#and the 'typical hours' section says 9 to 5.....

[fanfictionalraven]

Right Where You Left Me

Title: Right Where You Left Me

Summary: The reader, a waitress at the local diner, has become good friends with Dean. What happens when he disappears without a trace?

Characters: Reader, Dean Winchester, Sam Winchester, Mary Winchester, Castiel

Word Count: 7,309

Warnings: Canon typical violence and peril

Author's Note: This story takes place through the events of the second half of season 12, starting with episode 9 "First Blood". It's also the first story I've actually written and published in nearly 6 years, so grant me a little grace please. Enjoy!!

“Ma’am? Ma’am?” A voice says. You snap from your thoughts and look at the people sitting at the table in front of you. You’d gotten distracted by the bell at the door, a new customer coming in. Not the one you were looking for though. Putting on your best smile, you shake your head slightly. 

“I’m so sorry. Where were we?” You ask, glancing at the notepad in your hand.

“We were trying to ask you about the pie of the day,” the woman says. You nod and try not to sigh.

“Cherry,” you tell her. Dean’s favorite. They order two slices which you deliver to them quickly before going into the kitchen. “Stew, I’m taking a 10,” you announce to the cook. He waves a hand at you and glances at the clock.

“Make it 5,” he shouts as you slip out the back door. Leaning against the wall with a sigh, you slip the brace off of your wrist and roll the sore joint slowly, wincing. 

“This job,” you mumble before pulling your phone from your apron. Going into your recent calls, you hit the name at the top. Dean. He wasn’t going to answer. He hadn’t in weeks after all, calls or texts. It rings…and rings…and rings. Just as you’re about to give up, the final ring is cut off.

“Hello?” A woman’s voice asks, curiously. Confusion and a million unpleasant thoughts sweep over you in an instant.

“I’m sorry. I was trying to reach Dean,” you say.

“This is his phone. At least, I think it is…who is this?” She asks. You sigh and run a hand over your face.

“My name’s Y/N. I…I work at a diner and Dean’s one of my regulars. I haven’t seen him in a while and…I was worried,” you tell her. You can hear the confusion in her voice when she responds.

“A waitress who has her customer’s numbers and calls to check up on them?” She asks.

“No. Well…yes, but…Dean’s more than just a customer,” you say.

“What exactly is Dean then?” She asks, a slight edge to her voice. What is Dean? That was the very question you’d spent countless nights asking yourself.

When Dean had first wandered into the diner and sat in your section, he was just another tip. Sure, the two of you had flirted but, to be honest, you flirted with most of your customers. You had bills to pay after all. He came back the very next night, claiming the pie had just been too good. On his fifth visit to the diner, he wandered in just as you clocked out and invited you to join him. You sat in that booth across from him for hours, laughing and talking. At the end of his seventh trip, you slipped your phone number to him on the back of his bill. He’d called you before his car was even out of the parking lot.

That was nearly a year ago and the two of you talked and texted regularly ever since. Sure, he’d go silent for a little while but then he’d saunter into the diner, give you a crooked smile, and ask for the pie of the day. Throughout that year, the two of you flirted, laughed, and teased each other.  There had been a few occasions when he’d catch you as you were leaving, place a to-go order, and then you’d ride in his car out to some deserted spot to talk and eat. You’d gotten to know each other intimately. In an emotional sense that is. Dean always kept you at arm’s length. He’d never asked you on a real date. Your coworkers insisted he was probably married and just stringing you along. And now some strange woman was answering his phone and…

“Y/N?” The woman on the line says.

“Sorry. A friend. Dean’s…a really good friend,” you tell her. “Can I ask who you are?”

“I’m Mary,” she starts and you immediately let out a heavy sigh.

“His mother. Of course,” you breathe with relief.

“Yes,” she says, slightly surprised.

“He’s talked about you a lot. Where is Dean?” You ask. Now, it was Mary’s turn to sigh.

“We don’t know,” she tells you.

“What?” You ask. “It’s his job, isn’t it?” You didn’t know exactly what Dean did but he’d come into the diner beaten and bruised on a few occasions.

“Well…yes,” she says.

“Have you called the police?”

“Y/N, break’s over,” Stew calls from the back door.

“Give me a minute!!” You yell to him. He grumbles and slams the door shut. “You have called the police, right, Mary?”

“That’s not exactly an option,” she says, slowly.

“Well…what about Sam? Or…or Cas?” You ask. There’s the briefest of pauses.

“I’m…I’m here with Mary,” a second voice says.

“And Sam was with Dean,” Mary adds. Cas was there as well, listening to your conversation. You frown and pinch the bridge of your nose, trying to think.

“I want to help,” you tell them.

“I’m sorry, Y/N but…we don’t even know you,” she says.

“Well, then, come meet me. I get off at 8:00,” you say before giving her the address for the diner. “If you don’t show up, I’ll call the police and report them missing myself.”

“We’ll be there,” Mary says before disconnecting the line. You slip the phone back into your apron pocket and run your hands over your face. Sliding the brace back onto your wrist, you head back into the diner.

The rest of your shift drags on slowly. You don’t make nearly as much as you could have on tips, your normal perky personality absent. At 8:15, you finally manage to clock out, throwing your apron into the dirty linens bag. You rush out the front door and look around, phone in hand. The front doors of an unfamiliar car open at the same time. Mary, you recognize her from the old pictures Dean had shown you, gets out of the driver’s side, and the man you assume to be Cas gets out as well.

“Y/N?” Mary asks, watching you. You nod and rush over to the two of them.

“While I wish it was under different circumstances, it’s nice to finally meet you both,” you tell them, holding a hand out. Mary gives you a quick once over before placing her hand in yours.

“I wish I could say the same but…”

“Dean never mentioned me,” you say. It wasn’t a question but a statement of fact. You’d often wondered and now you knew for sure. You were a secret.

“So, what exactly do you know about their work?” Mary asks. You frown and shrug.

“Not much. I figure…best case, CIA…worst case, I dunno…the mafia,” you say, more than a little embarrassed. Mary smiles a little and looks down at the ground.

“Not exactly. It’s a bit more freelance than that,” she says.

“Like a bounty hunter?” You ask. Mary shakes her head, looking around.

“I’d rather not discuss it here. Would you be willing to go back to the bun…where the boys live and talk there?” She asks. 

“Of course,” you agree, immediately.

***

Never get in the car with strangers. The age old advice rang through your ears as you rode in the back seat to wherever Mary and Cas were taking you. Of course, these two weren’t exactly strangers. They were at least Dean’s mother and best friend. You truly felt like you actually knew them with how much he’d talked about them.

Mary continues to drive as you watch the cityscape disappear. It isn’t too long before she’s pulling onto a desolate looking road. The road leads into a dark tunnel, only lit by the headlights of Mary’s car. Your eyes have to readjust when she pulls into a much more brightly lit area. Looking around, you find a room that appears to be a garage holding several very old cars. This much at least screamed Dean, relaxing you a little.

“You said they live here?” You ask, trying to wrap your mind around that statement.

“Yes. It’s an old bunker. Used to be home to a secret society, the Men of Letters,” she tells you. You nod and try to keep your face in check. You can feel her watching you in the rearview mirror.

“Are they in this secret society then? You ask as she parks the car.

“No,” she answers. “It died out in America decades ago. There is still an active branch in London though.”

“Douchebags,” Cas mutters. You both look at him and he glances between the two of you. “That’s what Dean calls them.” You let out a small laugh as the three of you get out of the car. Mary leads the way through the bunker quietly. You follow, looking around and trying to take in as much as you can. She leads the two of you into what you assume is a library given the shelves of books all along the walls.

“You drink?” She asks, holding up a bottle of brown liquid. You nod as you take a seat at the table. Admittedly, you were more of a wine drinker but you felt the impending conversation would require something stronger. Mary pours two glasses and sets one in front of you before walking around to the other side of the table. She takes the seat opposite you and looks at the glass, swirling it slightly. “You sure about this, Y/N? Once you know the truth, leaving it behind can be pretty difficult.”

“Please,” is all you manage to say. She nods and throws her drink back quickly.

“Alright,” she starts. “I come from a long line of hunters. Not the kind you’re thinking of. My family hunted monsters. Ghosts, demons, witches, vampires.” You strive to keep your face in check as you take a slow drink. This was not what you were expecting at all.  “When I was 19, dating John, the boys’ father, a demon killed him and my parents. He offered me a deal. He would bring John back and we could live a normal life, as long as I gave him permission to enter my home in 10 years. I was suddenly alone and holding the dead body of the love of my life. I agreed. Ten years later, he entered my home and killed me. John took the boys on the road and they became hunters as well.”

Mary stops as you stand slowly and make your way over to the bottle she had used earlier. With shaking hands, you refill your glass before downing it quickly. This was insane. Mary was insane. There was no way this was real.

“Mary…I…you really expect me to believe all this?” You ask, looking back at her now. She shrugs slightly and looks at Cas. You’d forgotten he was even there. He’d been leaning against a bookshelf behind her, watching you. You look at him as he starts to make his way around the table towards you.

Panic quickly rises in your throat and you have to remind yourself that these are Dean’s people. At least…you’re fairly certain they are. You’d never seen pictures of Cas and the only ones you had seen of Mary were from when Dean was just a child. Now, this strange woman was trying to convince you that monsters were real and your friend hunted them for a living. Cas stops next to you and looks down at your hand.

“Why are you wearing that brace?” He asks. You blink, surprised. You’d half expected him to knock you unconscious.

“I, ummm…” You hold it up and shake your head. “Carpal Tunnel from work.” Cas nods and briefly touches two fingers to your forehead before you can even register the movement.

“You won’t need it anymore,” he says. You stare at him in disbelief before taking the brace off. For the first time in a long time, you don’t feel any pain as you roll your wrist in every direction. You look back up at Cas and then at Mary. She smiles and shrugs.

“Angel,” she says. You know the shock is clear all over your face as Cas helps you back to your seat. The three of you sit in silence for a little while as you process all of this information. You’re grateful for the time they give you.

“You, ummm…” You stop and look at Mary. “You said you died.” She runs a hand across her forehead and looks at you, debating on if you’re prepared for more information. You give her the best reassuring smile you can manage at the moment.

“God’s sister brought me back as a thank you gift to Dean and Sam for helping her reunite with her brother,” she says. You’re absolutely certain your jaw hits the table. 

“Well…that was…nice,” you manage. “And they were on a…a hunt when they disappeared?”

“Lucifer had possessed the president of the United States,” Cas starts. “We were going to exorcise him and return him to his cage in hell.”

“Oh my god,” you mumble, immediately beginning to massage your temples. “This is…this is a lot.”

“Now you know why Dean never told you,” Mary says. You nod, still attempting to rub away the migraine threatening to explode behind your eyes.

“I, ummm…can I take a walk?” You ask. Mary nods, smiling a little. You hoped you were handling this better than she expected. You’re still shaking as you rise from your seat again and make your way down one of the hallways. Your mind thinks back over things Dean had mentioned about his work and, frankly, it lined up. He’d never given you a lot of details but now it was starting to make sense.

You stop in the middle of the hallway and glance around. Your curiosity gets the better of you causing you to push open the door in front of you. It was a bedroom, modestly decorated. You make your way into the room and find a familiar picture sitting on the bedside table. It was the photo Dean had shown you of him and his mother. Glancing around the room, you surmise that it must be his room.

You pull open the drawer of the bedside table and gasp. Inside you find several things, another gun, a handful of credit cards, and fake ID’s. But the most surprising thing was sitting right on top. You gingerly pick up the picture and can’t help but smile. It’s of you, sitting in the front seat of Dean’s car, laughing. You remembered when he’d taken it, one of the many nights you’d spent talking. You didn’t realize he’d had it printed and kept it so close. Maybe you were more than just a secret.

“Y/N?” Mary asks from the doorway. You look up at her and she smiles. “I was getting ready to head out when you called, a vampire thing in Missouri. Cas said he’d take you back.”

“Thank you for being honest with me,” you tell her. She nods once and leaves you alone.

The next few days pass relatively uneventfully. You call Stew and make up a story about a death in the family out of state, telling him you’ll need a week or two off. He reluctantly agrees. You stay at the bunker with Cas after that. Your days are spent diving into the lore books in the old bunker, learning anything and everything you can. Cas teaches you how to do “research”, showing you how to tell the difference between normal weird and supernatural weird. He shows you one of the spare bedrooms but you end up sleeping in Dean’s room instead. 

The two of you are making your way to the library when you hear Cas’s phone ringing. He rushes ahead to answer it and you go over to a new shelf to find something else to study.

“What?” He answers the phone. “Dean?” The book you’d picked out slips from your hand and you rush to his side. “What, what happened? Wh-where are you?” You stare at him, tears stinging your eyes. He grabs a pen and pad off the table and quickly jots down a note. Rocky Mountain National Park. State Route 34. “Yes. – Wait, where? – Wait, what does that…” Cas sighs and sets the phone down, frowning.

“What did he say?? Are they okay??” You ask. He glances at you and shrugs.

“He sounded rushed. Like they were being chased,” he says. You nod and pick up the notepad, trying to hide the rush of emotions you were feeling.

“We’ve got to call Mary. Meet up with her and get to Colorado,” you tell him. He looks at you quickly and frowns.

“No, Y/N. It’s too dangerous for you to come along,” he says, taking the notepad. You shake your head, tears falling freely as you look up at the angel.

“Cas, please,” you beg. His resolve breaks instantly and he sighs, picking his phone back up.

“Dean would not approve,” he mumbles before calling Mary.

The two of you pull into a parking lot several hours later. Mary’s car is already sitting, waiting. She gets out and clenches her jaw when she sees you rise from the passenger side of Cas’s car.

“You got here quickly,” Cas remarks. Mary nods, eyes fixed on you.

“Yep. What the hell is she doing here??” She asks. Cas sighs and looks over at you.

“Mary, please. I won’t get in the way, I swear,” you tell her. Frowning, she shakes her head, her hands coming to rest on your shoulders.

“Y/N, it’s not about you being in the way. We have no idea what we’re walking into. I’m more worried about you getting hurt and what that would do to Dean,” she says. Swallowing hard, you set your jaw. Mary wasn’t going to see you cry too.

“Please. I have to be there. I need to see him with my own eyes,” you plead. She watches you for a moment, debating internally.

“Dean’s gonna kill us,” she says before turning to Cas. “We may want backup.”

“Crowley and Rowena?” He asks. She scoffs and you glance between them.

“The King of Hell and his mother, the witch?” She asks. You frown and shake your head.

“I don’t like the sound of that,” you comment. Mary smiles a little and looks at Cas.

“I hope we can do better than them.”

“I may have an idea,” he says. Mary nods and makes for the driver’s side of her own car.

“Good. Seat belts on. I drive fast,” she tells the two of you as you load into the car as well.

The British Men of Letters. That was Cas’s idea. Mary almost immediately pulls out, supposing “the demon and his mommy” don’t sound so bad anymore. You hang back, watching the situation unfold. The two Brits, Mick and Ketch from what you gather, offer their services seemingly free of charge. They make a few phone calls, getting access to a satellite of the area Dean had mentioned. Mary and Cas are able to deduce the direction they’re headed and a good spot to meet them.

The two cars move to the new location and you all unload once again. You look up at the night sky and think about the last night you’d spend with Dean. He’d picked you up from the diner at closing time and drove you out of town to a remote location. You’d both laid on the hood of the car, splitting the last of the pie of the day.

“Y/N,” Mary says, pulling you from your thoughts. You turn to face her and immediately launch into pleading again.

“Mary, please. I don’t want to wait here while you two go on…”

“Stop,” she says, holding her hand up. “That’s not what I was going to say. Dean’s already gonna be pissed we brought you. He’d kill us both if we left you with those two. Just stay close to us and if something goes wrong, run back here.” You manage a relieved smile and follow her and Cas further up into the woods.

The three of you come into a small clearing and it isn’t long before there’s a rustling in the brush. Cas and Mary both move into a defensive stance in front of you. You wring your hands as you wait. Cas takes a few steps closer to the noise just as Dean and Sam fall through the bushes. Your heart jumps into your throat at the sight of Dean and you almost break down crying right then.

“Sam, Dean,” Cas says, relieved. You can see the tension immediately leave Mary’s shoulders as she takes in the sight of her boys. Sam rises first and pulls Cas into a tight hug. His eyes land on Mary and he smiles.

“Mom,” he says, letting Cas go. He starts to make his way across the clearing towards her when you register the confusion on his face. Dean finally stands and hugs Cas as well. Sam pulls Mary into a tight embrace that she immediately returns. “Who’s this?” He asks.

“Y/N??” Dean’s voice rings across the clearing. You smile, swallowing back tears, and wave slightly. “The hell is she doing here??” His voice is thick with anger as he makes his way over to Mary. The venom in his words takes you by surprise. Mary raises her hands slightly.

“She was worried about you. Called your phone. I answered and she wanted to help,” she explains. You and Dean stand there, staring at each other. Dean’s eyes are full of a rage you can’t even begin to comprehend.

“How much do you know?” He asks.

“A lot more than I did a week ago,” you tell him. He shakes his head and looks to the sky before looking at his mother.

“Hey, Mom,” he mumbles, pulling her into a hug. She lets out a gasp of surprise and returns the embrace. Dean’s eyes never leave your face. “Let’s get out of here,” he says before walking straight past you.

You take a shaky breath and run your hands over your face. You had anticipated he’d be angry, of course. But you had hoped the joy of being together again would cancel that anger out at some point. Mary pats your shoulder before she starts to follow Dean. You debate on staying right there in the woods for a moment before falling in step behind them. Sam clears his throat slightly as you all walk.

“Mom, how did yall even find us?” He asks, attempting to break the tension.

“They helped,” she says, pointing to Mick and Ketch as they come into view.

“Dammit!! They know about her now too??” He groans, running a hand through his hair. “Y/N, get in the car.” You stare at him in disbelief for a moment. “Car. Now,” he demands. You wipe at your eyes furiously as you storm back to Mary’s car. Sliding into the middle of the back seat, you realize for the first time that the Dean you knew and this Dean, the real Dean, may not be the same person.

The five of them talk for only a moment before coming to the car. Cas takes the passenger seat quickly and Dean doesn’t hide the dirty look he gives him. You shake your head, unable to believe that having to sit by you in the car was that unsettling. Had you misinterpreted your entire relationship? Sam gets in on your other side and smiles at you, awkwardly.

“Y/N, wasn’t it?” He asks. You look at him and smile bitterly.

“Yes. It’s nice to finally meet you Sam. I’ve heard so much about you. And don’t worry. I know the feeling can’t be mutual. You’ve never heard of me before, have you?” You ask, letting your anger burst out for a moment. Dean’s hand tightens into a fist on his leg as he stares out the window. Sam’s awkward smile becomes apologetic before Mary changes the subject, filling them in on everything they’d missed.

Mary continues to drive on into the night. You catch Sam and Dean both nervously glancing at the clock at the front of the car. They seem to only be getting more anxious as the minutes tick by.

“So wait, you're hunting?” Dean asks his mother. She glances back at him in the mirror and shrugs.

“A little bit,” she says. Sam smiles and shakes his head.

“Yea, I knew you couldn’t stay away,” he teases.

The exact second the clock switches over to 12:00, midnight, the car dies. Mary eases it onto a bridge as she tries the key again.

“It’s time,” Sam says, getting out of the car. You look at him then over at Dean.

“Stay in the car,” Dean tells you. Rolling your eyes, you slide out right behind him, tired of being ordered around tonight. The others all get out as well and look around, taking in their surroundings.

“What’s happening?” Mary asks.

“Yea, Dean. Sup?” A new voice says. You all look over to find a woman standing in the middle of the bridge. You look around, trying to figure out where she could have possibly come from. Dean takes an immediate step in front of you, shielding your entire body. Instinctively, you step closer to him, your hand coming to rest on his back, assuring him you were there and okay.

“Billie?” Mary asks, recognition and confusion mixed on her face.

“The reaper?” Cas asks. You close your eyes, trying to think back over your studies. It wasn’t one of things you’d become familiar with but gauging everyone’s reactions, this wasn’t a good thing.

“I don’t understand,” Mary says, shaking her head. Dean sighs and hangs his head.

“Mom, that place…there was only one way we were getting out of there, and that wasn’t breathing,” he starts to explain. You glance around at everyone and notice the horrified look on Cas’s face. “So I made a call.”

“Dean talked to her and then Billie came to talk to me,” Sam continues the story. “And we made a deal. We’d get to die and come back one more time, but in exchange…”

“Come midnight, a Winchester goes bye-bye. Like, permanently,” Billie says, smiling. “And that is something  I’ve been looking forward to for a long time.”

“No,” you whisper from behind Dean.

“Why would you –,” Mary starts.

“We were already dead,” Dean tells her. “Being locked in that cell with nothing…I’ve been to Hell. This was worse.”

“At least this way, one of us gets to keep fighting,” Sam finishes. You shake your head, taking a step away from Dean.

“No,” you say again. He looks over his shoulder at you and his anger has completely dissolved. “Dean, no.”

“Hi, Y/N,” Billie says, waving. You look at her in utter shock but Dean steps between the two of you again.

“Leave her out of this,” he growls.

“You don’t have to do this,” Cas says, shaking his head.

“Yea, they do,” Billie says. “We made a pact bound in blood, You break that, there’s consequences on a cosmic scale. So, who’s it gonna be?” She asks, looking between the brothers. Sam looks at Dean, then at you, and back to Dean who shakes his head.

“Me,” Mary says before either of them can answer. She turns to face Billie, pulling her handgun from her waistband. Sam and Dean both immediately object, stepping forward to stop her. Billie flings both of them away with a wave of her hand. You rush to Dean’s side and fall next to him, immediately checking him for injuries. He shakes his head and fights to rise to his feet again.

“You said come midnight, a Winchester dies?” Mary asks. “I’m a Winchester.”

“Works for me,” Billie says with a smile. Mary cocks the gun and raises it toward her head. Sam and Dean both object loudly again, fighting to get to her.

“I love you,” Mary sniffs. Just as she’s about to pull the trigger, a sharp pointed blade pierces through Billie’s chest from behind and she immediately falls dead. You stare in shock at the dead body lying before you. Cas stands over her, the blade in his hand dripping blood. Mary lowers her gun as Dean and Sam are finally able to get to their feet. Dean takes your hand, pulling you up as well. You begin to pale as you stare at the body.

“Cas, what have you done?” Dean asks, looking at his best friend in shock.

“What had to be done,” he says. “You know this world – this sad, doomed little world – it needs you…” Your ears begin to ring and you take a shaky step closer to Dean. His arm comes around your waist, eyes never leaving Cas as he continues to talk. Something about keeping all the Winchesters alive.

