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jumbleddufus · 1 year ago

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I swear it's always "I love you so much!" but never

"I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world's cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to divide fractions, and no matter how difficult is it to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decide to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform.

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you next Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if abandon your baticeering and I will love you if you retire from the theatre to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer.

I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written.

I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm wale loves the flavor of naval uniforms.

I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of their parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safe keeping.

I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanism. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery, and as a crow loves murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence, and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a falling shingle off a house.

I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp, and as a blimp loves to chase after it.

I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person's back, and as a certain person loves to wear dagger proof tunics, and as a dagger proof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as a noise of a glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping out into the world.

I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest policeman. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes that S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of V. I will love you until the bird hates the nest and the worm hates the apple, and until the apple hates the tree and the tree hates the nest, although honestly, I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try.

I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and that long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you as the chances of us running into each other slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by a distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don't see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me, happens to you as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else—your co-star perhaps, or Y., or even Q. or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I think it will be quite some time before two woman can be allowed to marry—and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned.

That Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way. Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope."

#me realizing that i will never be loved the way lemony loves beatrice #me and who fr #lemony snicket #beatrice baudelaire #the beatrice letters #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #long post #faves #jumbleddufus rambles

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artofdeductionbysholmes · 9 days ago

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I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from slim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and you fog memorized by a distant face.

-L.S

If you're going to quote something, try doing it properly instead of this scattershot recital. Entire thing, please, if it's not too much trouble.

"My dearest darling,

…Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope.

I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if you abandon your baticeering, and I will love you if you retire from the theater to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M.

I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fetuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness in the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of its parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safekeeping.

I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it. I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear daggerproof tunics, and as a daggerproof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled.

I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt form the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try.

I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this.

I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else — your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. — although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry — and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned.

That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

…I miss you. Who knows when I will see you?"

-Lemony Snicket (copied from here)

I never thought— that I wanted to care for someone like that. But, apparently, I do.

@johnhwatsonblog

#sherlock holmes rp #sherlock roleplay #sherlock rp #rp #sherlock replies #sherlock holmes roleplay #lemony snicket #love letter #the beatrice letters #a series of unfortunate events #quotes

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dreamsofg0ld · 4 months ago

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The Beatrice Letters (LS to BB #5)

How I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way

Dusk My dearest darling,

…Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope.

I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled.

That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

…I miss you. Who knows when I will see you?

#i haven’t seen any post on tumblr with the entirety of this letter #so blessing y’alls dashboard with said masterpiece today ☺️#a series of unfortunate events #the beatrice letters #lemony snicket #dark academia #beatrice baudelaire #asoue #literature #love #romantic academia #light academia #quotes #💌#myedits

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malusienki · 9 months ago

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“I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and ats the horseradish loves the miyagi, and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written.

I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else--and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.”

— lemony snicket in the beatrice letters

#ash gone silly #asoue #<- i guess #the beatrice letters #lemony snicket #just posted the quote myself because i don’t feel like looking for the post with it #asoueposting

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wouldnt-give-a-fig · 8 months ago

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The "I Will Love You" Letter by Lemony Snicket (pt 1)

Always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope.

Pt 2 Pt 3

#lemony snicket #a series of unfortunate events #asoue #love letters #prose poetry #the beatrice letters #quotes #poetry

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n0t-1nt3r3st1ng · 1 year ago

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The letter.

Okay, full disclosure. I was gonna write about another fanfic I've been procrastinating for a while when this idea crawled into my mind and wouldn't let me do aything else.

This scenario is incomplete because A) I like reading fluff but I'm terrible at writing it, B)It's 3AM and I really need to sleep, C) the more I wrote the more anxious I got about finding the perfect words and no one in the history of written language has ever written anything good thinking that way. So what you get is as good as I can do.

If anyone can or wishes to complete what I've done, be my guest. My only selfish request is that you give it a happy ending.

That been said, let's start.

Imagine Enid writing letters for Wednesday but never having the courage to give it to her and shredding them with her nails.

