#and thats their choice and thats valid but idk who i'd be without that

[momofmysquad]

Skam Austin haters will never understand how life-changing it was when Megan kissed Shay

[yonpote]

another thing is like... under capitalism, business success and wealth begin to alienate you from others who don't have that. and that alienation can feed into greed, like why not keep investing and making business deals and buying expensive stuff? and no one around is really going to call you out because they are either capitalist hacks or maybe people who once struggled who now rely on you.

so like, I don't inherently expect much from creators like dnp who come into money. even though they probably have more financial freedom than many other creators because of all the tours, books, games, etc (because they are good at business!)

so like, as their fans who ultimately are their consumers, I think it's good to call them out, especially because they have shown before that they have good intentions.

am I expecting much from them? no. wealth can be corrupting and speaking out comes with risk to business/career interests. but they have a special relationship with their audience, as we're mostly all fellow queer and neurodivergent people with similar interests. so we can provide feedback and be the ones to try to ground them and be like "hey that wasn't cool please do better." stopping engagement with them and their content entirely doesn't really do anything to help, unless they did something they needed to absolutely be deplatformed for. stopping engagement is a valid personal choice, but when I see stuff that begins to resemble like 'they aren't being activists right now time for everyone to unstan' I'm like... if that makes you feel better, fine, but I would rather parasocially / affectionately be like "hey I expect more from you!" in a way that is constructive. which is something I would want to do with my friends, but the difference is, if my friends didn't change or try to then I probably would distance myself from them. Whereas Dan and Phil are entertainers we don't now irl, we have a different relationship with them. but compared to many other creators, they really do tend to be more sensitive to their audience (which has helped their success).

but so this time the (mostly leftist) phannies calling them out actually got them to do a fundraiser so that's cool! even if it's because of the backlash like, that's what the point of backlash is! we should want people to change behavior. not to just abstractly punish them, for something they could be unlikely to do without pressure. though hopefully it will lead to less instances of having to pressure them.

idk this brings up interesting stuff about parasocial relationships, the transactions between creators and their audience, and capitalism. so of course I had to rant about it for a sec lol.

thats completely true! thank u for the rant lol but yeah i dont want to come across as being like, NEVER EXPECT ANYTHING FROM YOUR FAV CREATORS it was more like, with dnp specifically we know where their heart is i guess so it can be unnecessary to call for whatever. BUT you're absolutely right in that they probably wouldn't have done a charity stream were it not for pressure from fans. and maybe this is ME being parasocial but i'd like to think that this isn't for damage control or performativism (i mean it is a LITTLE cuz any publicity is a little bit abt looking good) but rather like, putting their money where their mouth is basically! and showing to their core audience like hey we care about this thing too and we fully hear you.

i was thinking about this General concept wrt dnp because i think there have been other moments where dnp were called out about something or criticized for like their more offensive humor and they stopped doing that and educated themselves which is better than most creators who put up fakeass apology videos. ive seen a lot of ppl say they want dan to talk about and apologize for his racist and sexist humor (and honestly only asking dan but not bringing up that phil also had his share of racist jokes) but it's like. at this point what further could he say? he's not a 21 year old shit head anymore (and yeah good for you for being a socially aware 21 y/o in 2024 but that offensive humor literally was just the culture of that time period) and they both have SHOWN that they have grown and even talked about it in like the pinof react video where they talked about "yeah we bullied kristen stewart a lot cuz it was just popular to make fun of her and justin bieber and that really sucks that we did that" like they have changed and shown change! they do not need to make a grand apology statement cuz like if you wanna talk performativism then lets talk about the fakeness of basically every apology video on the internet????

sorry thats unrelated to what u were talking abt but it just made me start thinking BUT YEAH THANK YOU FOR YOUR HOT TAKES!!!!

[leorawright]

tf2 romantic matchup?

i'm pan (questioning idk) /demi, and use she/they/it, i'm an ENTP 7w8 (still not sure about the enneagram part lmao)

i can be quiet at first if i dont know people, but if i "click" with a person i can practically make friends with them in an instant and am very energetic most of the time around that specific person. i often deal with difficult emotional situations using humor, and i have a difficult time with how to act during serious conversations so i can come off as uncaring or oblivious sometimes. very few things make me genuinely mad, but when i do get mad i tend to run away either figuratively or literally.