“Dean,” Mary says, pointing to you. “First dead body.” Dean looks down at you just as you go completely limp in his arms.

**

Dean runs his hands over his face before taking a long swig off his beer. A lot had happened in the last day; dying, coming back again, running, fighting for their lives, getting back to their family, you, Billie, you, Cas killing a reaper…you. That was really the only thing on his mind…you. He had so carefully built a relationship with you. A relationship based on half truths and secrets but a relationship nevertheless. Now, you knew the whole nasty truth. It was going to be Lisa all over again…

“Dean?” Mary asks, sticking her head into the kitchen. He glances over his shoulder and smiles a little. “Can I join you?” Nodding, he points to the empty seat across from him. She walks over, taking the seat quietly. He stares at the bottle in his hands. “Dean…”

“You shouldn’t have told her,” he tells her firmly. “It wasn’t your place. I didn’t want her to know. She was safer not knowing. Now…I’ll never see her again.”

“What? Why?” Mary asks, confused. Dean stands and throws his empty bottle into the trash.

“To keep her safe!!” He snaps, spinning on her angrily. “People around me don’t hang around too long. They either run or they die. It’s as simple as that. Especially the ones who mean the most to me. And she means…” He stops abruptly, emotion closing up his throat. Mary frowns as she stands and walks over to him.

“It only seems that way, Dean. Y/N, she’s…she’s strong. She took everything I told her in stride and she stayed. She stayed here with Cas and she’s been learning how to do the job,” she tells him.

“That’s even worse!! I don’t want her anywhere near this,” he says, fighting back tears. “If it was just normal hunter stuff then maybe but the stuff we deal with…Lucifer and Amara and God…I want her as far away from all of this as possible.”

“Don’t you think she should get a say in this?” Mary asks. He shakes his head, stubbornly.

“No. Soon as she wakes up, I’m taking her back home. I’ll never go back to that diner.. She’ll never see or hear from me again,” he says.

“What?” You whisper to yourself, standing just outside the kitchen door. You turn on your heels and rush down the hall towards the garage. Your car was there and you’d spent enough time at the bunker to know how to get out. You hadn’t heard much but you heard enough. Dean didn’t want to see you anymore, plain and simple.

***

Three months, five days.

That’s how long it had been since you last saw Dean. You’d left the bunker, rejected and heartbroken, and Dean had kept his word. He hadn’t called. He hadn’t come in for any pie. Life was back to normal. Boring, regular, normal. You found yourself reading into everything you saw on the news, wondering if it was a case Dean could be working at that very moment. 

You’d volunteered to close down the diner for yet another night. Floors were mopped. Counters and tables wiped down. All you had left to do was lock up. Flipping off the lights, you step outside into the cool night air. You turn to lock the door when you hear footsteps coming up behind you. Damn it. You’d been so lost in thoughts about what you had believed was a werewolf in Michigan you hadn’t checked the parking lot first.

“Hello, love,” a heavy British accent says. There’s nothing familiar and certainly nothing friendly about the greeting. You stand frozen for a moment, weighing your options. You didn’t have many.

“We’re closed,” you say, not turning to face him yet.

“Not here for the pie,” he jokes. He’s closer than he had been.

“Look. My manager has already taken the deposit to the bank. I’ve got a few bucks in my purse and that’s it. I haven’t seen your face yet. You can turn around and leave, no consequences,” you tell him.

“Afraid not. Got a job to do. A message for your little hunter boyfriend,” he says. You let out a short laugh.

“You’re definitely barking up the wrong tree,” you say. His reflection is in the glass of the door now, standing right behind you. You take a deep breath and turn to face him finally. “Dean Winchester doesn’t care about me. Hurting me, won’t hurt him in any way.”

“We’ll see about that,” he says, brandishing a knife. You bring your knee up, hitting him in the groin. He grunts and doubles over, giving you enough time to run towards your car. Unfortunately, the blow doesn’t slow him down enough. Before you can make it to the car, he’s grabbed you by your waist, knife at your throat. “Any last words I can pass on to the Winchesters?” He breathes in your ear.

“Go to hell,” you spit at him. You feel the knife press harder against your skin as angry tears slide down your cheeks. What a way to go. Dying for a man who couldn’t care less.

Before the Brit can finish you off, a car whips into the dark parking lot, lights shining bright on the two of you. It takes your attacker by surprise and you feel his grip relax just enough. A sharp elbow to his abdomen has him letting you go. You fall to your knees as you attempt to run away. The car skids to a stop and you hear the voice you’d only dreamt of hearing again.

“Y/N!!” Dean yells as he runs at your attacker. He tackles him, knocking the knife from his hand as the two men hit the ground. Mary runs to your side as Sam runs to help Dean. You weren’t sure why. Dean had the upper hand, sitting atop the man, punching him in the face. Repeatedly. That’s when you realize, Sam wasn’t helping Dean. He was pulling him off.

“Dean, it’s over,” he tells his brother. “He’s dead.” Mary helps you to your feet, examining you as Dean makes his way over, wiping his bloodied hand off on his shirt.

“Are you okay? Did he hurt you?” Dean asks, taking your face in his hands. He looks you over and frowns at the knick on your neck. Running his thumb over it gently, he wipes the blood away. 

“I’m fine,” you mutter, taken aback by his gentleness and concern. Before you can say anything else, he pulls you into a crushing hug. You gasp and freeze before slowly returning the embrace. Mary touches Sam’s shoulder and nods back towards the dead body. They slip away to deal with that and give you two some privacy. “Dean…”

“I’m so sorry, Y/N. I put you in so much danger,” he says, letting you go. “I didn’t know we were being watched. I didn’t know.”

“Dean, what’s going on?” You ask.

“The British Men of Letters. Turns out it was a join or die type of situation. They’ve been watching all of us for a while now. They knew about you before you ever knew anything,” he explains. “They had brainwashed Mom but we just got her back. Sam and Jody led a raid of the Brits’ headquarters. Saw the pictures of you, of us here. We got here as quick as we could.” He winces now and you finally register how badly beaten he looks.

“What happened to you?” You ask, knowing your attacker hadn’t even gotten one good swing in. He limps over to his car and leans back against the hood.

“Grenade launcher,” he says, pointing to his leg. “Bad fight with Ketch.” He points to the rest of himself.

“Gre...huh??”

“They locked us in the bunker. Shut off the air supply. It was our only way out. And it was freaking awesome,” he says, smirking now. You roll your eyes at him and try not to smile, fighting back that familiar feeling he always gave you.

“Well, thank you. I’ll be more careful. Try not to close up by myself anymore,” you tell him, crossing your arms. He nods slightly, watching you.

“Or you could come with me,” he says. You scoff a laugh and shake your head.

“You don’t have to babysit me, Dean. I’ll be fine,” you say.

“What?” He asks. You shrug, trying to give him a confident smile.

“I’m officially relieving you of the burden of my safety. Whatever happens to me, happens. Don’t let it get to your conscious,” you tell him, looking around for your purse.

“Y/N,” Dean says. He watches you walk over and pick up the discarded item. You throw it over your shoulder and look back at him. “Come here,” he says gently, holding a hand out.

“You don’t want me. I know that. Please stop this,” you say, looking down at the gravel under your feet. You hear him sigh and look up as he starts to limp towards you. “No. Stop. You’re hurt.” He rolls his eyes now before taking your face in his hands for the second time tonight. This time his eyes aren’t searching for injuries. They’re searching for answers.

“Why would you think I don’t want you?” He asks, his voice softer than you’d ever heard it before. You get lost in the green of his eyes for a moment before the memory of that night comes back.

“I heard you with Mary. You said I wouldn’t see or hear from you again. And I haven’t since I left the bunker that day,” you tell him, hating to relive those harsh words. He nods, his hands leaving your face. They don’t go far though, immediately coming to rest on your hips.

“Is that all you heard?” He asks. You nod, wishing he’d just let you go home instead of dragging this out. “I didn’t leave you alone because I didn’t want you. I left you alone because I needed to keep you safe, because I want you too much, because I care about you too much.” Your eyes fill with tears as you stare up at him. You had to have died and gone to heaven for him to be saying these things, the things you wanted him to say so desperately.

“You were so mad when you saw me…”

“Because I didn’t want you anywhere near this life. Hunting, especially the things we end up hunting, it’s dangerous,” he pauses and closes his eyes. “I had just made a deal with a reaper to die. Again. I’d already resolved myself to the fact I wasn’t going to get to say a proper goodbye to you, tell you how I felt, how happy you’ve made me over the past year…and then you were there, right smack in the middle of everything. I was furious, yea, but not at you. I was mad at myself. I never shoulda came back here to begin with.”

“I don’t understand,” you say, shaking your head. Nothing was making sense. Nothing but the feel of his hands on your waist. That was good. That was right.

“I fell for you so hard that first night I came in for dinner. I was just supposed to come in, pick up something for me and Sam, and head back to the bunker. But when I walked in and saw you…I had to know you,” he recalls. “I thought a couple of visits couldn’t hurt. I could just be a customer, see you, talk to you. Maybe you’d eventually learn my name. That third time I came in and saw you getting ready to leave I was devastated. So I asked you to join me, thinking there wasn’t a chance in hell. You’d just gotten off work. Surely you wanted to get out of there and get home. But you stayed and you sat with me and…I knew I was in trouble.” You’re crying now. You don’t know exactly when the tears started but they were falling quickly. Dean brings one hand up and wipes at each of your cheeks gently. “And then you gave me your number…man, I almost called you from the booth,” he laughs. You do as well, reaching up and taking his hand. You press a kiss into his palm.

“I never knew what we were. I was so confused,” you tell him.

“I’m sorry. I kept going back and forth. I told myself it was too dangerous, you were safer as my friend. But then I’d get you alone, in my car and…” His hand tightens slightly on your hip and he pulls you impossibly closer. “I wanted you so desperately.” His voice dropped lower and his eyes bore into your own.

“I wanted you too,” you just manage to whisper. His forehead is touching yours now. Your eyes flutter close as his breath washes over your face.

“No more secrets,” he says before finally bringing his lips in to meet yours. This isn’t a gentle, chaste first kiss. Your lips move desperately against his as your arms wrap around his neck. It was everything you’d imagined and nothing like you could have dreamed all at the same time. His lips were chapped but gentle. He tasted of mint and whiskey. The way his hands moved over your back, one sliding just beneath your shirt to caress the skin at the small of your back, was intoxicating. You force yourself to pull away, remembering that his family was in the near vicinity.

“I have one secret,” you admit. He looks down at you expectantly. “I freaking hate this job.” He laughs and shakes his head, kissing you once more quickly.

“Sweetheart, I got bad news. That ain’t a secret,” he teases. You laugh too as Dean looks over your shoulder at the diner. “This place is gonna go under without your pie. It’s the only reason anyone comes back.”

“Including you?” You ask. His smile turns into a smirk as he looks back down at you.

“Why do you think I’m keeping you at the bunker?” He asks. Laughing again, you try to step out of his arms but they only tighten around you. His face is suddenly serious again as he watches you. “But only if you’re absolutely sure. I can’t stress enough how dangerous this life is.” You smile as you take his face in your hands.

“Dean,” you start. “I’ve never been more sure of anything in my life.”

With that, Dean kisses you once again.

You leave your diner key in the door and a note taped to the glass.

I quit. -Y/N

****

Tags: @roseblue373

[heloflor]

Was thinking a bit about how “The Devil’s Playhouse” has a lot more comedy than people make it out to be, and while especially thinking about “The Penal Zone” I realized this episode is actually very very very very gay. Like, I’m pretty sure it’s the Telltale episode with the highest amount of gay moments (205 is second on this list, what with Sam getting catcalled by a moleman, Max flirting with Mr. Reaperphone, the whole bachelor party, Peppers etc).

I think what I really like about those moments is that it’s a great example of normalization. The characters are incredibly casual about it, talking about gay relationships the exact same way one would talk about straight relationships, it’s really neat to see! Especially considering that this game was made in 2010, a whooping 5 years before gay marriage was legal in the whole US. It's crazy and great how much they were able to get away with!

(Screenshots of all these moments with timestamps (and quotes) under the cut. To have as little pics as possible, only a small section of each dialogue is taken. And to have a limit of two screenshots per pic max, some dialogues that are cut in two parts in-game have the second part pasted under the first. The timestamps puts you at the beginning of each conversation. All footage from NapalmX717 with the screenshots in chronological order of this video)

Max: “What can I say, Sam? Alien ships love to abduct me. It’s not my fault I look so probe-able.” (9:44)

Sam: “Nice work, little buddy! Make sure you wait three days to call, or he’ll thing you’re desperate.” (11:47)

Max: “Well, he IS pretty charismatic, Sam. And he’s from space, which is a plus. But you’re the only hairy, overweight, domineering control freak I need, Sam.” (20:38)

Sam: “I don’t need to go to another planet for a methane rich environment, as long as I’ve got you, pal.”

Max: “That’s really sweet and obvious, Sam.” (22:46)

Skun-ka’pe: “Perfect! Just the one I wanted to see ha ha ha ha!”

Sam: “Keep the hands where we can see ‘em, pal.” (23:36)

Max: “We could just give ourselves tongue-baths, like cats and flight attendants do!” (30:57)

Sam: “Why do we have jumper cables? Neither of us knows how to use them.”

Max: “It’s simple, Sam: the RED cable goes on the RIGHT nipple, the BLACK cable clamps to the…” (34:42)

Max: “Oh boy! Now I can finally set up my 24-hours adults-only naked bunny chat line.” (34:58)

Sam: “Toys...Toys… we must prepare… the toys….”

Max: “Well, that’s just a typical Friday night for YOU, Sam.” (36:45)

Flint Paper: “Oh. Well yeah, that could be it. I was thinking it was you, Sam!”

Max: “You think you know a guy. I’m not angry, Sam, just very disappointed.” (1:03:49)

(For context they’re talking about who might be Girl Stinky’s secret admirer)

Max: “I can’t lie to Flint Paper, Sam!” (1:05:20)

Max: “What kind of pretend mother would I be if I didn’t worry about our imaginary baby?” (1:10:31)

Momma Bosco: “Oh, it’s not all bad. I’m getting better at apparating. And now I don’t leave a trail of ectoplasmic slime behind every time I leave the room.”

Max: “That’s better than Sam can say.” (1:23:13)

Sam: “I’m not gonna rest until I find the guy who killed my partner!” (1:43:13)

Max: “Wow. I feel really very close to you now, Agent Superball.” (1:45:33)

Sam: “I don’t like the thought of you teleporting off without me, Max.” (1:46:33)

Max: “Sam, this is all so sudden! I… I don’t know what to say!” (2:07:10)

Sam: “I think one of us should try to smash through that window with his rock-hard, melon-sized head.”

Max: “And I think one of us should try the door, unless he wants to spend the rest of the day picking plate glass out of his partner’s fluffy white nether regions.” (2:17:00)

Girl Stinky: “Sam and Max? Don’t tell me Skun-ka’pe wants YOU guys to be his love slaves, too?” (2:24:48)

Girl Stinky: “Eww. He wishes. He’s SO not my type. You only have to date an evil gorilla once to learn never to make THAT mistake again.”

Max: “We’ve all been there, girlfriend.” (2:25:07)

Girl Stinky: “Gee, it sounds like YOU two should go out with him. Would you like me to give you guys some privacy?” (2:27:33)

Max: “You’re my best friend, Sam! I know you’d take a bullet for me!” (2:31:02)

Sam: “You keep coming up with creepy disaster scenarios that always end with you eating me, Max. It’s getting annoying.”

Max: “If you don’t like it, then stop looking so damn tasty.” (2:38:11)

Max: “Think of something quick, Sam. I don’t like the way he’s undressing me with his eyes.” (2:53:22)

[skzhua]

another typical story | part 9 - maybe?

MASTERLIST

pairing: idol!hwang hyunjin x influencer!reader, idol!lee felix x best friend!reader.

genre: social media!AU, strangers-ish-to-lovers, fluff, slow burn, female reader.

warnings: some swearing, mention of drinking.

summary: unexpectedly, felix brings his childhood best friend into his members' life. hyunjin is quick to take a liking for this new person.

Maybe you shouldn't have posted that picture on Twitter... Could you blame yourself though? Hyunjin was looking insanely good on it, with the sweat and the tongue... That exploded the comment section with fans reacting to it. Some were being fangirls, saying how handsome Hyunjin was, and others were more curious on why you did, yet, another video with the idol. To be honest, you just found it as an excuse to hang out with him. Sure, he said he wanted to be friends. But it felt weird for you to simply reach out to ask him to spend time together without any cameras involved.

You have been editing for pretty much the entire day now, and you felt like not much has been done. You took many breaks to eat, paused to replay some parts to admire Hyunjin's dancing you capture on video, and your mind wasn't focused. Seeing the clock striking thirty minutes past midnight, you decided it was time to call it a day and go to bed.

After washing up, you buried yourself in your covers and scrolled through TikTok, as you would do every night. While coming upon a cute video on penguins, a notification popped up, which interrupted your focus on the cute birds. You swiped it up, but another one popped up to replace it. It was Felix's bubble, again. You couldn't believe how consistent he was on this app, logging in almost every night to interact with the fans. And boy, did he send messages... The notifications only kept coming, and that, for two entire hours... You didn't mind much, it was Felix after all and his messages were always so heartwarming. However, you did need sleep and it was getting annoying at some point. To your luck, you read another notification saying 'good night'. Finally, you put your phone away and turned off your light to go to sleep.

Felix had other plans. Almost immediately after closing your eyes, you heard the familiar text message sound.

You felt bad to make him wait for a good 5 days, but you had a busy week. Between editing, preparing future collaborations, brainstorming new video ideas, and taking time just for yourself, you barely did have another time where you could focus solely on him.

Thanks to him, now you only had your relationship on your mind making it impossible for you to sleep. You two didn't date for long. You were fifteen and seventeen and developed some sort of feelings for each other. You knew he was going to Korea, but you stuck with him and went through his elimination and his debut with him. The hardest part was being a long-distance couple who had to keep it secret because of his dating ban. After a while, he simply broke things off out of nowhere, and it hurt like shit back then. You weren't in love with him, but being so young and naive, you saw it as ending your entire relationship which included your lifelong friendship.

When you moved to Korea, you met accidentally and realized that your romantic relationship ending didn't mean you HAD to stop talking to him. From then on, you became friends once again and it couldn't be any better. But now, he was rethinking things. What if he actually has feelings for you? How would you react?

If it wasn't for your phone going crazy, you probably would have never woken up. Lazily, you took your phone and saw Hyunjin's contact on the screen. You cough to not sound so bad and answered his call.

"Hey..."

"Hi, um, are you home?"

"Yeah, why?"

"I'm at your door and have been knocking a few times actually but no answer. Is it a wrong time?"

Fuck. What was he doing here? You checked the time and it was already 10am.

"Uh, no it's fine. Let me just change real quick."

You hurried to put on a decent outfit, some makeup, and arrange your hair in a way it didn't look like you had just woken up. You opened the door and saw Hyunjin holding two plastic bags. You nodded your head towards them and he blushed a little.

"I brought a little meal and iced coffee." he explained.

While letting him inside, you take the bags from him excitedly. "Oh! What did you get?"

"Chicken salad, I'm on a diet." he whined as he sat down at your dining table.

"It's okay, chicken salad is good." you smiled while taking out the plastic bowls and the drinks to put them in front of you. "What brings you here?"

"I just wanted to see how the video was coming together."

"Don't you have work?" you chuckled.

"Only this afternoon. I'll probably do another live tonight too." he said, munching on the green leaves, leaving a small piece on the corner of his lips.

Were you that cringe to pick it yourself or were you going to tell him? "You've got something..." you trailed off.

Decidedly, your mind mixed both of your thoughts, making you reach out to his mouth with your hand. In panic, Hyunjin could only freeze in place while your removed the piece of food with your thumb. Internally, you wanted to bury yourself alive in embarrassment. However, seeing that the man didn't stop you, you felt somehow a bit better.

"Sorry." you said as soon as you had retracted your hand from his face.

"It's fine, thanks." he mumbled, now taking some chicken to eat.

The room got silent and it was rather uncomfortable. You finished eating slowly and tried to distract yourself by looking anywhere but at him. Doing the same, Hyunjin readjusted himself on his seat. While doing so, your phone had lit up from a random notification which grab both of your attention, especially Hyunjin. Your background was a picture of you with another girl.

"Who's that?" he asked, pointing at your phone.

"My other best friend." you smiled. "Met her at school and we shared a dorm together. I haven't seen her in a while, actually."

"You must miss her."

You nodded. "I do. We still text each other a lot, so it's okay."

It was his turn to nod, as he finised the rest of his salad.

The next hour was comfortable. You showed him what you had edited for the video so far and how your editing software functioned. His amazement at how quick and easily you worked made you swoon at the man. He was handsome to start with, and even more when he found something interesting. You would stare at him longer than you would like to admit throughout the hour, but it's not like you didn't notice him staring as well.

When it was 12:15pm, he told you he had to leave to go for schedule. Sadly, you walked to your door with him.

"Got everything?"

He nodded, checking his pockets. "I think so. If I left something, I'll just have another excuse to come here." he smiled.

"Yeah yeah." you rolled your eyes to hide the feeling in your stomach.

He hugged you and you melted at his warmth. Could he be any more perfect? "See you soon?"

"Yeah, I'll text you when my schedule clears a bit."

"So will I." he pulled away and you already missed his embrace. "Bye, sweetheart." he winked.

Hearing this nickame, you didn't even answer and closed the door immediately before making a fool out of yourself with a stupid answer. This man was driving you crazy, truly. Then, you remembered how he mentioned nothing will happen between the two of you and that little heartache came back. Wanting to forget about it, you headed to your desk to continue editing, another video this time. As you were about to get started, your phone lit up from a new message you received.

taglist : @lenilla15 | @muddy-waters | @nanaspalette | @nattisbored | @ellenikav

[hairpintvrns]

STARTER FOR: @fromharbor LOCATION: blue harbor library !

Valentine wasn’t a reader by any means, but the silence in their apartment when their roommate was away working their typical 9 to 5 had left them slightly unmoored. Without their company, there was only absence: no foreground, no important contrapuntal material, no chordal accompaniment by which to view the world.

Instead, they’d taken to visiting the library during these working hours. The quietude of it was comforting—and it helped, of course, that Jasper was a constant presence through it all. A way of basking in their familiar company without too direct a contact.

