it.

It literally brought Tony to his knees, arching back into Peter's touch and begging him to move. "Please, Peter, baby, give it to me. I can take it, whatever you give me, please, just please I need you to move. I need you to fuck me, baby, please."

it was enough to convince Peter. He pulled back, forcing himself all the way back with a quick snap of his hips. Tony moaned, broken and desperate. It was slowly becoming his mo - who knew Tony Stark was such a slut for his baby's cock, for his cum?

Apparently Peter'd been thinking out loud. He tended to do that during sex - couldn't keep his mouth shut, and whatever "filter" he had completely flew out the window. "Yeah? You like it when I fuck you, T? Like the idea of me cumming inside your pretty little hole? Wanna feel my cum leak out of you, baby? How much do you think i'll give you today, hmm? You do the math on it? I did. I did a whole fuck ton, just to see how much I'd give you.

"You wanna know how much cum I'll give you, T? Hmm? Math says it'll be 1000 mils the first time, can you imagine that? One thousand mililiters of cum, in your pretty little hole. Leaking out, drippin' all down your thighs? You're such a slut, can't even stay tight long enough to hold my cum inside. What a little cockslut, you are. Who would've thought?

"We already know how many times I can go. What was our max, like 8? Imagine eight of those fat loads inside you, love. Can you feel it? Can you feel me inside you? You're so tight, Tony, but you won't be when I'm done with you. No, I'm gonna stuff you full and leave you like this, leave you to feel as it runs out of you.

"Or maybe, maybe, I'll leave you here. I'll wipe you off, get you all clean. Then maybe I'll run over, grab one of our plugs. Plug your pretty little ass, leave you full of my cum. How about that? You like the sound of that?"

He did, by god Tony did. The sound of it, the sheer idea of being so full, so heavy with Peter's cum inside him... being plugged, and left to suffer..

It had him cumming embarassingly early. Tony typically prided himself on his stamina - stamina that was nonexistent with Peter's words.

He came, slack and broken, with Peter's name on his lips. He felt his own cum splatter on his stomach. It was pathetic, it was nothing compared to what Peter was going to give him. It was humiliating in the best way imaginable.

Peter groaned, gritting his teeth as he felt Tony tighten through his orgasm. It was too much, he was so on edge after waiting so long.

It was nearly painful when he finally came. He could feel his balls tighten, feel the fluid flowing through him and spraying out the other side. He felt like a fucking firehose, orgasm lasting nearly a full minute.

He felt like a popped balloon after, useless after being so thoroughly empty.

It was made perfectly fine, though, by Tony's rising stomach.

This might have been the first load, and it was probably going to be the biggest of them all, but Peter was still shocked at just how much of an impact it made. Tony's stomach grew, near a solid inch as Peter continued pumping into him. The more he thrust, the larger he got - Peter continued to thrust into him until it was painful.

When he pulled out, a healthy amount surged from Tony's abused hole, covering the sheets beneath them. Peter snagged a towel in time to catch it, not wanting it to soak through to the mattress. It took several to handle the mess in front of him, and by the time he was done Tony was nearly asleep.

Peter stood, walking over to their dresser. He opened the top drawer, removing one of their smaller plugs. There was zero resistence when he slid it inside Tony, preventing the rest of him from escaping.

Tony hummed, content. "When do you think you'll be ready to go again? Because I definitely need a nap." He hadn't opened his eyes, but he still blindly reached out for Peter.

He smiled, sinking down into Tony's arms. "Wake me up when you do. I'll be ready."

[iamtheblondestblonde]

Slides and Serendipity

Part Three (4.3k)

Part One   Part Two

AN: Here comes part three. Are you happy with the lengths of the chapters or do you think I should split them up into smaller parts? Feedback is appreciated as always and enjoy

Warnings: Language because Tyler is Tyler

The next morning I woke up with a pounding head. Even chugging water before going to sleep had not helped to prevent the hangover that was now haunting me. I didn’t even want to imagine how Tyler felt as he’d had way more to drink than I did but least he had the day off. 

A cold shower and changing into a comfortable outfit made things better but I still would’ve loved to stay in bed all day.

Yogi didn’t care about my headache of course and wanted attention as soon as I stumbled into the living room downstairs. After throwing his favorite ball a few times in the backyard I could at least convince him to come cuddling with me on the sofa. 

At that point my mind went back to the previous night and the way Tyler had looked at me all evening. On a whim I pulled my phone out to shoot a text to Tyler.

Me: Are you up yet?

I didn’t have to wait long until he sent back a picture of himself buried under Gerry on the couch, similar to my own position. Even sleepy he looked hot as hell, which was definitely not fair to everyone else on this planet.

Tyler: Barely.. My headache is so bad I didn’t even manage to make breakfast yet

I hadn’t gotten that far yet either so I suggested making breakfast together, mostly because I was too lazy to do all the work by myself and also because even though I had only seen him a couple of hours ago, I wouldn’t mind looking at this fine male specimen again.

I wasn’t really in the mood for walking and I definitely shouldn’t be driving in my stage so I decided on the easiest option, putting on roller skates and having Yogi pull me over to Tyler’s house. Perks of having a Husky mix. We had done this a couple of times over the last month and each time I had to do less work in my skates. Yogi was growing up so fast and his genes made him the perfect partner for stuff like this, in a couple of weeks I could probably stop skating altogether and only yell directions.

Tyler waited for me at the front gate to his house and started laughing as soon as he saw Yogi dragging me across the street. He opened the iron gates and then filmed us as Yogi kept running to his front door.

“Before you accuse me of anything, he loves this!”, I yelled over my shoulder as we passed him but I had to laugh as well. I knew we probably looked ridiculous but at least it was great exercise for the dog.

“Do you think I could get one of mine to do this with me?”, Tyler asked as I took of the skates in his doorway, letting Yogi off the leash.

“No way. Cash and Marshall are too lazy and with Gerry you’d end up flat on your ass in five seconds. One squirrel is all it’d take to ruin your day but you’re welcome to come with us sometime. I think you’re too heavy for him to pull though, he can barely do me.”

His pout made me laugh, which kind of didn’t make my headache any more enjoyable but he knew there was absolutely no way Yogi could pull him the way he’d just pulled me.

