#and the makeup and outfits for each family member was being judged

[mangosmoothiepussyv3]

had a rlly weird dream but i made out with edward elric and fucked sidon (who were brothers for some reason???? and ed was trans)

so i think its gonna be a nice day :>

[leejungchans]

— wifey.

word count: 1.7k

warning(s): none!!

genre: fluff, humour

notes: obviously i don’t know what went on backstage at the sma/award shows in general, especially with the special arrangements of award shows in the past two years due to you-know-what, so this is mainly based on my own interpretation/imagination!!

set during january 31, 2021

summary: juliet tells one of her closest friends her secret backstage at the seoul music awards.

juliet’s masterlist | ask game

ryujinnie 🙄💖 [19:16] do you wanna stop by and chat? 🥺

juliet 🤍 [19:17] didn’t we just talk on the phone yesterday? i didn’t know you wanted to see me this much 😼

ryujinnie 🙄💖 [19:17] ...never mind 🚪🚶🏻‍♀️

juliet 🤍 [19:17] no wait i’m joking come back wifey 🥺🥺🥺🥺 what number is your dressing room?

“Unnie,” Juliet calls out to her manager, “can I go see Ryujin at ITZY’s dressing room? I won’t be long.”

Despite wearing a mask, Juliet can tell that the older woman is smiling from the way her eyes curve up into crescents. “Sure, I don’t think you guys have to be on stage for a while. I’ll text you if something comes up and you need to be back here.”

“Okay! Thanks, unnie!” Juliet says before grabbing her phone and putting on her mask. She passes by San on her way to the door and takes the opportunity to pat him on the head.

He looks up from his phone to find the maknae grinning down at him. “Who are you off to bother now?” he jokes.

She gasps, feigning offence as she places a hand over her heart. “Excuse you! It’s not my fault people want to see me!”

San rolls his eyes. “Okay, Miss Popular, I’m not going to hold you back any longer then. Be careful!”

“Careful is my middle name.”

“Says the person who almost tripped on the red carpet earlier.”

“...Definitely Wooyoungie-oppa’s fault.”

An indignant squawk comes from somewhere else in the room. “No, it wasn’t and you know it!”

San groans playfully. “I hate our family.”

“No, you don’t.”

“No, I don’t.”

Giggling at their banter, Juliet heads out into the hallway of the venue, bowing to the various passing staff members as she looks for ITZY’s dressing room.

She doesn’t miss the screens located on the walls showing SEVENTEEN receiving their bonsang, and she stops momentarily to watch their speech while smiling to herself, heart swelling at how happy she is for them (and specifically, her boyfriend).

When Juliet finally finds her friend in an empty hallway, leaning against the wall next to a door which she assumes leads to ITZY’s room, she immediately runs to tackle the rapper in a back hug.

“Guess who?”

“My worst nightmare.”

Juliet pouts even though Ryujin isn’t able to see it. “You’re no fun, Jinnie.”

“And you’re very cute.”

“Damn, and I’m going to forgive you just like that,” Juliet laughs. “Nice outfit, by the way.” She takes Ryujin’s hand to spin her around as she admires the ITZY member’s all-white suit. “Very fitting for the boss that you are.”

“I knew you were in love with me!” Ryujin teases, which immediately earns her a light smack on the arm. “So, how’ve you been?”

Juliet gives her a flat stare. “We literally talked yesterday.”

“Something could’ve happened since then!” Ryujin defends. “Plus, I just like hearing from you.”

Despite feeling warm and fuzzy from her friend’s sweet words, Juliet plays along by faking a cough. “Whipped. But to answer your question, not much has happened, unless you count almost falling asleep when getting my makeup done at the shop something exciting.”

That was partly a lie. Admittedly, she had been texting Chan nonstop during the day knowing they’d be seeing each other here, but she doesn’t know how to approach the topic with Ryujin. They’re as close as can be, but how do you break the news?

“‘Hey, I’m dating someone. I don’t know if you’ve heard of his group though, it’s not like his group is a million-seller or anything!’ Like this?” she wonders aloud that morning in the dorm.

“Uh, yeah, that’s exactly how you tell someone,” Jongho deadpans from where he’s making coffee in the kitchen. “Well, maybe except the last part. Just say, ‘Hi, insert friend’s name, just wanted to share with you that I’m dating Dino from SEVENTEEN.’ Why are you being weird about this?”

“Did you seriously say ‘insert friend’s name’?”

“Yes, now answer my question.”

Juliet sluggishly rolls off the sofa to lie on the floor in a starfish position. “I don’t know...do people in our industry even tell their friends that they’re dating someone? Or do they, like, let their friends find out along with the rest of the world? Is it pretentious to tell someone just like that? Am I not being careful enough if I do that?”

Jongho frowns, sliding a mug of coffee across the counter for her to drink later before padding over to her. “I think mornings make you overthink more,” he says softly as he crouches next to the starfi—the maknae.

“Of course it wouldn’t be wise to grab a megaphone and run down the street broadcasting it, even though that wouldn’t be the stupidest thing you’ve done.” Juliet raises a leg to kick him lightly as he cackles. “But if you know that person can be trusted—wait, who exactly are you planning to tell?”

“Ryujinnie if I see her later at the award show,” Juliet replies, flailing her limbs around. “Maybe Felix? If I happen to also run into him.”

Jongho moves to sit on the floor. “Why didn’t you tell Ryujin-ssi yesterday over the phone then?”

“I don’t know...” she admits, “the topic never came up, and this doesn’t feel like news to tell over the phone.”

He flicks her head playfully. “You’re acting like you’re getting married or something.”

“Shut up, Jongho,” Juliet mutters, a faint tinge of pink forming on her cheeks.

“Anyways, both of them are people you trust, so I think it’s okay to tell them. They probably saw it coming like us and will likely be just as supportive, you don’t have to be weird about it, though that can be hard for someone like you,” he jokes.

“I will strangle you.” There’s no way he’s taking her seriously, not with one of her cheeks squished adorably against the floor.

“You can’t even crush an apple with your hands, but sure.”

At that moment, Seonghwa walks into the living room to find the two youngest members sprawled on the cold tiles. “What are you two doing down there?” he scolds, “you’re going to catch a cold!”

“Earth to Juliet!”

Juliet snaps out of her daze quick enough to register Ryujin waving a hand in front of her face. “Oh, sorry, I spaced out,” she says sheepishly.

Ryujin giggles. “I figured that, is everything okay?”

Juliet is about to respond when there is a commotion at the end of the hallway. Then she hears a familiar voice, more specifically, one belonging to a certain Boo Seungkwan.

Both girls turn their necks to find the members of SEVENTEEN walking in their direction, likely returning to their own dressing room. Before Juliet can think of a way to dig a hole to hide in, the members recognise her instantly, promptly exchanging knowing glances and letting out aye’s.

Ryujin blinks confusedly. Why are her seniors chuckling amongst themselves at the sight of the two girls chatting in the hallway? And why is her friend suddenly acting so strangely and avoiding eye contact with everyone and everything but the ground?

Her bewilderment increases tenfold as SEVENTEEN draws closer, with Juliet still looking down even when they bow to their seniors and murmur quiet greetings.

What is going on?

The answer to her question comes when the group quickens their pace and walks past the girls, laughing and sneaking glances over their shoulders as they disappear around the corner. All of them, but one.

Ryujin shuffles, awkwardly bowing to the youngest SEVENTEEN member which he returns along with a quiet “hello”. She watches in part shock and part amusement as Chan turns to her friend.

“Hi.”

Despite their masks, anyone could tell they were both smiling widely, and judging from her friend’s sparkly eyes and pink ears, Ryujin had no doubt that their relationship goes beyond a simple friendship.

“Congratulations,” Juliet tells him shyly, “I’ll be looking out for your performance later.”

The corners of Chan’s eyes crinkle even more. “Thanks, I’ll be cheering ATEEZ on too, of course. Stop by later if you have time? Seungkwannie-hyung said he misses you and Wooyoung,” he says the last part with a playful roll of his eyes.

Juliet laughs. “Okay, I’ll bring him with me later,” she promises.

Ryujin and Juliet watch Chan jog down the hallway, presumably to catch up with his members, before the former turns to her friend and clears her throat dramatically.

“Miss Juliet, is there something you want to tell me?” Ryujin asks with a wriggle of her eyebrows. “I’ve heard you mention that you’re friends with Dino-sunbaenim, but I didn’t know you two were this close?”

Juliet bites the inside of her cheek. “Promise you won’t tell?”

Sensing the serious tone in her voice, Ryujin nods solemnly. “Promise.”

Juliet leans down to whisper in the shorter girl’s ear. “We’re dating,” she says quickly before pulling away.

“Oh my God, really?”

“Shh! Not that loud! But yeah... we are.”

“I mean, that kinda crossed my mind when I witnessed your exchange just now,” Ryujin says upon looking down both ends of the hallway to ensure no one else is there. “But I thought maybe you just had a crush on him. Since when?”

“The beginning of this month.”

Ryujin nods again. “Did you tell your company?”

“Yeah. So far, only our families, members and companies know, you’re the first person I’ve told.”

The rapper’s eyes soften as she pulls Juliet into a hug. “Thank you trusting me. You two are really cute together, but I will only support this relationship on one condition.”

Juliet giggles, knowing her friend is simply joking. “Shoot.”

“Please don’t make me third-wheel you guys ever again,” Ryujin pleads. “I felt so awkward standing there while you two flirted with each other.”

“Okay, okay, I promise!”

“Now, I’d tell you to tell me everything, but it seems like there’s somewhere else you need to be,” Ryujin hints cheekily. “So you will call me tonight instead.”

Juliet beams, feeling very lucky to have such an incredible friend. “You know I will.”

“One more question—are you still my wifey, or did Dino-sunbaenim already steal you away from me?”

Juliet can’t help but laugh at how wronged Ryujin sounded before taking her friend’s hand in hers. “Don’t worry, Jinnie, you’ll always be my wifey.”

“Good to know. Now, give me your phone. There’s something I need to do.”

— bonus!!

Chan reaches the door to SEVENTEEN’s dressing room, already bracing himself for his members’ teasing that will no doubt ensue the moment he steps foot into the room.

As he reaches for the door handle, his phone lights up with a notification.

minnie 🐭❤️ [19:43] hello sunbaenim, i just wanted to let you know that she’s still my wifey 😺 please take good care of her! she can be a huge mess sometimes but you probably already knew that 😔 congratulations on the bonsang! - shin ryujin

minnie 🐭❤️ [19:43] aHa anyways 🤡 see you later!! i may be a mess but i’m your mess right 🥺🥺 also please tell seungkwannie-oppa i miss him too!!

a/n: we stan two besties 🥺🥺 please consider leaving feedback whether it’s a reblog, a reply or an ask, it would mean the absolute world to me as feedback really motivates and supports creators 🥺 and feel free to chat with me about juliet or anything else through my asks!! thank you for reading, remember i’m here for you and have a good day 💕

[sweetyyhippyy]

Part of You. Spencer Reid x OC! Character. Chapter 4.

Chapter 4: 864 days

(Not my gif.)

Summary: Bridgett brings a date to a party at Rossi’s house. Spencer gets extremely jealous and angry. While working a case with Bridgett, he says some words he doesn’t mean. He goes to Bridgett’s apartment to apologize, and those 3 little words are finally said. 

Pairing: Season 5 Spencer Reid x OC! Plus size character, Bridgett Mendez

TW: Alcohol mentions, Spencer being mean, language, I think that’s all!

Word Count: 4k

A.N.: This is season 5 Spencer, like tail end of season 5. Please reblog! Italicized words are inner thoughts. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

“So Rossi needs a headcount for how many people are coming over tonight. He said he hasn’t heard back from only you, Bridge.”

JJ says, joining Bridgett and Garcia gossiping at Bridgett’s desk.

“Oh yeah sorry, I was kinda waiting to hear from… this guy I’m bringing along tonight.”

Both of the girls eyes get wide, staring at Bridgett.

“You’re bringing someone? Who is he?! I need to know everything, now.” Penelope squeals, leaning back in her chair.

Bridgett laughs, knowing that this was going to be the hot topic of the day.

“It’s this guy I’ve been dating for like 2 weeks. His name is Angel.”

“Okay, okay, Angel. Angel and Bridgett… Bridgett and Angel. Doesn’t necessarily roll off the tongue but keep going.” Penelope says.

“I met him at the coffee shop by my apartment. It was that one morning Hotch needed us to come in at like 6am so I grabbed some coffee and they were getting a delivery while I was waiting and the delivery guy noticed me, I noticed him after the third time he passed me by. So I smiled at him and he stopped to talk to me on my way out. We've gone on a few dates and he’s really nice.”

“Just nice? Are you not completely into him?” JJ questions.

“I don’t know, he’s nice, and he is cute. But I don’t know it’s weird, I know you’re both going to say I’m selling myself short but he’s out of my league. Our connection is good when we’re together but I can’t help but think that maybe he’s just putting a front on. It’s all probably just in my head… right?”

“If it’s only been a few dates this is all still new. The both of you are trying to figure each other out. I wouldn’t discredit him just yet, sweetheart.” Penelope interjects, rubbing her shoulder in comfort.

JJ’s phone rings from her pocket, her groaning and leaving out the door to the elevator.

“Do you think it’s a good idea to bring another guy tonight? I’m not judging, I just don’t think that there’s *someone you didn’t think about.”

Bridgett knew who she was talking about as soon as she said it, and she was right, Bridgett didn’t think about Spencer.

“You don’t know for sure if Spence likes me, Penelope.”

“Um, Earth to madam profiler! Bridgy, the boy is beyond in love with you. You don’t see what everyone else in this office sees when you talk to him, or when someone talks about you.”

Bridgett sighs, rubbing her temple with her fingers lightly.

“What am I supposed to do? I’m genuinely asking I’m not trying to be a bitch but, am I supposed to wait, god knows how long, for him to make the first move? I don’t make the first move. Ever. That’s not me and it makes me want to physically puke even thinking about it. What if he never does it? Then what?”

“I know, beautiful, and I didn’t mean to make you question dating other people, but I just want you to think about it.”

***

Bridgett felt off the rest of the day after her talk with Garcia. She almost wanted to just call Angel and tell him that there had been a change of plans and she wasn’t going to the party anymore. But he had told her on the phone a few nights ago he had gotten a special outfit for the night.

Bridgett sits on the couch, her hair flowing down her back, makeup fresh on her face, and a dark maroon dress clinging to her body, the dress ending mid thigh. While she was staring at her phone deciding on whether or not she was going to call Angel and cancel, it starts ringing, his name appearing on screen.

“Hello?”

“Hey you, I’m on my way to come get you. I’ll be there in about 5 minutes.”

Her stomach turns, but in a good way.

“Okay. I’ll be waiting. See you in a bit.”

She slips her heels on, leaving them for the last minute knowing they were going to kill her feet by the end of the night. She paced back and forth, double and triple checking she had everything in her clutch. there’s a knock at the door in a rhythmic pattern, one that Angel frequented when he came over to pick her up. Bridgett walks to answer the door, opening it with a smile. He smiles back, handing her a single red rose.

“For you.” He smiles, kissing her cheek. Bridgett’s cheeks get warm, a nervous laugh coming from her mouth.

“Thank you. You look very handsome.”

He looked so incredibly handsome in the dark brown button up tucked into black dress pants he was wearing, everything head to toe was on point and it made her swoon a little bit.

“Are you ready to go? I’m definitely going to need directions to your coworker’s house.”

***

“This is going to sound very shallow, but how much money do FBI agents make? This house is huge.” Angel whispers to Bridgett, walking up to Rossi’s house.

“He used to work for the FBI back in the day, he retired and wrote a couple of books and he started doing book tours and signing, lectures. So he always hosts parties because this is his house. He’s a great guy, you’ll like him.”

Bridgett was beyond nervous for everyone to meet this new guy. Especially since he was so new in her life. And since the conversation she had with Penelope, she was nervous if she was right how Spencer would react.

She rings the doorbell to the large house, waiting for someone to answer the door. Derek opens the door, a surprising look on his face.

“Hey Bridge. Come on in.” Derek studies Angel up and down.

“Derek, this is Angel. Angel this is Derek. He and I work together at the Buerau. He’s our resident badass and big brother.”

The front of the house fills with the rest of the team members; Emily, JJ, Penelope, Hotch, Rossi, but no Spencer. She introduces everyone to Angel , Rossi handing both of them a drink after the introductions are done.

***

The mood was light while everyone was inside sitting around a large table, everyone talking and laughing.

“I gotta use the restroom. I’ll be back, if I’m not back in 10 send a search party.” Angel jokes, making Bridgett laugh.

“Hey pretty boy made it!” Derek calls out, everyone’s attention turning to Spencer. He smiles and waves awkwardly, coming to join everyone else. He had a nice plum colored button up on with a skinny solid black tie, and of course his converse on. He looked really handsome. Bridgett waves at him from her seat, Spencer walking over and sitting on the opposite side of her.

“You’re late. What took you so long?” Bridgett teases.

“The subway. It randomly broke down right before I was supposed to get off for 15 minutes.”

“Well hey, don’t worry about taking the subway home, I’ll just take you. I’m sticking to one glass tonight, I’m not going to be drunk.”

Spencer smiles at her, nodding his head as he takes a drink from his glass, “Yeah that would be great thanks Bridge.”

Bridgett feels the chair on her other side slide back, Angel touching her bare shoulder as he sits back down. Spencer’s eyes fixate on the stranger, his eyes flickering back and forth between him and Bridgett.

“Who’s this?” Spencer questions.

“Oh I’m Angel, I’m Bridgett’s date.”

The room fell quiet, everyone watching the exchange. Spencer’s jaw clenched, taking a longer swig of his drink.

“Date huh? Nice.” He says under his breath.

Bridgett’s cheeks getting hot, getting through this dinner was going to be interesting.

Spencer was beyond fuming, but in the back of his mind he knew he had no true right to feel this angry.  But seeing that the girl he’s in love with be touched and goggled over made him seethe with rage.

If you weren’t such a goddamn wimp, maybe Bridgett and you could have gone together as a date, but no you have to be afraid of fucking everything.

Spencer knocks the glass of wine back, asking Rossi if he had anything stronger., to which he offered him his best scotch and Spencer took. He quickly shoots that one down, instantly regretting it once he feels the fire in his throat.

Bridgett watches him cough after hearing him swallow the shot, in the few years she’s know Spencer, he’s had maybe half a sip of champagne, and again… it was half a sip. “Woah, slowdown, I can’t carry you out of here.” Bridgett comments, laughing slightly.

Spencer pours another shot full, keeping his eyes on hers the whole time while he slowly sips, finishing yet another glass.

“Slow enough for you?”

***

Spencer didn’t speak one word while everyone was eating , anytime Bridgett spoke to him, Spencer wouldn’t look at her, he just nodded his head and take a heavy drink. He got more and more angry throughout the night, nobody else could tell if it was the alcohol or Angel.

Not too long after dinner was over some of the team started to leave. Angel wraps his arm around Bridgett’s waist, kissing her cheek.

“What do you say we get out of here?” Angel whispers in her ear. Bridgett giggles, smiling at him.

“Okay. I told my friend Spencer I would take him home, so I need to drop him off before I get home. Let me go find him.”

Bridgett walks to the backyard to try to find Spencer, not finding him with the rest of the team that was still here. She walks back inside, finding Derek and Penelope before they leave.

“Hey, have you seen Spence? I was supposed to give him a ride home.”

Derek sighs, throwing his jacket on. Penelope stares at Derek then back at Bridgett.

“He uhh… got a call from his mom’s care facility. He left like 10 minutes ago.”

“Oh my god is she okay?”

“He didn’t say. He was… upset.” Derek states, rubbing her shoulder in comfort. “I’ll see you Monday morning, mama.”

Bridgett walks to Rossi and Emily chatting with Angel, her coat in his hands.

“Hey, Spence took off because of a family emergency. So if you still want to head out, we can.”

Angel nods his head, helping Bridgett put her coat on and saying his goodbyes to the pair before walking hand and hand out with Bridgett back to her car.

***

Bridgett walks through the elevator, pulling the door open to the dugout. She spots Spencer at his desk, not expecting him to be at work this morning.

“Hey, you’re here. How’s your mom?”

Spencer barely turns his head to give Bridgett a dirty look, going back to scribbling something in his notebook.

“Fine.” He says plainly.

“Garcia said that you left Rossi’s party the other night because you got a call from your mom’s care facility that something happened. And you didn’t answer my phone calls all weekend. I was worried about you.”

Spencer gets up from his desk with a sigh, whizzing past her toward the conference room. Bridgett stands there, completely confused why he wasn’t speaking to her.

“Hey mama, we have a local case, Hotch said a briefing in 5.” Derek says, passing by her quickly.

Bridgett sets her bag at her desk, taking her notebook and pen with her to the conference room, sitting in her usual spot next to Spencer.

“Hey, are you okay?” She asks quietly.

Spencer visibly rolls his eyes, fidgeting with his pen between his fingers.

“Yup. Just fine.”

Bridgett opens her mouth to ask him another question but everyone grabs their seat as JJ begins briefing everyone on their case.

***

Hotch had Bridgett and Spencer partner up to examine the crime scene and Spencer was beyond annoyed. Bridgett could feel the anger and tension between both of them the car ride to the crime scene. She wanted to ask what his deal was but she didn’t want there to be more anger in the air when they got to their destination.

While they were examining the crime scene and talking with the town sheriff, Spencer undermined every single thing she asked, said, or thought and it was pissing her off.

After a few hours they were ready to head back to headquarters and Bridgett was furious.

“Hey, Spencer, could you have me a tissue please?” Bridgett asks, motioning to the glove compartment. Spencer sighs loudly, opening the drawer and slamming the door closed hard. That was it.

“What the fuck is your problem?!” Bridgett yells. “Why are you being such a fucking dick? What did I do to you?”

“What are you talking about?”

Bridgett bites her cheek, putting her turn signal on and pulling off to the side of the road.

“What are you doing?” Spencer asks, raising his voice.

“No, what are you doing?! I don’t know why you’re pissed off at me, but you making me look like I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about when we’re working is not okay. This attitude you’ve had with me all morning is starting to piss me off and I’m over it! What did I do?”

Spencer sits quietly, gathering his thoughts.

“I don’t want to talk to you about it.”

Bridgett was about 2 seconds away from screaming in anger, her hands grip the steering wheel, knuckles white.

“So instead of being a fucking adult you’re choosing to act like a child and not tell me why you’re angry with me? Real mature Spencer. You know, for a genius, you can be real dumb sometimes.” She fires off at him.

“Nice to know that’s what you think of me.” Spencer says quietly, grabbing his satchel, opening the car door and walking away from the car.

Bridgett sits dumbfounded. She gets out of the car, running after him. “Spencer! What are you doing?!”

He has his back turned to her, his cell phone pressed to his ear.

“Spencer, Spencer, Spencer, Spencer.” Bridgett repeats his name over and over again, getting under his skin.

Once he hangs the phone up he begins walking away again.

“Goddamn it! Where are you going?” She shouts, Spencer stopping in his tracks.

“Going back to work. I’m not riding with you back. I called a cab”

“Why are you being like this? What did I do Spencer?!” She was pissed, getting upset, and tired.

“You’re being a shitty friend!” Spencer yells, visibly taken back at what he even just yelled.

Bridgett stares at him, tears clouding her vision. “I’m not a shitty friend.” She says with a light voice. “You really think I’m a shitty friend? All the nights I spent on the phone with you because you were having bad nightmares, the time I went to your house at 3:30am because you called me inconsolable, was there for you because you got a call that your mom was having a bad day and you felt guilty for putting her in a mental hospital. All of that I was there for you and you still have the audacity to call me a shitty friend? Really?”

Spencer doesn’t make eye contact with her, his feet kicking the pavement under him. Bridgett walks back to the car, tears flowing down her cheeks at his words. She sits in the car, watching Spencer sit on the sidewalk, waiting for his cab, his head turning every so often to see the car still parked several feet away. Bridgett openly sobbed in the car, she was sensitive enough as it was, but having her best friend call her a shitty friend broke her. She waits in the car until she sees a yellow cab pull up next to Spencer and him get in it. Even though he just pissed her off, she didn’t want him to be by himself in the middle of nowhere. Once she sees him get in she drives off toward the office, still sniffling and the occasional tear rolling down her cheek.

Once she pulls into the parking spot back at the office, she slowly walks inside, trying to get her mind together before having to go back and face the rest of the team. She walks through the doors, throwing the case file on her desk and grabbing her bag to go home.

“Hey, where’s Spence?” Derek asks, popping up behind her.

“Fuck if I know.” Bridgett mumbles, turning to walk out for the day.

“Wait! Where are you going? What happened? Are you crying?” Derek rattles his questions off one after the other.

Bridgett continues walking out, ignoring Derek talking to her. She presses the elevator down button, waiting for it to come. She feels someone next to her, Derek. She sighs, folding her arms over her chest. The doors open, both of them walking in.

“What’s wrong?”

Bridgett clears her throat, choking back a sob.

“Spencer and I got into it… he got out of the car on the way back and called a cab to come get him because we were yelling at each other. He called me a shitty friend.”

“He’s going to kill me for saying this, but the reason he left on Saturday was because he was angry that you brought that kid with you to the party. He sort of has a thing for you.”

“Everyone keeps telling me that, you, Garcia, but he hasn’t made a move on me. I’m not going to wait for him to do it. I know that sounds mean but I can’t wait forever.”

Derek nods his head. “I know. I’ve been trying to tell him. And I told him the other night too. I’ve never seen him so mad. It definitely didn’t help that he was drinking everything in sight. But I can tell you that you’re not a shitty friend. Spencer just says what’s on his mind when he’s mad.”

“So that means he has it in his head that I’m shitty to him.”

Derek shakes his head, giving her a tight hug.

