#and the lyrics are SO hawthorne twins coded it’s ridiculous. it rewired my brain

[relicsongmel]

Sister Iris' Name

WARNING!!!!! Do not be fooled by any seemingly serious analysis to follow. This is a Shitpost. Proceed if you dare.

There’s a lot to be said about all the reasons I’m utterly obsessed with Sister Iris but by far the funniest example of my Kin-Adjacent Projection is one of my theories regarding Iris’ real first name that somehow manages to have quite a bit of substance behind it despite the fact it’s a straight up Meme Headcanon

I have a lot of thoughts on the Iris Name Drama and while I’m not 100% committed to the idea that “Iris” is just her temple name, one idea I DO like is the notion that if Mr. No-First-Name Hawthorne went to all the trouble to cut all ties to the Feys. If he made sure his daughters would never again be associated with that matriarchal society by virtue of replacing their last name. Who’s to say the twins’ first names weren’t changed as well, in a sort of final fuck-you to Kurain (and especially Morgan)?

I know it sounds odd but given how miserable Iris and Dahlia’s life in the village must have been as the powerless daughters of the woman who failed to become Master, I don’t think it would have taken much convincing for them to want to start over with wholly new names (that’s precisely what “Melissa Foster” does later, in fact). It also makes for a more believable explanation of Mia not recognizing Dahlia as her long-lost cousin in Turnabout Beginnings (even after learning her “true” name—to say nothing about not having seen her in eleven years).

Iris and Dahlia not being the twins’ original names also explains why the two don’t fit into the Fey naming convention of having a first name that starts with the letter M. And before you ask about Pearl, her being an exception to this rule actually makes sense thematically, because her name breaking the pattern is indicative of Morgan’s intent to use her to break Kurain tradition and dethrone the main family. The twins, however, are a different story—Bikini states that Misty took Morgan’s position about 20 years prior to BttT, and since Iris is 25 according to her profile…that means she and Dahlia were born back when Morgan still thought she was set to inherit the Master’s seat, and her eldest daughter would also eventually succeed her. To put it simply, Morgan would have no motive or reason not to follow tradition at the time she had her first children, if losing out to Misty was the true source of her bitterness and contempt for Kurain culture—and what eventually drove her to plot murder over it (I’m sure some would argue that she was always just a Spiteful Bitch but to me it’s a lot more interesting and tragic if she wasn’t).

“Wow Mel, that’s a lot of background and thought-provoking analysis! What’s your conclusion?” Lol. Lmao even. All this to say, there is absolutely nothing stopping me from saying Iris’ birth name…is Melanie Fey.

An M name. French for “the dark one.” Symbolic of how her character design is meant to mirror Dahlia’s—dark hair and dark pink clothing, contrasting with the fact she still has a light of goodness inside her…unlike her sister. Her sister, who has bright red hair and white/light pink clothing, masking her much darker true self underneath. The tragedy known as Dahlia Hawthorne Marisol Fey.

Another M name, Spanish for “Mary of the Solitude,” but also containing the word for “sun.” The sun, the center of the solar system. The Master of it. Marisol, daughter of the fallen Master, with nothing left but her blinding light. And if her light can’t lead as it was meant to…then the only thing left is to use it to burn the world to cinders.

The vengeful sun, Marisol…and the dark moon with no light of her own, reflecting the light back, in hopes that maybe the sun will see she’s still worth something.

Melanie Fey.

I, Melanie Relicsongmel, can make a well-thought out and justified explanation for headcanoning Iris’ first name to be the same as my own and the fact I can get away with it will never not be hilarious to me. Never ask me for any Iris meta ever again because clearly I cannot be trusted with this kind of power. Don’t say I didn’t warn y’all