#and that there seems to be some semblance of a plot apparent

[midnight-pluto]

yk I was hoping for fun silly bsf Damian right?? NOT WHATEVER THAT WAS 😭😭

(I would 100% love another post elaborating on this if you want to make one. I eat up bsf Damian content)

WHITE LIES — headcanons, damian w.

well i mean since you asked— here’s some elaboration on my small facts and crumbs of my bsf!damian saga, series, whatever

contains: bsf!damian x gn!reader, angst, definitely not fluff, mentions of murder/sacrifice but in a symbolic way

a/n: this goes against my own rules for this blog, but who the fucks gonna stop me? n e ways pls read the ending a/n 🫶

there isn’t much you know about bsf!damian’s parents relationship except that his dads a whore

what he has told you is that his mom raised him abroad which was why bruce seemed practically unaware or unknowing of his existence before then, which seems to check out since he only came into the public eye only 2 years ago

due to both of his parents living in separate countries with different laws and with him being a minor, it’s hard to deduce when and where he’s gonna be at times

bsf!damian told you that the agreement his parents settled upon was that his dad gets to keep him for the majority of the school year but goes to stay with his mom for the majority of the summer

however, his mom is allowed to spontaneously pick him up only a few times during his school year which doesn’t seem quite right on your part but apparently his moms also loaded and his dad can’t really do anything about it

of course, it’s merely a cover up whenever he has to go on missions that take longer than just a free weekend

it's a hard lie to keep up, but as time goes on it gets easier to keep up and even harder for you to try and decipher anything that could potentially be wrong with bsf!damian’s stories

it'll be worth it in the end, won't it?

he tries his best to not listen to you when you talk about yourself, the less he knows about you the easier it is deceive you and eventually cut you off

but he listens

it's middle school, why should he take anything that happens here seriously? that includes you, bsf!damian doesn't see himself continuing to talk to you three years from now and he highly doubts that possibility

so what if he secretly wants to know you for eternity and onwards? despite his life being full of wealth bsf!damian still can’t afford being able to keep you in it for long

bsf!damian could barely scrape by deceiving you with an overly elaborate tapestry of all of the lies he’s ever fed you, but it’s for the better

it’ll be worth it in the end, won’t it?

his wants weren’t needs, and both as an assassin and robin that rule applied — except this time around he placed the average civilian’s life over his own

the universe never seemed to allow bsf!damian enjoy things for long, for you were merely a civilian he wanted to be by his side, wanting for your lack of expectations on how to present himself, but he didn’t need it

but it was for the better, for your safety and everyone else’s so you would be away from all the danger and destruction bsf!damian never failed to bring with him

it’ll be worth it in the end, won’t it?

it has to be

it has to be worth something, anything, for bsf!damian’s time being by your side to be cut short by his own hands, because if it isn’t then he just wasted his only semblance as a normal teenager, a child, away

you had bsf!damian and bsf!damian had you, if he let go of that without your safety from the countless revenge plots and villains that had it out for him ensured then he didn’t make a sacrifice, he committed a murder

and that was something damian had sworn off

a/n: no, this wasn’t made out of the multiple asks and comments asking for more bsf!damian content, i had already had this in the works when i made my last post about holding off on updates so for the month this may be my last actual post on bsf!damian, for the month.

[thr0wnawayy]

A Thought, A Theory

I'll probably make a more indepth post or may just update this one once the offical translations get dumped (which means pictures!), but I have a bit of a crack theory that chapter 430 isn't as real as we've been led to believe.

(As for when this actually takes place, that's up to you but I like to imagine the start of his third year marks the beginning of his mental decline)

This mostly comes from some inconsistencies in regards to the hero rankings and some other stuff

Its stated that Best Jeanist and Endeavor are still active. With the exception of Jeanist, this should not be possible for obvious reasons.

2. Something feels off visually and narrative-wise, I don't know how to describe this other than everything looks too ideallic. Like it feels too sanitized and sterile, this probably because Hori ripped the last bits of life this story had away. But hush. Also Aoyama is there didn't he leave UA? (and Japan)

3. Apparently people forgot the connection between Endeavor and Shoto. Normally this would be a good thing as Shoto would be able to become his own person.

This falls flat when you remember that also includes people forgetting the reason and happenings behind Shoto's existence, it just feels to good to be true. Everyone overlooks the bad and gets tunnel vision over any semblance of good.

Now you may be wondering, so what's going on.

Well, Midoriya's having a breakdown fantasy to cope with the fact that he won't be becoming a hero due to the loss of his quirk.

It sounds crazy but consider the following.

Midoriya subconsciously knows the way he's been treated was wrong. This manifests within the escapists fantasy in Bakugo's drop in the rankings + the attitude surrounding him (as well as his damaged hand never fully healing)

He meets a kid who just so happens to be in a near exact same position as he once* was (and still is to an extent). One could take this as his mind's way of trying to cope and heal itself, by having Midoriya do what he does best and help others, henceforth working though his trauma by using the kid as a stand in.

*Even the kid's "bully" seems to be a warped version of Bakugo (perhaps this is how Midoriya tries to fool himself into believing how it was)

We see Kota. I believe that here, Kota serves as what Midoriya thinks he could have been had he not failed. Kota is the idealized version of Midoriya here, the unobtainable.

I believe the abandonment/limited contact from his classmates to be based in reality, unfortunately. Whether it was by choice or forced by their PR to preserve their images (can't be seen around the "freaks" for too long, now can we?). The lie may come in the form of busy schedules.

(either it's what Midoriya tells himself or he's been told, you can't tell me they can't just make a group chat or video call. At least a High School Reunion)

The Mech Suit is a massive cope, it's the dying whimper of Midoriya's childish hope that All Might will save the day. This time there's no magic quirk, no garrish mech suit, no plot twist.

No. There's only Midoriya and the consequences of his, his classmates and hero societies actions. It doesn't matter how shiny and seamless the illusion, how sweet the lie.

You can't hide the blood.

[freesia-writes]

TOMORROW! 😍

Chapters 1-2 droppin at 5:55pm PST. 🤓

Enjoy a riveting tale of romance, suspense, adventure, and self-discovery as Hunter finds his path after the events of TBB. With engaging imagery, emotional depth, comic relief, and some fun twists and turns, the story will take you on a delightful ride with our beloved Sergeant, leaving you satisfied as he finds his happily ever after… eventually. 😉 Rated PG-13 for some mild suspense, suggestive talk, alcohol and drug use, and adult themes. Banner and dividers by @pinkiemme Master List here

WHAT YOU CAN EXPECT...

Gonna post 2 chapters each Friday in separate posts, but they'll all be linked together. Each chapter is around 2-3k words, so you'll get a nice lil 4-6k chunk each week to enjoy together or separately.

Join the Tumblr tag list here.

Join the tag list Discord server here -- no chatting or notifications other than posts of chapters or my other writing.

BEFORE WE DIVE IN...

Now that we’re past the finale, I’d like to make this fit in as well with that as possible. But I also want to enjoy it. So here’s where the story begins...