also, i really really enjoy discussing my hyperfixations with people who know about them. currently they're SCP (and anything based on paranormal/anomalous sci-fi) and AI as a topic. to most people i know, they're my entire personality. i'm also very much a music person, i have it on all the time and listen to a lot of different types of songs (will wood and jhariah are my favorites though). i also have several OCs that i love writing about (mainly because I'm too worried to write for existing fandoms because i'd mischaracterize them), and can go on at length about the imaginary characters/situatuons in my head lol. i love to draw on my own hands/arms, I'm not too good at drawing in general so usually I'll just do symbols or patterns, and i also make edits sometimes spending up to 6 hours on one project.

i'm pretty smart (according to the tests) but act kind of stupid/chaotic with people i'm comfortable with. i also love learning more about my hyperfixations or even different topics- if i'm remotely interested in the subject matter, i could end up staying up researching it for the majority of the night. speaking of which, i'm practically an insomniac by choice, and have trained myself to function relatively normally on around 4-5 hours of sleep or less.

i usually struggle with explicitly expressing my true emotions for someone, and when i do it can be really awkward, so i try to show my affection in other ways like spending time with them and listening to them. i also worry about whether something i did upset someone i love, and can often start feeling insecure about whether i'm still cared about.

in a partner i guess I'd want someone who'd tolerate my personality, since many people don't. also someone who's willing to listen to my rambles on different things, and encourages me or matches my energy idk. i guess also someone who'd be willing to occasionally reassure/validate me when i get insecure.

i think thats all! thanks :]

I know exactly who to pick...

Scout!

He's so glad that you're someone he can be energetic and chaotic with without being judged

He learns to understand how you deal with situations, and so he makes sure to adjust to how you act

He's not as good with staying awake as long as you but he still wants to be close to you so he'll often fall asleep beside you while you research stuff

He'll happily listen to your rambles, and he tries his best to remember everything so he can talk to you about it again

[buysomecheese]

He is right, despite being an abusive bastard with a lot of his own problems

Tbh i don't generally stay on any one topic but like i enjoy chattering and I'm glad you listen, i just like to share my experience in the hopes that somebody somewhere will see and grasp something from it

"theres always a tomorrow"

Thats probably the reason i never let anxiety take over as much as i could, and did a lot of stupid (albeit fun) things

Hell, i doubt I'd have my happy relationship now without it

I only just moved a couple months ago but seriously the contrast in insane, i tell people about jumping off bridges and cliffs in the summer and they think I'm insane

Thats my normal though, in a small town of 3k with nothing better to do, why not take a swim in the rivers flowing through? Even if our entry of choice was

Creative?

I'm still readjusting to living in the city, the opportunity is great and the distance is allowing me to heal, but the city is a big place and its different for me

I'm used to not having a neighbor for 5km either direction and now ones so close i have to relearn the concept of "quiet"

The walls in our old house were also inexplicably thicker, so thats not helping my volume readjusting either lol

But i also get nice things here, i can take in person Japanese classes and i get electric heating now and even though my neighbors a nosy stick in the mud at least i have that safety net of "if something happens they will notice"

Where i did live if you got caught by some wild animal (most likely cougar) who knows how long it'd be until you were found

Although, another aspect is adjusting to not having a guard dog and geese (yes, geese make good guardians) around. I'm nervous and on edge, i flinch when a bus or other large vehicle passes because to me the sounds are Loud and sudden

Its just wierd relocating to somewhere so different and being told "it's not even really a city here though."

Its 38.9k people, that's more than 10X what I'm used to

I’m glad that’s helped curb your anxiety, even if the source kinda sucks :/ it’s good that you can separate that though!!! Also, congrats on your relationship!!!! (/gen)

Small town of 3k sounds like the perfect place for us lmao, we grew up in the suburbs of a large city I think and omgs? Way too much XD I just looked it up and there’s 388k people in our city so that’s like another 10x the size of your new place omgs

Anyways yea that’s completely valid, jumping into rivers and such in at least a somewhat safe manner sounds fun honestly

But the electric heating and in-person classes/resources, and the safety net of strangers is definitely nice, I’m sure a lot more things are probably within walking distance too? Idk, that’s my parameter for a “good safe place” lmao

Could you get some kind of dog in the future? Maybe not a huge guard dog, we have two small guys but they bark like no one’s business so maybe that could help? Geese scare me personally but I have no doubt that they’d be good guard animals XD they have teeth that look sharp as heck to me lol

Also yea felt about the sounds, I’ve lived in a city my whole life and I still get scared when my mom honks her car horn after warning us that she’s going to honk it lmao

Good luck adjusting, we believe in you!!!!

