#and thats okay. its not cut and dry

[pcktknife]

splatfest based off the fruit i just tore up

[teruthecreator]

youtube keeps tryinf to recommend me this video but i Refuse to watch it as the only person i want to hear talk abt rankin bass films is tumblr user mich fitzroythecreator

thank you so much one day im gonna make a big video on my tierlist and individual ratings of each of the rankin/bass holiday stopmotion straight-to-tv classics and people!!! might be surprised!!! at my opinions on rudolph!!!

(spoiler warning: i think it's mid)

[mintiicinnamonii]

Im a sucker for angst so uhhh

Can I request a Macaque x reader who was once possessed by the LBD

And he can't help but flinch whenever they get mad cuz it reminds him of that time

And last but not least, u doin okay?

notes: yeah im doing quite well! i love angst, and i also love s3/lbd readers, so this is PERFECT :3

i’ve been experimenting with the format of my posts, so sorry for the inconsistency!

Oh Who is She?

You and Macaque got into a fight. A BIG fight. About what? You didn’t even remember anymore. You gritted your teeth as Macaque tried to reason with you, fists shaking. You snapped your head over to him, glaring at him with daggers in your eyes, and Macaque swore he saw a shimmer of blue in them. “GOD, WILL YOU SHUT THE HELL UP?!” 

Macaque flinched, backing up in shock and fear. His golden eyes widenedas he stared at you, throat dry. He was unable to speak, with his ears pinned back against his head, as a familiar feeling of dread filled his mind. The same dread he’d feel when he was around HER. He looked like a trapped animal; a horrified, weak, trapped animal. 

You maintained your scowl, until you suddenly realized what you did. The glass of water you were holding fell onto the ground, as your breathing quickened. “Macaque- I- I’m sorry- I- I didn’t mean to..” You covered your mouth, hyperventilating. The feeling of someone behind you sent a chill up your spine, and you felt something scratching at your skull. You wanted- no- NEEDED to get it out. You fell onto the floor, desperately picking up the broken shards with your shaking hands, biting your tongue so the tears wouldn’t fall. You cut your hands on the glass as you picked the shards up- it was so hard to hold anything- why was it so hARD-

Macaque saw your panicked state, and was immediately filled with worry. He was still shaken up by your sudden anger, but this wasn’t the time to worry about himself right now. “Woah- plum- you’re gonna hurt yourself!” He crouched down to you, holding your hands. He frowned, seeing how much they were shaking, “Hey, hey.. its okay. Look at me. Hey, look at me.” You hesitatantly shifted your gaze to your boyfriend, as Macaque smiled at you softly. “Thats it.. I need you to breathe with me, m’kay? In and out...” He inhaled and exhaled exaggeratedly, squeezing your hand. “You can do it, gem..”

You were quivering, but did your best to breathe as Macaque uttered sweet nothings into your ear. “You’re doing so good for me, starlight.. just like that…”

Soon enough, you were able to calm down enough, looking up at Macaque. “Sorry..” Your voice was raspy from the yelling and crying. “I shouldnt have snapped at you- god, why did I do that- I’m a horrible partner-“ Macaque furrowed his brows. “No. No you’re not. You are an amazing partner. You didn’t mean to-“

“BUT THAT DOESNT MAKE IT OKAY!” You sobbed. “If I hadn’t been possessed by that damn DEMON- none of this would have happened! I ruined everything; I wasn’t strong enough to fight against her, its all my fault!” The tears came in full force now, your eyes like waterfalls carved into your skull by the Lady Bone Demon’s cold, clawed hands, water rushing it from a dam of your own self hatred. “You shouldn’t have to put all of your struggles aside just for me! I fucked up!” 

Macaque let out a slow sigh. “Yeah. You did… but.. I forgive you.” Your eyes widened. “What?”

“I forgive you. I understand that you were the one that yelled at me, and yes, it still hurt..” He held your hand, his calloused hands intertwining with yours. “But I understand you didn’t mean to hurt me, and that you want to be better. And I still love you.” He gave your hand a gentle kiss, tail curling around your leg. Your heart’s icy walls shattered, replaced by pure adoration and raw emotion. “I love you too.” You smiled shakily. Macaque helped you up, careful to not let either of you step on the glass. “Lets go patch ya up, yeah? I’ll clean that up later..” 

You smiled. “Yeah. Sounds good.”

[anadiasmount]

jude and you being childhood bestfriends but your parents are also super close. Your parents always suspecting yous both like each other and constantly teasing yous about it. But you’ve both been dating for a like a year in secret cos yous both don’t know how to tell your parents and one day they just find out cuz they come home u expectedly when you and Jude are cuddling and everyone’s just all so happy for yous 💗

- your writing is amazing btw x

thank you lovely, means so much! 😣🤍

“we should tell them soon… my mom has become very suspicious of me lately. she followed me to the grocery store! the grocery store jude!” you laughed, feeling as he chuckled on top of you. “do you think we did wrong in not telling them? well besides jobe because he got us here in the first place…” you wandered off asking, jude’s head coming up to stare at you.

“i personally don’t think so baby. look at us, a year strong, and so many memories spent together. i wouldn’t change it for the world, because it means i have you all to myself,” jude says softly, while your finger fixes his brow that had been messed up. “they would understand. both of our families. they know how stressful and hard our jobs are, so who can blame us?”

“nobody.”

“exactly my love. how did you want to tell them?” jude asked, snuggling closer to you and placing kisses all over your chest. you laughed and tried to sway away but with his bigger frame he pinned you down. “i was thinking of just telling them today, maybe at dinner or when we play games?”

“whatever you decide i’m right there,” jude replied, falling asleep in less then 10 minutes.

while you hated being separated from jude, he unfortunately had to go back to his house to get ready. you slipped into a dark red dress and left down, your hair parted to your preference, making sure to apply a red lip and gold jewelry. the heels made you look taller which is what you wanted.

after grabbing the cupcakes and chocolate covered strawberries, you and your family were headed out to his house were you’d host christmas. you greeted everyone, asking how they were a wishing them a merry christmas eve.

jude almost choked on his drink as he saw you walk in. he was in a trance, his eyes roaming up and down your body, his lips and throat becoming dry at your figure. for a second he got slightly jealous as he observed you talk to one of his moms friend son, which clearly he took a liking.

he scrunched his brows and cleared throat, his mom coming next to him, “you okay jude? y/n looks so pretty doesn’t she,” his mom taunted his head more to which jude snickered. “she always looks beautiful mom,” he did his attempted wink, and walked over to the living room leaving her with a brow raised.

a warm and larger palm touched your shoulder, making you jump, and look down shyly as you stood next to jude. “hi max, you good?” jude pursed, clearly bothered by the interaction which left you confused.

before max respond could respond, jude cut him off “thats good, gonna borrow this one really quick,” he pulled you aside to the kitchen where it was alone. your heels clicked on the grown still holding the cupcakes. “jude slow down,” you warned him.

as you set the tray down, jude double checked the doorway, and strides to where you were. you giggled at his pout and frown. “it was driving me insane. you talking to him? while you look so sexy in this dress? jesus it’s gonna drive me crazy all night. you look beautiful darling,” jude rambled, his hands roaming your sides and placed firmly on your ass.

