#and that was after a LIFETIME of dealing with their bullshit whenever i'd try to establish my own personhood to them

[dredshirtroberts]

god i hate that talking to people about the things that bother me works and also makes me feel better. that's so dumb why can't i just hold all the bad feelings i feel inside of me forever and never discuss them ever at all? (...To shreds you say?)

[neoloves]

— 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧 𝐟𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐭𝐡𝐨𝐬𝐞 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐧𝐨 𝐞𝐥𝐬𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧.

| 𝐚𝐛𝐨𝐮𝐭 | The second part to 'Oikawa, Tsukishima and Akaashi comparing you to their ex'

Part 1 can be found here ♡

| 𝐟𝐞𝐚𝐭𝐮𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠 | Oikawa Tooru, Akaashi Keiji and Tsukishima Kei

| 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠(𝐬) | swearing

| 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝.𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭 | 1.6k

| 𝐚𝐭𝐡.𝐭𝐱𝐭 | I'm not even gonna front, I wanted to do the part 2 angsty, but I didn't 🧍🏻‍♀️ happy endings for everyone! ✨ damn why this so long for

(also I just realized 'how to say sorry' by middle school is the perfect song to listen to when reading this 👁️👁️)

「 Oikawa 」

Oikawa slaps himself one more time, his vision was getting blurry, his eyes searching for one person, that one person that's put up with all his bullshit and loved him thoroughly. "Fucking hell Oikawa, can you focus a little bit more?!" Iwaizumi yells at him, they lost the first set, all because Oikawa couldn't find you at the bleachers.

"Oh I'd love to, but you see Y/N-" Iwaizumi cuts him off, "Y/N didn't come today because she's still hurt you ass! Now get your head back into the game," Iwaizumi sends him one last glare. Oikawa scoffs, you were his lucky charm, whenever you were there to watch his games he was more motivated to win but without you, it's almost like it's not worth it.

Even after all of the things Oikawa said, you couldn't help but watch his games, it felt like a routine for you. The game finished with Aoba Johsai winning, the gap wasn't big but they won and that's all that matters. You quickly made your way out of the gym but someone's hand stopped you from doing so, looking up you see Iwaizumi. He was the one that ran after you instead of your boyfriend, he helped you calm down during that time, "Y/N can we.. talk?" He asked.

Looking around, you didn't see Oikawa anywhere so you agreed. Walking just outside the gym, there he stood, the moonlight was shining down on him so beautifully, fuck. "Y/N, please have a listen to what he says, he's been a wreck these days.." Iwaizumi says, offering you a gentle smile before leaving you two. "So.. what did you want to talk about? That you wanted to break up? That you found someone that's way better than me? Someon-"

"No! No one is better than you! No one can ever replace you y/n, so please listen to me. The shit I said before was because I wasn't thinking straight, it was never you, I just- I just thought that you might see the real me, pathetic little athlete and leave one day, I didn't want that to happen.. I'm sorry," Oikawa said, his chest heaving up and down, his pretty hazel eyes had tears flowing down his cheeks.

You couldn't watch Oikawa cry, all you wanted to do was wrap your arms around him and tell him that it was alright. Instead you approached him slowly, taking his hands into yours, "I forgive you Oikawa, but it'll take time for me to put in trust in you," You said, giving him the slightest smile. "T-That's do-able, I'll wait until you're ready again, and I promise to not break your heart again," And he plans to keep that promise.

「 Akaashi 」

Akaashi tells himself that he'll be a better boyfriend, he'll make it up to you. But why can't he send you a single text? Maybe call? No, he wants to apologize in person, the longer he drags this fight out the more he realizes how much of a wreck he really is without you. He starts to ask himself, 'What would y/n do?' or 'Have they eaten yet?'

The last time he's seen you was at the hallways, he's always seeked you out but you always avoided him, the calm and composed Akaashi Keiji, going crazy over you. "How do I even make her listen to me Bokuto? She won't even spare me a glance.." he muttered, Bokuto felt pity for his friend, 'Maybe this is how y/n felt when I ignored her,' he told himself.

"Just walk straight up to her, say that you want to talk and apologize, don't make excuses, say that you're sorry, wholeheartedly," Bokuto says, smiling at him. "Easier said than done," Akaashi sighs, it's the first time he's ever dealt with something like this, but for you, he'll keep trying

He found the perfect opportunity to face you when the teacher had asked Akaashi to help you with some subjects you were failing, you've skipped school for a week prior to the argument. It's been hard to catch up with all the work, so Akaashi was sent to lend you a hand. You were more than surprised when Akaashi comes up to your door step, "Uh.." You said, slamming the door onto his face, but he was quickly to catch it, leaving the door slightly opened.

