#and the longest being the 13mo of hell at the group home | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

slippery-minghus · 4 years ago

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between having hardly any spoons and being paranoid that i'm broke after nearly overdrawing my account a few weeks ago for the first time in years, i havent really been eating right (or enough) and ugh i'm just so tired of it. i've been living off of pb&js and whatever i can scrape together for dinner. im so tired

#im feeling really crappy today and it's ramping up The Sad #my eczema is flaring again bc the doc said to take a 1wk break from the steroid cream every 2wks #and god it hasnt been this bad in months #i'm hoping it's just bc i had some dairy last week so i'm gonna try to not have any this week and see if it clears up at all #and i'm trying really hard not to spend any money but i also havent cooked for myself in weeks #i know i'm just in a downswing and it's temprary but it doesnt make the thought of having a real sandwich make me want to cry any less #but this is what it's gonna be like when i finally get my act together and get my own car insurance #more than half of my monthly income goes to rent and another big chunk to therapy #at least my credit card is paid off but fuck i wouldnt be able to afford even pb&j if i still had that bill to pay #my job does not pay me nearly enough for how much work i do #i've been there almost 6mo now (damn) and it's starting to get a little stale #i've had a lot of jobs and this is the third longest i've ever stayed somewhere #second being the 8 or so months at the donut shop when i first moved here (which i only left bc pandemic)#and the longest being the 13mo of hell at the group home #i dont usually stay anywhere for more than a few months #but i'm finally getting some skills other than brewing coffee so i've gotta stick it out #and i do like my job. it's just... too much sometimes #idunno #im tired and sad and it still gets dark too early and i just havent been eating enough #i think i could use a nap but it's already 4 and idk i nap maybe once or twice a year and it's never worth it #personal

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