They’d sat on a table adjacent to the shelves comprising the music section, parsing through the two volumes of a formal analysis of Bach’s cello suites that lay in front of them. They tapped their fingers along the wood as they made sense of the author’s analysis regarding the rhythmic aspects of its First Suite Allemande through its event icons. A deceptive cadence here, an elided cadence there. The author had begun talking about the suite’s lack of internal division and its lack of variety against the rest of the concert allemandes, which they found themselves agreeing, only the sentiment was cut short, as they flipped through the page page and found the volume already referring to the courantes—

“Wait. That can’t be right.” Their voice was measured, but amplified, amid the silence of the library. “Sorry,” they said to no one in particular—only to find their brother already as their unwitting audience. A small smile stretched over their features, then, as they held the book up for their brother to see. “Jas, I’m afraid to say there’s a misprint in this one. This volume’s missing at least twenty pages.”

[caltropspress]

RAPS + CRAFTS #24: NAHreally

1. Introduce yourself. Past projects? Current projects?

I’m NAHreally, an MC and beatmaker from Massachusetts currently living in Jersey City, NJ. I’ve been releasing music as NAHreally since 2016. My most recent album is called BLIP. It’s a collaborative album produced entirely by the Irish producer The Expert. Before that, I put out two self-produced projects called HACKINAWAY and Loose Around The Edges. Before those, I put out 5 tapes entitled TAPE through TAPE 5.

2. Where do you write? Do you have a routine time you write? Do you discipline yourself, or just let the words come when they will? Do you typically write on a daily basis?

I turn rhymes and lines over in my head everywhere I go all day long, but the central hub of my writing is my desk at home. Nothing is final until it reaches the desk. I don’t have a routine or consider myself all that disciplined—I just write when I find the time to. I work toward writing every day, but probably only sit down specifically to write two or three times a week (more when I’m lucky).

3. What’s your medium—pen and paper, laptop, on your phone? Or do you compose a verse in your head and keep it there until it’s time to record?

Lately I’ve been using the notes section of my DAW (Logic) in the project I’m going to record into. Sometimes I’ll write a whole song in there. Other times I’ll start in a notebook, continue on the phone, then compile everything in that DAW notes section. I typically have my verses memorized by the time I record, but when I don’t, it’s easy to pull up and read as I go. Plus, it helps keep me organized.

4. Do you write in bars, or is it more disorganized than that?

I write in bars and quatrains.

5. How long into writing a verse or a song do you know it’s not working out the way you had in mind? Do you trash the material forever, or do you keep the discarded material to be reworked later?

As early as right away and as late as album sequencing. I’ll sometimes salvage a handful of lines from an abandoned song, but generally the stench of abandonment keeps me away.

6. Have you engaged with any other type of writing, whether presently or in the past? Fiction? Poetry? Playwriting? If so, how has that mode influenced your songwriting?

My day job involves a lot of writing and editing—nonfiction educational video scripts and even rap lyrics. This type of writing has greatly influenced the clarity of my rhymes. I want my lyrics to be immediately digestible, and my day job has helped me with that a lot.

7. How much editing do you do after initially writing a verse/song? Do you labor over verses, working on them over a long period of time, or do you start and finish a piece in a quick burst?

I edit as I go. It’s rare for me to move on to a new line until the one I’m working on feels final in both content and delivery. This can leave me stuck on a single line for hours and sometimes months. When I do know what’s coming after a line, I’ll make a note but almost never start writing anything in earnest. In some cases, when I finally write the line, it can strike me as a better fit for one or two lines later. When that happens, I move it down and get back to work on the set up.

Because of this approach, the only editing that really happens after a verse is written is to achieve a different shade of meaning through certain words or because I realize the flow could be cleaner or more interesting.

In some cases, particularly with more conceptual songs, I’ll write out what I’m trying to say in prose then make it rhyme.

8. Do you write to a beat, or do you adjust and tweak lyrics to fit a beat?

A big part of my writing process is rapping aloud, so I almost always write to a beat (though it may not be the beat I end up recording over).

9. What dictates the direction of your lyrics? Are you led by an idea or topic you have in mind beforehand? Is it stream-of-consciousness? Is what you come up with determined by the constraint of the rhymes?

The first line tends to dictate the direction of my lyrics. In my mind, once you have a great first line, the song is basically written—it’s just a matter of trial and error until you find the rest. That first line often determines whether a song will have a topic or be a little more random. Occasionally I’ll pick a topic ahead of time, but usually it’ll stem from a more naturally occurring bit of writing.

My opinion on rhyming changes depending on what I’m trying to do. If I’m writing in a stream-of-consciousness mode, those rhymes better be unique and interesting. But when I’m looking to communicate information, I’ll take whatever rhyme I can in the name of clarity.

10. Do you like to experiment with different forms and rhyme schemes, or do you keep your bars free and flexible?

Free and flexible mostly, but I’ve been in a tinkering mood lately. We’ll see if anything sticks.

11. What’s a verse you’re particularly proud of, one where you met the vision for what you desire to do with your lyrics?

“That Many of ’Em” on BLIP. The experience of being inundated with information and opinions is practically universal and yet it’s hard to discuss without sounding like a whiny baby. I think I did OK here:

Where do people find these opinions On every last thing that’s outside of their dominion? I mean, the way they pull them out of thin air Makes me worry my opinion-having muscle is impaired. I’m confronted by opinions on a litany Of subjects daily, and it’s starting to get to me. It’s so hard to find out what’s taken place Without first working backwards through a bunch of hot takes. And I’m so damn inundated That it’s difficult to tell which opinions I’ve created In my own head and which ones were osmosis. Also, there’s this collective psychosis That makes pedestrians opine like a pundit On big picture things about which they know nothing. Fantasy GMs and political junkies Will write War and Peace on smooth vs. chunky. Too much cable news. Expertise brutally murdered by YouTube. I feel surrounded by a vocal minority Whose willingness to speak is their only authority. But squeaky wheels get grease And comments and likes and of course retweets. It appears we’ve made sane people retreat By handing the megaphone to these opinionated freaks.

But I don’t think there’s that many of ’em, And I don’t wanna know any of ’em. But it feels like there’s plenty of ’em, But I don’t think there’s that many of ’em.

12. Can you pick a favorite bar of yours and describe the genesis of it?

This section is from “Civic” on Loose Around The Edges:

In a Civic bumpin’ Misfits. Number one in your heart, two on your shit list. I’m an interesting fact not a statistic. One of my friends is related to Michael Chiklis.

Like I said, when I’m going stream-of-consciousness, the rhyme matters more. “Misfits,” “shit list,” and “statistic” were already there. When I try to think of rhymes—particularly multisyllabic ones—I form the sound(s) with my mouth over and over. Real words, gibberish, whatever comes out—just something that might make a light bulb go off that leads me to the right rhyme. I don’t actually remember it, but I’m sure that’s how I landed on “Michael Chiklis” (famous actor and my friend’s semi-distant relative). 

So there the line was: “One of my friends is related to Michael Chiklis.” It’s the type of mundane thing that might make you say “oh wow” in idle conversation but not really anything you’d find in a rap song. There’s just something so funny and exciting to me about transporting a throwaway tidbit like that into an unfamiliar and absurd context. On top of that, the preceding three lines are all a bit unexpected in their own right, so there’s a sort of build up leading to the oddest possible payoff—something I love to watch people react to in real time when I perform this song live.

13. Do you feel strongly one way or another about punch-ins? Will you whittle a bar down in order to account for breath control, or are you comfortable punching-in so you don’t have to sacrifice any words?

I can rap all of my verses straight through. I don’t do punch-ins, but I do often comp portions of multiple full-verse takes together to create a final Franken-take. I rap the entire time I write (out loud in private or just above silently in public), so lines I can’t rap get changed immediately. For what it’s worth, I have nothing against people who punch in.

14. What non-hiphop material do you turn to for inspiration? What non-music has influenced your work recently?

When I was writing BLIP, I read a lot of Kurt Vonnegut, slightly less George Saunders, and a little Joan Didion. The Expert also sent me a monster playlist of what he considers well-written non-rap songs. Some highlights: “Depreston” by Courtney Barnett, “Lah-Di-Dah” by Jake Thackray, “I’d Rather Dance With You” by Kings of Convenience, and “Cult Boyfriend” by Jeffrey Lewis. My favorite non-rap songwriter lately is Jonathan Richman.

15. Writers are often saddled with self-doubt. Do you struggle to like your own shit, or does it all sound dope to you?

I oscillate between not-quite-crippling self-doubt and utter certainty that I’m one of the best rappers ever (with several stops in between).

16. Who’s a rapper you listen to with such a distinguishable style that you need to resist the urge to imitate them?

Homeboy Sandman.

17. Do you have an agenda as an artist? Are there overarching concerns you want to communicate to the listener?

I don’t think so, but as the years have passed I’m less and less sure.

RAPS + CRAFTS is a series of questions posed to rappers about their craft and process. It is designed to give respect and credit to their engagement with the art of songwriting. The format is inspired, in part, by Rob McLennan’s 12 or 20 interview series.

Photo credit: Noah Anthony Mezzacappa

[adventuretrip1]

How Long is Triund Trek? Ask Us!

The Triund Trek is approximately 9 kilometers (5.6 miles) long from the starting point at McLeod Ganj or Dharamkot to the Triund summit. The trek typically takes about 4 to 5 hours to complete, making it a popular choice for beginners and experienced trekkers alike. This relatively short distance allows trekkers to enjoy stunning views of the Dhauladhar range and the Kangra Valley without requiring an overnight stay, although many choose to camp near the campsite to witness the breathtaking sunrise of Triund Himachal Pradesh.

What’s the Best Time to Plan for the Triund Trek?

The best time to plan for the Triund Trek is from March to June and September to November. During these months, the weather is pleasant, with clear skies and the comfortable temperature of Triund, making the trek enjoyable. In the spring and early summer (March to June), the trails are adorned with blooming rhododendrons and lush greenery. The autumn months (September to November) offer crisp air and panoramic views of the snow-capped Dhauladhar range. It’s advisable to avoid the monsoon season (July and August) due to slippery trails and possible landslides, and the winter months (December to February) can be very cold, with the possibility of snow blocking the trail.

Trek Overview:

Location: Himachal Pradesh, starting from McLeod Ganj or Dharamkot near Dharamshala.

Trek Distance: Triund trek distance is about 9 kilometers (5.6 miles) one way.

Difficulty: Easy to moderate, great for beginners.

Duration: 4 to 5 hours to reach the top, and 3 to 4 hours to come back down.

Elevation: 2,850 meters (9,429 feet) above sea level.

Best Time to Visit: March to June and September to November, when the weather is pleasant and views are clear.

Key Highlights of a Trek to Triund Himachal Pradesh:

Beautiful Scenery: Expect breathtaking views of the Dhauladhar mountain range and the Kangra Valley as you ascend. The Triund Top offers panoramic vistas at the summit are truly rewarding.

Diverse Terrain: The trek involves a mix of easy to moderate trails, with some sections of steady uphill and rocky paths. You’ll walk through lush forests of oak, rhododendron, and deodar.

Pleasant Weather: During the best seasons (March to June and September to November), you’ll enjoy cool and comfortable temperatures. However, be prepared for fluctuating weather conditions, especially if you’re camping overnight.

Campsites: If you choose to camp at Triund, expect a serene experience with starlit skies and a chance to witness a beautiful sunrise over the mountains. There are basic camping facilities available.

Friendly Atmosphere: The trek is popular among tourists, so you’ll likely meet fellow trekkers and enjoy a friendly and social environment.

Moderate Challenge: While the trek is relatively easy, the ascent can be strenuous, especially if you’re not used to trekking. However, the manageable distance makes it accessible for most beginners.

Limited Facilities: There are few facilities on the trail, so carry essentials like water, snacks, and a first aid kit. If camping, bring appropriate gear and warm clothing.

Local Culture: You’ll pass through small villages and may have the opportunity to interact with local residents, offering a glimpse into the region’s culture and lifestyle.

How long Is Triund Trek?

When you ask “How long is Triund trek?” I would say that the Triund Trek typically takes about 4 to 5 hours to reach the summit from McLeod Ganj or Dharamkot. The return journey usually takes 3 to 4 hours. Overall, you can expect the entire trek, including breaks and time spent at the summit, to last between 7 to 9 hours if you’re doing it in a single day. If you choose to camp overnight near Triund, you’ll have more time to enjoy the views and relax.

Conclusion:

I would say that the Triund Trek is a relatively short and manageable hike that typically takes about 4 to 5 hours to reach the summit and 3 to 4 hours to return. The total trek duration is around 7 to 9 hours if done in a day. This makes it an ideal choice for those looking for a rewarding trek without committing to an extended adventure.

[knvoiceovers]

KNVO FAQs

So I've received a lot of questions of the past several days and I decided to consolidate them all into one neat and tidy FAQ section!

If your query is not listed, please come on over to the "Ask Me Anything" tab and submit your questions there! (here it is)

With that sorted, let's begin!

1.   What genres or styles of voiceover work do you specialize in?

I currently provide narrations for YouTube videos, but my preference had always been characters of both comedy, drama, and the like. I had previously lent my voice to a video game project that you can play over here!

2.   What is your turnaround time for projects?

This heavily depends on the length of the script and the complexity of the lines provided. My normal narration service typically demands turnarounds that are within the day of handing over the script. I'd say, for about 2600 words, you can be sure that I'll get it done within at least 3-6 hours, unless certain circumstances arise, then I'll communicate with the client and give an updated ETA.

3.   What are your rates and how do you structure pricing for different projects?

My rates are generally priced according to GVAA guidelines. You've got your services fee, broadcasting licensing fee, commercial rights fee, all the good stuff in order for you to legally use my work in your project. However, like shoes and hats, my prices are not a "one fits all" number. It will be specialized according to your needs, and they tend to teeter towards the more inexpensive side.

4.   Can I listen to samples of your previous work or your demo reel?

Sure can! They are plastered all over my Demos and Stories sections!

5.   Do you offer revisions if the client wants changes to the voiceover?

As with any standard VO service, there is an entitled "first one's on the house" policy. If you decide that there needs to be a bit of a tweak, or the delivery of the lines is not meeting your expectations, we can work out what needs to be improved and I will gladly incorporate the revision, free of charge! ...for the first time.

Afterward, a revision fee will be included.

6.   How do we collaborate if I need directed sessions or specific voice direction?

I am available on all sorts of messaging apps! Whatever works best for you!

7.   What file formats do you deliver voiceover files in?

I typically deliver in WAV format, but if the client wishes certain parameters to be changed, I'm happy to abide!

8.   Can you provide a custom audition for my project?

Only if it guarantees me a spot! ;)

(The answer is yes, although lines must be provided with the proper context).

9.   Do you offer translation or localization services for scripts?

This is not quite a skill that I normally advertise, because it's a painstaking process to proofread translation and making sure that it makes sense to the audience. But I am quite good at it, so it's something that I do, indeed, provide, but for a cost all on its own.

10. What is your policy on confidentiality and usage rights for the voice recordings?

It's all up to the client. I know how to lock it up and throw away the key, so to speak!

11.   Are you available for live sessions or directed recordings?

Scheduling comes first, but absolutely!

12. How do we handle any technical issues or quality concerns during the recording process?

This is a simple matter, everything should be addressed at the initial point of communication and we'll go through the motions together.

13.   Do you have access to a professional studio for high-quality recordings?

For the past 2 and a half years, I've been working exclusively from home. I currently use an Audio Technica AT2020+ with intentions of upgrading to a new(er) microphone in the near future. My space is treated so it is 9/10s of the way to a professional studio. Remember to check my samples in order to gauge the quality that I provide and to see if it suits your needs!

14. What is the best way to communicate with you regarding project details and updates?

For matters that require immediate attention, please contact me in the email that will be provided after the initial point of communication.

15. What is your process for handling script revisions or changes after the initial recording?

First, the client explains the manner of the revision (inflection, speed, tone, mood, astrological sign (that's a joke)), and then I'll go through a sentence or two in order for them to provide real-time feedback. Once everything is squared away, I'll return to my little hole and redo the takes (please refer to FAQ #5 for further details).

16. Can you provide references or testimonials from previous clients?

They are all on my Upwork profile, but I can copy paste it here:

...I still get goosebumps reading this!

17. Do you offer any additional services, such as scriptwriting or post-production?

I do offer a once-over proofreading service so that the ideas in the script flow more smoothly and coherently. No one likes it when the person they are listening to are jumping from one conclusion to another without any sort of transition! (And grammatical errors).

18. How do you ensure the voiceover matches the intended tone or emotion of the project?

That's where the "Acting" in Voice Actor comes in! I find it helps me to be aware of the context, and, even moreso, the state of the character and their past, what grudges they hold, what aspirations they have.

Also, asking the director would help out a great deal!

19. What sets your voice acting services apart from others in the industry?

While there are numerous options out there in the sea of VO, I can only assure the client that my voice is the speaker of my soul. I am hardworking, dedicated, and always go (reasonably) above and beyond for my clients.

20. What do you need from the client to ensure a successful voiceover project?

I am but a simple man. I only need:

-Open/Clear Communication -Compassion -Respect

I'll briefly underscore what each of these mean:

Open/Clear Communication: If it wasn't made self-evident, this means that both I and the client must be honest in our expectations for each other. For example, the client requests a reading of a 1000-word script. I expect the script to be no more than 1100 words (as we can't be so fickle about word count). However, if it's any more than 1100, say, 1500? I have to draw the line and call the client out, respectfully.

Compassion: Everyone's got a lot on their plate sometimes, and that means we blast through deadlines occasionally. Inversely, you may be getting stressed out or are dealing with stuff in your life and replying to messages is all too much for you. I get it, but there's only so much anyone can endure. That being said, I will extend to the client a decent grace period to reply to my messages, as I know they would do the same for me if I needed more time on my end to deal with certain life events.

Respect: Above all else, I wouldn't be where I am today if I didn't respect the people who gave me the opportunity to utilize my talents. In turn, if they hadn't respected me by allowing me to audition without any snarky remarks or making snide comments, they wouldn't have had the pleasure of working with me. (Just kidding, but still. Be nice!)

Hey, you've made it to the last item of the FAQs! Good job! Here's a link to a game that I've had the pleasure of being a part of! Mysterious Mystery: The Demo Chapter by Walker Sheets (itch.io)

[spacenutspod]