Tech was found alive and well (living in a hut in the forest on Tantiss? lol) and came with the boys after they BLEW IT ALL UP. Omega is living with them as well, for now, because they all thought it was wise to give her a break and some semblance of “normal life” while the rebellion continued to build. She might seem a little less like a full soldier here and more like a typical teenager on the brink of adulthood, and that might be a bit of a shift from her development throughout season 3, but I think it’s still reasonable to think that some of the typical adolescent stuff might come up once she was immersed into a more typical adolescent setting. Maybe not, but again… it’s for the plot. 😉

I’m changing the setting for a variety of reasons that will become apparent throughout the fic, but they left Pabu out of fear that the Empire might still have it on their radar. You’ll learn more about the island of Xylo in a couple chapters. Crosshair didn’t lose a hand, but he’s still got some lingering effects from his time on Tantiss. Echo opted to spend a year with the Batch before rejoining the rebellion.

The events of this fic may seem relatively domestic after all that the Batch endured, but I really just wanted to have a warm and fuzzy story with family, humor, love, and some plot twists. Ultimately, the purpose here is to enjoy a romance adventure with Hunter, so please forgive any plot holes and just enjoy the ride. 😉

[lemonhemlock]

I love Larys this season and his scenes with Aegon that's all. Compelling and Matthew Needham is quite a force. Well and Rhaena hunting down Sheepstealer is good. Nothing else is fun.

i agree about larys with the one caveat i'm going to list below

larys is probably the one green character who makes the most sense, both that his characterisation is consistent AND the way others view him and his reactions to that MAKE SENSE. larys is still larysing but when aemond proves to be a contrarian he switches back to aegon. for once, aemond's shenanigans get proper consequences from his small councilors.

how does alicent not have any leverages against being dismissed when she is the one hightower representative left? sure, aemond sends back for otto, but do you think the story frames that as compensation for dismissing alicent or did the writers feel obligated to bring him back bc he needs to have his death scene? not one braincell was put into this. daemon does shit in the riverlands and the riverlords STAND UP and bully him back. he also has a big scary dragon and they don't give a shit, so it CAN be done, the writers know deep down how to do this, IF THEY CAREF

why is tyland not putting his foot down and demanding something for house lannister? his brother has a bunch of maiden daughters and daeron is unmarried and has a dragon. the frey lord and lady negociated with jace for their support, jeyne arryn is PISSED that she didn't get what she wanted

what the hell is ironrod even doing? he threw in his lot with aemond but aemond doesn't seem to like him or even give a shit about him so why doesn't he have some kind of reaction. i guess the discussion with larys could have been a step in the right direction because you can say he is testing out the waters to see if he can curry favour with aemond by offering up intel OR if he could forge an alliance with larys and go from there

and this is where i have an issue with the writing bc, on the one hand, they are categorically NOT portraying larys as incompetent, but they are also inadvertently making him SO BAD at his job by making these stupid changes from the book. another symptom of wanting to have one's cake and eat it too. the city is in lockdown but rhaenyra can sneak in, no problem, elenda can not only sneak in, she can access an entire network of pro-rhaenyra agents larys somehow knows nothing about, can raise literal riots, can recruit dragonseeds (why do you even need dragonseeds from KL when you're living on dragonstone?!), rhaenyra's food can reach the population somehow even though there are checkpoints at every entry, the dragonseeds can leave by boat and LARYS KNOWS NOTHING ABOUT ANY OF THIS 🧍and no one even thinks to ask him 'hey wtf is going on? you're kinda fired'. but they can't, can they? they can't get rid of larys because he is important to the plot and they need him in the thick of things!

there's a dumbass post circulating now in which someone ✨generously✨ gives people permission to complain about the show but without bringing that "boring book" (FB) into discussion for a comparative analysis. because apparently the book is bad but somehow not bad enough to keep watching tv media derived from it 🤡

the problem with HotD is that it makes FB the pinnacle of logic and storytelling. it doesn't fix any problems, it compounds them. this shit with larys would not fly in the book bc it is dumb as fuck! so you can't help but compare it to the book where these things did not have to be explained away by waving a magic wand or getting a lobotomy

this post is long enough as it is and other people have already explained the problem with the rhaena storyline, so i won't get into it right now, but, in a nutshell: her story can make sense in a void, she get a semblance of an arc: she wanted a dragon and now she will get one and goes on a journey of re-defining her identity, i suppose, after having been dismissed as not sufficiently targaryen as a result of her being dragonless. so, it's the classic problem of making sense in a watsonian way, in the context of the show, but in a doylist way it's Not The Best because they have to delete the only canonically POC low-born character. so we lose that perspective in a show that already prioritizes the highborn

larys has the same problem with him being a sexual deviant directly connected to his disability. as an individual character, it can be explained and justified, but as representation for disabled people (who suffer from a severe lack of representation in media as is), it's Not Great

[headfullof-ideas]

Presenting two more characters and their redesigns in my HTTYD/The Deep story! One is more involved in the story, but the other makes PLOT, and neither really ever interact or connect to one another plot wise to my immediate knowledge in the overall story.

Introducing Savage and Eret!

Savage is not an Outcast and Alvins right hand man, but a true Berserker warrior, serving Oswald and his family for years. But when Oswald the Antagonistic becomes Oswald the Agreeable, Savage starts to grow restless. The Berserkers aren’t at war with the Berkians and surrounding tribes anymore, Oswald trying to maintain a semblance of peace in the dragon-war ridden Archipelago. Savage is a follower, not a natural born leader, but years of peace treaty after peace treaty, and babysitting Oswalds whelps has made him seek out other like-minded Berserkers, planning an uprising against the passive Chieftain. Oswald seemed to have caught on to what Savage was doing, escaping their attempted assassination, and now Savage is trying to commandeer the Berserker Tribe as a whole through sewing doubt amongst the tribe against Oswalds children, and trying to pit the siblings against one another in hopes they’ll simply get rid of the other for him. Savage isn’t good at thinking things through though, especially what the aftermath of his plans to stage a coup or civil war amongst the tribe to try and take leadership might be.

Eret son of Eret is a budding Dragon Trapper, partaking in his father’s business of trapping dragons and bringing them to Auction Markets run by the Grimborn brothers. Dragon Trapping was introduced to Erets family through his paternal Grandfather, with loans being taken from the wrong people, with no money to pay them back leading his Grandfather to Dragon Trapping. With similar habits being passed on to his son, Eret Sr, Eret has been taken on as crew for his fathers quest to pay off the debts his grandfather failed to pay, and his fathers own drunken mistakes. Eret isn’t sure how to feel about it all, his father pushing the looming mantle of Captain on to Eret as his eventual future, leaving whatever debts his father fails to pay before retirement for Eret to try and absolve, with old bedtime stories from his deceased mother and her side of the family speaking of dragons being more than wild animals. Eret’s been grappling with his internal struggles for a few years now, and a sudden interaction with some Archipelagon teenagers apparently riding dragons only rattles his inner beliefs even more.