“You make it sound like I’m fat, this is all muscle baby”, Tyler joked, pulling up the hem of his shirt and flexing. I already knew that he was definitely anything but fat from feeling him up the day before, but I wasn’t going to turn down or interrupt the show he was currently giving me so I kept giving him unimpressed looks.

“You still probably weigh twice as much as I do so that’s too much for Yogi but I could probably do it, it’ll be a great workout for me”

With the way his face lit up at my idea nobody would have been able to guess that this guy probably spent half his life skating around and actually enjoying it, no matter if on or off the ice.

“I’ll definitely take you up on that but let’s do that sometime when I don’t feel like there’s a techno rave going on inside my head”

With that we moved on to the kitchen and Tyler put on some music as background noise for our cooking. Yogi was outside, happily chasing Tyler’s dogs around and taking full advantage of the pool. Rifling through his fridge I pulled out some fruits for smoothies and to snack while he prepared everything for ‘The Best Hangover Breakfast’, aka grilled cheese sandwiches. I was cutting up some watermelon and humming along to the music when Tyler spoke up.

“My friends and teammates have all been texting me nonstop about you, they probably like you better than me already”

His comment made me smile but I was unsure what to respond for a moment. As much as I enjoyed my time with him, I knew what everyone else said about him and it was stuff like this that could cause lots of problems for me in the future if I wasn’t careful.

“That’s because I’m way nicer than you are but they’ll probably never let us play beer pong together again”, I deflected, desperately trying to keep things at a platonic level where I felt comfortable.

“How are you so good at that by the way? I didn’t really peg MIT students as the type of people who would be good at frat party games”

“You’d be surprised really, you’re constantly under so much pressure that you need a way of blowing off some steam and smart people usually have the dumbest ideas. In my junior year for example we were throwing a party in our dorm and calculated the exact number of toilets we needed to flush in order to break the plumbing system. We didn’t really think far ahead though, because we had to use the showers and toilets in other dorms for over a week after that”, I told him and he burst out in a giggle that would have most sorority girls proud, gripping the counter so he wouldn’t fall over. His ridiculous laugh was so infectious that I had to laugh as well, still immensely fond of all the crazy things that had happened during college.

“Sometimes I wish I could’ve gone to college as well, from what I’ve heard most people have a blast there and I feel like I’ve missed out on a lot”, he told me after he’d calmed down, now turned around so he could look me in the eyes.

“I don’t know about that, you kinda got the best of both worlds. You didn’t have daily mental breakdowns during exam season and still got to attend frat parties and stuff. You also get to do something you love for a living, so your life doesn’t look too bad if you ask me”, I responded softly, getting the feeling that he truly did feel like he’d simply skipped over an important part in life. He smiled at me and we dropped the topic, instead continuing a more lighthearted conversation and taking our breakfast outside.

“I’m going to miss having all this time to myself soon. I still have two more weeks until my self-imposed deadline but I need to start buying stuff for my office and take care of all these other things”, I sighed, leaning back on my chair and closing my eyes to shut out the sun. I looked forward to being productive again, but I also really loved doing whatever I wanted whenever I wanted.

“I get what you mean. I have all those workouts and practice still but it’s nothing compared to when the season starts, especially when we want to make the playoffs again. I love hockey and I can’t wait to play again but it’s just a lot sometimes”, Tyler responded and I nodded understandingly.

“For you it’s worse because you’re in the spotlight all the time. If I fuck up that’s on me and reflects only on myself and maybe the people that I’m working with. People blame you for things you have no control over most of the time and get mad all the time”

He nodded and was quiet for a while after that, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. We were simply both lost in our thoughts but still enjoying each other’s presence. Eventually the pounding in my head subsided and Tyler must have felt better as well because he offered to show me around the house.

I was wrong about the waterslide into his pool being as extra as one could get because I hadn’t noticed the small lake with a goddamn fountain and private tennis court the day before.

“We’ll have to play sometime, I’ll wipe the floor with you”, I said after he told me that he didn’t really play that much. It was a mystery to me why he would need a private court in that case but that’s athletes, I guess. I wasn’t even that good myself but I was determined to beat him. He promised to end me in basketball in turn and he was probably right, because that sport had for obvious reasons, mostly my height and tiny hands, never been my forte.

The way he was proudly showing me all of his hockey related belongings was incredibly endearing and his comments were super cute. It was clear that he loved the game and that nothing could stop this passion and I admired him for it.

Quite a while later I made my way back to my house, Yogi almost not wanting to get out of the humongous pool. Once I had the roller skates back on, I got in the mood for it and for the next hour we casually continued skating around, although this time I didn’t let him do all the work. I really needed to stop slacking and look up nearby gyms soon or I could kiss all of my hard work on my body goodbye.

The rest of my Saturday afternoon was spent texting Katie about lunch and in front of my tablet, facetiming the girls so I could relay the events of the day before. Safe to say there was constant screaming, squealing and lots of questions being shot at me. Lisa was incredibly pleased with herself because her plan of getting Tyler’s attention had worked but Emily was worried that it had worked a little too well while Mara kept saying that I was living her dream.

“You need to tone it down a bit, I think. You said you didn’t want to risk your friendship through sleeping with him right now, so you need to make sure that things don’t get this heated again or you’re going to get hurt”, she said softly and I knew she had a point. Keeping my hands off of Tyler for now would be the only way to avoid unnecessary drama. I knew his type and while I usually didn’t mind hookups, famous athletes weren’t the best choice in that department.

“From what you’ve told he sounds incredibly sweet but don’t forget that that could all be an act to get you to sleep with him. Don’t shut him out completely though, just kinda slowly test the waters but stay in the shallow part if you know what I’m getting at”, Mara threw in and started wiggling her eyebrows suggestively. I wasn’t entirely sure I knew what she meant but I also didn’t know if I wanted an explicit explanation on what she considered the shallow part to be exactly.

“And if you really need to get laid to get it out of your system, I have some people in your area I can hook you up with, literally”, Lisa threw in and if there wasn’t a screen between us, I’d have smacked her across the head.

