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aros001 · 3 years ago

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First time read through light novel vol. 6. Random thoughts.

Hey, can you guess what my favorite episode of the anime is? Here's a hint: it's one apparently a lot of other Subarem shippers hate. I say f**k that! Episode 18 and this book made me love the idea of them as a couple even more! But we'll get to that in a minute.

“By conducting these negotiations, you bear Emilia’s fate on your shoulders. Naturally, everything you say affects her, and it carries the same weight as Emilia’s words. This is not a decision you should make lightly, nor are the words you say easily taken back.”

“...Ah, uh...”

“Moreover, I ask again—should you owe me in this matter, it will mean the defeat of the Emilia camp. Are you truly fine with this?”

It really brings into the focus the problem of Subaru calling himself Emilia's knight without thinking and why the actual knights took such offence to it. At best it was a gimmick with no actual meaning to him and at worst he wanted all the rewards that came with being a knight (or at least what he perceived as the rewards) and not any of the responsibility. That's basically the reality Crusch is making Subaru face; the true burden that is on the one who claims to be Emilia's representative. Being a knight isn't just a game or a fancy title. Whatever he does will heavily impact his lady's future and he never once considered that.

“You hate the Witch Cult. That’s the reason you approached Emilia, is it not?”

Damn.

“—You have not said, ‘I want to save Emilia,’ even once.”

Daaaamn. Obviously, we know the witch cult has nothing to do with why Subaru wanted to hang around Emilia, but it's really telling of his current state that that's what it looks like from the outside. His hatred for Petelgeuse is stronger than his love for Emilia.

The fact that Roswaal has twice now been absent during events that his presence could easily have prevented tragedy is incredibly suspicious. Especially during the mansion arc, where he only left the mansion during the loop Subaru had made a lot of progress in finding the shaman and thus, unlike the previous loops, could have warned him about what was about to happen. It feels like Roswaal is intentionally removing himself as to invite disaster upon his house and Emilia, likely to manipulate her and Subaru.

Priscilla is an oddity to me, because she really feels like someone I should dislike more than I do, as I tend to have an instant dislike for very bratty, entitled, and/or spoiled characters. I'm not sure what it is specifically that's lifting her up so much for me. It's not just the looks, because I've seen attractive female characters I've hated because of their brattiness (I think she and Bitch princess from Shield Hero share the same english voice actor, in fact). I think that, one, there is just this sense of fun and amusement when Priscilla's around, like I just want to see whatever she does next, and two, despite her attitude, I'm not really getting a feeling of shallowness from her. She doesn't feel like she's putting people down just to prop herself up. There is actual strength and depth to her.

Rem followed behind both of them, and he could hear noises coming from her nose every so often. Rem had a keen sense of smell, and she’d apparently picked up some kind of unsavory scent, staring at the back of the iron helm as they walked along.

Well, Al is from another world like Subaru, so it wouldn't be surprising if he also had the witch's scent attached to him, assuming his situation is anything like Subaru's.

“Don’t be silly. You’re Ram, right?”

“I am Rem... Forgive my rudeness, but where have you met Sister, Master Al?”

Rem explained how he’d mistaken her for her nearly identical older sister as she posed the question. However, Al made no reply. He raised up his one arm and touched his helm, busily poking the metal.

“What the hell’s goin’ on here...?”

Al sounded nervous, seemingly unable to process the information. The increasingly rapid tapping offered further proof.

“So you’re Rem...and your sister is Ram?”

“Yes, that is correct.”

“This might be a weird thing to ask but...is your older sister alive?”

“...? I do not understand the meaning of your question. Sister is alive, as she should be.”

The instant Rem gave that answer, Subaru, who had been listening to the conversation in silence, felt goose bumps all over his flesh.

“—This ain’t funny.”

Well...that got a lot of theory wheels turning in my head. I was already wondering if Al had his own Return By Death ability, so it's certainly possible he'd met Ram before a restart, though why he'd mix up her and Rem, I'm not sure. Another possibility is that he's maybe experienced Subaru's own RBDs, so while he can't trigger the ability himself he retains his memories from the original timelines. We've seen timelines where Ram has died but also one back at the mansion where only Rem died. Of course, there's also the possibility this story is going to go full Futurama: Bender's Big Score and Al is going to turn out to be a future version of Subaru sent back to the past.