Imagine her trying to muster the courage to walk the few steps that separate them (thirteen, she counted) and put the papers on her hands only to fail every time.

How the cold fear would grab her by the spine and freeze her heart while Esther's voice sounds from the back of her mind, laughing at the idea of someone like Wednesday finding her remotely likelable. No, it didn't matter Wednesday herself had told her how much she meant to her, she think she was only being nice.

So she pours her feelings on the page over and over trying and failing to convey her love but Esther is still there, reminding her. She's always there.

And every morning she takes the shreds in her pockets to throw them far away from their dorm.

Except one night she falls asleep and wakes up late. She hurries to class and takes what she thought was the letter with her. Except the only thing she took was a few blank pages. The letter was on the floor, under her desk.

Wednesday didn't had as many classes as Enid that day. After taking care of the beehives with Eugene, she walks back to their room. Her writing hour, after all.

She notices the paper as soon as she enters the room. Try as she might, she always checks Enid's side when she enters even though she knows her schedule by heart.

If a person were to enter the room and had a chance to view both sides, they'd probably describe Enid's as warm and homely. Or perhaps they'd wonder where the knife currently lodged in their throat came from and if this was how they die. On both accounts, they'd be right.

Wednesday is a creature of the night and as such despises the glow coming from Enid's fairy lights. She abhors color in the same way a vampire avoids religious symbols and for the same reason too.

But most of all she hates the fact Enid's not there.

Without her the glow of the lights is dim like a distant star in the empty void of space.

Without her, the bed is dead and colourless.

Without Enid... she doesn't want to finish her chain of thoughts.

Instead she walks the thirteen steps that separate one side from the other (she counted) and bends to pick the sheet of paper.

She stands up and is about to put it on Enid's desk when she notices her name is on it.

It reads:

"My beloved Wednesday,

I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp... I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close... I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else--and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

Yours always. Continuously. With increasing apprehension, and decreasing hope.

Enid Sinclair."

Wednesday can only stare at the letter. She's never been good at handling strong emotions and right now she feels as if she's experiencing all of them.

Then the door opens and Enid walks in. She wants to ask what she's doing but her voice dies as she sees the paper on Wednesday hand.

Aaaand that's all I got.

#wenclair #wenclair au #wednesday addams #enid sinclair

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walterdecourceys · 2 years ago