32 Min Read The Marshall Star for December 20, 2023 Crew-6 Connects with Marshall Team Members During Visit By Celine Smith One week after the 25th anniversary of the International Space Station, NASA’s SpaceX Crew-6 visited the agency’s Marshall Space Flight Center to share their experience during Expedition 69. The event was held Dec. 14 in Building 4316. Expedition 69 began March 2 with Crew-6 flying on SpaceX’s Falcon 9 rocket from NASA’s Kennedy Space Center. While aboard the space station, the crew studied the behavior of flames in microgravity, grew cardiac tissue using 3-D culturing, and researched the impact of weightlessness on astronauts’ health. Expedition 69 Crew-6 astronauts smile and hold a banner for a photo with team members from the Human Exploration Development & Operations Office at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. From left, the astronauts are Sultan Alneyadi, Steven Bowen, Warren “Woody” Hoburg, and Frank Rubio. NASA/Charles Beason NASA astronauts Frank Rubio (flight engineer), Stephen Bowen (flight engineer), Warren “Woody” Hoburg (flight engineer), and UAE (United Arab Emirates) astronaut Sultan Alneyadi (flight engineer) answered questions from Marshall team members after viewing a short film summarizing the research done on Expedition 69. Acting Center Director Joseph Pelfrey welcomed Marshall team members, thanking them and Crew-6 for all the effort that goes into making a mission successful. “As we wrap up 2023, I just want to say how proud I am of our team and all the accomplishments that you have helped us achieve this year,” Pelfrey said. “Crew-6 is going to talk about their amazing experience. Marshall is a part of that experience and mission with the work we do here between Payload Operations, the Environmental Control and Life Support System and payload facilities and our Commercial Crew Program support. This is a great time to hear from our guests and celebrate our successes together.” During the Q&A portion of the event, the audience learned about the strides in research being made on the station. Hoburg discussed the growing of human tissue while on the expedition. “One day Sultan worked on heart muscle cells up there and we actually got to see the cells beating under the microscope,” Hoburg said. “We’re doing work in Low Earth orbit to help people back on Earth with potential heart disease. We also did work with the BioFabrication facility where we 3D-printed biological material. We printed the first-ever section of human meniscus.” The microgravity environment of the station provides crew members with the ability to do more intricate work that cannot be done as well on Earth, Hoburg explained. Expedition 69 is particularly important because it marks the longest time an American astronaut has been in space. The end of the mission concluded Rubio’s 371-day stay in space, which began with Expedition 68. “I was excited to implement lessons learned right away,” Rubio said. “With your first mission, you’re learning. You typically don’t get to implement your better self until years later. I got that opportunity much sooner.” From left, Alneyadi, Hoburg, Bowen, and Rubio answer questions during the Marshall team member Q&A portion of their visit. NASA/Charles Beason Rubio also used his experience to detail the effects of prolonged time in space on the body. “You miss microgravity, in the sense that it’s a lot of fun to just fly around,” he said. “It takes 72 hours to 5 days to fully acclimate to microgravity. After two weeks, you’re completely used to it. When you come back to Earth, there’s a lot of aches and pains because the reality is offloading everything off your joints, especially your spine, feels good – specifically for those who are older. Like, for me, it feels like I’ve run a 5k every time I get up because my feet did nothing for a year, but your body does readjust.” Expedition 69 also marks the first time a UAE astronaut has been to the station. Alneyadi spoke about his unique experience when asked about his participation in a culturally based event. “I was presenting to the whole region, speaking Arabic, discussing the International Space Station, and showcasing the importance of its science,” Alneyadi said. “It was very impactful, and I felt honored to be a part of it as well. I see the impact on the students. They ask a lot of questions and have a lot of excitement.” The event concluded with the opportunity for attendees to get their picture taken with the Crew-6 astronauts. “People are the same everywhere, that’s the basics of humanity,” Bowen said when asked what’s the most exciting thing he’s learned from the international aspect of his work. From our perspective, we can’t see borders — it’s one Earth. At the very intimate singular level, people are people. We’re people, and we’re absolutely capable of doing amazing things.” Learn more about Crew-6. Smith, a Media Fusion employee, supports the Marshall Office of Communications. › Back to Top Take 5 with Jason Adam By Wayne Smith For Jason Adam, joining NASA wasn’t a career choice. It was a calling. “A calling to push the boundaries of human knowledge, to turn the dreams of a starry-eyed child gazing up at the sky into a reality, and to be a part of humanity’s greatest adventure – the exploration of the universe,” said Adam, who is the manager for the CFM (Cryogenic Fluid Management) Portfolio Project at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. Jason Adam, manager for the CFM Portfolio Project at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center, holds a full-size resin model of a Thermodynamic Vent System Injector while standing in front of an Exploration Systems Test Facility within the CFM Laboratory in Building 4205.NASA/Danielle Burleson The project develops key CFM technologies used to acquire, transfer, and store cryogenic fluids in orbit. The project is within STMD (Space Technology Mission Directorate) and develops crucial technologies for STMD and other mission directorates. Adam’s role extends across 12 states and six NASA centers, managing significant contracts and a multitude of complex activities nationwide. Growing up in North Dakota, Adam said he always was captivated by the mysteries of the universe as he studied the night sky. “(I was fascinated) by the endless expanse above, with its twinkling stars and wandering planets, and boundless possibilities,” he said. “This childhood wonder laid the foundation for my journey to NASA. It was here that my dream to explore the cosmos took flight.” Working with projects like CFM enables Adam to live his dream, and he hopes to inspire others as well toward NASA’s mission of exploring the universe for the benefit of all. “Remember your journey at NASA is not just about personal achievements, but also about contributing to the greater goal of exploring and understanding our universe,” he said. “Embrace this opportunity with enthusiasm and a commitment to excellence.” Question: What excites you most about the future of human space exploration and your team’s role it? Adam: Cryogenic fluid management is a critical and exciting area of technology, particularly in relation to the exploration of Mars for several reasons. One of the primary uses of cryogenic fluids in space exploration is as rocket fuel, specifically liquid hydrogen and liquid oxygen. These cryogenically stored fuels are highly efficient but must be kept at extremely low temperatures. Effective cryogenic fluid management is crucial for months or years-long missions to Mars, as it ensures that the spacecraft has enough fuel for the journey there, operations on the Martian surface, and the return trip. Mars missions are looking into using ISRU (in-situ resource utilization) to generate fuel from Martian resources. For example, water ice from Mars can be processed into liquid hydrogen and oxygen. Managing these cryogenic fluids effectively is essential for this process to be viable, enabling longer and more sustainable missions. Cryogenic fluid management is not only a cornerstone to enable Mars exploration but also a catalyst for broader innovations in space travel and various terrestrial applications. Question: What has been the proudest moment of your career and why? Adam: There have been many proud moments in my 20-plus years at Marshall that originated at Stennis Space Center. Some of those moments include helping the shuttle return to safe flight through testing SSMEs (space shuttle main engines) at Stennis, to flying the Mighty Eagle Lander with a small team in the Marshall West Test Area, to now having the privilege of leading the CFM project with a group of spectacular individuals. In each case, I have been proudest when the team was accountable, authentic, passionate, inclusive, and highly competent. Those are the teams I cherish most and the type of environment I try to create as a leader. Question: Who or what drives/motivates you? Adam: Working at Marshall, my motivation is deeply rooted in the pioneering spirit of technological innovation and the quest for knowledge beyond Earth. Marshall, known for its groundbreaking work in developing systems that push the boundaries of space technology, serves as a constant source of inspiration for me. My drive is fueled by a profound passion for space exploration. The idea of contributing to missions that reach into the unknown, that test the limits of human ingenuity and reveal the mysteries of the cosmos, is what gets me up in the morning. I’m driven by the knowledge that the systems and technologies you’re helping to develop at Marshall will one day make space more accessible and safer for astronauts. This drive isn’t just about the technology itself, it’s about what that technology represents – the human desire to explore, to learn, and to constantly push forward. My motivation comes from wanting to contribute in a meaningful way to this grand endeavor. Each day at Marshall offers a new opportunity to be a part of something larger than yourself – to contribute to a legacy of exploration that benefits not just the present generation but also the future ones. In my role, I’m not just a witness to history in the making; I’m an active participant in shaping it. Question: What advice do you have for employees early in their NASA career or those in new leadership roles? Adam: First, follow your passion. Begin by immersing yourself in a field that truly fascinates you. NASA’s diverse missions span from the depths of the oceans to the far reaches of space, so align your work with what genuinely excites you. This passion will be your driving force and will keep you motivated through challenges. Second, build a strong foundation. Whether your focus is technical, scientific, or administrative, strive to develop a robust base of knowledge and skills. Seek opportunities to learn from different projects and teams. This diverse experience will be invaluable as you progress in your career, providing a well-rounded perspective and a toolkit of solutions. Third, nurture your team. As you advance into leadership roles, remember that your success is intricately linked to the well-being and performance of your team. Invest in understanding their strengths, aspirations, and challenges. Encourage an environment where everyone feels valued and motivated. Strive to create an environment where employees can bring their full self to work.  Question: What do you enjoy doing with your time while away from work? Adam: Outside of work, I enjoy spending time with my family. My wife and I have three children and two dogs. We like to spend time outdoors and enjoy camping around the region in our camper on some weekends. My wife and I also like to watch our alma mater, North Dakota State University, play football. Smith, a Media Fusion employee and the Marshall Star editor, supports the Marshall Office of Communications. › Back to Top Pamela Bourque Named Chief Counsel at Marshall Pamela Bourque has been named as chief counsel at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. She has served as the center’s acting chief counsel since May, leading Marshall’s Office of the General Counsel team and overseeing the legal practice areas of procurement and contract law, partnerships and agreements, personnel law, ethics, fiscal law, employment law, intellectual property, and litigation.  Marshall’s chief counsel is responsible for coordinating a full range of legal operations affecting the center and its organizations. The chief counsel also serves as a senior member of the NASA Office of the General Counsel’s enterprise leadership team. Pamela Bourque, chief counsel at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. NASA From 2022 to April 2023, Bourque was Marshall’s deputy chief counsel, assisting the chief counsel with managing the legal operations of the center. She also supported the NASA legal enterprise on various senior teams, including the Legal Leadership Board, the Ethics Best Practices Working Group, the Deputy Counsel Forum, and participated as a mentor in NASA’s attorney mentoring program. From 2005 to 2022, Bourque was the center’s assistant chief counsel for general law and litigation. She was the functional lead for litigation matters and provided Marshall management with legal advice and representation in the areas of personnel law, federal ethics standards, agreements, and other matters. Under her leadership, Marshall’s Ethics Program was recognized by the U.S. Office of Government Ethics with an Ethics Program Award.  From 1993 to 2005, Bourque was an attorney-adviser at Marshall. She has previously served as president of the North Alabama Chapter of the FBA (Federal Bar Association), as well as the chair of FBA’s Labor Law Symposium for multiple years. Bourque has been recognized with numerous NASA awards during her career, including the NASA Office of the General Counsel’s Meritorious Service Award, the NASA Exceptional Service Medal, the NASA Silver Achievement Medal, the NASA Space Flight Awareness Launch Honoree Award, the NASA Space Flight Awareness Silver Snoopy Award, the Marshall Engineering Directorate’s Service to Engineering Award, and other performance, on-the-spot, and peer awards. She has been profiled in Women at NASA.  A native of Broussard, Louisiana, Bourque is a graduate of the U.S. Army Aviation and Missile Command’s Leadership Investment for Tomorrow (LIFT-II) Program, the Simmons Executive Leadership for Women/NASA Fellowship at Simmons College, the Department of Defense Mediator Certification Program, and she is currently enrolled in the Leadership of Greater Huntsville’s Connect Emerging Leaders Program. Bourque earned a Juris Doctor degree from Tulane University School of Law in New Orleans, Louisiana, where she was a senior fellow. She received her honors baccalaureate degree from the University of Louisiana at Lafayette. She lives in Madison with her husband, Max Patin. They have two children. › Back to Top Thomas Percy Named Systems Engineering and Integration Manager for Human Landing System Program Thomas Percy has been named as the SE&I (Systems Engineering and Integration) manager for the HLS (Human Landing System) Program at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. The SE&I office oversees the development and verification of requirements, cross-discipline insight into commercial lander providers, and cross-program integration. The HLS SE&I team is also responsible for integration with the Moon to Mars Program in the areas of mission development, general analyses, and requirements management. Thomas Percy, Systems Engineering and Integration manager for the Human Landing System Program at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. Credit: NASA/Danielle Burleson Since 2021, Percy has been the deputy SE&I manager for HLS. From 2020 to 2021, he was the integrated performance lead for HLS, managing the team within SE&I responsible for trajectory analysis, environments, performance assessment, mission development, and metric tracking. From 2016 to 2020, Percy was a space systems analyst prior to his role as chief architect of the Advanced Concepts Office at Marshall, where he supported the formulation of the HLS Program as well as transportation architecture studies for human Mars missions and the development of various robotic spacecraft concepts. Prior to joining NASA in 2016, Percy spent 13 years working in private industry at SAIC as a section manager and support contractor to Marshall and Johnson Space Center. He also was a part-time instructor in the Mechanical and Aerospace Engineering Department at the University of Alabama in Huntsville off and on from 2006-2021. His honors include a NASA Group Achievement Award: Human Landing System Source Evaluation Panel; NASA Exceptional Service medal; NASA Silver Achievement Medal Group: Human Landing System Source Evaluation Panel; and a NASA Group Achievement Award: Mars Basis of Comparison Reference Team.    A native of Easton, Massachusetts, Percy received a bachelor’s degree in mechanical engineering from Rochester Institute of Technology in Rochester, New York, a master’s in aerospace engineering from the Georgia Institute of Technology in Atlanta, Georgia, and a doctorate in aerospace systems engineering from the University of Alabama in Huntsville. He and his wife, Erin, live in Madison. They have three children. › Back to Top Mission Success is in Our Hands: Chelsi Cassilly Mission Success is in Our Hands is a safety initiative collaboration between NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center and Jacobs. As part of the initiative, eight Marshall team members are featured in new testimonial banners placed around the center. This is the second in a Marshall Star series profiling team members featured in the testimonial banners. Chelsi Cassilly is a planetary protection microbiologist working for Jacobs at Marshall, where she’s been for almost three years. A native of Tennessee, she previously worked at Harvard Medical School in Boston, Massachusetts, as a postdoctoral fellow prior to joining Jacobs. She’s a graduate of Lipscomb University in Nashville, Tennessee, where she earned a bachelor’s degree in molecular biology, and of the University of Tennessee, Knoxville, where she earned a doctoral degree in microbiology. Chelsi Cassilly is a planetary protection microbiologist working at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. NASA/Charles Beason “It’s an honor and privilege to work for Jacobs and NASA,” Cassilly said. “I look forward to work every single day and consider myself exceptionally blessed with this opportunity I’ve been afforded.” Question: What are some of your key responsibilities? Cassilly: I support many different projects at Marshall. Primarily I help projects implement planetary protection. This includes the Mars Ascent Vehicle, which is part of the Mars Sample Retrieval Lander; a mission concept for a Europa Lander; and the lunar Human Landing System. I also manage the Planetary Protection Lab at Marshall, which is a fully functional biosafety level 2 lab. Funded by multiple sources, including NASA ROSES (Research Opportunities in Space and Earth Science), Marshall Cooperative Agreement Notices, Marshall Technical Excellence funding, and Jacobs Innovation Grants, I have both completed and continue to support multiple smaller experiments to determine microbial abundance within materials as well as sterilization methods. Question: How does your work support the safety and success of NASA and Marshall missions? Cassilly: NASA missions must meet the requirements laid out by headquarters. One subset of requirements on some missions is planetary protection, that is, preventing forward and backward microbial contamination. Marshall is involved with several missions where there are planetary protection requirements to meet. I help the center interpret and implement techniques to meet the requirements. I am currently the only point of contact for this discipline at Marshall, so I take seriously the responsibility of helping engineers understand unfamiliar terminology while also ensuring we are compliant with requirements, therefore helping achieve the goals of our missions. Question: What does the Mission Success is in Our Hands initiative mean to you? Cassilly: It means that success is personal. It means every single one of us can contribute in large ways to mission success simply by being ethical and maintaining our integrity as workers and as individuals. Question: How can we work together better to achieve mission success? Cassilly: We can support one another by encouraging safety, ethics, a culture of learning, ownership, and integrity within our teams. We can foster an environment where ownership is lauded and correction is not seen as negative, but rather as learning opportunities and areas of improvement. Benchmarking such progress of both individuals and teams, using mistakes and problems to propel us forward, will serve to strengthen teams, develop a sense of pride in our collective mission, and provide clear trajectory for our long-term efforts and goals. › Back to Top I am Artemis: Bruce Askins Growing up, Bruce Askins was passionate about space and oceanography. His desire to explore other worlds always made him want to be an astronaut. Though he did not become an astronaut, Askins has built a 42-year career at NASA, and, as the infrastructure management lead for NASA’s SLS (Space Launch System) Program at the agency’s Marshall Space Flight Center, Askins is an integral part for the next generation of explorers. Askins and his team are the gatekeepers and protectors of data and responsible for both cyber- security and physical security for the SLS Program. Under Askins’ leadership, his team ensures all data is stored properly, that information about the rocket shared outside NASA is done with proper data markings, and access is given to those that need it. Bruce Askins is the infrastructure management lead for NASA’s SLS (Space Launch System) Program at the agency’s Marshall Space Flight Center.NASA/Sam Lott Askins wasn’t always familiar with the world of infrastructure and cyber security. As a mechanical engineering graduate from the University of Alabama in Huntsville, Askins began his career as part of NASA’s internship program. He considered himself imaginative, or “creatively driven,” which is why Askins originally pursued a career at NASA. “I always loved the design aspect of my early position in special test equipment,” Askins says. “Back then I drew everything by hand with a pencil before eventually transitioning to computers.” His creativity and interest in underwater worlds, along with his scuba diver certification, led him to have a hand in designing early test elements for NASA’s Hubble Space Telescope. At the Neutral Buoyancy Simulator, a former underwater training facility at Marshall, Askins interacted with a crew of astronauts supporting Hubble and designed the flight simulation hardware used for crew training on the Canadarm2 robotic arm that is still a part of the International Space Station today. Askins has been a part of the NASA family for almost half a century and is thrilled to be a part of the next era of space exploration to the Moon under Artemis. “To explore is one of the greatest things that we can all do, and with the Artemis Generation the sky’s the limit,” Askins said. SLS is part of NASA’s backbone for deep space exploration, along with the Orion spacecraft, advanced spacesuits and rovers, the Gateway in orbit around the Moon, and commercial human landing systems. SLS is the only rocket that can send Orion, astronauts, and supplies to the Moon in a single launch. › Back to Top NASA’s Tech Demo Streams First Video from Deep Space via Laser NASA’s Deep Space Optical Communications experiment beamed an ultra-high definition streaming video on Dec. 11 from a record-setting 19 million miles away (or about 80 times the Earth-Moon distance). The milestone is part of a NASA technology demonstration aimed at streaming very high-bandwidth video and other data from deep space – enabling future human missions beyond Earth orbit. “This accomplishment underscores our commitment to advancing optical communications as a key element to meeting our future data transmission needs,” said NASA Deputy Administrator Pam Melroy. “Increasing our bandwidth is essential to achieving our future exploration and science goals, and we look forward to the continued advancement of this technology and the transformation of how we communicate during future interplanetary missions.” Members of the DSOC (Deep Space Optical Communications) team react to the first high-definition streaming video to be sent via laser from deep space Dec. 11 at NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory. Sent by the DSOC transceiver aboard the Psyche spacecraft nearly 19 million miles from Earth, the video features a cat named Taters.NASA/JPL-Caltech The demo transmitted the 15-second test video via a cutting-edge instrument called a flight laser transceiver. The video signal took 101 seconds to reach Earth, sent at the system’s maximum bit rate of 267 Mbps (megabits per second). Capable of sending and receiving near-infrared signals, the instrument beamed an encoded near-infrared laser to the Hale Telescope at Caltech’s Palomar Observatory in San Diego County, California, where it was downloaded. Each frame from the looping video was then sent “live” to NASA’s Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Southern California, where the video was played in real time. Deep Space Optical Communications, or DSOC, a NASA technology demonstration riding aboard the Psyche space craft, is using advanced laser communication technology to transmit large amounts of data back to earth. DSOC is the latest in a series of optical communication demonstrations funded by the agency’s TDM (Technology Demonstration Missions) program office at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center. “We just demonstrated a highly advanced data transmission capability that will play an instrumental role in NASA’s boldest missions to deep space, and it shows that DSOC is functioning successfully in a relevant environment,” said Tawnya Laughinghouse, manager of the TDM program office at Marshall. “Streaming an ultra-high definition video from millions of miles away in deep space is no small feat.” The laser communications demo, which launched with NASA’s Psyche mission Oct. 13, is designed to transmit data from deep space at rates 10 to 100 times greater than the state-of-the-art radio frequency systems used by deep space missions today. As Psyche travels to the main asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter, the technology demonstration will send high-data-rate signals as far out as the Red Planet’s greatest distance from Earth. In doing so, it paves the way for higher-data-rate communications capable of sending complex scientific information, high-definition imagery, and video in support of humanity’s next giant leap: sending humans to Mars. “One of the goals is to demonstrate the ability to transmit broadband video across millions of miles. Nothing on Psyche generates video data, so we usually send packets of randomly generated test data,” said Bill Klipstein, the tech demo’s project manager at JPL. “But to make this significant event more memorable, we decided to work with designers at JPL to create a fun video, which captures the essence of the demo as part of the Psyche mission.” Uploaded before launch, the short ultra-high definition video features an orange tabby cat named Taters, the pet of a JPL employee, chasing a laser pointer, with overlayed graphics. The graphics illustrate several features from the tech demo, such as Psyche’s orbital path, Palomar’s telescope dome, and technical information about the laser and its data bit rate. Tater’s heart rate, color, and breed are also on display. This 15-second clip shows the first ultra-high-definition video sent via laser from deep space, featuring a cat named Taters chasing a laser with test graphics overlayed. (NASA/JPL-Caltech) “Despite transmitting from millions of miles away, it was able to send the video faster than most broadband internet connections,” said Ryan Rogalin, the project’s receiver electronics lead at JPL. “In fact, after receiving the video at Palomar, it was sent to JPL over the internet, and that connection was slower than the signal coming from deep space. JPL’s DesignLab did an amazing job helping us showcase this technology – everyone loves Taters.” There’s also a historical link: Beginning in 1928, a small statue of the popular cartoon character Felix the Cat was featured in television test broadcast transmissions. Today, cat videos and memes are some of the most popular content online. This latest milestone comes after “first light” was achieved on Nov. 14. Since then, the system has demonstrated faster data downlink speeds and increased pointing accuracy during its weekly checkouts. On the night of Dec. 4, the project demonstrated downlink bit rates of 62.5 Mbps, 100 Mbps, and 267 Mbps, which is comparable to broadband internet download speeds. The team was able to download a total of 1.3 terabits of data during that time. As a comparison, NASA’s Magellan mission to Venus downlinked 1.2 terabits during its entire mission from 1990 to 1994. “When we achieved first light, we were excited, but also cautious. This is a new technology, and we are experimenting with how it works,” said Ken Andrews, project flight operations lead at JPL. “But now, with the help of our Psyche colleagues, we are getting used to working with the system and can lock onto the spacecraft and ground terminals for longer than we could previously. We are learning something new during each checkout.” The Deep Space Optical Communications demonstration is the latest in a series of optical communication demonstrations funded by the TDM program under NASA’s Space Technology Mission Directorate and supported by NASA’s SCaN (Space Communications and Navigation) program within the agency’s Space Operations Mission Directorate. The Psyche mission is led by Arizona State University. JPL is responsible for the mission’s overall management, system engineering, integration and test, and mission operations. Psyche is the 14th mission selected as part of NASA’s Discovery Program under the Science Mission Directorate, managed by the agency’s Marshall Space Flight Center. NASA’s Launch Services Program, based at the agency’s Kennedy Space Center, managed the launch service. Maxar Technologies in Palo Alto, California, provided the high-power solar electric propulsion spacecraft chassis. › Back to Top NASA Geologist Paves Way for Building on the Moon By Jessica Barnett For many at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center, a love – be it for space, science, or something else – drew them to the career they’re in today. For geologist Jennifer Edmunson, there were multiple reasons. Her love for geology dates back to her childhood in Arizona, playing in the mud, fascinated by the green river rocks she would find and how they fit together. As she grew older, her love for astronomy led her to study the regolith and geology of the Moon and Mars in graduate school. Jennifer Edmunson, geologist and MMPACT project manager at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center.NASA That, in turn, led her to Marshall for her post-doctorate, where she studied how shock processes from meteorite impacts potentially affect scientists’ work to determine the age of rocks using different radioisotope systems. On her first day, she needed help from the center’s IT department, which is how she met Joel Miller, the man she now calls her husband. “I met him on April Fools’ Day, and he asked me out on Friday the 13th,” Edmunson recalled. “I knew I needed to get a stable job, so I got a job as the junior geologist on the simulant team here at Marshall. That was back in 2009.” Fourteen years later, they still work at Marshall. He’s now the center’s acting spectrum manager, and she manages the MMPACT (Moon-to-Mars Planetary Autonomous Construction Technology) project. Through MMPACT, Marshall is working with commercial partners and academia to develop and test robotic technology that will one day use lunar soil and 3-D printing technology to build structures on the Moon. “It’s phenomenal to see the development of the different materials we’ve been working on,” Edmunson said. “We started with this whole array of materials, and now we’re like, ‘OK, what’s the best one for our proof of concept?’” NASA aims for a proof-of-concept mission to validate the technology and capability by the end of this decade. This mission would involve traveling to the Moon to create a representative element of a landing pad. MMPACT aims to build lunar infrastructure using the materials readily available on the Moon. This process, known as in-situ resource utilization, allows NASA engineers to use lunar regolith, fine-grained silicate minerals thought to be available in a layer between 10 to 70 feet deep on the lunar surface, to build different structures and infrastructure elements. Marshall geologist and MMPACT project manager Jennifer Edmunson, fourth from right, joined several other scientists for a trip to Stillwater, Montana, earlier this year. Stillwater is known to have rocks like those found on the Moon.NASA However, regolith can’t be used like cement here on Earth, as it wouldn’t solidify in the low-pressure environment. So, Edmunson and her team are now looking at microwaves and laser technology to heat the regolith to create solid building materials. After successfully building a full-scale landing pad on the Moon, MMPACT will likely focus on a vertical structure, like a garage, habitat, or safe haven for astronauts. “The possibilities are endless,” she said. “There is so much potential for using different materials for different applications. There’s just a wealth of opportunity for anyone who wants to play in the field, really.” Edmunson hopes to get more lunar regolith first, as NASA is still working with samples from the Apollo missions and simulants based on those samples. She’s also looking forward to Artemis bringing back samples from different parts of the lunar surface because it will provide her team with a wider pool of regolith samples to analyze. “We want to learn more about different locations on the Moon,” she said. “We have to understand the differences and how that might affect our processes.” Knowing this will make it easier not just to build landing pads and habitats but to build roadways and the start of a lunar economy, Edmunson said. Some minerals are rare on Earth but abundant on the Moon. To study how those minerals could be used for building, scientists rely on simulants, like the synthetic anorthite pictured here.NASA “I want there to be sufficient structures there to make things safe for crew, so if we want to build a hotel on the Moon, we could,” she said. “We could have tourists going there, mining districts pulling rare Earth elements from the Moon. We could do that and get a lot of resources that way. I want science to progress, things like building a radio telescope on the far side of the Moon. I want more information on more of the different sites around the Moon, so we can get a be`tter understanding of how the Moon formed and the history of the Moon. We’ve only scratched the surface there.” There are parts of the Moon that can only be explored in detail by visiting in person, Edmunson explained, and she’s excited to be working at Marshall as that exploration is made possible. “It’s awesome to be part of this. Honestly, it’s the reason I get out of bed in the morning,” she said. “I was born in ’77, so I missed the Apollo lunar landings. I would love to see humans on the Moon in my lifetime, and on Mars would just be amazing.” Her advice is simple to anyone considering a career like hers: Just go for it. “A lot of it comes down to passion and tenacity,” she said. “If you really love what you do and you get to do it every day, you find more enjoyment in your career. I feel like I’m making a difference, and with surface construction at such an infant kind of stage right now, I feel like it’s a contribution that will last for a very long time.” Barnett, a Media Fusion employee, supports the Marshall Office of Communications. › Back to Top Sprightly Stars Illuminate ‘Christmas Tree Cluster’ A new image of NGC 2264, also known as the “Christmas Tree Cluster,” shows the shape of a cosmic tree with the glow of stellar lights. NGC 2264 is, in fact, a cluster of young stars – with ages between about one and five million years old – in our Milky Way about 2,500 light-years away from Earth. The stars in NGC 2264 are both smaller and larger than the Sun, ranging from some with less than a tenth the mass of the Sun to others containing about seven solar masses. This new image of NGC 2264, also known as the “Christmas Tree Cluster,” shows the shape of a cosmic tree with the glow of stellar lights.X-ray: NASA/CXC/SAO; Optical: T.A. Rector (NRAO/AUI/NSF and NOIRLab/NSF/AURA) and B.A. Wolpa (NOIRLab/NSF/AURA); Infrared: NASA/NSF/IPAC/CalTech/Univ. of Massachusetts; Image Processing: NASA/CXC/SAO/L. Frattare & J.Major This new composite image enhances the resemblance to a Christmas tree through choices of color and rotation. The blue and white lights (which blink in the animated version of this image) are young stars that give off X-rays detected by NASA’s Chandra X-ray Observatory. Optical data from the National Science Foundation’s WIYN 0.9-meter telescope on Kitt Peak shows gas in the nebula in green, corresponding to the “pine needles” of the tree, and infrared data from the Two Micron All Sky Survey shows foreground and background stars in white. This image has been rotated clockwise by about 160 degrees from the astronomer’s standard of North pointing upward, so that it appears like the top of the tree is toward the top of the image. Young stars, like those in NGC 2264, are volatile and undergo strong flares in X-rays and other types of variations seen in different types of light. The coordinated, blinking variations shown in this animation, however, are artificial, to emphasize the locations of the stars seen in X-rays and highlight the similarity of this object to a Christmas tree. In reality, the variations of the stars are not synchronized. To view this video please enable JavaScript, and consider upgrading to a web browser that supports HTML5 video This composite image shows the Christmas Tree Cluster. The blue and white lights (which blink in the animated version of this image) are young stars that give off X-rays detected by NASA’s Chandra X-ray Observatory. Optical data from the National Science Foundation’s WIYN 0.9-meter telescope on Kitt Peak shows gas in the nebula in green, corresponding to the “pine needles” of the tree, and infrared data from the Two Micron All Sky Survey shows foreground and background stars in white. This image has been rotated clockwise by about 160 degrees from the astronomer’s standard of North pointing upward, so that it appears like the top of the tree is toward the top of the image. The variations observed by Chandra and other telescopes are caused by several different processes. Some of these are related to activity involving magnetic fields, including flares like those undergone by the Sun – but much more powerful – and hot spots and dark regions on the surfaces of the stars that go in and out of view as the stars rotate. There can also be changes in the thickness of gas obscuring the stars, and changes in the amount of material still falling onto the stars from disks of surrounding gas. NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center manages the Chandra program. The Smithsonian Astrophysical Observatory’s Chandra X-ray Center controls science operations from Cambridge, Massachusetts, and flight operations from Burlington, Massachusetts. › Back to Top NASA’s 3D-printed Rotating Detonation Rocket Engine Test a Success NASA has achieved a new benchmark in developing an innovative propulsion system called the Rotating Detonation Rocket Engine (RDRE). Engineers at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center successfully tested a novel, 3D-printed RDRE for 251 seconds (or longer than four minutes), producing more than 5,800 pounds of thrust. That kind of sustained burn emulates typical requirements for a lander touchdown or a deep-space burn that could set a spacecraft on course from the Moon to Mars, said Marshall combustion devices engineer Thomas Teasley, who leads the RDRE test effort at the center. Engineers at NASA’s Marshall Space Flight Center conduct a successful, 251-second hot fire test of a full-scale Rotating Detonation Rocket Engine combustor in fall 2023, achieving more than 5,800 pounds of thrust.NASA RDRE’s first hot fire test was performed at Marshall in the summer of 2022 in partnership with In Space LLC and Purdue University, both of Lafayette, Indiana. That test produced more than 4,000 pounds of thrust for nearly a minute. The primary goal of the latest test, Teasley noted, is to better understand how to scale the combustor to different thrust classes, supporting engine systems of all types and maximizing the variety of missions it could serve, from landers to upper stage engines to supersonic retropropulsion, a deceleration technique that could land larger payloads – or even humans – on the surface of Mars. Test stand video captured at Marshall shows ignition of a full-scale Rotating Detonation Rocket Engine combustor, which was fired for a record 251 seconds and achieved more than 5,800 pounds of thrust. (NASA) “The RDRE enables a huge leap in design efficiency,” he said. “It demonstrates we are closer to making lightweight propulsion systems that will allow us to send more mass and payload further into deep space, a critical component to NASA’s Moon to Mars vision.” Engineers at NASA’s Glenn Research Center and Venus Aerospace of Houston, Texas, are working with Marshall to identify how to scale the technology for higher performance. RDRE is managed and funded by the Game Changing Development Program within NASA’s Space Technology Mission Directorate. › Back to Top

