#and taking that next step is terrifying. but theyre so afraid of the other not reciprocating and the friendship dying bc of it

[hananono]

every time somebody reduces the serirei dynamic to "silly one x serious one" an angel loses its wings

[whump-mania]

Alright, here's my idea.

A whumper couple "fighting" over their whumpee, both of them wanting to torment them in their own ways (one can be a brute force trauma type whumper and the other can be a more creepy mind games whumper, i like that pairing) and Whumpee cant figure out if they're glad that they're being "saved" from the other or if they're more terrified that they're being fought over since the whumpers are getting increasingly violent and theyre afraid one might kill the other to keep them forever, and if that happens than it'll be a nightmare either way cause both whumpers are awful

(Thanks for the request!

TWs for cursing, fade to black beating/torture, mentioned drugging, creepy whumper (sfw))

“You’re putting too much thought into it. Just beat them,” Whumper 1 complained in an annoyed tone.

Whumper 2 circled Whumpee’s unconscious form like they were prey, thinking of all the ways they could make their life miserable. Many of the ways didn’t even involve touching Whumpee at all.

“You’re never any fun,” Whumper 2 chided. “You’re not considering how satisfying it is to play into fear,” they said cooly.

“We’re not here to play,” Whumper 1 said gruffly. “We’re here to retrieve information.” They pushed past Whumper 2 and kicked Whumpee in the chest, rudely waking them up. Whumpee coughed and groaned at the force of the kick. They were still a bit weak from what they’d been drugged with.

Whumper 1 stepped forward again to continue the assault, but Whumper 2 stopped them. “No no—let them wake up all the way. We want them to experience all of this.”

Whumper 1 rolled their eyes in frustration and turned around to look for something to hit Whumpee with in the meantime. While they were gone to the other side of the room, Whumper 2 smirked and knelt down next to Whumpee.

“We can make this so bad for you,” they whispered, taking a fistful of Whumpee’s hair and pulling. “You’ll be telling us what we need to know very soon. And after that, you’ll be begging us for death.” Whumper 2 leaned in closer so that their lips brushed Whumpee’s ear. “And we won’t give it to you.”

Suddenly, Whumper 2 was pulled away by the collar of their shirt and up to face Whumper 1, who glared at them dangerously. “That’s enough. You’re wasting time. Use your fists, not your head.”

Whumper 2 looked back at Whumper 1 smugly with no fear. “You don’t want to get in my way, friend.” They pulled a small pocket knife just barely out of their pocket, flashing it. “I can dish it out just as well as you can. I just prefer not to.”

“Is that a threat?” Whumper 1 growled, pulling Whumper 2 closer. The two were in a standoff.

Whumpee, who was just waking up still, managed to push themselves away a little bit. They were honestly relieved that the two were fighting—it took the attention off of them. Meanwhile, they couldn’t imagine being left alone with one of them. They balanced each other out. Whumper 1 could kill them just with their fists if they were alone with them too long, and Whumper 2 would make them wish they were dead with the psychological torment. They didn’t know which they hated most.

Slowly, they scooted themself to the corner to get away from the two as silently as possible. Upon doing this, Whumper 1 turned their head and dropped Whumper 2. “The fuck you think you’re doing?”

Whumpee whimpered and pressed themselves against the wall. They should’ve just stayed where they were.

“Listen…I think we should compromise here,” Whumper 2 said with a grin. “You do what you’re good at, and I’ll do what I’m good at. It’ll be so much for the poor thing. They’ll have to confess what we need eventually.”

Whumper 1 crossed their arms, thinking on it for a moment. “…Fine. But you don’t get to touch them. I want all their bruises to be mine.”

Whumpee shrunk in terror as both tormentors approached them.

[itgomyway]

I've been into Non-Dualism for a while now, though not extensively. Previously, I was deeply involved in the Law of Assumption community. Then, I stumbled upon ND. It felt like a breath of fresh air, so liberating. I've consumed all sorts of ND content, from every nook and cranny of the internet. It's been a bit of a rollercoaster, this journey of slowly "detaching from ego".

Recently, something happened that sent me on a over-consumption, while trying to convince myself that "hey, it's okay". Honestly, I'm tired of reading without a clear sense of what steps to take. I've tried all sorts of techniques to loosen the grip of ego, but my mind keeps circling back to these issues, almost like they're haunting me. I get it, it's ego at play, but the anxiety attacks still hit hard.

I hope I'm not coming across as too demanding, I'm just genuinely seeking guidance in the best way possible. What more can I do?

There's so much conflicting advice out there. Some say understanding isn't crucial, it's just the ego making a fuss. Others suggest a slow process of self-inquiry, questioning what the ego is asserting and coming back to our core. It's left me feeling a bit bewildered and frankly, drained. I'm at a loss, just wanting a reset that brings some peace.

I get that Non-Dualism is supposed to be about simplicity and shouldn't bring about these feelings. But right now, I feel like I've got a full plate. My mom's financial situation hasn't been great, and I'm really anxious about her having to bear too much of a burden. Letting go of the desire to change my current circumstances is terrifying. What if letting go only means things stay the same or get worse? The pressure to make a change feels like it's closing in.

When people say "let it be" or advise to step back from actively trying to fix things, I'm left scratching my head. How do you navigate challenges by just letting them be? I feel defeated and just want to feel free. I'm scared about what the end of the week, or worse, the end of the month, might look like if I'm still stuck in this uncertainty. I've got a decent grasp of these concepts on an intellectual level, but when the day passes and I whisper "I AM" to myself, I struggle to truly feel it. It's like I'm held back by the limitations of this physical form.

I'm on the edge of giving up on chasing after achievements. Ego sometimes feels like this looming, scary presence. What I really want is to shed all of this weight, be kinder to myself, and find a path that leads to genuine freedom. What's the next step? What should I do? I want to stop trying, or figuring out.

Thanks a ton for taking the time to read this through. I've been following your blog and I really appreciate the kindness you bring to your community. Wishing you a great day ahead.

love im afraid in all of that reading, you missed the entire point. the point of non dualism is to free you from the human condition. you dont use non dualism to navigate the human condition it doesnt exist in the first place.

remember everything is you. you are consciousness. everything else is fake and its only the ego that deems it as real.

ignore it. its not real. who cares?

that’s how i live “life”. i dont confirm nor deny anything real or fake whenever circumstances arise cuz its ALL FAKE. the only existing thing is me. even when i think about “me” its not even “me” doing it. its the ego. the ego answers the question of who you are while you as CONSCIOUSNESS know what you are. the ego cant really grasp this so i don’t see a reason in trying to make it

i picture it as inner child = ego “grown up” = consciousness. the inner child is scared and confused. just wants to be safe and do any and everything to be safe, even if they think they know what theyre doing or that theyre in control. its not. its fake. be the adult in the situation and take control. understanding the ego is probably throwing a temper tantrum so let it cry itself to sleep. everything they thought that was soooo important they’ll forget when they wake up. so its not real anyway. you can relax you got this <3

[john-my-dearly-beloved]

JOHN AND BLYKE JOHN AND BLYKE JOHN AND BLYKE

[illusionlockarchive]

romeos huge rant on comedy, horror, and how they interlap

ok, so. full disclosure, what got me to make this post was this joke post right here.

so the initial premise is funny, haha okay. yeah. oh youre a kid and your punishment at school is that you have to stay at a room full of wasps. its funny because its absurd. it couldnt happen irl. youd think it wouldnt happen irl. youd hope so.

the thing about comedy and horror though? is that they actually operate on very similar concepts.

and that is, the absurd. the uncanny valley. what youre expecting the least. what youre not seeing and not registering. jumpscares are effective if at least to get you to jump, even if they are cheap. meanwhile, jokes where they completely twist your expectations to get you to laugh do the same thing.

it may be hard for you to believe me, but in the end, the bad ending of tattletail is the other side of the same coin as a joke that goes��“i swallowed a tablet with some water. everyone on the apple store was terrified of me.”

i have not read the wasp story, but i can guaranteee you, i CAN imagine it being scary, if the right tones are used and suspense is built up nicely. with the right twists and turns, knowing when to keep things quiet and when to blow things out of proportion.

OR it can end up being unintentionally hilarious, if the characters in it are way too cliche to be real and feel more like caricatures of teachers and students, if things are rushed and details lose their meaning and value, if we are just to focus on being an audience watching a kid get chased around by a swarm of wasps, instead of putting ourselves in their place.

im neglecting to mention something though. horror is not the TRUE other side of the coin to comedy. no, thats tragedy. and im sure many more people have heard of that. the two masks used in theater, one happy, the other sad.

and now we come to two very interesting modifiers. im sure youve heard of the term ‘horror comedy’ to refer to a subgenre of horror that does have jokes and silly things still happening, and may not take itself all that seriously. but why is it a specified subgenre? because MOST horror is tragedy.

this is why, despite liking many horror games or even stories, in the end i still dont consider myself someone who actually likes horror as a general genre. most horror focuses on the seriousness of the faults of humans, on our fragility, on all we can lose or are even bound to lose, on the fear that what we feel so confident about having close to us can be snatched away in a second, that our sense of reality can crumble. most horror? doesnt end well.

comedies in general tend to focus on the absurdity of life, on how many silly, strange, or even uncanny situations can happen that can challenge us, but not in a harsh way, but in a way that, despite so many bad things happening, we still get to point and laugh it off and be okay at the end of the day.

literally, all it takes for a tragedy to become a comedy, and vice versa, is a tonal shift. when i told of my idea to create this post to my boyfriend, he backed me up, and told me “the difference between horror and comedy is in the soundtrack and silly sound effects”. hes right.

of course, there are things that you should have the decency to not laugh at, still. to keep your mouth shut and know when to reject. but good comedy knows how to stray away from that, and good tragedy knows how to handle it respectfully without making it torture porn.

so, as horror hinges on tragedy, on the fear that we all know we must face in our lives, because a scream is as natural as laughter, so horror comedies are born as an interesting paradox.

a year or so ago, i got the opportunity to watch the banana splits syfy movie. i was a huge fan of the banana splits as a kid, and would often watch their reruns. those silly furries meant a lot to me. but im not stupid, i know thats a horror movie, i went in kinda knowing what to expect.

it was a gore fest, and for about two or three nights i had trouble getting to sleep. i wasnt actually scared of my childhood friends in animal costumes, as i knew how absurd and irrational my fear was, but just the images of the massacre being fresh in my mind were enough to send me into a panic if i lingered for too long, which can happen, you know, when youre about to sleep.