That damn whale is like something out of a horror movie. I don't tend to care for gory horror but I do like movies with unique monsters and killers, so I could easily see myself getting into a movie about a giant flying whale that appears in a dark fog and basically consumes the entire existence of whatever it eats, including its past presence in the world. It's not just memories being erased. The person themselves never was.

You can tell the story is doing a good job of connecting when I know full well that Subaru's going to have another RBD and that everything's going to be fine and I'm still tearing up over Rem basically sacrificing herself to hold off the whale and Subaru is realizing he's allowed her to die four times over.

Huge difference between the books and the anime, as I'm pretty sure in the anime Puck just killed Subaru in the room Emilia died in. There was no bringing her to the witch cult's hidden cave like there was here.

“Unable to even pass a single trial, not even facing a single Deadly Sin, bearing great expectations only to stumble over the first stone in her path...”

The madman looked down at the sleeping Emilia, sighing.

“—Ahh, you were lazy!”

Curious as to what he meant by all that. Now that I think about it, I don't think it's been revealed yet the specific reason the witch cult went after Emilia. Yes, she looks like the Witch of Envy but it that a bad thing or a good thing to the cult? Do these "trials" she was supposed to face have to do with the dragon and royal selection or the witch?

I don't think they said why Subaru can now see Petelgeuse's previously unseen hands. I think I saw a theory about how Subaru's connection with the witch grows stronger with each RBD, beyond just the scent, so he might simply has just accumulated enough EXP to finally level up into seeing them. Then again, I did love Subaru's mocking line to Petelgeuse that the witch has been "cheating" on him with Subaru, so it's certainly possible he just has more of Satella's affection than Petelgeuse and thus he gets more special perks from her.

And finally, we get to the talk between Subaru and Rem at the end. Funny thing, when I first started watching the anime, someone I knew who'd seen it before me told me that, one, it's very different from Isekai Quartet, which introduced me to the characters, so don't go in expecting a comedy, and two, that episode 18 has a Subaru moment that a lot of people hate. Given how the arc had been since before that episode and how Subaru kept falling further and further, I had no idea what was going to happen or what was worse than what he'd already done that'd get people to hate him so much.

And it turns out it's just because of a shipping war. I'm still not sure if I should feel relieved or annoyed. Yeah, I ship Subaru and Rem over Subaru and Emilia, but hating this part of the story just because he still loves Emilia? I feel like everything else except for that one line gets ignored (the line I'm avoiding saying because I don't want a bot to flag this post) and that the lack of all context except Subaru loving Emilia while Rem loves him destroys a lot of why the scene works.

There's just so much to talk about with why I love this part between Subaru and Rem. I'm a big fan of superhero stories and a classic trope I love is when things get dark and everything is brought to its lowest point...only for the hero to make a comeback. And Subaru... The man is broken. He's given up. Not only has he experienced death, failure, and futility multiple times, he's seen the people he cares about be completely slaughtered, with Rem dying, being mutilated, and even erased to protect him and Emilia, the woman he loves, dying directly because of him. He's powerless to change anything, or at least everything he does change seems to just make things worse. He sees himself as selfish, greedy, and arrogant; that he never actually cared about anyone other than himself. He's just spewing all this very justified self-hatred...and Rem counters it perfectly, not saying a single thing that isn't true about what she loves about him. Last volume had her imagining running away with Subaru, so the possible life with him she talks about isn't just something she's pulled out of the air. It's something she's considered and wants, which means it has actual weight when she turns him down.

I think another reason Rem connects to Subaru so much is because she's no stranger to self-hatred. She's also seen her own existence as a blight on everyone and everything around her. That she's selfish and terrible. And the person who helped pull her out of that state, at least somewhat, and get her to start liking herself was Subaru, which is what she's doing for him now. It's what I love so much about the relationship between these two. It's not just that they've saved each others' lives. They've helped each other in incredibly personal ways, despite the fact that neither fully knows what the source of the other's pain is. Subaru doesn't know what Rem felt as she watched Ram's horn get cut off. Rem doesn't know about Subaru's RBD and constant failures. They didn't need to. They simply knew the other needed help and they gave it, with no strings attached. It's why, despite me shipping them together, I'm not upset that Subaru doesn't return Rem's love (yet?) in the same way. There was a great bit of art I saw of the moment, and the words alongside it were "I didn't say I love you to hear it back. I said it so that you would know." Despite her still having some issues, being a little too subservient and obsessed with Subaru, I can believe Rem's love for him is real. When Subaru hated himself and believed everyone else did too, Rem told him that she loved him, not to get anything back out of it, but simply because she wanted him to at least have that to hold onto.