I decided to go a bit of a different route with Savage in this story, making him a member of the Berserker tribe instead of the Outcasts. There are a lot of elements of his prior design still in this one, but he’s got a lead part in a lot of the early Berserker central arks and plots, especially in Heathers early story, and why she makes some of the decisions she does in Riders and Defenders of Berk, which has a sort of butterfly effect on the way she is in RTTE. He’s not a MAIN villain like the Grimborn brothers, Alvin, Heather, Drago, and a certain someone from the games, more of a small villain and a reoccurring nuisance. He gets his comeuppance however, as he’s not good at thinking things through, especially in the long run, and eventually gets revealed for all his nefarious schemes, and promptly exiled

Eret is a little different to the swashbuckling Dragon Trapper that’s in HTTYD 2, but he’s also nearly five years younger, a little older than Dagur and around the age that the riders were in RTTE. So, eighteen-nineteen-nearly twenty. He’s not Captain of the ship yet, and dealing with a lot of inner family struggles and trying to come to terms with what his future may hold. Generational and pawned off debt is how I play off (Headcanon wise) how he came to be under Drago’s employment in the films, and I’m playing with the setting of the early stages of how that happened here. With his grandfather and father both taking loans they couldn’t keep or pay back, and turning to Dragon Trapping to try and pay them off. Afterall, dragon parts and living dragons sell for a LOT of money. The Dragon Riders throw a bit of a wrench in things though, and Eret ends up being one of their first allies beyond Dagur and someone else in the Archipelago. He’s also a little shorter and not nearly as beefy as he is five years from then, not having the experience to build up that kind of muscle yet. I did this partly because of his age, and partly because Nico Marlets early concept art for him (whose HTTYD art I love and want tattooed to my brain) had him being a little more scrawny, and so I thought that was a nice callback

More characters to come…eventually, as it takes time to draw these, especially with the designing process I go through

[saibug1022]

Let the Shadows Fall Behind You

Word Count: 1.1k

Taylor (ES MC) and Callum Wyland (Hero MC), Jake McKenzie x Taylor (ES MC)

A/N: Okay. There's gonna be a lot of things in here that don't make sense. That's because this scene takes place in a crossover/sequel I'm starting to plan. But even before I had any semblance of a plot for that I had this scene bouncing around in my head. So, I very much hope you like it

“Are you okay?”

“Hm?” Taylor hummed as he looked over to where Callum was sitting across the green fire. The taller man was watching him, almost studying him. At first, it was kind of unnerving, especially for such a kind guy, but over time Taylor had gotten used to it. The familiarity of it was even comforting sometimes. He supposed that was what happened when you spent weeks with a person day in and day out. At least, he assumed it was weeks. He wasn’t sure if time was passing the same way on Earth.

The green fire made from Taylor’s newfound powers with the light of the glowing prisms studding the cave walls around them made Callum look like some sort of otherworldly being. Which to be fair, he was. They both were. Yet despite that and despite the fact they were in another dimension, Callum was wearing a literal superhero suit, and Taylor’s eyes turned green when he got pissed off, the whole situation still felt so very human. And yet…

“You’ve barely said a thing for the last three days and you’ve been staring at the fire like it personally offended you,” Callum explained. “All we have left to make a portal home is the Realm Prism and we’re closing in on it. We’re so close but you don’t really seem excited.”

“It’s complicated,” Taylor sighed. Callum chuckled, turning his mask over in his fingers. Taylor’s mask, the one he got from the Vaanti, was sitting next to him on the ground. 

“I mean, I’m an alien superhero who got beat up by my boss, who was also my friend’s dad, after he got juiced up on prism energy,” Callum pointed out. “And then I got sent to another dimension, where I’m apparently from, because said boss blew up. And you’re a being of sentient magic energy that my people worship, but you crashed on earth and became an island only to also give yourself a mortal body which you now permanently inhabit. And that’s not even mentioning the time loop, the other version of yourself, the species that were living on your island, or that my boss’s rival was going to use your power to literally rewrite reality. Our whole lives are complicated.”

“You’re not wrong,” Taylor laughed. He sighed again. Truth be told, he was excited. Excited, relieved, happy, all the positive emotions. This was all he’d wanted since the rooftop when he fused with the rest of Vaanu to save his friends and the rest of the world. But now that they were possibly only days away from getting back…there was something eating at him. Something he’d never really thought about. “I don’t…I don’t know what to do.”

“What do you mean?” Callum prompted. “Like with the rest of the journey to the Prism?”

“No, I mean when we get back to Earth,” Taylor said. He looked away from Callum and instead studied his own hands like the answer would be written somewhere on his skin. “It’s like you said, before the time loop and before I gave myself form I was basically sentient energy. I didn’t even have a life here, and all the memories of life on Earth were completely fake. Even then, I only have a few of those, all from the year leading up to the trip, and all with Diego. I’m not a real person. I know things but I’ve never actually gone to school or gotten a job or been anywhere other than La Huerta.”

“Well, do you have anything you want to do?” Callum wondered. 

“I don’t know that either,” Taylor admitted. “Maybe actually going to college would be nice?”

“There ya go, that’s something,” Callum smiled. “The good thing about college is you go to school and such but you also learn how to be a person at the same time. And, everyone in college is weird and a disaster, so at least you won’t stick out.”

“You sound like you had a great college experience.” 

“I majored in Communications at Ohio University. I wasn’t exactly a party animal either. But I was around, and trust me I saw enough to know college students are just high schoolers with money and more access to alcohol.” 

“I only knew ten college students and honestly that sounds accurate.”

Taylor and Callum shared a laugh like they had many times before. Sometimes it felt like those laughs were the only things keeping them going. This journey they were on together was dark and hard, but even for a moment, it made the tension in their shoulders lighter. It made the shadows just a little bit brighter. 

But then the moment ended. The laughter faded out and the tension came back. The shadows got dark again. The memories and anxieties returned.

“All of that’s just a dream though,” Taylor sighed. Callum frowned and walked around the fire to sit next to Taylor instead. The flames made his eyes look like they were glowing. 

“Why would that just be a dream?” Callum questioned.

“Because I don’t exist,” Taylor said.

“Huh?”

“Legally I mean,” Taylor elaborated. “Rourke couldn’t find a single thing on me except a birthday which I now know was made up. He even thought my birthplace was La Huerta. And like I said, all my memories are fake. I’m not a real person. I don’t have parents or a family or a birth certificate or a diploma or anything. I don’t even have a last name.”

“Then pick one,” Callum shrugged. 

“Just pick a last name,” Taylor repeated.

“Yeah,” Callum nodded. “I mean, you technically picked Taylor, right? I came through a dimensional portal so my mom just picked me a first name and gave me her last name. People change their names all the time whether it’s GNC people, people who need a fresh start, people getting married, whatever. Pick any last name you want and as soon as we get back and deal with all this stuff and we reunite with everyone I’ll help you figure out all the paperwork myself.”

“Just pick a last name…” Taylor hummed as he thought about it. 