"Y/N I was sent here by the teacher to help you with school.. and to apologize," He said, hesitantly, opening the door once again. You let Akaashi in, you couldn't tell but Akaashi was nervous as hell, all the words he's rehearsed were forgotten the moment he saw you. He curses himself for hurting you, "Sorry, you were forced to come here to help me," You said, keeping your gaze on the floor. "No, I should be the one apologizing,"

"It was unfair of me, ignoring you and then lashing out like that. I don't know why I did that, but I want to apologize, I never wanted to hurt you, some boyfriend I am," He said, his mind replaying the scene over and over, he can't forget the hurt look on your face. "I'm supposed to protect you, not hurt you, so.. you can decide if you still want me or not, I'll respect your decision," He said, "I– You know I still love you so much Akaashi, of course I want you back, but please, give me time.." You said, your heart feeling way lighter.

"Of course Y/N, I'll give you all the time you need, I'll be waiting," Akaashi smiles, he can wait for a lifetime, maybe even forever just to have you back in his arms.

「 Tsukishima 」

Tsukishima can't help but glance at your seat from time to time, it was empty, it's been empty for a week now. You weren't the type to skip school, but he guesses you have an excuse to not come anymore. How would Tsukishima let you know that he didn't mean all the shit he said? How would he let you know that it's always been you?

Even Yamaguchi started to make up excuses about not being able to hang out, Tsukishima fully knows that Yamaguchi would meet up with you, but he doesn't why. He guesses that it's to console you, but it's making him feel bad. Having his friend comfort you instead of him, but he can't really say much as he's the cause of this. So he'll endure it until he can't anymore, jealousy is an ugly emotion and he knows that fully well.

He's been seeing you and Yamaguchi together more often, sure it tugs at his heartstrings but what the fuck can he do? He's a coward that runs away from emotion and bottles them up until it comes around to bite his ass. That's exactly why that argument between you two happened in the first place, he's been dealing with personal issues with college and his life that he ended up bursting it out on you.

"Nothing I do is ever good enough, fuck," He curses, as he misses another ball. "Are you alright Tsukishima? You're usually not this distracted," His teammate asked, "It's nothing, just tired, let's get back to practice," He replied, not wanting to answer anymore questions. His teammate seemed to have gotten the message and left him alone, "How about we go eat out tonight? My treat," Their captain suggested, "Sorry but I think–" Tsukishima was going to decline but the captain insisted.

So now he was getting dragged to a barbecue house, what Tsukishima wasn't expecting was to see you and Yamaguchi at the same restaurant as he was in. He couldn't turn away, you looked so much happier with Yamaguchi, would it be right to let you go? Should he keep fighting? You sensed someone staring at you for a while now, but when Yamaguchi leaned towards you to whisper, "Tsukishima's here, what do you want to do?"

"Nothing, I'll be perfectly fine," You said, minutes had passed but you've grown more and more uncomfortable with the amount of staring Tsukishima's done. This is so strange even for you, Yamaguchi sensed your uncomfortability and suggested that he walks you home. "Sure, I need to get back home anyway," you answered, Tsukishima was sure as hell that he's not gonna get another chance to talk to you unless he does it now, so he takes it.

"Tsuki?" Yamaguchi said, "Can we talk Y/N.. in private?" He asked, trying not to sound as desperate as possible, you stayed quiet for a couple of seconds but ultimately deciding to hear him out. You two step out of the restaurant, the streetlight flickering above you two. The atmosphere was tense, a little bit awkward, your gaze bounced all over the place, from his trimmed bangs, to his brown long coat, then back to his eyes.

"I'll keep it short, I'm sorry, I'm sorry I was inconsiderate of your feelings and how I didn't think about my words before spewing them out. I'm sorry for making you feel like you weren't enough, cause you were more than enough, and I feel like I should've shown you how much I appreciated you more.. but I couldn't, and I.. I'm sorry," He finished, his eyes unwavering, that was the Tsukishima you knew. His jaw was clenched, most likely to stop himself from crying.

You felt the sincerity from his words, that was more than what you wanted. "Thank you Tsukishima, I accept your apology, but.." Tsukishima was hooked on your words. "I'd like to be treated out for food so that I can see that you're really sorry," You said, obviously joking, but half not really. Tsukishima lets out a small chuckle, there was the y/n he knew. "Of course, pick any place and I'll pick you up tomorrow," Tsukishima said, starting tonight, he'll work hard to be the man you deserve.

