#and the evil fae masterminds behind it slowly converting us all into fae sympathizers

[chaotismz]

I've never been part of the Tumblr Art Community, because I've always been too self-conscious and embarrassed of my skills to feel like anything I had was worth sharing. The same goes for my writing, although I did actually make a few attempts long ago.

I'm also autistic, and it makes it hard for me to talk to people (I'm super shy outside of the manic episodes), especially when it comes to people I look up to.

So I really don't know the rules when it comes to interacting with other peoples' AUs. I hope I don't overstep any boundaries with the inspiration I borrow from those that I admire. If I do, I hope someone will come along and kindly tell me where to draw the line.

Long story short, ever since I started following the #valrayne-faeu I've been feeling... inspired. By the characters, the Lore, and limitless potential. So, even though it's been over ten years since the last time I attempted to draw something, I am doing it.

That is to say, I am putting my toes in the water, at the very shallowest end of the pool. I'm still too insecure to jump in all the way, but even as I write this I am slowly inching my way further in.

I have a tablet now, so I'm making my first-ever attempt at digital art by designing my own Faesona! And last night, I started planning out a multi-chapter fanfic that I'm really excited to begin - I even wrote out over SEVEN pages (handwritten) of an excerpt for a future chapter that I'm actually quite proud of, and maybe one day when I'm brave enough, I'll share it here. Maybe I'll even teach myself how to make comics so I can illustrate some of the scenes! I hope I can, I already see them vividly in my head.

I honestly don't know who I'm writing this post for, maybe no one, but I just felt like I needed to do it. Maybe it's for myself. Maybe speaking it into existence like this will help keep me motivated. I'm in the clutches of rapid hyperfixation so who knows how long it'll last. But I'm feeling pretty good right now, and if I just take it one step at a time maybe it'll last long enough to finish at least one.

All I know is that I haven't felt this way in a really long time, and despite the fact that I also wanna cry so so bad right now, I'm gonna let it take me as far as it can.