He didn’t even know very many last names. Just the common ones and those of his friends. Maybe he could use Vaanu as a last name? That could work he supposed but it didn’t feel quite right. His eyes darted around aimlessly as his brain searched for inspiration but all he saw were crystals, the cave walls, their masks, and his spear. A smile found its way onto his face as he looked at the beautiful flower tied to the spear, the flower he kept preserved with his powers.

“McKenzie,” Taylor finally said. 

“Mckenzie?” Callum replied.

“That’s the name I pick.”

“Taylor McKenzie, huh? I like it.”

“Yeah…me too.”

[inkyweenus]

Post 8 edit: This has nothing to do with EP8, but I still stand by it.

I was kinda frustrated at first with how little actual plot information we've been getting each episode, but then I realized that if we got any semblance of a plan from Lu Guang, that would mean that Xiao Li would also probably get that information, and then he'd fuck up everything with sheer incompetence.

I mean... it's pretty much his fault that both of his partners are dead, and if it weren't for Qiao Ling reigning him in, he'd have done a lot more damage already. But she's reigning everyone in this season. Post 8 edit: I stand by this QL statement even more now. Although, because of the shitty subtitles, I'm not 100% sure if Wang Juan is actually dead yet.

Love that for Qiao Ling. But back to Xiao Li:

I have very little sympathy for him.

As a boss, he never gave his subordinate a day off. Not even to have a proper wedding. Or to care for his pregnant wife and unborn child. And after working Chen Bin several days in a row without even letting the man go home to sleep, XL was too caught up in getting some civilians to do his job that he didn't even notice CB leave the room during a time that he said himself everyone was to be on high alert. And we all know what happened after that.

And then after seeing his dead partner fall from the sky, XL was knocked out by random extras he knew would probably be afoot, rendering him incapable of doing anything while those civilians and some old people safely (?) apprehended the suspects.

(Okay, that one isn't fair. He was definitely in shock. But still.)

And then once he was conscious and back to work, he demanded the civilians continue to do his job for him, even though one was literally hooked into a hospital bed, because he's not even competent enough to look into cases that his former colleague-turned-evil and current antagonist was involved with during his downward spiral.

And then, he doesn't even wonder why some random unidentifiable witness only wants to talk to this civilian that shouldn't isn't publicly on the case but is essentially running it. XL just gives said civilian, who minutes before exited the scene of a double homicide while experiencing not only his own emotions but those of the child watching her mother (and almost brother) be beaten to death, a crash course on police interrogation and says, "Go get 'em, Tiger!"

And then, after losing his first trusted partner to a person who has proved capable of possessing anyone to do anything including kill themself and kill their friends, he established a whole buddy system to avoid people getting possessed and hurt but said his currently assigned partner was fine to go alone because he trusted her and she's "strong." Isn't that even more reason to not want her to potentially get possessed? It literally just happened to a cop you trusted, so it's not like the law makes them immune.

And then when his new partner, this civilian he can't stop traumatizing, and the person that has admitted on mic to be the one possessing people went missing after acting suspicious on camera AND MICROPHONE, he didn't even bother to call and notify the guard posted at the exit, who was also not part of this buddy system apparently. Like... Where did you think they were escaping from, the air vents?! This isn't a spy novel. And you left the one guy who's in charge of people coming in and out of the premise alone and totally out of the loop?? When one of the people involved is a former cop that people around here seem to kinda trust a bit?!

AND THEN he couldn't even catch the kid he put a tracker on, but this time he didn't even have to ask the civilians to do his job for him. They just heard that CaPtaIn XiAo was on the case and immediately jumped into action--evading police and hijacking vehicles to triangulate their partner's location by land and sea to prevent his capture

(at least for now... things can go south pretty quick and I'm just being dramatic while I wait for this episode to drop) Post 8 edit: Obviously things were going to get worse first. Would love some understandable subtitles to really know how much worse, though.

Or.

He's actually the bad guy and all of this was on purpose. I think I'd be okay with that.

[alicentsgf]

hey! i started following you only recently so i don’t know if anyone has already asked you, if that’s the case i apologise in advance, but i like the way you express your opinions and the way you put things when you talk about things you like/don’t like, so i wanted to ask you if you liked emily carey’s and olivia cooke interpretation of alicent in hotd ,,

hope you have a nice day/night ✨

Hi babe! Thank you so much - I'm gonna try and sum up my feelings on this because I do have some thoughts. I think by and large we've got it really good with the HotD cast in general theres only very few comments they've made where I personally disgree, and none of those are from Emily or Olivia.

Beyond all the repressed lesbian jokes I do think making the subtext of Alicent's character repression and queerness and shame was... Inspired actually. And that apparently came primarily from the actresses. Emily and Olivia saw the potential on the page and really elevated it. Alicent in the book was sometimes implied to be a bit of a (heterosexual) sex pest, as women are oft remembered to be when history wants to blame them for every terrible thing that happened to them... (should I reference Anne Boleyn again?) So the writers critiquing that element by flipping it on its head for the show, and the actresses taking that and going 'actually she was incredibly sexually repressed and its at least in part because this world would never have even let her recognise what she desired' was a great direction to go with it. Because this is a world that does not encourage women to have any sexual agency, or even an awareness of their own sexuality (in Alicent's case). Just look at Rhaenyra - look at the consequences she faces for the semblance of sexual agency she enjoys. So yeah, call me biased lmao but making Alicent the poster girl for catholic shame and queer sexual repression and then putting her next to Rhaenyra, who isnt ashamed or sexually repressed at all, really drives home how neither of them could win; gilded cage, gilded handcuffs, a gilded knife at your throat... choose your pretty affliction if you like, it all ends the same anyway. And they were always going to make Alicent her father's puppet, someone who cant comprehend her own desires, so the actresses building on that and making her a closeted lesbian, who cannot even fathom what desire means because she is so repressed that she doesn't even know how to want anymore. In a lot of ways her longing for intimacy with Rhaenyra isnt even sexual, because she'd have to cut through the calcified surface of her sexual appetite for what she feels to become lustful. And Olivia herself basically said this I think.

I do think I prefer Olivia's portrayal, even though Emily's young Alicent is still incredibly important to me. I just think Emily's youth worked against her even as it was so necessary to role because Olivia's just a more seasoned actress and she seems relaxed enough to make choices that really added to her performance where Emily has a slight stiffness sometimes. Also its not really a fair comparison because I truly believe Olivia is out-acting every single person on that set, not just Emily. Don't get me wrong they're all incredible actors but the only other person coming at all close for me is Paddy, or maybe TGC (but I haven't seen enough of him yet to say that definitively).

I just keep coming back to the knife scene and how well acted that was by Olivia. The pain and righteous anger was all too palpable and you could really plot Alicent's emotional journey playing out so beautifully in Olivia. She and Paddy really were the dream team the way they played off each other - that shot where Viserys gets in Alicent's face, the uncertainty and guilt in Viserys eyes even as he all but growls at Alicent because even he doesn't really believe what hes saying but hes not going to back down, and Alicent with her tear-streaked face - the realisation he will never ever choose her or her children first even when they are bleeding and pleading for him so obvious in her eyes. I really feel the framing did Olivia so dirty because they made it so difficult for people to truly understand Alicent's perspective but absolutely none of that was Olivia's fault, she played Alicent to a T.