“thank you baby, you look handsome yourself,” although you were still wearing heels, you had to lean up, and jude lean down to catch your lips in a quick kiss, that then turned into three pecks, “i left lipstick all over your lips jude,” you tried to wipe it away but two gasps had you standing still.

“WE KNEW IT! OH MY GOSH! ITS A CHRISTMAS MIRACLE!” said your mom, her hands covering her mouth as she smiled huge. jude’s mom just smirked and walked over to the two of you, “care to explain jude?”

jude still had lipstick on his lips, which made you laugh as your wrapped your hand on his right bicep and muscles. his cheeks slightly went red, embarrassed at being caught, “well we’ve been dating for a year… and she’s the woman i’m gonna marry,” he said confidently.

“A YEAR? YOUVE BEEN DATING FOR A YEAR? john grab my glass this is worth to celebrate,” your mom fanned her face dramatically before joining jude’s mom next to her. they have the two of you warm and tight hugs, scolding you for keeping it hidden for so long.

“we’re so happy for the two of you, i’m glad the two of you found each other and are able to start a relationship! we love you guys,” his mom said. after a quick conversation, jude pulled you into the bathroom, he took a quick selfie of his marked red lips and posted it onto his story, captioning it with “merry christmas to all 🤍🎄”

you cleaned his lips and tried to remove every red mark. walking back out to being faced with everyone looking at you, the two of you chuckled nervously, jude’s hand finding home with yours as everyone continued to stare.

“congratulations on finally making it officially,” jobe teased everyone cheering, which made you hide your face onto his chest.

[steddieas-shegoes]

for the 150 steddie prompts!!

132: “i didn’t think it was possible to love someone this much.”

(i used a number generator thats why its so random)

have fun!!

Oh, this is gonna be mushy. I'm feeling mushy. I'm gonna be in a wedding next week and am feeling so many mushy things about it, and I just finished writing the "speech" I'm giving (I am hoping I can just like privately do it tbh) and got REEEEALLY emotional so.

Rated T | tags: modern au, steddie wedding (a stedding if you will), fluff

🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻🤵🏻

Despite Eddie's insistence that everything would go perfectly, and Nancy's overbearing organization, and Robin's attempt at keeping Steve from knowing when something went wrong, things did not go perfectly.

The rain started five minutes before they were supposed to start the ceremony and Steve immediately started spiraling.

"Rain is bad luck! It wasn't even supposed to be cloudy today! Nance, what do we do?" Steve was pacing back and forth, running his hands through his hair, ruining it's previously perfect style.

"First, we just wait a few minutes and see if it passes. You take a breath or five. Robin is gonna make sure the guests are staying dry inside the reception hall," Nancy answered, typing furiously on her cell phone.

"And then? If it doesn't stop? Do I just marry Eddie in the fucking rain?"

Nancy looked up at him, eyes squinting as she considered an answer.

"Your first kiss was in the rain, was it not?" she finally settled on.

"I don't see how that has anything to do with-"

"And the first date, that ended up with you stuck in rain after a concert?"

"So?"

"The first time he said he loved you was during a storm."

Steve felt some of the tension ease from his back and arms.

"And when he asked you to marry him, you were waiting for the rain to stop so you could walk the dog he didn't tell you he was rescuing."

"That was-"

"Yeah, so I think maybe we can just relax when it comes to rain. It's clearly not the sign of bad luck you seem to think it is," Nancy went back to typing furiously on her phone.

"Who are you texting?" Steve asked, sitting down on the arm of one of the chairs in the room.

"Dustin."

"Is he okay? Is Eddie?" Steve stood up, ready to go check on them himself, but was immediately stopped by Nancy's firm grip on his shoulder.

"Everyone is fine. Chill."

So, he chilled. Or tried to at least.

Nancy continued to text and the skies continued to pour down rain.

After ten minutes, he stood up.

"We can't keep people waiting. It doesn't look like it's gonna stop, so-"

A knock on the door interrupted him, causing both him and Nancy to turn towards it with wide eyes.

"Stevie?"

"Eds?"

Steve opened the door, even though he was supposed to wait until they were actually getting married to see him today.

His arms were full of Eddie before Nancy could slam the door shut.

"What's wrong, baby?" Steve asked, arms tightening around him and breathing in the smell of his "nice" cologne.

"'S raining," Eddie mumbled against his neck.

"Okay, that's it. Both of you are getting married now." Nancy tugged them apart and out of the room, her strength somehow still surprising to both of them.

"Nance-"

"Wheeler, it's pouring and-"

"Shut up."

One thing about Nancy Wheeler is she was a bit scary when she was determined, and right now, it seemed she was incredibly determined to get them married.

The rain was still coming down, but Nancy didn't let that stop her from dragging them to the arch surrounded by rows of seats.

She stood under the arch, eyebrows raised as water dripped off of her.

Steve and Eddie stared at her, then at each other.

They both started laughing.

"Might as well do it, then," Eddie shrugged.

"Dearly beloved, we are stuck out in the rain today to see these two idiots get married-"

"Hey! This is not what we agreed you'd say!" Steve argued, cutting himself off when Nancy snapped her fingers.

"We're gonna cut this short because this rain is cold, but they've both prepared some things to say," Nancy gestured for them to get started.

Steve had known what he was going to say for months now, memorized it and practiced it in the mirror almost every morning while he was doing his hair.

But it didn't feel right now.

"I didn't think it was possible to love someone this much," Steve said, squeezing Eddie's hands in his. "Standing in the rain to marry you makes sense, now that we're here. All I care about is you, all I ever care about is being with you, rain or shine or snow, bad times or good."

It was impossible to tell for sure if Eddie was crying or the raindrops were running down his cheeks, but when he spoke, Steve could hear just a slight rasp to his voice.

"You remember when I finally kissed you for the first time? The rain hadn't stopped all day and we both looked ridiculous, kinda like now, and you were just pouting up at the sky, and I couldn't hold back. I can never hold back with you. I'll kiss you in the rain for the next 100 years if I live long enough to do it, sweetheart," Eddie said softly.

"Alright, kiss each other!"

"Aren't the rings next?"