I decided to not have a lazy Sunday for once, as I’d literally had lazy days for almost two weeks straight. Instead I grabbed measuring tape and walked into the second living room, soon to be my office. For the next three hours I was busy measuring everything and slowly putting together a plan on my tablet while also cursing the US customary system of units. I had lived the last seven years in the US and while I had gotten used to the seemingly random numbers over time, I was still convinced that it was only implemented to fuck with people.

The room was thankfully big enough to fit a medium-sized conference table that I’d need and my own desk without feeling crowded. The big windows weren’t optimal because of the computer screens, but they were facing north at least. They would also help to not make this room look like a bunker once I finally had everything I needed.

Happy with the work I had done I finally relaxed on my couch with Yogi curled up on top of me. I was full on prepared to spend the rest of my day with him like this, but Tyler had other plans. We’d only met half a week ago and seen each other every day since, mostly out of his initiative and today would apparently be no different. He asked me if I wanted to watch some movies ‘with the children’ and I invited him over to my place along with the dogs.

Ten minutes later he was standing at my door in shorts and a deliciously tight t shirt, the dogs excitedly circling his legs before greeting me enthusiastically. Afterwards I leaned up to hug him while he joked that I only liked him for the dogs.

“It’s a big part I’m not gonna lie”, I teased and ushered him inside where our children were already running around and playing with each other. They got along so well and it was a very cute sight to see.

“Your place looks really beautiful by the way, you have a great taste for this stuff”, he commented, picking up a throw pillow from the couch to inspect it further. It wasn’t the first time he’d been to my house, but last time he had only really focused on the kitchen because we were both really hungry.

I took him on a little tour around the house and pointed out different things along the way while we updated each other on any possible news.

“This is going to be the office but it doesn’t look like much right now, I have to go and buy all of the stuff that I need sometime this week so don’t judge me”

“I’m not judging but if you need some help I can come with you. I think I have a noon practice when you’re getting lunch with the girls so you can come with them to the arena after and I can take you”, he offered and I mentally had a slack jaw out of surprise. This was nothing like the Tyler that was always portrayed in the media, but I wasn’t sure if it was an act like Mara said or if he was being genuine. I needed to be careful but at the same time I really wanted to figure out why he bothered being so nice with me.

The dogs were following us around of course and I picked up Yogi and carried him upstairs, explaining to Tyler that he was scared of stairs for some reason. He insisted on getting to carry Yogi back downstairs because he thought it was cute. We also kept stopping because he asked me all kinds of questions and demanded stories to most pictures so by the time we finished the tour my stomach was already announcing that it was time for dinner.

“What do you want to eat?”, I asked him once we were back in my kitchen.

“Don’t tell on me but I’ve been craving pizza all day”, he responded and I laughed because he might be 27 but from what I’ve learned so far he’d have the eating habits of a five year old if he could.

“Am I going to get you in trouble if I make us some?”, I asked, already mentally checking if I had all of the needed ingredients in the house.

“You’re going to make me pizza? I was actually thinking of just ordering some but now there’s no way I’m turning that down so it’s going to have to be our secret, I guess”

“I’m not going to make you pizza, we are going to make pizza for the both of us because I really think it’s about time you learn how to make anything besides grilled cheese”, I chided him on his terrible cooking skills. It was a mystery how he’d survived so long without barely any basic knowledge in the kitchen, but I was planning to change that from now on.

I was currently both enjoying and regretting that decision at the same time.

I leaned against the kitchen island next to Tyler, trying not to drool over the way his big hands were working on the dough. I could see his muscles working under that tight shirt and honestly kneading pizza dough should not be this sexy, but Tyler somehow made my thoughts go in directions that were anything but appropriate.

“Can you get my hair out of my face? There’s this one strand that just keeps fucking with me”, he cursed and I laughed, softly reaching up to help him out. He wasn’t wearing a snapback tonight and his hair was all over the place by now, which was kind of cute but also definitely kind of hot. At this point my body didn’t know how to react anymore.

I was taking pictures of him ‘to commemorate these first steps’ and while I couldn’t exactly post any on social media without causing a shitstorm, I sent some of them to the girls, making the groupchat explode with messages. Tyler made me film him and add it to his insta story so he could show off his new skill to the world

Gerry and Yogi joined us on the couch while we waited for the dough to rise. Cash was sprawled out on the floor and Marshall had made himself comfortable on Yogi’s bed. I let Tyler pick out a movie while trying to make myself comfortable next to him. He had one arm resting on the back of the couch and I gradually found myself snuggling closer as the time passed. I had just put my head down on his shoulder when my timer reminded me that we had food to attend to.

I showed Tyler how to properly roll it out and then let him take over. His first try was so terrible that I found myself documenting everything again but the second time around he was doing much better already. With some help from me we soon had two near perfectly round pieces of dough ready to be turned into deliciousness.

Tyler had called me an European pizza snob when I’d told him that I didn’t have any peperoni because I didn’t like the greasy fake taste of the sausage but he let me pick out substitutes for him to add instead. Soon the smell made waiting even harder and I couldn’t concentrate on the film anymore but Tyler rubbing circles on my back probably played a part in that as well.

“You might be a snob but you know how to make pizza like damn”, he exclaimed after taking the first bite and I smiled proudly. America had much to learn when it came to pizza and I was more than happy to broaden his horizon in that department.

“That’s why I try to avoid most Italian restaurants here, the food there doesn’t taste the way it’s supposed to and American lasagna is a disgrace to the Italian masterpiece “

“Like I said, snob”

Afterwards we were cuddled up on the couch again and Tyler let me pick out the next movie. I desperately tried to avoid anything with romance or sex in it because I wasn’t sure I could handle that with him so close to me right now. I was leaning against the armrest and this time Tyler was using my lap as a pillow. I tried to stop myself but eventually gave in and started to weave my hand through his hair, softly stroking his head.

He let out a low hum of pleasure and I couldn’t help the direction my thoughts were now going. This much sexual tension was not normal, was it?

“Now I know why my dogs like you so much, you give the best head scratches, especially with those long nails”, he said and I laughed softly, not knowing what to respond instead.