[punkscowardschampions]

Amelia & Jac

Amelia: My mum heard wrong and you're actually okay, right? Jac: I am now Amelia: but it was you Jac: me and half of Dublin Amelia: I could care less about about 3/4 of this town Jac: generous, a whole 1/4 Amelia: you know what I mean Jac: yeah Jac: your maths isn't that shocking Amelia: what happened? Jac: what do you mean Jac: I didn't accidentally swallow my mouthwash or something Jac: you know how it goes Amelia: alright, why did it happen? Jac: It was new years Jac: simple as Amelia: you don't give a shit about New Year's Amelia: or anything else right now Jac: I was feeling festive Amelia: because? Jac: because it's the reason for the season? idk Amelia: you're really going to make me figure it out? okay Jac: there's fuck all to figure out Jac: you've got drunk, you know why Amelia: What did she do? Jac: which nurse was it that told your mum Jac: or was it a receptionist, they're the fucking worst Amelia: answer my question so I don't have to go on her profile Jac: go ahead and look Jac: you won't be surprised, no one else is Amelia: [does so a pause] Amelia: I'm sorry Jac: I knew anyway Jac: well, was 99% sure Jac: but then that 1% went so Amelia: You could've called me Amelia: nobody on the gossip grapevine even knows the lad who brought you in Jac: I very much couldn't Jac: I was passed out Jac: so me either, the thank you note will sit here unsent, like Amelia: before, I mean Amelia: she didn't post that last night Jac: it was Christmas Amelia: so? Jac: a time for family Amelia: you used to be Amelia: basically Jac: well that's just weird Amelia: again, you know what I mean Jac: not acceptable to float your incest fantasies just 'cos you've got no siblings to go there with Amelia: ugh, shut up Jac: works for me Amelia: no, it doesn't Jac: ask anyone Jac: I've had a very relaxing break Amelia: none of this is working for you, that's why you ended up in hospital Amelia: for fuck's sake Jac: that was the tequila Amelia: none of this is funny Jac: what do want me to say? Amelia: quite literally anything that isn't a pisstake Amelia: that's how low my bar is now Jac: I got drunk, it isn't the drama your mum and whoever the fuck is making it out to be Amelia: it isn't a drama that you got so drunk you had to be medically emptied out after being brought in by a stranger, no of course not Amelia: anything could have happened to you but why the fuck would that matter Jac: clearly I was surrounded by nice people Jac: I wasn't in a crack den Amelia: you wouldn't tell me if you were Amelia: unless you had a joke you could make out of it Jac: I appreciate that you find me so amusing Jac: I'm not making jokes, there is just nothing to actually be said about any of it Amelia: Fine, we'll go back to not talking Jac: don't let me ruin your good time Amelia: it's a bit late for that advice, thanks anyway Jac: amazing Jac: way to make my hospital stay about you Amelia: how could I? It's all about Savannah fucking Moore, as always Jac: so you wanted to be the one I drank myself into a coma for Jac: I'm so sorry Jac: I'll try again next time and leave a note shouting you out Amelia: no you won't, because that would involve telling people about me Amelia: I might as well not exist Jac: 'cos I'm going around telling EVERYONE that this is about her Amelia: it's never been any secret how I feel about you or that I need you even though you don't need me Amelia: and you could've fucking died or something Jac: seriously Amelia: yeah Jac: it's bullshit if you actually believe that Jac: and you're not just saying it Amelia: all of this is bullshit Jac: I'm a fucking mess Jac: I hit you up all the time Jac: why do you need me to spell it out to you Jac: hire a fucking skywriter Amelia: none of it matters because when things actually matter, like this, you don't Jac: because I'm not fucking okay Jac: that doesn't mean that I don't those other times Amelia: I know that Jac: you clearly don't Jac: it means nothing Jac: then fuck it Amelia: it doesn't mean nothing Jac: it's so fucking Jac: infuriating Jac: I haven't talked to anyone else in person for so long Jac: and I barely do it in writing now either Jac: don't pretend you don't know that means something just to fit your narrative Amelia: what to do want me to say? or do? Amelia: I've spent ages worried about you even before this and there's nobody I can talk about it with because you won't Amelia: I don't get to be upset because it's Christmas and we're not friends and I'm over it, that's the narrative for everybody else Amelia: then I hear this and it's no big deal to you, apparently Jac: just not be so fucking dense Jac: at least when you're talking to me, you don't need to pretend that now Jac: what would you like me to say? how fucking vile it was having to bring up my entire stomach contents, what it smelt like? how