[learntheta]

CAT Quants Approach: Aiming for the 99%ile

The Best CAT Quants Technique For A 99%Ile

Do you want to know how to prepare for the CAT Quants to achieve the 99 %ile? Let's get you going now.

The most often taken portion of the CAT is quantitative aptitude. This section either makes you love it or loathe it. There is no middle ground. This component is typically significantly simpler for engineers than the other two. To all non-engineers or anyone who feels frightened by this portion, I would like to say that it is the simplest section to enhance. There is a laid-out syllabus that covers many subjects that we all covered in classes nine and ten. The applied concept is the same; nevertheless, some topics, such as Numbers, PNC, and Algebra, may differ. The Quant part of the CAT also has the highest average score, with some learntheta.com students even getting 102/102 in the CAT'19. (3-hour cycle)

The Problem with CAT Syllabus

The most significant subjects (based on weight):

• Mathematics ( 8-9 Questions)

• Calculus (5-6 Questions)

• Mathematics (5-6 Questions)

Other crucial subjects:

• Numbers (1-3 questions, however, this topic will serve as your foundation for all others; some of the concepts you learn here will be useful for both Quantitative questions and some DI sets);

• Series, logs, P, and C; (3-4 Questions)

• Unspecified (1-2 Questions)

Many of the chapters are quite basic and only require a quick review. You can anticipate 1-2 questions every chapter from a subject like Logarithm and Series, which is thought to be rather straightforward. Consequently, the task at hand is to recognize the significance of each topic. At learntheta.com, our curriculum is really good. Many times, students have contacted us to say that they had questions that were directly related to what we had taught them.

Practice Questions for Revision-Needed Topics for CAT Quants

The proper application of concepts is crucial during the learning process, followed by practice to help you feel at ease with the subject. Start using the timer-based practice once you feel at ease with the topics. Giving a mock Quants test is the first step in determining the topics that need review. The subjects you struggle with become extremely obvious after two or three examinations. Now let's talk about how to study the subjects you struggle with. The exam alone would not be sufficient. After the exam, a thorough study should be conducted to determine whether a certain sum could not be solved because of a lack of understanding regarding the subject or is it because you forgot a relevant formula.

The only difference is that in our learntheta.com CAT Quant Classes, we strictly emphasize the proper application of concepts rather than learning new ones. learntheta.com We break down our quantitative sessions into 30% concept learning and 70% application. Later, we have you practice those concepts to help you feel more at ease.

How to Get Ready for Your Weakest Subjects

The learntheta.com classes address quantitative topics in great detail. However, if you want to work on it independently, it's best to tackle each issue separately. Keep a guidebook or your cheat sheet close by as you review the topics. Tests broken up by subject are required to determine proficiency.

Exam results and training

Initial scores in quants are supposed to be lower because that is when students are still learning. The accuracy and speed improve with continued practice. Regular quant practice is essential, and the learntheta.com Facebook group offers that practice. In quants, precision is typically a problem. Both simple and complex Quants questions have historically been included in the CAT exam. The paper would be a piece of cake as long as the fundamentals are solid.

Process Of CAT Mock Exams: Key To CAT Quant Strategy

·        Take A Mock Exam

·        Take A Mock Exam

·        Analyse Where You Struggled

·        Write Those Areas Down

·        Then Practise 30 To 50 Questions On It. 

·        Take A Topical Test Or A Sectional

·        Analyse Where You Struggled

·        Write Those Areas Down

·        Then Review Those Themes Again.

Repeat Mode On until 90% accuracy is achieved

In quants, accuracy is essential. If you attempt 15 questions in 40 minutes with 90% accuracy, you'll receive a score of 42+, which may be sufficient to achieve a quantile above 99%.

Taking the Quants Section Exam

The paper can be solved in a variety of ways. The typical approach is to scan the paper and identify the simple questions. Students frequently begin answering the first question and save the difficult or lengthy ones for last. Usually, after solving a VARC section and a notoriously challenging LRDI portion, people are exhausted when they reach this section. The goal is to address as many problems as possible, not to miss out on the easy ones.

Ask questions on the learntheta.com site if you have any during the solving process, and we will assist you.

Expert Advice: Since the questions submitted in groups are random and help you to some extent prepare for the CAT, solve as many of the questions posted in CAT Preparation - learntheta.com group or learntheta.com Paid group as you can. If you don't remark, at least try to solve it.

Your CAT Quant Strategy Should Include Doubt Clarifications

Getting all of your questions answered is the most crucial thing you can do for yourself. The issue with not getting your questions answered is that they pile up. When you realize this, there has already been a significant delay. No matter what time of day or night you ask your questions, learntheta.com is the best in doubt clarifications since we guarantee that they will be answered in 30 minutes or less.

The Quants of D-Day Paper

Both an easy and a hard quants component have historically been included in the CAT exam. The person who maintains composure to complete the final CAT question correctly succeeds. A scaled score of 72% on the CAT's 2017 quantitative section earned a student the 99%ile, whereas, in 2018, that same achievement required a score of less than 58%. because of learntheta.com The syllabus for the last CAT 2022 batch, which will begin this coming week, will be completed by October in terms of Concepts, Applications, and Practice, but Mocks will only begin in July. Although it is advised for those just starting to begin taking mock exams once 60% of your course has been completed. Finally, it is enhanced by the CAT Crash course where we work on speed, and shortcuts and revise everything in the last 2 months. 

[gobbluthbutagirl]

ok i’m looking at indeed rn and apparently a keto restaurant in la is hiring a pastry cook/baker...hmmmmmm

[maggyoutthere]

This "Everywhere At The End Of Time" thing has been showing up on my recommendations list on youtube. What even is this thing-

I mean it sounds neat. I'm like half an hour in and I like it :/ it's so nostalgic with the static and record scratches. I'm a sucker for ambient music and these sound neat

Edit:

Reached Stage 2

What is happening why is this triggering something in me. Like I can clearly tell something's wrong. You can still hear the music but the static and record scratches are louder.

I'm kinda scared though. As much as I love listening to music I can tell when something is just more than your typical summer hit or even mental health PSA. What is this-

Edit 2

K so apparently this is an album representing various stages of dementia. That's a tricky thing to do but I have faith in music. It's a great way to express stuff so I'm very curious to what this is gonna turn out like.

Edit 3

Idk if I like where this is going.

"I still feel as though I am me" broke me a little for some reason. Idk why but it just stood out differently to me. I am very very hesitant to jump some tracks to get to hear the other stages still today. Most of these tracks transmit the same idea but I didn't want to leave out anything.

Also no I hate rb stuff to make those threads. Have the consecutive edits of this thing.

Edit 4

STAGE 3 YOU CAN'T JUST CUT OFF LIKE THAT WHAT THE HELL-

Little heart attack I just had aside, I'm liking it so far. It's starting to get very uneasy but I think that's the point of it. Goodness gracious Stage 3 scared the absolute crap out of me. It cut just like that. So abruptly and caught me off guard. Not even a fade out, damn.

Edit 5

I had to skip some tracks from the second half of Stage 3 and

oh no

Edit 6

Reached Stage 4

I am having some very visceral reactions to this. It is incredibly unnerving but I want to keep listening to it so much. I love how it’s not even music anymore, it’s just... noise. Lots of different noises all crumbled up together, unified by some vely loud static.

Might have to skip some bits here because all Stage 4 songs are 30 min long each.

Edit 7

MOMS COME PICK ME UP OH FUCK OH GOD NO NO NO NO

I HATE IT HERE BUT I LOVE IT BUT AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It’s so hard to put down what this is doing. I’m not even sorry for rambling just take this post for what it is idfk if people are even reading this but holy fuck.

The 30 minute ones are killing me from the inside out. I’m very sensitive to audio and sounds (probably because of autism) and this is just pulling all the levers in my brain. It’s so- i have no idea what to call it. Sensory triggering?? I guess???

Edit 8

Stage 5.

Oh... god. 

Edit 9

Reached Stage 6

This has no description, both in the video and in my head. The sheer nothingness something so loud can transmit; the void where something should be but you can't remember what. Blessed were the minutes when I was still listening to the first track; there was music at least. Now there's just this emptiness, this absolutely deafening silence.

The worst is that you know exactly what's going on.

Edit 10

Listening to the last track: Stage 6 - Place in the World fades away

Everywhere At The End Of Time is a series exploring dementia, its advancement and its totality.

I cannot put to words what an absolute masterpiece this is. To tackle such a serious mental illness like this one is already an incredibly hard thing to do; to make art out of it is risky, to make it work is nothing short of a miracle.

The Caretaker (pseudonym of the composer) is an absolute master of his craft. To use something so carefully constructed as music and sound to make sense of something that makes someone not make sense is a challenge to say the least. How do you even go about it? In music there are bound to be rhythms and leitmotifs and patterns: there is bound to be organization.

This is where EATEOT absolutely excels in. I don't know if this could be called of music but I'll surely call it of art; the genius of these tracks are in their editing rather than in their composition. The first 2 stages are pretty much just songs with static noises and record scratches layered on top. It gets the message across: there is still memory, it's just blurry, washed out. It's there but it's hard to see.

From then on out, everything changes. Stage 3 keeps the background noise going, now repeating certain parts of the songs or even reverberating them. The memories themselves are starting to change, not just getting difficult to access. Stage 4 sees the absolute fear and horror of realizing such thing is happening. The grasping at anything in pure terror of forgetting everything. There is no such thing as music now. It's unnerving, it's uneasing, and rightfully so. This does not sugarcoat things and I personally like that.

Stage 5 hits us with a certain calmness after the storm. Things aren't better of course, they're just quieter. Memories are starting to dissapear completely and now there is mostly only the background noises.

Then comes Stage 6. It's desolated, it's deserted, it's nothing. It's gut wrenching. I'd like to touch on the last song because I particularly liked this one. "Place in the World fades away" is, in my opinion, divided into 2 parts. In the 1st half you have static and noise. There is nothing in there. The occasional crescendo almost scares you because of how hollow the mind seems to be at this point, but it leads nowhere. Then there's the 2nd half. You start to hear music. Actual music this time. A choir of voices, still echoing from somewhere else remind you of how it first started: with the music. It puts things into perspective and signals you towards the first of this 6-part series, how far we've come. Then, as if telling what must be told, the music fades away, leaving you with a whole minute of absolute silence. No static, no record scratches, literally a whole minute of dead silence.

I found myself continuously going back to this tumblr post and to the comment section of the video; I didn't want to feel like I was experiencing this alone, and I was glad to see people in the comment section helping eachother out, talking and venting, so that was heartwarming.

I know I'm not usually very serious about things but I wanted to try and do it for this absolute magnum opus. I like to critique stuff as much as the next guy, but to be able to analyze something like this is unique. If you want something to challenge you emotionally, something to make you think and reflect on things, this is an absolute must.

Tl;dr: Everywhere At The End Of Time is a haunting representation of dementia, both in its advancement and in its totality. It's really profound and definitely worth a try if you have some free hours.

[lightns881]

DTeam Tumblr Demographics Survey Results (Part 1):

The Gifted Child Syndrome is Real with this One...

*Rubs hands together in preparation for some juicy data and in-depth analysis of the typical member of the DTeam Tumblr community*

Ooooooooh boy! Here we go!

I want to start of by thanking you guys for over 400 responses to the demographics survey! Y’all have no idea how much I appreciate it! We have so much to cover, so I’m going to divide up different sections of the survey into several posts to make it more digestable and do justice to each topic explored in the form! We’re going to start of with, you guessed it, personality types!

Strap yourself in because we’re about to thoroughly dissect your sub-conscious innerworkings and find out how the typical DTeam Tumblr Fan thinks! (And judging by the majority personality types, you guys will probably enjoy it)

The Delicious Data

From the 449 responses we received, this is a pie chart displaying the personality types of all respondents.

Image Description: INFP (40.5%), INTP (15.1%), INFJ (8.9%), INTJ (8.9%), ISFP (6.9%), ENFP (4.2%), ISTP (4.0%), ENTP (3.8%), ESFP (1.6%), ISFJ (1.6%), ENTJ (1.3%), ENFJ (1.3%), ISTJ (1.1%), ESTP (0.4%), ESFJ (0.2%), ESTJ (0%)

In comparison, this is a pie chart displaying the personality type percentages of the population as a whole according to the MBTI website.

Image Description: ISTP (14%), ESFJ (12%), ISTJ (12%), ISFP (9%), ESTJ (9%), ESFP (8%) ENFP (8%), ISTP (5%), INFP (4%), ESTP (4%), INTP (3%), ENTP (3%), ENFJ (2%), INTJ (2%), ENTJ (2%), INFJ (1%)

I don’t know about you guys, but I’m sensing a tiny difference here... Oh, right!

INxx’s on the Loose!

It’s funny. When I first found one of the 18+ DTeam fan servers through Tumblr, I asked everyone what their personality type was. I was pleasantly surprised when a lot of them told me they were INFPs like me!

It actually reminded me of MatPat’s (Game Theory) survey for one of his Life Is Strange theories that found the majority personality there was also INFP...

Funny enough, can you guess what the second leading personality on that survey was? The third? The fourth?

You probably guessed it right. MatPat found that out of the fans who responded, the leading majority was INFP while INTPs came in second, INFJs came in third, and INTJs came in fourth. The exact order for the personality types in DTeam Tumblr.

But why is it that some of the rarer personalities of the world are dominating DTeam Tumblr or Game Theory’s fanbase? What is it about these communities that attract the rare introverted Intuitive Perceivers (INxP) and Intuitive Judgers (INxJ) of the world like magnets?

The Gifted Kid Syndrome

To answer this question, first we have to examine our leading personalities. As we can see from the data, INFPs and INTPs make up 55.6% and INFJs and INTJs make up 17.8% of the total respondents. That’s nearly 3/4′s of the DTeam Tumblr population made up of INxx types!

Now, here’s me calling y’all out.

A lot of you probably relate to the quiet kid sitting at the back of the classroom who’s put into some type of TAG, gifted program, or some authority figure has probably called you smart and/or “gifted” at some point in your life. Academics probably came easy to you at one point, maybe they still do.

You’ve probably felt your chest swell up at the shower of compliments about your intelligence and at another... you’ve probably felt like people put you in a pedestal and overrate you so you’re stuck with this inherent fear of failure, and it causes you to completely shut down when the things that came easy to you at one point no longer do so. 

It’s gifted kid syndrome hitting you like a brick to the face. And if it hasn’t yet, oh you’re in for a surprise, honey.

And I’m sure many of you have come across funny, relatable posts like this:

And you want to know why most of you relate?

Image Description: INTP, INTJ, INFP, anf INFJ’s rate the highest in a giftedness per MBTI Type chart

No. You’re not hallucinating. It’s not even a joke at this point. It feels true because it probably is true.

(Granted, the study that captured similar results to this graph is long lost to the internet, but the best source I found with it was a reddit post I will be citing in the reblog.)

Now, my next point is where we find a split.

INFPs and INTPs and their Need to Question Everything (even if it’s about one sentence [insert creator here] said that one time during a 4-hour long stream)

The strongest connection I found between the two leading personalities of DTeam Tumblr is they share Extraverted Intuiting (Ne) as their auxiliary cognitive function.

I’ll use a quote that explains Ne better than I could ever explain it in my own words:

“Extraverted intuition or Ne is very much focused on patterns and making connections from information they gather... Ne dominant users enjoy being able to explore things in a much more open manner, not wanting to feel closed off to the possibilities around them... They are also highly imaginative people, who enjoy being able to come up with unique hobbies and experiences... They are not afraid of imagining things which seem almost impossible to others... [For INFPs,] Ne is what creates this detailed and incredible thoughts process which keeps them busy for long periods of time.”

And another:

“Auxiliary Ne manifests in people constantly questioning the world around them, but unlike ENxPs, they can be more pick and choose about this. But generally, they don’t take people, things and events at face value.“

Now, think about the community you’re in right now. Think about the post you’re reading at the moment.

DTeam Tumblr is full of over-analysis posts, whether about Dream and George’s secret love for each other or about the inherent problems with Dream’s shipbait and gay jokes or theories about what’s going to happen next in the dream SMP lore and the dramatic betrayals and creator’s descend into madness and more theories about sexuality and charts depicting creator’s personalities and what they’d be likely to do in different scenarios and... ooof, I’m out of breath here. You get my point.

DTeam Tumblr is literally a group of ex-gifted or gifted introverted people who love to read or write analysis, theory, and discussion posts about sweaty Minecraft Youtubers because they’re probably too overwhelmed by real life and find joy in obsessing over “dumb” things.

That’s it. That’s literally the post. I might as well end there.

But I won’t. 

Because obsessions is exactly what I want to focus on next.

The Inherent Nature of the INFP and their “Micro-Obsessions”

This is me having a one-to-one conversation with all my INFPs reading this.