“No, that’s not what I’m saying. Let me talk to him. See if I can get him to calm down. Go home, I’ll tell Hotch you got sick on the job and take the rest of the day to make yourself feel better, alright?”

Bridgett nods, giving him a hug.

***

Bridgett grabs the plate of her favorite comfort meal, breakfast food drenched in hot sauce, and takes it over to the couch, flipping through the tv channels to find something to watch for the night. Her favorite movie was already loaded into her DVD player from the last time she watched it, and that was probably what she was going to settle for. As she takes a huge mouthful of eggs there’s a soft knock at the door. She groans, quickly chewing her food, opening the door quickly. Spencer is standing there, his head down, fidgeting with the leather strap across his chest.

“Hi.” He says quietly.

“Hello.” Bridgett responds, a hint  of attitude in her tone, still a little bitter at him for his earlier outburst.

Spencer bites his bottom lip, awkwardly fixing her doormat with his foot to straighten it out.

“I was wondering if I could talk… if we could talk.”

“What about?” She asks, crossing her arms over her chest, still not letting him inside.

“I wanted to tell you I’m sorry.” Finally looking into Bridgett’s eyes.

“Oh really? Okay well I’m listening.”

Spencer sighs, tapping his fingers on his bag.

“Derek told me that you went back to work crying… about what I said to you and I didn’t mea-“

Bridgett interrupts, just to get under his skin. “What did you say to me? I forgot.” She questions, her voice thick with sarcasm.

Well she isn’t going to make this easy.

“I… I called you a shitty friend. And I didn’t mean it, Bridge. I was angry and I should have never said it because it’s far from the truth. You’re the only true friend I’ve ever had, and I feel like such a dick for saying it to you. I probably can’t ever apologize enough to make up for it, but my apology is genuine.”

Bridgett continues to stare at him for a few seconds, she could tell he really was sorry for his harsh words, and even if she wanted to, she couldn’t be mad at him.

“Come in.” She moves from the middle of the doorway, letting Spencer in. He walks in, following her to the couch.

“I want you to be honest with me, because I already know the answer to the question.”

Spencer nods his head, playing with a loose string on her throw pillows.

“Do you have romantic feelings for me?”

Spencer’s eyes grow wide, almost in a cartoonish way. He drops eye contact with Bridgett, his heart beating a million miles per hour.

Tell her. Tell her now. She already knows. Tell. Her.

“Yeah.” He says, no sound coming out of his mouth, his vocal chords frozen. He clears his throat, “Yeah, I have feelings for you. I have for a while now.”

“How long is a while?” Bridgett questions, feeling a bit of relief that he finally admits it.

“476 days. Since the night at the hotel… in Idaho. Well actually 388 days before that, it’s kinda why what happened in Idaho… happened. So 864 days total.”

Bridgett nods her head, trying to hide the smirk on her face, remembering very fondly of what happened in Idaho.

“And why did you feel the need to hide the fact you had feelings for me that weren’t just sexual feelings? Why do you think that you couldn’t tell me you liked me in a romantic way?”

“I don’t know. I was scared that you were going to laugh in my face when I told you that I fell in lo-.” He stops himself before he says the word.

“Fell in love with me?” Bridgett asks, finishing his sentence.  

He nods his head, afraid to say the words.

“I wouldn’t laugh at you. And to be honest with you, I would be lying to myself if I said I didn’t like you too. I haven’t been in love with you for 800 days, but I do love you.”

Spencer stays quiet, smiling to himself. “864 days.”

Bridgett rolls her eyes and elbows his arm playfully.

“Oh, so sorry 864 days. Since we’re talking about how many days we’ve been in love with each other, I've been in love with you for about…” Bridgett pauses as she does the math in her head, not anywhere close to how fast Spencer’s brain worked. “730 days.”

“Really?”

Bridgett nods her head, “Yeah, it’s kinda hard not to love you. You know what solidified my love for you? Do you remember when we were flying back from Seattle, and you were exhausted, we were sitting together, we had barely been in the air for 20 minutes and I felt your head rest on my shoulder. I looked over at you and you were passed out. I put my head on yours and I fell asleep too. When I woke up, Emily had a picture on her phone she had taken of us and I knew that I loved you.”

Spencer touched Bridgett’s cheek with his thumb softly, staring at her deep brown eyes. He takes Bridgett’s hand in his, holding them close to his chest.

“I love you Bridgett, and I really want to make you happy.”

She lets go of his hands and places both of them on each side of his face, giving him a smile.

“I forgive you.” She says softly, kissing his lips. “And I love you too.”

“So does this mean you’re my… girlfriend?”

Bridgett kisses his lips softly, smiling at him lovingly.

“Yes, yes it does mean I’m your girlfriend. You good with that?”

“Very. I’m very good with that.”

[openheartchoices]

Five Times He Didn’t, One Time He Did (Ethan Ramsey x MC)

Five Times He Didn’t, One Time He Did

Open Heart: Ethan Ramsey x f!MC (Olivia Summers)

Words: 4.3k

Summary: Five times that Ethan Ramsey didn’t kiss the girl and the one time he did.

A/N: I actually really loved writing this, and the idea has been in my head for a hot minute now. also this was written at like 3 am last night, so i haven’t edited yet. lots of love & happy reading!

**also, I don’t know if I’ve ever brought up a taglist, but I did (finally) start one, and it’s below. A few of you have asked to be tagged, so you’re below if you’ve asked! I started my tumblr about a month ago, and I am ready to start building onto my masterlist and taglist. Let me know if you want to be added now that I officially have one! **

aglist: @kaavyaethanramsey @nooruleman @missmiimiie @bellcat2010 @junehiratas @perriewinklenerdie @openheart12 @ethandaddyramsey

It was in the on-call room the first time.

Ethan found her bundled up, still in her scrubs and white coat, in a corner where she slept peacefully. The room was always cold, but it was even more so with the frigid winter weather outside. Olivia had been working a long shift that had truly exhausted her.

As he moved closer to her sleeping form, he realized he didn’t want to wake her up. He laughed lightly upon seeing her frizzy ponytail, strands of her blonde hair framing her sleeping face. Her mouth was slightly open, deep breaths coming out of it.

He felt guilty about waking her up, but he needed her for a case, and she hadn’t been answering her pager. Ethan knew why once he saw it laying on the table beside her. A nurse had informed him at the nurses’ station that she had seen Olivia go into the room, but she didn’t recall seeing her come back out.

He hesitantly started to reach down to wake her before moving his hand multiple times back and forth as he contemplated on if it was really necessary to wake her. Ethan bit his lip while trying to decide what to do.

Letting out a sigh, Ethan finally shook her gently, knowing she was going to have to get up eventually. “Olivia, hey. Wake up.”

She rolled over onto her back, her eyes still shut as she stretched. Sleepily, Olivia opened her eyes. Once realizing who had just woken her up, she darted straight up as rubbed her eyes frantically. “Hey, Dr. Ramsey! What do you need?”

“I needed to borrow you. We have a case I wanted to discuss with you.”

“Okay, sounds good,” she replied back, fake enthusiasm and pep in her voice in an attempt to act like she hadn’t just been in a deep sleep.

As she pulled her hair out of the mess it was in and threw it back up to look nicer, Ethan turned to her again. “I’ve been paging you.”

Her cheeks went red and her eyes opened wide. Olivia looked everywhere but at Ethan as she grabbed her pager that sat on the table. She sheepishly looked back up at him. “I must’ve really been out.”

“You lucked up that it wasn’t an emergency. You have to be more careful than that.” However, upon seeing the bags under her eyes, he sighed. “Just… try to get some sleep at home. Have you been sleeping?”

Olivia shrugged as she played with the sleeves of her white coat. “Somewhat.”

Ethan frowned. “Why haven’t you been sleeping?”

“I have a lot going on. My head runs a million miles a night.” Was all she said.

Ethan had a feeling as to why she hadn’t been sleeping. He had an even bigger feeling that it most definitely involved his recent decision to erase everything they’d ever had. He could feel the guilt coming from a mile away.

“Well,” he cleared his throat as sat beside her, “if you, uh, ever need to talk, you know I’m here to listen.”

“I can’t talk about my problems to you when you are my problem,” she whispered softly, looking into his eyes for the first time since he had come into the room.

Ethan could feel all the air leaving his lungs as he made eye contact with Olivia. The distance between their hands was only a few centimeters as Ethan slowly moved it over, their pinky fingers barely touching.

They didn’t have to say anything. The small, weightless touch of their hands together and the look they gave each other said everything. It screamed the three unsaid words Olivia wanted to tell him, and it was a clear definition of Ethan’s longing for the blonde doctor beside him.

He noticed Olivia’s eyes darting down to his lips as he found himself doing the same thing. They both wanted it; that much was obvious. However, Ethan knew he couldn’t.

Ethan broke the gaze, awkwardly staring at the floor and quickly stood up. “We, um, need to go to my office to discuss the case.”

Without looking back at her, Ethan went out of the on-call room before he could do anything he considered stupid and reckless. On the journey back to his office, it took all he had in him to not kick himself for what he was doing to her.

—

They were in the parking lot of Donahue’s the second time.

Olivia was pacing back and forth like a maniac when he found her. She was completely oblivious to him as her eyes focused on her phone as she frantically dialed a number.

Ethan watched her for a moment. She was wringing her hands together, something she only did when she was nervous, as the phone sat wedged between her cheek and her shoulder. Whoever was on the phone finally answered.

“It’s about time you answered the phone!” Olivia exclaimed. “I’ve been a nervous wreck since I got your text. What’s wrong?”

Ethan didn’t want to eavesdrop, but he was curious who was on the phone. Could it be a boyfriend? Was it Dr. Trinh? Was it a family member? He really didn’t know.

Olivia suddenly gasped. “Really? I’m so happy for you! But I really freaked out at your text. It sounded like you were being kidnapped.”

Ethan listened further as Olivia kept talking. “Send me pictures. I can’t wait to see her! I’ll be in to visit as soon as I can get time off. Give her lots of hugs from me when she’s here. Love you, Octavia. You’ve got this!”

Olivia continued her conversation until she finally said her goodbyes. Before Ethan could move from the place he’d been standing and eavesdropping, Olivia turned around and caught him.

“Were you listening to me on the phone?”

Ethan sheepishly shrugged. “You sounded worried. I just wanted to make sure you were okay. You were wringing your hands which is something you only do when you’re nervous.”

Olivia laughed. “Well, since you’re being nosy, my sister is in labor with my niece. She sent me a very urgent text, and I got worried something was wrong.”

“She’s doing good?”

“Yes. She said she should be here soon,” Olivia said with a smile. “I can’t wait. Octavia is going to be an incredible mom. She’s younger than me, but she was always the mom of us all.”

They sat on the bench outside of the bar, the music echoing from inside. “I didn’t know you had siblings.”

Olivia grinned. “I have a brother and a sister. I’m the oldest, Octavia is in the middle, and Oliver is the youngest. We’re all extremely close. Mom and Dad… it’s complicated with them. We had each other growing up, and that was all we needed.”

Ethan wanted to press further about Olivia’s parents, but he decided not to. Judging from the tone of her voice when she brought them up, he knew that probably wasn’t a topic he needed to bring up.

They sat in silence for a few moment, neither one of them saying anything until Olivia spoke up. “I should get back inside. Sienna will send out a search party for me if I’m not back soon.”

Ethan didn’t want her to go. He could sit there all night, but he knew he should get going, too. However, he was going home to Jenner, not back inside the bar. “I should be getting home. I hope your sister has a safe delivery.”

Olivia threw Ethan a smile that lit up the dark around them. The lights from the streets illuminated her complexion, making Ethan even more crazy about her. “Thanks. Goodnight, Ethan.”

“Goodnight, Olivia.”

She lingered for a minute, giving Ethan time to back out of kissing her, before finally standing up and giving him one last smile before starting her way back inside.

He wanted to call out her name, tell her to come back, and express how he really felt, but he didn’t. Instead of kissing her, he was watching her open the doors to Donahue’s as she disappeared inside.

“You are an idiot,” he mumbled to himself.

—

The third time was in his office when Olivia had brought him a muffin at the end of her shift.

“Knock, knock,” Olivia had said when she entered the room.

Ethan looked up from his pile of paperwork to see Olivia looking… not like the usual Olivia.

Her blonde hair had been neatly curled. She wore a long-sleeved, flared out red dress that ended mid-thigh with a pair of wedges and matching red earrings to go along with the outfit. She clutched a red purse in her hand with a muffin in the other.

Ethan knew she must had just gotten ready because he knew for a fact that her hair had been in a low ponytail all day, she had worn her scrubs, and there hadn’t been an ounce of makeup on her last time he had seen her which had only been around two hours again on the fourth floor.

However, he wasn’t denying that she looked stunning.

“I brought you a muffin,” she said as Ethan looked up at her in confusion from his desk. She was awfully cheery.

“Thanks?” He questioned. “Not that I don’t appreciate the muffin, but why did you bring me a muffin, Rookie?”

“One of the oncology nurses, Sarah, made some last night for her son’s bake sale today at school. She brought the leftovers with her and was kind enough to give me two. I ate one. This is the other. I thought you might be a little hungry. I know you’ve been busy today,” she replied.

His heart warmed at Olivia making a point to bring him something to snack on. He had, indeed, been extremely busy. Ethan wasn’t starving, but he was secretly thankful for the blueberry muffin wrapped in a napkin that she sat on his desk.

“I’d love to stay and talk, but I’ve got to get going,” Olivia said. “I’m supposed to be at dinner at seven thirty.” She glanced down to check the time on her phone.

That got his attention.

“Dinner?”

Olivia stuttered. “Yeah. I, uh, have a date tonight.”

Ethan bit the inside of his cheek to refrain from saying anything. He couldn’t help but feel the jealousy running rampantly through him. That explained why she was so dressed up. “Have a nice time.”

If Ethan had been paying attention, he would’ve caught the way Olivia’s face dropped at his nonchalance. He would’ve seen how the whole muffin thing was just an act to come see him. He would’ve seen that she still cared, and she wanted him to care, too.

She rocked back and forth on her wedges. “I will. See you tomorrow?”

Olivia’s hand was on the door knob, but she couldn’t bring herself to open it because she wanted him to know that if he didn’t want her to go, she wouldn’t. If he didn’t want her to move on, then she wouldn’t. All he had to do was say the words.

However, all Ethan said as finally looked back up at her was, “See you tomorrow.”

He noticed how she hovered at the door. If he was being honest with himself, he wanted to jump out of his seat and tell her how he felt, yet he couldn’t. Their relationship would cost them both too much.

Ethan couldn’t risk that.

So he let her go out the door as she stopped in the doorway, looking at him a final time. Ethan couldn’t tear his eyes away from her. He was completely absorbed in the moment. He didn’t say anything as she finally nodded to herself and shut the door.

He had screwed up.

What he didn’t know was that as soon she got into the parking lot, Olivia called off the date because she, too, was feeling like she had screwed up.

—

It happened a fourth time when Grey’s Anatomy got to Olivia a little too much.

It was a Thursday on the night shift when Ethan was violently pulled into a supply closet by a certain blonde.

“Jesus Christ, Rookie! You can’t just drag people into closets whenever you feel like- what’s wrong?” He immediately asked upon catching a glimpse of her face.

Olivia wore a sad expression on her face. Her hair was up in a bun as she crossed her arms over her light blue scrubs. She was looking everywhere but at Ethan. “It’s stupid. I shouldn’t have kidnapped you into the closet.

Ethan frowned, trying to read into what was going on. “Did something happen?”

“No,” she mumbled. Then, although Ethan couldn’t quite hear her, Olivia mumbled a few more words.

“What? You’re going to have to speak up.”

She sighed, her face turning red. “I was watching Grey’s Anatomy last night, and there was a shooting episode. I… I sobbed for a good hour after it was over. I just- if something like that ever happens here, then just promise me you’ll stay safe.”

Ethan thought she was joking for a minute, but looking into her eyes and seeing the worry in them, he decided she must have been completely serious. “Of course I would stay safe, Liv. I wouldn’t do anything to-“

Ethan didn’t get to finish his sentence before Olivia pulled him into a big hug. He wrapped his arms around her just as tight. “It’s just a television show. Don’t let it scare you.”

“It’s just different when you’re an actual doctor, y’know? I know a lot of it isn’t like what we do every day, but still. It hits different when this is your life. We don’t ever think that today might be the last day we ever walk into Edenbrook. I just can’t help but to replay that in my head,” Olivia mumbled into his white coat as she gripped it. “I don’t know what I’d do if something ever happened to you.”

She pulled back to look at him. Ethan noted she still didn’t look satisfied, so he continued to talk to her. “Don’t put those thoughts into your head. Yes, anything could happen, but we just have to live life as it is and not dwell on that.”

The two suddenly became aware of the close proximity to one another. They were so close that Ethan could spot the tiny freckles that darted along Olivia’s cheeks and nose. Both of their hearts were racing, each feeling dizzy from the other’s presence.

Ethan was so close this time to leaning down and closing the gap. It took everything in him to not give into her. It physically pained him to take back his arms and drop them by his side. It hurt him even more to see the disappointed look on Olivia’s face.

He cleared his throat. “You okay now?”

“Yeah,” she said. “I should get back to my rounds.”

As Olivia left the supply closet, not looking back once, Ethan couldn’t help but feel like yanking his own hair out.

Once again, he had let his pride become bigger than his feelings.

—

It happened for the fifth time when he found Olivia splurging in vending machine food.

He found her in cafeteria off to the side where no one was sitting at three in the morning. Ethan had to do a double take when he first noticed the hunched over form that held a book in hand with a Hershey bar in the other.

“What exactly are you doing?” He asked her once he got to where she was sitting, eyeing the various snacks in her lap that she had obviously gotten from the vending machine.

She looked up from her book and patted the cushioned seat next to her. He, of course, sat down and looked over at her.

“Reading.”

Ethan rolled his eyes. Olivia always had a tendency to have sassy remarks. “No, what I meant was what are you doing at three in the morning with a bunch of sugary snacks and whatever that is you’re reading.”

Olivia flashed him the cover. “I’m reading The Selection series. I’m on the third book, and I just bought the series a week ago. The sugary snacks are to keep me awake so I don’t fall asleep before I finally finish my shift at seven.”

“What is The Selection?”

“Kind of like a royal version of The Bachelor, but Maxon is far better than any of the bachelors on that show,” Olivia answered, popping a chip into her mouth from the opened bag on the opposite seat of where Ethan was sitting. “America obviously belongs with Maxon. I don’t know why there was ever consideration about Aspen.”

“I have no idea who those people are.”

Olivia and Ethan sat on the uncomfortable chairs in the cafeteria for a good ten minutes as Olivia explained every aspect of the series. She went into depth on the characters, their traits, the storyline, and her own personal opinions.

Ethan found himself even more interested in Olivia as he watched her eyes light up as she discussed the book and ate chocolate. His heart fluttered even more when Olivia announced she had started the series in the first place because of a fourteen-year-old patient that loved it.

Olivia told him how the patient, Jade, was a cancer patient on the pediatrics floor whose favorite hobby was reading. This was her favorite series, and all she did when Olivia came in was talk about it, so Olivia bought the books and had fallen in love with it just like Jade.

She explained that Jade was terrified of the hospital, and she was even more terrified at the fact she had cancer. Olivia was reading the series so that she had something to talk to Jade about to take her mind off of everything going on.

That was the moment Ethan knew she wasn’t going to be great at her job one day like he always thought because she was already an incredible doctor.

“That’s… really good of you, Olivia,” Ethan softly said.

She smiled. “If I can take her mind off the bad stuff for just a minute, it’s worth reading this entire series.”

Ethan noticed a smudge of chocolate stuck to the corner of her mouth. Silently, he cupped his hand around her cheek, his thumb coming down to slowly wipe away the tiny bit of chocolate.

“Sorry. You had chocolate on your mouth,” he mumbled.

Ethan didn’t remove his hand. Instead, it continued to rest on her cheek. Olivia didn’t bother to remove it, the open book still sitting in her lap. He could hear her nervously gulp from where he was at.

She had slowly moved closer on instinct, her hand coming up to rest against his that was on her cheek. They were close again, much like many other times that they both recalled. However, unlike the other times, Ethan was about to give in this time.

He didn’t get the chance to when his pager went off, startling both of the doctors. Ethan didn’t say anything as he stood up, removing his hand from her cheek. He gave her one last look before walking out of the cafeteria on his way to a whole other floor.

He knew it would only be a matter of time before he finally did give in to the blonde doctor that read her patients’ favorite books.

And Ethan wanted to give in.

—

The one time he did give in was when Olivia brought a fruit tray to his apartment.

A thump on his apartment door interrupted Ethan late at night. He took off his glasses and rubbed his eyes, prying them away from his laptop where he was doing research work before he went to the door only to see Olivia standing outside.

He looked at her to see her standing in black, lint-covered leggings, a large sweater, and a whole fruit tray in her hand. Her blonde hair was braided, probably by Sienna, into a side braid that very much suited her.

“What are you doing at my apartment in the middle of the night with a fruit tray?” He questioned her.

She rolled her eyes. “I’ll tell you if you’ll let me in. It’s November, Ethan. I’m freezing out here.”

He opened the door wider and motioned for her to come in. She took off her shoes at the door before turning to Ethan. “Do you want to share this fruit tray with me?”

Ethan looked at her incredulously. “Olivia, it’s two in the morning. What are you doing with a fruit tray?”

Olivia shrugged. “it’s been sitting in our refrigerator at the apartment, and no one will eat it. I didn’t want it to go to waste, so I thought I’d see if you wanted to share it with me. I don’t like pineapple, and I’m just not crazy about watermelon, so you’re welcome to eat all of those sections. We have to share the grapes, strawberries, and blueberries.”

“Did it occur to you that I might have been asleep?”

“No because you’ve been working on some research. I had a feeling you’d be up working, and I was right.” Olivia sat on the couch, motioning Ethan to come sit next to her.

Jenner sat beside of Olivia, happy to see her to which she sat the fruit tray down on the coffee table in front of her to scratch behind Jenner’s ears and tell him what a “good boy” he was.

Ethan liked the sight in front of him. Olivia on his couch in the middle of the night with Jenner. The fruit tray was something that he hadn’t seen coming, but he would be lying if he said he didn’t enjoy her company no matter how many headaches she gave him sometimes.

“So,” Ethan drawled as Olivia held the fruit tray out to him. He grabbed a piece of pineapple and took a bite out of it. “How did your sister do when she had the baby.”

Olivia grinned. “She said she did good, and it didn’t hurt as bad as she thought it would. I’d show you pictures, but I left my phone back at the apartment. She’s precious. I can’t wait to meet her when I go home for Thanksgiving in two weeks.”

Ethan popped a grape into his mouth at the same time as Olivia bit into a strawberry. “That’s good to hear. How did your date go that night? I never got to ask.”

Olivia hesitated to answer, and Ethan clearly noticed her hesitation. He couldn’t help but worry that maybe it had gone great, and Olivia was about to tell him she had met the person she thought she was going to marry or something else extreme.

“I didn’t go,” she admitted, plucking at the strawberry she held in her hand, suddenly becoming very interested in it. “I, uh, called him when I got in the parking lot and told him I didn’t think a date was a good idea.”

“Why did you do that?” Ethan asked even though he had a feeling he knew the answer.

“Because he’s a doctor, but he’s not the doctor I want. He’s not the one that lets me into his apartment in the middle of the night with a fruit tray in my hand because I wanted an excuse just to come talk to him. He isn’t the one that listens me to talk about books when I’m on a sugar rush. He isn’t the one who always reassures me.”

Olivia paused for a moment before she said, “He’s a nice guy, but he just isn’t you.”

She took the last bite of her strawberry to try and ease some of the tension. Ethan noticed her eyes looking everywhere except for at him.

With no warning, his hand came around to the back of her neck, pulling her in to finally close the distance in the way he had wanted to for weeks now. Ethan didn’t allow himself to talk him out of doing it. This was Olivia, and she was worth everything.

He could taste the strawberries on her breath as he moved his lips against her, capturing everything Ethan had wanted to tell her for so long. The kiss screamed that he was wrong. The kiss conveyed the message that he wanted her.

Olivia pulled back and smiled. “You taste like grapes.”

Ethan laughed. “You taste like strawberries.”

She suddenly got serious as she intertwined their hands. “What are we doing? Because I don’t want to play games, Ethan. I’m telling you that I want you, but I need you to be upfront with me.”

“I want you, too.”

This time, Olivia pulled him into the kiss, mustering up every ounce of love she held for him and pouring it into the kiss. Ethan reciprocated, letting his worrying mind finally leave him alone for once.

For the first time in weeks, Ethan hadn’t felt like he screwed up.

[minah-delacroix]

At any price (Part VII)

Universe: Dynasty AU

Characters: Minah, Tyler, Daniel (briefly)

Word count: 2,1 k

Addiction

Tyler and Minah are like a drug to each other. As days pass by what was initially meant to be some sort of ridiculous ploy to get over Sungjae soon becomes something Minah loses control over and almost tastes like an addiction. Somewhere between their unspoken agreement and sex by a pool, whatever it is they have has sent Minah’s judgment flying out the window. The smug smirk plastered on Tyler’s face every time she pronounces his name, suggests he’s fully aware of it and enjoys the power he holds over her. Under normal circumstances, Minah would’ve been mortified, but given the fact she wants to keep Sungjae off her mind, she doesn’t care as long as her nights —and days— are spent with her body pressed against Tyler’s, having fun between the sheets of his canopy bed. Or on top of his mahogany desk. Or hers.

Today it’s the sofa in their office; a purchase Tyler had deemed unnecessary, but that now seems useful as he lays shirtless on it, arms up under his head. Amused, the man follows Minah’s attempts to cover the marks on her neck with a one-of-a-kind ‘Jeu des Omnibus et Dames Blanches’ carré Hermès that he managed to snatch from a private collector, a first edition as rare as Minah herself.