(TW FOR DESCRIPTION OF A MANS DEATH AND GORE, IF YOURE SQUEAMISH JUMP TO NEXT PARAGRAPH)

i think a scene that perfectly blurs the lines between comedy and tragedy, as well as just plain horror in it, is the scene where a man gets killed by being put in a magicians box and sliced in half as a ‘magic trick’ by fleegle, the dog. as he pleads for his life, and his soon to be wife watches in horror and pleads for the robot dog to stop (yeah theyre robots in this, weird), fleegle continues to slice him in half and blood spurts out, until he is dead, and fleegle just happily and proudly showcases what he has done, as if he just did a real magic trick.

(END TW FOR DEATH AND GORE DESCRIPTION)

watching that was horrifying, of course it was. but at the same time, it was what i wanted and expected when i thought about “banana splits horror movie”. fleegle just did something completely absurd and entirely uncalled for. and what doubles the uncaniness of it is that it was supposed to be something harmless, a magic trick. think about this if it was in an adult swim cartoon. the same thing could still happen, but be treated as just a weird, gross joke. fleegle could even swear, say ‘heres your fucking magic trick damnit! oh you dont like it, well i quit!’ n then throw his hat on the ground and step on it.

they are essentially the same scene, but the cartoon version of it is presented in a way that shows full on just how absurd and unexpected it is, without any seriousness to it, probably without any moody music to accompany it. meanwhile the movie one focuses on the fear, grief, and horror of putting us in the shoes of a woman who just watched the man she loved be killed, with the shots being extra impactful.

in the end, the banana splits syfy movie is a horror comedy though, because most of the movie is spent finding the most creative, absurd, borderline funny ways for people to be killed off. as you watch it along, you dont know whether to laugh at the weirdness and absurdity of the events or to genuinely feel grief and fear over the bodies piling up.

i could also just go over a million other examples available to me right now. in fact, as of the time im writing this, i have the latest vinesauce corruption stream pulled on youtube. during corruptions, the most bizarre and absurd things happen, and often times, things get scary. we see the video game characters we love be deformed and twisted in ways that you can only imagine hurt, but they still act as if thats normal! so you cant help but laugh.

earlier today, i watched a gameplay video of bonbon. its a short horror game, with a very... different antagonist. i wont spoil much, because, i dont want to deter people from buying it. but i will say, there is a reveal at the end, which slaps you in the face with the realization that you have been played for a fool all along, and the developers would probably laughing at you if they saw you after youve beat the game. its a joke, and the fear that they cultivated so lovingly, is the punchline. your fear becomes a punchline. to me thats one of the highest forms of blurring horror and comedy, and one i prefer to some more gory and harsh attempts.

and i mean, i have to mention fnaf here, dont i? its a great example too, particularly because, if you look at the games by themselves, they generally take themselves pretty seriously as horror stories, minus a few odd cases or references. but they just have enough wiggle room that, if you look at them from afar, as an audience, you can take these characters youre supposed to be afraid of, and have fun with them, because it is pretty damn absurd, and even funny at the end of the day, that youre expected to be afraid of essentially big, robotic childrens toys. and thats when many fun, fan renditions that focus on lighthearted situations pop up. vanny herself is pretty funny even! the idea of a person who dresses up in a full fursuit to do crimes is pretty hilarious.

all in all, i think i just really appreciate how horror and comedy can converse with each other and how that says something about how we, as humans, are easily made impressed, made to be surprised and shocked, to jump or to laugh. and we are always looking for that thrill, it just depends on if youre looking for laughs or screams.

so yeah, maybe ‘wasp room’ can be a pretty good story. is it a horror story or a comedy? we wont know until we read it. (also if you made it to the end reading this holy shit i love you , i fully recognize i talked way too much)

[irwen-s]

wendy falls trying to grab something and the pain of landing on her wrist throws her into regression which none of the girls had ever had any experience with and don’t know what to do

i rolled a four sided dice (on google wheeze) and got joy so here we go

there are many dangers when it comes to baking, seungwan knows. even so, she never could have anticipated this one.

its on one of their rest days between promotions when she finally gets around to having the time to bake cookies for everyone, and seungwan is elated. shes in the kitchen, bustling around gathering all the tools and ingredients she’ll need, opening and closing kitchen cabinets and drawers.

its then that she remembers having left the bag of chocolate chips in one of the upper cabinets, out of easy reach just to discourage any of the members from trying to eat them before she can even use them.

and so seungwan drags one of the stools up to the counter, then carefully steps onto it. its with a grin that she opens the cabinet to see the bag of chocolates, untouched and unopened.

when she shuffles a bit closer to grab for it, her foot misses the surface of the stool.

and then seungwan slips off with a cry of surprise.

yerim is the closest to the kitchen when from it comes a yelp followed by a crash. shes up and out of her seat, stumbling toward the kitchen where the sound of wailing breaks out, and the sight that greets her when she enters makes her eyes widen in alarm. “unnie!”

seungwan is lying on the ground, awkwardly twisted on her side, face contorted in pain and messy with tears, crying loudly.

yerim drops to her knees just as seulgi, joohyun, and sooyoung barge in behind her. she isnt sure what to do, hands hovering hesitantly over seungwans fallen form, afraid to touch her where she might be injured. the way shes sobbing so uncontrollably makes it all the more nerve-wracking.

“her arm,” joohyun speaks up quickly, dropping to her knees beside yerim. seungwans cries are shrill, terrifying in a way theyve never heard her sound before. “seungwan-ah, we’re going to sit you up, can you breathe for me?”

its like seungwan cant hear her. sooyoung moves around to seungwans other side as joohyun continues to murmur gentle encouragements, and her arm slides around seungwans back in support as yerim and joohyun carefully pull her upright. shes choking on her sobs now, tears sliding down flushed cheeks as shes propped up against sooyoungs chest, shuddering cries wracking her small frame.

“its her wrist. she hurt her wrist,” yerim immediately points out, and their eyes collectively fall to seungwans hand. the skin is bruised, dark and discolored.

“unnie, youre okay, youre okay, can you take deep breaths with me?” sooyoung soothes, smoothing back seungwans hair as joohyun tells seulgi to get an ice pack, her lips brushing seungwans ear. seungwan only chokes on another pained cry, shaking her head frantically.

sooyoung quickly slides herself to sit down properly before carefully guiding seungwan into her lap, cradled against her chest. seungwan immediately turns her face into her neck, trembling in her arms, her uninjured hand desperately clutching onto sooyoungs shirt.

shes hiccuping through strained cries, likely from tiring her voice, and sooyoung rubs soothing circles against her back as she presses her lips to seungwans temple, murmuring softy. “im right here, unnie, youre okay. just breathe for me.”

“n-not unnie,” seungwan sobs in a shaky voice. she lifts her hand up, as if to wipe her face, then whimpers at the movement. yerim quickly guides her hand away and into her lap, fingers coiled gently around her forearm.

“wan-ah,” sooyoung says then, switching immediately, her fingers carding through seungwans hair. seungwan sniffles against the crook of her neck, the tears staining her cheeks wetting sooyoungs skin as she cries quietly. “wan-ah, youre okay, sooyoungie’s here.”

seulgi returns then with an ice pack wrapped in a small towel, and she kneels next to yerim before carefully pressing it against seungwans wrist. “youre okay, its just a little bruise, wannie.” she tries to smile reassuringly, but seungwan jerks at the touch of the ice pack.

“c-cold,” she hiccups tearfully as she attempts to pull her arm away.

“yerim-ah,” joohyun quickly says, but yerim is already tightening her grip around seungwans arm, murmuring “i got her” as she gently but firmly keeps it anchored in her lap. seulgi moves the ice pack back against her wrist with a soft “sorry, wannie.”

sooyoung holds seungwan securely against her as she begins to squirm and cry louder. “wan-ah, the ice will help it hurt less, its okay,” she tries to explain, rocking her to calm her down. “its all right. youre okay, wannie.”

“mama,” seungwan cries in a small, wobbly voice, and all of them freeze. they watch as seungwan shakes her head back and forth against sooyoung, sobbing weakly into her neck. “mama, h-hurts.”

“her mom?” seulgi whispers in confusion as joohyun furrows her eyebrows. sooyoung cradles the back of seungwans head, keeping her tucked close against her chest, exchanging worried and puzzled glances with the others.

yerim has been watching seungwan closely, and she speaks up then. “no, i think she means you, sooyoung-unnie,” she says slowly. seulgi and joohyun look at yerim in surprise as sooyoungs eyes widen.