Rem was clearly at least a little upset at the end of their talk, and I can see it being some regret that she turned him down or that he does still love Emilia more, and I'm fine with that. She did the right thing and she is happy the real Subaru is back, but her being a little sad afterwards keeps her human (even if she's a demon).

Honestly, while I do ship them, I think both did make the right call. If or when they hook up, it should be when there's no lingering doubts or regrets they're carrying with them. Where they can have a future where they can smile together and with everyone in their lives they love and can't just abandon. Plus, I want to see Ram as an aunt to Subaru and Rem's kid! That sounds amazing!

And Subaru saying he loves Emilia, even after Rem poured her heart out to him...well, yeah, of course he does. He just found out Rem loves him and has had no time to process it (he was trying to run away with her out of fear and guilt, thus why she turned him down). If his feelings for Emilia were that easily swayed then it'd be hard to say that they were ever that strong or real to begin with, and thus what would have been the point of everything he's been through? It's not like he said it to hurt Rem. Hell, here and in the anime he sounds pretty apologetic as he says it, because he knows it'll hurt her to hear it and he doesn't want that. But it is the truth. So I'm not going to get mad at him for it. It's consistent with his character and everything he's been through and lead to great character moments for both him and Rem. What's there to be angry about?

But yeah, there was a little bit of it in the last chapter but I'm soooooooo looking forward to next volume. I remember just the feeling of hype and "F**k yeah!" going through my chest on my first watch of the anime. Subaru, after hitting his absolute lowest point, pulling himself together with Rem's help and gathering up everything he's got to fight back against the previously hopeless situation and save the day. It made all that heartache and misery so worth the wait.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gr9y77/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_6/

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aros001 · 3 years ago

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First time read through light novel vol. 11. Random thoughts.

I'm trying to think if there's been any noticeable pattern to what gets set as a Save Point for Subaru's Return By Death and thus maybe figure out if there's anything specifically that sets it off.

The first was after he met the sour faced fruit merchant, whom I believe was the first person he interacted with after being summoned to a new world

The second was in the mansion after he met Beatrice but before he met Rem and Ram.

Third was in the middle of the market with Rem, after he and Emilia had split ways (and I think after he and Crusch had their talk over drinks the prior night?)

Fourth was after the defeat of the White Whale, after the injured left and reinforcements arrived

Fifth was at Rem's bedside after she fell into a coma

And now, the sixth time, it's inside Echidna's tomb, after he passed the first of the three trials but Emilia has yet to.

I suppose it's certainly possible there were other events that got set as Save Points that we never got to see because Subaru didn't die until he'd set a new Save Point that overwrote it. The only real solid clue we have is what Echidna says:

“What it seeks is that your fate is not held captive to a dead end. The Authority is a means to that end and thinks nothing of the harm to anyone beyond you. Employing this power to save others is strictly your own doing, your own desire... The Witch of Envy has nothing to do with it.”

So perhaps the save points are set where and when Subaru would have the best chance of overcoming the obstacle that kills him, or more specifically the general event that does, since he's been killed in different ways and yet still returned to the same starting point. That would explain why we've yet to have a save point set while he's been travelling and thus would be unlikely to be able to change anything.

“Emilia-tan, it’s okay. When you send trouble my way, it’s not a bother. Helping you is what I want to do. More importantly, you didn’t hit anything when you fell down, right? If you did, I can give it a really gentle rub.”

“Mm. Seems like I hit my butt a bit when I went down. It feels a little numb...”

If I didn't know Emilia then that would have been a great attempt at flirting by her.

Well, I see why people like Otto so much now and way people were a bit sore on his parts in season 1 being cut short. Subaru could use all the friends he can get and Otto's a genuinely good and brave guy, going in to save Subaru like that even with Garfiel looking him.

“Hmm, you’re a pretty useful guy. I seriously don’t understand why you come off like such a flake.”