“Don’t tell me you’re leaving already” Tyler sits up, his voice laced with an evident intention that turns even more obvious as he slides to Minah’s side, his lips tracing kisses along her clavicle.

Minah can guess what he wants without even looking at him.

Over the past months working together and a couple of weeks sleeping with him, Minah has learned that Tyler Lee likes grand gestures and despises dullness. The fact she has a ten thousand euro worth piece of silk wrapped around her neck to hide the love bites he left on her skin it’s a testament to it. It is as arousing as it is embarrassing, so she tries to stop Tyler’s attempts to untie the scarf, but she knows she’s fighting a lost battle because there’s not ever a time Tyler lets her go without a second round. And for that, lately, she’s as thankful as she’s equally exhausted  —or at least Enzo has pointed out so every time they meet for lunch—.

“Did you read our end-year report?” Minah questions, pushing Tyler’s head gently and looking at him in the eyes. He clicks his tongue, but can’t even begin to get mad at her because there’s an angelic aura of sexual afterglow surrounding Minah that distracts him from reality and the fact she’s glaring at him.

Ignoring the small dent between her brows, he reaches over and plants a sloppy kiss on Minah’s lips,

“I should’ve learned it by now” he laughs when Minah breaks the kiss and starts fastening her Kiki de Montparnasse corset “Discussing business is your version of an after-sex cigarette” Minah gives Tyler that faint half deprecatory, half seductive smile she is so good at and shakes her head “But I’ll give you some credit, at least you’ve moved past the this-is-the-last-time-we-do-it speech” Tyler teases, pulling her into his lap and lowering his head to hers.

“No, this really is the last time” Minah whines, but it is evident her words are empty because her body instinctively responds to his lingering touches “I don’t want people thinking we’re doing business together because we share a bed”

“You mean a couch” Tyler corrects “Or a desk, or the bar” he continues, giving Minah soft pecks on the cheeks “The only time we leave this office is to do it on the balcony or home”

“Well, had you read the report, you’d understand why.” Minah knows she’ll have her legs wrapped around Tyler in a few minutes without much effort on his part, but she still attempts to direct Tyler’s attention to the problem at hand. “Our company isn’t as profitable yet” Minah rolls her eyes when Tyler starts kissing her neck again and unclasping her corset “And this is not exactly helping-” she groans.

“Now, isn’t it?” A cocky grin stretches out on Tyler’s face when Minah shifts under him.

Minah still wants to protests, but she gives in once again, mentally scolding herself for allowing Tyler to get away with it every single time.

Foreign territory

An hour or so later Tyler slips a black turtleneck sweater over his head. Across the room, Minah buttons a silk transparent blouse that allows the corset underneath to flaunt her perfect figure. A strategic choice that had a lot to do with Tyler and little with the fact she had been summoned to Delacroix Manor for, in the words of her aunt Valerie, another meeting revolving around the preservation of Delacroix Corp and the family —which Minah had pointed out was basically the same thing.

“So, the end-year report,” Minah says without preamble. She struggles again trying to find the perfect way to tie her silk scarf and effectively hide the hickeys on her neck, which amuses Tyler enough to make him chuckle.

“You know we’ve been on the market less than a year, it was expected we ended the year like this” Though Tyler’s face suddenly turns serious, Minah still can detect a double sense to his words, especially because he’s buckling his belt as he speaks.

“And when do I ever settle for the expected?” Minah pouts ever so slightly.

Tyler is about to reply with some witty comeback, the kind he’s so good at making and he doesn’t even have to think of because it just slips past his lips naturally, but he’s interrupted by his phone pinging somewhere in the office. He stands up and scrambles to find it only to realize it’s still in his suit blazer. He practically jogs to get his Tom Ford jacket from the back of his chair and his face contorts in something akin to unhappiness when he finally inspects whatever it is he’s received.

Minah looks at him concerned.

“What’s wrong? Did Harrods ran out of turtlenecks again?” Minah tries to joke, walking up to him and wrapping an arm around his waist.

Tyler shakes his head. His expression is bitter and if she didn’t know better, Minah would assume Tyler looks hurt.

“It’s Tara, she’s bailing on me for Christmas to spend time with Yang and his family” He informs with a somber expression, throwing his phone onto his chair mindlessly.

“Well, it’s only fair, after you ditched her on your birthday for that mystery woman” Minah still recalls how angry Tara seemed after finding out Tyler was seen sailing in a private yacht in the Galapagos after ditching a party she prepared for weeks. It was back when Tyler and Minah were planning the launch of Envoûté and she still lived in her family’s home.  She can also remember Tyler being super secretive about it and Tara ignoring him for weeks after the incident. Thinking about  the whole situation suddenly makes her curious, so she ventures to ask “So, who is she?” Minah moves slyly to face Tyler “Name, age, weight?”

He only laughs and shakes his head

“Oh, come on, Lee, you know about my past” Minah pouts “Why can’t I know about yours?”

Tyler shrugs and Minah doesn’t insist. She’s learned to recognize some boundaries between them and this time his lips appear sealed on the topic, so she walks back to her desk to pick her purse and pulls a Dior 5 Couleurs Eyeshadow Palette and her YSL lipstick from it. She retouches her makeup without even sparing a single glance at Tyler.

Then, out of a sudden, he clears his throat

“There was never another woman, Minah,” He says, simply. The revelation forces Minah to stop smacking her lips together and turn to look at him with a raised brow. “I was visiting my dad.”

To understand the weight of Tyler’s words one must know that Mr. Lee, once upon a time one of the greatest politicians in Asia and formerly one of the richest men on the planet had been sentenced to 8 years in prison for embezzlement, bribery, and corruption. It had been so shameful for Tyler’s mother that she’d ran away with Tara and Tyler back to her parents’ home in London and never looked back. Ever since talking about their father was taboo for the Lee siblings.

“I thought you’d cut ties with him,” Minah says after an uncomfortable silence settles between them, making Minah wonder if she’s ventured way too far into foreign territory. Even if they’re business partners and as of recently “more than friends”, the whole oversharing family secrets seems a bit too personal for her liking. Tyler seems to think the same judging by the way he keeps his answer curt and free of any further detail.

“I am trying to fix it” Tyler tries to appear nonchalant as he walks toward Minah, “And because of that, Tara is giving me the cold shoulder” he adds, closing the distance between them and sliding his hands down Minah’s back.

“I’m sorry to hear that,” Minah says cupping his face with both hands, she almost seems ready to coo at him and how cute he looks when he’s sulking “I hope she comes around,” she says, letting her hands fall to rest on his chest.

“It’s just as likely as you getting the company out the red” Tyler presses a soft peck on the tip of Minah’s nose and she automatically scrunches it up as though he’s done something disgusting, but it’s actually the realization of how domestic and couple-like they are acting at the moment what makes her react that way.

“This is a season for miracles,” she says, pulling away from Tyler, at the very last second, before his lips come into contact with hers.

“And sorry, but I have to go see my grandparents. They want to negotiate my return to their home” Minah says, briefly picking her coat, her purse, and rushing to the door, leaving a very confused Tyler behind.

Festive spirit

When Minah arrives at Delacroix Manor, her grandparents, aunts, and Suho are waiting by the door, looking nothing less than picture-perfect. So much that the image almost seems fake and makes Minah wish she’d stayed with Tyler instead. They’re all wearing matching festive colors, so although she’s not the slightest bit surprised —after all it’s nearly Christmas— Minah’s outfit clashes with the rest of her family members.

“Intervention or surprise party?” Minah inquires as she climbs the last stairs and finds herself face to face with her grandfather.

“Welcome back, actually,” Her grandmother says, her face not really showing any hint of emotion that allows Minah to discover whether her presence is appreciated or not.

"And not for you” Aunt Valerie adds apologetically.

“Thank God, I was afraid I had to act grateful” Minah walks past her family, ignoring whoever spoke to inform her that  Gabe was returning to the Manor after a short “business” trip Minah knew had to do a lot with his latest scandal and very little with Delacroix Corp.

“Minah” The Delacroix patriarch calls before she manages to sneak inside the manor “Best behavior”

It’s probably the Christmas spirit or the fact Tyler exhausted her too much to complain, but Minah only rolls eyes and takes her spot beside Suho as her brain formulates intricate plans to go back to the Lee Manor before Tara leaves for that college reunion she had scheduled. She thinks she might've found the perfect Christmas gift for the Lee siblings.

However, Minah doesn’t make it to Lee Manor that night because both Suho and her finally get those apologies they’d been expecting, and with her thoughts clouded by the emotive moment, she agrees to move back to the manor, even if it’s just for the holidays. It’s a start and everybody seems happy with that. Even Minah’s grandparents.

That’s why the next morning Daniel Choi parks Tara’s Mercedes S-Class in front of a row of topiaries by the entrance of Delacroix Manor. He can't quite believe he allowed Tyler to convince him of joining Tara —who's maneuvering out of the car holding a heavy bowling bag— and Minah in whatever ridiculous activity they were planning for the day, so he curses his best friend silently as he steps out of the car. It’s the third time in a row that Tyler stands him up and he’s beginning to feel it’s about time he packs his bags and goes back to New York.

“Or probably not” Daniel says, noticing that cutie from the other day—Seokjae or whatever his name is— walking in their direction.

...

[averyrogers83writes]

When A Hero Falls

Title: When A Hero Falls Authors: @shield-agent78 & @averyrogers83 Pairing: Steve Rogers & Andy Barber Rated: NC17 Warnings: Angst Summary: Captain “Steve Rogers” America is on trial for treason so the team hires the only guy they know who can get him off. The best defense attorney around Andy Barber. Words: 2535 Prompt: An anon ask: Someone give me a fanfic where Andy Barber gets hired as Steve Rogers’ lawyer. Squares Filled: On the Run: Avengers Bingo/ @shield-agent78, “this is the fight for our lives”: Star-Spangled Bingo SSB2020/ @shild-agent78, Steve: Withoutadoubt Bingo/ @averyrogerswrites83, In Pain: Avengers Bingo/ @averyrogerswrites83 Author Notes: Another collaborative work by @averyrogers83 and @shield-agent78, anything can happen when these two get together.

@shield-agent78 @averyrogers83​ @asthearrowflies @star-spangled-bingo @avengersbingo @withoutadoubt-bingo 

Day 1: Opening arguments

Andy Barber: Steve Rogers aka Captain America, a man that has put his life on the line for this country more times than we can count. Doing things most men wouldn’t even dream of doing now sits before us accused of treason.  How can anyone even think that a man with such high moral integrity be capable of treason?  As his lawyer, I will prove to you that this man before you is not just a superhero, but also a man that loves this country more than most. I will prove to you that Senator Ross is falsely accusing this American Icon for his own selfish ambitious reasons.

The prosecuting attorney glances over to his client Senator Ross who is sitting with his back firmly against the wooden chair. As opening arguments continue, Senator Ross frowns at Barber’s allegations. He mumbles something quietly to his attorney which only can be guessed however he is waved off as Barber continues.

Murmurs could be heard in the background as Barber accuses Senator Ross of abuse of power amongst other things against Captain Rogers that can only be heard in bits and pieces as the courtroom crowd grew rowdy, causing the presiding judge to call for order in the court.

Prosecutor: Ladies and Gentlemen of the jury while we all agree that Captain Rogers has served his country faithfully it does not allow him to break the laws and statutes set forth by the United Nations. Therefore, the United States Government is asking for you to take these accounts into consideration. The Sokovia Accords lays out a course of action if and when the Avenger team is called upon. Steve Rogers did not take this into consideration when he gathered his team members to his side in order to save the war criminal James Barnes. Yes, this man sitting before you is capable of treason and much more.

Andy can see the veins in Steve’s hands’ contract as he squeezes them together in anger at the mention that Bucky is just a common war criminal. His jaw is set hard enough that it ticks with frustration. More mummers erupt again throughout the courtroom as jurors exchange glances between them. The sounding of a loud gavel erupts again over the gallery as the judge demands order in her courtroom and effectively ending the first day of the trial.

Court TV Reporter:  Smooths hands over outfit as makeup assistant touches up red lipstick “Today’s trial proceedings in the case of United States v Steve Rogers began with opening arguments.  Andy Barber who is the hot attorney for Rogers called his client a man of high moral integrity, while the prosecutor pointed out Rogers aided and abetted the war criminal James Barnes whose trial is slated to begin later this month.”  

Day 2: Prosecutor’s Witnesses:

The Prosecutor had started the day with calling their list of witnesses against Rogers. Those that had suffered some kind of loss from the actions taken by Captain Rogers and his team who ignored the sole purpose of what the Accords stood for.  Protecting the people of the world from rogue superheroes.

Court TV Reporter: Wearing navy sweater  “Day two of the trial against Captain America started off with the prosecution calling their witnesses. First to the stand being the mother of Charlie Spencer; the young man who was killed while in Sokovia doing volunteer work. Miriam Sharpe blames the loss of her son on the arrogance of the Avengers and their lack of realizing the consequences of their actions.

Their next witness Helmut Zemo went on record to state that due to the arrogance of the so called superhero Avengers he lost everything.  His wife, his son, his father, and his home; despite having them evacuate to his father’s home outside of the city caused by the level of destruction.

However, Defense Attorney Andy Barber questioned Zemo about his involvement in implicating James Barnes. He stated that because of Zemo’s actions he had led Mr. Barnes; an innocent man to be brainwashed by the very enemy that he and Captain Rogers fought during the great war. Questioning the integrity of this witness as well as revamping the events he had set forth in action made the count room buzz with activity. The judge had to regain control several times thus causing Mr. Barber to ask for a recess which has been granted until tomorrow.  It was evident from today’s proceedings that Andy Barber has his work cut out for him.”

***

It was evident that the day's proceedings had worn heavy on Steve’s mind and heart. Some of it made him rethink his own involvement in Sokovia and the loss it had caused.  Then a voice in the back of his mind perks up. A familiar voice that reminds him of why he took on the moniker of Captain America in the first place.

“The strong man who has known power all his life, may lose respect for that power, but a weak man knows the value of strength, and knows... compassion. Whatever happens, stay who you are, not just a soldier, but a good man.”

Steve looks at the window of the meeting room and blows out a frustrating breath. “You thinkin’ about jumping out the window?” Andy’s voice is both full of sarcasm and concern. Steve does not take his eyes from the window but decides to look down at the city street itself watching the cars pass.

“Naw, just thinking we are in the fight for our lives, at least mine. Do you think we have a chance at winning this case especially with the media circus?”

Andy straightens his brown tie and strides toward Steve. “The media might actually be helping your case. You have a lot of people that believe in you and what you stand for.”

“Maybe you’re right.” Steve watches as a crowd begins to gather outside of the courthouse holding signs. Some say ‘Free Captain America’ others are not as kind.

Steve really didn’t care about what the public thought of him, really he just wanted the trial to be over so he can either go on with being Captain America or be stripped of all responsibilities of being a superhero and just lead a normal life.  

Day3: Prosecutor’s Witnesses/Defense Witnesses:

Colonel James Rhodes was the last witness for the prosecutor. A hush fell over the chattery courtroom as Rhodes entered the room walking with the use of special designed braces made by the only Tony Stark.  

Steve’s heart sank the moment he saw his friend.  Rhodes was a good and honorable man and didn’t deserve the fate that he was served. Looking at his friend and how he was now partially paralized made him wonder if he shouldn’t be found guilty for treason.  The two teams were pitted against each other because both he and Tony were too stubborn to try and work through a compromise.  

He was more concerned for his lifelong friend and keeping him safe and it didn’t occur to him how his actions may affect the rest of his family.  

Court TV Reporter: smooths red dress and then begins report “The prosecutor has just rested his case against Steve Rogers, now it is up to the esteemed Andy Barber to defend Captain America to the jury. Natasha Romanoff was the first witness who spoke on behalf of Rogers. The famous Black Widow explained in detail how she had supported the Accords at first, but soon her mind was changed when faced with the idea that a war hero such as James Barnes could be guilty of the assissianation of Wakanda’s king.  She went on to explain how Steve had always placed the needs of others in front of his own.”

***

As the day ended on the third day, all Steve could think about was how his actions had hurt those most important to him.  Seeing Rhodes in braces come into the courtroom was too much for Steve to handle.

“Maybe we should just forget the case and I just turn myself in and accept the consequences.”

“No! We’ve come too far to just give up now.” Andy tried to reason with Steve to reassure him that he did the right thing. He placed his hands on Steve’s shoulders. Piercing blue eyes staring into the other man’s identical eyes.  It was almost like looking in a mirror.

Before they left the courthouse Andy made Steve agree to sleep on it and not make a rash decision to give up.  

Day 4: Defense Witnesses/Closing Arguments

The next day began as any other, however a somber mood had fallen over the courthouse. Andy had spent an hour reasoning with Steve about if he should take the stand. “It will either hurt your case or make them see the actual hero and man you are. There’s no inbetween. As your attorney, I think we should let the last witnesses testify and then decide whether or not to bring you to the stand.”

“Right now I’ll go with what you say, but if the jury needs to know I turned myself in and agreed to go on trial only as long as the rest of my team were released and their records erased,” Steve states pulling his long frame up from the chair.

“I’ll handle it in closing arguments. They will know where you stand.”  

Court TV Reporter: sporting red, white and blue blazer  “The fourth day of the trial has begun with hot Andy Barber leading the defense for Steve Rogers. The first witness being called today is Nick Fury, Commander of SHIELD. Commander Fury went on record defending Captain Steve Rogers’ impeccable service record.  Fury eyed the prosecution critically as he spoke about the numerous times Rogers had led his team through the dangers that the American public had no idea about due to national security. While the procustion tried to pressure Fury in answering detailed questions regarding specific cases, he calmly and tactfully told them in true Fury fashion that it was none of their business based on national security.

Based on the information Andy received he was fully prepared to handle Tony Stark as a hostile witness.

Tony walked up to stand and as he was sworn in he looked over at his long time friend and ally and took a deep breath.  Steve was and will always be his friend, no matter what happened in the past.  He could now see from Steve’s point of view after everything that has happened that the Accords would need a lot of fine tuning in order or any of them to continue to do what they did best. Save the world.

He had based his assessment of the Accords due to the attack at the U.N., Sokovia, Washington, and New York.  Yes maybe at the time they needed to have some accountability.  Someone to keep them in check, but after seeing what the division had done to him and the rest of the team; the family.  His anger fueled by the knowledge that The Winter Soldier was responsible for the death of his parents. Not understanding that Bucky had no control over what he’d done. The look on his face showed that. Showed the regret and guilt for what he had done.

***

Closing arguments Prosecution:  Ladies and gentlemen the only question in front of you today is if Steve Rogers is guilty of breaking the laws outlined within the Sokovia Accords. Whether he signed it or not has little consequence in this matter. The law is the law for humans and enhanced individuals. I employ you to look past his good nature and only at the facts. Captain Rogers helped cause a conflict among his teammates and aided and embedded James Barnes. With this information at hand you have only one choice to make, what should be done with this former American Hero.

Closing Arguments Defense: Ladies and gentlemen of the jury the only crime that has been committed is hindering this great man from doing his job, that of protecting the people of this nation as well as others from the threats of this world. We have seen attacks brought upon us in forms we cannot imagine. Now, Steve Rogers sits on trial for treason. Treason for what? Helping others and protecting them from the unrighteousness set into play by individuals and organizations who would harm our nation? Captain Rogers willingly turned himself into the government to be placed upon trial so the rest of his team would be released and their records erased. This is the sacrifice made by not a soldier but a good man. Overall, the prosecution has provided no evidence that this man should be found guilty of anything. This trial ladies and gentleman has been a joke, a witch hunt against a superhero defending the country and world.

A mummbring could be heard throughout the courtroom as the trail was turned over into the hands of the jury for deliberation. Steve now could only wait with Andy to see where his fate lay.

Day 5: Verdict

“Is it normal for a verdict to come in so soon?” Steve asks the guard as he quickly straightens his tie. Andy runs into the courthouse and meets Steve outside the courtroom once he heard the news that the jury had already come back with a decision.  With bated breath the two sat silently waiting for the jury to enter.

The foreman handed a piece of paper to the judge and the whole room went silent, it was like there was no one else in the room but him.  His heart raced and his palms sweat with anticipation. Whatever the outcome he would take his licks like had always done. He was a man of honor and integrity.  He had a deal.  His life for that of his team; his family.

***

Court TV Reporter: Sporting a red blazer and sharp blue paint suit. “Breaking news: a verdict has been reached in the trial against Captain Steve Rogers. We are waiting in anticipation for Andy Barber to address the press.” The camera pans to the courthouse steps where Andy walks out onto the steps.

“Mr. Barber, what was the outcome of the trial? Was Steve found innocent? Where is he? What is your impression of the prosecution? Will you appeal?” Questions rain down upon Andy like a storm.  

***

The trial was a whirlwind that seemed to end quickly. Speculations could be heard throughout the crowd that the outcome could not have been good for the jury to have come back with a verdict so quickly.  A hush fell over the crowd of reporters and onlookers from both sides.

“Captain Steve Rogers has been found innocent.” Andy began.  “Thank you to all the men and women of the jury that has found this man innocent of treason.  They found no evidence that Captain Rogers could be remotely capable of betraying his country.  Once again they have shown that this man is a man of true heroism.”

From the crowd you can hear one last question shouted towards Andy and Steve. “Either or both of you gentlemen free tonight?” Steve and Andy smirk.

[notcatherinemorland]

More Hamlet Thoughts because i leave everything to the 11th hour . production continues to be the 2018 globe w/ Michelle Terry

Hamlet and Ophelia’s uhhhhh fight 

Ham’s personality twists into cruel mockery of her at the line ‘Where’s your father’ and OHO the facial expressions

Ophelia kept trying to hold onto Hamlet’s hand and body and curl her fingers around hamlet’s hand and it was very heartbreaking . Hamlet was a ball of chaotic energy who scrabbled her hands off himself. rlly interesting to watch

this turned around with hamlet scrubbing over her face as he presents her to the audience’s 4th wall for the make up lines. and shoves her down to the floor at the end

the physical manipulation hamlet takes out on ophelia is a super interesting segue to the players scene

2 b / x 2 b

ham sat in the middle of the front of the stage and held the hand of an audience member who he talked he speech to. very intimate and closed and really interesting interpretation

im a nerd so i really like the juxtaposition of such a grand and philosophical speech being told on such an intimate and small scale

Hamlet’s still got his smudged clown makeup on

hamlet and horatio come across Very gay in the ‘something too much of this’ line. i vibe 

hamlet decimated his friendship with R&G and i LOVED how Horatio held him and then forced him away to give him just a touch more character. this Ht loved R&G as well and i appreciate the bit of character we all try to give horatio

Horatio’s Emotions over R&G’s impending death is a++ give this man some emotional range

OH the ‘if your mind dislike anything, obey it’ can we PLEASE listen to horatio the lone voice of reason within elsinor’s halls

that’s not me being gay, that’s a legit analysis of Hamlet in that everyone in Elsinor has a twisted sense of reality and morality and Horatio as an outsider is immune and must watch in horror

the argument is flawed with R&G but hey it’s not my theory.

THE TRUMPETS . there’s live trumpets 

the music they played to signal the half time of the play was wonderfully dissonant and i VIBE WITH THAT that is the ENERGY of Elsinor right there

honestly im annoying and i don’t particularly care for the play scene as an audience member. like academically the play within a play is rife with analysis but like. to just sit and watch it feels like such a halt in the energy

plus i really dislike it when they use gross physical comedy in the dumb-show because again. im annoying

anyway they only do the dumb-show (more tollerable than a lot) and they use drum beats and purcussion in place of lines, and have hamlet explain what’s going on with his lines. it’s certainly different and its a lot quicker than the text is

This Claudius is Prime Smarmy Politicians and is very indignant as he tries to pray and i REALLY LIKE HIM

The scene transitions are .. non existent in this play and i LIKE IT 

the lines follow on immediately between scenes as the other characters are leaving the stage 

i love how it supports the theme of acting this play has and how it breaks down the barrier for the audience of personal vs private 

thats not quite what i want to say uhhhhh. in other productions some of the scenes are really discreet from each other- like how pearl necklaces have stoppers between the pearls- and that’s especially evident in films, but here it’s the opposite and the scenes bleed into each other to create a really fast paced and chaotic energy and i REALLY LIKE IT

‘personal vs private’ is on god my favourite theme in hamlet and the way it works with the audience creating it here is GREAT

Closet scene... OH BOY

this hamlet is CRUEL oml 

the ghost enters after hamlet spends 3 minutes berating his mother and she’s crying on the floor by the audience and hamlet immediately stops and starts weeping 

‘oh save me’ sounds so small and childlike and it really showcases the love between them

not that kind of love, sigmund fucking freud. get your mind out the gutter

the disdain hamlet has for gertrude absolutely breaks my heart but that’s a me thing because i haven’t been able to see my mother in person for coming up on a month due to quarantine :(

added an extra hug before ham leaves .. v sweet

Claudius comes barreling in and picks up ham’s dropped sword. :eye emoji: doesn’t put it down until Hamlet’s brought in for questioning. but he’s still holding a book (english dictionary presumably?) and this act of holding a sword for 2 scenes WILL be reiterated time and time again in ever hamlet essay i write forever to whatever end i so desire because it’s easy to manipulate to my own purposes. bless this moment

There’s a seagull that keeps interrupting claudius at perhaps the funniest possible moments in his soliloquies and honestly WHERE is it’s Olivier

Ophelia’s madness isn’t as explicit as it is in other versions, but watching her tumble into emotions and lack of restraint is so, so heartbreaking.

this is one of the productions of hamlet that makes a really convincing case for ‘madness’ in elsinor being synonymous to speaking one’s mind and being truthful about one’s heightened emotions and like. i Love that interpretation

lets be real i love 99% of hamlet interpretations

the 1% is freud. fuck that guy

I’m Digging the parallel of Ophelia’s emotional outburts of grief (in madness) to Laertes incensed outburst of grief . ohoho

Laertes gets rosemary and pansies, Claudius gets fennel and columbines, Gertrude gets the rue, Audience member gets the daisy and the thought of violets

unfortunately i once wrote a shite poem about gertrude and weather she know of the poison in the cup at the end and unfortunately that’s all i can think about for the last 40 mins of the play hfdhgjgghjhgj

im annoying so i read along with the play and the duets Claudius and Laertes make of the meter and the word formatting on the page comes across really different on stage, which is super interesting. 

not to be really fucking dramatic but i read in the info packet of this play that the pillars on the stage are actually tree trunks carved and painted to look like marble and considering how many times i had to hear the words ‘appearance vs reality’ in my english class, i think im allowed to use the smirk emoji about how the setting of the globe is Integral to Hamlet as a play

i am itching to write an entire 4000 word tirade about the use of the physical body in hamlet because between the actual acting on stage, polonius, ‘one auspicious and one dropping eye’ and all whole host of references made to physical body parts i am going feral 

PLUS this one incorporates sign language 

i actually hate the word incorporates but needs must  

The Ophelia’s death speech is of course wonderful, but i can’t stop thinking about how John Everett Millais made his model (who’s name escapes me in a terrible irony because i got this information from an exhibition about the female pre-raphalites) sit in a cold bath for hours on end whilst he sketched and it made her very ill because the fire went out and she was sat nude in a bath of cold water for hours.