"Robin has them, we can do that part later."

Eddie pulled Steve against him, fronts flush against each other.

"Think we could find somewhere to mess around in the rain?" he whispered against Steve's lips.

Steve's eyes flashed over to Nancy, who was already walking away.

"Kiss me and we'll see."

[night-dazai]

The Demon Never Died - 2

Dazai X Reader

Synopsis: you are stuck in a room tied up with rapists outside and Dazai has agreed to surrender to save you . Will your kidnappers let you go or not ?

Your head hurt , your hands burned and your whole body felt light but heavy and jelly like “ where am i ?” you thought trying to open your eyes to be blinded by colourful yellow and white lights . Your realised your hands were cuffed with metal handcuffs your legs tied with a soft rope kind of material and you sat in the middle of a bed in a motel kind of room . “M..motel ?” you mumbled to hear a voice , you turned your head in fear to see a tiny computer screen near the door “ she woke up boss “Someone spoke but not to you . You just sat trying to listen but soon the voices became to muffled you could not make out much . Wriggling your hands in those cuffs only hurt you , your brain still fuzzy kept playing all the bad memories Dazai calling you , men breaking into your house. Teras were threatening to spill but not wanting to cry infront of your kidnappers you turned your back to them facing the bed you sobbed crying your lover's name again and again . Its not like you did not have a family, you were brought up by your mom and dad for the past 20 years of your life and when you turned 19 they had to go to the US . You wanted to stay in Japan and thus you did . Meeting Dazai as one of the works of Fukuzawa was accidental but the moment you saw him you knew he could make you fall and you did fall . But what surprised the whole detective agency was that he fell for you too. The director who was your uncle's closest friend had a one-on-one meeting with you asking if you were okay with this , cause everyone knew the dangers around him and anybody in the agency . Why even Dazai tell you ; yet you chose him” why?” “Don't know “ you said making the bandaged man look at you confused “ Bella, I have a lot of past also and that might not be nice for a girl like you “ he said again his playful tone gone it was more like someone trying to order you . Which you hated the most “Dazai , i am not a very normal person also so dont worry i dont care “ . Not convinced he spoke again “ Darling i might to fight , and even it wont happen but ther-” he got cut with you flicking his forehead “ kill, dont care .” you took a sip of your coffee and spoke “ Do you know one thing “ your voice clam and soft and for the first you were opening up to him no opening up to a human , you also had you share of past trauma. “ A female hurt would just want to get out of that place thats what society has taught us , run away , dont make any more mistakes “ his brown orbs stared at you as you proceeded “ but after calming dow. You have no idea how we fell , we would rather have that person who hurt us even killed “ you paused realising how dark you went but little did you know it was nothing compared to how drak he was “ i mean that does mean i want to kill and stuff but if you are with me i can be sure i won't be hurt or harmed so dont worry and even if I am hurt you are here again so comfort me, “ you said opening your arms for a hug . Dazai got into your arms “Bella you are stuck “ he said nuzzling into your neck “he..ehst..stop” you said feeling all weird “ why dear we are couple “ he said looking up at you . “Dazai… “ you cried but now dry on tears decided to stall and make time for him to come and find you “ i am not your gf for no reason “ you mumbled and turned back to face the camera “what to do ?”

Dazai went into the bathroom after watching the video “its been 10 mins go get him “ Ranpo said making the blonde trun at look at him “ let him clam down first “ he said raising his glass. Everyone quietly started at the laptop screen where it played of video of you trying to remove the rope on your leg , they all heard you and saw you and soon the screen changed “ get us Dazai we will let this girl go unharmed like nothing happened but he should come to us alone and with no weapons and he should be tied up “ . The voice that spoke through the black screen was annoying and horse Athushi was fuming and Koyo who has never showed much emotion was fighting back the urge to break the laptop in front of her” is there any ability users with you ?” Tanizaki asked frowning with anger. “We dont , trust we are just normal people who hate him send him to us “ they said once again and before Ranpo could talk “ i will come , one condition i will bring another girl with me , she is not an ability user but she will take y/n from there and i will surrender, “ Dazai said coming into the room . His face had the most unreadable expression. Before everyone could protest Fukuzawa spoke “ he has to go if he wants to save her “ . The other side gave out a horrendous laugh before telling them the location to meet .

This is how he looks when telling them he agrees to come to the location .

I am sorry guys 😭😭😭I seem to be dragging this longer than I thought .

I will end this in the next part and you guys can wait for a part 4 which will be lovely seggs .

[cocoatonedcurls]

curly hair 101

hii :))

since "curls" is literally in my username, its only natural that I post about something for the curly girls :D

so why not start with a beginner's guide to curly hair :)

·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●·°●

in this guide

hair types/ curl patterns

wash day routine + products

regular hair care

hair styles + cuts

hair types

soo first of all i think its helpful if you get a gist of what hair type you have, e.g 2c, 3b, 4b etc...

its not mandatory and doesn't really mean anything but like it definitely aids when you're looking for haircair & inspo with hairstyles and haircuts and all that jazz 🤗 [ <- jazz hands :) ]

here's a chart to help you

obviously do some of your own research if you're unsure- this isn't very in-depth and doesn't use irl examples

also keep in mind that you can have multiple, and a wide range of types on one head LOLL like mine ranges from 2C -> 3C 🫣

(PS: this guide will be tailored to type 2 -> 3 hair just because that's what I have experience with and don't want to potentially ruin anyone's type 4 hair 😭 but if aspects of this apply then feel free to apply them 😇)

wash day routine + products

alrighty so i see some overcomplication/people being scared of curly hair washing- like looking at porosity and whatnot but IMO its really not that difficult

the only thing you really need to worry about for the washing aspect is getting moisturising (curly recommended) shampoo & conditioner, just cause if you don't it could dry out your hair and have a pretty dodgy finished product 😬 (I use Umberto Giannini for this)

washing is pretty standard:

wet your hair thoroughly, so that no part is dry

shampoo round 1, make sure to scrub thoroughly to get rid of any dirt and grime 🙈

rinse

shampoo round 2, this should turn your hair into its own bubble bath 🫧

rinse

condition, rake through your hair and make sure it is everywhere

let sit for a little bit, ~2 mins maybe

rinse

and thats it :))

don't use a regular towel, use a microfiber towel if you're using one at all so that all the moisture isn't drained from your hair before the rest of the products

now for the curly hair routine:

start with leave-in conditioner and run it through the entirety of your hair - I use Garnier leave-in, like the big tub

then run some curl cream through your hair and scrunch it in, make sure there is an even application throughout all the hair - I use the Shea Moisture curl cream