“Could you decide whether you want to praise me or insult me, and just pick one?!”

“Why are you such a flake? That’s, like, an incredible, unspeakable flaw for someone?”

“Why did you pick insults?!”

Especially when Subaru talks to Otto sometimes I feel like I can really see the big sister influence of Ram on him. He's starting to take after her well-meaning bullying.

Weird random thought, but given that Otto's blessing lets him "communicate" with all living creatures and help him achieve a mutual understanding with them, does that mean he could have potentially communicated with or at least understood the White Whale? Don't get me wrong, it wouldn't have helped him survive the encounter, but I am curious.

“ Barusu.”

“......What is it?”

“Could you...leave us alone for a little while?”

“—Sure.”

It was neither an order nor a demand from Ram. It was a simple request.

What does it say about how paranoid this series has made me that I was immediately worried Ram wanted to be alone with Rem so that she could kill her under orders from Roswaal or something like that? And given that we never see Rem after that, that insane theory still very well could be the case. Beatrice simply says that Subaru's reason for wanting to go back to that room is no more, implying Rem is dead, but she never specifically says that Elsa killed her. It just feels like another bit of suffering the series would toss on him like a wet mattress.

But regardless, definitely a tug at the heartstrings with the two sisters meeting again and us seeing even more how Ram has no memories of Rem, especially when she offers the idea of sacrificing Rem to Elsa "for Master Roswaal's sake", claiming it's what Rem herself would have said. After having such a breakdown after Rem died in one of the mansion arcs, it's rough to think that this is the same Ram, but it does make sense and isn't contrived. She doesn't know who Rem is anymore so it's not out of character. Though she might still have some instincts and deeply ingrained feelings that the archbishop of gluttony couldn't completely remove, given certain lines she says.

“...It would seem that your skill at making tea has not improved in my absence.”

“My, even though pouring tea is my specialty. What an uncharming girl you are.”

“I do not need to be charming. Ram is plenty cute enough. Any more so and the world would be imperiled.”

“Truly, your tongue is as sharp as ever! Goodness...how very like you.”

Ah, I love a good back and forth bitch v. bitch dialogue. Seriously, like I said in my previous posts, I never disliked Ram in the anime but I definitely have gotten way more attached to her through these books. She is easily the funniest character thus far in the series and her bullying yet caring sisterly relationship with Subaru is very enjoyable.

I'm looking forward to (and hoping for) a lot more Beatrice scenes in the next volume. Stuff between her and Subaru is always great and it'll be nice to know exactly what her deal is.Especially as I remembered what Subaru had forgotten Roswaal had said to say to her, though obviously given the situation I can't blame him much for not thinking clearly. It was about to be the man's third time committing suicide and second time doing it in front of poor Beatrice.

You know, just when I'm wondering how Subaru's various lives and deaths can get any worse, he then watches a bunch of people he cares about whom are trying to protect him get slaughtered by a giant man-tiger, only for him to be later eaten alive by a f**king rabbit. I am going to reference that plot-point out of context sooooooooooo many times when talking to people about Re:Zero whom haven't seen it yet.

That was why Subaru thrust his hands onto the table, drawing near enough to the Witch’s face he could feel her breath, and made a firm declaration.

“If you need compensation, I’ll pay anything else. In return—”

Subaru, buddy, that is a bad thing to say to magical deal makers. You NEVER want to tell the other party they can have whatever they want without first confirming what specifically that is.

I cannot tell you how happy I was for Subaru that he was able to tell Echidna about RBD with (seemingly) no penalty. It's a very mature thing for the story to know that the thing Subaru needed and wanted more than anything was just someone to talk to about all the horrors he's been through, which is something not even Rem could offer him, though she and Emilia no doubt wanted to.

“I am sure that you, too, understood long ago. The power to rewind death... No, the power to deny you the peace of death, could only come from Envy.”

Also now pretty much exact confirmation that Satella is behind Subaru's RBD, though it is still technically speculation, even if it's coming from another witch. Though I am curious what Echidna means that such power could only come from envy. Given envy generally refers to feelings of discontent over what others possesses, I wonder if that means Satella can't die and thus won't let Subaru die either. Or if we're going with envy = jealousy, as is a pretty common mistake, that maybe a permanent death would take Subaru away from Satella and thus that's why she won't let him stay dead.

