#and thats only in a few cities in sao paulo????

[itachikun]

how did the french get worldwide known for their food when there are barely any french restaurants in other countries that are known & accessible to working class...? if anything its mexican cuisine thats gonna dominate the world

[futuremeyouarewelcome]

005 do i have depression?

:) nice one to start with i chose this one cause i had a conversation about this with Amanda, it was briefly but made me think about it more SO

i dont think i have depression i have had depression cause FOR ME depression has nothing to do with being sad, i was sad but it wasnt just sadness, it was just empty. i can remember two specific years i was feeling this way, but didnt "know" at that time, cause, as many people do, i thought depression = sad.

the first time was in 2014 last year of high school (i wonder why i had depression :) ) i dont even know where to start firstly, i h a t e d my school, i wouldt go back there at all, but not because i got bullied or had terrible teachers or something, i just didnt feel comfortable in that place, its weird to explain i could talk for hours about how much i didnt like studying there but to sum it up, i didnt feel comfortable i didnt want to go to school i didnt have many friends i had terrible grades bla bla bla especially cause before i got in high school, i was studying in another city with ALL of my best friends to this day, i loved going to school, it was near my house and my friends' house and i had great grades so yeah nice change there it was objectively a great school, some of the best in Sao Paulo, i had some amazing teachers, it had a lot of trees and flowers and whatever SO having that, they put a fucking lot of pressure (is this right idk) on the students so they go well after school, get in the best universities on the country anD IF THEY DIDNT OMG UR A FAILURE U WILL STARVE U WONT EVER GET A JOB U GONNA BASICALLY DIE IF U DONT GET IN THE BEST UNIVERSITY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! that made me feel SO good :) :) :) so i think the first semester, i was ok cause i didnt like going out that much and the pressure wasnt that bad, and as i said i had some great teachers and the few friends i had were great so not that bad but the second semester when the exams started i had no fucking idea WHAT i wanted to do, i just knew WHERE i HAD to study cause i was fucking brainwashed in that fucking school, so i was like "ok, i kind of like portuguese, and its an easy course to pass in the best university, so thats what im gonna do for my life :)" so everybodys hopes went through the roof, cause how couLD I NOT get in that university since i studied in a amazing school and its an easy couse to pass???????????? since im writing this, i didnt fucking work obviously  this hope got into my head, i was like "im already in dude" :) naive 17yo me basically it but an amazing thing happened after it since i didnt get into college, i had to study another year that means: cursinho best decision i have ever made in my life, 2015 was one of my best years of my life (except for 1 day, cause i didnt get into college again lol more on that later), ive had the B E S T teachers in my whole life, ive never felt so inspired/motivated by teachers in my whole life, i LOVED (and still love) that place so fucking much i miss it so so so so much :(((( i didnt care i had to wake up at 5am and get a million subways to get there and only got home at 7pm, i didnt care i loved that i could go hours talking about it

so 2015 was fucking amazing, i wont ever forget my teachers and that place but 2016 came :) and oooOooOoooOOoOoH BOYYYYY depression got me fucking good