[duhragonball]

Dragon Ball Super 006

This one is kinda sorta good.  Thanks, Vegeta.

So Beerus has gone to Earth, which... looks like our Earth now?  I mean, Dragon World Earth had a very different geography, so I know this seems like a nitpick, but it’s also a pretty major gaffe, depending on your point of view. 

He sneaks up on Vegeta and screws with him for no apparent reason.  So we’re pretty far afield of the movie at this point.  I mean, it follows the same basic plot structure, but the circumstances are different.  In the movie, Beerus approaches Vegeta directly, and asks about the Super Saiyan God straightaway, and with respect, albeit with the respect a mortal deserves from a god. 

Here, though, Beerus is a real asshole for some reason, and when Vegeta finally spots him, Beerus paralyzes him with some weird power he never used before.  Then Vegeta recognizes him...

... Because he remembers Beerus using the same power against him decades ago, when Beerus visited Planet Vegeta.  The flashback to King Vegeta was in the movie, but this episode expands on it by showing why Beerus was displeased with him. Beerus tasked King Vegeta with finding the universe’s most comfortable pillow, which King Vegeta accomplished, albeit later than expected.  That doesn’t bother Beerus, nor the wholesale slaughter King Vegeta committed to achieve the mission.  No, what irritated Beerus was how King Vegeta tried to trick Beerus by keeping the pillow for himself, while giving Beerus the universe’s second most comfortable pillow.

Also, in this version, young Prince Vegeta tries to attack Beerus, but he gets immobilized by Beerus’ new paralysis beam or whatever. 

Otherwise, things mostly play out the same way, except we’re on a boat and when Bulma invites Beerus to her party, there’s different activities.  Krillin brings out a game of “takoyaki roulette.”  Everyone takes turns eating takoyaki balls, but one of them is full of wasabi.  The game is kind of pointless for Beerus and Whis, since they aren’t familiar with the food, but they enjoy the takoyaki anyway, much to Vegeta’s relief.

Later, Goten and Trunks are playing with water guns, and accidentally spray Beerus, so Vegeta distracts him by diving into the ocean, Gallick Gunning a huge octopus, and making takoyaki balls in one of the food booths.  So this is basically the DBS version of the Videl-getting-shot/Vegeta-Bingo-dance part of the movie.

But the pudding part pretty much plays out as before.  I will say that they did make some nice choices with this scene.

Buu vs. Beerus was one of those things that could have been expanded a little in the movie, so it’s not as objectionable when DBS does it here.  Their confrontation is just as one-sided, but it last a little longer and the camera angles are a little cooler. 

Also, as Beerus beats up Buu, he repeats the same speech he gave to King Vegeta in the flashback, since Buu’s offense was basically the same.  Beerus is quite tolerant of mortal shortcomings to a certain point, but when they fail to respect him, either by switching pillows or licking pudding out of spite, that’s when he flips his shit.  So it ties in nicely with the start of the episode. 

Of course, the only problem I have with that is that Beerus spared King Vegeta all those years ago.  He ordered Frieza to destroy Planet Vegeta in his place, but that implies some semblance of clemency, since he was literally standing on Planet Vegeta but didn’t destroy it at the moment.  And yet, this episode wants us to think Beerus is guaranteed to destroy the Earth today.  It’s a little wonky. 

Mostly, though, I respect this episode for trying to do something with the source material, rather than just repeat it at a slower pace and with uglier visuals. 

[sweetcloverheart]

Clover Rants Miraculously: Twice is a pattern... (Put under Readmore for spoilers)

I feel like the thing that bothers me about the whole “Lila and Kagami become friends so the former can turn the latter against Marinette because evil” isn’t that it isn’t a good storyline (Honestly, I’m kind of super interested in seeing what sort of dynamic they might develop through their new “friendship”) - it’s that they’ve done this with Lila like, two times already with “Chameleon” and “Ladybug”. I wanna see some new schemes from her - Where’s “Lila befriends Kagami to get an in with the rich people Illuminati/have a backup in case Gabemoth screws her over.”, or “Lila befriends Kagami because she thinks she’s friends with Ladybug and wants to learn her weaknesses” or “Lila befriends Kagami because she learns she was Adrien’s ex and wants to use her to get info on him so she can better mess with the Adrienette relationship/steal him from Marinette/get closer to him.” or even “Lila pretends to befriend Kagami because evil but then starts seeing they actually have a lot of similarities/share interests and accidentally becomes gay real friends with her”? (or maybe even “Kagami knows Lila’s trying to trick/use her to hurt Marinette and is pretending to go along with it so she can use her back because she knows she has a connection to Monarch/Hawkmoth and then also accidentally becomes gay real friends with her over unexpected similarities”)

I also, like a lot of people, feel like it’s...kind of a huge step back for Kagami’s character after all she’s been through in series and the development of her friendship with Marinette - especially when you consider how her whole breakdown in “Perfection” was related to her fearing she isn’t considered a good friend to her. Plus Kagami is established as someone who values truth (to the point she broke up with Adrien specifically because he wouldn’t be honest with her). Honestly, after what happened when she became Ryukomuri, she should have ended her friendship with Lila right then and there and would not have given her the second chance she did in “Protection” (Though considering her response to her in “Emotion”, she’s at least putting some distance in). Purposely putting the two together just so Kagami can get tricked/strung along by someone trying to take advantage of her (again) frankly seems just sort of...meanspirited to her whole character.

There’s also the whole thing about how she’s apparently now in love with Adrien again and is then going to be paired with his identical twin cousin yeah no problems there. I mean, similar to the Lila-friendship thing, I am sort of interested in seeing where they go with rekindling Adrigami (even onesidedly) - but it is kind of annoying that instead of either simply creating a new love rival (which frankly I can’t really recommend when the cast is already kind of bloated as is) or making use of the ones they still have like Chloe (Unless the crush ends after he ends their friendship - actually wait, is she still supposed to be in love with him after “Derrision”?), the show instead opted to shove Kagami back into her intro-phase role because apparently we simply can’t have her just move on from her old relationship and continue her friendship with Marinette, especially since Adrienette’s already canon anyway now that they’re dating - nah, let’s just make her a love rival again so she can act as a potential future Adrienette obstacle to give some semblance of romantic conflict. It’s like the writers ran out of idea of what to do with Kagami outside the Lila-friend plot, so they’re brought back the season 3 crush in the hopes of padding things out. And yeah, I know sometimes people fall back in love with old partners and feelings can’t be helped, but the fact that they did this so the story could (once again) have Kagami go full yandere and attack a girl over her possessiveness of Adrien, seems to be setting up some kind of pattern (or precedent) that I’m not really liking...