~ this next bit is optional because its a gel cast + styling but honestly id totally recommend going the extra mile for it cause it holds your curls for longer and makes ur hair softer ~

apply curly gel to your hair and scrunch it in, I use Aussie curl gel

for styling, I take the middle -> top sections of my hair, take some extra gel and finger coil the curls

let your hair air dry or diffuse

once completely dry, take some hair oil and scrunch it through your hair and separate any coils, I use argan oil

then you're done :))

regular hair care

there isnt really much to say here tbh

only that

if you need to refresh your curls, you should be able to do it just by finger-coiling with water

DON'T brush your hair while dry, it causes breakage

if you sweat, your hair will most likely get frizzy

to tie your hair use a scrunchie

sleeping with a bonnet helps reduce frizz but icl I don't 🫣

hair styles + cuts

okay let me preface this section by saying PLEASE PLEASE PLEASEEEE do some research about curly stylists in your area, I promise it will be worth it because curly hair cutting requires special training (despite the fact we've probably all cut our hair ourselves at some point 🙈)

now here are some things I usually ask for in a haircut:

a trim off the edges to keep my hair healthy (I have hair down past my shoulders)

2 or 3 layers to keep volume around my head so it doesn't look like a flat landslide...

some long bangs at the front to frame my face

obviously thats just me so do some extra research and see what you'd like

not much, but here are some hairstyles i usually do for everyday wear:

hair down (obviously 🤗)

high ponytail/bun with a few curls at the front

half up half down with a few curls at the front

thats basically all the basics 🙃

i know its hard to start on a curly hair journey especially if you don't know what you're doing, so if you are (or aren't) i hope this was able to help you in some shape or form 🫶🤗

- li 🌘

[sideblogdotjpeg]

hello unfortunately i thought even more about sol + swag as an analogy for being asian and it is . making me unwell. i am putting it under the cut for the main reason that it is stupid beyond belief

OK. so. hear me out .

STUPID REASONS WHY SOL IS ASIAN:

(and hint: this is all me projecting 100%)

1) moist frog who immediately turns off when it gets too cold. SOUTHEASTASIAN BOY AS FUCK (to me). guy who thinks thirty degrees celsius is pleasant temperature. guy who thinks that anything below 25C is sweater weather. guy who is soo sweaty and moist all the time (the humidity) and that is not only a natural state, but a preferrable state. 20 degrees is too cold. anything below 0 is actually not functional.

anyway. sol bufo. keepin it warm and gross. if its too cold and dry he immediately hibernates. king

2) idk if anyone reading this has seen shaolin soccer. but sol bufo. could clump shaolin soccer. essentially what im saying is sol bufo is like a buff asian jock. which is kinda goofy and goodnatured and loud and also very obnoxious. i cannot articulate this very well. but. what can i say except a human version of sol bufo was delivered to me in a dream and it was every buff chinese classmate ive ever met.

3) (you will notice the reasons get progressively more stupid and more deeply specific)

sol bufo would love milo. omg. like. chocolate drink in a juice box container that is branded as a sports/energy drink and also green. also the guy on the front of the packet milo. sol bufo coded. tbh

anyway. milo isnt strictly southeast asian..? but. yes it is actually.

4) the whole monk class is extremely steeped in asian 'aesthetics' anyway. i mean. ki. so whatever i can claim this monk for me thats my right

NONSTUPID BUT STILL KIND OF SILLY REASONS:

and this is also me projecting 100%. obviously all delusion. so i guess see this as a for-fun reading of the sol/swag storyline through the lens of a very specific of asianness

okay so. swag right. his journey is about leaving his home where he was comfortable and safe but also very confined. mothership lures him to ezry w the promise of opportunity & seeing the world, making something of himself. he ends up being exploited for his body and skills. and he runs away, but his blood still oils up the mothership cogs.

so anyway. i think its pretty clear how that cld map onto like . an immigrant experience? leaving home because of the need to find urself, but simultaneously, the threat of exploitation at the hands of ppl who see you as a potential profit to be mined. this is the first part

the part that is more crazy to me is his experience in irondeep. like, when he left moonstone he left his entire community. now hes alone ... and he cant go back. (he is stranded physically, emotionally). and at this low point, of true and utter loneliness and purposelessness, comes along bronzebeard industries. they offer him a job - but more importantly, they offer him connections.

like. thinking about how were introduced to swag. its not at his job, its his downtime, its when hes hanging out with his coworkers, when hes surrounded by 'friends'. w people who think hes cool, and the people who think hes a "sucker".

idk! but i think this also relates rlly strongly to a common experience of being international? like. when you know you are permenantly lost from home. what you want more than anything is to feel the same community and sense of belonging you used to have. and it is very easy for that desire to ge manipulated. (like - im just gonna mention the one specific instance that ive seen. which is like. international students on college campuses getting targeted a lot by christian groups. because they know those people are lonely and want a feeling of shared tradition and practice. anyway. this is one specific example but also this is literally what happens to lyddie and sister rosaline :-| )

anyway so in summary: swags story of hope/idealism, exploitation, and loneliness leading him to be a very good pawn. i think that is something that could potentially be read as the experiences of ppl dislocated internationally from their home. and im saying its asian because I Want To.

... and sol! okay. i think very simply: sol is super white-washed. total banana. and thats part of his character. he is a moonstone bullywug who never knew his own home, and still, has never even seen moonstone with his own eyes. he does not know his own history. (and kinda tangent, the place where he spends the majority of his life is in launchpad, a sanitized corporate version of reality. and i mean, the whole 'boy wizard and frog pal' is very clearly alluding to harry potter. like. its white.) but ignoring that, the essence of his character is like. this is a guy who does not know where he came from

and currently? a large part of his arc is about trying to unravel his identity by figuring out where (who) he came from. swag daniels is his one link to a community hes just now found out he has. that is a part of why hes trying so hard to save swag. swag is his family - specifically the parts about family you cant choose. that is hard, complicated and how you understand where the parts of yourself track back to.

like. i think a lot about how the pivotal moments of connection between swag and sol are all about swag... showing sol what moonstone is like. in a dream, he lets sol experience what that place is like. that place is a muggy swamp. idk. swag is taking sol back home. that fucks me up a lot

... anyway digression aside. i think one of the most painful things gg on rn w sols arc rn is. how its looking right now. sol is going to lose swag. sol is going to have to come to terms w losing swag. sol for the first time, yearns to know who he is and who he came from. but by the time he went looking it was too late. his time is up. that moment of connection was brief and gone. there are so many questions about their history that sol will never know now

so obviously this kind of dips a bit into metaphor at the end. swag represents connection to cultural history and heritage and identity. and in that lens, it reads to ME as a story abt being asian and disconnected from ur roots. but anyway. even without that lens i think sols story is still v much abt cultural estrangement

(i also have a very loose and unformed thought: which is that sols journey from wanting to stand out/be special to wanting to find a place of belonging. is ALSO INCREDIBLY RESONANT to the experience of being whitewashed asian... ESPECIALLY for ppl who do come from asia. and how that also relates to the tragedy of wanting to understand ur roots when its already too late. but . i dont rlly know if that is a common experience so. itll be noodling in my head for now)

anyway. my essay. and yes this is all make believe in my head . TLDR: i think swags an immigrant sols a banana and i am fucking insane thanks everyone

also if u read this all and want to know what part of this long ramble actly answers the question of why i think theyre asian. well. you know what.