terrifying it was to be there on my own? Jac: or what can I do for you now? start sobbing about how out of control my life is, repent, promise to change and be different? Amelia: I've already lost you once because of her, I can't do it again Amelia: especially not like that Jac: I can't stop loving her Jac: I can't stop it hurting Jac: all of us Amelia: I can't stop loving you Amelia: and she isn't going to force me to when she isn't even fucking here Jac: There's no point blaming her Jac: if she didn't know, before I showed her how I felt Jac: she didn't know about you and me Amelia: and you think I'm dense Jac: I don't think she's perfect Jac: not completely Amelia: it's progress Jac: shut up Jac: I'm sorry, alright, I wouldn't have told you, you wouldn't have needed to be worried Amelia: I'm worried by all the things you don't tell me Amelia: where you go and what you do when you're not 'hitting me up' Jac: it's not as if you'd wanna hear it though Jac: you want me to stop, like everyone does Jac: but I just Jac: I can't Amelia: I don't want to hear it because I know it's not what you really want Jac: I can't have what I want Amelia: you can't have her, it doesn't mean you have to have that Jac: None of it was real Jac: but it doesn't erase all that time, what was said and done and felt Jac: not for me Amelia: of course it doesn't Jac: it's like I'm trapped Jac: I can't go back but I'm just left here, she's left me here and all of the things we were going to do and be together aren't going to happen Jac: I'm not going to be that person but I'm not the same as before Amelia: it's like she killed you, you have to grieve Jac: I don't like who I am now Jac: without her Amelia: you said it, you're a mess Amelia: not much about that for a virgo to like Jac: this is just another day in the life for you is it Jac: 🦂 Amelia: it's not about me Amelia: how you feel about you Jac: it's no secret I CLEARLY hate myself Amelia: it'd be the worst kept secret ever if it was Jac: so yeah, it's nice to flip the script, have people think maybe I hate them instead Jac: I ruined Christmas because I hate you all, like, yeah, fine Amelia: maybe Cammie's brothers are little enough to fall for it Jac: it's surprising how effective playing at being a coma patient is for the cause Amelia: everyone knows you're hurting instead of hating Jac: alright Jac: sounding like a cringe 90s rnb love song is not cute Amelia: I'm not cute today Jac: have you got your serious face on to match your tone Amelia: my parents have and if you can't beat them, join them Jac: did your nan say something homophobic and they forgot to call her out on your behalf? Amelia: I'm grounded because of what you did, that's what passes for logic in this 🏠 Amelia: they haven't stopped talking about it or trying to overhaul my life Jac: oh great Jac: I'll not be able to see you too now Amelia: they've told me to stay in, they can't make me Amelia: you can see me whenever you want to Jac: your parents are actually sensible, if leaning towards over-protective Jac: they'll get a restraining order Jac: or me sectioned, if they can really sell it Amelia: they don't know about us Amelia: you're fine Jac: they know they don't want you being my friend Amelia: they don't want me getting hospitalised, that's all Amelia: they know if we were still friends I'd look after you and vice versa Jac: it isn't catching, it's alcohol poisoning Jac: can we go to the beach Jac: we've obviously missed the official swim but I want to Amelia: they did run out of Christmas drinks because I never got around to replacing what we stole and I did have to take sole blame, so that's where they think I'm heading Amelia: but yeah, we can go to the beach Jac: their friends always could put it away Amelia: and I wasn't even drunk last night Amelia: because I'd already had a lecture Jac: how drunk did you get on Christmas day then Amelia: it's not my fault they all stop at a couple of glasses Amelia: or want to my life a competition vs the child or children of every single person my parents know Amelia: 🥱🙄 Jac: you didn't know miracle was a lifetime obligation as well as a fancy title? Jac: gutted Amelia: did I hit you up, no, therefore I CLEARLY wasn't drunk enough Jac: Charming Amelia: 😏 Jac: you know, when I get drunk, I make really bad choices/nearly die Amelia: not always Amelia: and I might've given my cousin my phone so I didn't send you anything, okay? I'm that 😳🤓 Jac: She blatantly wanted to nose at all your private texts anyway Jac: I wouldn't trust any of mine as far as I can throw them Amelia: she'd have to steal my fingerprint, I definitely wasn't that drunk Jac: don't you delete them after? Jac: amateur Amelia: what would I do when you aren't talking to me if I did, read a book? Jac: you're quick with the recommendations for me, so yeah Amelia: I get enough migraines without