“Daphne cannot move freely, so Daphne made the Centipede Coffiiiin for thaaat. It moves from Daphne’s sweat and pee, very convenient, yeees?”

What is with these witches and their bodily fluids?!

“—? The bigger a creature is, the more people it can feed, riiight?”

“—Uh, wha?”

The thoroughly mystified look on Daphne’s face brought Subaru’s forceful, sharp recriminations to a halt. When, as her demeanor rendered his vigor fruitless, he murmured, Daphne inclined her head even farther as she said,

“The White Whale, it’s big, right? A lot of people could be satisfied from eating it.”

“What are you...”

“The Great Rabbit, weeell...they just multiply more and mooore. As long as it’s around, no one will go hungryyy. Isn’t that wooonderful?”

Hey, neat, I was right! ...Sort of. In my last post I theorized about how Daphne maybe created the three beasts to save the world from hunger and one of my guesses was to have them serve as food for others, though admittedly I thought that was less likely as even just the White Whale was way too strong to be hunted and eaten. The other theory was that she created the beasts to cull the world's population to more manageable numbers and thus less people would starve, which I don't think is the main point behind her animal logic survival of the fittest.

I'm going to be waiting for the other shoe to drop with Minerva whenever she next appears, because while she's a bit odd, especially with the whole "healing punches" thing, she doesn't have the same twisted feel to her as the rest of the witches. Typhon definitely, this sweet and innocent 10 year old ripping Subaru's arm off because it's how she can see if he's a bad guy or not and then breaking his knees to see if he has a guilty conscious. And Daphne, with her scarily basic views of hunger and eat or be eaten. All the witches have this subtle air of EXTREME danger behind them. Minera seems like she can be dangerous too but in a more obvious way, while with, say, Echidna, despite helping out Subaru so much it still feels like a really bad idea for him to let down his guard around her. It's like, the others feel like they come from horror stories while Minerva, like Subaru said, just feels like your typically tsundere from an action/comedy series.

And again, I love how this series handles the stuff surrounding the witches. It doesn't just feel like magic that does bad stuff, it feels like DARK magic. It's unnatural, like something that should not exist even in a world that has other magics in it. It's the difference between fantasy and supernatural. The rabbit(s) Daphne created. Omnivorous to the extreme and can self-multiply indefinitely. They eat everything, including themselves. It's messed up. It doesn't feel right.

“—I love you.”

Thus did the shadow whisper, infused with hot, passionate affection, enough to set the entire world aflame.

OHHHHHHHHHHH F**K.

That was such a good ending. Obviously I haven't read the next volume yet, so I could be wrong, but I'm assuming the implication here is that this was the penalty for Subaru talking about RBD so much with Echidna. He only thought there was no penalty because his soul was unaware of anything that was going on in the world outside the dream castle. If Satella was squeezing his heart he probably wouldn't have felt a thing, thus he had no warning it was still in effect. Given even just trying to say he can return by death causes the witch's scent to flare up to the point of monsters swarming to attack him, I can see how having a long chat about everything he's been through because of RBD would cause enough shadows to practically consume the sanctuary. Especially if one of the two theories I have is true, that either Satella likes it when Subaru acknowledges her and her "gift" to him and thus it's what draws her in closer, or Satella hates when Subaru tries to tell others about this thing that's just between them and thus the punishments.

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/hkbuss/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_11/

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aros001 · 3 years ago

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First time read through light novel vol. 9. Random thoughts.

Oh, neat! I didn't know the Rem and Subaru AU was going to be in this book. I thought it was just a separate sidestory or something extra sold with special editions of the Blu-Rays like the Overlord sidestories. This is good because I was planning on reading it eventually anyway.

[Literally the page right before the interlude]

Well, f**k you too, story.

Sloth, because I cannot wipe away your tears.

Lust, because I want us to melt together and become one.

Gluttony, because I want to consume you, to take all of you for myself.

Greed, because I want to have everything that I love.

Wrath, because I cannot forgive the absurdity of it all.

Pride, because I scorn everything that is not you.

Jealousy, because that is all I feel for the world that embraces you.

Now I'm kind of wondering if Return By Death's purpose is to bring Subaru closer to Satella or if it's a way of keeping them apart. Satella later calls it her and Subaru's place when Petelgeuse dares intrude upon it, so I'd assume it's the former but always just when the two seem to be connecting Subaru is ripped back to the land of the living.