“me?” sooyoung asks hesitantly.

“its a hunch,” yerim admits, but her eyes are still trained on seungwans trembling form, the way she looks too fragile and vulnerable. hiding her face in sooyoungs neck, hiccuping unsteadily. “shes only been responding to you.”

sooyoungs lips part in surprise, realization dawning on her. “wannie,” she says tentatively against seungwans ear, keeping her voice low and soothing. “can you look at—at mama, for me?”

theres a shaky, nervous sniffle, but then they watch as seungwan slowly moves her head away from sooyoungs neck. puffy, watery eyes look up at her, and sooyoungs heart wrenches at the sight of cheeks flushed and shiny with tears, at the way her lip wobbles.

“oh, baby,” sooyoung whispers in a heartbroken voice, and her hands cradle seungwans face, thumbs brushing against her cheeks as seungwan whimpers in her lap, fresh tears slipping from the corner of her eyes. “im so sorry, wannie. mama’s—mama’s here.”

“hurts,” seungwan hiccups again, squirming to clutch onto sooyoung. yerims fingers wrapped around her injured hand stop her from fully doing so, so sooyoung quickly shifts closer to pull seungwan back against herself, tucked close.

“i know, baby, i know,” she whispers soothingly, letting seungwan press her face back against her neck. she runs her fingers through seungwans hair, feeling her her breathing begin to calm.

“im going to get tissues,” joohyun murmurs quietly, rising from her knees. she looks down at them, gaze moving to rest over seungwan last, heavy with concern. “sooyoung-ah, can you carry her to the couch?”

sooyoung nods. “yes, unnie.”

joohyun turns to yerim and seulgi then. “go with her, make sure wan doesnt move her wrist too much,” she directs, and they both nod in acknowledgement.

they all get to their feet then. sooyoung is the last to stand, careful and slow so as to not jostle seungwan cradled in her arms, who only lets out a small whimper into her shoulder.

“ive got you, baby, mama’s here. we’re just going to the couch, okay?” sooyoung reassures. yerim holds onto seungwans forearm, and after nodding at sooyoung, they both begin to move to the living room, seulgi trailing behind them. joohyun disappears into the hallway.

sooyoung sits down on the couch with seungwan settled in her lap, yerim seated next to them. seulgi hands her the ice pack, which yerim presses against the bruised skin of seungwans wrist. the touch startles seungwan, who lets out a small cry.

sooyoung shushes her quickly, pressing a gentle kiss to the top of seungwans head. “its okay, baby, its just ice. youre okay. mama has you.”

a hand holds out a tissue from behind her, which sooyoung accepts gratefully.

“thank you, unnie,” she whispers, and joohyun nods, settling the box down next to where shes seated. she gestures for yerim to move away so she can take her place as sooyoung gently coaxes seungwans face away from her neck again, dabbing at her tear-stained cheeks with the tissue. seungwans hiccups, leaning feebly into her touch.

theyre all quiet now, watching as sooyoung lets seungwan curl against her after drying her tears, rubbing her back in slow, calming circles and murmuring soothingly into her ear. an occasional sniffle comes from seungwan, but shes no longer trembling, and her cries have quieted.

gradually, sooyoung feels seungwans breathing begin to even out, exhales soft as small puffs of air tingle the skin of her neck.

“shes asleep,” sooyoung mouths to the others. joohyun nods, and relief seems to flood into the room, relaxing all of them as seulgi slumps back into the couch and yerim lets out a sigh of relief.

“lets let her rest,” joohyun says quietly, loosening her grip around seungwans forearm. when no one moves from their seats, the corner of her lips tug up in slight amusement. theyre all too worried to go anywhere else.

“do we know whats going on with wannie?” seulgi tentatively whispers.

its silent for a minute, everyones gazes falling back to seungwan.

“we’ll ask her when she wakes up,” joohyun says finally, after a long moment.

sooyoung wraps her arms around seungwan a little tighter.

—

its a few hours later when seungwan wakes up groggily to soft murmurs and the hum of the stove from the kitchen. she yawns, slowly cracking open her eyes, then comes face to face with sooyoung, whos watching her carefully.

“sooyoungie?” she mumbles sleepily.

“unnie,” sooyoung says, gauging, and seungwan furrows her eyebrows, realizing shes curled up in sooyoungs lap and starting to wonder why, before her hazy memory begins to remember what happened as she sees sooyoung holding the ice pack to her wrist.

“oh—oh my god, shit!” seungwan yells in surprise, stuttering and jerking and almost falling off the couch. she scrambles to get out of sooyoungs lap, apologizing profusely as her eyes water and her vision blurs.

its hard for her to breathe, she feels herself trembling as she gasps frantically, chest suddenly too tight. distantly, she hears sooyoung murmuring something as the commotion from the kitchen cuts off abruptly.

seungwan starts to cry, her brain fuzzy, feeling herself slipping again because shes still sleepy and tired and feels so bad.

“its age regression,” sooyoung finally bursts out, holding seungwan against her as she hyperventilates in her arms. “you regress to a younger age, i know, i searched it up. wan-ah, its okay. its okay.”

seungwan is still apologizing through shaky, frantic gasps, tears sliding down her face, but sooyoung pulls her close and shushes her, now brave enough and more understanding.

“deep breaths, wan-ah, just breathe,” sooyoung whispers, and eventually she feels seungwan slowly relax against her, slumping weakly against her chest, taking shuddering breaths, slowly returning to herself. sooyoung kisses her temple, rubbing her back.

“i-im so sorry,” seungwan apologizes hoarsely again after a moment.

“theres nothing to apologize for,” sooyoung says firmly, shaking her head. her heart aches with so much love, so much adoration, its almost overwhelming. “i’m so happy you trust me enough—trust me to be your mama.”

seungwan sniffles against her. “t-thank you, sooyoungie,” she whispers tiredly, closing her eyes, and sooyoung presses a soft, soothing smile against her hair.

[lowkey-gt]

“please don’t be afraid of me i can’t bear to be abandoned again”

—

some g/t chat noir/ladybug ramblings i needed to get out of my system APPARENTLY

tags: growth, anxious big, bit of fearplay, marichat

—

fighting an akuma

Chat gets HIT with a beam or ray attack but as he’s knocked back by it he detransforms?? identity’s safe cause him and ladybug were knocked back into another room from the blast and it’s just them in there

now-adrien comments on feeling VERY weird before detransforming as ladybug has her back to him and is like “JUST GET OUT OF HERE CHAT it’s okay I’ve got this” and shrugs off his concerns and says whatever happened to him will be fixed with Miraculous Ladybug anyway

Adrien attempts flirting but is basically kicked out of there so ladybug can finish the job

———

next time Adrien transforms, he’s found the akuma-of-the-day first and has jumped to the rescue of some citizens, inside a building

The weird feeling returns as soon as he transforms but he ignores it and shields the citizens and then turns around to check on them

sudden realisation they’re smaller than they should be

Chat diffuses the tension the way he does best, by making sharp quips and laughing it off

But then suddenly he hazes out, and only snaps back to when his head hits the ceiling

a citizen screams

It’s not funny anymore

—

Ladybug was on her way when she catches the news on the billboard plasmas

A building is being destroyed from the inside out. She can hear it cracking from here

Frightened citizens are interviewed in snippets, babbling about chat noir and that something's wrong with him and he’s the danger not the akuma

Ladybug pales. She told her partner he’d be alright. Her last words to him were words of beration

Ladybug reaches the building as it half collapses, but there is a sudden flash before the rubble falls. Ladybug thinks it’s familiar; it’s the flash of a detransformation. If Chat was in there, he’s not now.

———

Ladybug is missing her partner all week. More guilt piles in her gut. What happened to him. Will her last words to him really be “Stop worrying Chat, now get lost!”

To top it off Adrien seems extremely on edge and distant, as if she needed more to worry about

———

Marinette is out by the forest’s edge** when the newest akuma appears. It’s singled her out. She can’t break its line of sight, she can’t transform like this

(**I KNOW THEYRE IN THE MIDDLE OF PARIS BUT THERE NEEDED TO BE TREES & COVER)

The akuma now has her cornered; marinette is almost ready to transform in front of them as they raise their weapon up at her

Suddenly his voice rings out. “TRANSFORMEZ-MOI!”

“Chat!” He’s blocked the attack. He’s standing in front of her, baton drawn, teeth gritted. Marinette gapes at him from behind; she’s never seen his shoulders so tense

The akuma taunts him with a sharp laugh, but then chat has grabbed her and leapt back into the trees as the akuma launches attacks after them

They slip and fall down a sheer hill; chat wraps himself around her and takes all of the scrapes and knocks

———

“Where have you been??” Marinette gets out as they steady themselves at the bottom of the hill. “I’ve been- uh- all of Paris has been so worried!”

She stops when she sees his face. She’s never seen Chat look scared like this

“Marinette- I can’t- I’m sorry- please don’t run-” his body is trembling

He’s holding her shoulders. She’s about to ask what’s wrong. Then suddenly his hands are holding almost all the way around her

She jerks as he whispers to her, frantic reassurances, and within seconds she has to crane her head back to still see him, and he shifts down onto his knees to try and make himself smaller for her but he continues stretching up and looming bigger and bigger

His shadow completely casts over her. his head reaches the treeline and he crouches even more. his whispering stops for a moment and is replaced with a groan, and it rumbles so loud that marinette can feel it through the ground under her feet. His hands are almost as tall as her

She’s stepping back now as his head fills all her vision, and it seems to slow, maybe stop, but there’s so much of him now how can she even tell at this point

His head is down. his hands are still cupped loosely around her. he’s breathing deeply, every inhale & exhale sending shivers through the earth and, through her

Then trembling, his head rises, and his eyes blink open, terrifyingly huge. She can’t help it. She runs.