Do you sometimes just set your mind on a goal--like, let’s say, writing a book--and you spend so much time obsessing over it to the point where you burn out and suddenly it never sees the light of day because you move onto your next goal or obsession because now you’re getting ready to launch your freelance website so you can start a business on [insert new hobby here]?

Or do you just suddenly find a fandom or a show or a channel you really enjoy and you spend the next few months doing nothing but engaging with it and reading fanfiction and drawing fan art or making dumb analysis posts on your main Tumblr account where suddenly you get an influx of followers from that community and now people are expecting you to just post about MCYT!?

Oh, sorry, I got a little carried away at the end there...

Anyhow, my point is, do you ever develop an obsession over something all the sudden only for it to just disappear when you find something new or just fall into the deep crevices of your mind only for it to maybe reemerge a few years later after you get a deep sense of nostalgia remembering it?

I call them micro-obsessions. And I recently found out, I’m not the only one who does this!

Here’s another quote for you: 

“According to Carl Jung’s theory of cognitive functions, when an INFP makes a decision, Ne comes in second to another process known as Introverted Feeling (Fi). Fi does not use logic to make a decision. It uses how we feel about the decision according to our values. In other words, it asks, “Which choice feels right for me?”

Ne, on the other hand, craves new ideas and experiences to explore, which causes INFPs to always be on the lookout for something novel.

Unfortunately, INFPs can get stuck in a loop, going back and forth between their Ne and Fi. They search to understand their values by constantly trying new things. They ask themselves, “Does this feel right?” then throw it over their shoulder as they move on to something else.”

So, you’re probably asking right about now, Light, how the heck does any of this have anything to do with the Dream Team and MCYT!?

Well, my friend, it has EVERYTHING to do with the Dream Team and MCYT and DTeam Tumblr as a whole.

Because INxx’s are predisposed to end up in places like this--fandoms on Tumblr, channels that speculate whether Mario is evil, watching dramatic Minecraft smp wars and elections as opposed to looking at the news that depicts Murphy’s Law as 2020′s new favorite epigram. 

The introvert in them causes them to prefer socializing in small communities online where they’re not forced to engage in conversations if they don’t want to or put into uncomfortable situations where they have to talk to that one friend of their friend who wants to make meaningless small chat.

Their Intuition causes them to wonder into places like Tumblr where they can engage in deep discussions about their newest obsessions, and they won’t be judged for writing a 500+ word post about why Dream’s shipbait tactics are a genius algorithm strat or simping over sweaty Minecraft boys.

DTeam Tumblr is a safe haven for INFPs and INTPs who might be placed in the “other” category or marked as weird for being interested in “childish” entertainment or being different from the general population overall, whether that’d be sexuality, point of view, age, gender, etc. A place where you can fully be yourself and not have to worry about disappointing people.

INFPs are predisposed for drowning themselves in their micro-obsessions to avoid all of the madness in the world--even if that means giggling like a little girl while reading memes about your favorite Minecraft YouTube creators.

That is a deep-dive into the mind of a typical DTeam Tumblr user. What do you think? Is it accurate at all? Is it completely off? Let me know in the comments!

And with that, I digress. I’m not sure whether I’ll be covering general demographics next week or diving into the topic of ships (could be a mix of both), but I will be posting about it eventually, so make sure to hit the follow if you got to the end of this post and enjoyed it or learned something new from it!

Friendly reminder that this survey and post is in no way supposed to be taken 100% seriously. These are just the ramblings of a math major INFP with too much time on her hands and way too big of an obsession for MCYT. My asks are always open for literally anything, whether if you want to ask me about this or any DNF related subject, my own opinions, or just criticize the whole of this post and tell me it’s complete trash! I’ll answer as long as it’s appropriate!

And, again, thank you everyone who filled out the survey. Without y’all, this post wouldn’t be possible. I really enjoyed writing it! Adios!

[mymegumi]

aere perrenius

pairing: akaashi keiji x gn!reader

genre: fluff, strangers to lovers, writer!akaashi and librarian!reader

word count: 2.7k words

warnings: disgusting amounts of fluff

summary: more lasting than bronze. a once in a lifetime opportunity turns into a twice in a lifetime chance, and before you realize it, it just turns into a potential lifetime

dedicated: to miss issy ( @cafemiya ) kind beyond words, incredible beyond compare

You’d once thought that life was cruel to you, a single librarian that ended up helping children find picture books and nasty teenagers that had to pay their overdue library fees. You often just moved through the movements, walking to the library every single day, picking up coffees for everyone that worked with you that day, and nothing ever really changed.

Until today.

Today, when you walked into the coffee shop that was only a block away from the library—a small little out of the way place that served the best croissants with chocolate butter you’d ever had before—you were shocked to note that there was another singular figure in the shop with you.

Typically when you went in, it was early enough in the morning that you beat out the high schoolers and people who went to their 9-5 jobs, yet you always managed to miss the people who worked night shifts, so the barista often told you.

Today, however, there was a singular figure sitting at a table, laptop on the table with a small white mug of coffee in his hands, glasses perched precariously on the bridge of his nose as he seemed intent to read whatever it is was on his screen.

His hair was curling over thin golden frames, flowing over his forehead and spilling against his ears as he pressed his lips to the coffee mug, blue eyes focused on the words before him. The morning light had not yet seemed to crest the mountains of skyscrapers that littered the Japanese skyline, so the warm lights of the cafe seemed to soften the edges around him, making him angelic as he just relaxed there.

Perhaps it was the pure shock of seeing him, or even just the lack of sleep you always seemed to suffer from in the mornings following a weekend, but something led to your mistake of forgetting to conceal your admiration of him.

In your trance of adoration, you simply forget the cafe has a bell over the door.

He glances his up when he finishes taking a sip from his drink, offering a smile your way in the way that two people up way too early would share a smile with each other—as if only the two of you knew the secrets that the sunrise would whisper if only you would wake early enough to listen.

“Your usual?”

The barista, a sweet girl named Akira who seemed to be pumped full of espresso for she was way too peppy for this time of the hour, draws your attention away from the man sitting by himself at the window table.

“To go, right?” When you shake your head, she laughs slightly, inputting your usual order into the computer just for her to end up making it only a few seconds later, “What’s with the change today, you always take it straight to the library.”

When she sees you steal a glance at the mysterious stranger, she leans in with a hand cupped around her mouth, devastatingly wicked glint in her eyes as she whispers to you, “He came in a couple of minutes of go, saying he’s new in town. A writer, if you could believe it. Maybe you could warm him up to the area?”

“I have to go to work soon,” you hiss back softly, feeling the warmth take over your cheeks as you resolutely refuse to look back at him in case he heard her gossiping.

“Yet, you’re taking your coffee here?”

She, unfortunately, raises her eyebrows suggestively at you as she slides your drink to you in a small white mug resting on a dish, steaming and hot with a less heated croissant on a separate dish. You make a noise of disbelief as you carefully adjust your bag on your shoulder, taking your breakfast with you to a seat, not too close to the writer and yet not too far away that you are unable to admire him.

Pulling out a book from your bag, you are content to just read and settle in for a few minutes that you would normally spend in the library doing random work until the doors unlocked. It’s a newer novel you’d just picked up from a bookstore, and it was only because the author would be visiting the library soon, so you wanted to get a feel for the writing style, in case there were any questions that the people had for the staff.

“A good read, is it?”

You don’t really register that anyone is talking to you, at first, instead intent on just reading In Regards to Aces before it clicks in your mind two facts; one, that you are indeed holding a book and reading, and two, that you are only one of three people in the establishment, not to mention one of the three was just a barista making herself a coffee.

When it hits you that the stupidly attractive man at the window is indeed talking to you, you shove a bookmark in the spot you were reading as you turn to him, “Ah, yeah, it is, though I don’t have much to say on it considering I just started reading it.”

“Initial thoughts, then?” His smile soothes you a bit, making you relax from the initial tension you’d felt, “I’ve found the author tends to use verbiage that rambles on, but that’s my own opinion on it.”

“Well, from what I have read so far,” you set the book on the table, star embellished cover twinkling in the lights of the cafe, “I like the way that the author describes the character’s feelings—it felt really authentic, and added to the atmosphere for the story.”

“Well, just wait until you read the ending,” he raises an eyebrow at you and a playful look comes across his face for a second before disappearing, “it’s a real gutwrencher, honestly, I’m surprised the author had decided to take it in that direction.”

“Well, hopefully I’ll be able to read a good part of it before the end of the day,” you muse, hand running idly along the edges of the pages, “I’m hoping to be able to talk to the author during the meet and greet later today at the library.”

He makes a thoughtful noise, a small content smile on his face as he sets his mug down on the saucer. There’s a look in his eyes, something that says that he knows something that you don’t, and yet when you go to ask about it, he says instead, “Tell me what you think of it when you finish it, I’d love to hear your thoughts on it.”

You watch as he begins to pack up his things, tucking the laptop away into a sleek black backpack, all while sipping gingerly on your drink, “Of course, perhaps I’ll see you again, I’m usually here before work.”

“I look forward to it.”

He shoots you a smile over his shoulder as he leaves the cafe, throwing away his things and setting aside his dishes before he exits. Watching him walk down the street, you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding.

“Gosh,” Akira’s voice makes you jump in your seat slightly, “he was really pretty; you think he was a model?”

“I don’t know, but he could be if he wanted to be,” you smile to yourself as you check your phone, swearing as you realize you might be a few minutes late, “I gotta get to work, I’ll see you tomorrow morning!”

Chugging the rest of your drink, of which has cooled significantly, you end up rushing out of the door of the coffee shop, leaving a good tip for Akira before you go.

A meet-cute. Is that what that would’ve been considered?

Walking into the library, you have a dopey smile on your lips, and the meeting from the morning lets you float your way through work as if your feet haven’t touched the ground.

The writer meet and greet wasn’t for another few hours so when you were putting books back on the shelves, and when the flow of people tended to slow down, your nose was tucked gently into the pages of the book you’d picked up.

It was wonderfully written, with words that seemed to suck you in and captivate you, unable to truly pay attention to what you needed to be doing. You were so ecstatic to be meeting the author, to be able to see what sort of person they’d turned out to be.

They had been pretty secretive, declining interviews left and right and no one has been able to figure out who they were. No one really knew if Akaashi Keiji was their real name, or just a pen name either, a ghost writer who wanted to leave their mark on the world without claiming any credit for the impression they’d leave behind.

Truth be told, it was something you admired in them.

There was something special about someone wanting to create something, and yet walking about their daily life knowing that not a single person would recognize them for it. They weren’t doing it for fame, or for money, but because they truly enjoyed writing and creating books for people to enjoy.

“If you keep yourself in that book, you’ll never get these shelves done,” shit, you’d thought you tucked yourself far enough into the autobiography section that your coworker, Kaori, wouldn’t be able to find you, “what book is it this time?”

“In Regards to Aces…”

She raises an eyebrow at you, glancing at the big poster of the book’s cover displayed only a few feet away from the pair of you, “Uh-huh, gonna suck up to the writer? Get you a rich, anonymous sugar daddy?”

“Pft,” you smile at her with a crooked grin, “let’s be inclusive here, we don’t know if they identify as a guy, Kaori.”

She shrugs a shoulder at you as you begin to push the cart filled with returned books into the aisle, making your way to the front of the library, “Actually, Akaashi and I went to high school together. When he got famous, everyone at our school, like, made a silent pact to respect his privacy.”

“You know the Akaashi Keiji?” You give her an incredulous look, feet planting firmly in front of the help desk of the library, “As in, coming to our library, has won multiple National Book Awards in a row for their novels Akaashi Keiji?”

“Yeah,” she picks something off of her shirt with a sour look on her face, “I’m pretty sure Bokuto threatened a guy that said he’d leak Akaashi’s school name, but it might’ve been the whole group of them, honestly.”

“Bokuto…” you look at her with a bewildered look in your eyes, “Bokuto Koutarou, MSBY wing spiker, Bokuto?”

“Yeah,” she smiles brightly at you, which you quickly erase with a hand smacking her firmly in the arm, “Oh my god, what was that for?!”

“For not telling me you were surrounded by future celebrities in high school?!”

“Oh, as if there isn’t one person from your school that got famous,” Kaori levels a glare at you as she rubs her arm.

The pair of you are sitting at the reception area now at the front of the library, watching people flow into the seating area set up for the meet and greet. A copy of the book’s cover is set up next to the author’s seat, which is on a small raised platform behind a small red barrier.

“I’m pretty sure a kid in the grade above me moved to Argentina?” She laughs at your answer, a hand over her mouth as someone steps up to the desk, taking both of your attention away from the conversation, “Hey, how can we help yo— oh! Hi, again, how are you?”

Standing before you, straps of his backpack slipping off of his shoulders and glasses sliding down the bridge of his nose. There’s a little bit of a smile on his lips as he sighs, “Oh. Hello, I’m good. I rushed here because I was worried about being late—Kaori?”

“Akaashi,” she smiles at him, hand reaching out to shake his hand easily as you stare at the both of them flabbergasted, “Didn’t you get my text earlier about you coming to the library?”

“No, I was busy with the moving vans,” he turns his gaze on you and you swear your mouth dries up a little bit, “After I got a cup of coffee, I was arguing with the movers about a van of stuff that got lost. Turns out they were on the wrong side of town.”

“You mean to tell me,” you interrupt, hand coming up to stop Kaori from speaking, eyes trained on the wavy-haired man in front of you, “that you asked for my opinion on your book? Your own book?”

He gives a cheeky grin, teeth showing as he raises an eyebrow, “It’s easier to hear honest opinions if people don’t know I’m the author.”

You roll your eyes at him before he turns back to Kaori for a quick second, “Kaori, would you mind getting me some water, oh and maybe even a snack?”

She nods easily, hair swishing lightly as she pats you on the back and leaves, “‘Course, meet you up on the stage, bigshot.”

When she leaves, there’s a bit of an awkward silence, something like you don’t know what to say, and yet you know if you were to say anything, something might change. It’s only a feeling, but you suddenly want to spend as much time with this man as possible.

Now in the late afternoon light, you study him in a way you didn’t get to before. The warm sunlight that filters in through the windows makes his hair seem a bit light, but still just as unruly as it was this morning. His eyes are inquisitive, sharp in a way that observes and analyzes all within a moment’s notice.

There are patches of red and blue light dancing along his shoulders, refractions from the sun through the stained glass windows. His shirt is a little wrinkled but otherwise neat, one of the sides untucked as his loose tie hangs from around his neck.

He’s even prettier in the daylight, you decide.

“I’m sorry lied to you this morning,” his voice drops a little bit, inflection careful as he looks at you, “I promise I won’t lie to you anymore, if that means anything.”

“Well, if I catch wind of you lying,” you start, sidestepping the swinging door of the counter to start walking towards the stage area, “I’ll make your life a living nightmare, I know where you get your coffee, sir.”

“Oh, not the coffee,” He holds his hands up in surrender, “I loved their dark roast, where else in the town am I supposed to get it?”

“That, mister, sounds like a you problem,” you want to see him smile more, is the first thing you think when he laughs, “but only if you get on my bad side.”

“Do you think going out for dinner sometime might put me on your good side?”

There are moments in life that can shatter and alter the way that you think and perceive things for the future. For instance, that one time a teacher had given you a recommendation on a book had jumpstarted your love of reading which had turned into a job with lovely friends. If not for that one teacher, who knew where you would be now, because life is funny and doesn’t work out the way you think it will when things aren’t set exactly in motion.

This is one of those moments, and you know it is, because as he asks you out on, assumably, on a date, you envision a life for yourself.

A life filled with moments and snapshots with Akaashi Keiji at your side. He kisses your cheek one morning as you both make coffee for each other, his hand is warm on the small of your back as he leads you through the grocery store, and his voice is loving as he whispers to you at night before you fall asleep.

Now, you’ve always been somewhat a romantic, but you think this is the first time you’ve ever envisioned a life like this upon a second meeting. As Akaashi waits for your response, face neutral but content, you smile to yourself.

“Yeah,” you respond, leaning close to bump your shoulder against his gently, “I think getting dinner might boost your standings with me.”

[renegadewangs]

Van Zieks - the Examination, part 11

Warnings: SPOILERS for The Great Ace Attorney: Chronicles. Additional warning for racist sentiments uttered by fictional characters (and screencaps to show these sentiments).

Disclaimer: (see Part 1 for the more detailed disclaimer.) - These posts are not meant to be taken as fact. Everything I’m outlining stems from my own views and experiences. If you believe that I’ve missed or misinterpreted something, please let me know so I can edit the post accordingly. -The purpose of these posts is an analysis, nothing more. Please do not come into these posts expecting me to either defend Barok van Zieks from haters, nor expecting me to encourage the hatred. - I’m using the Western release of The Great Ace Attorney Chronicles for these posts, but may refer to the original Japanese dialogue of Dai Gyakuten Saiban if needed to compare what’s said. This also means I’m using the localized names and localized romanization of the names to stay consistent. -It doesn’t matter one bit to me whether you like Barok van Zieks or dislike him. However, I will ask that everyone who comments refrains from attacking real, actual people.

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4 Part 5 Part 6 Part 7 Part 8 Part 9 Part 10

Bring on the game's credits! BRING IT! The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo part 2 is here!

Episode 2-5: The Resolve of Ryunosuke Naruhodo, part 2

This is the first time in a while that I actually want to try other options to see what happens. The 'accusation' leads to some witty banter with a frustrated Stronghart, but 'report' is one that gets a reaction from Van Zieks himself. Ryu theorizes that 'since Klint was a well-bred and fastidious man, and knowing the end was near, he might have wanted to tie up some loose ends in all of his outstanding business'. Van Zieks immediately replies that his brother had no outstanding business.

DID I JUST GET PENALIZED BY THE DEFENDANT??? Just for implying his brother might've had some loose ends to tie up? Van Zieks really hates it when people show his brother even the slightest bit of disrespect, huh? Well, it's about to get a whole lot worse. Let's go for the confession option! Van Zieks definitely doesn't take kindly to this one.

“What are you saying? Do you even realise?! A confession...about the true identity of the Professor... That, that would mean...”

He fumbled his speech, there. We've never heard him do that before. And he's gone back to that bobbing, unsteady animation halfway into the above dialogue. Ryu insists it's the only explanation that fits. The man who murdered those members of the aristocracy wasn't Genshin Asogi at all, it was the one believed to be the fifth victim, Klint van Zieks himself.

Welp. We broke him. Stronghart remarks that Pandora's box has opened at last, making it clear he already knew what we just revealed. The gallery is outraged.

We've gone from well-bred to thoroughbred, have we? Susato feels very bad for Van Zieks, but Ryu asks himself whether such a brilliant prosecutor never suspected “what his older brother really was”. To clear up doubt further, he asks whether Klint Van Zieks owned a dog. Barok doesn't intend to dodge the facts of the situation, it seems.

Not what the concept art says, but it's possible Klint owned a different, smaller dog before Balmung. Van Zieks talks about how loyal the dog was and how it wore a jewel-studded collar which was stolen from the house “some years ago now”. This implies it was less than ten years ago, and must've been kept in the house as a keepsake even after Balmung passed away. Ryu and Susato bring up that they've seen such a collar; it was Selden's loot in case 2-2. They note the fancy B emblem on it, and this is the first time we find out that Klint van Zieks was a married man. His widow's maiden name was Baskerville. It's a little odd to me that for someone who thought so highly of his brother, Van Zieks never mentioned his sister in law before now. Conveniently, it never came up for the sake of a twist, I suppose. Either way, the emblem confirms the collar they saw was Balmung's. Ryu notes there was a considerable amount of blood on the collar (nobody washed this thing?) and while it could've come from typical hunting trips, it could just as well have been human blood. With that, the gallery begins to lean towards the truth that Klint van Zieks really was the Professor himself. Stronghart seems to have realized there's no way out of this now and announces that 'they may have the truth'.

Here comes that 'true nature' thing again, just worded a bit differently. Van Zieks doesn't intend to shirk away from it, though. He's open to the insinuation that his brother was, in truth, something truly horrible. Stronghart explains that Klint attempted to fight the growing darkness in London, only to end up being consumed by it. He also admits that after the fourth victim fell, Genshin showed up at his office, putting forth the accusation that Klint was the Professor. He didn't have any evidence and needed a warrant to get some, but Stronghart refused to anger the aristocracy based on the accusation of a visiting student, so he sent Genshin away. As a result, the man headed over to the Van Zieks mansion and Klint perished. Stronghart continues to admit that he was responsible for pinning the Professor's crimes on Genshin, right down to ordering Gregson to fabricate evidence. Sure enough, the late inspector's earlier claims ring true: it seems he did genuinely believe Genshin to be the killer, but was reluctant to falsify anything until Stronghart strong-armed him into it. The jailbreak agreement was also part of Stronghart's plan; he manipulated Genshin into agreeing by proverbially dangling his 14 year old son in front of him. Van Zieks brings up one more point: that Stronghart was the mastermind behind the Reaper organization. Not only does he admit to it, he calls it a “brilliant idea” and even takes credit for how his “minions” worked tirelessly to ensure Van Zieks was never accused of being the Reaper himself. What a smarmy bumhole. He insists it was all for the preservation of law and order across the empire, and the gallery is actually suckered into falling for this ploy. It seems as if he's going to get away with his masterminding without decent consequences. Kazuma now has one more question for Van Zieks, and it's the exact one Ryu asked himself earlier; did he never have any doubts about his brother?

“My brother's sense of justice was extremely strong. Perhaps...too strong, I observed. […] During the time of the Professor killings, my brother did not appear to be himself. But it was only once. Not more. Klint wasn't the culprit. That was my conclusion at the time. And I still believe that now. […] The third victim...was the Lord Chief Justice at the time. It was he who had recognized my brother's potential and trained him as a prosecutor. No matter what the circumstances, it's unthinkable that my brother could have killed his friend and mentor!”

So here, we learn that Klint wasn't an infallible paragon of virtue in his brother's eyes. Simply by saying that his sense of justice was “perhaps too strong”, a flaw is being brought to light. Younger Barok saw that Klint's need to ensure justice was overpowering him, and he also saw that during the time of the killings, something was off about his behavior. Enough to have the younger Van Zieks consider, for a brief time, that perhaps the Professor was him. However, the death of the third victim was like a lifeline to him, a flotation device keep him from going under- or perhaps more like a straw to grasp. It offered a sort of justification to him; a firm belief that Klint would never kill his own mentor and therefore he couldn't possibly be the Professor, and Barok was wrong to ever doubt him. However, it was just a very meager excuse to put his suspicions at ease and blind him to the truth. There are, after all, plenty of reasons why Klint would kill that Lord Chief Justice if indeed he were the Professor.