Halfway through the movie I fully lied down and Tyler put his head right below my boobs, wrapping an arm around my body. Now we were both fully reclined on my couch and he had to rest some of his weight on me so we could both fit but I didn’t mind. I kept my hand in his hair at first but eventually moved downwards, slowly and lightly raking my nails across his back the way I knew guys loved.

“Fuck, this feels so good”, he murmured against me and my mind went straight back to the gutter again. How could it not when he was saying stuff like that?!

By the end of the movie I was close to passing out and Tyler wasn’t any different. He slowly untangled himself from me and then called for his dogs, who had fallen asleep already. He thanked me for the pizza and everything else and then he was out the door, leaving me to fall into a peaceful slumber, my dreams filled with images of him.

On Monday a package arrived for me, even though I hadn’t ordered anything lately. I was suspicious to open it but was rewarded with a new pair of the Givenchy slides Gerry had ruined. There was even a note attached that read:

Still sorry that Gerry chewed on your shoes but I’m also happy I got to meet you because of that

-Tyler

The gesture was so sweet that I couldn’t stop smiling for the next couple of hours. I sent a picture of me wearing them to Tyler, thanking him for the present and another picture of the note to the girls, who were of course freaking out again.

The day after that Tyler texted me to see if I was up for an adventure after he finished his workout at noon, an invitation I’d never turn down.

Tyler: It’s not dog-friendly, but you’re going to love the aquarium here it’s awesome

He told me that one of his friends could watch the dogs, the same one who would sometimes watch them whenever he had to go on roadtrips during the season. He said that this way we wouldn’t have to rush through and could grab a bite to eat afterwards as well. His offer was hard to turn down, so I agreed and quickly showered before picking out a cute outfit and leaving to pick him up. It was time to get some more kilometers on my new car.

“Nice car, is that the SQ5?”, Tyler whistled as I parked in his driveway to let Yogi out, who immediately ran ahead to greet him.

“Get your facts straight dude, that’s the SQ8. I thought you were into cars?”, I teased and stood up un my tippy toes to hug him.

“I am but I never really got into Audis, although looking at that I might have to”, he responded grinning and I lightly swatted at his chest before walking inside where his friend was already waiting. I’d brought stuff for Yogi and made sure that he was comfortable before we said our goodbyes and left. We pulled out on the driveway and Tyler typed in the address of the aquarium.

I let him select one of his playlists and was surprised to hear Justin Bieber blasting through my speakers. This guy was truly unpredictable. It was quite the sight to see this 200-pound, burly and bearded guy loudly singing along and knowing all the words to ‘Love Yourself’ but the hilarity of it had me in tears soon enough. His song choices kept surprising me until we finally pulled into the parking lot. I locked the car and turned around to see Tyler looking at me as if he was trying to figure something out.

“I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, but how are you affording all of this? You live in our neighborhood, you wear 200$ slides to the dog park and you drive a car that I’m pretty sure costs well over 100 grand. Do you make this much from developing apps only or is there a side business that you haven’t told me about yet?”, he asked curiously and I mentally flinched.

I didn’t mind talking about money with Tyler per se, he was well off himself for all that mattered, but I always got embarrassed talking about my past. However, if I had to talk about the way I had made loads of money, I might as well do it with somebody who was racking in large sums as well. His life was crazy enough that he might understand me.

“Do you want the short answer or the full story?”

“The full story of course. I got all day baby”, he tried to lighten the mood and I had to laugh at the pet name.

“Consider this your heads up though, it gets kind of crazy at some points”, I warned, before starting at the beginning.

Part Four here

[baymaxbarbie]

<·°·> May 30, 2017

°°°Hours Fasted: 15 hours, broken with iced matcha

°°°Days without binging: 0

<·°·> Intake:

11:15 A.M

°1 water bottle (16.9 oz) of Ceremonial Grade Matcha, chilled, with 1 packet splenda

····Total: 0 cal

12 P.M

°1/2 water bottle (8.4 oz) of water flavored with Mio

····Total: 0 cal

1:30 P.M

°Starbucks Shaken Passion Tango Tea Lemonade, Unsweetened, Venti

····Total: 70 cal

3:25 P.M

°Tuna, Veggie, Egg Bowl:

-1 packet Sundried Tomato Tuna (170 cal)

-1 packet Light Tuna (70 cal)

-1 boiled egg (78 cal)

-1/3 cup frozen spinach (12.5 cal)

-1/3 cup frozen okra (13 cal)

-1/3 cup tomato and basil sauce (26.5)

°1 water bottle (16.9 oz) of water flavored with Mio

····Total: 370 cal

6:30 P.M

°1/2 cup vanilla ice cream

····Total: 130 cal

9:40 P.M (*BINGE*)

°1 bag of frozen peaches (150 cal)

°1/8 of coconut tofu (13 cal)

····Total: 163 cal

<·°·> Total Daily Intake: 733 cal

<°·°> Exercise: 45 minutes on stationary bike, 491 cal

<^> Notes: Bad day bad day bad day!! Many frequent dives into depressive mood, with one slightly high mood followed by an almost immediate crash. A group brought ice cream during presentations in Japanese class today, so of course my fat ass had to have some. Then after a high period, I crashed into a down, and the binge urge was at a 7/5. I almost started crying with how much I wanted to stuff my face. Of course this was when I had to go shopping, because I had no fruit at home to make smoothies with, or any drinks, and would have only be drinking matcha (0 cal), mio water (0 cal), and sparingly cashewmilk (60 cal), and would have been way under cal goal for the rest of the week. Which isn't that bad but still, trying to be a bit healthy with this. So I'm walking past all my binge foods: chips, pretzels, bread, pastries. And I'm miserable. And I know that even when the urge dies down just a bit, I'll go home and smell/see the dinner my aunt cooked and eat it, then probably the junk stash that's in the cabnet. But I managed to avoid it by leaving the kitchen as quick as possible, and grabbing a bag of frozen peaches instead cause I knew logically the sweetness and texture would satisfy the craving. It did, and I managed to avoid a real big deviation (my binges are usually 1000+ cal), while staying comfortably within my cal limit, but I'm still fucking pissed I'm so weak. I woke up to a great loss this morning but something in my brain hates me so much that I wanted to sabotage myself. Well fuck you right back atcha.