———

She thinks he says “no!” but all she really hears is how loud the voice is

She can see the hands shift to close around her and she scrambles faster. This is too much

She’s not fast enough. The hands block her route;

There’s more urgent whispering from behind her, “marinette please don’t go” “I can’t let anyone find out” “i promise I won’t hurt you” but the presence is overwhelming and she yelps and quails from him

The whispers stop, the hands are shaking; but then they pull back and the path is clear. She hesitates.

Then runs again.

———

woof that last section got detailed. ANYWAY

Marinette runs away chat noir is extremely distraught, but then

Other parisians have heard the akuma & commotion and marinette can hear them approaching where chat noir is hunkered down

She manages to snag their attention and misdirects them away

After they leave marinette GETS HER BEARINGS and is like (oh my god you actually just ran away from him. first you tell him to go away and feel awful about it but then next time you see him and he needs your help YOU JUST LEAVE HIM ALONE)

RUNRUNRUN BACK TO CHAT NOIR

Surpringly hard to find now what is this he was like fifty feet tall for god’s sake where did you go

“Chat? Chat Noir?” Gently calling his name into the woods. She apologises over and over. She just got so overwhelmed but she promises she’s okay now

To the sound of a branch breaking, her head whips around. She stares for a moment, but it’s only when he shifts ever so carefully that her eyes adjust to how much of him she’s seeing

He’s lying down on his stomach now, to hide under the tree line. Even this big he can still melt into the shadows. That’s her Chat Noir for you

She carefully approaches through the trees. He keeps his arms tucked well in and away from her. His huge eyes aren’t terrifying now; just filled with terror.

-

Chat explains to her that something hit him during the last akuma attack but because he detransformed it didn’t take effect. Now every time he transforms, this happens

Is it what the akuma intended?? Is it an overload of energy sources?? We just don’t know

It’s probably energy-related bc when it happens he feels overwhelmed as well & can’t focus/gets really hazy and detransforming is like, EXTREMELY difficult, he gets stuck like this for a little while and it takes real effort and focus to detransform now

Marinette, absolutely horrified that he hasn’t asked her for help: Why haven’t you gone to Ladybug??

After nearly collapsing a building the last time, Chat doesn’t want it happening in the midst of Paris again, but also the only place that Ladybug appears is in the midst of Paris when fighting an akuma. He doesn’t know who she is outside of that so he can’t exactly find and meet with her later

Marinette: (hdkadjakdfjsjjd)

“Also….I’m so afraid of scaring her��.I don’t want her to look at me like you just did I couldn’t bear it,”

Marinette: (HDJAKDJAKFJSJJDSJ)

———

ITS LIKE 2AM AND I DONT HAVE MUCH MORE THAN THAT BUT IF I NEED TO MAYBE I’LL ADD MORE LATER,,,,,,,,

[zilbea]

FAHC Freewood with protective mercenary Dan please ❤❤❤ Maybe Dan was visiting the fahc and saw that the vagabond holding a knife while Gav looking so terrified at him? (Theyre joking around ofc, just that Ryan was so lovingly pissed off at gavin) Dan misunderstood the situation and almost kill Ryan?

Interesting, I’ve never written Dan before, but I love this idea. I’ll take it and run. Might be a little darker (and longer) than you wanted, but I’m a slut for angry sexual tension fahc freewood dynamics. Hope you enjoy, and thanks for the prompt! 

————————— 2044 words

Gavin set his jaw, crossing his arms as Ryan stalked towards him. The alleyway was small and dim, but Gavin figured he could scale the fence behind him if he truly needed to make a getaway. 

“You idiot,” Ryan spat, quickly closing the gap between The Golden Boy and himself. His skull face paint accentuated his furious scowl, and the dim light cast haunting shadows across his tall figure.

Gavin lifted his chin as Ryan crowded him, refusing to take a step back. Gavin’s cheek was bleeding, but he hardly felt the sting. His chest was tight, and he took a deep breath before defending himself. “How was it my fault, then?” Gavin held his defiant posture, vary aware of the knife held tight in Ryan’s hand.

Ryan drew himself close to the Brit. He was breathing hard, hand itching to plunge the tip of the blade into Gavin’s puffed chest. “This was a stealth mission. An easy in, easy out. And yet,” Ryan crouched slightly, leveling his eyes with Gavin’s, “Someone managed to let a guard slip away.” 

Gavin met Ryan’s icy stare, and his bravado wavered. He had never seen such a look of absolute fury in those gorgeous blue eyes - let alone seen that fury be directed at himself. Gavin could feel the Vagabond’s hot breath across his face, and a sharp pang worked its way into his gut. Ryan’s stare was overwhelming - unwavering, unblinking. His face paint was smeared at the edges; his dark hair a matted halo across his head. He looked legitimately psychotic and, although Gavin hated to admit it, unbelievably sexy. Gavin narrowed his eyes, willing himself to focus. “That guard wasn’t under my zone - If I had taken him down, I would have bloody let three others get out.” 

Ryan pulled away from the Brit slightly, staring at him in disbelief. A low growl of agitation rumbled from his painted lips. 

A car passed by the alley and its headlights, for but a moment, made Ryan look absolutely feral. Gavin swallowed. His gaze flicked from Ryan’s knife to those intense blue eyes. Ryan wouldn’t actually hurt him, would he? 

“Besides,” Gavin started again, rubbing his hands together. His brow knit as he developed his lie. “If I remember correctly, that guard was marked in your sector. But you were too busy doing… What again?” Gavin knew he was playing a dangerous game, and he watched Ryan’s muscles tense. “Oh,” Gavin continued, waving a hand. “You were damn off with Geoff - wrongly, ay? Too focused on your own shitting reputation to remember your agreed place in the job.”

Something in Ryan snapped, and he sprang upon The Golden Boy. He grabbed a fistful of Gavin’s immaculate button-down shirt and dragged him to the brick walls of the alley, pinning Gavin against the wall with a forearm, not really caring if he hurt the smaller man. 

Gavin’s head cracked against the brick and he squeezed his eyes shut to block out the sharp pain. He felt Ryan’s ragged breath in his ear.

“How dare you,” Ryan growled, his voice husky. He pressed Gavin harder into the wall. “You’re a fucking coward. Afraid to own up to your wrongdoings; even more afraid to learn from your mistakes.” 

Gavin opened his eyes slowly, glaring up at Ryan’s seething visage. His stomach flipped at the sight before him; Ryan was sweating, lips parted in a snarl. His eyes twinkled from beneath between the face paint, but to Gavin’s surprise, they sparkled with something… a little different than pure rage. Gavin swallowed dryly. There was very little space between him and the Vagabond, and Gavin, seeing no other option, decided to use his compromised position to his advantage. He lowered his eyelids and tipped his chin up slightly, locking his gaze with the Vagabond’s. “Are you going to kill me, Ryan?” 

Ryan paused at this, grimacing. His eyes bored into Gavin’s green ones and irritation prickled the back of his throat. “I should,” Ryan said, voice cracking slightly. His heart pounded and he couldn’t seem to get enough air. Gavin looked the picture of absolute seduction, and Ryan hated that it had any affect at all on him. Anger and adrenaline still boiled in his veins, and he slid his forearm higher up Gavin’s chest, inching towards the tanned neck. Ryan watched Gavin’s eyes widen, and the Vagabond nearly smiled. So. The cool, calm, collected Golden Boy did have a sense of danger after all.  Ryan felt a warm tightness in his chest and Gavin’s nervous breaths flitted across his face. Ryan settled his forearm against Gavin’s throat, crowding his body closer to the Brit. His voice was low and steely as he spoke. “We were supposed to get through that complex safely… quietly. Turning a stealth mission loud can go horribly south” Ryan squinted at the man under his arm. “You’re lucky no one got killed. I’m astounded at your complete incompetence.”

Gavin gazed down at the Vagabond through his eyelashes, aware of nothing but the arm pressing down on his windpipe. The pair were silent for a bit, only the sound of their breathing echoed through the alley. Gavin knew he fucked up - knew he should have been paying closer attention - but in the end, the crew got out safe, and that’s all that really mattered. Gavin lifted his chin higher, talking over the arm against his neck. His heart thudded. “I dunno, Ryan.” A dangerous glint flickered across his green eyes, and he wiggled his body a little under Ryan’s weight. He locked eyes with the taller man, grabbing Ryan’s oppressing forearm with both hands. “Maybe I like the danger.” He pulled Ryan’s arm harder into his own neck, biting his lip. To Gavin’s delight, a look of absolute shock plastered across the Vagabond’s face.

Ryan yanked his forearm from Gavin’s chest, but Gavin held on tightly, back lifting from the wall as he clung to Ryan’s arm. Ryan growled and dropped Gavin back against the brick. He pressed his body flush against Gavin’s, unsure if he was furious or turned on. “You insolent piece of shit,” Ryan spat, voice wavering more than he liked. “You have no idea what you’re doing.”

Gavin shrugged, mischievously rolling his hips against Ryan’s weight. He raised his eyebrows languidly, eyes raking across Ryan’s face. “Oh, I think I do.”

Ryan’s knifed hand flew upwards, and Gavin winced, flinching as Ryan embedded the tip into a crumbling brick next to his head.