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I will love you with no regard to the actions of our enemies or the jealousies of actors. I will love you with no regard to the outrage of certain parents or the boredom of certain friends. I will love you no matter what is served in the world’s cafeterias or what game is played at each and every recess. I will love you no matter how many fire drills we are all forced to endure, and no matter what is drawn upon the blackboard in a blurring, boring chalk. I will love you no matter how many mistakes I make when trying to reduce fractions, and no matter how difficult it is to memorize the periodic table. I will love you no matter what your locker combination was, or how you decided to spend your time during study hall. I will love you no matter how your soccer team performed in the tournament or how many stains I received on my cheerleading uniform. I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you if you cut your hair and I will love you if you cut the hair of others. I will love you if you abandon your baticeering, and I will love you if you retire from the theater to take up some other, less dangerous occupation. I will love you if you drop your raincoat on the floor instead of hanging it up and I will love you if you betray your father. I will love you even if you announce that the poetry of Edgar Guest is the best in the world and even if you announce that the work of Zilpha Keatley Snyder is unbearably tedious. I will love you if you abandon the theremin and take up the harmonica and I will love you if you donate your marmosets to the zoo and your tree frogs to M. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fetuccini and as the horseradish loves the miyagi, as the tempura loves the ikura and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness in the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged print of the document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a child loves to overhear the conversations of its parents, and the parents love the sound of their own arguing voices, and as the pen loves to write down the words these voices utter in a notebook for safekeeping. I will love you as a shingle loves falling off a house on a windy day and striking a grumpy person across the chin, and as an oven loves malfunctioning in the middle of roasting a turkey. I will love you as an airplane loves to fall from a clear blue sky and as an escalator loves to entangle expensive scarves in its mechanisms. I will love you as a wet paper towel loves to be crumpled into a ball and thrown at a bathroom ceiling and an eraser loves to leave dust in the hairdos of the people who talk too much. I will love you as a cufflink loves to drop from its shirt and explore the party for itself and as a pair of white gloves loves to slip delicately into the punchbowl. I will love you as a taxi loves the muddy splash of a puddle and as a library loves the patient tick of a clock. I will love you as a thief loves a gallery and as a crow loves a murder, as a cloud loves bats and as a range loves braes. I will love you as misfortune loves orphans, as fire loves innocence and as justice loves to sit and watch while everything goes wrong. I will love you as a battlefield loves young men and as peppermints love your allergies, and I will love you as the banana peel loves the shoe of a man who was just struck by a shingle falling off a house. I will love you as a volunteer fire department loves rushing into burning buildings and as burning buildings love to chase them back out, and as a parachute loves to leave a blimp and as a blimp operator loves to chase after it. I will love you as a dagger loves a certain person’s back, and as a certain person loves to wear daggerproof tunics, and as a daggerproof tunic loves to go to a certain dry cleaning facility, and how a certain employee of a dry cleaning facility loves to stay up late with a pair of binoculars, watching a dagger factory for hours in the hopes of catching a burglar, and as a burglar loves sneaking up behind people with binoculars, suddenly realizing that she has left her dagger at home. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp, and as a gasping person loves a glass of brandy to calm their nerves, and as a glass of brandy loves to shatter on the floor, and as the noise of glass shattering loves to make someone else gasp, and as someone else gasping loves a nearby desk to lean against, even if leaning against it presses a lever that loves to open a drawer and reveal a secret compartment. I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and until all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and until every home is rebuilt form the handsomest and most susceptible of woods, and until every criminal is handcuffed by the laziest of policemen. I will love you until M. hates snakes and J. hates grammar, and I will love you until C. realizes S. is not worthy of his love and N. realizes he is not worthy of the V. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple, and until the apple hates a tree and the tree hates a nest, and until a bird hates a tree and an apple hates a nest, although honestly I cannot imagine that last occurrence no matter how hard I try. I will love you as we grow older, which has just happened, and has happened again, and happened several days ago, continuously, and then several years before that, and will continue to happen as the spinning hands of every clock and the flipping pages of every calendar mark the passage of time, except for the clocks that people have forgotten to wind and the calendars that people have forgotten to place in a highly visible area. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close that we could slip the curved straw, and the long, slender spoon, between our lips and fingers respectively. I will love you until the chances of us running into one another slip from skim to zero, and until your face is fogged by distant memory, and your memory faced by distant fog, and your fog memorized by a distant face, and your distance distanced by the memorized memory of a foggy fog. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, no matter where you avoid and who you don’t see, and no matter who sees you avoiding where you go. I will love you no matter what happens to you, and no matter how I discover what happens to you, and no matter what happens to me as I discover this, and no matter how I am discovered after what happens to me happens to me as I am discovering this. I will love you if you don’t marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else – your co-star, perhaps, or Y., or even O., or anyone Z. through A., even R. although sadly I believe it will be quite some time before two women can be allowed to marry – and I will love you if you have a child, and I will love you if you have two children, or three children, or even more, although I personally think three is plenty, and I will love you if you never marry at all, and never have children, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all, and I must say that on late, cold nights I prefer this scenario out of all the scenarios I have mentioned. That, Beatrice, is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

lemony snicket - the beatrice letters

#bolding added by me!#lmk if indenting it makes it inaccessible btw #lemony snicket #poetry #fave #long post #tumblr won't let me add a readmore for some reason sorry. look at the lemony snicket poem boy

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holiday-7 · 1 year ago

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#lemony snicket #a series of unfortunate events #book quotes

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keep-y0urselfwarm · 2 years ago

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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp... I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close... I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else--and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters (A Series of Unfortunate Events)

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dandelyle · 2 years ago

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I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp... I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close... I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else—and I will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way.

Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

#cc.txt #lemony snicket #thinking of him <3 #🍊

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grqwing · 5 months ago

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Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

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solivagant-nubivagant · 1 year ago

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#1 November 2023

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metamorphicallydead · 1 year ago

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Lemony Snicket, The Beatrice Letters

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simp4daniel · 2 years ago

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The Unsent Letter, The Beatrice Letters.

"I will love you if I never see you again, and I will love you if I see you every Tuesday. I will love you as the starfish loves a coral reef and as kudzu loves trees, even if the oceans turn to sawdust and the trees fall in the forest without anyone around to hear them. I will love you as the pesto loves the fettuccini and ats the horseradish loves the miyagi, and the pepperoni loves the pizza. I will love you as the manatee loves the head of lettuce and as the dark spot loves the leopard, as the leech loves the ankle of a wader and as a corpse loves the beak of the vulture. I will love you as the doctor loves his sickest patient and a lake loves its thirstiest swimmer. I will love you as the beard loves the chin, and the crumbs love the beard, and the damp napkin loves the crumbs, and the precious document loves the dampness of the napkin, and the squinting eye of the reader loves the smudged document, and the tears of sadness love the squinting eye as it misreads what is written. I will love you as the iceberg loves the ship, and the passengers love the lifeboat, and the lifeboat loves the teeth of the sperm whale, and the sperm whale loves the flavor of naval uniforms. I will love you as a drawer loves a secret compartment, and as a secret compartment loves a secret, and as a secret loves to make a person gasp... I will love you until all such compartments are discovered and opened, and all the secrets have gone gasping into the world. I will love you until all the codes and hearts have been broken and until every anagram and egg has been unscrambled. I will love you until every fire is extinguished and rebuilt from the handsomest and most susceptible of woods. I will love you until the bird hates a nest and the worm hates an apple. I will love you as we find ourselves farther and farther from one another, where once we were so close... I will love you until your face is fogged by distant memory. I will love you no matter where you go and who you see, I will love you if you don't marry me. I will love you if you marry someone else--and i will love you if you never marry at all, and spend your years wishing you had married me after all. That is how I will love you even as the world goes on its wicked way."

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meowzfordayz · 3 years ago

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hashira at home (aka domesticity)

Author’s Note: writing these made me feel all mushy gushy in love in pining in every heart emoji existent and nonexistent. 😌 Considered writing Tengen w/o Hina, Makio, and Suma, buuut they make me feel all mushy gushy too. 🤗

hashira at home (aka domesticity)

Hashira x Reader

Word Count: ~3,100

CW: explicit language, mild sexual content

~faqs~

Loves ironing

All your cloth napkins? Crisp, pristine, folded just right

Dress pants? Not a misaligned seam in sight

If you own anything pleated? Orgasmic

He used to iron the curtains until you switched them to shutters

Because seriously: who irons curtains ?!

Your lovely, love Gyomei — that’s who

—Actually though, you just got tired of tripping on them

—Plus, shutters can be adjusted

—Whereas with curtains, it’s all or nothing

That one time you bought a shirt that was intentionally wrinkled?

Yanno, the scrunched styles that hold their scrunch even after washing?

Yeah

Gyomei BAWLED trying to get that shit unwrinkled

—You come home to him crying over the ironing board

“Um… love?”

“[y/n]!” utterly aghast

“Your shirt won’t smooth — I’ve tried everything,” tiny whimper

“a l l a f t e r n o o n,” sniffle

“I’m so sorry.”

You raise an eyebrow

Is that my nice…

A giggle escapes you

Gyomei glances in your general direction, alarmed by the noise

You walk to him, resting a light hand on top of his

“Don’t worry Gyomei, it’s supposed to be wrinkly.”

WHAAaaatTTT ?!?!?!

Snaps at you if you try to help around the house

It’s ridiculous

Okay it’s kind of sweet

And you have a lot more free time since you rarely have to do chores

But you feel… lowkey useless?

Obanai’s breadwinner AND housekeeper?

Hello, sir, what is my purpose here?

Not that you do literally nothing !!