[axxolotlqueen]

THE MIRACULOUS MOVIE WAS SHIT. THEY SPENT ALLL THE BUDGET ON ANIMATION AND FORGOT TO GIVE IT A PLOT. OH MY GOD IT WAS TRASH.

Now I'm being harsh here and I know it, but below are some of the very real reasons why this movie absolutely let me down. (Also is this unfair and am I hating on it? Yes. But I cried bc I couldn't watch it this morning because my dog ate my glasses. We literally paid 400 bucks so I could see this movie today. I wasn't even that upset about the glasses I just wanted to see the movie)

Marinette's VA is LITERALLY A SINGER and they chose to have someone who sounds NOTHING LIKE HER sing instead. It sounded like Olivia Rodrigo and I'm not shitting on her but the voices DO NOT MATCH! the singer for chat was immaculate tho. Much better than the Christmas special.

The storyline was so weird. It felt way too fast paced, also, LADYBUG NEVER USED HER LUCKY CHARM ONCE! they only transformed once on screen, and the cataclysm was only used once. AND THE CATACLYSM WAS WET! IT WAS WET AND BUBBLY! WHAT THE HELL!?

Also they tried to make Gabriel seem like a good father. Adrien forgave him in the end. And he doesn't seem like a sentibeing in this movie. Is it true there's gonna be 2 more movies? How? Everything was wrapped up, and the butterfly is WITH FU so it's not like it'll get lost again.

It was such a cheesy movie, which, while expected, still makes the show look like gold. There was barely any angst, and the angst was SO OVERDONE OH MY GODDD..

One thing I did like though is how they portrayed Chloé. They made her meaner, and even more of a bitch, even presumably coming to actually beat up Marinette (or make Sabrina do it most likely). I loved that because it matches more with pre-show Chloé that we learned of in s5e14.

The animation was beautiful, but again, I think they spent all the money on that and forgot to save any for the writing.

Also, HAWKMOTH CAN'T AKUMATIZE HIMSELF UNLESS HE DETRANSFORMS!

ALSO ALSO

Apparently they got rid of the status quoyo, so the damage legit just stays there? Except the ending, where ladybug earns back restoration powers through love and believing in herself. Not to mention chanting ladybug was ripped out of the s4 finale. So all the REALLY BAD DAMAGE was taken care of, but like, THE NOTRE DAME WAS FUCKING DESTROYED AND IT HAD TO BE FIXED BY HAND!

ALSO also also, no such thing as breaking the akumatized object, hawkmoth just deakumatized them when they failed. Also, why the hell is everyone reading the paper?? Bro it's digital now??

I think I would've liked the songs if they'd had Christina, or at LEAST someone that had ANY SEMBLANCE TO HER VOICE AT ALL.

Overall, 11/10 animation, 0/10 story, 6/10 music

[wondereads]

Personal Review

The Spirit Bares Its Teeth by Andrew Joseph White

Summary

Silas is a boy. He's known it for years. Unfortunately, born with violet eyes, England's Speaker Society, those who can communicate with the dead, is set on using the body he was born with as a tool to breed more of their own. When Silas is caught trying to secure his freedom, he is sent to Braxton's, a finishing school for young girls afflicted by Veil sickness. Struggling against everyone who tells him he is a girl, even himself, Silas uncovers a conspiracy at Braxton's that threatens everything he loves.

TW: medical content/trauma, transphobia, gore, forced institutionalization, misogyny, ableism, homophobia, attempted rape, sexual assault, abortion, body horror, pedophilia, abuse, mutilation, attempted suicide, animal cruelty, mental illness

Plot 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

While I would say that despite there being a lot of character-generated conflict, there's quite a bit of plot in this book. While the main plot isn't introduced until a while in, Silas' situation and potential escape are enough to keep things going in the first bit. I wouldn't say that there are necessarily any plot twists in this book. There are certainly reveals, but once you've become accustomed to the cruelty of the men around Silas it's more of a confirmation than a twist.

This book is definitely not for the faint of heart. As you could probably predict from the extensive trigger warning list, this book is a very disturbing read. Each of those warnings is for something graphic, and I mean graphic. The horror of what women and gender non-conforming people of the time had to go through is very adequately portrayed and in excruciating detail. White's other book is also horror, and it seems that this is where he thrives. What Silas and the girls at the school go through is truly horrendous, but it all plays into the plot. They are never suffering just for shock value or anything like that, and the ending is quite satifying.

My one criticism is the worldbuilding. While I found it interesting and unique, I do wish it had been fleshed out a bit more. Silas is constantly mentioning how much power the Speakers have, particularly within England, but it's never really explained how that came to be and what that means outside of the high society circles. Other than that, I was engaged and on the edge of my seat the whole time!

Characters 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Silas is an incredibly well-written character with apparent flaws and distinctive voice who is still sympathetic and likable. From the very beginning, readers can instantly grasp the horrible life he has had from being unable to conform, both in terms of gender and his autism. As such, his continuing aspirations are admirable, and his extreme hesitance to speak or act out are understandable. Silas' growth to become secure in his actions and his identity is amazing, and incredibly satisfying to read.

While the odds of Silas meeting a trans girl, especially one in such a convenient position to help him, is a little unrealistic, I loved the introduction of Daphne. She did seem a little too perfect at times, but in a world where they have so little hope, her and Silas' relationship was a welcome ray of light, even if it did progress a little quickly for my liking.

The side characters were amazing. The girls at the school, particularly Mary and Louise, who while unlikable at first are fleshed out quite well. Mary in particular has a pretty great arc, and her scenes of grief were heart-wrenching. Charlotte and George are characters I love to hate. Incredibly interesting from an analysis perspective but scum of the earth from any other. I also really liked how the antagonists got no redemption. They were horrible people, and they were dealt with as such.

Writing Style 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

Overall, I would say the writing is pretty standard for YA, especially in the in-between scenes where things are some semblance of 'normal'. However, there are two things that bump up the rating for me. First, I loved the rabbit as a metaphor for Silas' insecurities and also survival drive. It puts Silas' fears in a clear context that makes understanding him much easier.

Also, while incredibly disturbing and often having the effect of making me feel queasy, the small intermissions from the perspectives of the dead girls were phenomenal. They add so much tension and urgency to the story, and they got some of the most visceral emotional reactions from me.

Meaning 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10 (spoilers in this section)

This book is fundamentally about a trans, autistic boy trying to make his way in a world that insists on placing roadblocks wherever he goes. Silas' determination is so admirable, and I think it is very important that this book ends happily. Yes, Silas and the girls went through the most horrendous times of their lives, and some of them didn't make it out, but some of them did, and they get to experience peace for once in their lives. This book brings attention to the horrible things people went through during this time, but it isn't completely hopeless, and I think that's quite important in this day and age.

Overall 1  2  3  4  5  6  7  8  9  10

This book was amazing. There are very few bad things I could say about it, and most of those are personal preference. Now, it isn't for everyone, as it's basically gothic horror to the extreme with some very sensitive topics. However, as long as you can stomach this sort of thing, I highly recommend this book. It's dark, tense, and not without some hope.