“You like danger, do you?” Ryan leaned in, lips nearly brushing Gavin’s. A drop of sweat rolled down his back, and he savored Gavin’s wide eyed look of terror. Ryan would have almost felt bad, if not for Gavin’s fully blown pupils and parted lips. 

“Oi!” A voice rang out, and suddenly, Gavin was no longer pinned to the wall. Gavin reeled at the sudden freedom, looking around wildly. A muted grunt echoed from the ground, and Gavin watched in shock as Dan Gruchy, notorious mercenary and longtime partner of the Fakes, slammed his boot into Ryan’s stomach. Ryan rolled backwards, righting himself to his feet. With admirable speed Dan drew a pistol, leveling it at The Vagabond’s skull. 

“All alone in an alleyway, no one around to blame you for the murder of The Golden Boy,” Dan said angrily, positioning himself defensively in front of Gavin. He cocked his gun, glaring at Ryan. “A perfect scheme, I’d say.”

“Look,” Ryan started, cautiously raising his hands as he stared in bewilderment at the mercenary.

“I know we were partners once, before all this crew shit,” Dan spat, gesturing slightly with the pistol, “But that doesn’t mean I won’t put a bullet through your skull, ay?” Dan threw a quick glance at Gavin over his shoulder before rounding on Ryan once more. “You’ve about ten seconds to explain why the eff you’re ‘bout to off Gavin Free.�� Dan’s free hand joined the other at the pistol’s handle, and he squinted at the Vagabond.

Ryan frowned, unsure of his words. “I wasn’t… trying to kill him - ” He gestured with his raised hands slowly, measuring Dan’s reactions. “Gavin’s actions nearly cost us a mission… And he didn’t seem to understand the severity - “

“So you plan to run him through with a knife?” Dan gripped the pistol harder, gaze unwavering.

“Dan,” Gavin’s voice called.

Dan kept his attention on Ryan but gritted his teeth. “Yeah, B? You want me to kill this traitor?”

Gavin huffed, crossing around Dan to stand next to Ryan. “He’s telling the truth.” Gavin looked at the dirty ground uncomfortably, wishing he wouldn’t have been so stubborn.

“Yeah?” Dan said incredulously. “What did you do so bad then, that this bloke should pull a knife on you?” He held the pistol level with Ryan’s chest, despite Gavin’s proximity.

Gavin’s gaze flicked from the angry mercenary to the irritated Vagabond, and he sighed. His chest was tight as he spoke: “Let a guard go in a stealth op. He got out, alerted the whole complex. We barely got out with our lives…” Gavin swallowed, surrendering his pride. “He got away on my watch. The whole thing went to shit, and it was my bloody fault.”

Ryan glanced over at Gavin, eyebrows raised. “So you do admit it. Is The Golden Boy really taking responsibility for his actions?” Almost all previous malice had left his voice.

Gavin kicked at the dirt. His heart was heavy. He prided himself on his decent track record of flawless heists, and despised feeling like a monumental letdown.

Dan faltered at Gavin’s statement, lowering the pistol slowly. “Come off it, Gavin. That’s a pretty decent offense.” He looked from Gavin to Ryan and back again, confused. “Hang on, that doesn’t explain why you,” he took several steps toward Ryan, hostility creeping back into his voice, “had Gavin pinned down, threatening him with a knife!” 

Ryan raised his eyebrows at Dan, grimacing. He turned his palms up in a half shrug. “Um.” He chuckled uncomfortably. “Emphasis?”

Gavin turned red and quickly intercepted Dan with a tanned hand on the mercenary’s chest. “It - It’s okay, B. Uh,” He threw a panicked look at Ryan and gazed up at Dan, smiling nervously. 

Dan frowned, slowly piecing together the situation. He searched Gavin’s face, eyes going wide as everything clicked. Dan’s cheeks flushed and he nodded stiffly, disengaging the pistol’s ammo. “Right.” The mercenary took a few steps back, staring at the uneasy pair before him. “Right,” he said again, hurriedly. “Well I - just know that I’m lookin’ out for you, Gav.” Dan couldn’t figure out where to put his arms. “You better not lay another hand on him,” he gestured towards Ryan, who was now grinning, thoroughly enjoying Dan’s discomfort.

Ryan lowered an eyebrow, his smile wolfish. “In what context?”

Dan backed away and tripped over a stray trash can lid - wishing he was anywhere else. “Just don’t… murder him - and Gavin, don’t get yourself killed from anymore stupid mistakes.” Dan turned on his heel, and walked away quickly, regretting not just minding his own business.

Watching Dan disappear into the street, Ryan rounded on Gavin, arms crossed. “You understand why I’m so upset, correct?” 

Gavin nodded, fighting the urge to roll his eyes. 

“So you admit you fucked up,” Ryan said, a hint of amusement creeping into his voice. He moved toward Gavin, grinning as the Brit took several steps back. “Gavin Free made a mistake, is that correct?” Ryan knew he was being needlessly antagonistic, but it was too much fun getting a rise out of Gavin.

“Yes, Ryan, Jesus.” Gavin moved further backwards as Ryan approached, a spike of panic rising in his chest when he felt brick wall against his back once more. 

Ryan drew himself up against Gavin again, placing his arms on either side of the Brit’s head. His mouth brushed Gavin’s ear, voice low. “You’re sorry?” 

Gavin nodded again, heart pounding. He knew Ryan was just messing with him now, but Ryan’s presence was intoxicating.The Vagabond’s hot breath ghosted across his neck, raising goosebumps along Gavin’s arms.

Ryan pressed his body hard into Gavin’s, smirking at the slight gasp from the Brit. He growled low into Gavin’s ear, voice ragged. “Then show me.”

[lazyfox411]

Spiderman: Afraid of Water (ft. Irondad)

im back from the dead yall with a fic i promised @spiderling-the-meme​ a long time ago and never ended up finishing until now. 

Length: 1904 words (a short boi)

Prompt: i honestly dont even remember what the actual prompt was my dude i just know you asked for peter being afraid of water after his experience of being dumped in a lake by the vulture and tony accidentally triggering that fear while theyre on vacation with irondad and spiderson feels so….thats basically what this is lol

Peter used to enjoy long showers. A relaxing flow of warm water, clouds of steam, and the fresh scent of soaps and shampoos. It was all enjoyable. Key word being was.

               Now, stepping under that warm stream meant reliving. This water was warm, but not all water was warm. This water didn’t surround him like a dark wall of nothingness, but some water had. He could still breath under the shower water, didn’t sink into what seemed like an endless abyss, but that wasn’t true for all water.

               Being in the water meant reliving. Reliving the night he’d been dumped in a lake and left to die, the glow of the Vulture’s eyes still refracting through the ripples. He hadn’t given it a second thought at first, but then he’d notice hid heart rate going up, the hairs on his arms raising, his breath getting short. He’d pinned it on the spidey-senses, some sort of danger near by, only he couldn’t seem to find anything wrong. It only dawned on him when he looked at all the places it reoccurred: the beach, the rain, the shower. He was afraid of the water.

               So now, Peter took shorter showers. Just to get clean, not to relax. When Aunt May offered to take him to the beach, or the pool, he politely passed. He didn’t go out in the rain unless he had to, and never without an umbrella. And no one questioned it.

               Today there were no clouds looming over the city, so Peter decide he would be safe without an umbrella. If anything, it would be snowing today; with winter temperatures blowing in earlier than usual.

               Peter stared out the window whenever he could at school that day, not to watch the weather, but rather to avoid watching the whiteboard at the front of the class. School seemed so boring now that he was Spiderman, but he had promised Aunt May and Mr. Stark that grades would come first. He might have had his fingers crossed when the subject of precalculus came up.

               “Mr. Parker,” droned the precal teacher, Mrs. Traff, a middle-aged woman with wrinkled hands and massive red glasses, “since you’re not paying attention, I can only assume you already know the material?” Her voice didn’t waver, but her sharp eyes pierced through him.

               “Absolutely,” Peter lied, hoping his voice didn’t squeak.

               “Then perhaps you’d like to provide an answer for question number two?”

               Peter nodded, slowly, as if buying time would help him in the slightest. He saw Ned waving at him from the corner of his eye, mouthing something that looked like ‘five’.

               “Five,” he answered.

               A collective wave of muffled laughter passed over the other students. Peter’s face heated.

               “Five?” Mrs. Traff repeated incredulously. “Mr. Parker, you are telling me that you believe there are currently five states in our country?”

               No one bothered to hide their laughs this time. Where just a moment ago he was beet red, Peter knew now he looked like a sheet. He looked around the room, only really seeing it now. “This…this isn’t precalculus,” he said stupidly. He was in a history room. Mrs. Traff was his history teacher. Ned was trying to say ‘fifty’.

               Fridays usually carried good vibes, but the day did not get any better after that. Between taunts of ‘Penis Parker’, Ned accidentally blurting that Peter still had a nightlight in his room (really though, Peter had to wonder, what was so wrong with that?), and a freezing cold walk home, Peter was downright miserable upon returning home.

               “What’s the matter, Spider-man?” May ruffled his hair.

               Peter liked when she called him that. When it came from May, it wasn’t a superhero name. It was just a nickname, like squirt or sport, holding only love and affection, and not the weight of the fate of the city. May was supporting him. After laying some ground rules—a lot of ground rules—and a lot of yelling at Mr. Stark, May was supporting him as Spider-man.

               “I’m okay, Aunt May,” Peter said.