[pokefanbri]

If I move on, even if we're not together anymore...it just feels like a betrayal & i dont know if I can bring myself to do it, Idk if I can! 😭 I was left like an unexpecting pet or even pokemon lol wondering where its owner went after it was abandoned without knowing why...i know that sounds silly...but it makes me wonder if I was left hanging in such a way with no closure...am i like left on a back burner or some shit. Its ridiculous I know, i shouldn't wait for a return when there's none deserved...but in my eyes, we both must work on ourselves including with self love & evaluating our faults etc, b4 jumping into something serious...like jumping the gun b4 we're ready..& I know he knows that too. He doesn't realize how awesome of a person he really is, fuck the bruised ego or what have u after everything, he doesn't like showing weakness i know him well...thats also a guy thing 😅 it doesn't make him less of the great person ive known for months.

But i don't know what to do, im at a loss, id be giving my heart to someone else when it was wide open for him if he wanted it...and the more I learn & understand by putting myself in his shoes, somehow my love grew even more so after the fact....which makes it even more of an agonizing pain. I don't need his validation, I would just like to speak 😔 It may or may not be painful for him to, but it is for me to not.

The whole relationship, all the events, everything karma,God or even Satan ffs is giving us thereafter....its all piling up without release. Right now at this moment as im sobbing again, id do anything for a proper chance to be redeemed in some way & maybe truly experience the relationship the way its meant to be 😭 but I know deep down its probably not likely even if granted we were brought together for a reason like fate for self growth for example. All I know is that I'd rather hear it from him, that everything is gonna be okay, & that he prays for me just as much as i do for him 😭😭😭 I don't care about the era of our relationship, I can move past the downs without forgetting the great positives.. id put that shit aside if it means i can just get my best friend back 😭 cuz losing both at the same time is whats killing me rn, i can't handle this shit, I just dont want to think about this anymore...it just hurts too much. I hope with time, things change & we're cool again if that would ever be a possibility.

Nothing like this has ever happened to me before, im so confused & scared its harder to trust with everything out to get me..this was not supposed to be how my life turned out..Im a hot broken mess. I ask myself everyday why, why did it have to be like this after all the good, what was it worth...was it worth losing someone in a blink of an eye to avoid dealing with it rather than confront & becoming better for eachother, was it worth sacrificing it all including our well being!? And why, why was i unwanted for a whole half a year!!!!! No, if anything especially MY time & energy was wasted, I did everything right, I damn well know what it takes to be in a relationship I thrive on long term...he made his choices & it ended up costing us both. If I knew the end result would ruin me in certain areas, I would've risked it to have gone in the 1st place...😔 Who chooses to close themselves off even more, not want to fix whats broken for greater things within, & instead runs away from it 😭 Who guards themselves from vulnerability so much so, as if they've locked themselves up from any1...makes me think who tf fucked his heart up in his past where he thinks he can't be close? Am I crazy or in the ball park I have no idea, me trailing off to theories is exactly why im confused, my mind is literally working overtime to figure it all out & i can't stop it...actually gives me a headache. Im not sure ill ever get my answers 😔 I just know Its harder to move on without knowing how I ended up here. A small part of me thinks its a cruel joke just to put us in a position to get our shit together on our own merits & everything would be fine between us again..but at what cost. I just don't know anymore.

Though i grew fond of him & my heart grew 3 sizes bigger..over time his became less & left cold, but throughout...we were still homies til the bitter end, that ill always cherish.

You will never know how to truly love someone & be given the glory of that life, if you're unable to love yourself first. Nobody is perfect, but when u look at the one u love...they're perfect to you. When i looked at him, I thought he was the most amazing person...flaws & all I didnt care, I accepted him for who he was. Like "see that person right there..their face brings me joy & is why I get outta bed just to see it in the morning" All i wanted was for him to feel the same 😔

Theyll always have a piece of my heart, the bond connects even if by a thread, it will always be there. The pieces of the past are a puzzle to my heart & it searches within those pieces for what it needs.. it will be sewn or put back together eventually & may swell again, by who I do not know. Idk if ill ever feel that way again or find someone who'd measure up to that same level as I again. Only time will tell, all i can do is pray...for them & myself that we find peace, to forgive & forget so we rest a little easier to better face today's challenges as they come. I pray they're alright & send any strength they may need to fight whatever battles they face as well. Thats all i can do