Current Thinspo: Jude Karda

[fenrirgraves]

A “should we know us a little better” tag

RULES: you must answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people

Tagged by @thatdorktori​ (Thank you so much friend!  I LOVE these!)

THE LAST:

1. Drink: Water, with fruit punch Crystal Light in it

2. Phone call: My grandparents; Nana and Papa.  They’re the best <3

3. Text message: My mom

4. Song you listened to: Since I’m playing Dark Souls 3, it’d be “Soul of Cinder: Phase 2″

5. Time you cried: Pretty sure I wake up with tears in my eyes daily because my dreams really touch my heart...but last time I genuinely cried?  Few weeks ago, I think.  Hard to say.

6. Dated someone twice: Yeah

7. Kissed someone and regretted it: Negatory

8. Been cheated on: Unfortunately

9. Lost someone special: Sadly

10. Been depressed: For over 7 years now.  Had a few suicide attempts...bad territory.  But I’m always willing to share, talk, help, and compare metaphorical scars.  There’s always someone who loves you.  

11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: Yep, first time, only time.  Never gonna do it again

LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:

12-14: Blue, black, gray

IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:

15. Made new friends: Certainly!

16. Fallen out of love: Nope

17. Laughed until you cried: I believe so.  

18. Found out someone was talking about you: You bet

19. Met someone who changed you: Absolutely, in very good ways.

20. Found out who your friends are: Big time

21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: Without a doubt

GENERAL:

22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: Nearly all of them.  Some are musicians in bands I like that I’ve made friends with.

23. Do you have any pets: Yes and no.  No pets in my home, my mom is allergic.  BUT Nana and Papa have three cats...Scottie, BG (Beautiful Girl), and Namine.  I also consider my buddy Don’s cat, Striborg, to be my pet, as well as my friend Dan’s cat, Link.

24. Do you want to change your name: Wouldn’t be out of the question.

25. What did you do for your last Birthday: Went to a Brazilian Steakhouse with Kairi, had my first legal drink, got ice cream, came home, and cuddled and snuggled

26. What time did you wake up: Today?  Like...5

27. What were you doing at midnight last night: Playin’ Dark Souls 3

28. Name something you can’t wait for: FYWROK (Fuck You We Rule O K) trip!  Weekend-long punk fest in Tulsa, Oklahoma.  Going with my best buds, Don and Kelly, leaving on Tuesday!  

29. When was the last time you saw your mom: Few hours ago before she went to bed

30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: The mistakes I made with Kairi.  I hope that damage can be healed...

31. What are you listening right now: The fan in my room whirring, the birds outside waking up and chirping

32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: My dad was named Tom, and I have a friend in Fredonia named Tom.

33. Something that is getting on your nerves: My actions in the last year

34. Most visited Website: YouTube n’ Tumblr

35. Mole/s: Skin tag right around my armpit, that’s about it.  Had two moles removed though, from the left side of my neck.

36. Mark/s: Nothing really, but I have a cool scar on my elbow the looks like the Quake logo!

37. Childhood dream: To enjoy life to its fullest and not be bogged down but the world

38. Hair color: Naturally? Normal brown.  Currently?  Green.  In a few days?  Red and black

39. Long or short hair: Normally on the shorter side, but my I’m working on that depression growth.  Gonna swing by my buddy Gabe’s place before FYWROK to get it cut.  If my hair was straight I’d grow that shit the fuck out, but it’s curly and...bleh.

40. Do you have a crush on someone: Technically yes, technically no.

41. What do you like about yourself: I’m smart, witty, charismatic, have great music taste...and I know good food.

42. Piercings: Nay

43. Bloodtype: UGH I had to trek ALL THE FUCKING WAY across my room to get my donor’s card... A-

44. Nickname: Sora

45. Relationship status: Single off of a 4 year relationship as of a few months ago...it’s complicated, but bottom line, we both needed a break, time to grow and develop ourselves.  I took her for granted, did a number on her even though she loved me passionately still...and we just needed time apart.  But everyone in my life believe that it’s real, and we can indeed make it happen again after we heal.

46. Zodiac: Capricorn

47. Pronouns: He/Him

48. Favorite TV Show: Something current?  Black Mirror

49. Tattoos: Nothing yet, but once I have those dolla dolla bills, you bet your ass

50. Right or left hand: Right

51. Surgery: On my wisdom teeth last year...and on my balls in 2011.  Testicular torsion.  Worst.Shit.Ever.

52. Piercing: You asked this 10 questions ago

53. Sport: Olympic nothingness

55. Vacation: Anything, anytime, anywhere.

56. Pair of trainers: Boy I go barefoot, come on now

MORE GENERAL:

57. Eating: Stinger Sub from Picasso’s 

58. Drinking: Nothing, currently

59. I’m about to: Eat some more

61. Waiting for: The inevitable sweet release of death

62. Want: Kairi

63. Get married: One day

64. Career: I’ll take it under advisement, forward that to my secretary.  I’ll get back to you on that.

WHICH IS BETTER?:

65. Hugs or kisses: THEY’RE EQUAL

66. Lips or eyes: Eyes.  They capture my soul.

67. Shorter or taller: Don’t really care

68. Older or younger: Doesn’t matter

70. Nice arms or nice stomach: Boy really now?

71. Sensitive or loud: Both, depends on the situation, boss

72. Hook up or relationship: Relationship, definitely.

73. Troublemaker or hesitant: Troublemaker, no doubt.  I’m not as bad as some of my friends, but regardless, my halo is a tarnished pinhole.

HAVE YOU EVER:

74. Kissed a stranger: Indeed

75. Drank hard liquor: I prefer it to beer

76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: Nope, somehow I manage good track of that shit

77. Turned someone down: I think so?  Not sure.  I’m kinda particular.

78. Sex in the first date: Definitely not.

79. Broken someones heart: As much as I hate to admit it, I know indeed that I have

80. Had your heart broken: Shattered

81. Been arrested: Technically.  I was 15, almost got charged with petty larceny.  Nice.

82. Cried when someone died: No doubt

83. Fallen for a friend: Yep

DO YOU BELIEVE IN:

84. Yourself: I try my best to

85. Miracles: You sexy thing

86. Love at first sight: Not love, but definitely the beginnings

87. Santa Claus: Y E S

88. Kiss in the first date: If it is appropriate, then yes

89. Angels: There are indeed some girls out there who are

OTHER:

90. Current best friends name: Don and Kelly

91. Eyecolor: Brown like mud! <3

92. Favorite movie: Mr. Nobody (Extended Cut of course)

Sorry to disappoint but I don’t know 20 people that I can tag that’d do this, so I’ll throw one at this boy @waffle--kun, because he loves this shit as much as I do.

