#and that was the last conversation we had ✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽✌🏽

[dicketysplit]

i have sorted through the binbags of my life that my ex shoved together as quickly as he could, and identified things that I actually wanted to pack away vs things that were literal rubbish

[kjsnugget]

Chapter 3

Spencer Reid x male reader x Derek morgan

Genre:angst/idk

Warnings: Spencer being a bitch✌🏽, swearing, mentions of death

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The weeks you had off had passed fairly quickly, today you would be returning to work. You haven't seen anyone other then Derek since your first night in your new home. You took the time off to focus on yourself, you had let Spencer redefine you as a person and it was time to take it back. After cutting your hair you got rid of many articles of clothing that didn't bring confidence. Derek had been with you the whole two weeks helping you find yourself again. He made sure everything you bought and did was solely for yourself as you tended to be a people pleaser. Derek enjoyed watching you explore yourself again, it was as if you were becoming a better version of yourself.

Since it was your first day back he had been ip early making breakfast with coffee. A habit he developed only in the last two weeks. He had picked up many habits revolving around you in the past two weeks. You haven't noticed some of them but you caught on to most. You never failed to express your gratitude for Derek as he made reality les damning. He was working hard to break the shell that was rebuilt by Spencer that molded you into the perfect person he wanted you to be.

Derek knew two weeks wouldn't be enough time but you made a lot of progress in the time you had. He waited for you to come out of your room for breakfast and coffee with two scoops of sugar and a splash of cream. He made sure it was vanilla creamer the way you like it. He served your plate of bacon with eggs that were scrambled and wrapped in a tortilla the way you preferred. His patience was wearing thin the cause of excitement of you returning to work. When you finally walked out the smile on his lips widened "well damn Casanova you look amazing" he could tell you were letting your shy nature take over. You held a smile although small it was there. Your hair was slightly styled but left mostly in its natural state. You had gotten your ears pierced again, the shiny studs peeking through your hair. The light brown eyeshadow on the line of your eyes made them pop.

Feeling his eyes on you made it hard to look at him. He was being to good to you and that scared you. You flashed a small smile at him as you thanked him for the compliments and breakfast. Conversation naturally flowed between the two of you as you ate, Before you realized time had passed and it was now time to go. That's when the ball of nerves formed within you. Today was the first time you would be seeing Spencer in two weeks. You weren't sure how you felt about it. Was he mad At you? Would he even talk to you? You're mind was filled with possibilities. You were beginning to let your thoughts overwhelm you "hey it's going to be alright we got time before work starts we can make a stop" you had no idea of what he was talking about but you trusted him and followed him out the door.

The car ride was silent as he drove through the streets of your town. The trees passing by gave you comfort, you loved the view of trees and scenery that you were very grateful to have. Unsure of where your friend was taking you, you found comfort in the scenery and comfortable silence. When the car came to a stop it became clear you were at your destination. It had been a long time since you last came here, it was difficult knowing what laid underneath your feet.

Taking a breath you let your feet lead you to her grave. The beautiful stone that held her name written neatly across it. Fresh flowers surrounded the scene, removing any dead ones to keep it clean. Trying to keep your tears at bay you sat next to the lonely grave of your best friend. The person who had been the only family to you since high school. Her name was a reminder of the times in high school when her place had become your home. Knowing you had limited time you had decided to just let the silence comfort you. It wasn't until you felt a hand on your shoulder that you knew it was time to go. The drive to the office filled with silence, a hand on yours drawing on the feeling of safety and comfort.

When you arrived it felt surreal seeing the agents flowing in out of the entrance. Taking a deep breath you followed Derek inside walking towards where you friends were waiting. You had seen your friends gathered by door ready to welcome you back with open arms. One by one they expressed how happy they were to have you back in the office. Surprised to hear there was no case you took your seat at your desk. It wasn't until you sat down that his frame came in to view. His hair shorter then before, his smile wide while he spoke on the phone. Deep down you knew he was talking to her. She was the reason for his happiness, he was happier with her.