               May tsked and smoothed his hair back down. “I know what’ll cheer you up.”

               Peter raised an eyebrow.

               “Tony Stark called today, asking for you.”

               “Me?” Peter asked, like she would be referring to anyone else. “Like, me, as in Peter Parker? Personally?”

               “Yup,” May said, popping the ‘p’.

               “What did he want?”

               “He asked if you’d like to accompany him to an expo this weekend. In Miami.”

               Peter’s eyes widened to saucers. From what he’d seen in the media, Mr. Stark’s expos were nothing short of amazing. A whole variety of guests, from college students sporting backpacks and sweaters to millionaires in extravagant suits sipping fancy drinks, a big inspirational speech from Mr. Stark, and all the newest ground-breaking technology that SI was funding.

               “I can go?” Peter asked.

               May pretended to think about it. “I suppose. If you promise to be good. No taking on supervillains. Or staying up past bedtime.”

               Peter was already bounding to his room to start packing. “I’ll be good, Aunt May, promise! I’ll be so good! The best!”

               May chuckled. “You already are, Spider-man.”

A sleek black car pulled up outside Peter’s apartment early the next morning. He couldn’t see through the tinted windows, but there was no doubt in his mind that this was one of Mr. Stark’s cars.

               A quick goodbye to May later, Peter was getting in the car. Part of him had been expecting Happy to jump out and open the door for him, but the window rolled down and over the purr of the engine and blaring AC/DC came Mr. Stark’s voice from the driver’s seat, “Come on, kid, we can’t afford to be late.”

               “Happy isn’t taking us?” Peter asked. He’d never admit it, and he knew Happy wouldn’t either, but he was pretty sure they were actually getting along really well.

               Tony smiled, a different kind of smile, like he wasn’t quite sure of himself. “I figured we could go it just the two of us,” he said. “If that’s okay.”

               “Yeah,” Peter grinned. “That’s cool.”

               It was really cool. Mr. Stark had sort of become like a father to Peter. A rich, famous, awkward, bad-at-feelings, superhero father, but a father nonetheless. And if Tony wanted to spend time with Peter? Maybe Peter had become like a son.

               The thought made him glow.

               They talked about Peter’s school, and Miami, and how great it would be to escape the ever-dropping temperatures, and listened to music too loud and bought ice cream and got a parking ticket (“I’m so sorry Mr. Stark I’ll pay for it I swear!” “Kid. Seriously?”), and while it wasn’t a regular road trip, Peter didn’t think he’d ever had a better one.

               Tony handed the car over to the hotel valet and their luggage to the bellhop. Peter had never been in a fancy hotel before. He wondered if they were all like this, or if he was just getting special treatment because he was with Tony Stark. Either way, it was pretty cool.

               “Expo isn’t until tomorrow,” Tony explained while Peter gawked at the luxurious sweet they would be staying in, “so tonight’s for doing whatever you want, kiddo. I mean…Pete. Peter.”

               “Cool,” Peter said absentmindedly. He didn’t notice Tony’s little slip; he was too enraptured with exploring the bathroom he was pretty sure was bigger than his entire apartment. “I mean, uh, yeah,” he cleared his throat, “cool.”

               “I think there’s an arcade downstairs,” Tony suggests. “Or we could go find the pool.”

               Peter has remembered to pick his jaw up off the floor now, but is still staring, wide-eyed, at the art pieces that adorn the walls of the hotel room, and not really hearing a thing that’s being said.

               “That sounds good,” Peter says, still distracted.

               He only realizes what he’s agreed to once he’s standing on the small tiles of the pool’s edge, clad in a pair of swim trunks May must have packed in his bag, and being suffocated by the strong scent of chlorine.

               They’re the only people here, and Tony has already dived into the water, and he looks very happy, instead of being terrified and looking for the nearest exit like one other particular person in the room.

               “Come on, Pete!” he calls. “The water is nice!”

               Peter’s throat tightens. “Um, I- uh,” he stammers, trying to think up some sort of excuse, but Mr. Stark is waiting for him, eyes twinkling and water dripping from his dark hair, and Peter doesn’t want to disappoint him so he makes his way forward on shaking legs.

               He crouches by the very edge of the pool, despite the thousand alarms going off in his head, and Tony swims over to him.

               “Come on,” Tony says again, reaching out for Peter’s arm. Peter freezes when water droplets make contact with his bare skin.

               Tony, still smiling, unaware of how close to hyperventilating Peter is, takes a gentle hold of his arm, and tugs. It’s meant to be gentle, an attempt to coax him, and it is, really, except that Peter isn’t very focused right now and it’s enough to send him over the ledge into the water.

               The temperature is uneven, a swirl of cold and warm, separate, but still mixed, and the water is wet and it’s everywhere and it’s heavy, why is does it feel heavy, and why is there no air, why can’t he breathe, he’s thrashing, sinking, why won’t his body swim, the breath leaves him in a stream of bubbles, where’s the air, he can’t breathe—

               A strong pair of hands pulls him back up to the surface.

               “Mr. Stark,” Peter manages between coughing up water and sucking in air, “I’m sorry, I—”

               “It’s okay,” Tony says, and in true Tony Stark fashion starts rambling, “it’s okay, Pete, just breathe. I’m sorry, I’m so, so sorry, I shouldn’t have pulled you into the water like that, I’m so sorry, I didn’t know you couldn’t swim—”

               “No,” Peter interrupts, “it’s not that. It’s not that, it’s…ever since that one time, with the Vulture, he dropped me into that lake, and I thought I was gonna die, Mr. Stark, and I would have if you didn’t come and save me, and ever since then, the water just…scares me.”

               And just like that, Tony is scooping him up like he’s a little kid, and carrying him out of the pool room. He gives Peter a towel to dry off, and looks at him, with his hands on Peter’s shoulders.

               “How come you never told me?” Tony asks.

               Peter can breathe better now that he’s away from the water, and he is silently glad Tony knew what he needed to make him feel better. He’s not glad about the guilty look that paint’s Mr. Stark’s face, Mr. Stark isn’t—Tony isn’t supposed to like that.

               Peter shrugs. “It’s not your fault, Mr. Stark. I guess it just never really came up.”

               “Will you tell me next time? If there’s ever something bothering you, I want to help.”

               A nod.

               “Well,” Tony says, straightening and moving to stand, “that’s certainly enough swimming for tonight. Or forever. What do you say we go back up to the room and watch a movie instead? I think we can probably pay-per-view Star Wars or something.”

               “That sounds great,” Peter grins. He means it this time.

[gg-astrology]

hey, how are you? could you pls do taurus sun, cap moon for the sun-moon placements thingy? ty 🥰💓

Hey there! 💕 💕 💕  Ahh I’m doing slightly better today tysm for asking! 💕 💕  I hope you’re doing well too! 💕 💕 

[Below Cut: Taurus Sun - Capricorn Moon 🍵]

Wants love/nurture/care but at the same time they’re so plagued/bogged down by their own doubt, insecurity and ‘personal issues’ 

Most of these are self-fulfilling prophecies, but the double earth combo can have a really hard time not calculating consequences to things, actions, decision they think they have to make. That they lose opportunities for happiness altogether.

You’re practical to a fault, to the point where you feel yourself (know that you’re) limiting yourself. You like being decisive, directive. Concrete and straight-forward response ( ‘hey I think this..’) But you drive yourself into paranoia when it comes to trying to decipher other people’s reaction/motive/what they mean when they do that.

You flounder between thinking ‘oh maybe it doesn’t mean much’ and thinking ‘shit does it mean something?’ -- Taurus/Capricorn knows they can be oblivious (not pay attention) to other people’s reaction because they’re self-contained/sufficient. They may think themselves as kind of dense, and it has never been a problem for them until they actually hope/want something from others y know?

‘Ignorance is bliss’ can only work for so long, these people are stubborn and clingy to their own ways/methods to thing.

 Learn sometimes that you are repressing your own emotions-- that emotions are supposed to flow, instead of blocking yourself for getting your hopes up, for having faith in others, for not being practical all the time. 

Learn how to let emotions be emotions, how to ride the wave. It’ll help you ‘come down’ later (when it evens out) and think practically later.

This is how to develop your Capricorn Moon instead of making it ugh-- bad for you all the time. You can learn how to use it to your best, if you let it pause/hit stop and let emotions do it’s own thing as well (practice) without the interference of your mind buzzing all the time.

You work better when you actually process your emotions, let it heighten spike and then envelop you, before it evens out. Once you’re relaxed/drained-- you can have an easier time planning your next step of action (instead of your overly obsessive hyped up paranoid self doing the thinking)

Anyways it’ll take time. Taurus/Capricorn are also people who stands firm with their friends, they may not show it much but they do care. And often times they’d like to spoil others if they can (Venus/Saturn)

That doesn’t mean that they do it thoughtlessly, these people are prudent/frugal to a fault. Even when you spoil your friend it’s as a ‘reward’ -- you want them to feel like they’ve accomplished something before you shower them with gifts. 

You can be stern/strict when you have to, you know when to put your feet down and you’re not afraid to do it. Often times, you’re the friend who always have your head on right and can stop others from being ‘stupid/foolish/going to hurt themselves’--- but you have to learn how to let go

You know this--- part of your insecurity is that you feel like you’re not as fun or bold or joyful as others. You like your comfort, but why is there nothing ‘special’ in your comfort you can show off to others? Learn how to let go, let your impulsivity come by. Learn how to tie your practicality with bold ideas, let your friend influence/help you, enable you to do stuff and put that clever clever mind to use instead.