But he objectively takes on significantly more

“I told you [y/n],” he mutters exasperatedly, “Don’t wash the dishes. I’ve got it.”

That’s the final straw

You sink to the kitchen floor, back against the fridge, elbows propped on your knees, hands hiding your face

He frowns

Oops?

Crouches in front of you

Gently attempts to pry your hands away

No such luck

“... babe? [y/n]? What did I say?”

“M’useless Obanai,” you whisper

His expression tightens

“Useless? [y/n]? Where is this coming from?”

He’s not angry at you

But he’s pissed at whatever—whoever—is causing you to feel this way

“I-” you gulp, “Idon’tdoanythingaroundhere,” you blubber.

Huh?

“You, y-you, you work every day, do the chores every day, scold me whenever I t-try to help. I’m uSELESS.”

You’re sobbing, miniscule shudders wracking your huddled form

Well damn

Now Obanai’s pissed at himself

“How long have you felt this way babe?” he asks quietly, worriedly

Inwardly, he berates himself

Disgusted—disappointed—that he’s the reason you’re collapsed, disheveled

“I dunno,” you mumble

“You aren’t useless. Never. Ever. Impossible. I just,” he exhales shakily, frustrated tears threatening to fall, “I just want you to be able to do what you want. To pursue what you want.”

“What if I wanna clean the toilet?” your bottom lip quivers as you finally peek at him through your fingers

He smiles wryly, snaking #punintended his palms under your forearms to cup your cheeks

“I never meant for you to feel useless. Only taken care of, cherished,” he touches his forehead to yours, “Adored.”

“You go overboard,” you grumble

“We could make a chores chart?” he offers

“What are we, children?” you scoff

He pecks your nose, “No, but I do go overboard, and a schedule could help me keep myself in check.”

Nodding tentatively, you grasp his wrists, your eyes staring wetly, brightly into the soft dampness of his own

He helps you up, pulling you into a firm, reassuring hug

Murmurs playfully into your hair

“You can clean the toilet anytime. I promise.”

Wants to help you so badly

But always seems to miss a spot

A splotch of grease on the stovetop

A stain on a shirt

Crumbs on the counter

Smudges on a glass

“Mitsuri, my honey, are these clean or dirty?” you’re peering into the dishwasher

“You can’t tell?” she giggles, peering into the dishwasher beside you

“Nope,” you respond matter-of-factly

“I swear I rinsed them off before putting them in,” she pouts

Thing is

You believe her

100%

She’s your golden gal

It’s not her lack of effort that’s ever problematic

She just

Sucks at cleaning ?????

“Mitsuri,” you smile fondly as she pouts harder, already knowing what you’re about to say, “I appreciate that you tried.”

“I did tryyy,” she wails, “Lemme try again? I mean, how pathetic am I that I can’t even wash dishes using a dishwasher?”

You’re doing your best not to snort

Really, truly

You end up snorting anyway

She stands, hands on her hips, glaring

You giggle

Laugh

Laugh until the corners of your eyes tear up

She grabs your stupid face and kisses your stupid mouth

Begins to storm away

You continue laughing as you catch her waist, tugging her in for another kiss

She’s your golden gal

Making and drinking tea with you, for you, is her favorite pastime

Breakfast

With any and all snacks

Lunch

During and after dinner

At least, you assume it’s her favorite pastime what with how often she places a steaming mug next to you

In reality, it’s twofold

One: she does enjoy tea

Your tea collection would make practically anyone envious

Black: chai (5 varieties), English and Irish Breakfast, Earl Grey, etc

Green: genmaicha, hojicha, jasmine, matcha (4 varieties), sencha, etc

Herbal: chamomile, fruity (8 varieties), ginger, peppermint and spearmint, etc

Miscellaneous: dessert teas (6 varieties), medicinal teas (7 varieties), and white teas (3 varieties)

Two: she noticed at the beginning of your relationship that you constantly forgot to hydrate

So brewing you a heavenly mug of tea also ensures your health

Tea collection aside

Your mug collection is…

Err

It’s

There’s a lot of them

Fancier, hand made mugs — acquired throughout your travels together

Silly, impulsively purchased mugs with cute phrases on them—“Positivi-TEA” and “Tea (n.) a hug in a cup”—things like that

As well as your mugs and her mugs — personal favorites that require permission before borrowing

Gosh forbid either of you break each other’s

You did, once

Shinobu forgave you… eventually

But she’s broken two of yours

And if she ever breaks a third, you’re claiming the right to break one of hers

Because like: first time’s an accident, second’s time a coincidence… but a third time ??