encouraging them Jac: 😏 Jac: we definitely shouldn't be friends then Amelia: that's not even in the top 10 of reasons why we shouldn't Jac: again, so polite Amelia: come on, you know I'll break any amount of rules Jac: it's not supposed to be adding to the fun of it, like Amelia: fuck supposed to as well Jac: alright Jac: but I ain't going out and getting drunk tonight Jac: I feel inside out still Amelia: what do you want to do then? Jac: I don't know Jac: let's just start with the beach and I'll see Amelia: okay Jac: what do you wanna do Amelia: I only give a shit about seeing you Jac: It might take me a while to get out Jac: goes without saying I'm more than grounded Jac: one pair of 👀 on me at all times Amelia: that kind of wait won't kill me Jac: alright Jac: I'll think of something Amelia: remember a coat this time, yeah? Amelia: I can't lend you any more without literally taking the one off my own back Jac: oh no Amelia: you didn't nearly die in my coat, did you? Jac: I was wearing it Jac: but I don't have it now Amelia: oh Jac: I do remember where I was, I wasn't that gone when I arrived Jac: but I don't wanna go back, I can give you the address? Amelia: do I want to go there or should I just hit the sales? Jac: yeah Jac: consider it a late christmas present? Amelia: wait, my late Christmas present isn't that you didn't die? Jac: you're glad, aren't you, that's a gift Jac: but I also meant money for a coat, that's only fair, if anything Amelia: I can afford my own replacement coat Jac: alright Jac: but I did lose it Amelia: I lent it to you, if it was that precious to me, I wouldn't have Amelia: and my mum will be thrilled I'm asking to go shopping Jac: yeah, true enough Jac: what did you get her for christmas? Amelia: [something her basic mum would actually love because she only had to buy for her parents so might as well go in] Jac: wow, daughter of the year much Amelia: I'm their only daughter, there's no contest Jac: all I got mine was a nervous breakdown so you know Amelia: I did that last year, you know, before it was cool Jac: 🤓 Amelia: I'm sorry that you didn't invent pining Jac: I'm not pining though, you can have that Amelia: I don't want it Jac: I'm sorry you invented pining Amelia: I didn't, I just happen to be amazing at it Jac: or bad at it, depending on your outlook Amelia: well yeah Jac: I look awful Amelia: how do you feel? Jac: awful Jac: at least there's no disparity there Amelia: you've nailed it, along with the majority Jac: start as the year will go on, no matter my intentions or otherwise Jac: fucking hell Amelia: I look great, you've been warned Jac: 😂 Amelia: 👧🏻 Jac: at least it isn't bowl-esque now Jac: like your xmas throwback Amelia: I knew you'd like that Jac: that santa is creepy looking though Jac: your face says it all Amelia: 😂 Jac: how likely do you think any of my siblings are to cover for me right now Amelia: 🤔 very unlikely Jac: distract and run it is Amelia: can you even 🏃 the state you're in? Jac: They gave me IV, I'm technically in my prime, thank you Amelia: carry on Jac: you don't have to come Amelia: I want to though Jac: alright Amelia: okay Jac: [I think she should ask Jesse to cover but whatever the outcome of that convo let us say you do get out somehow and you can go to the beach] Amelia: [yeah even if he won't, find a way gal] Jac: [have your nice moment] Amelia: [it's deserved, well not really because you ruined christmas and new year's but Savannah ruined everything first so it kind of is lol] Jac: [it's what being a teen is all about henny] Amelia: [not this teen, I was a goody two shoes] Jac: [my boo is too good she would never lmao, I did so] Jac: [I think they should have a nice time but then someone/someone's parents is at the beach so she's like well bye] Amelia: [that's very valid because you lowkey wouldn't be able to go anywhere without seeing someone either they know from school or Amelia's parents know the parents of] Jac: [exactly, it's an easy way to end things before anything really has to be said or done so tah everyone] Amelia: [I hope you're both going home, we don't need any more drama immediately] Jac: [my boo says get your ass back home] Amelia: [mhmm] Jac: [she has nowhere to be so I'm sure she's going back to bed lol] Amelia: [get your arse back home too Amelia even though I'm sure that girl has text you at Christmas and New Year's] Jac: [at least you weren't at the beach gal] Amelia: [I 100% vote you do see her when school starts though even though she in the year above and would have to seek you out lol] Jac: [my boo says let her have it] Amelia: [we do love the jealousy always] Jac: [mhmm] Amelia: [not letting you date her though because she actually seems to like you so that'd be rude] Jac: [only jac and savannah can do that lol] Amelia: [Savannah do like this boy cos he reminds her of Jac remember LOL] Jac: [lmao]