So Stronghart now tries to wrap everything up with a neat little bow, saying that's all the truth they'll be able to get from this trial and he'll present himself at the Ministry of Justice for whatever sanctions are deemed necessary. Since he's the Lord Chief Justice, I can't imagine the Ministry of Justice will give him more than a slap on the wrist. However, he says just a bit too much in his closing statement and Ryu jumps on that immediately. A third page of Genshin's will was hidden from everyone! Turns out, it was a personal message to Kazuma that they never bothered to send to Japan. Governor Caidin conveniently brought it with him and the contents are read aloud after some pressuring. With this last secret message left behind by Genshin, Ryu manages to find Klint's last will and testament hidden inside the Asogi clan's sword. GASP.

Oblivious to the shenanigans playing out in the Court Record section of the game, Stronghart once again tries to end the trial and even goes so far as to say Klint was basically insane when he took his mentor's life (to which Van Zieks objects fiercely). Ryu interjects, saying he has one more piece of evidence to present. When Stronghart calls the very notion absurd, Van Zieks once again raises an objection, pointing out that “this gentleman has an uncanny habit of producing evidence at the final hour that had escaped everyone else's attention.” Which, y'know, is true. That's how Ace Attorney works. I do want to draw attention to the fact that he said “this gentleman” as opposed to “this Nipponese” or even something like “this barrister”. He considers Ryu a gentleman now! So with that, Ryu has the opportunity to shove Klint's will in everyone's face and things escalate very quickly.

Ooh, his speech faltered again. He is shook! And it gets even better when he gets a closer look at the document.

Stronghart panics and demands Ryu hands the document over to him at once. When that fails, he even tries to forcibly adjourn the trial and get everyone to clear the courtroom. If that isn't suspicious, we don't know what is. It sure is satisfying to watch him squirm. Naturally, he can't actually put an end to the trial now- not with so many people watching, so the document is read aloud. It's revealed that Genshin challenged Klint to a duel, so that he might “depart this world with honor”. Klint goes on to write that he finds himself undeserving of this honor and that “the Japanese are a truly merciful people”. So here, already, we get the final nail in the coffin for Van Zieks's entire motivation for racial prejudice and for hating Genshin in particular. Klint never thought ill of Genshin, not even in his final moments. If anything, he was grateful for being put out of his misery and being allowed to 'depart the world with honor'. Genshin's actions were not betrayal; not ever. They were merciful. (COOL MOTIVE, STILL MURDER.) What we also learn is that while Klint did indeed take the life of the first victim on his own accord, he was then immediately identified as the culprit and blackmailed into the next three killings by someone else. You guessed it, it was Stronghart! Despite his earlier panic, he now has a myriad of justification ready, talking about how sacrifices have to be made for the sake of justice and whatnot. He also explains that he was the one who pressured Jigoku into shooting Genshin in the graveyard when Drebber showed up there. He acts like Jigoku is the only one to blame, but considering Stronghart was basically screaming in Jigoku's ear, I wouldn't be surprised if this poor man pulled the trigger by accident simply because he was startled by the shouting. Stronghart was the one who decided that Genshin needed to die and forced Jigoku to act, so Stronghart is the one ultimately responsible. Naturally, Ryu and Kazuma both attempt to argue Stronghart's justifications into the ground. At one point, Stronghart plays the victim card and asks them to acknowledge his 'struggle', but Kazuma insists that this jerk has done nothing and:

WELL. Okay. Looks like we've finally convinced Kazuma that Van Zieks is a victim in this whole ordeal, as well as someone who 'acts justly'. That's a wonderful way forward. With all this out in the open, though, Stronghart offers a literal round of applause. It's true; he's “done nothing” and “merely been surrounded by fools who've acted very rashly indeed”, which means he can't be charged with any crimes. We can't even prove he threatened anyone into doing his bidding, as he says it might as well have been “bargaining”. Thing is, bargaining with someone to end a third party's life is known as “contract killing” and is, in fact, illegal. I can't find any sources to verify whether it was already illegal in 1900 England, but I can only assume so, or people would've gotten away with murders very easily. I guess the bottom line here is that we can't prove Stronghart really did extort or pay anyone to take a life, since there's no material evidence for that sort of thing, nor anyone who can testify on it. Stronghart claims that the minutes of the trial will be heavily redacted to remove matters not related to Gregson's death, in the interest of preserving law and order, as well as to protect the queen. The gallery has now turned against us as well, chanting Stronghart's name.

Here we have a singular opportunity to deviate into the closest thing to a bad ending this game series has. Anyone who remembers the iconic 'the miracle never happen' ending in AA2, or even the bad endings in AA5 where either Trucy or Athena is implied to be killed by Aura, will be sorely disappointed by this one. First, to compare... In the standard ending, no matter how far along you've gotten in the trial- including proving that Stronghart was the Reaper- Van Zieks will still be found guilty. Stronghart will utter the words that he “would like to think however misguided, [Van Zieks] acted out of a sense of justice nonetheless”, and then pronounces the poor man guilty of crimes we've already proven were never committed by him. Now, in this slightly different ending, if you run out of all your penalty points because you fail to present Harely, the dialogue is tweaked. Stronghart declares that for the sake of justice, “the only correct course of action has been unanimously acknowledged by the clear majority here present. All mention of that which has been discussed in this courtroom today will be struck from the records. Barok van Zieks – Or should I say, Reaper of the Bailey... The heinous crimes committed by your brother, Klint van Zieks, will be lost in obscurity, this time forever. May you also find peace now as you join your sibling in the eternal darkness.”

And then, just as in the standard ending, Van Zieks is pronounced guilty and the doors slam shut. So effectively, the only real difference here is that Stronghart really rubs it in our faces that Van Zieks is taking the fall as the Reaper in the eyes of the public. He knows Van Zieks isn't the Reaper- everyone present in the courtroom knows it. However, since the entirely gallery is siding with the real mastermind, the minutes of the trial will be confiscated and destroyed so that the truth will be lost forever. Neither Kazuma nor Ryu reacts to this turn of events on-screen, which is a shame. Van Zieks doesn't fight the adjudication either, he simply accepts the verdict in silence- Hang on, where have we heard that before? Genshin? And didn't Van Zieks say that so long as his death served a purpose, he wouldn't mind dying over being called the Reaper? Stronghart certainly seems to feel that Van Zieks ought to be thrown under the omnibus and sent to the gallows for the sake of minimizing crime in London.

But we're not going to let the true antagonist of this game get away with his bullshit! Time to pull Harely's ears! Cue another (S)Holmeus Ex-Machina where it turns out the entire secret trial has been livestreamed to the Queen of England through holograms. By royal decree, Stronghart is stripped of his title and will be prosecuted for his crimes at a later time. FINAL BOSS, DEFEATED.

With Stronghart out of the way, Van Zieks has some closing sentiments to offer.

“Is that my brother left this world without a word to me.”

I can see why that might bug him. Van Zieks always looked up to his brother and shielded him from disrespect even a decade after his death, but Klint in turn didn't seem to want to leave any parting sentiments for him, not even a simple farewell. That's not the case, though! Susato points out there's actually more to Klint's will than was read aloud, so let's hear it now.

“Barok, you have always looked up to me, and now, you follow in my footsteps to become a prosecutor. It is my fervent wish that my unspeakable deeds should not hinder your advancement. I ask not for understanding, for none could understand my depravity. I ask only for forgiveness. Asogi is a fine detective, and a hunter worthy of respect. He has agreed to honour my final two wishes. The first is that this document survives. The second... I cannot commit to paper. I have confessed my sins to my wife. May she find resolution in my death. With my eternal gratitude to my Japanese friend, I rest my quill.”

Imagine how different things would've ended if the will had found its way to Van Zieks shortly after Klint's death. It would've prevented so much grief and so much prejudice, because if Van Zieks had learned that Klint still regarded Genshin with so much respect and gratitude even in this situation, he would never have blamed him for Klint's death nor considered it too great a betrayal. Everything that happened was in line with Klint's wishes. As it stands now, the words in Klint's will basically serve to scold Van Zieks for his attitude and hatred these past ten years.

Yep, there we go. The final straw. He's been truly, utterly embarrassed and made to confront his mistakes. When Stronghart explains how his ambition to become Attorney General is what prompted him to silence people like Watson and Gregson. Van Zieks asks him whether he ever bothered to count the number of brilliant people he had killed. Kind of a questionable remark, since Stronghart mostly had criminals killed. We don't even know for sure whether Watson was a good person or not; he comes across as a cowardly skeeve. I guess Van Zieks is mostly talking about Genshin, but even that is... Uh...

I received an Ask a while back, bringing up the matter that Genshin appears to be exonerated of any wrongdoing when the truth of Klint's death is revealed. That despite duels being outlawed and it being literal murder, Kazuma seems to take this truth as his father's name being cleared. Indeed, going over everything we've learned so far, it feels as if the narrative has set up both Klint and Genshin, and even characters like Jigoku and Gregson, as victims of Stronghart's manipulation. The thing is, though... Both Genshin and Klint took at least one life of their own free will, Jigoku pulled a trigger twice for the sake of his own career (and recruited someone into an assassin plot), Gregson conspired with a notorious assassin to commit over a dozen murders just because his boss told him it was the right thing to do... Feeling bad about murder or resorting to it because 'the other person is even worse and needs to be stopped' doesn't change that it's murder. It doesn't seem as if Kazuma or anyone else outright says their loved ones are absolved of any responsibility/their names are cleared, but it does really come across as if the narrative wants you to forgive them. So uh... Yes. This is something the game should have properly addressed, instead of just going 'oh, these poor people, all used as puppets by the final boss'.

Anyway, (S)Holmes takes the time to remind Van Zieks that he's the defendant in this case, not the prosecutor. Our old friend Santa Judge returns for the adjudication! Turns out, he was in the gallery all along. (Was he chanting Stronghart's name too?) He talks about how the darkness of the past ten years has lifted, in part thanks to a bright young star from the East. Awww, we've completely won over the judge! Van Zieks now also has something to add.

“I had the faintest of intimations. That if British justice, so warped and twisted over its long history, was finally to know change... This might just be the man to do it. But at the time, I wouldn't allow myself to acknowledge the possibility. I couldn't overcome my hatred of the Japanese, after the circumstances of my brother's death. Mr. Naruhodo...”

He takes a flourishing bow here, an acknowledgment that Ryu is worthy of his respect and perhaps even that Ryu is superior to him, then stands up straight again for the final whammy.

Ryu is shocked and Susato is brought to tears. We did it, y'all. We've secured the full, heartfelt apology. I'm not sure there's really anything to add to this, nor anything we could want from it at this point in time. Ryu doesn't say he forgives Van Zieks for his discourtesies, but considering how hard he worked to get this guy cleared of murder, that would feel kind of out of place. The forgiveness happened long before Van Zieks apologized, or so is the implication. (Is that the correct narrative path? Not at all, but I'll get back to that in the conclusion.) So after some more closing words from Ryu, Van Zieks gets his not-guilty verdict and court is adjourned.

In the defendant's lobby, Ryu feels a bit conflicted about how this whole thing went down. Susato tries to cheer him up by saying that everything will seem much better once he sees Van Zieks's smiling face. Indeed, in most other Ace Attorney games, this would be the point where at last, an emotionally distant defendant/witness drops their walls and allows themselves to smile (or cry). Just think of Gina, Lana Skye or even Athena Cykes when she cries tears of joy during AA5's ending. Hilariously enough, Van Zieks is not one of those characters.

This is a really fun subversion of expectations and Ace Attorney tropes. And I still believe his face got frozen like that. Even so, he's got something heartfelt to say.

“For you to have risen to the level of excellence you demonstrated today... Well, it's quite remarkable.”

Sounds like a hatchet job of a compliment at first glance, but the sentiment is there. It is extremely remarkable for a foreign exchange student who's only been in the country for about 9 months- and who only spent like 2 of those as an active lawyer- to rise to such a level that he not only uncovers the truth of the current case, but of a cold case from 10 years prior, which was part of a huge cover-up. Ryu points out that he exposed a most 'unpalatable truth' in court and that he feels as if he robbed Van Zieks of something precious. Van Zieks doesn't seem to agree. He reminisces on Stronghart's words.

“But that... That was just the feeble excuse of a coward. Only those with a steadfast eye for the truth have what it takes to fight the dark forces of crime. You made fine work of establishing that fact in court today.”

So once again, he's complimenting Ryu's courtroom performance. Not only that, but he's acknowledging (in different words) the earlier sentiment that the truth needs to come out, no matter how painful. Perhaps, indirectly, he's calling himself a feeble coward as well. Ryu and Susato are proud of Van Zieks's growth, with Susato saying that surely Kazuma would be smiling if he were here. Naturally, when he shows up at that very second, he isn't smiling at all. Like mentor, like disciple! Kazuma takes a polite bow before Van Zieks and congratulates him on his acquittal. Naturally, after watching Kazuma prosecute so ferociously for two whole episodes, that doesn't feel sincere. Van Zieks asks him whether he doesn't instead want to curse him. Kazuma apologizes for his earlier behavior, which does feel 100% sincere.

“Your father, Genshin... If I had been stronger, then perhaps... I made an unforgivable error of judgment. … I can offer no excuse.”

One more apology to add to the pile! And here we once again reach that question of whether the narrative is acting like Genshin should be absolved of all blame. In a technical sense, Van Zieks wasn't wrong to prosecute Genshin, since he did seriously murder Klint. That alone is already warranting of the death penalty, so the added crimes of the Professor on top of that don't change too much. However, I don't think Van Zieks's lines truly relate to the Professor trial itself. The error of judgment, in my eyes, can also be seen as the blind acceptance that Genshin betrayed him (as well as Klint) when there was actually far more at play. This notion that Genshin was a horrid traitor who abused their trust and hospitality was then allowed to grow into an irrational hatred which festered for a decade. Regardless of whether Genshin killed Klint, the insistence that the man's true nature was that of a monster was wrong, and I think that's what he's apologizing for. To be clear, he's not apologizing for racist sentiments uttered towards Kazuma or anyone else from Japan with these lines. This purely relates to his treatment of Genshin. However, he already apologized for his many discourtesies back in the courtroom and I think the racist outbursts were part of those discourtesies.

Kazuma says he can offer no forgiveness, which is totally fair. Kazuma isn't obligated to forgive this man. He does, however, admit that he has respect for Van Zieks, since he “fought for justice and the truth”.

Awww! Remember how in my very first 'strong thought about Barok' post, I pointed out that Barok almost appears to have been designed to be Kazuma's rival prosecutor instead of Ryu's? Yeah. Here we see it very clearly. The reconciliation conversation between these two feels like a much better resolution than the conversation between Van Zieks and Ryu.

So now Kazuma brings up that Genshin promised to do two things for Klint, but the second wasn't mentioned in the will. Mikotoba shows up to share a very heartbreaking tale about Klint's unnamed widow, the lady Zieks-Baskerville, who was hiding out in Dartmoor and passed away from childbirth very shortly after Genshin was executed. The newborn baby girl survived, though! Van Zieks blurts out that that makes no sense. “Why on Earth wouldn't Klint have entrusted the child to my care in that case?!” And that alone is already kind of tragic, but what really packs a wallop is this:

This means Klint and his wife deliberately kept the pregnancy from him. It's never explained why. Genshin showed up at the manor in the spur of the moment and Klint died that very same night, when his wife must've already been around 8 or 9 months pregnant. (she gives birth about a week or two later, after all.) Klint says that he 'confessed his sins to his wife', but that also must've been very recent, if not that very same night, since Stronghart was threatening to tell Klint's wife and brother of his misdeeds. Stronghart's hold on Klint would've weakened if he'd told her the truth months ago, which in turn implies the both of them decided not to tell Barok while she herself was still oblivious to the Professor truth. Honestly, it all feels like a vague plotconvenience.

What is explained is why the newborn baby wasn't entrusted to Van Zieks. It isn't because Klint had the amazing foresight to know his younger brother would become a salty, loner alcoholic; it's because he and his wife feared the truth of the Professor might come out. Heck, if Genshin had never been arrested for Klint's death, perhaps it would've come out for certain. “The girl would be forever branded as the daughter of the infamous mass murderer.” So the baby girl was distanced from the Van Zieks family as much as possible, with all of London unaware of her existence. This girl is, of course, Iris.

Right on cue, the Harely plushie activates to receive a call from (S)Holmes and Iris. She invites everyone over to 221B for a feast and makes sure to invite “Mr. Reaper” too. He very awkwardly declines the offer.

Humanization? Humanization! He does, however, give Iris his word that he'll present himself at 221B in the near future to express his gratitude. I think a big part of why he declined the offer was because he wouldn't feel at home during the big celebration when a whole group of people is there. He'd much rather visit Iris during a more quiet, private moment and that's sweet too. Plus, I don't think he's in the mood for a celebration, considering all the horrible truths he's learned in a single day.

So now Kazuma prepares to leave and asks Van Zieks to accompany him. The wording of “would you care to-” makes it very clear this isn't a demand, it's a very soft request that Van Zieks is free to decline. Not that he hesitates for even a second. Here's some more parting words.

“I believe... You saved my life.”

He takes a deep, flourishing bow and honestly I've lost track of how many times he's praised/thanked Ryu by now. More than Edgeworth thanked Phoenix, most likely. The prosecutor duo prepares to walk away, but Ryu calls after Van Zieks, asking him to wait. Which he does. Ryu asks him what he intends to do now.

... “Prosecutor van Zieks chooses death”??? In a way, he's thinking of pulling a similar move. He intends to publicize the full truth of the Professor, and I can only imagine that includes Stronghart's involvement in what went down 10 years ago. Maybe he'll even share the truth of the Reaper who's haunted the courtroom all these years. He believes that “once that's done, the Van Zieks family will be ostracised completely from London society.” (I don't think he means living family members, but rather, the legacy of the Van Zieks name and the rights associated with it.) So because of that, he intends to leave the capital as soon as he's free of his employment. Considering how easily this man took a five year sabbatical and adding in the fact that the Lord Chief Justice just got arrested, I expect his resignation could be as easy as packing his desk and leaving his office without saying a word. Kazuma, however, calls him a fool and a coward. He basically dares Van Zieks to keep going now that he's finally freed from the pseudonym of the Reaper. Van Zieks neither agrees with the sentiment nor shoots it down, instead saying it's unexpected to hear those words from Kazuma of all people. With that out in the open, they leave for realsies.

Just as Van Zieks doesn't attend the Baker Street party, he isn't there when Ryu's at the docks to return to Japan. I like to think Kazuma did bother to tell Van Zieks that Ryu is leaving the country, because withholding that information seems like a bit of a jerk move, but... Well. Not showing up at the docks to say some final farewells is even more of a jerk move on Van Zieks's part. Though it's possible he felt he wasn't wanted there, and may eventually ask for Ryu's address so he can write a letter (which is far less imposing than invading a heartfelt farewell with a scowling face). It's a shame, though. I would've liked to hear his thoughts on Ryu's departure.

We learn that Kazuma will “stay in Lord van Zieks's tutelage for the time being” to become a full-fledged prosecutor. Which is fine, I guess. It doesn't matter whether he's a defense attorney or a prosecutor; all that matters is the pursuit of the truth. What catches my interest is that even with all that bad blood and refusal to forgive Van Zieks, Kazuma still agrees to keep studying as his disciple. This implies to me that he sincerely doesn't believe Van Zieks to be a bad person anymore, and acknowledges he can learn a lot from this man. Which is not the same thing as being on friendly terms with him, but at the very least he's giving Van Zieks the benefit of the doubt when it comes to improving their... Well, their dynamic, I suppose I should call it.

On to the credits scenes we go! This time, Van Zieks legit does get a scene of his own, but before we address this one, I want to skip ahead real quick to Albert Harebrayne's scene.

“He sent me a very nice letter saying he'd like to show me around now that everything was settled. B-But what have I done? I was so excited, I picked this splendid hotel and now I can't afford the bill! Oh Barok! Come to my rescue again, please! I, I wish I could just vanish into thin air sometimes!”

Several things of note can be taken out of this little scene. First of all, with the Reaper nonsense behind them, Van Zieks seems to have wasted very little time with asking his best buddy to return to London for that sightseeing that was promised. Presumably, he even paid for the trip (again), since Albert still seems to be very low on money. This, coupled with the fact that Van Zieks was reading that letter with quite a bit of dedication in his jail cell, indicates to me that he's longing for the good old days, when he could smile and have friends. He's trying to return to a sense of normalcy and since Albert is still considered his closest friend, it makes sense he'd reach out to him instead of a relative stranger like Kazuma. Baby steps. Now, the fact that Albert says “come to my rescue again” sets the very clear tone that this guy believes Van Zieks has helped him before- during the trial, of course. It's another reinforcement of the notion that Albert is thankful Van Zieks chose the role of prosecutor in order to defend the teleportation theory, even if it meant that he himself would be branded a murderer. Despite his gruff exterior and blunt words, Albert thinks of Van Zieks as a sort of knight in shining armor who will come save him. … With cold hard cash, in this case, but it's the gesture that counts. Van Zieks might allow Albert to stay in his mansion instead, but it depends how high the risk of assassination is at this point in time. People are probably hating on the Van Zieks family now that the truth of the Professor is out.

On to credits scene of Van Zieks himself! We have confirmation by now that he hasn't retired as a prosecutor, since Kazuma already expressed his intent to keep studying under him. So we see Van Zieks in his office, addressing Klint's painting.

“In those days, when I was known as the Reaper, I felt your presence at my side. Once, unable to bear the burden of that grim pseudonym, I even retired from the courtroom. Despite everything, I still wear your prosecutor's badge with pride. But the darkness that beset me is no more. As you, too... Are no more.”

The first two sentences of this bit feel very disjointed and barely related to me, so I had a quick look at some fan translations. First is the sub translation on Youtube: “I could feel you standing by my side through the days in which I was called the Reaper. Yet there were times I could not bear the burden of that name, and left the courtroom far behind me.” The “yet” is very crucial, since it makes the insinuation that feeling his brother's presence was very important to Van Zieks, but the burden became so overwhelming that he retired anyway. Taisa the Gamer's script doesn't have a “yet” in it, nor any equivalent, but the sentence structure still flows well enough not to cast doubt on how he felt about Klint's supposed presence. Contrasting that, the localization's wording with “even” almost makes it seem like feeling Klint's presence was a negative thing- that he was overwhelmed by it and that this was the burden associated with the Reaper name, as opposed to the killings. Which can't possibly be right; he already admitted to us that the idea of his brother's ghost helping him was one of the main reasons he kept on being the Reaper. So long story short, the localization's take on these first two lines is a little off.