The Author

Andrew Joseph White: American, also wrote Hell Followed With Us, has an MFA in Creative Writing

The Reviewer

My name is Wonderose; I try to post a review every week, and I do themed recommendations every once in a while. I take suggestions! Check out my about me post for more!

[adamwatchesmovies]

Pixels (2015)

While I didn't enjoy this film, that doesn't mean you won't. No matter what I say, the people involved in this project did it: they actually made a movie. That's something to be applauded. With that established...

Based on the 2010 short of the same name by Patrick Jean, Pixels has some neat visuals… and nothing else to offer. Even video game and arcade enthusiasts won't like it, as the film is more concerned with giving Adam Sandler’s posse pay checks and indulging in nostalgia than utilizing the tools at its disposal to full effect.

As a child, Sam Brenner (Adam Sandler) became a champion of arcade games until he was defeated by his rival Eddie Plant (Peter Dinklage) in the world championship’s final round. Years later, Sam has a chance to make a name for himself when aliens misinterpret old video game footage as a declaration of war and attack our planet with arcade-inspired creations.

Kevin James as the President of the United States. Pixels is a sci-fi comedy but even so, our suspension of disbelief only goes so far! The man just doesn’t fit the role. For the most part, however, everyone else who appears in the film - Adam Sandler as himself, Josh Gad as the conspiracy-theory obsessed nerd who lives in his basement, Michelle Monaghan as a weapons developer who will inevitably fall for Sandler’s character even though they hate each other upon first sight - do fine with their parts. It’s the material they’ve been handed that spells "game over".

There are many unkind words we could use to describe Pixels. “Self-indulgent”, “unfunny”… but I’m going to choose is “lazy”. It’s a movie about arcade games which gets basic things about the games it’s showcasing wrong. Cheat codes for arcade games? Why would those exist when the machines were designed to eat quarters? A Smurfs arcade game? I couldn’t find evidence that one ever existed. Apparently the barrels and fireballs in Donkey Kong move without pattern… even though they do in real life. And that’s just scratching the surface. This film operates without any semblance of logic. In one battle between mankind and the aliens, the players must operate under rules which emulate the game - Pac Man being a good example. In other scenes, like when the heroes play a jumbo-sized version of Centipede, our “team” is allowed hundreds of players. When we get to the final challenge (Donkey Kong), anyone can do whatever they want regardless of whether it’s possible in the game they’re supposedly playing.

This is a significant disappointment from director Chris Columbus, whose career has had its ups and downs but doesn’t typically churn out this type of Happy Maddison slop. Every fifteen minutes, the film seems to be think that someone screaming is the pinnacle of hilarity. Over and over, a lame sex joke gets snuck in there and we get a speech from someone about how the good old days were awesome and how today, well things just aren’t the same. Many aspects of Pixels feel like they’ve been pulled from a time long gone that we'd rather forget. Most notably, the romantic sub plots, who are so awful you’re tempted to give the actresses standing ovations for playing their parts without cringing.

If you’ve seen the 2010 Pixels short, there’s no reason to see this full-length film. Adam Sandler’s usual comedic antics add nothing to the cool voxel look and the visual gags in its 2-minute running time isn't improved by cameos by Serena Williams or Nick Swardson. I suppose Happy Madison fans may find some of it enjoyable but that's just a theory. (May 10, 2019)

[callipraxia]

The closest I've ever come to just throwing something out there without editing it is probably with "The Great Cosmic Cartoon Chess Game," which I think was my first Gravity Falls essay and which I wrote in one or two sittings and then posted at like one in the morning one night...pretty sure it's the second-most engaged with post I've ever written, unless it actually surpassed both the Ford Essay and the first Hirsch interview analysis essay I wrote a couple of months ago - it would take a lot of tedious clicking to figure out exactly which one is the One Essay To Rule Them All and I only have four minutes left on my work break, so I probably will determine that for sure later, but it did very, very well and I was very, very surprised. However, even as someone who is normally kind of nitpicky about anything that's posted and isn't a personal complaint, I can attest that you really do have no idea how the audience is gonna take things. Exhibit A: those two times I wrote about Bill Cipher torturing someone.

I spent weeks working on the chapter of Interproximal Gradations where that happened, but it wasn't because I thought it was too far out of pocket in terms of what was portrayed. It was just because I was trying some structural stuff with the chapter overall that I had never tried before and I wanted/needed the writing to be extra-good to support it. As far as Bill being a nightmare went, I thought I was pretty well within the lines canon had established for the portrayal of such things, and indeed that I was a bit more restrained than canon. The audience...was of a different opinion. Apparently, it's the most horrifying thing I ever wrote, despite my multiple attempts to write about physics coming unraveled and a character literally melting and...wow, I write a lot of messed-up stuff, don't I? I now kinda want to protest that I'm not one of "those" writers, but I'm not entirely sure what writers I mean by that, so let's move on to the other time I wrote something on that general theme.

The other time took place in "The Player of Games," and it is the one and only time that I have ever made myself deeply, deeply uncomfortable with something I've written. Like...this one scene is no small part of the reason why I assumed at one point that I would never finish "Player" and why I hesitated to post it even once I realized that I was, for whatever reason, going to finish the thing. That scene was...bad. I put a trigger warning on it, despite being Old and therefore often not doing that as much as I probably should (for the longest time I just forgot, having been writing with and for the same five people and nobody else for twenty years at that point and it having not been as much of a thing when I was younger, but even now, I often wrestle with myself over whether what I wrote is really upsetting enough to spoil the contents of the chapter over, especially when the upsetting material is or is a direct result of a plot twist). And I meant for the scene to be horrifying, so horrified reactions were expected, but y'all know the Internet - I was afraid it would instead be interpreted as me being into something I actually find deeply disturbing, since I couldn't exactly underline "and that was bad and sick and wrong" explicitly in the text without lowering the overall quality of the text (like I said, I'm one of those pretentious people who takes my fanfics semi-seriously and tries to produce the best writing I can, within some vague semblance of reason). And then...pretty sure that only one person ever commented on the scene I'd been so squicked out by writing, and that person seemed to understand perfectly what I'd meant by it, so good thing I didn't abandon the project over it, I guess?

TL;DR, audiences are indeed often at least a little bit unpredictable no matter what approach you take, basically.

If posting fic online has taught me anything, it’s that I have no idea how the reader will react to anything. Nada. Zip. Zilch. Not the faintest clue.

Fics that I think I scribbled off just to get them out there get the kindest, most rapturous feedback. Fics I slaved over, agonized over, bled my soul into get a couple tepid replies. Fics I thought were me revealing the darkness and weird kink that lives in my brain, scared to even post it for fear of judgement, get, “Aaaw that’s so sweet!” replies. Baffling.

My conclusion? You just never know. You really just can’t know. When I did a workshop with 20 other writers I would try to guess what their critique of my story would be and I was right maybe 1 in 20 times. Only one other writer would have the same critique for my story that I had. And it wasn’t even always the same person.