[punkscowardschampions]

Buster & Rio

Buster: I thought I saw her out last night. It wasn't Buster: I don't know how you stand it though Rio: I don't Rio: I've gone totally insane Rio: Thinking maybe that's what she was after, not enough to come back though Buster: Yeah. Maybe Buster: It's fucked Rio: That it is Rio: Enjoy the wild ride whilst you're here, like Buster: You could come back with me Buster: If you want Rio: No, I have to look after the others, don't I Buster: But who's looking after you, babe? Rio: Who better than me? Rio: Tons of practice, like Rio: Even if self-care ain't a priority Buster: Yeah Buster: Offer stands though Rio: Thanks Rio: Make a habit of it, your Mum and Dad will start charging me rent Buster: Nah they don't need any more cash Buster: insufferable already like Rio: That ain't the attitude, rich boy, never enough, like Buster: You don't have to tell me Buster: Just working on being funny for you, babe Rio: Would you like me to like and say you're improving? Buster: Nah Buster: Don't lie to me Rio: Nothing but truth bombs dropping from these lips Rio: On it Buster: Good Buster: How are you then? Rio: Sneaky Rio: Pretty shitty but getting used to it so, not as shitty as it was, I guess Rio: How about you? Buster: You looked anything but at Nance's thing, if that helps Buster: Yeah same Rio: Good to know I can still turn out a look Rio: Pretty fucked moneywise if I can't Rio: How long is it now, 'til she bursts? Buster: 4 months Rio: Over halfway there Rio: Well done on not totally losing your shit Buster: Cheers Buster: I reckon I have but don't spread that around, yeah? Rio: I'd sooner slate her still Rio: Don't worry Buster: I'm here for that any time Rio: Well, she posts every five fucking minutes so I've got plenty of material Buster: More like 2 minutes, ain't it? Buster: Fuck's sake Rio: The world needs to know Rio: Bless her Buster: I'd rather curse her but whatever Buster: If your sister could have a word like Rio: I think her witchcraft is pretty white (funny, I know) but I'll ask if she's willing to dabble in a bit of black Rio: Help the cause, like Buster: Could always bless my kid so it doesn't turn out like her. I'd take that Rio: Definitely more her speed Rio: At least it'll be cute regardless Buster: There you go admitting how hot I am again Rio: Maybe I really rate Chlo, thank you very much Buster: Well she's single if you wanna have a crack Rio: Yeah? Rio: I think she'd rather I was dead in a ditch but probably just playing hard to get, right? Buster: Yeah. There's a thin line, don't they reckon? Rio: 'They' might be engaging in some wishful thinking, I reckon Buster: Who wouldn't wanna think about you and Chlo lezzing off, I mean, come on Buster: Give the people what they want Rio: You're such a child Rio: A gross one at that Buster: I never said me Buster: If you want me to watch that's on you, in your head Rio: Shut up Rio: No one else is harbouring kinky fantasies about us both Rio: Unless that mate of yours has previous with baby mama too, like Buster: Probably does Buster: She's done a few rounds Rio: Not gonna shade a girl for weighing up her options Rio: not when there's other more valid reasons aplenty Buster: I don't harbour anything but hostility for her, just FYI Rio: Valid Rio: I'm not seeing the appeal myself Buster: Nance had a crush on her once, I reckon Buster: If she'd only sealed the deal I wouldn't be here Rio: Put aside her homophobia I'm sure it could've been a beautiful thing Buster: Yeah Rio: You and Nance talking a bit more now? Buster: I'm trying and I know she is too like Buster: Fuck it Rio: I'm glad Rio: It'll get there Rio: Was surprised to see you Rio: Nice surprise Buster: Yeah? Buster: I reckoned you'd want a warning but it was a last minute decision Rio: Nah, don't need to worry about me Rio: Bit awkward obviously but Nance really appreciated it, I could tell Buster: I know but Buster: Too awkward or do you wanna see me again, before I go? Rio: It was only awkward 'cos everyone else was there Rio: Can't tell a lie, remember? Rio: We could go for a drink or something Rio: if you wanna Buster: You know I do Rio: I dunno, things change Rio: Been a while Buster: Too long, if I'm not lying either Rio: I'd rather you didn't Rio: Had enough of your bullshit to last a lifetime, boy Buster: Of me too? Rio: Never Buster: Good Rio: Is it gonna be different when you're a Da? Buster: Why would it? Rio: 'Cos we won't be able to see each other like that Rio: You'll have responsibilities and shit Buster: You can see me whenever Buster: Just say Rio: Never mind Rio: I'm just overthinking things Buster: I can't blame you Buster: but seriously Buster: I can't stop thinking