[sickmachete]

HEY !! HERE ARE SOME RANDOM FIRE SAFETY TIPS !!

AVOID HILLS. seriously. the radiant heat coming off the flames pre-heats nearby grasses/fuels located above (heat rises!) which is what cause fires to "run" up hills lighting up long strips in the blink of an eye. you cannot outrun a fire that's chasing you up hill.

EVEN IF you are standing below the fire all it takes is one stray ember blown in the wind to start a fire below YOU and then you're really screwed. if you're caught on a hill, run to the side and (if possible) try to get to any charred/burnt zones behind the fire.

charred/already burnt black areas are safe zones. they will not easily re-burn and can become refuges to retreat to (but still be mindful of smoke inhalation).

healthy green grass lawns can also be temporary safe zones. the moisture held in lush grass makes it a lot more difficult to catch fire and can work as a temporary refuge in the case of a house fire. however, TO BE CLEAR: this does NOT apply to tall forest meadow-type grasses. when i say healthy grass im talkin like suburban manicured lawns okay? if your lawn is looking crusty dry brown then thats not gonna be a good place to run to.

most mild carbon monoxide poisoning (aka smoke inhalation) can be cured by simply taking in fresh air. severe smoke inhalation may require further medical treatment though.

fire needs FUEL + OXYGEN + HEAT in order to burn. if you removed ANY of these 3 things, the fire will go out. this is known as the fire triangle. the reason why water works against fire is mainly because it's cold, however it also helps by "drowning" the fire, depriving it of oxygen.

on this note!! if you're cooking and your food catches on fire inside the pan, DO NOT! pour water onto it!!!! that will only make it splash. what you're gonna wanna do is grab a pot/pan lid and gently slide it onto the pan. this will cut off its oxygen and put the fire out. DO NOT! slam the lid onto the pan!! this rush of wind/air could blow the fire right out of the pan and directly onto you/nearby furniture!

CHECK YOUR FIRE EXTINGUISHERS!!! please!! not all fire extinguishers are meant to be used on the same fire!!! while it can vary (and you should definitely look up the ratings for your own location/extinguishers) many of them will have specific class ratings written along the label. here in the USA, those ratings are in letter form (ie: Class A, Class B, Class C, Class D, and Class K). sometimes these ratings are combined (ie: Class ABC), meaning that a Class ABC fire extinguisher can be used on a Class A, B, or C fire.

FIRE EXTINGUISHERS AND THEIR ASSIGNED FIRES

CLASS A: these extinguishers should be used on wood/paper/plastic (ie: your basic trash fire).

CLASS B: these extinguishers should be used on flammable liquids (ie: alcohol, gas, petroleum, greasing oils <- not food oils though!!).

CLASS C: these extinguishers should be used on electrical fires (ie: sparking cables, your computer spontaneously combusted and is on fire, etc).

CLASS D: these extinguishers should be used on combustible metals (ie: magnesium, titanium, potassium, sodium, etc. if that metal shit in your garage is burning, use Class D).

CLASS K: these extinguishers should be used on flammable cooking oils/greases (ie: your stove is on fire, your barbecue's on fire, etc).

CLASS ABC: these extinguishers can be used on any of the Class A, B, or C material fires.

DO NOT USE THE WRONG EXTINGUISHER. they are labeled differently for a reason!!! a Class ABC extinguisher (for example) will make a Class K fire splash! you will cause that big old greasy fire to splash right back onto you!! Class K extinguishers are specifically designed to safely put out fires without disturbing the liquids/oils so please please please check the labels of your extinguishers.

AND REMEMBER TO "PASS" !!!

HOW TO USE A FIRE EXTINGUISHER — P.A.S.S.

PULL the pin in the handle.

AIM the nozzle at the base of the fire.

SQUEEZE the lever slowly.

SWEEP (across the base of the fire) from side to side.

[kaeyx]

Thinking about stepping on catchuus dick while he’s in heat. Hes in heat but hes too embarrassed to communicate that! (Poor babys really good at masking his emotions and needs) The look of shock in his eyes when you push him down to the floor one day out of pure irritation. Bros like “•.•” cause he cant process that youre being rough with him. Where did his kind master go, the one who put up with him even at his worst days?!!? The only way to get him to admit hes in heat is to edge him until hes whining like a desperate whore!

• chuu has been acting up lately for no apparent reason!

•feels way to embarrassed to initiate sex

•so embarrassed that you might wake up with bruised thighs from him humping them at night!

•ever since you took him in my poor baby hasn’t been able to get himself off without some kind of physical touch from you

•even when hes dry humping you at night, its so shameful. Hes been going at it for hours only in the end to have the weakest spurt of cum spill out of his aggravated tip!

•but the night he goes too far is when hes being a little pervert and watching you shower trying desperately to get himself off

•you catch him and inquire about what he was doing

•”awh baby were you touching yourself while watching your master clean himself, y’know you can come in and ill help you”

•He scoffs “y’know you’re not even that pretty. Don’t get ahead of yourself sir, i wouldn’t be that desperate in a million years especially not for you.”

•obviously he doesn’t mean a word of this! He was just so embarrassed that you caught him that he said the first mean thing he could come up with.

•however it doesn’t matter if he didn’t mean it, you’re seeing red

•” what. the. fuck. Did you just say to me”

•chuu fucked up big time

•you get out of the shower and push him down to the ground rolling your heel against his obvious boner

•”if im so ugly then why are you acting like such a fucking whore, i might not have a dick but i know they dont get that hard for just anyone”

•he’s only used to praise from you, but he’d be lying if he said you losing your control didn’t turn him on

•”Ngh! Fuck~ master please m’sorry!” He cries out

•when you try to interrogate him about why he said those things to you he just looks away with furrowed brows and flushed cheeks. (He is quite literally tucking his tail between his legs)

•it goes on like that for at least an hour. But he does break eventually

•hes humping the ball of your foot youve so generously offered while crying out and telling you how he forgot to take his heat repressors and how he was humiliated and didnt want to let you know

•tears running down his cheeks and an embarrassing amount of precum leaking from his tip

•”shhh its okay baby thats all you had to say”

•you whisper sweet things into his ears, but the praise you’re giving him doesn’t match up with the rough manner you’re stroking his cock

•he comes. HARD.