—Don’t worry, y’all make stunning mosaics or fridge magnets or whatever from the broken pieces

Refuses to buy any rugs

Not even for the bathroom

Y’all have a slightly raised, bamboo platform instead

“It’s better for the environment,” he claims, “Less microfibers getting into our water system.”

You purse your lips

Sure

The house’s floors are wooden

Gleaming, planks—swept daily by the man himself

He gushes constantly about the “natural aesthetic”

About how sunlight alters and shadows the pine differently throughout the day

The “charm” of creaky boards — the familiarity of learning exactly how and where to step

In order to not wake each other in the morning

Or to “accidentally” wake each other

Depending on your moods

Hehehe

And it is

It’s absolutely the aesthetic

The aesthetic of you

You’re so lively, wondrous, incredible

He’d hate to mute your brilliance with a rug

Patterned or solid

Bright, dark, shaggy, woven

Cheap or expensive

You move with an elegance, a timelessness

Deserving of an environment that accents your magnificence

Not competes with it

“You’re silly,” you poke his cheek, giggling at his intensity, “Nobody thinks like that about rugs, and I wouldn’t feel offended or insecure if we got one or two.”

He shakes his head resolutely, eyes as piercing as they are affectionate, “No.”

“My feet get cold in the winter, Kyo,” you cross your arms

“I strongly dislike vacuuming,” he’s stubborn, “And rugs dirty quickly.”

“That has nothing to do with my cold feet.”

“Wear socks,” he suggests, “Or slippers?”

“You know damn well those only help to a certain extent.”

He resists chuckling

He does know, damn well too, that socks or slippers aren’t enough for your poor feet

“You can use me as your foot warmer,” he shrugs nonchalantly

“That’s only convenient in bed, Kyo.”

He smiles at that

In his opinion, your freezing toes curling into his overheated skin every night as you cuddle into bed is the best part about winter

The delicious sound you don’t even realize you’re making as you melt into his welcoming embrace

Hm…

Maybe that’s why he’s so anti rug?

He’s whipped though

So like

He buys you a rug

Obsessed with minimalism

Not that you’re particularly cluttered yourself

But this man’s fanatic

“Quality over quantity,” he frequently remarks

Which, you agree

But minimalism can be… inconvenient?

Like, for some things, sure, minimalism is nice

You appreciate knowing where stuff is

That’s there rhyme and reason—meaning—to your possessions

Plus, he doesn’t encroach on your personal belongings

You could use 3 closets or take up ¾ of the bathroom space, and he wouldn’t care

—1 closet and ½ of the bathroom space is plenty anyway

But you’re tired of constantly doing laundry because you only own

2 sheet sets

12 towels: 2 body towels, 2 hand towels, 2 washcloths, 2 dishrags, and 4 for cleaning

And constantly hand washing dishes because you only own

settings for 4

1 of basically anything you could think of (i.e. mixing bowl, spatula, cutting board, etc)

Thing is, you don’t own enough dishes/kitchenware to properly fill up the dishwasher

He does laundry and washes dishes too, of course

But you eventually sit him down

“We need to talk.”

He nods slowly, anxiously recalling your recent interactions

Did I forget to kiss them good morning?

Or good night?

Maybe I left them on read again?

Except you don’t get upset over petty shit

Which worries him even more

Why do we need to talk ?!

Ohmyfuck

They’re breaking up with me ?!

I’m going to have to move out, find a new place, a new roommate, never love again

This is really happening, this can’t be happ-

“Nemi?” your voice interrupts his internal spiraling, “Are you okay? Is there something you need to tell me first? You… you’re, trembling?”

