#and that is russell crowe in an outfit that shows off ALL HIS MUSCLES

[wildsaltair]

HOTTER THAN A METAL SLIDE IN JULY

but also. the degradation here. the absolute insult of this. the way Maximus was a general and a commander and the most respected honored soldier of Rome, a favorite of the emperor, a dedicated husband and father, a man to be admired and treasured

and now he's just a slave. a piece of flesh to these guards who have probably never seen real battle before.

this just KILLS ME I CAN'T TAKE IT

because like.... the way he walks into the room and casts a glance back like he can't believe the guard is actually shoving him when Maximus could so easily kill this guy if he wanted to

the way he just holds out his arm to be chained and doesn't fight back because he's so broken and betrayed

the way he looks down as the guard walks away because this is so wrong, it's so wrong for him to be in this situation

and the ANGER when he sees Lucilla, whom he thinks is complicit in all this, and the way this is what makes him yank at those chains and lunge at her

but how he's held back by the chains which only adds to his frustration and helplessness and despair

so he just grits his teeth and turns because he can't even look at her after all this, he's fallen so far and become so unrecognizable even to himself, and he doesn't want her to see him like this and he doesn't want to see her at all

and his whole tone in this scene is one of agonized frustration and rage and helplessness. he's so strong and unstoppable and ruthless but HE. CAN'T. DO. ANYTHING.

it tears me up thank you Ridley and Russell I am thankful for this absolute feast of angst and fodder for analysis

OKAY BACK TO OUR REGULARLY SCHEDULED THIRSTING

Russell Crowe in the Gladiator

Rich matrons pay well to be pleasured by the bravest champions

[introvertguide]

Fight for My Entertainment

Over human history, people have found entertainment in a lot of different things. Tastes have changed over time but love of music has been present since the rise of man. Games of athletic prowess have provided drama and amazement for centuries. Even dancing has been a great source of entertainment to the population in some form throughout recorded history. One other thing that seems to keep an audience’s attention is the good old fight to the death. Although there are extreme fighting sports that are popular today, actual murder is severely frowned upon to say the least. Movie audiences still like to see portrayals of the fight to the death and there have been many movies, both good and bad, that satisfy this blood lust. I just wanted to go over some of my personal favorites (and some that really suck):

Ben-Hur (1959) is one of my least favorite movies, but I got to give respect to that chariot battle. I have been to Rome and seen the Circus Maximus field where the movie was filmed and where actual chariot races once took place. The horses and the outfits were great but the real interest to the audience in ancient Rome was the real chance of horrific trampling death with every turn of the race. Visually amazing with dramatic appeal. If this movie was only this, it would be a masterpiece, but there is almost 3 hours of boredom attached around it that really didn’t interest me. Great scene, though.

Spartacus (1960), on the other hand, is one of my favorite movies. It is another epic film and lasts a little bit long, but there are many huge battle scenes with thousands of extras and great one on one gladiator battles. Kirk Douglas is amazing as a gladiator turned general who took on the Roman army. There are a lot of one-on-one fights in this film and, despite the age of the film, still seem pretty realistic. This film is the reverse of Ben-Hur for me, having only 15 minutes of boring material surrounded by great scenes. Fantastic movie.

Edit Note: After rewatching, there are a lot less gladiator fights than I remember. In fact, I only now remember two, maybe three. There is also a lot more preparation for battle than actual battle. The best fighting part is likely when the gladiators first attempt to escape. This movie focuses much more on the repercussions on forcing people to fight instead of actually showing the fights. 

Enter the Dragon (1973) has to be mentioned because it has freaking Bruce Lee. A martial arts phenomenon that passed away far too early, Bruce Lee fights in a tournament to have a chance for revenge. Unlike many fights in which the action was sped up, he is rumored to have been told to slow down so that the camera operators could keep up. This doesn’t have massive crowds but there are still fights to the death for the entertainment of others. I do want to mention that this film is kind of racist and is exploitative along the lines of stereotypes, but the skill is so amazing that I think it rises above the B movie genre and is one of my absolute favorite movies. 