•thick white ropes of cum spilled one after the other from his weeping head

•cums so hard it almost reaches his neck!

•hes now desperately clinging to you whimpering and whining apologies

•”s-sir m’sorry! Jus’ wanted you. Youre so pretty sir, the best master i could ask for!”

•normally hed be to embarrassed to say these things, but hed just had one of the most intense orgasms of his life

•you rub his hair cooing “shh i know baby, jus’ dont do it again”

•falls asleep purring in your arms, slinging to you like he did when you first took him in

-🫙

(IM SORRY I GOT CARRIED AWAY, KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK ON YOUR WRITING)

AOUGH okay okay I'm putting this under a cut since the ask is long

Nah bc you're right, he'd be so good at hiding his heats. Or we can throw in some a/b/o and give him heat suppressants, sure! Either way you've never had to think about when heat season is coming, or you might not even know about it unless he's commented on it for whatever reason.

Also yes yes yes Chuuya snapping at someone when he's taken by surprise or feels defensive is so real to me. Crossing his arms and huffing even though his cheeks are red and you can see the outline of him in his pants, he's just going to double down and storm off. And try to finish himself off the second you're out of sight of course. Even if you'd had sex before he's suddenly initiating a lot less, not trying to coax you in for a kiss or anything at all, but always deflects when you ask him what's wrong.

Him grinding against your foot or leg is so hot too...or the heel of your boot even... clawing uselessly at the floor and bucking his hips, whining whenever you press down, dripping steadily onto his stomach. All that pent up cum shooting out far more violently than usual as he pants and moans so pretty, deep in his chest. Finally getting relief after so long of trying to rut into the space between your thighs while you slept.

[weirdfreakshow]

YIPPEEE COPY N PASTE BC I ALREADY WROTE IT IN YOUR ASKS 10 MINS AGO!!

okay, hear me out in s6 i feel like Grian would have a huge addiction to sh (due to past yhs/kov and probably family stuff that hasnt been resolved) and he would do it anywhere he could find privacy and time, sometimes he'd just let the blood drip off and dry because he was so desperate for the pain and harm, he did it alot around mumbo's place alot simply because he liked being around mumbo, and blood blends in with redstone (imo) and thats where we transition(🏳️‍⚧️/j) to mumbo, he has always had an odd fascination with blood imo. also mumbo has awful self asteem thinks he is shitty all the time and thinks hes dumb if he fails even 1 thing (was deff pressured as a child+labled gifted and got burnt out), he also deff has seen some stuff on the internet and thats how he heard of self harm, over the time it became a thing that he did more often, definitely not as much as Grian though, But mumbo always kept a stainless steel razor blade in one of his pockets if he ever needed it. One day Grian was cutting himself in a more risky area late at night (11pm-1am)and mumbo caught him (in Sahara's redstone area maybe? idk) grian was cutting with a super shitty blade but he still managed to get good results. mumbo noticing the shitty blade walks up to grian and this scares the SHIT out of grian bc hes been caught by not so nice ppl b4, he thinks hes about to get yelled at or something but instead mumbo pulls a new blade out of his pocket and gives it to grian says something like "use this instead, i dont want you to get tetanus or something" bc i feel like hes a bitch abt being healthy in that way/lh(paranoid) grian took the blade thankfully but also shocked bc like mumbo jumbo? self harm? thats kinda gay😕/j (im a fag dw) also mumbo was also wearing short sleve so his cuts and scars were showing too (he took off his hoodie(its night hes not wearing his suit) to show grian "hey same dude"). Grian unwrapped the blade and asked he he could continue, MJ said yes and pulled out his own blade and joined grian.

Thats how they had their first cutting sesh together:3

HCs for this: Grian usualy does bean cuts and Mumbo does a bunchh of styros / cat scratches, he's done bean b4 but it made him almost pass out. Grian was deff Scene once and showed off his scars. Grian and Mumbo get high together all the time (and maybe a little toutchy 🤭🤭🤭).

ough i wanna make this like . a mini fic or something

also Grian and Taurtis totaly cut eachother for the funzies all the time

this is so big brain, and so extensive I don't feel like I'd be able to add anything substantial to it, but I'd like to say that I just love the image of Mumbo always carrying one or two new, fresh razors on the pocket of his suit. Something about it, about not really feeling ashamed of cutting but still having them hidden under the sleeves of his pristine suit. I also think of him having a strange fixation with everything red. From redstone, to red foods, to blood. Watching the cuts form, especially if they're clean, made with a sharp enough object it's just like cutting through butter. He finds it so satisfying in such a strange way, scratches his brain that perfect way he didn't know he needed.

Grian, shaky and afraid of being judged before Mumbo just places a shiny razor in his palm. So good.

Might not be accurate at all, but just thinking of .. Cuts giving Mumbo a sense of euphoria while they give Grian a sense of control.

"Mumbo has seen some shit on the internet" oh I KNOW that guy watched copious amounts of gore. He likes watching beans cuts but he just doesn't have the endurance to handle them, unlike Grian. A total expert, huh.

Can't help but acknowledge the mentions of yhs. I'm sure Grian learned from Sam, i KNOW Grian found Sam cutting more than once. Sam would be COVERED in scars too, always. He pushed Taurtis to cut for the first time too, insulting him in so many ways that taught him to hate himself, hate his own body ♡ so much fun

[jonathanbiers]

some argyle and steve besties/hair thoughts: similarly to steve, argyle takes Very good care of his hair. the process isnt as extensive as steve, but hes careful with it. its his baby. so, steve and argyle start hair care buddies, eventually starting a tradition of picking a day every month thats reserved for hanging out and doing hair care, or trying out new styles on each other (these days also include other spa activities like face masks and nice robes). sometimes eddie joins them if he can be convinced (which isnt that often fjhbd) and afterwards they get high and watch stupid movies, just de-stressing and enjoying each others company

i saw this while i was at work and it made me smile so big i can't even tell you!! this is so fucking cute. i think steve and argyle would be GREAT friends this is so far up my alley okay i have some things to add though

steve is the one who introduces argyle to skincare past the basic 'just wash your face.' the moisturizers, the masks, all of that. and argyle's got pretty good skin already but this makes it so soft and smooth

argyle in turn introduces steve to hair oils! argyle's hair is so long that at a certain point just conditioning doesn't cut it, it's really hard to keep it from getting dry, so he started using them. when steve complains about some of the styling products he uses drying out the ends of his hair, argyle is like listen man i got you

it's widely accepted among the lot of us that steve is touch-starved, right? well this is such a great way for him to just. receive some platonic physical affection. he'll brush argyle's hair and then argyle will comb his, one time argyle gave him a hot oil scalp massage, they'll joke around and nudge each other around, argyle catches on to how much steve likes just being touched and he always greets him with a hug now. if he notices steve's particularly stressed or down, they'll cuddle while they watch whatever movie.