As for the rest...

ANYONE ELSE WHO WANTS TO DO THIS CAN CONSIDER THEMSELVES TAGGED!

[jumperlink2-blog]

MORE JAW DRAMA…LIKE IT’S ALWAYS SOMETHING

MICHAEL SAID IF HE HEARS THE WORD JAW ONE MORE TIME WE MAY DIVORCE.

Lol.

But seriously, I am sick of it too. Such a drag.

So basically as you guys know, I had double jaw surgery about 4-ish years ago. Well, recently I realized that my lymphatic system in my face wasn’t draining properly- this was causing me to swell up like a balloon any time I stepped on a plane, traveled to higher altitude, &/or drank too much alcohol. Even salt! Like forget it- one too many grams of salt & I was immediately Fat Bastard.

I was over it. Personally, I became convinced that the reason I was swelling so much was because of the screws & plates in my face. I mean it can’t be GOOD for you to have metal in your face blocking your flow. My acupuncturist told me this too- he said the screws/plates from double jaw surgery were JUST BAD. Especially because it goes against everything Chinese medicine says.

So I said to myself “fuck it- I want this shit out!”

MY JAW SITUATION

If you can’t tell, when I get my head stuck on something, I get my head stuck on something. I couldn’t let it go.

So I found a jaw surgeon in LA ( as you know we recently moved from San Diego to Los Angeles ) & immediately booked an appointment. It all went well. We didn’t remove every single screw but the majority of them. Immediately after surgery I SWELLED RIGHT THE FUCK UP. Which is to be expected- it happens after an invasive surgery. But now, 3 weeks later, I am feeling better…& I should add: more contoured & less swollen than before the surgery. WHICH WE LOVE.

You could definitely say it was a success…& I am convinced my theory was right.

Anyway, so that’s my jaw drama. & while we are at it- let’s talk tips to fight inflammation because boy I am the fucking queen of that. AHEM:

♡ Watermelon juice!!!

Watermelon juice was my main request because it’s non-acidic. I like to add a TON of lime too. Lime is acidic but turns alkaline in the body. So watermelon x lime is just fucking gold. I’ve been chugging it like a sorority sister chugs Jungle Juice at a frat mixer. Watermelon juice is just perfect in every way. Go for the juicy red flesh at the center of a watermelon because it’s the only nutrient-rich area, forget the white part. The white part sucks, kinda. Some other benefits: watermelon is great for blood flow, it’s anti-inflammatory ( perfect for surgery ), & has TONS of vitamins and minerals. ALSO IT’S A DIURETIC. Cleans you out. Bottoms up!

♡ Next up, Mr. raw coconut juice.

I like this baby for its electrolytes. Raw coconut water is filled with electrolytes which REALLY boosts hydration. Hydration is key in sickness recovery. I always search for the pink coconut waters because supposedly they contain more antioxidants. This one is my favorite brand by far! Love it when it’s a baby pink mixture ( this happens only sometimes depending on the coconuts they get ).

♡ Heyyyy Kefir!

Since I had to take some more antibiotics for this surgery, I needed something with probiotics to coat my stomach. This kefir smoothie makes all the difference. Kefir is a whole different blog post but basically it’s “a sour-tasting drink made from cow’s milk fermented with certain bacteria. Also, a great source of probiotic bacteria and yeast, and requires daily maintenance, if using milk kefir grains. It is generally more sour in flavor and of a pourable consistency. Milk kefir may also be used in many, many recipes.” When I take antibiotics I ALWAYS balance it out with a probiotic. This is why kefir is amaze; it balances the antibiotic out by promoting good bacteria. This smoothie is simple. Nothing crazy because I definitely don’t want to shock my system.

♡♡♡��TSC Kefir Probiotic Smoothie

1 banana 1 cup kefir Handful of kale 1 splash almond milk Handful of ice Top with cinnamon ( << an anti-inflammatory )

Directions: blend. Garnish with cinnamon & cheers!

♡ Now let’s talk about liquid gold!

A full blown Vitamin C juice!! My favorite…orange/carrot/ginger/turmeric. SO healing for the system when you’re in recovery ( or on any day ). The orange relieves constipation, is full of potassium, & again, turns alkaline in the system ( so it’s essentially NON acidic ). The crunchy powerfood carrot does wonders: they’re full of fiber & literally flush nasty-ass toxins from the body. SO cleansing. Ginger, one of my favorites, is a real life saver because it takes away nausea. And typically surgery brings on nausea, yuck. Ginger also reduces gas, has a warming effect, & stimulates circulation. Lastly turmeric root!!! My home girl. Turmeric ( like real turmeric. Ever seen it at the grocery store? It looks like a sick bug. You can actually buy it online too ) is the shit in juices. Turmeric root is INSANE for inflammation. I’ve been shooting it in shot glasses #rebel.

♡ ICE ROLL THE FUCK OUTTA YOUR FACE.

Here’s the deal. I’ve been doing ice facials since Sonja Morgan from RHONY recommended them after a brutal hangover circa 2014-ish when noble Countess Luann was yelling at Heather Yummie Tummie about being ‘uncool.’ It really wasn’t until my brutal jaw surgery that I discovered the IT beauty tip of 2016 ( AKA MY LIFE LINE ). IT FIGHTS INFLAMMATION- I DO IT EVERY MORNING. TRUST ME.

Let me set the scene, years ago: I was actively perusing Amazon ( SHOCKING, this is something I do on the regular ) & was searching ‘jaw surgery book.’ Weirdly, an ice roller popped up.

So I was like, “umm, yes. This will make life easier PLUS give me a little lymphatic drainage while I’m rolling downward on my swollen jaw.”