During your two weeks out of office you dealt with your feelings. The anger, heartache,pain, happiness, and love had disappeared and been replaced with nothing. Unsure of whether it was a phase it was hard to cope with the fact you had no feelings for Spencer anymore. Seeing his face, seeing his smile, hearing his voice brought no feelings forward. It was a weird feeling to have no emotions towards the man you spent six years of your life with.

Finally hanging up the phone with his lover he noticed you at your desk. You looked different, your hair, clothes, even wearing a light liner on your eyes. He saw you interact with the others a smile on your face he hadn't seen in months. Noticing the lack of interest when it came to him bothered him slightly. He held a sense of security as he had made amends with his friends unknowing that it was you who had asked them to. No matter what happened it wasn't worth destroying the team. He took a moment to himself before returning to his desk. He had been on okay terms with everyone except Derek. He had tried to talk to him only to be shut down, if it wasn't work related Derek ignored him. Spencer understood the anger towards him for what he did, he knew striking you was wrong. He had planned to apologize for leaving you with a mark that night, but he had not planned to apologize for falling in love. It is out of his control who he loves.

Spencer couldn't help his eyes wander to you as you talked to JJ who was helping you fix your hair. It didn't take long for Penelope to follow her antics and help you with your look. He couldn't help let a chuckle slip through watching the two mess with you like siblings. He seen as the lines under your eyes began to crinkle as you laughed. Still loud as always, he took notice how when you laughed you would wrap your arm around your stomach. He watched as you interacted with the people who made you happy. He wanted to be angry with you for getting him in trouble but he knew better. He knew it was his actions that got him benched.

He tried to pull his eyes away from you but when he spotted Derek coming up to you with a coffee they were stuck. He couldn't help but wonder if there was something between the two of you. It had only been two weeks since the assumed breakup have you moved on already? And if you did was it Derek? The idea of that bothered him, Derek was his best friend how could you go for him? He wanted to talk to you alone since he felt it was between you two. He waited for you to walk to the break room where he followed. His feet moved quicker then he would have liked as he caught up with you his mouth even faster "Hey M/n can we talk?" Your body jumped back from his sudden words. He could still see the slight bruising on your face "um sure I guess" you let him lead you into the break room which caught the eyes of your friends.

"What do you need Reid" it was weird hearing you call him anything other then Spencer "I just wanted to apologize for hitting you, I was angry but that was no excuse for what I did so I'm sorry" he waited for your response only to not receive what he wanted "is that it?" Was that not what you wanted "yeah?" With a nod you grabbed a cup of water and made your way to the door "wait you're not going to say anything?" Turning back towards him he just wanted you to say something "what do you want for me to forgive you? Cause I don't" the monotone voice  "but I apologized" why did it bother him "yeah Reid your words mean nothing to me anymore, so you apologized for hitting me great do you want a medal? You're still a piece of shit who I want nothing to do with"

He didn't understand he apologized, how could you still be upset "how am I a piece of shit? Cause I've moved on?" He refrained from yelling this time "no Reid you're not a piece of shit for moving on, you're a piece of shit for moving on while we were still together" there it was you were still upset about that " I'm not apologizing for my feelings M/n" "I'm not asking you to Reid I'm not asking you for anything but to leave me alone unless it's about work okay?" He tried to stop you but it was to late you were gone. He watched as you walked over to his best friend. It's bothering him to see how close with Morgan you are.

He wanted to follow you but was informed there was a case. Before he could comprehend what happened he was on a plane to a new city. Where he sat alone you were sat with Penelope. She was showing you something on her phone. Your attention remained on her for the majority of the plane ride. It only strayed away when it was time to discuss the case.

Arriving at the police station you were quick to give your attention the case, no one bothered you with anything else. The thoughts of everything didn't matter when you worked. Your mind was focused on saving the lives of the girls who needed you. For hours you worked, looking through case files, going over theories, you had be dragged to the hotel to get some rest. JJ had to scold you multiple times before you retreated to your room. Spencer had thought he would be sharing with you as he always did, but when Derek followed you to your room his assumption was proven wrong. He was informed he would have his own room since JJ was sharing with Garcia.