they end up coming out to each other and confiding about their crushes on eddie and jonathan, and reassuring each other that no, they do have a chance and should totally go for it!

they try out new styles on each other, yes, but a lot of them are silly! one time, argyle gives steve liberty spikes, and steve teases argyle's hair and tells him he looks like one of the guys from the metal bands eddie likes

one day steve is braiding argyle's hair and he just seems kinda down. argyle asks him what's wrong, and steve wistfully explains that he wishes eddie would let him braid his hair like this. the very next time they're able to convince eddie to join them, argyle all but bullies him into letting steve do just that. and if steve doesn't notice the way eddie blushes when steve's hands are in his hair, argyle sure does, and he tells steve next time he sees him alone that he's got to make a move already!

no matter what else they've got going on, no matter what plans have to be moved around, hair day is sacred bro time to them, and they never ever cancel it. at most, it might get pushed back a few days.

[cathartic-crypt]

Your courier facts NOW 🔫

OKAY!!!!!!!!

he is THE number one sunset sarsaparilla fan. literally he drinks it religiously. he literally based his new identity on a sunset sarsaparilla ad when he left goodsprings

like he saw that ^ and went "o_o he is literally me" and decided to be a cowboy

he has the animal friend perk.he loves animals. hes illiterate but he loves to draw and he carries around a sketchbook filled with drawings of all the animals hes ever met. he likes to use watercolour the most b/c it stays dry in his bag and its super compact and easy to carry

he loves shiny things. shiny ANYTHING, in fact. notices something sticking out of the ground thats vaguely interesting??hes picking that bitch up and taking it with him

have i mentioned he went from courier to cowboy? b/c yea. woke up from goodsprings not remembering anything, being a nobody, and decided to build himself up from nothing into a something :)

he also cuts his own hair..which is why he has a bunch of longer strands just sticking out. not the neatest thing in the world, but thats ok

[specialmouse]

I’ll see posts like “if youre pro-kink you have to be okay with incest rape raceplay ageplay kinks etc” and i just… dont agree. Do i think that people who are into those things should like.. die? Or be reported to the police? Not in most cases, i don’t think it’s that cut and dry. But to act like you’re some backwards thinking puritan for saying hey that person talks about fucking dogs or that person wants to fuck someone who is pretending to be five years old and thats weird is like. Man cmon. Theres a reason people think those things are weird and its because generally those things have an inherent, abusive power imbalance when they occur outside of a kink setting such that it scars people for the rest of their lives. People are gonna be wary of that it’s like being afraid of snakes. I dont think we need to like, make masterposts of some random trans women talking about wanting to fuck their brother or whatever the fuck happened last year but i also dont think we need to be saying youre “anti kink” or a “puritan” for thinking that shit is fucked up either

[cowboy-robooty]

Robooty Reviews: Oni To Tengoku (8.9/10) ROBOOTY PERSONAL FAVORITE

(in my heart its a 10/10)

Atsurou Aoki is an english teacher who has some mad fuckin self esteem issues. hes our beautiful pathetic man protag and he ends up tangled up in a relationship of sorts with the school nurse, Manabu Tengoku. Its a dry premise and honestly the first volume requires you to sludge through a lot of average yaoi evil shit but please please please im begging you endure okay. i have been an oni to tengoku-er since 2019 and ive been following the development of the sequel (oni to tengoku sai) and the (now third) sequel (oni to tengoku kyuu) of this series and GOD. ILL BE REAL IM A MANIAC AND PROBABLY GOT A LOT MORE OUT OF THIS SERIES THAN THE AUTHOR INTENDED AT ALL BUT IDGAF PLEASE READ IT PERHAPS YOU CAN EXPERIENCE THE SAME ENLIGHTENING AS ME. READ MORE HAS SPOILERS BE WARNED (PART 1 CUZ OF TUMBLR IMAGE LIMIT)

this will be a little different than usual because i have a whole lot to say about aoki and tengoku. Really, a lot of this will be just talking about how and why i like their relationship so if you end up liking this you should most definately read the full manga to experience it for yourself

Despite all the fuckin bullshit of the first volume, the manga is really fucking good at interweving in its core themes and setting up the psychological basis of Aoki. Aoki was abused by his mother as a child, but i think the depiction of abuse is really realistic because even though she whittles down his self esteem and makes him feel worthless she hugs him afterwards and still is motherly towards him, this aoki doesnt hate his mother and fully cut her off per say but she is a demon to him. its pretty realistic imo where parents can do awful things but they buy you a donut and then its like ermm well.. they bought me a donut and do this in my best interest so its okay. Aoki is fucked in the head though. because he doesnt feel like he can be loved deep down and his entire career path is something he chose only because it was expected of him by his family (and his entire life is grasping at straws in an attempt to not disappoint people)

he wants more than anything to just not be an embarassment and be "worthy" of being loved. I like how this is depicted because again it feels more realistic in that he isnt outwardly a freak about it or anything he doesnt have breakdowns in public or anything thats enough to warrent himself to feel like he needs to get help. but he definately does need help of some sort because his way of thinking and the constant guilt and shame he feels is just something thats normal to him now. hes just tired and a bit worn down, but its not like anything is exceptionally bad, since humans are surprisingly adaptable and hes just lived with feeling like hes an embarassment who disappoints people his entire life so its norm.

Tengoku obviously doesnt mean it in the way aoki is taking is. but its things like this that make the themes feel well interwoven to me. Aoki doesnt look tengoku in the eye and say "i have mommy issues and feel like being an embarassment is the reason i cant be loved" but he still shows it in a way that we the audience can see he means, since we can put together aoki's lifestyle and viewpoint from his inner dialogues and flashbacks to his mother's abuse. Aoki wants more than anything else to be a good boy because only good boys can be loved. and unfortunately for aoki san this kind of means he has developed a praise kink and good boy fetish which tengoku just naturally leans towards so erm haha tengoku just pushing those buttons all willy nilly!