He glances at his hands, resting nervously on the kitchen table

“Areyoubreakingupwithme?”

Your eyes widen, softening with concern

“Absolutely not, Nemi,” and then quietly, “Are you breaking up with me?”

“Hell no.”

His head tilts back as he laughs, delirious with relief

You give him a moment—equally relieved—taking note of his now steady hands

“So what do we need to talk about?” he smiles warmly, previous tension released

“I want to buy more sheets. And towels. And dishes. And kitchenware. We could save a lot on water if we did laundry less often, and we’d actually be able to run the dishwasher.”

That’s it ?? He almost laughs again

“Okay.” He’s not putting up a fight? “But not too many more,” he adds teasingly Ahh, there’s my Nemi, “Can we go together?”

You interlock your fingers with his, fondness in your grip, “We can go together, Mr. Minimalism.”

He huffs

You compromise on 1 extra sheet set, and double your amount of towels

As for dishes and kitchenware?

You take him thrifting

So that all of your new-to-us goodies represent something special

Getting to build a life

Together

… you knew it was coming

Yuuup *pop that p*

This cutie patootie loses everything around the house

Doesn’t matter how many “designated areas” you create

Car keys on the key rack? More like in the freezer

—You installed a front door padlock after Muichiro locked himself out for the 17th time (yes, you kept track)

Socks in the sock drawer? More like one behind the couch, one in the fruit bowl

—Sundays are for sock hunting (he gets a smooch for every sock he finds — not that you withhold them normally, but the “prize” aspect motivates him)

Glass of water he poured himself 5 minutes ago? “[y/n] !! Have you seen my water ?????”

—You have

—You’re staring at it

—He left it beside you when he went to go to the bathroom

And the house is modest — 1 bedroom, 1 bathroom, kitchen, living room with conjoined office

It’s not like he’s dealing with 5 bedrooms, 3 bathrooms, 2 kitchens, etc

He’s just… scatterbrained

All the labeling you’ve done would be helpful… if he took a moment to read them before putting something down

He’s not allowed in the kitchen anymore

More accurately: he’s not allowed to do anything remotely complicated — in the kitchen

Because then you

Find bowls on the plates shelf

Realize there’s salt mixed in the sugar

Can’t figure out where the milk went (milk cartons aren’t inconspicuous either, so like ??)

End up with four somewhat worn out sponges (as opposed to wearing one out at a time)

Sometimes you wonder if you’re the issue

Like, what if he’s not that scatterbrained and you’re just irritatingly organized?

But he reassures you that that’s not the case

“[y/n], without you, the house wouldn’t function. I’m a mess.”

He doesn’t mean this self deprecatingly — he’s simply self aware and grateful for you

Surprisingly, he’s decent at shopping (as long as he’s got a list)

Groceries, toiletries, cleaning supplies, etc

He’s on it

And he’s eager when it comes to DIY projects

Still can’t trust him with big stuff (i.e. installations — you handle those)

But he paints all the walls

Scratches a couple tiny hearts above the baseboards

He thinks he’s sneaky, but you find them pretty quickly

—I mean, living w/ him you’ve basically become Master of All Things Lost & Found

You don’t mention it though, because it’s

Adorable, intimate, precious

Guarding the flip side of the same secret

He’s sooooo clingy

But never too clingy

He’s baby bear clingy

The perfect amount

Especially since he does a 180 whenever you’re out in public

Not that he doesn’t acknowledge you or your relationship in public !!

He’s just… very subtle

But at home?