about you. That's the truth Rio: That's what I mean Rio: You gotta focus on more important things Rio: Your baby, School, all that real stuff Buster: You're real Buster: How you looked the other day was too fucking real Rio: It's just a game though isn't it Buster: What does that matter? Rio: Gotta stop playing at some point Rio: Gotta pick a winner and a loser Buster: Why? Rio: 'Cos that's how it works Buster: It works for us. However we want Rio: Stubborn Buster: Do you wanna stop? Rio: Not the point Buster: That's not an answer Rio: Not allowed to lie Buster: Then don't Buster: Tell me Rio: I don't want to stop Rio: Obviously Buster: So there's no problem Rio: Its that simple, is it? Buster: If can be Rio: I'm just saying Rio: I don't know what I'm saying Rio: But it's easy to hide shit from the world when we're avoiding them all, its gonna be a lot harder when you can't Rio: Are you sure you're up for that aggro? Buster: I'm a pro at hiding Buster: Ask Chlo Rio: As much as I don't doubt you're her fave topic of conversation Rio: I'm alright Buster: Look, I don't know what's gonna happen when the kid's here, yeah? Buster: but there's 4 months to go, remember Rio: I know Rio: I told you I was overthinking Rio: Just it has been a while Rio: Thought I'd be over it by now Rio: No offence, like Buster: Some taken Rio: Come on Rio: Not like we're playing for keeps here Rio: Maybe if we just fuck properly it'll get it out of our system for good? Buster: Worth a shot, like Buster: I'm going home tomorrow Rio: Oh Rio: When you wanna meet up then, right now? Buster: You got something else you'd rather do? Rio: No Rio: Just sooner than I thought Rio: Barely got over the last time, like Buster: We don't have to Rio: Are you angry at me? Buster: It sounds like a no, that's all Rio: I'm not ready Rio: to you know Rio: I don't know why I said it, except I'm being honest and I'm a bit drunk Buster: What's changed, except you're being honest and you're a bit drunk Rio: 'Cos I don't think its going to change anything Rio: fucking Rio: and I don't wanna do it just because I'm trying to prove a theory Rio: but now I said it so that's gonna be in your head Buster: Why do you wanna then? Buster: You said yourself we're not playing for keeps so what does it matter if it's to prove something or whatever else Rio: I want it to be like that night Rio: I wanted you so bad Buster: I can get you some coke Rio: That's not what I mean, don't purposefully misunderstand Buster: What you mean is you don't want me anymore, I understand loud and clear Buster: It's been too long, yeah? Whatever Rio: I knew I'd ruined it Rio: and I knew you were angry Rio: Forget about it Buster: Like I said, whatever Buster: If there's someone else you can tell me that too, it's fine Rio: Oh, there isn't Rio: I haven't got the space in my head to think about anything fucking else Rio: between you and my fucking sister and all that shit that happened there, all that shit I did Buster: You didn't do anything wrong Buster: With me or him Rio: If that were true Rio: Well Rio: Lots of things would be different, wouldn't they Buster: It's not your fault that he's a fucking pervert, Rio Rio: I'm 18, I'm not a kid Buster: He's known you since you were Rio: Yeah well, didn't stop me did it? Rio: He didn't just pounce on me outta nowhere Rio: You know that Buster: I know that you didn't want that Buster: Him Rio: I didn't think he would Rio: I didn't really mean it Rio: I'm so stupid Buster: I know, babe Buster: You're not stupid, he's fucked Rio: But I was part of it Rio: part of the reason Edie's gone Buster: No Buster: He's your best friend's dad. Your fucking sister's Buster: He shouldn't have gone near you Rio: Doesn't matter to her though Rio: He's never cared about her Rio: I'm the one who betrayed her Buster: It does and it will. She'll figure it out Buster: She just needs time. Her head's fucked Rio: Join the club, yeah? Buster: Yeah Buster: I'd run if I could. Ain't happening though Rio: You're better than him Buster: So are you Rio: Promise? Buster: Yeah. You are Buster: I could swear that on my kid's head when it comes out if you want Rio: No, don't do that Rio: I'm not up for using your kid as a betting chip Rio: Especially with the odds stacked against me, like Rio: I know me Buster: I know you too Buster: But cheers, don't really fancy being at the business end of Chlo sober like Rio: Eww Rio: You're terrible Buster: You love it Rio: Maybe Rio: How awkward though, if you make a baby, it should be from really great sex, shouldn't it? Rio: No way to start the poor kid off Buster: Not a question I wanna ask the rents about how me and Nance came about Rio: We all know the answer Rio: 10 