He had a room to himself, that was new. It felt weird being in a room by himself, he was used to having you in the room bouncing off the walls. It was hard to try and be comfortable, his mind was so caught up in his thoughts he didn't hear the knocking. With the knocking getting louder he finally opened the door to see Derek "hey I just wanted to talk" letting him inside the door he was happy to have company "what's going on?" Sitting on the bed he let himself listen "I heard you apologized to M/n?" He nodded in response "yeah he um he didn't forgive me, which I don't understand" his friend only nodded "Spencer you cheated on him, not to mention hitting him and treating him terrible you're lucky he even spoke to you" he just didn't understand why everyone couldn't move past this "look I'm not here to debate with you on right and wrong, you should know that, I'm here to tell You to leave m/n alone unless it's related to work alright?"

"M/n already told me that" once again a nod "well now I'm telling you, I want you to do the same with me. After what you did I don't see it being possible to be friends with you outside of work" why was he losing a friend over this? "I don't understand" he was upset losing his best friend broke something inside him "look maybe one day we can be close again but it's going to take time for that" he didn't want to cry he didn't want to show how much it hurt him to lose Derrick as a close friend. He never meant to hurt you the way he did. He knows he could have handled things better and he would have he just didn't know how. He watched as Derek left back to his room. He was going to have to cope by himself now.

[pinayelf]

So now that i dont feel as crispy anymore (Tylenol my beloved) here are my thoughts on absolution! All spoilers under the cut but I will be tagging it too just in caseAll in all I really enjoyed it! As always it’s not perfect and there’s some crit to be made, but others have done that. I wanna ramble about theories and just observations in general

First off my faves are Roland and Qwydion. Just really loved their personalities and I hope we get more stuff with them in it

Vjfjfjfj I ABSOLUTELY LOVED Roland x lacklon. Lacklon 100% fell in love w Roland at first sight (me too tbh) and him giving him the in case we die kiss is peak romance 🤌🏽

the background art in the series literally made me weep…..so so good

now idk if this was in the codex because I just don’t read them 💀 but I didn’t know a mage could levitate themself with magic. We’ve seen magic energy used to lift heavy objects, but never a person. I need this in DA4 lmaooo. I wanna fly 😭

When rezaren pulled Miriam into that fade dream, he needed blood magic to do it. That’s interesting because when solas takes the inquisitor into a fade dream he doesn’t need to do it. I’m wondering if it’s because solas is a god and he has very strong magic or if because he specializes in fade magic? Maybe both?

the thing w qwydion and the dragon - I’ve seen theories about it. This is mine. I think about that conversation with bull and how he says that qunari have dragon blood in them. Granted he was talking about it like it was a folktale, but maybe it’s true? Rezaren was using blood magic to control it, but it took one look into qwydion’s eyes and just let her go. So….

Jumping off last point I wonder if there’s such a thing as a dragon tamer…I wish we could be given the option to take dragons in-game as an alternative to just killing them. That would be cool

honestly the Meredith thing just made me laugh 😭 I was wondering how hira got in contact with her, then I realized she joined the inquisition and had access to the black emporium. But if it’s not her who took her back to Kirkwall the idea of someone going there to take her back is so funny to me

pouring one out for Fairbanks Stans 😔 he was a sexy socialist smh

I want Miriam x qwydion…..pls I want them to kiss

thats all ✌🏽

[avatarwarriordreamwalkers]

We all don’t have to look far to see in the news, humanity is a very violent species. The 1st outlet of violence is on the outside, internally directed outwards with no bulwark stopping its expression. We get war, mass shootings, Suicide bombings, the list goes on and on.

But the 2nd outlet of violence has the opportunity to be redemptive and transformative. It is internally directed outwards on the page or canvas as art. It allows the creator to process their demons in a dimension of the imagination where they have complete control, and thus can prevail, using their expression in films, theater, visual art, music and even sharing their internal battle through books.

And often times these “warrior dream-walkers” come out of their internal journey transformed, no longer a puppet of the violent thoughts that once dominated their mind. One might even say they have come closer to an Avatar consciousness, piloting their own body on a heroes journey, the way we might control an Avatar in a video game, no longer dominated by fear, but liberated by an experience where we connect to our higher self that is consciousness itself. I see filmmakers as warrior dream-walkers, facilitating an Avatar consciousness, helping others face the same demons they did, and potentially rise from them triumphant as a new human. This is the hope I see in the arts. 🎭

Sure, Avatar the film is violent, and there are a lot of films that are even worse! But this is the case with art throughout all of human history. Even the moral guidebook of great religions is filled with violent stories, where God exacts vengeance on the humans who wronged him.