You’re better at being street-smart than you realize, you just like safety a lot. Learn how to listen to others, have an open-mind to those who’s a little more maverick than you. Learn how to have fun, and find your purpose socially too (who you are socially) -- it’ll help you feel a little less distanced/not so special and a lot more appreciative of your own traits y know?

With those you love, you love dearly. You set down roots with fond trust and happiness with them. But that takes time and shift to grow on you because you can be terrified of change/things that moves too fast. You might have to confront that fear-- especially if you feel like someone is trying to get you to open- up/changes in your relationship-- don’t let your own stubbornly/safety-net keep you from not adjusting to the pace of the world.

Value yourself in your talent, your skills rather than the result/what you get from it. Your worries are often just your own make-up of things that you think are against you (odds more than benefits even if it’s made up in your mind-- opportunities vs practicality, you hesitate to think about opportunities you can afford.). 

You have to learn how to let go of your ‘self-identity that’s measured with material wealth around you’ -- whether it’s with friends (unstabilizing friendship) with your achievements or with what/who you think you are. By re-defining yourself with positivity and optimism-- like ‘yeah I’m a good artist/person/deserve to be love’ -- you advance more and doesn’t let your own adversary (your own mind) get the best of you. 

Try not to hold onto your fears, or suppress your feeling so much. You have to release that tension by openly admitting to it and talking about it-- I know as an earth/earth you’re already going ‘yikes sure maybe later’-- but try to do so now. Try to implement it now in your everyday life. Grab one of your friends, and maybe have them help you learn how to be better at expressing/accepting your feelings.

(Don’t grab another earth sign friend btw, or fire sign for that matter. Try to grab someone who’s a water, preferably Scorpio or Cancer)

I hope this helps! 💕  Good luck!! 💕 💕  

[theuninspirednovelist]

Kitty Terror

Written for @bayneon

Thank you for being so damn kind and patient with me

Out of everything he expected, having a cat stalk him was one of the last things, honestly. Realistically, this was something unimportant, something that he would be laughed at if he told someone, something that was so absolutely ridiculous to say out loud that Thor wouldn’t even say it to himself, and yet…

…yet it was happening.

He couldn’t be sure, but he saw the cat, this specific cat, everywhere he went.

He had told himself that he was seeing things, that he the rule was getting to him and that maybe, perhaps maybe, he needed to lay off the drinks he had but no.

No matter what he thought, he ended up with the same conclusion.

He was being stalked by a cat.

It was black, the deepest shade of it, with two big round green eyes that always stayed focused on him. It stood at a distance, always, it followed him, gracefully leaping from one obstacle to another as it trailed parallel to him, sometimes anticipating where he was going.

Those were the times he was actually terrified.

He would go to a tavern or go riding with his friends and there it was, the green eyed cat, watching his every move. It had a long, graceful that that it would curl around its paws in a manner that was somehow, to Thor, threatening.

He went camping one time and woke to the cat sitting right next to the candle on the small table beside him. The sharp light on its face made it look demonic and Thor had very nearly pissed himself that night.

Of course when he sat up and rubbed his eyes, it was gone and the candle had gone out.

It could have been a dream, he told himself, but the smoke was still whispering away from the wick and his heart was pounding far too loudly for comfort.

It followed him when he was at the palace, it followed him when he tried to sleep, honestly, there were nights where he swore he felt it walking over his back as he slept.

Not that he would tell anyone.

Or at least…just anyone.

This morning, he decided to go to the one person who always seemed to have answers – even if they were snarky – for him. He listened and guided him to a path that helped him solve his problems.

Most of the time.

It was after breakfast and still relatively early so Loki was bound to be in his chambers. There was no other place he liked as much and when he entered, he did so quietly, looking around in case that cat was around.

Something Loki immediately pointed out

“Well, look who finally learned how to open doors” he said snidely “should I be worried?”

Thor snorted “No, I didn’t wish to disturb you”

“How kind” Loki said, still lost in the book he was reading “What do you need, Thor? I am busy”

“I know, I just…need help” Thor said, feeling his cheeks prickle a little bit in embarrassment “it’s a strange problem I have”

“Oh?”

Loki closed the book and turned to give Thor his undivided, scrutinizing attention

“What’s wrong?”

Thor parted his lips to speak, the words were at the end of his tongue, but he shook his head

“Actually, never mind, I am likely being paranoid”

He spun around to leave but came to a dead stop when Loki’s magic closed and bolted his doors shut.

“You’ve disturbed my peace and will not leave will you tell me” Loki said, arms crossed over his chest “tell me”

Thor’s heavy shoulders sagged when he heaved a loud sigh, then turned to look at Loki, his gaze almost afraid.

“I fear I am being tricked by something”

Loki frowned “What do you mean?”

“Something is following me around” Thor clarified “I know I am not imagining it, I thought I was, but it is far too common to be a coincidence”

“Something is following you around?” Loki asked “you mean a spirit”

“Perhaps”

Thor came to sit in one of Loki’s benches and sighed “Not exactly a spirit, something like that”

“Speak plainly, Thor, as you can see, it is only I who is here with you” Loki said sternly

“A cat” Thor said “I am being followed by a cat”

There was silence for a few long seconds, then Loki pulled his lips inwards, trying not to smile

“You’re laughing at me” Thor droned

Loki shook his head, his face flushing as he controlled himself

“Yes, you are, I can hear you snickering” Thor stood “so aye, forget it”

He turned to go and Loki went after

“No, no, Thor I’m sorry, I wasn’t laughing!”

He was still grinning and Thor growled

“It was a mistake coming here” Thor opened the door, thankful that Loki let him “Goodbye, brother”

“Thor!” Loki called, stopping when Thor slammed the door closed.

Snickering, still, Loki stood there a moment, then went back to his work, trying not to think overmuch about this

Outside, Thor was cursing himself for being stupid and crossed the halls to go towards the training arena. He could hear the warriors battling it out on the field and felt a little at ease when he took his spot in his usual balcony, overlooking the fights taking place.

And in response to their future king watching them, the warriors improved their stance and fight, pretending they hadn’t seen him.

He liked the attention and smiled, setting his arms down on the bannister as he watched and tried to get the meeting with Loki out of his head.

Something landed on his back and Thor froze when he heard a very familiar meow.

Immediately, he spun, trying to bat the cat off, yelping when he felt it get stuck in his cape

“Get off!”

He twisted and turned around in circles, trying to get it off and in the back of his head, he heard the fighting and sparring stop, but didn’t pay mind to it. He could feel the cat on him and he clawed at the cape, shaking, jumping, leaping into the air to get it off!

The cat was still on him!

“Off!”

Thor yanked his cape over his head and threw it aside, panting in effort, glaring at the offending thing.

There was silence all around and slowly, Thor turned to see everyone looking at him.

He felt his face prickle with shame and chagrin

“I …”

He stopped the attempt altogether when they just nodded and started to go back to their training, leaving him standing there, with no cape, no cat and no dignity.

*** And that was only the beginning ***

Thor made a face as he stepped into something wet, cold and kind of squishy. He didn’t want to look down but he had to and so he took all the courage he had as a warrior to peek at the thing underneath his foot.

“Oh Norns no,” he said as he saw the dead mouse or what was left of it on the floor. It wasn’t the first time this had happened and he feared it wouldn’t be the last.

For the past two weeks he had been stalked by this cat; and he swore to all Norns that this beast was sent by Hel herself to torment him. Hopping on one leg he made his way into the bathroom to clean the mess off his foot.

“This is so disgusting,” he muttered as he scrubbed his foot clean before checking his boots and slipping his foot inside.

Three days ago that little spawn of Hel had put a mouse in there and he had ruined one of his favorite pair by squishing the dead rodent inside. It had been one of the most unpleasant sensations he'd ever felt in his life, feeling that cold, horrid feeling between his toes and over the ball of his foot. It had him shudder in disgust till the next morning, where his brother smiled and snickered at his misfortune but offered no solution to it! He was sure that he would do the same today because they were to have lunch with their parents. Loki would look at him with that twinkle in his eyes and a smile on his lips, laughing inwardly when Thor told him of this disgusting, awful incident. He would get his father and mother to laugh, too, no doubt! And yet, he couldn't not share this awful story, there was nothing he wanted more than for someone to give him a solution because honest to Norns, his training didn't tell him how to fight against a very small, very clever cat.

Once he made it to the dining room and sat down at the table with his family. Loki looked up from the book he was reading and smirked at his brother, “you look rather annoyed Thor.” He'd set the book aside to give him his full attention, which indicated that he was very well aware of why Thor was upset, but seemed to want him to say it out loud. The older prince scoffed, “That stupid furball has brought me another dead present.”

Loki snickered, “you know when cats bring you their prey they think you are a terrible hunter.” Thor angrily grabbed a piece of bread and tore it into two smaller pieces.

“I am the greatest hunter there is,” he told Loki "You know this" "Not better than the cat, apparently" Loki rolled his eyes Thor growled and chewed on the bread, “And I will catch that pest, mark my words"

Loki gave him a disbelieving look "Cat, you mean pests are slightly more notorious than an adorable, furry pet" Thor crushed the bread in his hand and Loki smirked as he had a drink

***

Another incident occurred when Thor was happily talking to one of the ladies at court. She was sweet, soft and supple; and by the looks she gave him, she was very interested in him.

Something Thor reciprocated.

It didn’t take long for Thor to take her to Idunn’s private orchards and go on about the delicacy that were her apples.