You know, it just occurred to me how passive aggressive sending a blank letter as a declaration of war is.

When Emilia thought about it, she hadn’t seen the girl a single time since returning to the mansion.

“Maybe Beatrice is angry I left Subaru behind...”

Subaru and Beatrice got along rather well, so maybe she was upset.

I have no idea if this is the case or not but it is kind of nice to imagine Beatrice is at least a little upset that Subaru is gone and is intentionally or unintentionally shunning Emilia over it. Not that she and Emilia hung out much to begin with, from what I understand. Outside of Puck, Subaru was the only one to ever actively hang out with her and try to get her to have fun.

“A strange presence in the forest...?”

“Yes. Unpleasant fellows against whom even my Clairvoyance is ineffective.”

There was some really nice set-up for this. It was established all the way back when we first learned about Ram's Clairvoyance ability that it works by letting her "see" through the senses of all the insects and animals within her range. And what did Subaru keep noting almost every time he encountered the Witch Cult? The silence. The lack of noise from any birds or bugs, because everything avoids the Witch Cult if they can. Ram's Clairvoyance can't see the Witch Cult because there's nothing around the cult to see them. That's just a really clever little bit of detail there.

They had already thoroughly examined every concern and misgiving Emilia might have. They persevered, slapping down one doubt after another, until Emilia had no room left to lodge any objections.

This should have been a good thing, but the current Emilia could not help but feel tortured by an overwhelming sense of powerlessness. They had prepared answers to any question she might have, thought through whatever worries she might have, and if she did as she was told, everything would be taken care of through the goodwill of others—

A nice little parallel between Emilia and Subaru, facing a somewhat similar problem of their own powerlessness and needing to rely on others.

It became a ritual. Every day, Emilia would accompany Subaru down to the village and do radio aerobics with the villagers. Emilia was always watching when Subaru gave his stamp of approval with the potato stamps he’d carved himself.

These everyday scenes were the tangible bonds Emilia had formed with the villagers.

I think one of the reasons I had trouble shipping Subaru and Emilia in the anime was because I didn't really see what she got from knowing him aside from him saving her life. Here, being able to see Emilia's thoughts and get a look back at their time together from her POV, it's a lot easier to see. It's like why I ship Subaru and Rem. It's not just that they've saved each other's lives but that they helped each other in very personal ways, and that's something Subaru was doing for Emilia. I can buy why she's upset that he's gone.

So the apparent reason the Witch Cult was after Emilia was to see if she could be a vessel for Satella to be reborn through, and that maybe the reason she died before in a previous loop wasn't just because Subaru had told her about RBD but because she had failed the trial of being a worthy vessel. It feels like a weird twist on the old actual witch trials, where they drowned those accused of being witches. If they lived, then they're a witch. If they died, then they were innocent. Emilia survives the trial she becomes a witch and if she dies then she doesn't. It does make me wonder what the conditions for passing the trial are. First guess would be they have something to do with Subaru. Satella has some kind of infatuation with him so maybe part of it is trying to have Subaru's love through Emilia and Emilia pushing Subaru away was part of why she "failed" the trials.

Even in the anime, I loved how Subaru bested Petelgeuse. It's a trope that's great when it's done well; defeating the bad guy by technically giving them what they wanted (kind of like in Aladdin). "You want to meet the witch so bad? You got it! And everything that goes with it!" Petelgeuse was defeated via being rejected by the girl he liked. And then he goes through a similar stage of denial like Subaru did in his first loop after Emilia dumped him, throwing himself into delusion and thinking he can win back her favor by...continuing to just keep doing what he already was. It's why I love the lines:

It wasn’t worth listening to a word from him. Petelgeuse was just a self- righteous creep indulging in unrequited love.

Wilhelm had said as much—that it was absurd to call this love.

I'm a big superhero fanboy and this is something that comes up a lot. A lot of the best kinds of villains are those that are a reflection of the hero.

Also, did anyone else get kind of a Judge Doom from Who Framed Roger Rabbit? vibe from Petelgeuse during certain parts of this book? An inhuman creature pretending to be a man, his face is not his real face, going crazy and then going on a rampage. "Holy smokes, he's a toon (spirit)!"