kids, its not a question if mine were loving it Buster: Shut up Buster: You were the first though, could've been crap Rio: How dare you suggest such a thing Rio: Offended Buster: Just saying Buster: They were what? 15? Buster: Talk about stacked odds Rio: Ummm well, your parents have been with each other forever so how much experience have they racked up elsewhere before, hmm? Rio: Neither of mine were such saints Buster: Again, no desire to ask Rio: Aww, are you embarrassed? Buster: Fuck off Buster: Just 'cause you're a filthy perv like Rio: Guilty Rio: I'll ask 'em don't worry Buster: Please don't let me know Rio: Fine, fine Rio: Boring Buster: You wish, babe Rio: Yeah, would be easier to ignore Buster: Instead you couldn't ignore me if you tried Buster: Unlucky Rio: Sorry, did you say something? Rio: Hahah Buster: You want me to come whisper it in your ear, make sure you've heard Buster: See how you do then Rio: Do it Rio: You'd break first Buster: I won't Rio: We'll see Buster: Tell me where you are and we will see, yeah Rio: You can't come here Rio: Where do you wanna go Buster: I don't care Buster: Wait Buster: How drunk are you? Rio: I can't drive, if that's what you're suggesting Rio: Put some effort in, McKenna Buster: That's not what I meant Buster: I don't wanna see you tonight if you won't remember it tomorrow Rio: Film it for me Buster: Great idea that'd be Buster: Your brother would watch it, film nerd he is Rio: Don't be so disgusting, he's a baby! Rio: Your eyes only silly Buster: Exactly my point Buster: We can't be that stupid Rio: You've not gotta upload it Rio: ain't my first rodeo cowboy Rio: but fine Buster: Fuck Buster: I know you're joking but still Buster: Trying to kill me Rio: Am I? Rio: Never know now Buster: Rio Buster: stop playing Rio: Don't wanna Buster: You're such a fucking tease Rio: Yeah Rio: So are you Buster: You're worse Rio: You mean I win? Buster: Doesn't feel much like I'm losing Rio: I'm just that good Buster: Says you Rio: I offered you the chance to come find out for yourself Buster: But you also said you weren't ready for me to Buster: Which is it? Rio: I've changed my mind Rio: you've made me horny Rio: but you're too much of a gentleman, I know Buster: You're drunk, babe Buster: I really fucking want to, believe me but Rio: Its alright Rio: I know Buster: Remember when you said, not like this, I'm calling mine in Buster: Where are you though? I don't think you should be on your own just chilling like Rio: Understood Rio: Although we did have phone sex so I demand at least some pictures, thank you Rio: Its alright, I'm with Indie at their flat, s'why you can't come over Buster: Okay Buster: I can call you when she's asleep. Doesn't matter how late it is Rio: Okay Rio: You're nice, you know that Buster: Fuck off Buster: It don't count if I'm only nice to you Buster: And you know I want something Rio: It's okay, I won't tell Buster: Not allowed to lie, yeah? Gotta keep your word now Rio: Don't worry, only wanna sing your praises to you Rio: You're just the same old prick you always were with everyone else Buster: Yeah Buster: I can tell you this 'cause I know you won't remember and no fucker ever re-reads these Buster: I really miss you Rio: Wish I would remember Rio: Shame Rio: Miss you too Buster: Maybe soon I'll get to tell you again Buster: Since you can't ever ignore me like Rio: I don't wanna Rio: That's why Buster: I know Buster: and I don't want you to Rio: What do you want from me? Buster: You already know that Rio: But are you gonna not want me once you had it Rio: is it just to say you did, the conquest or whatever the fuck Buster: How could I not? Buster: I want you so bad Buster: You're so fucking sexy, yeah? Like perfect. It's bullshit Rio: So are you Rio: How are you real Buster: Most of the time I ain't Buster: But you already know that too Rio: Yeah Rio: but I see you Buster: Even when I don't want you to, yeah Rio: Sorry Buster: Don't be Buster: Someone should. I ain't mad it's you Rio: I don't hate it either Rio: Are we fucked up? Buster: I am, but not 'cause of this Rio: That's how I feel too Rio: So we must be right Rio: or both equally delusional Buster: I'll take either Rio: I like you Buster: I know Buster: You're not bad yourself, babe Buster: I don't wanna go home tomorrow. Fuck's sake Rio: Do you have to Rio: I picked a bad night to get fucked up Buster: No such thing Buster: But Chlo is cracking the whip, so no, but also yeah Rio: S'okay Rio: 'Til next time, McKenna Buster: There will be one, yeah? Rio: I hope so Rio: I can't wait much longer Buster: I know the feeling Buster: I will see you around, Cavante Rio: You owe me Rio: Remember Buster: Can't forget. Won't either