Added to cart……..& then shit, the rest is history.

Not only did I fall absolutely HEAD OVER HEELS in love with my ice roller ( I use the white roller with a blue handle ), I also entered into a committed relationship with my ice roller. Like I said: I use it every ( EVERY ) day, once sometimes twice a day for as long as it’s cold ( usually 2 to 3 minutes per time ). In fact, I’m grumpy if I don’t get to use it first thing in the AM! Bye swelling.

♡ Lastly: TEA.

This one isn’t really too healthy but it’s keeping me refreshed. I get a large Starbucks iced green tea with two splashes of passion fruit & no sweetener. Obviously this isn’t like organic, homegrown, gold star tea BUT it’s cold on my throat & feels good plus it forces me to drink more water. And well, I just like it. Also, I’ve definitely been sneaking some mint chocolate chip ice cream because ‘help me, I’m sick.’ If you’re so healthy, lucky you, drink organic Numi green tea & skip the iced Starbucks.

♡ Oh, & another one not pictured:

I HAVE BEEN CHUGGING OWL VENICE BONE BROTH IN DISGUSTING AMOUNTS. I’ve been told it’s the best thing you can put in your system BEFORE & AFTER surgery. I add lemon & seriously GULP, GULP, GULP. A post on the broth can be found here.

ALSO: using Valor oil, taking massive amounts of arnica & turmeric ( I AM OBSESSED WITH TRUVANI’S TURMERIC TABLETS because they’re real deal turmeric with black pepper- I take them all the time ), using TONS OF ICE for ice facials ( which has helped me the most, especially this specific ice roller ), dry brushing, detoxing, juicing, applying real aloe vera/raw coconut oil, & also I’m really trying to avoid salt. ANY OTHER TIPS? Please share.

Before we go I also want to discuss pros of having double surgery in the first place because it seems like it’s been an on-going thing. Also this is important because I receive a lot of DM’s on questions about the initial surgery:

SO PROS OF MY JAW SURGERY:

+ I feel balanced now. I felt out of whack/alignment for my whole life. Towards the end I started to get used to being uncomfortable. Now I feel at peace. This is me now ( still have a long way to go, but this is without photo editing & no makeup- you can’t edit on Snapchat ). Swollen still, but coming down.

+ I haven’t been grinding my teeth AT ALL. This is huge for me because I’ve been grinding my teeth every night of my life to the point where Michael couldn’t sleep.

+ I haven’t snored once. This is another big one because I sounded like a freaking wildebeest when I was sleeping. Now I sleep like a baby without waking up in the middle of night…& Michael can sleep peacefully. This is AMAZING.

+ My bite fits together. Before I could only chew on one side of my mouth & my bite never fit together. Now my teeth fit together like a perfect puzzle piece & my mid-line is on point.

+ No more headaches, cracking my neck, or anxiety around my neck. I would also try to fix my bite myself by holding my jaw in the proper place. Because the issue was skeletal, it put major anxiety in my shoulders & neck. This feeling is gone, gone, gone.

+ Michael has literally seen me at my lowest point looks-wise, so I’m thinking he’s a keeper….LOL.

+ Lastly, my cheekbones look a little higher. A vain plus, but hey it’s a plus.

So that’s that. Thought I would share the process with you guys because you know I like to get specific.

I am off to eat a sourdough peanut butter & jelly sandwich because I got food poisoning last night. The culprit was either bad shrimp or bad cauliflower rice- you decide. If anyone has any food poisoning tips, I am all ears because man, do I feel queasy. Like I said- it’s always something! LOL.

HOPE YOU’RE ALL HAVING A PRODUCTIVE WEEK. See you tomorrow, lauryn x

+ to read more about my jaw surgery experience check out my other jaw surgery posts: still swollen | jaw surgery | finding energy after surgery

++ for more posts on how to recover from jaw surgery: facial massage | Gua Sha | cryotherapy | how to lymphatic drainage

Source: https://www.theskinnyconfidential.com/double-jaw-surgery/

[fragiilexa]

all of the fruit questions thank u

send me a fruit

bless mah fave for sending all of them in ohym god *heart eyes*

peach: do you have any piercings or tattoos?

anyway im doin me & lila bc she wants too do this tOO ok ok bless, but I have no tattoos *eyeroll* but i want them bc !! tattoos !! are cute !! i luhv them !! but I’m also hella indecisive so I’m nervous about it, but I definitely want some and only my ears are pierced ( once ) but I never put them in cauSE IM LAZY tbh

“ Uh, I lost count of my tattoos but it’s over fifteen, and I have my ears pierced and like, five on my left, two on the other. I had my nose pierced before but that got boring, my belly button was pierced for a while too but I took it out uh... I wanted to get my nipples pierced once when I was drunk but a friend talked me out of it... still kinda wanna do it though... like, why not y’know? Is yolo still a thing? Yolo. “ 

raspberry: favorite flower?

Probably Tulips, or Roses?

“ Dasies ‘cause I like to make daisy chains, but also Dahlia’s and Water Lily’s. “

lemon: do you have any pets? what are their names?

Four lovely kitties, Jasper, Jake, Kelso & then we got Hunter. 

“ Yuki, obviously, he’s fan-fucking-tastic, and then Stitch who’s a tiny little angel in a snoring bundle of excess skin and snorts. “ 

mango: what is your trademark?

Being the Mom Friend™ & also probably Princess of Puns™

“ Problematic Fave™ and, we can all admit it, Cotton Candy Princess™ cause that’s mah thing. “

passion fruit: how would you describe your style?

My style is ‘I can’t afford my real style & barely have a sense of style & i mostly just wear leggings and a t-shirt unless I go out but when I go out i try’ style, but I’m also trying to be more confident in my style too, hence my new bathing suit, but we’ll see how that goes lmao

“ My style is probably hipster-esque, but like not, cause I’m not a hipster, I’m not I just like cute clothes and I like skirts and I like being princess looking sometimes but then other times I don’t give a shit if I look like a gross monster that came out from under your bed. Sometimes, but mostly, skirts and, cute and kind of expensive but not ‘shiny jewelry’ type of expensive like ‘if you touch this skirt i’ll murder you ‘cause I spent my entire check on it’ type of expensive. It’s either all or nothing basically. “

pineapple: sexual orientation?

there are too many pretty ppl in the world how could i possibly narrow that down

“ Same -I’m with her. “ 

strawberry: favorite desserts?