The encouraging part about this is, if self recrimination, the fear that you know what people won’t like about your story, is holding you back, just say fuck it! You’re almost certainly wrong! All you can do is make it the best story you can for the energy you have. And yeah, sometimes that means scribbling it out in an evening and kicking it out to the void of the internet before you can change your mind or worry about editing it more than once because then you’ll never post it.

It’s all chaos, man. You don’t get to decide what the audience thinks. All you can do is create it and put it out there for them to decide.

[allthemusic]

Week ending: 1st August

Well, we're getting well into summer. The kids are off from school, the news cycle has slowed right down, and the weather's (hopefully) looking up. What better time for a thoroughly miserable ballad about going to the beach?

Love Letters in the Sand - Pat Boone (peaked at Number 2)

The title of this song sounds like it should invoke some sort of romantic, summery fun. It should be a lightweight bit of fluff about being in love on the beach. Unfortunately, that's not what we get - instead, we start slow and slightly bluesy, with Pat singing wistfully about a trip down to write love letters in the sand.

We get a sense early on that this relationship isn't going to work, as Pat reminisces: How you laughed when I cried each time I saw the tide / Take our love letters from the sand. So yeah. Pat's love is apparently on a different wavelength to him, emotionally speaking. Which is hardly a surprise, given how he's apparently just terminally lame. I mean, not to judge here, but what do you expect, Pat, when you write your love letters in sand? I get the whole metaphor you're going for, but also, it's very much on you if you're feeling sad that stuff you wrote in the sand washed away when the tide came in?

Predictably, the metaphor then takes over, and love letters in the sand become vows that are more metaphorically "washed away", as Pat laments about how You made a vow that you would ever be true / But somehow that vow meant nothing to you. His love was unfaithful, and now my broken heart aches / with every wave that breaks / Over love letters in the sand. Poor Pat.

I do enjoy the internal rhymes here, and I kind of enjoy the sand writing metaphor, as much as I mocked it a few paragraphs back. Compared to some of the poppier songwriting we've been seeing, it's a little more complex, a little more poetic. It's not out here winning any Pulitzers, but it's more interesting writing than some songs we've seen recently. Which is maybe not a surprise, since it's not a recent song, but a cover of a 1931 song, itself adapted, with permission, from a poem the songwriter saw in the New York Daily Mirror. Which really doesn't feel like the sort of things you ought to have in a newspaper, but what do I know about 1930s newspapers?

Anyway, the result is a song that's interesting, but also a bit of a downer. In this respect, I do think the jazzy rock and roll ballad vibe suits it well. I also like that Pat adds in a whistling section towards the end - it fits the song's energy excellently, and I'm always a sucker for whistling in songs. It's just... well, as good a fit as it is tonally, it does mean that the song's a bit of a drag. I get it, Pat. You're sad that your love was untrue, and now you're fixating on that trip you went on to the beach one time. But really, do you have to mope this much about it?

I should note for completeness that this song, like last week's Teddy Bear, originally debuted in a film, Bernardine. Unlike Loving You, which seems to have had at least the semblance of an interesting plot, Bernardine seems to just be about high schoolers inventing a perfect woman to fall in love with, and then one of them mistakenly falling in love with a woman that he thinks is this Bernardine. Not sure how this song plays into that narrative, especially seeing as how Pat doesn't even play the main character, but rather his friend, who doesn't even have an on-screen love interest - a decision that was apparently critiqued, even at the time. So yeah, this is Pat trying to be Elvis, and not entirely succeeding.

I didn't hate this song, but I'll not be going back to it much, I don't think. It's just a little bit too earnest, and it's got none of the goofy charm of Elvis' recent numbers. It has got whistling, though, and if you don't go into it expecting a fun summery pop banger, you'll probably find it fine. I'm also charmed by the idea of cinema-goers going to see Bernardine and just being given this random mopey-ass song.

Favourite song of the awkwardly-jammed-into-a-film bunch: Love Letters in the Sand

[ogradyfilm]

Recently Viewed - Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins (Ultimate Edition)

[NOTE: For the sake of clarity, this review will refer to relevant characters by the names established in Akira Toriyama’s original manga—because let’s be serious, nobody would willingly choose to call Son Goku “Monkey Boy.”]

I’ve spoken before about my fondness for bootlegs and “mockbusters.” From the various non-Disney straight-to-video Hercules cartoons to Zatoichi vs. Flying Guillotine, I simply cannot resist the allure of a rip-off of dubious artistic quality. One relatively obscure example of this phenomenon that’s been on my radar for quite some time is Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins, an unauthorized (and extremely low-budget) live-action adaptation of Akira Toriyama’s legendary manga series produced in Taiwan years before Hollywood’s Dragonball Evolution outraged anime fans across the globe. I never imagined that I’d actually encounter it in the wild, of course; in the past, it was rarely circulated outside of very niche conventions. In the era of streaming and digital distribution, however, it seems that no film stays unavailable for long…

So, what’s the verdict now that I’ve had the opportunity to see this notorious stinker for myself? Honestly… it’s not nearly as terrible as its dismal reputation would suggest. Make no mistake: it’s pretty bad… but its creative ambitions almost redeem its (admittedly significant) flaws. Indeed, its amateurish blemishes merely contribute to its inherent charm.

The movie earns points for being fairly faithful to the source material; with few exceptions, it adheres closely to the plot of the original comic—a variation on the traditional Hero’s Journey formula. This familiar structure—the call to adventure, gathering allies, receiving magical gifts, et cetera—serves the narrative well, evoking the audience’s fond memories of such classics as The Wizard of Oz and Star Wars. The infrequent deviations from the established canon are, in general, sensible and pragmatic. Grandpa Gohan, for example, is alive and well as our story begins; his (apparent) death, in fact, is precisely what motivates Goku to embark upon his quest to gather the Dragon Balls—a perfectly reasonable revision that raises the stakes of the central conflict considerably.

The film’s most glaring weakness is its abysmal pacing, which is paradoxically both relentlessly breakneck and slow as molasses. The entire first act is a rapidly edited sequence of action set pieces utterly devoid of any semblance of context. An interminable fifteen minutes of screen time somehow takes an eternity to pass in the blink of an eye—a thoroughly disorienting experience that literally gave me an anxiety attack. The climax arrives with equal abruptness: as our protagonists lament their inability to locate the seventh and final Dragon Ball, a minor supporting character suddenly reveals that he’s had it in his possession all along; then, with absolutely no buildup or fanfare, we immediately smash cut to the gang merrily assaulting the villain’s stronghold—an incomprehensible gap in continuity reminiscent of Grindhouse’s infamous “missing reel” gag.

Still, the movie’s small pleasures ultimately outweigh its superficial shortcomings. Featuring decent pyrotechnics, solid stunts, and genuinely impressive fight choreography (particularly during the duels between Goku and Yamcha), Dragon Ball: The Magic Begins is, if nothing else, an endearingly campy kung fu flick. While it’s far from a forgotten masterpiece, it nevertheless remains an entertaining enough diversion.