When I was reading through the Goblin Slayer light novels, one thing I praised the series for was that everything the story introduced later came back and was put to use. Very little was ever wasted or pointless. Subaru's final battle with Petelgeuse reminds me a lot of that, with Subaru putting to use so much that'd been established prior in the story and through his own experiences. Otto's oil. What happens when you go outside the land dragon's protection against the wind. The gospel and Petelgeuse's own obsession. Even his practice of falling properly during his sword practice with Wilhelm, which Wilhelm himself criticized, proved itself to have its worth, He uses everything at his disposal, everything that he's learned, to pull off a win.

There, where Subaru’s greatest desire was to reach out and offer Emilia his hand, she had turned her back on him. That had to have been a great betrayal.

While I believe Subaru was definitely more at fault for the split between them, I do like how Emilia apparently has been feeling just as guilty as he has been, blaming herself just as much as he blamed himself.

“----- ”

However, Emilia’s reaction was completely different from what Subaru had expected.

Don't you do it.

“Subaru.”

“Yes?”

No.

When Emilia called his name, Subaru looked straight her.

Emilia resolutely faced Subaru’s determined eyes head-on. However, her gaze also contained bewilderment, and Subaru couldn’t understand why.

NO.

"Who's Rem?"

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!

So, I was actually spoiled a bit before starting the LNs that Rem would be erased from everyone's memories again. I just didn't know when it would happen, or how, and I certainly didn't know it's was something that would have happened at the anime's end if it hadn't be cut out. Is it weird to say that I'm somewhat grateful it happened so soon so that I didn't have to keep anticipating it? If you're gonna punch me in the stomach, just do it and get it over with. Knowing it's coming and not knowing when is much worse. Of course, the story can't let me off that easy, and my exact reaction when the book cut back to Rem on the carriage was "Oh shit! Crusch is there with her!" Somehow I'd managed to avoid the spoiler that she gets attacked along with Rem and gets her memories erased. This series really feels no need to hold back, does it? Two characters it got me to really like and now they're both gone in one way or another. And it's even worse because I like Ferris here more than I did in the anime and now he's basically lost his friend and person he's sworn himself to. A direct comparison is made by Subaru that Ferris has basically lost his Emilia.

On the positive side, this line from Rem:

“Someday a hero shall appear—a hero to destroy you all. However self- serving you are, however much misfortune your self-satisfaction creates, that man, the only hero Rem loves, shall surely bring you what you deserve.”

You're damn right he will! No idea if he actually will but I need hope right now. And, of course, with Emilia by his side to get Rem back.

As I've made no secret, I ship Subaru and Rem, starting with the anime. But obviously I didn't want to go into the LNs with a bias against Emilia, especially since it's not like I disliked her in the anime. And this book especially gave me a lot about her character to get invested in. Her inner thoughts, her feelings of powerlessness and having to adjust to people trying to help her, self-hatred, and all the parallels and similarities between her and Subaru. It really makes Subaru confessing his feelings for her feel like a much more impactful scene. I feel the connection between them much more than I did in the anime and it really feels like something Emilia needed to hear, that she is loved. I really want to see where things go from here. Subaru and Emilia vs. the Witch Cult!

And it was a very good move of Subaru's to give Emilia time to digest his feelings for her and to let her eventually fall in love with him. It's the same as why I don't mind that Subaru didn't immediately return Rem's love when she confessed to him like other Subarem shippers do. Love takes time. Love takes work. I think it shows that Subaru's love for Emilia and Rem's love for him is genuine, that they don't want to just pressure the other into being with them. They want the other to be with them because they love them and they are willing to wait for that time. While the AU section of this book is from a timeline where Subaru and Rem ran away, I don't have trouble believing he did eventually truly fall in love with her after all they've been through and raising a family together. The problem with that timeline I feel would just be the regrets they'd have over leaving behind everyone else they cared about, thus why I think they made the right choice in the main timeline.

I haven't even talked about Beatrice crying for her mother after not even Subaru can help her leave the mansion or Wilhelm's wife maybe being part of the Witch Cult because of his old wound reopening. So much happened in this book!

Original Reddit post: https://www.reddit.com/r/Re_Zero/comments/gzrul3/novels_first_time_read_through_light_novel_vol_9/

#re:zero #random thoughts #reddit repost

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