I see Avatar as a means for our world culture to exercise demons of its past, in the form of lamenting the horror of our story and how disappointing our world has been for so many over the centuries. Avatar is Cameron’s vehicle for imagining a better world. The story of the Tulkun is the story of our whales. And the story of the Na’vi is the story of indigenous peoples everywhere. But what if we lived in a world where whales could fight back and didn’t passively let humans slaughter them centuries for their oil? Or what if the indigenous could mount a defense against the imperialists and win! What a spectacle that would be, for bows and arrows to defeat tanks and gunships, and imagine how gratifying it would feel for those traumatized by the story of native american genocide, or someone who loves nature and wants to see our world fight back against corporate greed destroying the environment for the sake of profit.

This is the power and value I see in art. Sure, there are people who don’t get it. One may use an example of a young boy who shoots up a movie theater screening of Batman. Some may argue “Batman and other movies incite violence and this is proof!” But what if this young man had the bulwark of art in his life, to help him exercise his demons before they played him like a puppet. That’s where my idea for “Temples of Light” comes in.

Movie theaters are like a universal temple spread across every continent and nation, with stories that transcend borders and barriers of all kinds, drawing diverse masses into theater temples for a profoundly sacred experience, transcending human differences bound to race, class, religion, sexual orientation, gender discrimination and nationality. What if this global entity in a sleeping state, could awaken and even strengthen through the power of fellowship, making the audience feel they are part of a new family that truly sees them; a place where we can exercise demons, and dreams can be made more powerful than nightmares.

This is the fellowship and tribe I long for, but doesn’t yet exist. Because I don’t see anyone trying to create this, I have to do what I can to imagine that it’s real, hoping to turn my dreams to reality.

🎥✨📽️✨🌟✨✌🏽👁🌍👁

I talk about all this in my Avatar video from last year, https://youtu.be/SfrhQrz4Vg4 and hope to continue the conversation soon in my Avatar 2 video.

[craziemj]

I was in New Orleans for work this last spring. My flight was late and traffic was horrible. Come to find out, it was 1:00 am on Fat Tuesday. Then after google mapping the hotel my employer booked for me I realized it was in the middle of the French Quarter. I didn’t always follow Jesus so I knew what I was in for. I stopped and bought microwave food so I could stay in for 24 hours. When I got to the hotel I realize that it was a very old one… No microwave. The next morning I ventured out. As much as I wanted to stay away from all of this, I was hungry. While I was walking I came upon a man standing on a milk crate screaming at people through megaphone about sin and judgement. It’s not that what he was saying was wrong… It was how he was saying it that drove me to have a conversation with him. Friends, it was Jesus’ love, grace and mercy that drew crowds and people to repentance. Not screaming and belittling. Jesus pointed to the Father and not peoples sin. Do we have to be sanctified? Absolutely! But that happens after we come to Jesus not before. I love theological debate and apologetics. I think it’s our duty as believers to know what is coming and teach this truth. But there is a time and a place for it and that is not when people are so far from Jesus that what we are saying looks more like judgement and hate than mercy and love. I don’t know who quoted this but Pastor Steve said: “people don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care.” When we teach the truth (Gospel) in love the Holy Spirit will convict people of their sin. That’s the order we see in the Bible. Jesus only blasted those that knew the truth already and had grown hard in heart and calloused. I met these guys in the lobby of my hotel and told them about Jesus. They were enjoying the party 🎉 in the city but took the time to hear what I had to say and take this pic. Will any of them be in heaven? I don’t know but I know what God can no with a mustard seed. That’s His wheel house. Mine is sharing love. 1 Peter 4:8-9 Above all, keep loving one another earnestly, since love covers a multitude of sins. Show hospitality to one another without grumbling. #LLK ✌🏽 https://www.instagram.com/p/B4Z29tIp3er/?igshid=2iwl9jj123pa