Gravedigger only has the songs and the hamlet interaction, and he wears a high vis jacket. he’s also played by the ghost’s actor, which whilst understandable in such a small cast, amuses me greatly

Hamlet’s got his hair tied back and in a military style jacket, and marches around with Horatio who’s in a hoodie and a black duffle coat (absolutely a student) and the same tight plait. Ham’s definitely meant to be sane now, he speaks very brusquely and all but marches around the stage

Not To Make An Edelgard Reference But edelgard’s cause in 3H was also cemented by a timeskip and a military outfit and a brusque personality hehehe 

Hamlet gets into the ‘grave’ to chat to Yorick which, again, i will use in every relevant essay i will write and manipulate this scene to whatever end i desire and on god i thank this production for this 

a level me would have gone feral

current me is also going feral

Grave Scene: a terrible one for your family to walk in and ask what the fuck you’re watching

Polonius’ actor plays the priest. yes, capsule wardrobe of a cast, i know but i’m an english student it’s my duty to wring every irrational inch of analysis out of this thing

i won’t trail on about unsubstaniated interpretations of Polonius’ parenting skills and fate in Hamlet but on god i will find an essay about it

i always enjoy it when someone leaps in the grave .. the melodrama... the meaning... the liminal spaces...

the DRAMA of seperating feral laertes and the really calm and imposing hamlet is excellent and a bit hilarious and the camera is going nuts

i’m very aware that everyone is now traipsing about over the grave in the middle of the stage and THAT’S a fun dynamic you don’t get from film or text

ok I’ve just noticed the video has the ‘top chat replay’ going and the very first line i saw is ‘what if hamlet had tiktok’ and i am CRYING 

Ophelia’s actor also plays Osric and is a) absolutely hilarious and b) again, capsule wardrobe of a cast will not stop me from analysing everything and anything this play may or may not offer me. 

im not saying hamlet is a play about inheritance and the burden of it, but also... isn’t it :eye emoji:

if bloody fire emblem fates can do it so can i, step off

Fencing scene: oh thank god it’s nearly over

The hearts on their fencing get ups parallel Hamlet’s clown outfit with a heart on the sleeve Very Nicely

Gertrude isn’t wearing her headpiece anymore .. ohoho dispelling the trappings and suits of dishonesty, if you will

The duel is a) bloody terrifying because sword fighting and b) judged by Osric (Ophelia) and the poetry of having ham & lae’s duel waged over and judged by Ophelia is absolutely excellent

Claudius’s aside (or to laertes? camera didn’t follow) had no right to be as humorous as it was jdfsghfkd

Gertrude figured out it was poison in this one. Nice

I like the call and response effect of ‘Treachery! Seek it out! / It is here Hamlet’ they made with Hamlet running around they stage to find little propped up Laertes

The dramatic eye contact of Hamlet and Claudius as he forces him to drink the poison.... OH HECK YES 

the way they sink to the floor in a pair, with hamlet crawling over his body to make sure he dies... oh LORD 

the swing hamlet does with his arm to the audience to cast them as ‘the unsatisfied’ was EXCELLENT and i would like that in every production of hamlet please 

the tussle of horatio and hamlet over the cup..... iconic.... and i enjoy the parallel of that to hamlet with claudius as they’re stood in the same corner 

The harsh projection of Hamlet’s voice and the blunt manner of his words about Fortinbras’ inheritance of denmark against the soft way Horatio rocks Hamlet back and forth ... i want to CRY

Horatio got to have emotional range in this production .. wonderful

i always enjoy the way the play tails off with politics in a room of dead bodies.. the layers the absolute onions

how none of the drama within the castle has any meaning to anyone outside of it is Excellent 

and then the way the prison and enclosure of elsinor is finally broken with military force in parallel to the tumultuous interpersonal relationships within it... i vibe yet more

they actually ended with ‘go bid the soldiers shoot’ which i enjoy a lot!!!! and the music is wonderful

then they all start doing this dance which i think is meant to be about the themes of the play and to be perfectly honest it’s a bit crunchy for me but the music absolutely slaps!!!

final thoughts:

that sure was a hamlet production and i thought it had a lot of heart and did some new things very very well!!!

and i loved the emphasis they put on the costuming!!!! 

overall: a solid hamlet. very nice. i greatly enjoyed it!!!! 

[rebelminxy]

Cosplay Surprise

Pairing: Jared Padalecki x PlusSize!Reader

Trope: Slutty Costume

Word Count: 2458

Rating: Mature for the design of the costume

Summary: There is a Halloween party going on at one of the conventions, and this will be the first time everyone from set sees the reader in their element when it comes to costumes. Might even reveal a secret she’s been hiding for a while. 

A/N: In this piece, Jared isn’t married to Gen. This is purely written for fictional use and in no way meant to disrespect the Padalecki family. I send them my best regards and love.  This was written for @supernaturaltropecelebration​ Halloween Edition.  Pictures are not mine, found on Pinterest.

     (Y/N) stood in front of her full-length mirror, debating if she should really go through with this costume or go with plan B, which was a simple Catwoman costume. She took in a deep breath and reminded herself that she promised Jessica Nigri that she would join her and the girls in the cosplay. It wasn’t the fact that she was a big, curvy girl that made her nervous, she was used to dressing the way she was for the camera. Her issue was the brand new relationship she was in with the very well known TV star Jared Padalecki and how this side of her was something she never expected to reveal to him, let alone what she did before her job on set as a special effects artist. 

     Before getting her dream job, (Y/N) used to model. It wasn’t the typical, run of the mill modeling, walking down runways. No, what she would do is create sexy, barely covering the important parts, cosplay outfits and take pictures of herself in different poses. She would then post one or two on her Instagram page and the rest would be sold via a Patreon page she had, where she had different memberships and each member had a different value of packaging. And yes, there were online trolls that called her and her friends, like Jessica, sluts and attention whores. But she ignored them because she loved being able to create all these costumes by hand. She even would purchase cosplay items or outfits from different creators just to give them a shout out and help them with their business, hoping the community could grow. She would even auction off certain costumes or accessories and donate that money to a charity of her fanbase’s choice. Simply put, if she hadn’t gotten her dream job, she would have continued doing what she loved.

      (Y/N) took in a second deep breath and decided to stick to her costume. She did put a lot of work into it like she always did to every cosplay she had made herself. She just hoped Jared would be ok with it. They were currently at a Supernatural convention and Jared wanted to use this event to announce their relationship to the fandom. They had been dating for a couple of months, only coworkers and very close friends knowing about their relationship. But when Jared asked her to be his girlfriend officially, the first thing that worried her was the fandom’s reaction. Danneel assured (Y/N) that everything would be fine, but (Y/N) wasn’t so sure about that.

     The ride to the convention hall where the party was at was a long one, (Y/N) making sure her costume was perfect. Even with the fear of Jared judging her after tonight, she still didn’t want to let her online fans down. The car stopped at the back entrance where everyone was told to go through and (Y/N) was so happy to see Jessica standing by the door, phone in hand. (Y/N) climbed out of the car and when she shut the door, Jessica looked up and smiled widely at her. 

“Wow, woman!” Jessica exclaimed as she stood up straight, watching (Y/N) climb the stairs. “You still got it, girl! I still can’t understand why you stopped doing the cosplays and closing your Patreon.”

“I couldn’t do that AND work on a tv show set without someone finding out about that life,” (Y/N) responded quietly.

“Didn’t the guy that hired you said he wanted you because to the cosplay work you’ve done?” Jessica asked as she opened the door for both of them to enter.

“Yeah but that information stayed between us and the two other heads of the makeup department.”

“It’s not like you were doing porn or something,” Jessica shrugged as she walked a bit ahead.

“It’s borderline and you know it woman,” (Y/N) huffed in annoyance. “Plus, it's not something you throw on a resume.”

“You got your dream job because of it.”

“Yeah, and now I’m dating one of the faces of the show and I’ve told you how the fandom can get,” (Y/N) said angrily, pulling Jessica by the arm to stop and face her. “Do you remember what happened to that actress that played the character Lisa on the show? And that was just a character!”

     (Y/N) let Jessica go and turned away from her, pulling out her phone to call a cab.

“This was a mistake, I should have just gone with the cat woman costume and hoped no one would recognize me. I’m heading back to the hotel to change.”

“No, you’re not!” Jessica exclaimed, grabbing (Y/N)’s phone. “You shouldn’t be ashamed of your talent. Not only can you make a costume from scratch but your makeup and special effects skills are flawless. Top it off with one sexy body and a great personality, and Jared can call himself one lucky son of a bitch.”

“He won’t once he finds out about my old Patreon and sees the pictures. You know what some people call us for doing those pictures. It’s one thing to see an online troll say it, it’s another when there could be a big possibility that the man that I’m falling for will think the same thing.”

“(Y/N), the man adores you!” Jessica exclaimed as she caressed her friend's cheek. “Just go in there with me and you will see. Yeah, it will be a surprise for him to find out his hot girlfriend used to pose half-naked in sexy cosplay outfits for paying fans, but he won’t judge you for it.”

     (Y/N) looked at Jessica and smiled weakly. She nodded her head and hugged Jessica, the silent thank you being made. Jessica pulled (Y/N) by the hand and guided her down the hall to the main door where the party was being held. There were two guards there and when both girls showed their invites, the guards opened the doors.

“Ready, babe?” Jessica asked, holding (Y/N)’s hand tightly.

“Ready as I'll ever be,” (Y/N) responded, standing straight and shaking herself mentally.

     Jessica walked in first with (Y/N) right behind. The girls strutted their way through the crowd over to their other friends who were jumping where they stood in excitement. (Y/N) smiled widely at them but froze when she heard a voice call out to her. She could suddenly feel his presence right behind her, causing her to turn around to see Jared standing there in his Nightwing costume. Jensen, his wife Danneel, and Misha were with him as well. All four friends eyed (Y/N) up, especially Jared. Once his eyes landed on hers, his face went serious, making (Y/N) cringe internally, ready for any outburst.

“What are you wearing, baby?” Jared asked slowly.

     (Y/N) looked down at herself once more to make sure everything was perfect. She and the girls decided to cosplay as the group K/DA, her character being Akali. But instead of the outfit Akali wore in the music video, she went with her usual twist. She wore a black push up bra that lifted her breasts up, white cloth sewn in the front to look like the top Akali wears in the video. The leather jacket she wore was an exact replica from the music video but she wore it off her shoulders, revealing the lines of paint on her skin. She wore a pair of skin-tight black leather pants with a white belt around her waist. The pants were cut like the video, one normal length leg and another cut short, but instead of the smaller cut starting at the top of her thigh, she cut it smaller as if it were underwear, which barely covered her buttcheek. She wore a black knee-high stocking on the leg that wasn’t covered by the pants, and her shoes were a pair of all-black six-inch converse heels she got specially made for the costume, which had a gold and white buckle at the very top and white laces. She wore a long purple wig styled up in Akali’s signature ponytail in the video and the signature black cap with gold K/DA sewn into it. To top the entire look, she had a black face mask with the scary demon mouth painted on the cloth, which she had hanging from her neck, and her exposed skin had the same designs Akali had painted on her when she glowed in the dark.

“It’s my costume. Jessica and the girls have been planning this cosplay with me for a couple of months now and since I was coming here…..” (Y/N) slightly stuttered before suddenly being pulled by Jared through the crowd and out the party room. 

     He didn’t stop until he found an empty hallway, letting her hand go. (Y/N) leaned against a wall, dreading what he was going to say. But he stayed silent, so she spoke up.

“This isn’t new for me, you know. I used to wear this kind of stuff before my job on Supernatural,” she mumbled before standing straight and facing his back, ready for what she was going to say. “I mean, this is what I used to do for work. I would create costumes like this and get pictures taken to sell to my fanbase, on my Patreon. That’s how Jessica and I met. She helped me grow by inviting me to join her panels at cons she would do and do photoshoots with her.”

     Jared still didn’t turn around to look at her, so she continued.

“I loved it, Jare. Still, do and, if it wasn’t for my job on Supernatural, I would probably still do it. I love being creative. I love that, somehow, I helped and motivated some girls to be comfortable in their own skin and be able to admit how sexy they can be, no matter what society deems sexy. I loved it, not for the attention, but for the small changes I was able to do and put my work out there.”

“I already knew about all that,” Jared mumbled as he turned around to face (Y/N). 

“You did,” (Y/N) gasped, taking a step back in surprise.

“Obviously, this isn't something you could hide forever. To be honest, I knew the first day you joined us on set.”

“You WHAT?”

“Yeah, umm,” Jared chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck. “A cousin of mine was one of your Patreon members and he had shown me the last set of pictures you sent out. He was sad you quit. You looked so different but I could still see it was you. The glasses and baggy clothes, plus you never mentioned that stuff to anyone so I assumed you didn’t want people to know.”

“Yet, you asked me out, knowing those pictures were out there?!” she exclaimed, throwing her arms up in the air.

“(Y/N), that doesn’t matter to me. What you did before we met won’t change how I feel about you. Plus, I had my moments of pride knowing that everyone’s dream girl was actually with me.”

     They both laughed at his last statement, (Y/N) holding her stomach from the pain of laughter. Jared then pulled her into a tight hug, placing a kiss on her shoulder. 

“I love you for you. What took me by surprise was seeing you like this. It’s one thing to see you in pictures, another in person.”

“I love you too, Jare,” (Y/N) whispered back. They stood in silence for a moment before (Y/N) spoke up. “So, does it bother you people out there have pictures of me in revealing positions?”

“To be honest, no. They have pictures, I have the real thing,” Jared responded with a wide smile before leaning down to kiss her deeply. 

     (Y/N) moaned into the kiss, her arms reaching around his neck to pull him as close as humanly possible, mentally admiring the man. Jared ended the kiss too quickly for (Y/N)’s taste, but what Jared said next made her almost drop to the floor in laughter.

“I did have to take every single picture of yours from my cousin, though. I don’t mind complete strangers but my cousin, it just seemed weird. Bet he will have a heart attack once he finds out who you are and that you are my girlfriend.”

     Jared laughed along with (Y/N), walking back to the party hand in hand. Before they went inside, (Y/N) pulled at Jared’s hand and looked up at him, the worry written on her face yet again.

“What about the fandom?” she asked softly. “How will they take it all once we tell them about us?”

“I doubt they will judge you,” Jared answered, placing a hand against her cheek. “They will love you and hey, maybe they will want a few pointers when it comes to costume design and makeup if they see your pictures.”

     They both giggled and (Y/N) leaned up for a chaste kiss before they moved to go back inside. Once they were inside, Jessica and the girls, Jensen, Danneel and Misha crowded around them. Danneel admired (Y/N)’s costume while Misha and Jensen secretly congratulated Jared on his lucky catch. Even other cast members and crew that were at the party came up to (Y/N) admiring and applauding her costume. After an hour in, Jessica came over to (Y/N) and whispered something in her ear. She nodded her head fast and kissed Jared on the cheek, telling him to get as close to the stage as possible, before following Jessica.

     Both girls went behind the stage, their two other friends waiting behind the black curtain that was behind the DJ. They all got into position and (Y/N) shook her arms and legs from nerves. She felt a hand on her shoulder and looked to the side to see Jessica smiling, giving her a wink and a thumbs-up, silently letting her know she had this. None of them could sing, but they did lip-sync and dance to the song once at a convention, costumes provided to them.

     That’s when she heard the DJ present them to the crowd and the curtain raised. (Y/N) looked into the crowd and saw Jared standing right in front with a big smile on his face, causing her to smile right back. She lifted her mask over her mouth just as the song “POP/STARS” started to play, ready to show her new friends exactly what she was made of.

[kin-kendry]

A Kiss in the Dark Part 1

AO3 (Part 2 included)

“You ready for our set?” Dutch asked her twin as she entered the dressing room.

“Yes, I’m ready, Yala,” Aneela answered.

“Don’t call me that in front of the girls… Anyway, thanks again for helping us out. Clara busted her prosthetic, so she’s out of commission until Alice is fixed.”

“It’s alright, it’s fun to play something different every once in a while,” Aneela said, looking at her sister through the mirror’s reflection. “How do I look?”

She finished her makeup and turned around, showing off her outfit to her twin. Dutch always found it a novelty when her sister put on her clothes. She picked out a pair of ripped black jeans, a tattered cropped top, heeled boots, and various accessories. The only thing that wasn’t different to what Aneela usually wore was her dark makeup.

“You look exactly like me. Funny that,” Dutch laughed. “You look great, now come on. We’re on in five.”

The twins headed over to the stage where the rest of Un-Ladylike Lucy were waiting. Pawter was warming up her voice, while Zeph was on stage double checking their equipment. Yoki was chatting to her girlfriend Clara, who was wearing just a regular prosthetic rather than Alice.

“Alright fuckers, we good to go?” Dutch asked.

“Yeah, we’re ready,” Zeph came back and gave a thumbs up.

Everyone headed on stage which earned cheering from the raucous crowd in the Royale. Un-Ladylike Lucy was popular in the queer punk scene, and they often had gigs in various queer friendly spaces. Dutch took her place front and centre, Pawter stood behind the mic off to stage left, Aneela took the right side with her bass, Zeph situated herself behind her keyboard, and Yoki took a seat at her drum kit.

“Hello all you beautiful freaks! I hope you’re having a fucking fantastic night so far. It’s about to get a hell of a lot better. One, two, three, four!” Dutch yelled into the mic, and the band jumped right into their first song of the night.

Every time Aneela played with the band, it always surprised the other members at how well she seemed to adapt to their style of music. Aneela was a fairly well known classically trained musician and singer, mostly playing the violin, piano, and a mix of woodwind and brass instruments. So, seeing her play in a punk rock band was very off brand. While she had no formal training on bass guitar, it wasn’t that hard for her to pick up. She actually enjoyed playing it whenever she had the chance to experiment.

Aneela was always enamoured by the energy of the crowds at these gigs, how unrestrained and free everyone became. She liked being a part of that, liked to shed her more elegant, professional persona in favour of letting loose a little. She appreciated her sister’s enthusiasm and passion for this type of music.

By the end of the set, the crowd was deafening, all cheering and chanting. They made their way off stage and Clara was waiting with a big smile.

“You guys killed it!”

“Thanks, babe,” Yoki said as she walked over and kissed her girlfriend. “Although I missed flirting with you on stage.”

“Get a room,” Pawter laughed.

“Planning on it,” Clara flipped her friend off.

“Good stuff out there, as usual,” Dutch smiled at her sister.

“Yeah, it’s kinda trippy that you play bass too,” Zeph remarked.

“Well, once you learn one instrument, it’s pretty easy to pick up others,” Aneela shrugged.

“Not all of us went to university to study music, you know?” Clara rolled her eyes and smiled.

“Shut it, yeah? Let’s grab a drink. On me,” Dutch announced and herded her girls to the bar.

They crowded around the bar where their friend Pree was working. Clara and Yoki lit up when they saw their girlfriend Olli waiting for them.

“You came!”

“Of course I did, wouldn’t miss it for the world. Dutch, your sister is pretty killer on bass. Mind if I poached her for my band every once in a while?” Olli grinned.

“While I’d love to, I really only do this for Ya- I mean, Dutch,” Aneela smiled.

“Shame. If you ever change your mind you should hit me up.”

“We’re literally right here, Olli.”

“I swear I’m not flirting!”

“Anyway, enough of your little lover’s quarrel. Let’s get fucked up!” Dutch said as she leaned over the bar to greet Pree.

Moments later they all had shots in front of them. Aneela didn’t partake, and instead opted for a glass of red wine. While she enjoyed the music and the atmosphere, Aneela wasn’t a huge fan of the whole partying aspect. While the band was getting shit-faced and making fools of themselves, Aneela kept herself confined to the bar. 

She watched Dutch dance with anyone willing to give her the time of day. Zeph had been cornered by a rather intimidating goth, dominatrix type woman who was very intent on kissing her. Clara, Yoki, and Olli had snagged a booth and were all over each other. Pawter had found her boyfriend Johnny and was more focused on kissing him than worrying about the people jostling them from all sides.

Pree kept Aneela entertained for the better part of an hour before a stunning woman in a gorgeous purple dress took a seat at the bar not too far away from her. Her hair was pinned up in an elegant bun, with a couple of tendrils framing her face. Aneela was instantly drawn. She looked so out of place among the rest of the people in the bar. Her eyes tracked down the woman’s body, following the curves of her body and down her legs. She really liked the stilettos she wore, she could probably kill someone with those.

“If you’re going to stare you might as well buy me a drink,” The woman spoke, her head tilted slightly towards Aneela.

Their eyes locked and Aneela swore she could get lost in them. The pretty woman raised a brow at her admirer. Aneela smirked.

“Pree, give this lovely lady whatever she wants, on me,” Aneela didn’t break eye contact even as she moved to the seat next to the woman. “So, what brings you to this fine establishment?”

“Fine is a bit of a stretch,” The woman laughed and took a sip of the wine she ordered. “My cousin dragged me here after a family dinner. He and his boyfriend are in one of the bands playing tonight. This isn’t exactly my scene.”

“And what is your scene?”

“Something a little less damaging on the ears, for a start. I prefer music with a little more… Sophistication.”

“You don’t think punk is a sophisticated genre?” Aneela offered her own raised brow.

“It’s just noise and people banging on their instruments. I’d hardly call that sophisticated. Shit, you were in one of the bands, weren’t you? With your twin, right? I probably shouldn’t shit-talk your kind of music.”

“Go right ahead. I’m not that invested in the genre. I really only help my sister out when she’s down a member.”

“Well, I can’t deny that you do look good in those clothes,” The woman let her eyes roam over Aneela’s body, much like Aneela had done to her previously. “So, if punk isn’t your usual style, what is?”

“Oh, I dabble in a bit of everything, I suppose. Classical and jazz are what I went to university for.”

“Seriously? You went to university to study music?”

“Why is that so surprising? Just because I play in my sister’s band and dress like this on occasion?”

“I suppose I shouldn’t judge a book by its cover, but I’m not quite convinced,” The woman took another sip of her wine.

Oh, she is fun, Aneela thought.

“You don’t believe me?” She asked, leaning in closer to her companion. “Maybe I could show you.”

“Mm, that sounds like a very tempting offer but I’m not that easy, sweetheart,” The woman smirked.

Every second Aneela spent with this woman, the more intrigued she was by her. She desperately wanted to know her, to indulge in her, and worship her. It had been a while since she felt like this, but this woman wouldn’t just be another one night stand. No, there was so much more to her that Aneela wanted to uncover.

“Are you sure? I have a rather pretty name you could be moaning later tonight,” Aneela reached out and traced her fingertips along the woman’s forearm resting on the bar.

The woman’s eyes slipped closed for a moment, relishing in the teasing contact. She moved her fingers up higher and higher, ghosting over her shoulder and grazing her neck. The woman leaned into Aneela’s touch which only made her smirk. She traced her jawline before using her finger to tilt the woman’s head towards her.

“Delle,” The woman finally spoke once she opened her eyes again. “My name is Delle.”

“My, what a pretty name for such a pretty woman,” Aneela’s quiet words were barely audible over the pounding music coming from the stage. “I’m Aneela.”

“Aneela,” The way her name rolled off Delle’s tongue made it sound so exotic. 

The pull between them was irresistible. They inched closer and closer until their lips were mere millimetres apart. Red lips met with black in a slow exchange, a gentle give and take. It left both women breathless by the time they parted, gazing into each others eyes.

“I think I’d like to take you up on that offer now,” Delle whispered, the soft puffs of breath caressing Aneela’s lips.

“It would be my pleasure.”

[dellartes-blog]

Character Development: Zanni

BASICS -

1. Height? 5’5

2. Eye colour? White

3. Do they need glasses? No

4. Scars and birthmark? Has a few scars along her body due to the odd bit of fighting she’s gotten herself into. There are many faded scars along her fingers and hands, earned through practising her knife play. There’s also a little mole under her right eye, though it is hidden under the mask she wears.

5. Tattoos and piercings? Only has her ears pierced, never wears earrings when in her main form however.

6. Right or left handed? Ambidextrous babey 

7. Any disabilities? Physical or mental. Does have PTSD from what happened before she left Kaivras. She won’t admit that it still bothers her to this day.