Hm, I dunno like, Milkshakes are great? I love all desserts equally?? I dunno. 

“ If I’m lucky whoever I’m eating dinner with a the time. - but no, actually there’s this strawberry icecream, unicorn thing at this ice cream bar across from my work and it’s the best thing, it’s got gold flakes in it, GOLD FLAKES, and rainbow sprinkles. It’s fucking fantastic. “ 

cherry: can you play any musical instruments or can you sing?

Nah I tried to learn the guitar once and I got too distracted & uninspired ‘cause I felt dumb & also no, no i can not but I trY on a daily basis.

“ Mah fam, my friend, of course I do. I play piano, guitar and a little of the uke, and, you... I mean, duh, I mean I’m not trying to brag but also yes I can sing, I love to sing I can sing right now if you want me too. “ 

grape: if you could take a vacation anywhere in the world, where would you go?

Disney World, but also I want to go to the Netherlands really badly too.

“ Probably some island somewhere where I can just fall asleep in a hammock and walk around naked without people yelling at me to cover up ‘cause like, yes. But also I really wanted to go to italy and also to niagra falls ‘cause I’ve never been there and it just looks cool. “ 

banana: favorite horror movies?

I don’t like gory horror movies, but I like bettlejuice, the conjuring, suspenseful thrillers, though I can’t name many right now.

“ Whats the one with the people who die in the woods? The Blair Witch Project. That one freaks me out, that and Halloween. “ 

blackberry: is your life an action film, a comedy, a romantic comedy, or drama?

Right now? Drama, I’d much rather have a rom com though.

“ Drama. “ 

pomegranate: when do you feel the most confident?

After a shower or a workout or something like that when I’m really just concentrating on myself in a positive way & helping myself is when I feel most confident, when I’m too in my head things go downhill tbqh.

“ After singing. “

cantaloupe: what are your parents' names?

Fun fact: both their middle names are Lee.

“ Nickolas and Anna... “

guava: dark & dramatic makeup or natural makeup?

I WOULD IF I COULD i don’t know how to do makeup properly I never taught myself/was taught so definitely just natural, out of habit & lack of knowledge.

“ Depends on the time of day but I love wearing darker stuff at night ‘cause it’s fun. “ 

tangelo: if you could be any mythical creature, which would you be?

A Unicorn or a Werewolf ‘cause I love wolves & I would luv to run around & have a fluffy tail & a cute nose & also be intimidating AF but then again I’d love to be a Unicorn because basically they’re perfect & can heal sickness & are magical.

“ A fairy, but like, a cool one, not like tinkerbell, well, like tinkerbell but also cool & mysterious. “

plum: favorite clothing brands?

Whatever fits, but I’d love to try Forever 21 Plus ‘cause they seem to have cute things, but I dunno, legit whatever fits me & looks cute.

“ Uh, I never look at the labels on things.. is that bad? Mostly it’s cause like, I’m drunk when I get my clothes, sometimes... mostly... but... yeah.. I dunno I should look into that more. “ 

coconut: favorite perfume?

The only one I ever use is Wonderstruck by Taylor Swift ??? I had another one but I lost it lmao

“ Okay so theres this sephora cotton candy perfume that I always use and it’ll be the death of me ‘cause it costs too much money but I love it and I love cotton candy don’t smelling things, don’t judge me. “

lychee: satin or lace?

Lace. Lace lacel alcadle lcae lace. all dah lace i love lace lace is s prett yi luv it so muc hsdogmrgefhrhsrgbetfhdrfs

“ l a c e. “ 

blueberry: what do you want to dress up as for halloween?

I never know what to dress up as, I haven’t in years :(

“ This year? That’s too far ahead I figure that stuff out like the night before. “ 

apple: what do you use more, tumblr or twitter?

Tumblr, but I’ve been using twitter more recently, or trying to anyways.

“ Twitter. “

kiwi: what's something that fascinates you?

God, Aliens, The Universe, Dogs, People, Music, Art, everything basically.

“ Uh.... how the internet works.... never really figured that out, I just go with it. Kinda freaks me out if I’m drunk and thinking about it. “ 

watermelon: do you have a job? if so, what is your job title?

Not ATM no I don’t :/

“ I work two jobs right now... sort of, I work as a waitress part-ish time and then I work at a florist shop right now but I dunno. I’m also trying to write this dumb fucking album but it’s not going well. My job title is failure. “ 

papaya: what song describes your aesthetic?

I Was Here by Beyonce

“ Probably uh, Big Girls Don’t Cry by Fergie? “ 

cranberry: favorite time of the day; morning, afternoon, dusk, or night?

Definitely night, but also recently afternoon cause I miss the sun.

“ Nighttime. “ 

nectarine: would you consider yourself an emotional person?

Very, but sometimes it’s hard for me to uh, get that across, sometimes, unless I’m overwhelmed then I’m like, crying, it depends. I’m weird, but yes.

“ Not that I really wanna be, but yeah sort of. “ 

orange: do you have long eyelashes?

I guess? Yes?

“ Yah, and I got freckles, did you know that? They’re great. “ 

apricot: what do you do when you're sad?

Either listen to sad music & let myself feel it or try to listen to happy music & be happy, mostly I take baths, or watch Mary Poppins, I try to talk to friends, I dunno it’s hard it depends on what kind of sad I am.

“ I er, retreat & I make blanket fort and I only invite Yuki & Stitch and I eat lots of ice cream. “ 

star fruit: favorite sea creature?

I really loveeee Dory, but also I love starfish? Starfish and Sea Otters, and um Whales, also Dolphins... I love them all okay? Ok.

“ Mermaids man, they’re out there okay? “

dragonfruit: do you drink alcohol?

I can, but I haven’t, but I wanna see Lila’s reaction to this....

“ AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAy e a hHAHHAHAHAHA HAH AH AH HA HAH AH AH 

           A HA HAH A H AH 

                     HAH AH H  

                                        H                    A. “