Tengoku isnt an idiot though, as he pursues aoki he can definately connect the dots and all that shit for how aoki ticks. This isnt exactly hard to do anyways, since aoki passively talks about himself to tengoku during non crazy scenes and its not like hes an enigma or anything because again, he thinks that the way he lives is completely normal for a guy like him. Tengoku likes aoki and chases him and aoki isnt exactly a willing participant. Tengoku likes aoki because hes a fun plaything and interesting and pure hearted and everything tengoku is not and aoki begins to form an affection for tengoku because he itches the mental illness brain damage spot by pursuing and wanting him consistently and not getting bored.

These panels are true brain damage pages because it hits upon how all aoki wants is for someone to look at him directly and still want him. His greatest wish (that he doesnt even believe could come true at the bottom of his heart) is to have someone that could see him for who he is and despite all his flaws. despite how hes useless, despite how hes not good at anything (to him), despite how hes bad at relationships, despite how he cant talk with other people, and despite what an embarassment he is, still love and want him. Seriously, I must recommend you to read this for yourself. Theres the yaoi bullshit sludge but every chapter has bits and pieces of Aoki's mindset that is an insanely good representation and depiction of how that kind of mentality and acceptance is like.

Volume 2 is where things really pick up. Yaoi sludge has been toned down to make way for FUCKING SWAG!!!! the set up for aoki's mentality is done now were onto getting into the way tengoku and aoki's personalities actually interact with eachother. Along with dipping into tengokus crazy bitch syndrome

Over this volume, were shown that actually aoki and tengoku are a good match for eachother. At least, tengoku provides something special for aoki in that he doesnt know from personal experience the feeling of needing to earn love, but because of that he bounces off well with aoki because he shows basic interest in going "well your feelings and thoughts do matter though. youre a person too". this isnt explicitly said, but its little things liks this that end up making aoki fall in love with him. Aoki falling in love with tengoku is also interesting because this is his first time actively liking someone else because its what he wants, not because its what the other person expects. Despite how terrible their relationship was at first, it set a ground where Aoki was able to create a strong connection with someone without the initial fear of disappointing them since he even didnt like tengoku at first. Honestly with the way Aoki is I think that is why hes able to love tengoku out of his volition, since he already has shown his shameful parts to him and tengoku still wants him-- in fact tengoku is the only person who has seen Aoki's shame and refused to let him go, this lets Aoki take a breather and think about what HE desires for once instead of how to keep someone with him or do whats good for the other person/not shameful.

Also a new teacher is introduced who actually is one of the many guys Tengoku had play-boyed before who became a teacher just so he could try to win tengokus love lol. but he serves as a plot device for that yaoi jealousy arc WOOOHOOOO! I love the jealousy chapter a lot though because BOTH CHARACTERS experience jealousy in their own way. I'm not sure if what Aoki experiences can be classified under jealousy or not, but ill just say it is because thats easier. The chapter is wonderfully done though because see Tengoku has always been the one who chases Aoki but also the one who reminds him that he doesnt fall in love this is just a sex playboy thing. Aoki is the one who has fallen in love and does show this by treating Tengoku specially, but Tengoku obviously doesnt reciprocate this since the way he acts at least is more like Aoki is his favorite of a bunch of toys rather than his one and only like how Aoki sees him. Aoki feels bitterness over this because he wishes he could be loved by Tengoku since Tengoku is somewhat wishy washy and gives Aoki just enough to keep hope but also smushes that hope by refusing a drop more. (this is done though bc this is fucking yaoi ofc tengoku loves aoki to bits and pieces back but tengoku is just scared of liking aoki too much and showing it too much but hold on we havent gotten to tengokus insanity yet jeeeesus christ!). Also im kind of at the tumblr 10 image limit but I think showing these next three pages are really important so ermm me when i post this and then add a reblog or two with MORE BULLSHIT. I'll properly tag the versions with my reblogs

[random-potato-mil]

So I watched Asher Gharavi new shorts video about The Mourner and it send my brain in a creative spiral.

I don't write very often and mostly for school, but I felt like writing this down. Dosent have anything to do with the short other than the concept of the mourner and how it works.

So if you wanna read that it's under the cut:

Tw: mention of dead, illness and similar

Sry for spelling mistakes I can't be bothered to fixed them.

They say that stories live forever and i suppose thats the reason im writing this. One last story so there is still a part of me left when im gone.

The stories call it the mourner. A creature with a human like siluote. If you see it from a distance it would fool you, but when it is right in front of you its a diffrent story. Its eyes are long and dripping, red around the edges, with a milky dust color. No iris. And its skin is cracky like old dry wall, its limps seeming unable to hold themselves up. It would look completly dead if not for the slow rythmic moves of its body when it breathes.

You probably already know what it means when someone has seen the mourner, but this is not some heart warming victory story of narrowly avoding my own dead and living to tell the tale. No. The mourner is still here with me as i write.

However before going any furtere with my story i need to confess something. I dident belive the mourner was real. I thought it was just some tale told to scare kids or some mass hallucination. It seems more likely that peopel experiencing near death events starts hallucinating and sees the creatures that they have been told would show up. But it does exists. At least i dont want to belive its an hallucination. It calms me. I know i know. Most peopel describe it as beeing scary and feeling fear as they see it. And i understand why someone would feel that way. Beeing scared of the mourner. But you cant really blame it for how it looks.

When it came my first thoughts was something of the lines of "guess its my time now". That might sound very depressing but i have known for a while i dident have a lot of time left. The doctors have increased my medication recently and i am stuck in bed. I do get visits and see the nurse's then and there, but it still feels very lonely. And do know i dont blame anyone for me feeling this way. I know they are sparring all the time they can to come check on me, despite it not beeing a pretty version of me to remember. My grandkid Brielle couldent even regonise me with all the tubes, and hided behind her mom. She is such a sweet little girl, and it broke my heart.

I suppose that might have influenced my reaction to the mourner. Despite its looks it reminded me of some etheral mother forced to see its children pass away. All the stories of survivers telling that the mourner helped them escape their fate made alot more sense after i saw it myself. It looked like it wanted to help. To change my fate. But it was simply unable too.

The mourner took a seat at the bed next to mine, and laid a hand on the blanket that hugged me. Its dripping eyes looking at me sadly. I think it might have been crying for me. Is crying for me. It stayed silent. After a bit i gathered enough strength to say a weak "your real" though a few coughs and give my best smile. A sad smile.

The mourner hasent left my side since then, and i do enjoy the company. I do feel my power weaken and my body giving away to this diseases growing inside of me, but im not scared. I think it will be okay on the other side.

Call me naive but seeing the mourner has given me the belief in the supernatural. If it can exists why not an afterlife?

I suppose the moral of the story is that you shouldent be scared of the mourner. It dosent mean any harm. And to my daughter. I love you. You have grown into a wonderful adult. Im sorry i wont be able to be with you in the future. You got this.

Love

- Gran