8. Do they have any allergies? None that she’s aware of.

9. Favourite colour? Saffron

10. Typical outfits? Often keeps to wearing black and white, and is always wearing her mask when in her original form.

here’s a very rough sketch of what i imagine her wearing, still trying to get her design down tho

11. Do they wear any makeup? No.

12. What weapon do they use, if any? Her daggers. Prefers to throw them but will use them in close quarters when necessary.

PERSONALITY -

13. Are they more optimistic or pessimistic? Pessimistic.

14. Are they introverted or extroverted? Depends on what the situation calls for. She does prefer to observe people rather than interact with them.

15. What are their pet peeves? Needless mess and clutter

16. What bad habits do they have? Reaching for her daggers when nervous, even when they aren’t present. Letting a Mask manifest itself when she feels a strong emotion, this hasn’t happened in a long time, as she’s managed to suppress her emotions over the years. Although on the rare occasion a Mask will sneak up on her.

17. Do they have any phobias? Dislikes open spaces of water.

18. How do they display affection? Being more willing to help and involve herself with other people. She isn’t one for openly showing her affection with words or with physical contact, she’d rather have her actions speak for her. Then again it’s rare that she’s affectionate with anyone these days.

19. How competitive are they? While she won’t admit to it, Zanni can get very competitive, she enjoys a good challenge.

20. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be? Nothing so far, besides she can change herself at will if need be.

21. Do they have any obscure hobbies or routines? Will practice her knife play when bored, likes to juggle them to pass the time.

BACKSTORY -

22. What are the names and ages of their close family members? Parents, siblings, etc. Her mother will now be 46, she’s a Changeling woman name Tisk. They have never been close, as their relationship was strained at best. Zanni doesn't know who her father is, and has never cared to find out.

23. Is their family alive and are they still in contact with them? When Zanni began to work as an entertainer for various nobles at 19, she kept her contact with her mother to a minimum. The last time she wrote to her mother was almost a year before she had to leave Kaivras. It’s unknown if Tisk is still alive, but on the rare occasion Zanni does wonder.

24. Where are they from? City, nation? Born in Druakhull, Kaivras.

25. Did they have a childhood best friend? As a young child, Zanni would sometimes play with the children of the nobles that employed her mother. A notable friendship was with a young elven boy, who found Zanni’s ability to change her appearance fascinating. 

26. Have they had any pets? No, many of the nobility didn’t permit the servants to keep pets. 

27. Did they grow up rich or poor? What were their living conditions like? Zanni wouldn’t describe herself as poor, as working as a servant did provide living conditions - however the servants quarters could vary from pleasant to inhabitable. 

28. What is their educational background? She was taught how to read and write. Nothing more formal beyond that. When it comes to her work as an entertainer, it was mostly self taught.

29. As a child, what did they want to be when they grew up? Zanni always figured that she’d just remain a servant, so she never really allowed herself to think about such things.

30. What advice would they give to their younger self? “Don’t be so trusting. Also, be careful around knives.”

31. Growing up, were they ever bullied or were they the bully Sometimes children would tease Zanni from time to time, as she was born into servitude. Zanni however never cared much for it.

32. Who do they look up to/who is their role model? For a short time, she looked up to her mother. As she got older, and their relationship worsened, Zanni never really had anyone to look up to.

PRESENT -

33. Do they currently have a place of residence? Nowhere permanent, she often bounces from tavern to tavern.

34. What is their most treasured possession? The black mask that she often wears, it was a gift from the last house she worked for before leaving Kaivras.

35. What is their drink of choice? Chamomile tea

36. Which king/queen are they loyal to, if any? None of them. While on the run she may have assisted Kaivras, and by extension Queen Ivana, she doesn’t care for them. She thinks they’re all as foolish as each other.

37. Have they ever killed anyone? Yes. Made quite a habit out of it too it seems.

38. What was their last promise and did they keep it? Zanni only ever makes a promise when it’s to complete a job or task given to her. So far she hasn’t disappointed.

LOVE -

39. What was their first kiss like, if they’ve had one? Her first kiss was short and sweet, one of the rare impulsive things she’s done. It was a nice surprise to feel her lady kiss back.

40. Are they in a relationship/have a love interest? Not at present.

41. Have they ever been in love? Yes, to be valued as a person was very new and exciting.

42. Have they ever had their heart broken? Seeing the disgust and fear in her Lady’s eyes after having killed her brother damn near made Zanni sick to her stomach. I mean this was self inflicted heart break but it still hurt all the same.

SPIRITUALITY -

43. Do they follow a god, if so who? She isn’t overtly religious, but she does revere the Traveller. They’re the reason why Changelings exist after all.

44. What do they think happens to them after death? While she isn’t certain of what happens in the afterlife, Zanni does reckon she will be judged by whatever powers that be. She knows she won’t end up somewhere good.

45. What is their spirit animal? When I think of Zanni I think of a mouse for some odd reason, so she’s spiritually a mouse now.

[kumkaniudaku]

Trick and Treat

A/N: The first of two Halloween one shots. Enjoy. 

“C’mon and ease on down, ease on down, down the road! Don’t you carry nothing that might be a load…”

Songs from “The Wiz” oozed from the Bluetooth speaker positioned at the edge of your vanity as you put the finishing touches on a simple scarecrow makeup look from Pinterest. From the corner of your eye, you caught a glimpse of Micah attempting to mimic Michael Jackson’s iconic cross foot shuffle only to get her feet tangled before crashing to the ground with an amused giggle.

“Mommy’s sorry she passed down her two left feet to you, baby. Trust me, it gets better.”

“For her, sure. The jury is still out on you.”

You rolled your eyes with a small smirk as Chadwick rounded the corner into the closet carrying the co-star of the Halloween Night Show in his adorable costume. For months you spent time brainstorming the perfect family costume that would proudly stand next to the couple’s costumes that Chadwick planned for the adult parties. Separate events saw you and Chadwick as Dwayne Wayne and Whitley Gilbert before transitioning into outfits that resembled Michael Jackson and Iman’s ‘Remember the Time’ get up. Though your husband had set the bar high for the family costume, you knew just what to do.

Micah had been obsessed with The Wiz from the moment she heard ‘You Can’t Win,” often begging to watch it multiple times a week. So, it came as no surprise when she was firm in her decision to be Dorothy for Halloween at school. The idea carried over into the house, and with four members of the family, the idea fit like a glove.

“Hush, Tin Man. How’s my mean ol’ lion,” you cooed, allowing Chadwick to carefully place Noah in your arms.

“He’s been mean alright. He refused to take a nap while you and Mikey went out for candy, and now he’s cranky.”

“Not my baby. He’s never cranky. Can you give mommy a biiiiiig lion’s roar?” Noah stirred in your arms, peering up at you through hooded eyes before opening his mouth to let out a long yawn and whimper that let you know he was close to tears if he couldn’t go to sleep soon.

Chadwick released a hushed snicker at your expense, “Yeah, that was a huge lion’s roar. Good job, AJ. Maybe we should just, you know, stay home.” Chadwick’s suggestion came with a tug at the uncomfortable collar around his neck. He was attempting a last ditch effort to stay at home to avoid being seen in public as a six foot, dark-skinned tin man.

“I don’t care if he sleeps the entire time, we’re taking Micah Trick or Treating for at least an hour.”

“But, baby -”

“Don’t ‘baby’ me!”

“Okay, then I’ll Tasha you. Look at me. I look like a baked potato. I can’t go out like this.”

“You look shiny like a pretty diamond, Daddy,” Micah chimed in. The thought of her father not holding her hand as she pranced down the street in her custom, ruby-colored shoes forced the corners of her lips to sag into a frown. “Don’t you wanna go get candy with me?”

Chadwick looked between his twin and you, shooting you a glare when he caught you wiping a satisfied smirk from your face. He was no longer in a position to back out, and both of you knew it.

Releasing a deep breath, Chadwick kneeled down to speak to his pride and joy.

“I don’t wanna do anything else but take you to get candy, Princess. Are you excited?”

“Yes! I wanna get all the candies! Especially the chocolates!”

“Especially the chocolates,” he laughed. “Hey, how about you go grab your bag and wait downstairs for me with I talk to your Mama? Can you do that for me, Dorothy?”

“Yes, sir!” The soft click of her hard bottom ballet flats striking the hardwood floors faded with each second until only silence hung in the large walk-in closet. The sweet twinkle in his eye from seeing Micah smile was quickly replaced by a hard glare in your direction that tried to ignore.

“You can stand there and pout all you want, Coffee Can. I’m not giving you any attention,” you warned him with your back turned as you secured Noah’s noise-canceling headphones against his sensitive ears.

“It’s all good, Co. One day, you’re gonna wanna take a sip of this coffee and the answer will be no.”

“Yeah right! You know you want a little cream for your coffee!” Turning to face him, you found him ending his visual journey across your backside with a smirk.

“That’s tempting, baby, but I’m vegan. No cream in this coffee. Coconut milk only.”

“Oh so, you’re Michael now. You’re canceled. Get out of here.”

If not for the barrier covering his ears, Chadwick’s boisterous laughter would have startled Noah from his sleep.

“You can’t cancel this black man, T!”

                                   ---------------

“Micah, what are the rules for trick or treating,” Chadwick asked as the group approached the first house on the block.

“Stay close to Mommy and Daddy, don’t eat the candy until we get home, and say please and thank you every time.”

“Good job. That’s my girl.”

Your usually quiet Los Feliz neighborhood was now teeming with youth of every age dressed in a range of costumes from adorable to downright scary. 

As a child, your mother never allowed Halloween themed activities. If you and Tiana weren’t stuffed in the back of her station wagon and carted off to the nearest Hallelujah Festival, you were forced to stay at home and watch your friends return with buckets overflowing with treats. With that memory in mind, you promised yourself that you would give your children the opportunity to at least experience the cultural activity.

What you hadn’t accounted for was the type of neighborhood you would live in. Never did you imagine to be the ethnic minority on your street. The amount of full-sized candy bars casually left on doorsteps with instructions to only take one was astounding. Even more shocking were the looks you all received as one of a few black families in search of spooky treats.

You and Chadwick would’ve welcomed family photos with open arms if he meant that it would replace the occasional shocked stares from your neighbors further down the street.

Approaching the first house seemed to set the tone for the evening. With her afro puffs swinging in the wind, Micah nearly drug her father to the front porch to test her award-winning trick or treat song and smile.

“Oh, and look at you,” the older white woman gushed. “I’ve never seen a brown Dorothy before! And look at your hair. So wild!”

“Excuse me,” you blurted, earning a look from Chadwick.

Before Chadwick could offer the woman a much more civilized response to the woman’s ill-mannered remark, Micah took the lead.

“My Daddy says my hair grows to the sky like a crown made by God. This is how it’s ‘posed to look.”

All within earshot stood with their mouths agape at the class exhibited by a child that was missing most of her front teeth and not old enough to understand the ignorant undertones directed at her appearance. You, on the other hand, stood tall. All of the confidence you and Chadwick had worked to instill in her from the moment she was born had manifested into a reality tv show caliber read.

“Well...I guess your Daddy is right. Would you, um - would you like Snickers or Twix,” the woman asked, obviously flustered by Micah’s response.

The six-year-old gladly accepted the shiny gold wrapper housing two sticks of chocolate before adding a chipper thank you and grabbing her father’s hand for the journey to the next house.

Four houses down with no mishaps gave you hope that things would turn around for your first Halloween as a parent. Noah was now awake and receiving attention from every mother and grandmother on the block. Micah dazzled with the charm she inherited from her father dialed up to the highest notch. Several families provided extra candy for their cuteness while others requested pictures with the family as a whole to be thrown up on their personal social media channels.

Arriving at a beautifully decorated house swarming with underaged visitors, you noticed a few disappointed faces retreating down the long driveway to other houses. Still, you passed it off as unhappiness with the amount of candy received and followed Chadwick and Micah to the front step.

“Trick and Treat,” Micah exclaimed before she could reach the homeowner.

“A trick and a treat, huh? My kind of girl! Who are you, lovely?”

“I’m Dorothy from The Wiz! My Daddy is the Tin Man, Mommy is Michael Jackson, and my brother is a baby lion.”

The confusion on the young man’s face reminded you and Chadwick that you may have forgotten to inform your oldest that not everyone had seen The Wiz. She assumed that everyone knew Michael Jackson as a scarecrow, but judging by the blank look in his eyes, it was evident he was unaware that there was a more urban version of his childhood classic.

“What she meant to say is I’m the scarecrow from The Wizard of Oz. Sorry for the confusion.”

“That’s great because I was just about to tell you that this is the worst Michael Jackson costume I’ve ever seen!” His attempt at a joke made Chadwick tense for a moment before catching your eyes pleading with him to calm down. At thirty minutes into the adventure, you both were starting to wonder if this was a good idea.

“Where are your candies,” Micah asked, craning her neck around the porch in search of the plastic bowl she’d grown accustomed to.

“No candy here, little one! Candy is bad for your teeth. But, I do have these!” Reaching into the Hello Kitty backpack that accompanied his Deadpool costume, he presented an apple to Micah with a smile. “Here you go, my friend. One Fuji apple just for you and a Koppleman Family Dentistry business card. Feel free to come by and see us for the post-Halloween cavities. Would you like one for the cub in the stroller?”

Chadwick reluctantly accepted the card and the apple meant for Noah. “Uh, thanks man. We’ll make sure check you out when we get a chance.”

“Mommy, I thought Halloween was for candy!”

“Micah Noelle! Hush!”

“But, you said-”

“Have a nice night, man! Dope costume by the way. Let’s go, Munchkin!”

Scooping Micah under his arm, Chadwick led the mad dash for the street to prevent any more comments from his daughter.

From that point, strange happenings seemed to follow that family at every stop. Word got out that Chadwick Boseman had been spotted in the area, drawing families without Halloween goodies out of their homes and into their front yards for a glimpse at the Black Panther.

A family dressed as the Justice held Chadwick on their front porch for several minutes in an attempt to convince him that he should make the switch to DC and play The Green Lantern. Two doors down, a lively bunch of mimes made Noah scream bloody murder at first contact, leading you to stand at the edge of the driveway while Micah asked questions that they would not verbally respond to.

Rounding out the night, perhaps the strangest occurrence you had ever witnessed would prove to cap a bizarre experience.

“Mommy, look, a red balloon,” Micah shouted as she pointed to the object floating in mid-air on the dimly lit porch.

A sign on the home’s mailbox read, “We’re not home, but there’s candy in the bowl. Take IT.”

“Take the whole bowl? That’s dumb as hell,” Chadwick remarked, reading the note a second time for clarity. “It must be a typo.”

“Whatever it is, make this quick. My makeup is starting to sweat off and it’s getting dark.”  

“Can I eat some candy tonight? Pleaaaaaase? Pretty please?”

“Two pieces and that’s it. C’mon so we can grab your last one and get back home for a bath.”

Micah nodded with the same level of enthusiasm that she started the evening with. Her hair bounced in the wind beside her father as they took the short trek up the driveway and to the front porch. An eerie silence greeted the pair, and the closer they got, the more Chadwick sensed something was wrong.

“Stay right here, Boop. I’ll grab the candy and bring it to you.”

Though disappointed, Micah followed her father’s instructions and remained in place.

Chadwick approached the step on the defensive, putting you on edge once you noticed his calculated movements. One step at a time, Chadwick approached the bowl to grab the desired sweet treat for his daughter.

“You’ll float too.” A voice spoke, tiny and almost too quiet for comfort.

“Oh hell nah,” Chadwick spoke to himself. “Aye, baby, let’s go. It’s some weird sh- AYE WHAT THE FUCK?”

In the darkest corner of the porch stood a terrifying version of Pennywise the Clown sporting a morbid smile and glowing yellow contacts. The figure, clearly a member of whatever family lived in the house, stepped from his shadowy hiding place to “greet” Chadwick.

“If you need help, Don, help yourself to a balloon.” The clown never dropped his smile as he walked closer to Chadwick with his hand outstretched.

“The clown is gonna get Daddy,” Micah screeched during her full sprint to find you at the edge of the driveway. “Daddy, make him stop!”

“Hey, man, she has enough candy. We’ll just go home.”

“Want a balloon?”

Without warning, the person behind the costume made a move that startled Chadwick. Quick and misplaced reflexes ended the interaction with a swift jab to the nose and a pained groan from whoever dared to use a demon clown as a welcoming committee for a neighborhood event.

“My nose! Fuck, dude, my nose!”

“Trent,” Chadwick questioned, finally recognizing the voice.

Trent, your neighbor three doors down and a respected pediatrician, slumped against the railing of his porch to allow the blood seeping from his nostrils to fall into his manicured bushes.

“Shit, man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know. Baby,” he called out to you to get your attention. “It’s just Trent. I think I broke his nose.”

“You what?! We can’t afford a broken nose? Ask him if he wants a band-aid.”

“No, I do not want a bandaid,” Trent answered before Chadwick could ask the question. “It’s not broken, but I have a hell of a headache. You should have those hands of yours registered as weapons. I’ve never seen anybody move that fast.”

“You scared the shit outta me, man. How can we make this up to you?”

“My wife really loves Tasha’s green apple pie. You think she could make us a couple to impress the family with for Thanksgiving?”

“Baby, he says if you make them some pies he’ll forget the whole thing!”

“I got you, Trent! Sorry my husband punched you in the face!”

“Don’t mention it, Tasha! Thanks!” Standing from his slouched position, Trent pinched the bridge of his nose before heading toward the front door. “Wait until Julianna hears this. She told me it was a bad idea.”

After a final apology, Chadwick led you and the kids back to the safety of your home. Bedtime routines and a brief candy extravaganza at the kitchen counter put everyone in a good mood before the kids were tucked in for the night.

Chadwick stood on your right in the bathroom, brushing his teeth while you finished applying night cream to the area under your eyes.

“I can’t believe I punched someone in the face tonight.”

“I can’t believe you let a clown scare you like that,” you laughed.

“Co, don’t go there. You were afraid of Harry Potter.”

“Not the same! Them spells and shit were demonic. I don’t wanna hear it.”

“Yeah, whatever.” Chadwick watched you tie your head scarf around your edges before opening his arms to receive the hug you were initiating. “For the first time, it wasn’t so bad, right?”

“This was horrible, baby.”

“Good. We’re on the same page. Let’s never do this shit again.”

“I ain’t say allat, now!” Chadwick dropped his arms along to match his scowl as he followed you into the bedroom to finally get into bed. “I talked to ‘Vonne and she said that Trick or Treating is way better in her neighborhood. You know she lives around black people. We should try over there.”

“I probably don’t have a say in this, do I?”

“Of course you do, baby,” you answered, adding a kiss to his bottom lip. “You can say yes.”

A bitter chuckled left Chadwick’s mouth before he took his spot behind you and wrapped his arms around your waist. “Good night, Michael Jackson.”

“Good night, Ali.”

Peaceful silence enveloped the house, setting the mood for quality slumber after a stressful string of events.

That was into an ear piercing scream from Micah’s room down the hallway, making you and Chadwick’s eyes shoot open. Seconds later, Micah’s fist pounded at the door before she abandoned the rule of waiting until she had permission to enter, and ran into Chadwick’s arms.

“What’s wrong, baby girl?”

“The balloon! It’s outside!”

Chadwick turned to look at you only to find you up and heading out of the door in record time. Sure enough, when both of you entered the room with Micah cowering behind Chadwick’s legs, you found a single red balloon floating past Micah’s window and to an unknown destination. Neither you or Chadwick spoke a word. A non-verbal cue to take Micah back to your bedroom answered all of your husband’s question, and a trip to retrieve Noah was swift.

Crowding into the California king, you made sure to double check the locks and the security system from your bed.

From the corner of your eye, you found Chadwick burning a hole in the side of your head with his intense stare.

“I told you we should’ve stayed home.” 

Rolling your eyes hard enough for them to cause a mild headache, you turned on your side to end the conversation before it could start. There was no way he would know he was right. There was also no way you would ever trick or treat in this neighborhood again. 

                                   _____________

TAGS: @njadont @k-michaelis  @wakandanmoonchild  @idilly  @texasbama@afraiddreamingandloving  @inxan-ity  @daytimeheroicsonly  @onyour-right@brianabreeze  @sisterwifeudaku  @ironsquad @killmongerdispussy@90sinspiredgirl  @willowtree77785901  @maynardqueen101 @heyauntieeee@halfrican-heat  @purple-apricots  @lalapalooza718 @blue-ishx@profilia @ljstraightnochaser  @girl-wtf-lmao  @dramaqueenamby @royallyprincesslilly@melaninmarvel  @thiccdaddy-mbaku  @lavitabella87@purplehairgawdess@unholyxcumbucket  @airis-paris14  @uhlxis@oshasimone @maliadestiny@drsunshine97  @cozyshack2 @zxddy-panther@queentearra @skysynclair19 @retro-melanin @mermaidchansons @misspooh@melanisticroyalty @babygirlofwakanda @wakanda-4evr @sarahboseman @karensraisns@blackmissmarvel @wakandankings  @kaykay4454fan@ororowrites@awkwardlyabstract @mixedmelanin @brownsugarcocoabutterwildflowers@sunflowerpsalms  @panthergoddessbast@justanotherloveaffair @jaeee-http @iliketowrite1996 @blackpantherismyish@thompettiedatheaux @msincognito67 @reignsxjackson @yaachtynoboat711@syreanne  @ilcb7@minim236 @yoyolovesbucky 

[nastybuckybarnes]

Let me Explain

Requested by @reallydontknowwhattosay I hope you enjoy!!

Pairing: Bucky x Black!Reader

Summary: All relationships have rough patches. Will you let Bucky explain his side of this one?

Based on 'Let Me Explain' by Bryson Tiller

Warnings: Angst-ish, Fluff, Language

A/n: Sorry if this isn't what you wanted. I tried, I really did. There's a little squabble at the beginning to set the scene but then it's based off of the song!

SORRY FOR CRAPPY EVERYTHING! THIS WAS MADE AND POSTED ON MOBILE!!

"Bucky... I think we need to talk about our relationship," you begin softly, looking at him from across the room. He's standing by the coffee machine, his hands frozen in whatever movement he was doing before you started talking.

"S-sure, Doll. What do you want to talk about?" You huff out a breath of air and bring your hand up to your hair, fiddling with the curls for a moment as you gather your thoughts.

"Have you... have you not noticed that we're drifting? I mean, you don't really talk to me all that much anymore and I get that you were raised in... literally a different time, but you weren't like this six months ago. Hell, you weren't like this when we started dating a year and a half ago!" Bucky slowly turns to you and nods, looking around for something to distract himself.

It's quiet for a few minutes before you scoff. "So is that it? You're just agreeing with me that things aren't the same?" He sighs and rubs his forehead, trying to think of something to say. "(Y/n)... I'm not the best with words. You know that. I don't know what to say." You shake your head in disbelief and walk into the bedroom the two of you have shared for a little over seven months.

"Fine. If you don't know what to say I'll leave. Give you some space. I sure as Hell know I need some," your words aren't shouted or yelled and Bucky almost wishes they were. He knows he hasn't been treating you fairly lately but -in his mind- he's got a valid reason.

He watches silently, tears stinging his eyes as you pack up some of your stuff then head out the door, leaving him alone in his room of the tower.

~*~

"Almost two weeks and he hasn't said anything?" Nat asks with her eyebrows raised, watching as you put your makeup on. "He's whispered good morning and stuff like that but that's it. Am... Am I being unreasonable? I mean I don't really think I'm the one that fucked up but he probably doesn't think he is either." You shrug and continue applying your makeup, focusing on that more than the conversation.

"Dump him. Go find someone who wants to worship your chocolate ass. Get with Sam! Then you two can have adorable little black babies running around!" You snort and look over your shoulder at her.

"Excuse me, but I don't want to have children with someone who I view as family. I ain't about that whack ass white people shit." She throws her head back laughing, her face turning red. "You're too much! God you're so great," she pants the words.

You sigh and turn back to the mirror, applying the finishing touches to your makeup then fluffing up your wash-and-go, smiling at yourself in the mirror.

"Speaking of family members... I hear Steve coming. He probably smelled the distress... or coconut oil." You throw a kleenex box at Nat and she yelps, rolling over on the bed to avoid the flying object just as there's a knock on the door.

"(Y/n)? Nat? Are you ladies in here?" Natasha jumps off the bed and whips the door open. "Why hello there," she greets him, tipping an invisible hat to him. He rolls his eyes and takes a step inside. "Hey (Y/n). How've you been?" You sigh and look over at him.

"I've been better. What brings you to my neck of the woods?" You stand up, stretching and popping your joints, then walk towards your closet, pulling the strings of your robe tighter around your underwear-clad body.

"I just wanted to check up on you. Make sure you're okay. I know Bucky's taking this... pretty hard." Your face falls slightly. "Is he making it out to be my fault? Because that isn't fair. I didn't do anything to deserve that. I've been there for him through so much!" Steve nods and scratches the nape of his neck.

"That's what he told me. He knows he's being an ass but now he's too much of a punk to talk to you." Natasha makes a sound of disgust and you roll your eyes at her. "Well, I'm going out tonight. Maybe I'll have a good time. Maybe not. Maybe when I get back he'll be ready to man up and talk to me." You look through your closet for a confidence boosting outfit, smiling as you find one.

It's a figure-hugging white strapless dress that compliments your curves and your shimmering dark skin.

You glance behind you, pleased to see that Steve has turned his back to you to give you some privacy. "I know... But (Y/n)... he isn't the same," he says sadly.

"Steve, I know. Okay? I know he isn't the same as before HYDRA and before the fall. You've been telling me that every time him and I have gotten into a fight over the past year and a half. But this? This is different." You pull on a pair of knee-high beige boots and a Tommy Hilfiger windbreaker in the same colour.