The prosecutor's badge thing, however, is spot on. Despite everything- despite the 'true nature' of Klint now exposed, Van Zieks still wears the badge with pride. We know the badge is symbolical, of course. He still believes in Klint's sense of justice and he's still going to openly admit to being Klint's brother- to being a Van Zieks. That's sweet. He goes on to say that the darkness within him is no more. To really grasp what that means, let's go back to the end of case 2-3 for a second. There, Van Zieks says that after his brother's death, he found himself in “a very dark place indeed”. In case 2-4, he mentions that he refuses to trust others to protect himself against betrayal, but has now sunk into a proverbial mire which makes it impossible to breathe. All of that is the same darkness he's referring to now, I'm sure. I don't believe depression can lift this easily; there's no way that darkness is no more. However, I think what he means to say is that it no longer has such a strong hold on him that it manifests in paranoia and irrational hatred. He has a chance now to start fresh and that's what he intends to do. He's striding away from that darkness, towards a brighter future. In order for a person to change for the better, they themselves have to want to change, and it looks like Van Zieks is all for that. Which at last brings us to the conclusion of this essay series! The conclusion, which looks back on the original query posed in Part 1, will once again include a load of screencaps. To keep the post size lighter, I'm going to put it in a separate post. I hope you'll look forward to it!

[damienthepious]

HAPPY TWO-EST OF LIZARD KISSIN TWOSDAYS!!!! we can pretend that i’m posting this fic in particular because it’s a mirror/double of hb3, can’t we? and that’s DEFINITELY not a flimsy coincidence. :D

still need your teeth around my organs (chapter 8)

[ch 1] [ch 2] [ch 3] [ch 4] [ch 5] [ch 6] [ch 7] [ao3] [ch 9] [ch 10] [ch 11] [epilogue?]

Fandom: The Penumbra Podcast

Relationship: Lord Arum/Sir Damien, Lord Arum/Sir Damien/Rilla, Sir Damien/Rilla

Characters: Lord Arum, Sir Damien, Rilla

Additional Tags:  Second Citadel, Lizard Kissin’ Tuesday, Enemies to Lovers, Rivals to Lovers, Dueling, Sexual Tension, (because they’re IDIOTS), Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Mutual Pining, mutual IDIOTS, canon typical Arum ignoring feelings, Polyamory, (eventually lmao), Polyamory Negotiations

Fic Summary: Damien won yesterday, Arum won today, and now all  that’s left is to break the tie. The only issue, however, is that  neither of them are willing to do so, not until they are both satisfied  that they have fought fairly, and honorably, and one of them has truly won.

Chapter Summary: A vigil shared.

Chapter Notes: happy lizard kissin' TWOSDAY! yeehaw. also god damn it. god damn it. if you noticed the chapter count bump up another number no you didn't. god damn it.

~

Amaryllis is stubborn, Arum decides.

A little work to do before she sleeps turns into at least an hour, by his estimation, tea going cold as she mixes medicines and checks experimental solutions and takes notes into her little mechanical recording device (clever, or clever enough for a species that cannot master something as simple as parrotweed). She shows no signs of stopping, and by the third time she says that she only has a little bit more left to do, he realizes that she may very well stay up until dawn herself, which-

She is a doctor. Certainly she must know that a mind does not operate without some rest.

... not that Arum has any reason to care. Beyond her role in mending Sir Damien back to proper health, that is. And- if her idea in the first place had been allowing Arum to watch over her patient while she slept, it rather defeats the whole purpose of his risk in coming here if she fails to rest at all, doesn't it?

He leans across the table, eventually, when Amaryllis is distracted knuckling at her eye through a yawn, and he deftly pulls her latest tome across the table towards himself, out of the doctor's reach.

She takes a moment after she blinks her eyes back open, staring uncertainly down at the newly empty section of table before her, and then she blinks again and raises her eyes to the monster.

"What-"

"If you do not rest, you will be of no use to anyone, least of all yourself," Arum grumbles before she can properly voice her protest. "And my visit will have been entirely useless, as well. I thought you wished for me to relieve you of your vigil?"

She hesitates, her nose wrinkling in some combination of frustration and amusement, and then she reaches out towards the book. "Well- yeah, that was part of it, but- but I'm not finished yet, and I can still get just a little more-"

"Four," he says blandly, sliding the book another few inches from her grasping fingers.

"What?"

"That is the fourth time you have said something to that effect, Amaryllis. Each has been followed by at least twenty minutes of further work. Additionally, I just watched you yawn for upwards of seven seconds. You are exhausted. Go to bed. I can only stay until the sky begins to brighten, so you should not waste any more time."

Amaryllis scowls at that, ducking her head stubbornly as her bottom lip juts out in defiance, but after a moment or two of bristling, she sags. Her lip tilts up, wry and minutely sheepish, and then she meets his gaze with a sigh.

"Okay, okay. Alright, point made." She sighs again as she rocks back and moves to stand, stretching her arms high above her head with a wince as a number of her joints pop. "Ugh, Saints, I sound like stepping on a pile of kindling."

"I don't imagine your bodies are supposed to do that," Arum observes, mildly horrified, and Amaryllis laughs, quiet but bright.

"Not if you stretch as often as you should, at least," she says with a grin, lacing her fingers behind her back and pulling her shoulders behind herself to another, smaller round of pops. "I never remember, though. I get my head in a project and it's just like- poof, there goes three hours!"

Arum tilts his head, eying her. "I expect that's a conservative estimate."

She laughs again, and Arum's stomach jumps oddly at the sound. "Oh, shut up," she says, though judging by the warmth in her voice and the smile on her face, he feels reasonably confident that she doesn't mean it. "Yes, maybe. But it does make me very efficient."

Arum hums skeptically as he stands as well, reaching to gather their cups and move them to the pile of previous dishes that the doctor appears to be accumulating (a tomorrow problem, she had called it), and Amaryllis reluctantly closes out her recorded notes and marks her place in four or five books.

"In about two hours, would you just wake Damien up for long enough to have him take this medicine?"

She presses a little packet into Arum's hand, and he stares down dubiously at it. "Ah- you want me to- to wake him?"

"In two hours."

"And how do you expect me to gauge that, trapped here in your starless little abode?"

She pauses, and then she curls into another laugh, shaking her head as Arum bristles. "Sorry, sorry. Huh! Yeah, yeah I guess you probably can't read a human clock?" She shakes her head, stepping over to the counter and moving a few baubles and gadgets aside and pulling out a sandglass. "Here," she says, dropping that into another of his hands. "That'll give you an hour on one turn, so you can just do that twice and-"

"I know how a sandglass works," Arum snaps, sour, and the doctor smiles again.

"Good! Then it shouldn't be a problem, then," she says. "After two turns, just have him take that, and a full glass of water, or his stomach is not gonna like him. Full glass," she says again firmly.

Arum scowls at her demanding tone, but he reaches a third hand to take the glass of water she offers regardless. "Fine. If I must, fine. Now get to bed, little human. You can barely keep your eyes open."

"Yeah, yeah, okay, fine, you big nag," she says, yawning through half the words and waving one hand dismissively in the air. "I'll be in here if anything happens," she calls over her shoulder from the doorway, and then she raps her own knuckles off the doorframe. "Just knock. And- in any case, wake me up before you leave?"

She waits, and Arum realizes after a belated moment that she expects an answer. "F-fine," he says quickly. "Whatever you say. Fine. Go to bed."

Amaryllis laughs again, yawns one more luxurious time for good measure, and then closes the door behind her.

Leaving Lord Arum-

Alone, in a house of sleeping humans.

He should likely feel less comfortable with that idea.

He shakes his head, readjusts his grasp on the task Amaryllis has requested of him, and then quietly, carefully, he slips into Sir Damien's room.

~

Arum assumed that he would be rather bored, after Amaryllis went to bed, waiting for the sandglass to run out or for Damien to wake on his own.

But- it is strangely easy, for the first while, to simply... sit, and think, and content himself with the sight of Sir Damien healing, in a noticeably better state than when Arum saw him last. When he begins to feel restless with that, it is just in time to turn the sandglass again, and he finds the ream of papers on the table, beside the lantern set to lowest flame.

Poetry.

Sir Damien's own, obviously.

It would breach some privacy, he thinks, were he to paw through the sheets while Damien sleeps. Though- Damien breathes his poetry, even in combat, with ridiculous enough frequency and openness that even Amaryllis has fondly rolled her eyes over the subject in the two brief evenings of conversation Lord Arum has shared with her. He is not... Damien is not private, precisely, about his verse, and-

A different ink peppered across on the topmost page; words circled and annotated with brief comments, deft sketches of flowers beside their written mention and skillful depictions of animal musculature, handwriting- Amaryllis', he's nearly certain. Reference, for the poet to draw from? Compositional advice, or- notes, at the very least-

So, perhaps-

The topmost page should be safe. Shouldn't it?

Arum reaches out, and slowly, carefully takes the paper between two claws.

It all seems rather unfinished, much of it in truncated, disconnected scraps, crystalline details and rhythmic or rhyming phrases that Damien appears to collect in the pages even before he weaves them into proper verse, thoughts that he must share with his flower before he pulls them together into more complete works. The page possesses one or two fragments, however, that approach something nearer to poetry than to mere lyrical ingredients.

unforge this armor, guard vernal hollows / 'neath thorn and your green bramble / nettle to which I offer this new ache / this violet-bruise tenderness

Arum shivers, unsettled by the way Amaryllis has underlined the world violet, unsettled by the small sketch of a bowed-head lily in the margin, unsettled by the words themselves.

He sets the page back down. He looks carefully away from it. Arum waits, as patient as he is able, for the sand to run out.

~

It does. Less quickly than the monster would prefer, but-

The last grains drop to the bottom half of the glass, eventually, the low persistent hiss running out as Arum returns his focus to the room around him.

He eyes the shaded window, still dark at the edges, and then he leans closer to the bed, just enough that when he speaks, his voice need not come so loud that it seems obscene in the quiet of the hut.

"Damien," Arum tries, very gently, and Damien-

Damien hums in his sleep, a musical wavering question as his head tilts minutely towards Arum, his eyes still closed. Arum swallows, still uncomfortable with the... ease on Damien's face, the Tranquility that so often seems to elude him in his wakefulness, and then he leans just a little closer.

"Honeysuckle," he murmurs, and at that, Damien's eyes flutter open, his heartbeat ticking faster like Amaryllis' recorder winding up to speed. The poet blinks hard against the mellow, flickering light of the lantern, his eyes fixing on Arum as his cheeks darken, and then his breath catches for a moment.

"Ah- Lord- Lord Arum?"

Arum leans back from the bed, then, reaching to adjust the lantern just a little brighter.

"Indeed," he says with a shrug. "Amaryllis asked me to wake you to take your next round of... whatever this is," he says, lifting the packet of medicine from the bedside table and placing it carefully into Damien's hand. "I have water, as well. She said to insist that you drink the entire glass."

Damien stares down at the medicine, then blinks up at Arum for a moment before he bites his lip and looks away. He moves to sit up, wincing and inhaling sharply, and Arum stiffens in response.

"Careful- honeysuckle, wait-"

Arum lifts his hands without thinking, only recognizing the mistake when his palms connect with Damien's side, his shoulder, his arm, but- he cannot take the offer back, can he? Damien gives him an owlish look, still a little muzzy with sleep, and Arum scowls in return, leaning closer to better help ease Damien upright slowly, carefully.

"There," he says, irritated when his voice comes out mulish rather than admonishing. "Won't do to have you hurt yourself so foolishly. Go on, then. I have you."

Damien takes one or two breaths, deep and careful, and then he gives a strange, strained little smile before he opens the packet and takes the medicine. He reaches for the glass in Arum's remaining hand, and the monster keeps a careful claw on the side to ensure that Damien doesn't drop it as he lifts it to his lips.

Arum is not-

It is difficult to ignore the way the poet's throat moves as he swallows, the shape of his jaw, the way he closes his eyes like a cat raising his face to the sun, as he slowly drinks the glass down.

When Damien is finished, Arum exhales the breath he did not mean to hold, and then he pulls the cup away to set back on the bedside table.

"There," he says again, stilted. "I suppose you may- you may go back to sleep, then. That was the- the extent of my instructions, I believe."

Damien clears his throat, wiping his mouth with the back of a hand, and then he hesitantly meets Arum's eye again.

"I... forgive me, Lord Arum. Why... Rilla mentioned- she said, I suppose, that she... that she invited you to return, but-" he pauses as Arum scowls, looking away and huffing out a breath, but after a moment he continues. "I did not expect to see you again," he says, very quietly.

"Don't be absurd," Arum mutters. "We have a duel to finish, honeysuckle. Of course you would see me again."

Damien sighs, sinking more heavily into the pillows at his back with a subtle wince, and Arum resists the urge to growl.

"Well... yes, that much is true, but- I did not expect to see you again here, then. Or- not until I was much closer to proper health, at least. I know that you do not prefer to be kept waiting, but- alas, I cannot control my own healing, else I would be on my feet again in a moment."

"Don't be absurd," Arum repeats, and then he sighs in an irritable way. "Your doctor likely would not sleep until you were on your feet again if I did not come to relieve her." He pauses. "And even then she required convincing, the stubborn thing."

Damien breathes a laugh, his expression melting into a fondness that makes Arum's stomach twist.

"I believe I told you once, already, dear rival, that stubbornness is something I believe we three all share between us, in equal proportion."

Arum rolls his eyes. "Hm. Well. Perhaps I should set my stubbornness against you right now, then, if you insist on chattering at me rather than returning to your own sleep."

"I slept nearly the whole of the day," Damien pouts, "it is not my fault that I find myself wakeful now, Arum. Though," he pauses to bite his lip, then clear his throat again. "Though perhaps I should apologize, if- if you would prefer the quiet and mock-solitude of my slumber to-"

"At least I am not bored, now," Arum says before Damien can finish the thought. Damien coherent enough to banter back is far better than the alternative. Damien's lip curls into a strange little smile, though he lifts a hand to half-hide it. "Your incessant prattling is..." he does not know how to complete that sentence. He shakes his head instead. "If you are certain that your doctor will not berate me in the morning for allowing you to keep yourself awake, then I couldn't care less whether you stay conscious or not."

"Rilla always wants me to sleep more," he says, tone achingly fond, and Arum scowls.

"She is likely correct, considering your admitted stubbornness."

"Perhaps," Damien agrees airily, and then he tilts his head more towards Arum. "I apologize, dear rival, that you lacked amusement in your vigil. Had you woken me sooner, perhaps I could have recited something for you."

Arum feels his frill flare, traitorous webbing at his neck giving his embarrassment away as easily as the rattle in his throat. "N- there was- don't be foolish. There was no need," he says, haltingly, and his eyes flick towards the papers on the table without his say-so.

Damien notices, horrifically, his own eyes widening as his cheeks heat. "Ah- you- you read my-"

"I glanced over the topmost page," Arum corrects quickly, his tail lashing in distress, and the color on Damien's face darkens, if anything, as his heart skips. "I- I would apologize," he sneers. "If there had been any other means of amusing myself, perhaps-"

"N-no," Damien swallows, then laughs uncertainly. "It's nothing. It's- nothing finished, yet, at least. Not worth a look."

Arum growls to cover an embarrassed groan, flicking a hand in the air to quiet Sir Damien. "Oh, please. Professional prattler. Even your scraps make other poetry look like gibberish. You insult me when you insult my rival."

Damien laughs harder at that, and then winces, his hand flexing towards his ribs, and Arum growls again in warning. The poet inhales slowly, then exhales in a deliberate whoosh before he meets Arum's eyes again.

"Well... I could prattle for you a little more, if you would like. If you are still bored, that is," he corrects as Arum scowls compulsively. "Or... well, we cannot duel-"

"Obviously," Arum interjects with suspicious, stubborn fury at the idea that Damien might suggest otherwise.

"But... in the other room, my dear rival, my Rilla keeps a handful of... games, for when her brothers visit."

Arum narrows his eyes, still suspicious despite his new confusion. "And that matters... why, precisely?"

"If I cannot sleep, and you have decided to stay until Rilla wakes... perhaps we could pick one to play? Another competition," he continues quickly, when Arum pulls his head back. "I would be curious to see who would prevail in such a match."

"You would, honeysuckle, obviously," Arum snaps. "In a game I do not even know? Obviously you would have the edge."

"Oh, come now," Damien chides, pouting again. "My dear rival, we both know that you are quick and adaptable and clever, and you have rather an impressive mind for strategy. I have a habit of second guessing my- oh, perhaps I shouldn't even tell you my shortcomings," he corrects with a grin. "I am confident that you will learn rather quickly," he says instead. "I expect that we will find another tie, with little enough time."

Arum eyes the knight, the tired circles beneath his eyes and the heavy way he rests against his bedding, the spark of pleading in his eyes despite the brash confidence in his clear voice, and then the monster sighs.

"Oh, very well then. Though- we will count this towards our practice match scores, I think. I do not think we need a third set of numbers to keep track of between us."

Damien smiles with something like relief. "Thank you, Lord Arum," he says mildly. "I am glad we agree."

[↣]

[yellowocaballero]

Opening Line Tag Game

Rules: List the first lines of your last 20 stories (if you have less than 20, just list them all!). See if there are any patterns. Choose your favorite opening line. Then tag 10 of your favorite authors!

Tagged by @actualbird, who did not mean to bait me with the opportunity of director’s cut, but he absolutely did. I’ll just go through my last 15, which are all  for The Magnus Archives. 

Opening Lines: 

1. Most people who were unlucky enough to meet Jonathan Sims assumed he had no friends. This was true, up to a point two months after Jon became a researcher at the Magnus Institute: afterwards Jon had no friends, except for Sasha James. (Fahrenheit 101)

2. Jon had one final dream, then. (Hope, Etc. (Dickenson et al.))

3. It was a perfect day for his wife’s funeral. (Sucker’s Bet)

4. Monday morning, two hours into their brainstorming session into how to rescue Daisy from administrative labor, the Archives received a package. (Solitaire, part 3 of Roleswap AU)

5. The act of object reacquisition was a subtle and refined technique. (The Crow’s Funeral)

6. Jon was reasonably sure that his History teacher was a time traveller. (The Monster at the End of This Book)

7. “I don’t care what Elias says,” Melanie said, watching Basira uncap her dry erase marker with a vengeance, “we aren’t letting that pig Stoker into the polycule.” (Minesweeper, part 2 of the Roleswap AU)

8. In Melanie’s defense, she wouldn’t have had to do it if working at the Magnus Institute wasn’t so freaking boring. (Space Cadet, part 1 of Roleswap AU)

9. “Our boss is an immortal psychic vampire and I can prove it,” Tim told Sasha two weeks after the worm incident, barging inside her office after hours. (Human Relations)

10. If asked, Martin would say that he became the shadow director of the Magnus Institute by accident. (Feste)

11.  Martin dreamed that night of opening the door to the Archives and walking down slimy cement steps, stopping in front of a wood oak door. (Martin and the Dream Boy)

12. [My Chemical Romance lyric but I’m not counting that] Ah, Jon thought, unlocking the door to his house. Just what any thirty three year old man loves to hear upon returning home from a long day at work: the sweet, dulcet sounds of My Chemical Romance peeling the paint off the walls. (No Sin But Ignorance)

13. Jon was reading out sections of Georgie’s battered copy of Encyclopedia on Ghosts out loud just to bask in the sound of his own voice when he heard a knock on the door, quickly followed by a choked scream, and a thump. (Bell, Book, and Candle)

14. Daisy woke up to Jon standing over her with a knife.  (Attempted Assasinations)

15.  Jon woke up at 5:45 AM Monday morning with what, at the time, he assumed to be a head splitting hangover, despite the fact that he was not a known heavy drinker and could not recall partaking last night. (theatre of the absurd)

Thoughts: 

If you want advice on writing opening lines, Zak “Actual Writing Major” Bird gave good advice. I find writing opening lines to be really similar to writing summaries, and you kind of have to play the same game with all of them.

I’m going to agree with basically everything he said, as I do the same thing - especially with the orientation, and then the cliffhanger. As Zak said, opening lines especially have to play many different roles. I tend to apply that ‘triple time’ rule to scenes, because I want every scene to play a plot/thematic/suspenseful/character-building role, but if you’re a better writer you can get it down to the lines. Here’s what I was typically trying to do with my opening lines:

1. Orient you in space and time. Where in the canon am I? Who is the point of view character? What’s going to be the problem we’re facing? This is doubly important because I tend to pretty much exclusively write AUs, so the first thing I want to establish is that it’s an AU. The BBC line establishes that Jon’s living at Georgie’s place pre-S3, and that something exciting’s about to happen that didn’t happen in canon. The NSBI opening line establishes that Jon is...living a happy domestic life, presumably with a teenager?. In Space Cadet, you get that this is when Melanie’s working at the Institute but...it’s boring? What’s going on?

(For a non-fanfic story, this kind of orientation would establish setting and character.  I also tend to do that, but it’s more important in fic that you’re grounded in where we are)

2. Establish that SOMETHING WEIRD IS HAPPENING??? My stories have a lot of ‘weird’ factor, or so I’m told, and I want the opening line to establish that. I often pull that ‘what the fuck is going on’ further into the story into the entire first scene, so I’m always hitting the ground running and waiting for the reader to catch up. Why is Jon standing over Daisy with a knife? What do you mean Martin’s the shadow director of the Institute? What does arson have to do with anything?! It’s a cliffhanger, and you’re already presented with this ‘question’ in the first line of the story. Evilcon’s a good example of a line that does 1 + 2: you understand immediately that this story is about Jon, who is probably a child in school, and that he’s having a very canon non-typical encounter with the supernatural. Same with Sucker’s Bet - the opening line brings up so many questions: we understand that we’re at a graveyard and probably not in canon, but Jon has a wife? His wife is dead? Why would it be a perfect day for a funeral?

3. Set tone. You can pretty much tell instantly from these lines which are comedy and which are not. The (relatively) serious ones start out with some kind of action or engagement - Martin’s walking down stairs, Jon’s waking up with a hangover, Jon’s standing over Daisy with a knife. In contrast, the more comedic ones kick off with a joke, some dialogue, or a relatively whacky moment. Crow’s Funeral is more thoughtful and atmospheric. My style of comedy is very machine gun and incessant, so when the story starts off with a joke and just doesn’t stop, then you know what you’re getting into. 

4. Just punchy. Don’t get too long, or too fancy, but make it sound good. I do typically try to get them to stand on their own in an interesting way. Maybe only half of them have particularly snazzy opening lines (which tend to get used in the synopsis), but typically I either open up the document with a snazzy line or a snazzy scene in my head. A lot of the time that’s all I got. 

Actually, I’d say that it’s super similar to writing synopses. A lot of these rules also apply to first scenes. I do remember a writing teacher when I was 20 telling me about a bunch of rules for opening lines but I don’t remember them. As usual I’m vibe based. Anyway, uh...Hannah get your butt over here I know you like talking about this too @lazuliquetzal.