Giyuu’s the opposite of subtle

He’s come-up-behind-you-and-kiss-your-neck-while-you’re-washing-dishes opposite of subtle

He’s always-offers-to-make-you-a-cup-a-bowl-a-plate-of-whatever-he’s-having opposite of subtle

He’s tickle-you-in-bed-on-the-couch-anywhere-and-everywhere-until-you’re-screaming opposite of subtle

He’s let-me-join-you-in-the-shower-so-I-can-scrub-and-massage-your-back opposite of subtle

He’s you-haven’t-kissed-me-in-10-minutes-so-come-kiss-me-before-I-faint opposite of subtle

Not to mention

He’s mastered the art of hickeys

Mastered as in

He knows precisely how to suck, to nibble, so they’ll linger when you’re home

And fade by the time you go out again

His clinginess is… heartwarming

Endearing

A reminder—just for you—of his love, his attention, his commitment

The begining of your relationship was the epitome of slow burn

Took months for him to tell you his favorite color

Let alone anything else

But you were persistent in your dazzling, patient way

As was he

Most relationships are draining for him

He isn’t exactly the, “I hate people,” type

He’s the, “I know my social battery and boundaries, and I respect them first and foremost,” type

So to stumble upon someone—you—who respects his social battery and boundaries just as firmly?

He consciously, constantly, lets you in

Because somehow, without even trying, you rarely exhaust him

You nurture him

Soothe him

Mature him

And he does his best to do the same for you

The house could be a museum

Ffs

Art everywhere

Paintings, drawings, mosaics, collages, sculptures, decorative ceramics, glassware, etc

It doesn’t help that the house is huge: more house = more art

There’s five of you living in it, yanno

Occasionally, you, Hina, Makio, and Suma add your own interests to the museum

But generally, Tengen’s essentially curating five people’s worth of art

Most of it created by local artists

Some personal indulgences of his

Like the gigantic glass wave in the living room

And the massive origami chandelier in the dining room

And the handwoven tapestry in the master bedroom

Okay

By “some” it’s really “at least a third”

And yet, he manages to put everything in just the right spot

So that it isn’t overwhelming

Probably because you and Makio would start auctioning off some of your least favorite pieces otherwise

But he makes it come together

So you and Makio restrain yourselves from throwing an eBay event

Hina and Suma are… less opinionated

—Suma enjoys the pretty colors

—Hina has only one qualm: an embarrassing photo of all of you framed near the entrance of the house

“It’s my favorite photo,” Tengen protests

He’s standing in the middle, arms crossed smugly proudly

Makio’s kissing your cheek

While Suma kisses Hina’s

“You look like our pimp,” Makio snorts

“There’s a lot of love in the photo,” you murmur softly

“Exactly!” Tengen exclaims

“Not including you,” you smirk, “You’re the smug bastard in the center.”

Tengen’s eyes narrow as Hina pulls you, Makio, and Suma into a hug

A hug very noticeably excluding him

Hpmf

He grins to himself

*cue loud squealing*

He doesn’t follow a strict workout regimen for ~nothing

Who is he if he can’t pick up all of his partners at once?

“Crushing- Ribs-” you gasp

*heavy panting*

“You know we love you too,” you wink teasingly

—After he lets everyone down

—And everyone catches their breath

—Except for him, obviously, he doesn’t need to catch his breath

—Lifting four people? Light work

“I know,” he chuckles, touching his thumb to your cheek

“I love [y/n] the most though,” Suma snuggles into your arm

—You’re her cooking partner in crime

“Me too,” Makio sticks her tongue out at Tengen, grabbing your other arm

—You’re her give-Tengen-a-hard-time partner in crime

Tengen looks to Hina ~hopelessly

—You’re her rock, her stability, her sanity (four partners is a lot to juggle)

She rolls her eyes, wiggling between you and him

Caresses your face, kisses your slightly parted lips

Warm, sweet, tender

Tengen growls

“Wait your turn pretty man,” Hina murmurs

He waits

No matter how long

He’ll wait

In line at the supermarket with an obnoxiously full shopping cart

Up at night for the last of you to return from work: if he’s home the latest, then he’s sure to check in on all of you

For all of you to get ready when you go out: it takes forever because getting ready to go out = y’all basically have a slumber party minus the slumber and minus Tengen

His turn to join in on cuddles, because sometimes y’all just don’t give a damn about him—lovingly, of course (he’s secure, he can handle it)

To kiss each of you as deeply, slowly, playfully as you want—as you need

You four are worth all of his time

Worth all of the time in the world

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