You strut out of the closet and spray some perfume on. "If he wants this relationship he's gonna have to put in some effort too. I'm done being the only one fighting for us." As soon as th words slide out of your mouth, there's a knock on your opened door.

Bucky stands there, his hands in anxious fists. "Can... can I talk to you?" He asks softly. You glance at the clock on your nightstand then sigh, "sure." He walks in and the other two walk out, Nat sending you pointed looks while Steve smiles gently.

"(Y/n)... where do I even start?" You cross your arms over your chest and wait patiently, not helping him find any words.

"We used to be... You used to always be there. Whenever I'd need you, there you'd be. When I'd wake up from a nightmare... come back from a hard mission. No matter what. You were there."

You used to come keep me company

Tell me you love me and just me

Oh and it took a while to trust me

Girl I had to work for it

"I know it was hard in the beginning because I was so broken and I thought I didn't deserve love. I was confused about... life and everything. But you were still there. For the past two years you've been there for me. Loving me when I wasn't ready to love you. To love myself. But with your help I got there. To that place where I could love myself and give you my trust, earning yours in return."

Still you don't judge me

I love the way you touch me

I'm feeling like I'm 'bout to lose you

With all the shady shit I do to you

"You've never judged me or wronged me. You've been my rock. Every time you'd touch me felt like the first. But now... because of what I've been doing... I feel like I'm gonna lose you, Doll."

No lie girl when I tell you, you a blessing (you a blessing)

Girl just let me make corrections, yeah

Damn, I've been stressing yeah

I've been really tripping babe

I learned my lesson, yeah

I still need you to listen, oh babe

"You, (Y/n), are a blessing. A gift to this Earth. A gift to me. And I'll do anything to make things right. I... I've been doubting myself again. And instead of talking to you about it I've been keeping it to myself. But I want to change. I learned my lesson. During this time apart I've been stressing so much, not having you beside me."

You open your mouth to interject but he holds up a hand, stopping you. "Just give me a minute I'm almost done." You nod and let him continue.

"Just let me explain. I know I don't deserve your attention, but please, just listen to me."

You sit down at your makeup table, hands clutching each other as he clears his throat.

"Don't be afraid to tell me that it's over. I don't deserve you, I kept things from you. There's so much that's wrong with me... so much of it I've taken out on you and knowing that makes it hard to look at you. Knowing that for a year and a half you let me walk all over you, me thinking it was okay...." His voice cracks and he sniffles.

Don't be afraid to tell me that it's over

Tell me that it's over

No, I don't deserve you, the shit I never told you

There's too many things, I can't look you in the face

"Please just bare with me. I'm trying to be honest and tell you what you need to hear but I can't tell you that. Not yet. And if you think that's the end of my apology... no. I'm hardly started. But I don't want to dive into it and scare you away."

Bare with me girl, I'm trying to be honest

Tell you what you need to hear, just not yet

I'm barely getting started, I'm being cautious

"We've been through so much together. All couples go through hard shit. We made it through all the nasty remarks about our relationship. All those horrible people who said such awful things about me for choosing you. For loving you. All those... disgusting comments about you being with me. We made it through that. We can make it through this too."

All we been through, look what we've been through

Look at Jay and Bey, they going through some shit too

We made it through the struggle let's make it through this too

I got a confession, baby will you listen to it?

"Even now, you're listening to me. And I can't thank you enough. You listened and let me explain. You're the most important thing in my life, Doll. Without you I'd be lost. It doesn't matter if the world hates me, as long as you don't. All I need is you. So baby, will you forgive me? Work through this with me?"

He's on his knees in front of you, his hands on the dark skin of your lower thighs. "Bucky, couples fight. Like you said. But we're stronger than this. We'll get over this. I promise."

TAGS: OPEN

FOREVER: OPEN

@i-ship-reddie

@wildefire

@inumorph

@impalatobakerstreet

@nanna022

@mummy-woves-you

@m-a-t-91

[classicalafros67]

On Why I Refuse to Talk to My Grandmother

This is not meant to be educational. This is not meant to slander my grandmother. This is only meant to be therapeutic – a way to organize my thoughts and release my emotions in a healthy way. I want to note, before I begin, that I am talking to my grandmother, but only out of necessity, for logistical and business reasons, until we come up with a recompense or I have to cut her out of my life altogether. I’m not even sure that I am going to share this, but I still wanted to write it, so maybe for a time, my anger, bitterness and disappointment can be placed elsewhere.

Recently, I wrote this piece, didn’t really share, but I didn’t finish it either on an example of how my grandmother has treated me and continues to treats me.

“I feel like I’m a pretty outspoken person when it comes to talking about gender expression, sexuality, gender, feminism and activism, EXCEPT when it comes to my family. Living all as a queer and gender non-conforming African-American, living with ones (loosely) religious, judgmental and controlling family members is anything but easy. In fact, it’s fucking hard as hell, and I’m pretty sure it’s the base of all of my mental illnesses. I’ve grown up to be silent and speak when spoken to. I believe that my guardian (grandmother) believes that she must rule with an iron fist and control and repair me at any cost, so I can be properly digestible for society. As I’ve grown older, I’ve begun to heavily resent her as these repairs and plays for control are disguised as concern and unconditional love. Recently, it has gotten pretty rough between us. I resent having to go home, so I go out as often as possible either spending the night with my friends or my boyfriend in the city.

One of her plans to repair me (and by repair, I mean “masc me up”) was foiled this week when I spent most of it in the city with my boyfriend in order to get away from her. The car that we are currently sharing got a majorly avoidable flat tire. I agreed to help pay for a new tire, but she wanted me to watch the tire get changed?? I could always google, but, hey, what do I know I guess? So, like always, she got upset that I had not come home, (mind you, I am 22 years old, recently graduated from college, and working multiple jobs to move out of there) and had started calling up a storm and MARKING all of the locations I was at. (She forced me to get this app on my phone where she can track me. Again, I am 22 years old.) I eventually went home because she was holding the car hostage and refusing to get it fixed until I came back, knowing that I needed it to get to work.

She tells me that we need to talk, but every time I attempt to talk to her about anything heavy, my sexuality, how I express myself, gender expression, ect., it turns into her talking at me and justifying, for herself, how she feels and why she acts a certain way. I have always been bad at having these conversations with family, but I am tired of the way my grandmother treats me. I haven’t been talking to her for the past couple of days because I refuse to go to business as normal and move on like nothing is going on, and I’ve been making a list of reasons why I’m upset with her which has become… extensive.

This list is disorganized and mostly just the tip of an iceberg talking point that we need to settle. It overall encompasses her disguising her homophobia, embarrassment and desire to control and socialize me (i.e. other toxic behaviors) as concern and unconditional love. Her forcing me to get an app that allows her to track and mark everywhere I go is her ploy to keep me under control, yet she disguises this as a way for her to let me know that she is home when I could careless, and she ignores that I am old enough to go where I damn please, don’t do drugs, don’t smoke, don’t party, but “there is too much going on in the world right now, I just need to know where you are.” Ask me… This will also lead me to my next point on how I express myself. I like, no, I fucking love makeup. My fashion sense, as I’ve mentioned before extends from dad to literal queen mom. If I want to wear a suit, I’ll wear a suit, if I want to wear a dad outfit, I’ll work that. If I want to wear sweats all day, girl yes. If I want to wear high heels and a floral top, I will WORK that. And if I want to wear makeup with any of those outfits, I WILL! Can you guess which one grandma absolutely hates? She’s horrible at addressing things too, so she gets passive aggressive. She always has a snide comment about what I wear or my makeup and “how bad it is for [my] face.” Even today, she looked at my Facebook and demanded me to take down my cover and profile picture because I’m wearing a full face of makeup and a floral shirt and my cover photo is the pride flag with the male, female, and intersex signs. It got to the point where I blocked her because I can’t mentally handle all the controlling.

I don’t know. I think I just want her to admit that she’s embarrassed of me if nothing else, recognize that I’m only living here circumstantially, that I am still an adult that she can’t/shouldn’t try to control, and that we should really learn to live with each other.”

We did eventually sit down in the kitchen one late night as I returned home and attempted to express how I felt. I wanted the conversation to be an eye opener for her that she couldn’t police how a grown person could express themselves be it online or in real life. Instead, it turned into an interrogation about, “who molested you?” “where did we go wrong?” and fake tolerance. I just ended up having to face my grandmother, someone who I had deeply respected and revered, someone who helped me through college and through life when I moved out of my father’s house, express her homophobia and internalized misogyny towards me in words disguised as concern and worry.

“Why are you wearing makeup?”

“Boys don’t wear makeup”

“I thought you were doing it to get back at your daddy”

“I’m getting a handle on the whole gay thing. I’m getting a handle on the fact that one day you’re gonna bring a man home. But, now, this makeup is too much! And the clothes you’re wearing. And you’re growing out your hair…”

These are some of the words that were shared with me on that night. It has been a couple of weeks and the conversation still rings in my head back and forth. There are so many petty rebuttals I both wish, but am glad that I didn’t, say. I understand that you care so much about the products I buy and put on my face. I understand that the rules to this binary society so strongly holds on to and polices how one performs their assigned sex at birth. I understand that with that in mind that anything outside that expectation is therefore repaired, most commonly through violence. I especially understand the fragility of masculinity and how anything that easily breaks that line is met with violence.

But I also wish that my grandmother knew that she was and is inciting the violence that she’s afraid will be inflicted on me. Violence isn’t just physical. She understands that as my grandmother, she has a power of influence over me, but instead of using this power and seemingly unconditional love as a force for good, a force to uplift the grandchild and encourage them to be themselves unapologetically while advocating for a better and more accepting world to others, she uses this power to police, criticize and repair my expression, my sexuality, my identity.

Imagine the mental, emotional and psychological damage that inflicts on someone. Every article of clothing you wear – judged. The shoes you wear – judged. Growing, styling or curling your hair – judged. How you talk – judged. What you talk about – judged. Every little thing about you – judged and threatened with getting kicked out of the residence you live in.

“Well, as long as you live under my roof, I don’t want you wearing makeup or girl’s clothes.”

All of this violence inflicted, while the attacker continues to pretend that there is nothing wrong with the relationship, and sweeps everything under a giant rug. This violence which affects so many other queer youths. To tell you how bad it is, I have contemplated being homeless, even at VERY low times suicide, just to be away from her. This is horrible considering that despite the violence, I will love my grandmother no matter what, I would like to mend our relationship, and I feel so guilty for feeling that way. But I cannot possibly see that happening until she magically addresses her own problems and stop projecting her societal desires onto me and my siblings.

So, for now, until I am in a financial position to move out and never come back, I refuse to talk to her unless absolutely necessary. I refuse to pretend to be her friend. I refuse to pretend I can tolerate her being around me. I refuse to pretend that I’m not purposefully avoiding her as much as I can. I refuse to let her involve herself into my life for her to gossip and disapprove. I refuse to let that toxicity invade my life again, and I shall seek help and refuge where I can in continuing therapy and being with the family and friends who accept me and love me for exactly as I am.

Postscript—

I think in terms of making this a discussion, because I could use advice on how else I can move forward. Am I missing something in this situation? I’ve talked about this several times in real life with friends and family, and I keep getting the same answers — “She’s just worried about” “She’s stuck in her ways” “She’s your grandmother, she’s supposed to act that way” But I call absolute bullshit. People can change at ANY age from ANY era, and this situation, I feel is WAY more nuanced than her being worried about me. I’d rather her not die a bigot, so I want to open up ways that I can have discourse with her and show her tools to learn more about the LGBTQIA community.

[btsmixz]

SKATES & FISTS | 6

Pairing: Reader x Jimin (slight Reader x Yoongi) (All members appear) Genre: Angst, Slight Horror, Gang Related Rating: PG-13 Pages: 11 Words: 5041  🐝CW: cursing (maybe?)   Summary: “As quick as you are on the ice… you need to be twice as fast, in order to be with me”

Masterlist / Part 1 / Part 2 / Part 3 / Part 4 / Part 5 / Part 6 / Part 7 / Part 8 coming soon!!

a/n:  Part 6 of the story ! ! 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓 💓

Chapter 6

- Beans -

“JESUS CHRIST!” Helena’s scritching voice fills the whole household. I nearly poke myself in the eye with my eyeliner from her sudden outburst.

“Are you okay?” I yell towards the door.

“Yeah, I’m good!” She heckles back to me from beyond the door.

Moments later the sound of her pitter patter footsteps go past my door defending down the stairs.

I wonder who Tae’s trying to get pick the three of us up? I mean it’s not like we don’t have plenty of time until we leave, a whole three hours left. The lot of us might end up sharing an Uber.

I want to know soon though. I may as well ask seeing how I’m done my makeup now. I stand from the floor, sadly my desk hasn’t been put together yet one out of 90 things to do still.

I swing open my door heading for the stairs. “Helena!” I lightly yell from the top of the stairs, making my way down. No reply.

“Lena!” I raise my voice slightly louder. I reach the end of the stairs and find her by the door entrance.

“Shhh!” She waves me with her hand.

“Who are you stalking now?” She pouts at me and I raise my eyebrows expectantly.

“Come,” she beckons me on to follow her and I obey.

We crowd by the curtain and she points for where I should be looking. All I see is what looks like two people outside. One who I assume is Tae, maybe?

“You see this, two beans, on our porch,” She eyes me with raised eyebrows and I end up smiling.

“Who?” I squint looking through the small opening she made in the curtain. One of the guys aka Tae was blocking the other so her work of pointing in front of me has done nothing.

“Literally-it’s his friend Natalia. The one that was here the other day, lover boy Jimin-I’m pretty sure,” I turned to look back at her.

“Jimin?” I look back to Helena and squint at her. None of this makes sense.

Was he not the host? “Isn’t he the one throwing the party?” I cross my arms and plop myself down on the couch, I watch her continue to look outside.

“Yeah-but it doesn’t start for another couple hours, I guess Taehyung asked Jimin-or maybe he offered?” She played with her hair unbothered and then she looked me dead in the face blankly.

“Are you uncomfortable with him. . . Because of what happened?” I open my mouth only to pout moments later.

“I’m so stupid! Why didn’t I consider this earlier, oh my gosh I’m so sorry,” She sulks rushing over to me sitting next to me. I stare at her unfazed.

“Really-“ I go to say more but am interrupted by the door opening and with it, a roaring laugh fills the room.

“I’m fine ok, that’s not why I was confused,” I pay her head and smile.

She raises an eyebrow and crosses her own arms, “Are you sure?” She asks me again.

The laughter in the room subsides abruptly. Taehyung appears out from the entrance way and into the living room with pouty lips.

“What’s wrong?” Tae asks raising his hands to his hips.

“Something happened?” Jimin then joins besides Tae looking up from his phone.

“No, nothing. I just… hurt my wrist while me and Helena were goofing around, just now,” I hold my left wrist up. I wish people would see that I’m really okay.

I scratch my head from the silence that has encumbered the room and look at Jimin.

Other than Tae not fully believing me, I’d say they looked pretty stylish. Jimin had on a white, what are they called again-oh bowling shirts, with sleeves that ended right at the elbow. His shirt has a black printed design on it, he paired it with black jeans. Lowkey me and Jimin are matching with our white and black outfits.

Tae on the other hand rocks a loose dark royal blue long sleeve shirt and, grey-black jeans. Sunglasses are rest in his hair, probably from earlier today.

“Oh, well-we-should, get going,” Jimin gently spoke out into the quiet room.

“Don’t want people showing up without me there,” He half laughed and I nodded standing up alongside Helena.

Driving down the narrow road of Jimin’s street was like entering a new world. All these houses look brand new, they must have just been constructed, though, a lot of the houses are vacant from the ‘for sale’ signs plunged in the lawns of the properties. Part of me is surprised that he lives in such a beautiful neighborhood, how can he even afford this? On the other hand, I’m shocked at how close it is to our own housing district.

The car slows and pulls into a driveway and up into his garage. Bright white lights, light the interior as the car enters it.

“Okay, we-are-here,” Jimin unlocks the doors of his car and everyone gets out simultaneously.

Jimin opens the door to his house from his garage and the

For someone who was an athlete in the training, he had his house in impeccable shape, It looked like a typical modern house that you’d see in movies… it sort of reminded me of the house the Cullens family had in Twilight, just smaller and if I’m being honest I don’t really remember what their house looked like. My memory consists of their large glass windows that opened up their living room, Jimin’s kitchen could be seen from where we stood where we’ve taken off our shoes, very open concept. A large staircase was unmissable in front of us.

The house itself looked like he never lived a day in it… that's how clean and sleek everything was. But randomly there would be pops of yellow and blue played in the space some colour.

It feels so empty, uh, I can’t find the word to describe it. For such a small space it’s so… so-ughhh, never mind. Maybe he just moved in that's why the ‘cozy’ feeling is missing, I don’t know.

“Drinks are in the fridge beer, vodka, smirnoff, soju, whatever you guys want I got at least one case of it,” Jimin points to the fridge walking towards a speaker by the TV with Tae.

“And here I thought you were cutting back on drinking,” Tae says in a mocking tone and gets a slap from Jimin on the arm.

“Shut up,” he sighs out.

“Everyone should be showing up relatively soon,” a smile rests on Jimin’s face as he looks to Tae and he nods agreeing.

I follow Helena to the kitchen where she's already grabbing some vodka and four shot glasses.

“Come let's take a shot, the four of us,” Lena waves them over and they soon round the island counter.

She pours them and out reach our hands. We all cheers at once and for a split second my eyes travel to Jimin’s and his to mine.

DING~

Almost on cue, the doorbell rings and we all let out a laugh. Jimin gets the door while Tae goes back to the stereo and starts playing a playlist from apple music.

A few shots in…

“Yoongi-hyung-“ Jimin’s voice suddenly turns to that of a child's, and I see him run over to the door and almost tackle the poor man.

Wait… isn’t that-Yoongi from my class? Or am I thinking of someone else? Jimin did say Yoongi-hyung, so is this someone else? Well, I’ll find out soon eno-

“Tae! Yoongi-hyung actually came!” He screams into the room as he drags someone behind him.

The people around us seem to be unbothered by his antics and rather laugh along.

Jimin makes his way past us in a hurry and to a tall dude with white-silver hair, the guy he drags behind him seems to be sulkily following him but doesn’t complain. That’s when I see it, the M.Y. As if war flashbacks run through my mind the events of meeting him hit me like a wall.

“You good?” Tae touches behind my neck and I look to him with the same shook face that has disavowed upon me.

“Totally.”

I walk off up to Helena and chill next to her while she pours herself a drink. I should chill and grab a drink too. I look back to Tae and he seems to have joined Jimin and Yoongi, already found purchase of a cup in his hand. He knows him too? Why hasn’t he ever said?

Yoongi seems fairly popular with everyone but he seems to only give each person who approaches him a nod; if he knows them they seem to call him Suga but even then those few people get at most a miniscule smile. Jimin, on the other hand, doesn’t unlink their hands a.k.a dragging Yoongi everywhere his tipsy ass will take them.

Part of me forgets that Yoongi even with his quiet demeanor is actually a fairly known shaker online and well… I guess from all the attention he’s getting at College too… I gotta stop calling this place a College, because the way they want my grades and performances to look, that ain’t it, nowhere close to being College expectations.

An hour and a few more than a few drinks later…

“He really took him up! I thought they were off that shit and made a truth to each other,” Tae threw his head back in laughter.

One way to tell he’s drunk for sure is to listen to all the curse words that slip out. But how can I judge, I know I’m getting close to my limit too.

“Who did?” I look to where Tar is pointing and barely catch a glimpse of someone pitter-pattering up the stairs.

My eyes travel back to Tae and I tap his shoulder to bring back his attention.

“They went up-to-do, you know…” He pauses with his cute box smile and looks me deep in my eyes. “The hooky-nookie,” Tae laughs out into the room again catching the eyes some others at the party.

Tae points his finger in the air after swallowing another sip of his straight vodka-coke mixed drink. “I dare you to go up there and scare them!” he raises his eyebrows. “Or you can take 6 shots,” His box smile spoils into a devilish smirk and all I know is, that ain't it. Not today Satan.

“Fuck that, I’ll do the first dare,” I stand abruptly only to have Helena hold on to me so I don’t fall.

“Yeah!” Tae cheers clapping his hands.

Maybe this wasn’t the greatest idea considering the number of shots I already have, running through my system, just maybe this wasn’t a good idea… but, here we are… on a boat-on a plane-fuck you Daniel Cook.

I get my ass upstairs and the sound difference is amazing, no more raging music in my ears, just mumbled laughter and hard base from the music. All I got to do now is… wait what am I supposed to do exactly? Fuck.

“No-jus-” I hear muffled laughter near me and I honestly can’t decipher if it’s coming from the room or downstairs.

“H-are you,” I narrow my eyes to the sound of someone speaking again.

I waddle myself to the door on the left and hold on to the handle, I wonder whos in there, it looked like a female going up the stairs but Tae said Jimin came up here, who the fuck knows.

A muffled voice laughs from inside the room before I hear them speak. “Okay, what really-really-really made you-” I trip into the door and my hand slips opening it.

“Oops…” I hold onto the frame of the door one hand still on the doorknob and I adjust myself to my once upright position.

My eyes travel up to find Jimin, lounging back on his elbows, and next to him holding a pillow in his lap is Yoongi.

“Hey-Tali~, did you follow us,” He sits up from his elbows and eyes me up and down.

“Surprise,” I whisper and smile at them both. “It was a-stunt-I mean no, not a stunt… a prank,” I shift my weight to lean on the door frame.

“A dare?” The corner of Yoongi’s mouth curls up as if he knows exactly what happened. “From who?” He tilts his head to the side.

“Um, Tae-Taehyung,” I stutter and hug my waist, abandoning the doorknob completely. “He said,” I scuff before continuing. “He said you guys were doing the hookie nookie,” I giggle to myself from the thought.

“We were about to…” Jimin scratches the back of his head looking to the floor.

My eyes widen and I look to Yoongi. “Oh, I’m sorry… he just-I thought he was joking,” I shake my head and my hand finds purchase back door handle and I push myself off from the door frame.

I hear one of them say wait lightly but this feels like enough embarrassment for now. I turn around slowly and begin walking back down the narrow hallway.

I jolt when I feel something grab my shoulder. “I said wait,” I turn to find Yoongi. “He was just messing around,” He gestures to Jimin in the room.

Jimin comes up behind him and kisses his neck, only to have Yoongi squirm away haphazardly. “No, I wasn’t,” He pouts in Yoongi’s face but he just slaps his stomach lightly.

“Yah-” He sounds like he’s about to go off on him but his face goes pliant and he shrugs it off.

“Let’s go back~” He takes both our hands and brings us back in the room, he sets us down on the bed then goes into the room's closet.

“What now, it's turning into a threesome, we haven’t even made up,” He half-laughs out and lays down on the bed.

Tae what’d you get me into…

“So you are two couple?” I blurt out but quickly cover my mouth. That was for me more so than for them.

“Which is completely fine… I just never knew you liked men, if you like men,” I lick my lips and stare down into my hands.

“We’re…” he glances over at Jimin who pauses briefly before continuing to rummage through the closet. “We’re complicated, but aren't in a relationship,” Yoongi chuckles and looks over at me.

Yoongi’s eyes drift back to Jimin before he continues. “Jimin is just… super touchy-when he’s had some alcohol… and he hasn’t seen me since I got back so… he’s super hyped-” Jimin interrupts Yoongi with an obnoxious hum causing a small sigh to escape Yoongi’s lips.

Jimin’s eyes narrow at Yoongi as he zones in on him. “Don’t make sun of my tipsy dipsy self,” He places his hands on his hips and walks towards Yoongi, slowly wobbling in his last step.

Jimin stops just short of touching his knees with his own legs grazing. I look down at Yoongi and his eyes are locked with Jimin’s. “Tipsy, Chimmy, Dimminy,” Jimin and I laugh out and he actually tips over onto both of us sending our backs flat against the bed with a giggles corpse on top of us.

BANG

I jump grabbing onto Jimin and Yoongi beside me. “Jimin they got in the pool!” Silence settles the room from a bug-eyed wild Taehyung appears in the room before us all.

His half-open mouth turns into an ‘o’ shape and he narrows his eyes at Jimin. “B-but I’ll-I’ll handle it,” He looks to the floor with determination and nods to himself then shuts the door.

All three of us look at each other. And before Jimin can go to speak he’s interrupted when Helena flings open the door.

“Natalia, are you… okay?” Helena’s voice quickly drowns out as her eyes land on me and the other two.

“Oh,” She shakes her head and smiles.

“I didn’t realize I was interrupting-I-seen Tae when I came out the washroom and was… curious,” I narrow my eyes and smile at her slyly.

“What do you mean?” I raise my eyebrows.

“Were just talking,” I giggle.

Jimin turns to me and Yoongi. “This is a bery-interesting conversation,” Jimin slurs in a whisper and his eyes widen.

Yoongi throws his head back and chuckles lightly to himself.

“I should get’d up,” Jimin pushes off from the bed and looks between us all awkwardly.

“I’m gonna go get a drink,” He bites his bottom lip and then pushes past Helena.

“Me too,” Yoongi breaths out.

He practically dashes out the room and I lay blank faces on the bed to whom I don’t know belongs to.

“We should go too,” I point to Helena and she just shakes her head and smiles.

“Are you ok?” She asks eyebrows creasing the slightest.

“Yepp,” I try and push myself off the bed like them two but only find that I get dizzy from the act.

“Let’s go,” Helena muses.

I extend my hand to her and she pulls me up from the bed.

“So y'all were really getting to know each other, huh,” her tone is teasing and my face turns sour.

“Maybe.”

I walk faster and am the first one to walk down the stairs. Once I’m at the landing of the stairs I look outside and see two figures running around outside through the large windows in the back of the house. Without a doubt, it was Tae basically asasin-creeding the other dude's tackling the equally as tall guy to the ground.

