#and the amount of times i've embarrassed myself by asking if they're real bc my state got so bad i really thought i made people up

[bpdamandayoung]

and other thing i really love everybody i talk to here on tumblr but i'm so afraid of doing something wrong so i pull away bc i can't stand losing someone i like and admire

[autisticlancemcclain]

fic rec friday 47

hello and welcome to fic rec friday! where, on friday, i rec five of my favourite fics.

Damnit, Pidge by spirkylurkey

Pidge has some top-secret-classified-don't-tell-Keith-info that she accidentally lets slip to, you guessed it, Keith. Lance is an embarrassed mess. Keith isn't faring much better, to be honest.

this one made me LAUGH the way that this all pidge's fault and she's literally like. well. you shouldn't be so gay then. and she's right!! they're so dumb i love them

2. Operation: Faking It by @writeonclara

“What the hell, guys?” Pidge squawked, wrestling away from Matt. “Why are you pretending to be a couple?” Or: Matt and Lance pretend to be a couple because Shiro and Keith are clueless as hell.

do you guys remember shatt?? i remember shatt. adashi will always have my heart but shatt will literally always be funny bc ofc thats ur fic name. anyways. this fic is mostly klance but the entire concept is just so ridiculously goofy that u have to laugh. do you like lance and matt? do you like fake relationship to real relationship? do you like inverted tropes? do you like pining? do you like comedic jealousy? then this fic is well and truly for you because it has all that and more

3. all's well that ends well to end up with you by @coruscatingcatastrophe

Keith's jacket gets ruined, so Lance decides to be a good Samaritan and give him his. This is the beginning of the end.

megan's fic literally make me want to eat cement i'm so serious. i've read and been obsessed with TONS of her stuff but this one???? this fucking one???? oh god the slowburn kills me. the blossoming realisation that oh god we've been dating this whole time huh. the CHIVALRY...............a romance novel in the truest of senses and i am going to fry

4. as long as it won't separate you from me (i'll be fine) by @coruscatingcatastrophe

A little intrigued—not that she’d ever admit it—Pidge begins to climb the stairs. But before she even reaches halfway, the door—slams shut. All on its own, or so it seems. Pidge pauses, brows creasing in confusion, as she turns to look down at her dog. “Did you see that?” she asks. Peculiarly, she notes that Bae Bae’s fur is bristled, and he growls at the door before barking twice. That’s weird. Bae Bae never growls. Turning back to the door, Pidge feels unsettled, but she tells herself not to jump to ridiculous conclusions. There’s a logical explanation for everything. Maybe there was a gust of wind from the air conditioner, or the doorframe isn’t level. Whatever it is, she’s going to figure it out. - Or, a Beetlejuice au (kind of). Pidge isn't a fan of her new house, Lance and Keith are the ghosts haunting her attic, and together they hatch a plot to convince Shiro and Adam to skedaddle out of the house. There may be demon summoning involved. But seriously, Adam. Getting your hair set on fire really isn't that bad.

HAPPY (late) HALLOWEEN!!! ive been thinking about this fic all october and finally let myself reread it. ive never loved beetlejuice more than when i read this. it's so fun!! so interesting!! pidge gets a chance to shine!! klance are so!!! the way it had the story of beetlejuice but adapted well!! im!!

5. never thought i'd see the day in my life by @coruscatingcatastrophe

But Keith has somehow gone even paler in the short amount of time he’s been at the table, and he shakes his head. “No, something is . . .” His gaze flickers back to Lance, and he’s startled to find that Keith’s eyes are purple. They’ve got to be contacts. Ridiculous. As if the mullet and gloves and personality weren’t enough. Keith pushes away from the table abruptly, looking incredibly put-off now. “I, uh—gotta go,” he mutters, before angrily gathering up the backpack he’d dropped into the chair next to him and storming out of the cafeteria. “Huh,” Hunk says. “Well, that introduction could have gone a bit better. Don’t take it personally though; sometimes Keith’s just like that.” - Or, a Twilight au starring Lance as Bella, Keith as Edward, and the rest of the Voltron gang as themselves. Lance is insufferable, Keith is awkwardly trying to figure out why Lance is the way he is, and along the way they fall in love, or something. It's probably, definitely the best love story since Twilight itself.

now ive never read twilight and i refuse to on principle. but i didn't find this one creepy and instead it was super fun and dweeby and lance is indeed a ray of sunshine, thank you megan for noticing, and it turns out when the story isn't a hetero mormon wet dream it's actually a good time!!

that’s it for today!! i’ll see y’all back next friday for the next fic rec post!!!

[bandofchimeras]

the selfhate spirals with ADHD & PDA are so potent and really embarrassing. but when i tell you i straight up no call no showed the interview for my dream job that pays an exorbitant amount of money comparatively to everything I've ever done....simply because I forgot what day it was? how do you like, laugh that off? the older you get the more severe consequences become for your invisible disability.

Luckily they were willing to reschedule the interview but that is very lucky and if they hadn't been willing too I may have actually spiralled into suicidality bc of how much effort it took to even make that application and believe in myself enough to score the interview. but the real tea is - I actually just can't do life alone. I can't. Shit like this will happen. My friends and my mom called to see how the interview went, they remembered better than me. And if I had a partner or bestie, and had created an accountability structure, this wouldn't have happened. I did have alarms set up. I had it scheduled in. But the night before I got distracted & avoidant of bedtime, stayed up til 4 am (forgetting what the next day was), didn't plug in my phone, and boom. Anyways, sorry to all my mutuals who have had a window into the severe self-loathing spirals & vents. They're isolating and unhelpful. Its been real tough to talk to people directly about the shame from PDS + ADHD + OCD stuff, or get help, it takes an ocean of grace to forgive myself and I don't know how to expect or accept that much grace from other people. You constantly see people praising others who are on time, prepared, accountable, check in, show up, get things done effectively, etc it is near equivalent with "being a good person" or having character. And after enough failed attempts to live normally, after 1219323832942 abandoned projects and lost ideas and failed medication trials and lost friendships, its easy to give up on ever finding respect for yourself. Or asking others to respect you. Or continue to give you chances. Or even stay in your life.

I have been at the limit of my burnout candlewick. Finding community who accommodate and don't shame has been a breath of fresh air.

But this last fuck up has been sobering.

Like I cannot blame myself for what happened- waking up with brain fog and forgetting the day & all my carefully crafted reminders - but it could have been prevented with stricter bedtime schedule, taking sleep meds, and someone to keep me accountable to charging & checking my phone.

I have to tell myself: No, don't trust yourself. You won't remember because its important. You will forget when the stakes are high. You cannot trust your stress response, you have to get help. Its on me to find that kind of support because eventually everyone will lose tolerance for excuses. But they might be willing to accommodate limitations with agreements made in advance. ADHD is a real disability and deserves and needs accommodations and support structures. So is PDA.