The Running Man (1987) is a movie that is absolutely amazing but not what I would call good. The script is weak, the dialogue is corny, and the acting is laughable. However, it does have Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jesse Ventura in the same movie. I mean, c’mon. A bunch of guys who are serving prison terms are put in a maze with professional killers that have weapons like chainsaws, fire suits, and electric projectiles. And this is all for the pleasure of a TV audience. Very much the modern day Colosseum scenario and a lot of fun to watch. 

Bloodsport (1988) is not a good movie but it is the reason that Jean Claude Van Damme is a household name. The “Muscles from Brussels” really shows off his high kicking skill in a tournament that features more than one fatality in the ring. Look at how much air that guy is getting...the athleticism can’t be denied. The film has a pretty strong cult following and it is another “fun” movie to watch because it does show a lot of very interesting matchups. By the way, the murderous villain in both Enter the Dragon and Bloodsport is played by the same Hong Kong martial artist turned bodybuilder, Mr. Bolo Yeung. A great fighting filming needs both a great hero and a powerful villain and this movie does have both of those things...but that is about it. 

Mortal Kombat (1995) is based on the video game of the same name and boasts supernatural fighters that end their bouts with gory fatalities. It totally delivers exactly that. There are no promises of nice sets, interesting back stories, or special effects and that is good because that doesn’t happen. The one-liners are cheesy, the martial arts are very good, and the soundtrack bumps throughout the entire film. Good enough for me. 

Gladiator (2000) “We who are about to die salute you!” I guess that you can’t have a list of gladiator movies with putting in this one. Russell Crowe plays a disgraced Roman soldier named Maximus who loses his family and is thrown into the ring to die. He works his way through to eventually take on a Roman leader and the whole thing is epic. There are a lot of battles in the Colosseum and they are all glorious. As far as realism and quantity of fights, I think this might be the best. Directed by Ridley Scott, it really takes the viewer and thrusts them into ancient Rome. “Are you not entertained?”

Battle Royale (2000) is the film that so many people cough under their breath when somebody brings up the Hunger Games. This film features a class of children that tormented their teacher so they were all shipped by bus to an island to kill each other until only one person is left. Warning, there is a whole lot of murder and suicide with sharp objects involving children. Each kid also has a choker that blows out their throat if they stop moving. Far and away more gory than its American counterpart, this film does not hold back nor are the contestants prepared for their predicament in any way. Very interesting but really makes the viewer feel that this kind of competition is wrong. Not a “fun” watch. 

Ong Bak: The Thai Warrior (2003) is a fantastic martial arts movie starring the great Tony Jaa as a fighter who partakes in underground street fights in an attempt to find the head of his village’s sacred statue. He takes on some crazy opponents who are much bigger than him, but he is one of the most high flying fighters I have ever seen. His flying knee attacks are just phenomenal. When this guy fights, I am entertained and I am not afraid to admit it. 

The Hunger Games (2012) is the story of youths in a dystopian future who fight to the death representing their district. This is all for the pleasure of the super rich who watch and give help to those players that they like. I think that the premise is so interesting but the heavy helping of teen angst amongst the child death seems weird. The desperation for companionship in the face of death was so much better in Battle Royale, but I still enjoyed this movie. The build up took too long for me, but the last half of the movie is gladiator arena glory. 

Thor: Ragnarok (2017) is a movie that I just thought of last minute but it does have a planet where warriors fight in an arena for the entertainment of Jeff Goldblum. There is a battle between Thor and the Hulk and that is all I really needed to know to be interested. Apparently this fight is amazing to everyone, even aliens on a trash planet. You know that audiences have a taste for carnage when they want to see two superheroes battle.

This list is by no means anywhere near complete so feel free to add on any other great gladiator films. These are just examples of how movie audiences seem to have a little bit of a blood lust and shows our tastes in entertainment have not changed as much as we might think since the days of the Roman Colosseum. I am not immune, but I am glad that my desire to see fighting can be quenched by acting without the need to see somebody actually die.