“That looks like it went well,” Helen said watching the same act.

As time goes by in the party the people who showed seem to be still going strong; yelling and laughing as if they haven’t been here all night, including me. Tae and his friends seem to be having a ball, while I and Helen chill on the kitchen counter asking one another who the hottest in the room is… well up until now.

“ Pukey-had so much potential,” Lena looks at this guy as if he’s her long-lost lover and it sort of hilarious.

Pukey had dyed blue hair and a small mouse-like face… but not in an ugly way. I think his real name was Chase or maybe it was Jake? Who cares his new name is Pukey.

Pukey fell back on the wall and Tae flips into action making a beeline in his direction. I tap Helena and she looks to me and then follows my eyes to Tae.

“What’s he-“

Before Lena can finish her sentence Tae is pulling the guy out of the room and into the living room.

“I wonder why, that, happened,” poke my face in Lena’s direction.

Lena returns a glare to be before saying. “I don’t know,” she forcefully smiles at me and I nod.

“He likes you, Lena,” I whisper.

Laughter erupts from her whole being just in time when Tae hops back into the already crowded kitchen. I wave him down and jump off the table.

“Hey Tae, come keep her company-gotta pee,” I speed off after hearing the way Helena chokes from my comment.

I don’t turn back knowing death is already telepathically being sent my way by Lena. I mean I didn’t lie all the way, only I have the feeling to pee now and not before.

I snake my way through the people in the living room finding my way to the bathroom, only to find out that someone’s in there doing something a little more than peeing. Upstairs hopefully, I trot my way up and wrap around the hallway. I guess if I pee now I won’t be able to stop, what a-

“I thought-“ I yelp jumping away from where ever that voice came from.

“What the fuc-“ I stop myself from finishing that sentence because my eyes land on a very amused Jimin standing opposite the door.

“I didn’t mean to scare you,” He holds up his hands a light laugh emitting his lips.

I wave him off and smile. “It’s ok.”

He leans in slightly as if he’s gonna say something and I perk up waiting for his question. He seems to change his mind mid-thought and leans his weight back on the wall.

“What’s-up,” I ask pushing hair behind my ear.

The small fright must have scared the remainder of my buzz away along with it.

His eyes shoot up to my own and he licks his bottom lip biting it for a second, I catch myself drifting between his lips and eyes and decide the floors the safe route.

“Nothing,” He inhales and rests his head on the back wall.

“Just a little light-headed, I was waiting for someone to come up here,” He looks away from me biting his lip.

I look up to him and frown, he’s been just waiting here until someone came

“I’m fine… I-shouldn’t be drinking at the moment. But I’m a little irresponsible and…” He continues to try and explain but gives me a half smiles instead.

How do you go from being tipsy and flinging yourself around, to relatively calm and collective? He doesn’t even seem the same in the slightest.

Suddenly My urge to pee dissipates. “Do you want to go sit down? I can help,” I take a step towards him and he stiffens slightly.

“That’d be nice.” He gives me a stiff nod.

I hold up my hands slightly. “If you want to be alone that’s totally fine too…” I clasp my hands backing off.

“I’d like to sit, if you’d like to help me,” His brow raises and he tilts his head.

Shit, I totally was off. I reach out slowly to wrap his arm around my shoulder and I place my hand around his torso helping him to walk.

“The room is fine,” He points the door a cross from the bathroom.

I was heading to the room we were in last time but I abruptly stop and head to the one he suggests. We stop just as we enter the room and I watch him close his eyes tightly, he breaths out an ‘ok’ and I flicked the light on and we continue to the bed in front of us. I place him down in an upright position.

“There we go,” I rub his arm lightly and he moves away from it.

I look around the room averting his eyes.

“Sorry if I scared you,” I feel his eyes on me but I look at the bed sheets instead.

The first thing I think of is what happened that night those guys came and I shake my head. “It’s ok, you, I wasn’t scared of you… I was just disgusted that someone would try and hurt someone like that,”

I glance at him and his eyes are squinted after a moment he makes an ‘o’ with his lips. “I’m sorry, I meant just now.” His eyes flutter and he bites his lip.

“I can be a bit, hard to understand,” He half smiles and runs his hands through his hair.

“No-no, I’m kind of all over the place sometimes too, especially right now apparently,” Before he goes to respond I continue to talk.

“Did you want some water? You said you're dizzy, right?” I slowly back away from him.

He gives a small nod.

“I’ll bring some,” as soon as I finish I turn and leave the room.

I make my way down the stairs again. I glance at the people now surrounding the coffee table in the living room, talking was the same guy I seen when I arrived, with the white-silver hair. He looks to be explaining some card game to a few people listening paying attention. I squish through the still super full kitchen and manage to grab a glass to pour some water.

“You were up there long.”

I turn to the voice and find Pukey brows raised and leaning on the counter next to me.

“Yeah-had to pee,” I put the water jug back in the fridge and zoot off passing the living room, where the card game seems to have finally picked up, then back up and into the room once again.

I walk back in the room and find Jimin lying flat on the bed with his eyes. Is he fucking dead! What the fuck! Maybe he passed out?

“Jimin?” I squeal out and quickly place his water on the nightstand.

I shake his leg and he flinches his eyes flinging wide open as blinks a few times. “What? What happened? Did someone pass out downstairs?” He pushes himself up into a sitting position but shuts his eyes tightly before trying to focus on my face kneeled before him.

“No, everything’s fine… I just thought that you passed out.” I sigh in relief and pick his water up again to hand to him.

“This looks interesting,” He stares down at me and I look down at myself and then stand.

A small giggle emits from him.

I pick up the glass and pass it to him. “Here.”

He takes it grinning.

“Thanks, and sorry.” He half laughs and I smile.

“Did you want me to tell Yoongi to come up?” His brows crease and he looks up at me again.

“Why-“ he draws out in which I can only describe as a defensive whine.

“I just don’t want you to be alone, that’s all.” I laugh out.

“Why can’t you stay?” He watches me and I look away from his intense stare.

“I can do that too, you two just seemed close. And wanted to talk, that’s all” I move from in front of him and sit next to him on the bed, it bounces a little and Jimin shakes slightly.

“I like him, he’s been my friend for so-so long.” He sighs lightly.

“You like-like him right… more than a friend.” I ask.

“Sometimes.” He sips his water and watches it in the glass.

“I mean I’m not the one with that problem… I-” he stops himself and takes a sip.

You’d think this would be drunk talk but he seemed fine in the hallway, I’m not all the way convinced.

“What do-” I try but he cuts me off.

“Nothing-forget it, I say stupid stuff when I’ve been drinking.” Jimin’s voice is frantic and his eyes look pleadingly at me.

I’m still not sure if I believe you, but okay I guess.

“Oh-you mean like, it’s not your problem that I didn’t know you were gay,” I try and sound as genuine as possible but for a split second it looks like he sees through my sheared.

He puts a hand on my lower back and I flinch in the slightest. “Love, I’m not gay, I’m bi,” he rubs his hand there for a moment longer before he goes back to holding his glass with both hands.

He seemed to play along and I appreciate our unspoken agreement about something I have no clue about.

“Sorry,” I whisper and he smiles.

“You guys really do seem like…” I pause because of his gaze.

“Like a good couple, I mean with that said-its my first time seeing you two together. So I can only go off of what happened, like-an hour ago. You brought him around everywhere you walked, that’s why I thought you’d want me to bring him to you.”

Jimin takes another sip of his water and rests it down on the nightstand. His hand doesn’t leave the glass, I watch as his grip hardens around it and his breathing picks in the slightest. Did I upset him?

“Jimin?”

He blinks and his hands off the glass as if nothing happened. “It’d be nice, maybe,” he shifts his body to me.

“I like you too though, but it is also hard for you to get someone who is no longer here,” A sweet smile spreads on his face.

Jimin slowly slides down back onto the bed and shuts his eyes. I take this moment to relax too. I find my eyes wondering about the room were in, it appears much more… lived in, at least compared to the other one we were previously in with Yoongi, the other was your standard cookie-cutter room, clean white sheets, and clean light grey walls.

This one, on the other hand, had white walls, a nicely kept queen bed with cobalt blue sheets is adjacent to the door and is in the corner of the room, I look to the right and a silver metal desk with a notebook on it and lamp, the desk is placed in front of the window in the corner of the room. Two sliding closet doors are opposite the desk, and a crescent moon rug covers the floor by the closet similar to the colour of the bed, right next to the door is a cushioned yellow chair that goes nicely with the light wooden flooring.

The room is warm and the aroma overall is a lot more welcoming than everywhere else- “Done examining,” Jimin chuckles. Imploding my thoughts.

“Oh, sorry,” I scratch my head awkwardly.

“Is this your room? Or…” I drown out my question because he nods.

“It appears much more lived in than the other,”

“It’s dirty?” his voice is soft almost like he’s asking himself and i watch him look about the room concerned.

“It’s not dirty-it just looks like, it has more character than anywhere else, super personalized.”

A small smirk develops on his face and he says. “You think I have more personality?”

I look down at him and my eyes go wide. He can’t be having a blackout right now… can he?

“Are-are you having a blackout?” I blurt out and turn to face his lying body.

He licks his lips. “Hmph, that's interesting.”

He pats beside him and l slowly ly back beside him on my side.

“Can I tell you a secret?” he asks me holding his finger up.

I nod eagerly.

“You can’t tell Jimin, or else I’ll have to punish you by taking something away from you,” his voice is harsh and cracks at the end.

a/n: Hope you liked it! ❤️

🌹  See you soon!  🌹

[savvylark]

Not Your Mama’s Hallmark Christmas Part 3

You can find Part 1 here and Part 2 here or read it all on Ao3 here

Katniss tends to be cynical about materialism, love, and marriage. Her friends have replaced the family she lost. So when Peeta needs help, her friends don’t need more than a strong arm to convince her. Katniss finds herself having a very different  Christmas this year with the Mellark family, posing as Peeta’s girlfriend. What will change when this starts to look like a strange Hallmark movie?

Thank you to the amazing @javistg being my beta and encouraging. Thank you @peetabreadgirl for giving me some of the ideas for these cute scenes that bring K & P closer. @everlarkingjoshifer made this banner for me. Isn’t it lovely?

Madge is unbelievable. The girl has connections and she knows how to get things done. Almost everyday after my work at the lab, I’m busy with something to prepare for the trip.

Madge and I are getting our nails done at a salon she frequents. I never do this kind of thing. I kept my nails shorter, square, and a dark red color, seasonal, but edgy enough to be myself. I’m pretending to be a wealthier version on myself I reason.

Madge is getting her baby pink French Tip frost with iridescence and sparkles. She couldn’t be happier that I begrudgingly accompanied her. I try to enjoy her company while she continues with her mission to prepare me. 

“I peppered in compliments about you while I was on the phone with Aunt Loretta, but you know how she is,” Madge admits with a grimace.

I roll my eyes. I do know how she is.

Mrs. Mellark was full of backhanded compliments and condescension when she met Gale. My best friend is a tall, dark, and handsome engineer with intense gray eyes, that could win over any woman.

Madge’s Aunt being the exception.

“When I mentioned that I met Gale through you, it all went downhill.” She rolls her eyes. I’m not surprised.

“Maybe I should have started with how much you make in the lab working for pharmaceutical companies.” Madge winks.

I huff.

I don’t how to handle someone so superficial.

Money was hard to come by growing up. The only reason I had the opportunity to attend college was the archery scholarship I received.

It was extremely lucky that my favorite professor, Dr. Beetee. Took an interest in me and explained that with my major, Biochemistry in Pharmaceutical Sciences, I was eligible for the program that enables undergraduate students to begin taking graduate courses in their senior year.

I received a Master of Science degree within a year of finishing my undergraduate degree.

Dr. Beetee helped me find a job with his connections, I was hired right out of college. With his encouragement, I’ve been taking a few night classes in pursuit of my doctorate.

My paygrade allows me to afford a good chunk of my sister’s college bills as she studies to become a pediatrician, while I continue to live with a roommate and a tight budget.

I guess Mrs. Mellark would like to know what I make and not where it goes.

Madge wrote out an itinerary based on what she knows after talking to her aunt, with what outfit to wear, the right shoes, makeup for each outfit, diagrams, and tips for what might happen.

The shopping she’s done for me is a welcome relief. She knows me so well. What I like, what I look good in, what fits, and most importantly, how much I hate shopping.

Peeta and I are heading out of town in his black SUV –I always refer to it as his secret service vehicle. Snow is lightly dusting our scenery on the open road.

It’s a 3 hour drive to Merchant, Peeta’s ritzy gated community hometown. Politicians, socialites, anyone with money, even a famous eccentric musician are all known to live in that area.

A 30 minute drive from there is the suburban town Madge, Gale, and I grew up in. Gale and I grew up on the poorer side of town. Madge growing up as the mayor’s daughter (and now senator elect) obviously being the nicest part of our area.

The first hour of our drive is filled with our usual banter and laughter. I’m genuinely relieved that this weird week will be with Peeta, he’s a blast.

We take turns playing new music we’ve found, and fall into our usual discussions, sharing thoughts on certain lyrics or a particular soul-stirring melody.

Peeta gets a thoughtful look on his face before he speaks. “Okay, this may seem weird to discuss, but I’m going to surprise you in the moment, when no one is looking. I don’t think our first kiss should be in front of everyone. It’s going to look forced and awkward.”

I quirk an eyebrow at him. “OUR. First. Kiss?” I lock eyes with him, but keep a teasing look on my face.

He raises his eyebrows realizing what he just said, remembering, his cheeks turn rosy.

“You were my first kiss,” I whisper, just barely loud enough for him to hear. Cherishing the memory.

I bite my lip in thought. Quick dart my eyes to Peeta as I catch him licking his lips, then snap my gaze back on the road.

“Really?” He seems surprised, but I can hear a smile and, is that pride, in his tone?

“Mhmm.” I feel 16 again and I’m floating, my skin tingles. I know I’m blushing so I just stare down at my boots.

After a few moments of thoughtful silence, I blurt out. “Our kisses couldn’t ever be forced or awkward, Peeta.” I leave that for him to chew in as I crank up some “Hipster Holidays Radio” on Pandora.

After all the stories Madge and Peeta have told me of the infamous Mrs. Loretta Mellark, I wasn’t expecting someone so beautiful, and well, perfect. Everything about her was “just so,” which, maybe I should have guessed, knowing how “just so” Madge is.

She’s dressed in classically styled name brand clothes, makeup that complements her icy blue eyes and lighter skin tone, elegantly styled updo, highlighted blond hair, nothing is out of place or inexpensive.

Loretta is the most beautiful middle aged woman I’ve ever seen. Her pores seep elegance.

An air of pretension and anxiety follows her everywhere.

Honestly, this explains some things.

“Mom, this is my girlfriend, Katniss. I told you she was coming. She grew up with Madge, remember?” Peeta introduces me, rushed and nervous.

With a weak smile, I offer my hand in greeting. Trying to relax my own nerves.

“It’s very nice to meet you, thank you for having me,” I tell Peeta’s mother.

Loretta purses her lips and looks me over, eyes narrow, ignoring my extended hand.

I stuff my hands into the pockets of my worn jeans, which I realize she’s judging right now.

“What an interesting name. Very Haight-Ashbury.”

I look at Peeta and we’re both trying to hide our amusement.

“Thanks?” I reply trying to keep a neutral expression.

“If my dear niece is fond of you, I’m sure you’ll find your place here. Peeta, can you show her to one of the upper guest rooms? We won’t have any cohabitation in my house, especially among so many family members, you understand?”

Peeta nods.

I try to hide my sigh of relief.

That is until I find that I’m being put in a room so far from the rest of the family.

Message received. My place here is not with the rest of the family. I can tell by Peeta’s grimace he’s also caught onto his mother’s condescending implication.  

“It’s okay, Peeta, I do like having a place to escape, so I don’t know if I really mind at all.”

“Yeah, but it’s just rude. You’re my girlfriend.” He clears his throat. “I mean, she shouldn’t treat you that way, and it’s disrespectful to both of us,” he says with frustration.

I put my hand on his shoulder. “It’s okay, Peeta, let’s just get through this as smoothly as possible. We don’t play her games. We have our own antics,” I say with a smile and a wink.

He rolls his eyes and I know he’s thinking of the reference “antics.”

One year, Peeta stress baked enough Christmas cookies to open his own bakery. When I came over to his apartment to set up for movie night, we came up with the idea of having a cookie eating contest.

We got right to frosting in preparation for our Christmas party.

Later on, Jo and Finnick walked in to find 12 dozen frosted cookies and Peeta chasing me with a spatula, laughing with frosting all over his face, mine being equally frosted.

Johanna and Finnick went into a long list of our games we come up with, the chasing and teasing, referencing them as “antics.” It became a recurring joke Jo and Finnick go back to in reference to the competitions we come up with, or playful things we do together.

“Always with the antics” became a recurring joke.

“Ugh, now I really want some cookies!” I groan.

Peeta lights up at the reference, and chuckles to himself. “I know where to find some!” He takes my hand and leads me out of the secluded guest room.

I don’t really know what kind of awkwardness would have come from sharing a room with Peeta, so I put it out of my mind.

“Did your mom call my parents hippies?” I remind him.

Our eyes meet and we laugh.

“Pretty much.”

Peeta leads me to the kitchen. “You are kind of a flower child, yourself.” He pokes at my side.

I squirm and scowl at him.

As we eat frosted Christmas sugar cookies from Mellark’s bakery, Peeta brings up ways we should look and act like a couple. “We have to believable, right?”

“Yeah?” I roll my eyes.

“Let’s go over ‘couply things’ we should do,” Peeta suggests, always the project manager.

“Like hand-holding?” I deadpan, because this seems kind of silly. We’re adults. We’ve been in plenty of relationships. I do see his point, it is hard to think of Peeta as more than a friend.

Well, was, until Joanna opened that can of worms.

He reaches for my hand and nods.

I slowly grasp his large palm and interlace our fingers, ignoring the tingle that spreads with our touch.

“Or I’ll put my arm around you.” Peeta demonstrates and I try to relax in his embrace. My nerves are a little on edge.

“Loving gestures.” His arm travels down and he rubs my back affectionately.

Then he pulls on the end of my braid to turn me toward him.

Peeta stares into my eyes and smooths a strand of my hair behind my ear carefully.

I crinkle my nose.

He laughs.

Peeta kisses my nose.

I gasp, startled.

Then we both laugh.

He pulls me into a hug as we laugh, for no reason in particular. His face snuggles down in the crook of my neck.

I feel so…

We hear footsteps behind us and in walks William Mellark, beaming at the couple he’s found in the kitchen.

I push away with one hand on Peeta’s chest and look up at him for what to do.

His arms remains wrapped around me.

I’m momentarily distracted by the feel of his muscular solid chest under my fingertips.

Peeta’s attention is on the family patriarch. “Hey Dad! This is Katniss, my girlfriend,” he introduces me.

I try not to notice the huskiness Peeta’s voice took on when the said girlfriend, or the proud smile he gave.

It almost hurts to have to lie to his dad like that. I swallow my feelings.

As Peeta releases me from his embrace, I step forward.

“Nice to meet you, Mr. Mellark!” I say, hoping to school my nerves.

With familiar Mellark deep blue eyes, I’m greeted with a smile. Peeta’s dad has prominent laugh lines and the wrinkles around his eyes seem to be from happiness. His blonde hair is cut short with gray sprinkled around his temples, but I’m sure it was exactly like Peeta’s in his youth.

He’s very handsome.

I know where Peeta gets his looks.

“It’s Will to you, please? Make yourself at home here, Katniss!”

I greet him with a handshake. “Thank you, Will!”

The first night, the Mellarks have planned a couples’ ice skating event in town. We meet up with Peeta’s brothers and their wives.

Dane Mellark is a lawyer and it shows with the way he carries himself, seems cold and serious.

His wife, Clara, is also blond; beautiful, perfectly manicured, and dressed like Princess Kate. I’m sure she’s everything his mother wanted in a daughter-in-law.

We make polite conversation, what I do, how we met, how Dane and Clara met. Clara’s favorite topic being their children.

I can’t shake the feeling that I don’t really belong.

Rye Mellark and his wife arrive a little later. The Middle Mellark son greets me with a warm hug and whispers, “try not to melt the ice there” with a wink.

Is he flirting with me?

Then, he pulls Peeta in a headlock and, mutters something that makes Peeta blush.

I don’t have time to wonder what kind of woman married him when a dark red haired bombshell smacks Rye’s arm. “Knock it off Ryen!”

Rye releases Peeta with a huff.

“I’m Lila, it’s nice to meet you, Katniss.” Lila pulls me into a side hug, she smells like an expensive perfume.

She’s clearly used to this kind of lifestyle, but from talking to her she’s approachable, and genuine.

The first time I make Rye and Lila laugh Peeta and I lock eyes. The look of pride and something else I’m not familiar with flashes in his eyes. I’m much more comfortable around them after that.

It’s a relief.

Rye makes a big show of his backwards skating abilities. He’s dressed in a black Red Wings starter jacket and hockey skates.

Lila makes a few jokes at her husband’s expense.

“Why the Red Wings didn’t want him…”

And something about How he dressed in,costume. She’s funny, and clearly Rye thinks so too.

He laughs along and his eyes twinkle with love for his wife.

There’s that feeling again.

What is it with me lately? I’m noticing that ‘love’ look everywhere.

I blame Gale.

The outdoor rink is beautiful, with lights, greenery and holly. It even smells of evergreen.

In the center, is a decorated 30 foot tree looking magical, the music playing makes my ears buzz with nostalgia.

I tighten my hand in Peeta’s unconsciously and feel the buzz travel from my ears to my whole body as I listen.

Taking in the scene as we make our first loop around on the glassy ice rink, I can’t help but sigh in contentment.

“I feel like a kid again!” I smile up at Peeta.

He squeezes my hand and smiles back in reply.

I briefly think of Madge saying “you have a calming effect on Peeta.” I wonder if he has the same effect on me, and if this feeling, similar to holiday cheer, has something to do with the man next to me.

As if he’s reading my thoughts, Peeta draws me into his arms. I’m met with his deep blue eyes and the reflection of lights dancing around us before Peeta plants a chaste kiss on my lips.

My heart is beating faster, and I can’t keep the stupid grin off my face.

The tingling sensation on my lips lingers.

I force myself to focus on one thought,

“This is fun. We’re having fun. Don’t over think.”

I glance behind Peeta and realize his brothers and parents were watching us.

Smiles and whispers are shared among them.

Oh right, this is for appearances.

I grin back at Peeta, as if to say “It’s working.”

A confusing tightness lingers in my gut.

I refuse to let my thoughts wander and analyze. Or think about my body’s reaction to the kiss.

The first thing Peeta says to me once we arrive back at his parents’ house is “Hey, you know what we need? Hot Cocoa!”

We walk with his arms wrapped around me, as if we are really a couple.

It really felt like a first date and it was, well, wonderful.

Peeta hands me a fresh cup of cocoa and I take my seat at the breakfast nook while he prepares his own cup.

On the wall are cute pictures of the Mellark  boys in various stages of life.

It’s funny to see Peeta as a chubby little grade-schooler, same friendly smirk, same bright blue eyes.

I try to think if I remember him like that at Madge’s birthday parties. I just wasn’t paying enough attention then. Maybe I do remember that sweet face, playing tag in Madge’s back yard.

I turn and collide with Peeta’s very full cup of steaming Hot Cocoa. It pours all down his shirt.

Peeta hisses. He sets his cup down, and whips his shirt off to rid himself of the scalding liquid.

I quickly reach for a napkin and attempt to dry his lap.

He has light red marks from the cocoa, but I can’t ignore his chiseled and muscular chest.

Wow. Just. Wow.

My movements still as we make eye contact.

My chest feels heavy, the air feels thick.

My whole body is very aware of this growing attraction.

Or recurring attraction?

This is HOT.

“What?” Peeta says, amusement on his face.

I must have said that out loud.

I try to shake away the magnetism he has.

Then I realize my hand is still in his lap, lingering precariously. Was I just rubbing his… lap?

I pull back, taking a sip of my cocoa to hide my reaction. “The cocoa is hot,” I blurt out in an attempt to recover. Looking anywhere but at Peeta.

We quietly finish our hot chocolate.

“Well, I think I’m ready to head to my room. I had a lot fun, Peeta, thank you,” I say.

Peeta catches my hand and pulls me in a warm hug.

My hands go around his back.

His bare muscular back.

He’s still shirtless.

I resist the urge to moan.

My whole body heats up again.

“Thank you for doing this, Katniss,” Peeta whispers.

I feel his warm breath and the brush of his lips on my neck.

I pull away and nod, mumbling some sort of affirmation.

I head up to my room before I do something stupid like shove him into the wall and kiss him senseless without the pretense of appearances.

That night, I dream of a shirtless Peeta, moaning and grunting as I stroke…

[winterinpanem]

Not Your Mama's Hallmark Christmas part 2/3

A big Thank YOU to my friend and beta @javistg 

Madge is unbelievable. The girl has connections and she knows how to get things done. Almost everyday after my work at the lab, I'm busy with something to prepare for the trip.

  Madge and I are getting our nails done at a salon she frequents. I never do this kind of thing. I kept my nails shorter, square, and a dark red color, seasonal, but edgy enough to be myself. I’m pretending to be a wealthier version on myself I reason with myself.

Madge is getting her baby pink French Tip frost with iridescence and sparkles. She couldn’t be happier that I begrudgingly accompanied her. I try to enjoy her company while she continues on her mission to prepare me.

“I peppered in compliments about you when I was on the phone with Aunt Loretta, but you know how she is,” Madge admits with a grimace.

  I roll my eyes. I do know how she is.

  Mrs. Mellark was full of backhanded compliments and condescension when she met Gale. My best friend is a tall, dark, and handsome engineer with intense gray eyes, that could win over any woman.

  Madge's Aunt being the exception.

  “When I mentioned that I met Gale through you, it all went downhill.” She rolls her eyes. I'm not surprised.

  “Maybe I should have started with how much you make in the lab working for pharmaceutical companies.” Madge winks.

  I huff.

  I don't how to handle someone so superficial.

  Money was hard to come by growing up. The only reason I had the opportunity to attend college was the archery scholarship I received.

  It was extremely lucky that my favorite professor, Dr. Beetee. Took an interest in me and explained that with my major, Biochemistry in Pharmaceutical Sciences, I was eligible for the program that enables undergraduate students to begin taking graduate courses in their senior year.

  I received a Master of Science degree within a year of finishing my undergraduate degree.

  Dr. Beetee helped me find a job with his connections, I was hired right out of college. With his encouragement, I've been taking a few night classes in pursuit of my doctorate.

  My paygrade allows me to afford a good chunk of my sister's college bills as she studies to become a pediatrician, while I continue to live with a roommate and a tight budget.

  I guess Mrs. Mellark would like to know what I make and not where it goes.

  Madge wrote out an itinerary based on what she knows after talking to her aunt, with what outfit to wear, the right shoes, makeup for each outfit, diagrams, and tips for what might happen.

  The shopping she's done for me is a welcome relief. She knows me so well. What I like, what I look good in, what fits, and most importantly, how much I hate shopping.

  Peeta and I are heading out of town in his black SUV --I always refer to it as his secret service vehicle. Snow is lightly dusting our scenery on the open road.

  It's a 3 hour drive to Merchant, Peeta’s ritzy gated community hometown. Politicians, socialites, anyone with money, even a famous eccentric musician are all known to live in that area.

  A 30 minute drive from there is the suburban town Madge, Gale, and I grew up in. Gale and I grew up on the poorer side of town. Madge growing up as the mayor's daughter (and now senator elect) obviously being the nicest part of our area.

  The first hour of our drive is filled with our usual banter and laughter. I'm genuinely relieved that this weird week will be with Peeta, he's a blast.

  We take turns playing new music we've found, and fall into our usual discussions, sharing thoughts on certain lyrics or a particular soul-stirring melody.

  Peeta gets a thoughtful look on his face before he speaks. “Okay, this may seem weird to discuss, but I’m going to surprise you in the moment, when no one is looking. I don’t think our first kiss should be in front of everyone. It's going to look forced and awkward.”

  I quirk an eyebrow at him. “OUR. First. Kiss?” I lock eyes with him, but keep a teasing look on my face.

  He raises his eyebrows realizing what he just said, remembering, his cheeks turn rosy.

  “You were my first kiss,” I whisper, just barely loud enough for him to hear. Cherishing the memory.

  I bite my lip in thought. Quick dart my eyes to Peeta as I catch him licking his lips, then snap my gaze back on the road.

  “Really?” He seems surprised, but I can hear a smile and, is that pride, in his tone?

  “Mhmm.” I feel 16 again and I'm floating, my skin tingles. I know I'm blushing so I just stare down at my boots.

  After a few moments of thoughtful silence, I blurt out. “Our kisses couldn't ever be forced or awkward, Peeta.” I leave that for him to chew in as I crank up some “Hipster Holidays Radio” on Pandora.

  After all the stories Madge and Peeta have told me of the infamous Mrs. Loretta Mellark, I wasn’t expecting someone so beautiful, and well, perfect. Everything about her was “just so,” which, maybe I should have guessed, knowing how “just so” Madge is.

  She's dressed in classically styled name brand clothes, makeup that complements her icy blue eyes and lighter skin tone, elegantly styled updo, highlighted blond hair, nothing is out of place or inexpensive.

  Loretta is the most beautiful middle aged woman I've ever seen. Her pores seep elegance.

An air of pretension and anxiety follows her everywhere.

  Honestly, this explains some things.

  “Mom, this is my girlfriend, Katniss. I told you she was coming. She grew up with Madge, remember?” Peeta introduces me, rushed and nervous.

  With a weak smile, I offer my hand in greeting. Trying to relax my own nerves.

  “It’s very nice to meet you, thank you for having me,” I tell Peeta's mother.

  Loretta purses her lips and looks me over, eyes narrow, ignoring my extended hand.

  I stuff my hands into the pockets of my worn jeans, which I realize she's judging right now.

  “What an interesting name. Very Haight-Ashbury.”

  I look at Peeta and we're both trying to hide our amusement.

  “Thanks?” I reply trying to keep a neutral expression.

  “If my dear niece is fond of you, I’m sure you’ll find your place here. Peeta, can you show her to one of the upper guest rooms? We won’t have any cohabitation in my house, especially among so many family members, you understand?”

  Peeta nods.

  I try to hide my sigh of relief.

  That is until I find that I’m being put in a room so far from the rest of the family.

  Message received. My place here is not with the rest of the family. I can tell by Peeta's grimace he's also caught onto his mother's condescending implication.  

  “It's okay, Peeta, I do like having a place to escape, so I don't know if I really mind at all.”

  “Yeah, but it's just rude. You're my girlfriend.” He clears his throat. “I mean, she shouldn't treat you that way, and it's disrespectful to both of us,” he says with frustration.

  I put my hand on his shoulder. “It's okay, Peeta, let's just get through this as smoothly as possible. We don't play her games. We have our own antics,” I say with a smile and a wink.

  He rolls his eyes and I know he's thinking of the reference “antics.”

  One year, Peeta stress baked enough Christmas cookies to open his own bakery. When I came over to his apartment to set up for movie night, we came up with the idea of having a cookie eating contest.

  We got right to frosting in preparation for our Christmas party.

  Later on, Jo and Finnick walked in to find 12 dozen frosted cookies and Peeta chasing me with a spatula, laughing with frosting all over his face, mine being equally frosted.

  Johanna and Finnick went into a long list of our games we come up with, the chasing and teasing, referencing them as “antics.” It became a recurring joke Jo and Finnick go back to in reference to the competitions we come up with, or playful things we do together.

  “Always with the antics” became a recurring joke.

  “Ugh, now I really want some cookies!” I groan.

  Peeta lights up at the reference, and chuckles to himself. “I know where to find some!” He takes my hand and leads me out of the secluded guest room.

  I don’t really know what kind of awkwardness would have come from sharing a room with Peeta, so I put it out of my mind.

  “Did your mom call my parents hippies?” I remind him.

  Our eyes meet and we laugh.

  “Pretty much.”

  Peeta leads me to the kitchen. “You are kind of a flower child, yourself.” He pokes at my side.

  I squirm and scowl at him.

  As we eat frosted Christmas sugar cookies from Mellark’s bakery, Peeta brings up ways we should look and act like a couple. “We have to believable, right?”

  “Yeah?” I roll my eyes.

  “Let's go over ‘couply things’ we should do,” Peeta suggests, always the project manager.

  “Like hand-holding?” I deadpan, because this seems kind of silly. We're adults. We've been in plenty of relationships. I do see his point, it is hard to think of Peeta as more than a friend.

  Well, was, until Joanna opened that can of worms.

  He reaches for my hand and nods.

  I slowly grasp his large palm and interlace our fingers, ignoring the tingle that spreads with our touch.

  “Or I'll put my arm around you.” Peeta demonstrates and I try to relax in his embrace. My nerves are a little on edge.

  “Loving gestures.” His arm travels down and he rubs my back affectionately.

  Then he pulls on the end of my braid to turn me toward him.

  Peeta stares into my eyes and smooths a strand of my hair behind my ear carefully.

  I crinkle my nose.

  He laughs.

  Peeta kisses my nose.

  I gasp, startled.

  Then we both laugh.

  He pulls me into a hug as we laugh, for no reason in particular. His face snuggles down in the crook of my neck.

  I feel so...

  We hear footsteps behind us and in walks William Mellark, beaming at the couple he’s found in the kitchen.

  I push away with one hand on Peeta's chest and look up at him for what to do.

His arms remains wrapped around me.

  I'm momentarily distracted by the feel of his muscular solid chest under my fingertips.

  Peeta's attention is on the family patriarch. “Hey Dad! This is Katniss, my girlfriend,” he introduces me.

  I try not to notice the huskiness Peeta's voice took on when the said girlfriend, or the proud smile he gave.

  It almost hurts to have to lie to his dad like that. I swallow my feelings.

  As Peeta releases me from his embrace, I step forward.

  “Nice to meet you, Mr. Mellark!” I say, hoping to school my nerves.

  With familiar Mellark deep blue eyes, I'm greeted with a smile. Peeta’s dad has prominent laugh lines and the wrinkles around his eyes seem to be from happiness. His blonde hair is cut short with gray sprinkled around his temples, but I'm sure it was exactly like Peeta's in his youth.

  He's very handsome.

  I know where Peeta gets his looks.

  “It's Will to you, please? Make yourself at home here, Katniss!”

  I greet him with a handshake. “Thank you, Will!”

  The first night, the Mellarks have planned a couples’ ice skating event in town. We meet up with Peeta's brothers and their wives.

  Dane Mellark is a lawyer and it shows with the way he carries himself, seems cold and serious.

  His wife, Clara, is also blond; beautiful, perfectly manicured, and dressed like Princess Kate. I'm sure she's everything his mother wanted in a daughter-in-law.

  We make polite conversation, what I do, how we met, how Dane and Clara met. Clara’s favorite topic being their children.

  I can't shake the feeling that I don't really belong.

  Rye Mellark and his wife arrive a little later. The Middle Mellark son greets me with a warm hug and whispers, “try not to melt the ice there” with a wink.

  Is he flirting with me?

  Then, he pulls Peeta in a headlock and, mutters something that makes Peeta blush.

  I don't have time to wonder what kind of woman married him when a dark red haired bombshell smacks Rye’s arm. “Knock it off Ryen!”

  Rye releases Peeta with a huff.

  “I'm Lila, it's nice to meet you, Katniss.” Lila pulls me into a side hug, she smells like an expensive perfume.

She's clearly used to this kind of lifestyle, but from talking to her she's approachable, and genuine.

  The first time I make Rye and Lila laugh Peeta and I lock eyes. The look of pride and something else I'm not familiar with flashes in his eyes. I'm much more comfortable around them after that.

  It's a relief.

  Rye makes a big show of his backwards skating abilities. He's dressed in a black Red Wings starter jacket and hockey skates.

  Lila makes a few jokes at her husband's expense.

“Why the Red Wings didn't want him…”

  And something about How he dressed in,costume. She's funny, and clearly Rye thinks so too.

He laughs along and his eyes twinkle with love for his wife.

  There's that feeling again.

  What is it with me lately? I'm noticing that ‘love' look everywhere.

  I blame Gale.

  The outdoor rink is beautiful, with lights, greenery and holly. It even smells of evergreen.

In the center, is a decorated 30 foot tree looking magical, the music playing makes my ears buzz with nostalgia.

  I tighten my hand in Peeta's unconsciously and feel the buzz travel from my ears to my whole body as I listen.

  Taking in the scene as we make our first loop around on the glassy ice rink, I can't help but sigh in contentment.

  “I feel like a kid again!” I smile up at Peeta.

  He squeezes my hand and smiles back in reply.

  I briefly think of Madge saying “you have a calming effect on Peeta.” I wonder if he has the same effect on me, and if this feeling, similar to holiday cheer, has something to do with the man next to me.

  As if he's reading my thoughts, Peeta draws me into his arms. I'm met with his deep blue eyes and the reflection of lights dancing around us before Peeta plants a chaste kiss on my lips.

  My heart is beating faster, and I can't keep the stupid grin off my face.

The tingling sensation on my lips lingers.

  I force myself to focus on one thought,

“This is fun. We're having fun. Don't over think.”

I glance behind Peeta and realize his brothers and parents were watching us.

Smiles and whispers are shared among them.

  Oh right, this is for appearances.

  I grin back at Peeta, as if to say “It's working.”

  A confusing tightness lingers in my gut.

  I refuse to let my thoughts wander and analyze. Or think about my body’s reaction to the kiss.

  The first thing Peeta says to me once we arrive back at his parents’ house is “Hey, you know what we need? Hot Cocoa!”

  We walk with his arms wrapped around me, as if we are really a couple.

  It really felt like a first date and it was, well, wonderful.

  Peeta hands me a fresh cup of cocoa and I take my seat at the breakfast nook while he prepares his own cup.

  On the wall are cute pictures of the Mellark  boys in various stages of life.

  It's funny to see Peeta as a chubby little grade-schooler, same friendly smirk, same bright blue eyes.

  I try to think if I remember him like that at Madge's birthday parties. I just wasn't paying enough attention then. Maybe I do remember that sweet face, playing tag in Madge's back yard.

  I turn and collide with Peeta’s very full cup of steaming Hot Cocoa. It pours all down his shirt.

  Peeta hisses. He sets his cup down, and whips his shirt off to rid himself of the scalding liquid.

  I quickly reach for a napkin and attempt to dry his lap.

  He has light red marks from the cocoa, but I can't ignore his chiseled and muscular chest.

  Wow. Just. Wow.

  My movements still as we make eye contact.

  My chest feels heavy, the air feels thick.

  My whole body is very aware of this growing attraction.

  Or recurring attraction?

  This is HOT.

  “What?” Peeta says, amusement on his face.

  I must have said that out loud.

  I try to shake away the magnetism he has.

Then I realize my hand is still in his lap, lingering precariously. Was I just rubbing his... lap?

  I pull back, taking a sip of my cocoa to hide my reaction. “The cocoa is hot,” I blurt out in an attempt to recover. Looking anywhere but at Peeta.

  We quietly finish our hot chocolate.

  “Well, I think I’m ready to head to my room. I had a lot fun, Peeta, thank you,” I say.

  Peeta catches my hand and pulls me in a warm hug.

  My hands go around his back.

  His bare muscular back.

  He’s still shirtless.

  I resist the urge to moan.

  My whole body heats up again.

  “Thank you for doing this, Katniss,” Peeta whispers.

  I feel his warm breath and the brush of his lips on my neck.

  I pull away and nod, mumbling some sort of affirmation.

  I head up to my room before I do something stupid like shove him into the wall and kiss him senseless without the pretence of appearances.

  That night, I dream of a shirtless Peeta, moaning and grunting as I stroke…

  At breakfast, I’m sitting next to Peeta, sipping my coffee while he holds my hand.

  Peeta makes a joke about buttering my pancake.

  I spit a little bit of my coffee out.

  Peeta bursts into laughter.

  “The last time that happened Madge convinced us to swap shirts!” Peeta explains his laughter.

  I laugh with him as we reminisce about our humorous first encounter at Panem State in Gale’s apartment my freshman year.

  Thresh and I became fast friends with a similar family background and interest in mischief, we pranked our entire dorm hall with an airhorn, and shaving cream balloons that popped above everyone’s doors as they opened them.

  Peeta actually started joining our pizza nights at Gale’s apartment through his friendship with Thresh.

  My phone buzzes after class Friday, as I head out of my Freshman Biology class. I check my messages. It's our usual group message from Gale and Thresh conferring our weekend plans.

  Gale: Let’s make ‘Pizza Night’ a party this week?

  Me: Okay. I’ll tell Madge and Johanna. I'm sure they'll get the word out too.

  Thresh: If Kat’s ready to party I'm so in. I’ll invite some of the wrestling team. C-ya.

  Later that night, I’m shoving Pizza in my mouth while Johanna goes on about how to turn a one night stand into a weekend fling.

  Thresh takes advantage of my distraction, picks me up, and sets me in his lap.

  I laugh and elbow him in the chest while he laughs at me trying to break away.

  I swallow down my pizza, take a gulp of my beer and turn, only to be met with a pair of familiar looking blue eyes.

  Instead of saying hi to Peeta Mellark like a normal person, I spew the entire beer all over myself and start choking on what was remaining in my mouth.

  My gasping and coughing gets the attention of the entire room. Madge helps me up and whisks me away to the bathroom only to realize I was wearing a soaked white t-shirt.

Madge reads me like a book.

  “I have an idea, trust me,” she says with her mad-scientist look, taking my t-shirt with her.

  Madge somehow comes back with 2 men’s t-shirts, one smelling like Gale and another smelling delicious, like cologne and something else masculine.

  We quickly put on the larger shirts and make our way out of the bathroom.

  Madge taps a shirtless Gale and he puts on Madge’s discarded shirt without breaking his conversation with a fellow engineering student.

  I look around and realize Madge convinced everyone to switch shirts with the opposite gender.

  Johanna winks at me, then pulls a tall, handsome redhead wearing her shirt into the kitchen, revealing Peeta behind her; smiling and  wearing my wet, white t-shirt, tight across his chest like a tight crop top.

  “I think I owe you this,” he says, handing me a new beer.

  “Madge was a genius! It really livened up that party!”

  Peeta and I laugh about seeing all the guys at that party struggling to keep wearing the girls’ tight-fitting shirts on. It became a “thing” at college parties.

  “People were talking about it for weeks!”

  “I think some embarrassing pictures taken after a few rounds of shots are still floating around FB somewhere,” I snicker, then stop. My eyes widen when I think of a particular picture of Peeta and I that made me blush when it surfaced on Facebook days after that party. I don't remember anything about it, but it's been documented. Handsy when drunk. Among other...things.

  We grin at each other. Then continue eating breakfast.

  Leading up to party time, the day is nearly unbearable with tension.

  Caterers are setting up. I look over the main level and realize that it's best for me to stay out of the way while Loretta barks out orders to the decorators and her sons, putting everything in its final place.

I can tell the moment it’s all too much for Peeta. All the pressure for perfection from his mother is going to make him snap soon. He needs a moment of peace. Some time that’s is real and not for show. “Do you wanna build a snowman?” I ask. He looks at me confused, then remembers those were my code words for ‘let’s get outta here.’ He laughs. “Let’s go for a walk, Peeta? I need some fresh air,” I ask, he nods and follows me to the door. He starts heading for the sidewalk, but I pull him around toward the back through the woods. The snow is especially beautiful here in the woods, the quiet of the snowflakes falling is so soothing. “Katniss I–,” He wants to talk, but I don’t want to. I launch a snowball at his back to shut him up. He turns with a mischievous look on his face, but before he can reach for his own ammunition I pelt him twice. Snowballs fly back and forth as we laugh and dodge, weaving between trees.

  I duck behind a tree. It’s quiet, usually I can hear his heavy tread anyway, so this my chance to take him by surprise. I can’t see him anywhere. It’s silent. As I’m walking, I think I hear something, so I stop. A yank on my ankle and I’m propelled backwards landing in a soft pile of snow. Peeta’s arms wrap around me as he emerges from the snow. Before I can protest, I’m equally covered in icy cold powder. We’re rolling and laughing. Peeta pins me down in an impressive wrestling move.

  I struggle. Peeta smiles down at me. “Okay, you win this round Mellark!” I admit defeat with a huff. My mitten covered hands raised up in surrender. Peeta kisses my nose and grabs both my hands to pull me out of the snow flashing a perfect triumphant smile. I shiver, maybe from the cold, maybe from his blindingly bright blue eyes, I can’t be too sure. He must have noticed the shiver because he wraps his arms around me and pulls me into his arms whispering into my ear, “I have some wood, let’s warm you up and light that fire.“ Was that an innuendo? I raise my eyebrows. He leans in and then smirks as we make our way back to the Mellarks’ house. I sigh. I thought he was going to kiss me for “real” when no one was looking and we didn’t have to be pretending in front of his family. The snow continues to fall around us and snowflakes get tangled in his impossibly long eyelashes. I turn away before he notices me staring.

  The whole family is spending the next few days here at the house, which I learned is “an annually required family bonding time.”

  They're all set up in various guest rooms for the next few days.

  The sister in laws are doing what they can to keep the children out of anyone's way.

  A sitter was hired for the party, but isn't due to arrive yet. I offer to help Clara and Lila while they get themselves ready. Also to get my mind off a certain blue-eyed tall blonde gorgeous someone who refuses to leave my thoughts. I'm 16 again and this is all confusing.

  6 busy grand-kids 8 and under is a lot to try to keep out of mischief. We color and play games.

  “Kat-iss.”

  “No! It's Kat-miss!”

  “Kat-iss!”

  “You can call me Kat, it's okay!”

  “Can we call you Aunt Kat? Daddy says you could be someday.”

  “Well, if some day does happen, then you can call me Aunt. Until then it's just Kat to you, got it?” I give a wink to Dane’s more pragmatic children, predictably the oldest.  

  I try to keep the wildness to a minimum, but there's only so much I can do. I have to admit, the Mellarks make adorable children!

  Lila comes back as I'm tickling two of her blonde giggling sons. She gives me a look.

  “You're a natural, Katniss!” She's beaming now at the thought of more nieces or nephews.

  “Uh, thanks. I'm going to go get ready now.” I don’t want to think about any hypothetical babies with Peeta.

  I give myself a pep talk as I adjust the push up bra I'm wearing under the emerald green dress Madge picked for me. “Try to be friendly, be a calming effect on Peeta.” I sigh as I pull out the detailed instructions and diagrams on how to do my make-up.

  “Thanks Madge.” I text her, with a picture of the finished, party-ready self.

  Mrs. Mellark did a double take when she saw me. Then raised her eyebrows in surprise, “You look lovely, Katniss,” she said, followed by a slow, but sincere smile.

  I smiled back and thanked her. Wow, a smile of approval from Mrs. Mellark, I never thought I would see the day.

  All I've gathered from this party is that loads of money was spent and it's all for show. It's boring and stiff. The entire first hour was introduction and light shallow conversation. The best part of this party is the food spread and the alcohol.

  I thought we would have been able to make out way over to Annie and Finnick by now, but we are being paraded around so Mrs. Mellark can brag about her handsome successful youngest.

  Apparently, being a Biochemist is impressive enough for her, because she's bragging about what I do. I didn't even realize she was paying any attention to my career explanation and clearly she googled some of her fast facts, because she didn’t ask me a thing.

  Peeta holds my hand tightly, as if he's worried I will bolt at the first chance. Which I would be lying if I said it hasn't crossed my mind.

  Maybe Peeta is playing it up for the cameras, but it seems like he’s very eager to kiss me with every opportunity. Maybe it helps with his nerves, but the chaste kiss count is racking up today.

  When Madge’s parents find me, they pull me in a tight hug.

  “Thank you so much for your help with our fundraiser last month, Katniss! We raised so much for aid the childhood hunger that our state is facing.” Madeline Undersee, always a champion for the underdog.

  Before I can say much, Senator and Mrs. Undersee gush about me to Loretta as if I am family. This is all quite the exaggeration. I'm a surly girl who was forced to grow up too fast, I do what anyone else would in my situation. I really do enjoy helping Madge with the causes that improve things for children who grew up with the struggles I had. Why wouldn't I help?

  I can't keep but feel a little surprised by the kind words said about me.

  “I can't imagine a better addition to your family, Loretta.” The senator motions to Peeta and I.

  As the 5 of us pose for a picture, a lump forms in my throat. I never meant to deceive Madge's parents.

  With that, Peeta's mom releases her hovering over us. We've appeased her. We're free to go.

  We spot Annie and Finnick, a welcome relief. Finnick has an audience of middle aged women hanging on his every word. He holds Annie at his side, almost protectively.

  As his audience erupts in laughter, Finnick takes the opportunity to head towards us. Pulling his best friend in a hug while Annie and I catch up.

  “You two look amazing together. A very cute couple,” Annie whispers in my ear.

  I just smile and shrug.

  After only a few minutes, the four of us are laughing and reminiscing. It feels like we're finally enjoying the party, with Finnick and Annie.

  Peeta looks over at his mom, then meets my eyes and steals another kiss. A thank you.

I pretend my heart didn't just flutter.

  Finnick raises his eyebrows then looks to Annie communicating wordlessly. It creeps me out when they do that, so I mumble something about more wine.

  Peeta keeps his hand in mine and follows.

  As we walk by the grand piano, I admire its beauty.

  Peeta gives me a look I can't read and then at the piano, like he's remembering something. He squeezes my hand and leans into my ear. His hot breath brushes my bare neck. I bite my lip, trying not moan or think any dirty thoughts.

  “You should play. Sing something, like you did at my cousin's party when we were kids,” he whispers.

  I try to ignore the husky, sexy sound of his whisper. Or imagine it being something dirty he's saying.

  Peeta misreads my quietness because he tries to convince me. “I think you were 11 and you had a red dress, your hair was in 2 braids. You were so excited to show Madge that you could play the piano like she could. It was a Christmas song, wasn't it?” Peeta asks.

  I lift my head and look into his eyes, his smiling face. “Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas. I can't believe you remember that.” I try to hide my surprise.

  Peeta smiles as I find my seat on the bench.

  I haven't sang in so long but, for some reason, the look Peeta gave me all the confidence I need. I'm almost excited to sing for him.

  I play the intro on the piano and I notice the chatter in the room die down.

  “Have yourself a merry little Christmas Let your heart be light From now on your troubles will be out of sight Have yourself a merry little Christmas Make the Yuletide gay From now on your troubles will be miles away Here we are as in olden days Happy golden days of yore Faithful friends who are dear to us Gather near to us once more Through the years we all will be together If the fates allow Hang a shining star upon the highest bough So have yourself a merry little Christmas Have yourself a merry little Christmas So have yourself a merry little Christmas

Nooooooow.”

  My fingers dance over the keys as I close out the song. The dancing in my heart continues and I can't keep the joy inside from spilling out onto my face.

  Music has a way of making right something inside us. It felt like my dad was with me. Smiling.

  “Hey are you okay?” Peeta looks concerned. He starts wiping away tears I didn’t know I shed.

  I take a deep breath. “Yeah, I-I just miss them. I miss my dad,” I attempt to explain.

  Peeta pulls me into an empty room and just holds me close. Exactly what I needed.