“Would you like one?” Thor asked, casually leaning against a tree “They’re very good”

A gentle reminder that one could get these apples by royal permission only had her excited and before long, Thor was cutting an apple in half for her as she hovered close by. They shared the apple and once it was gone, they shared sweet kisses under the tree as Thor pressed her against it.

He didn’t expect her to start screaming.

Thor blinked, thinking he’d stepped on her foot and an apology was at his lip when he saw a black ball of rug and rage leap at and sink its claws into her skirt. She spun around and the cat went with, hissing and spitting at her, tail puffed in rage, ears pulled back. It’s green eyes were insane with jealously as it scratched and bit at every bit of skin it could reach and Thor was shaken out of his shock by something very strange.

He’d seen this jealousy before.

His face contorted into anger and Thor lashed out, grabbed the cat by the scruff and pulled it off the screaming woman, who went to weep behind Thor, shielding herself from the beast.

“Loki!” Thor shook the animal “This has better not be you, Brother, I am going to strangle you if is it!”

The cat blinked at him, green eyes wide and dark. Its tail was still puffed up, it’s paws curled to its chest as he stared at him for a second.

And then

It spoke

“I did not expect myself to be this easily caught” Loki’s smooth, silky voice said

Thunder erupted above him and Thor let out a shout as the cat turned into smoke and vanished from his grip, leaving behind nothing but shame and anger and a desire to smack Loki as hard as he could.

Not that he managed to do that.

He’d reached Loki’s doors when a portal opened beneath his feet and Thor yelped as he was taken from Asgard and dropped into a crater on Midgard.

And where he sat, perched on his bannister, his tail waving behind him, his big green eyes filled with mischief and promise for more, Loki let out a contented purr and went back into the palace.

With Thor gone, his father was prime for his next series of attacks.

Shout out to @nijura108 who was critical in this.

[reesewestonarchive]

chapter six / rem belongs to @forlornraven / masterpost / mature content

The van idles in the parking lot when Nakoa wakes. Rem’s nowhere to be found, until Nakoa peers out the window of the motel room and sees him setting their bags in the back, a cigarette stuck out of his lips.

Nakoa pulls from the window, stretches his arms above his head.

Waits for Rem to come back, and when he does, he takes one look at Nakoa and says, “You ready?”

“For /what/?” Nakoa’s ready to settle down. Get a job in some bullshit city that won’t ask his age. Rem can…

Well, maybe if he’s happy, he…

“Next leg of the trip.” He pulls the cigarette from his mouth, stubs it out on the bottom of his shoe. “You wanna get dressed?”

Right now, he wants another fucking nap.

“I’ll blow you,” Rem says, with a raise of an eyebrow, and Nakoa snorts. There’s no fucking way Rem wants to get out of here that quickly. “If we go.”

“Yeah fucking right,” Nakoa says.

But Rem steps forward and pulls Nakoa against him by the hem of his t-shirt. Tucking his fingers into the waistband of Nakoa’s pants, he says, “No. Hey.” He tugs at Nakoa’s collar, a smile tugging at his lips. Nakoa thinks about kissing him. He doesn’t. “I’m serious.”

Nakoa looks from Rem’s lips to the van outside. “Where are we going?”

“Oregon, maybe. Why not Canada? Or Mexico. Check out some of their beaches.” Rem grins. Draws Nakoa in for a kiss, and he tastes like coffee and creamer, sweet and smooth.

Like a different guy, but… fuck, Nakoa’s used to this. Rem gets freaked out by something, says a bunch of jackass shit, and Nakoa handles it poorly. It’s not like this thing between them’s easy. Nakoa doesn’t understand it himself, most of the time. Nakoa’s never wanted as much as he wants with Rem, and… that’s terrifying. To imagine the future and want someone by his side.

“What happened?” Nakoa asks, when his eyes are still closed and Rem pulls away, just slightly. “With the blood.”

Rem goes tight under Nakoa’s fingers. “I don’t want to talk about it.”

“Tough shit. You’re going to.” Nakoa pinches him, under the arm, and Rem yelps, scowls at him.

“Might have some prick on my tail. Don’t worry about it.”

Don’t worry about it. “You nearly beat the shit out of my dad when he hit me last year,” Nakoa says, trying to contain his frustration and failing, “but the second I want to make sure you’re okay—”

Rem pulls away. “It’s not the same. Come on, in the car. You can drive.” He flashes a smile, mischievous, but it doesn’t reach his eyes.

“Rem.” Nakoa flattens his voice, steps backwards so Rem’s presence isn’t quite so intoxicating, so he can think through the fog in his head. “I’m serious.”

Rem sighs, runs a hand through his hair. “It’s fine. Can you calm down? I’m not some fucking damsel in distress. I can take care of myself—”

More than he had the other night, Nakoa wants to leave. Let Rem fend for himself, see where that gets him. But then, he imagines Rem lying on the side of the road, or in some dark alley next to a liquor store, and— “Why are you so afraid of this?” he asks, thinks about gesturing between the two of them, really nailing down what he’s talking about.

A dark look passes Rem’s face, before he says, “Because I don’t want you involved.” Nakoa expects him to leave—it looks like it. “You don’t need to get caught up in my bullshit anymore than I should be caught up in yours.” Nakoa wants to tell him that he likes to be, that he likes knowing Rem’s fine, that if he could help, he would. And now that it’s them against the world, two of them on the road alone, each other is all they have. But Rem doesn’t let him, says instead, “We have fun together, right?”

And any hope burns to ash in Nakoa’s chest. He tastes it on his tongue when he says, “Yeah. Fun.”

Bowie plays on the stereo in the car, and Nakoa hears it from miles away. He thinks of what Rem said in the motel room; fun. That’s what it started as; is that all it will ever become for Rem?

Desire breeds warm and heavy in Nakoa’s stomach, sated temporarily by sex, but more often Nakoa just… wants. A longing feeling when he sees Rem singing along to the radio, when Rem moans—a different one when Nakoa touches him than the one he makes when eating pancakes, but neither less arousing than the other.

The goofy grin when he teases Nakoa.

He wants. Maybe the two of them will never own property, will spend their lives on the run from Nakoa’s shithead of a father, from the people Rem hustles for money to survive, but that’s a better end than wasting away in Withervale.

Nakoa should tell him. He should find a way to say the words without scaring Rem off, to say without expectation what he wants.

But then, he wants Rem. Is it not better to have what pieces of himself Rem will offer?

-

“What are you doing?”

Rem’s voice is scratchy with sleep. His eyes bloodshot from a twelve hour drive, and Nakoa’s knuckles hurt from where he has been pressing against play, pause, record for two hours, listening to the radio.

Fuck. Nakoa rips off his headphones, says, “Nothing. Why?”

Rem raises an eyebrow, says, “Come on. Come to bed.”

Bed tonight is the mattress in the back of the van. Nakoa’s money sits safely in the locked glovebox, but it’s dwindling. They’re close to Oregon, now, Disney just a pipe dream, but Rem keeps pulling off to look at the wildlife. To stop in gift shops. To tug Nakoa around randomly in tourist traps.

Nakoa might revel the attention, if he thought it would lead anywhere.

In Rem’s hand hangs a bottle of whiskey, capped, but when Rem leans down to press a kiss to Nakoa’s lips, he tastes sober. Like toothpaste.

Nakoa chases Rem’s mouth with his own when he pulls away. Rem smirks. His gaze lingers on the tape recorder. “This for me?”

“Fuck off,” Nakoa says. He’d picked up the tape recorder in a pawn shop for a few bucks, one night, and a pack of blank tapes, too. He’s tossed out one shitty mixtape once already, to throw Rem off his tail, to keep him from immediately suspecting. Kind of counterintuitive—the whole point of the mixtape is so Nakoa doesn’t have to say anything—but it calms the anxiety some. That tape had a bunch of Madonna and Bon Jovi, interspersed with just enough of what Rem likes to keep him from telling Nakoa to fuck off and replace the mix with something else.

But it’s hell, finding songs for him. It’s a fucking nightmare. Nakoa has two, right now; a Queen song and a Bowie song, and it feels like the damn thing is never going to be completed. There are a million songs out there, but they’re too cheesy. Too fast, too slow, too cheap, too cliche. Whatever Nakoa’s looking for, he hasn’t found it yet.

Rem’s hand is cold in Nakoa’s, though. There’s a chill to the air, but Rem is warm when he pulls Nakoa against him, brushes his lips against Nakoa’s hair, and laughs as he says, “You need a fucking shower.”

“Rich, coming from you.” Not that Nakoa minds; or not that he can say anything about it. They both need showers, water pressure better than what by-the-hour motels have to offer. Some fucking soap.

Nakoa hums under his breath, already trying to budget out what they’ll need. He can’t.

“What are you humming?” Rem asks. His breath is warm against Nakoa’s ear, his arm a pleasant weight over Nakoa’s waist. It’s been a few days since they’ve fucked. Rem’s been going, too much, switched on too often. Nakoa jerks him off in the van, sometimes, on open stretches of road, sometimes Rem returns the favor, but Nakoa’s getting restless.

That was the beauty of Withervale, Nakoa thinks. The opportunity to do whatever the fuck they wanted, whenever. And it’s not like they couldn’t pick any town they pleased, settle in, but the call of the open road sounds like the call of a siren, to Nakoa; irresistible.

“Sounds like Queen,” Rem says.

“Good ear.”

“Mm.” Rem’s voice is already drifting. Nakoa waits until Rem’s breathing evens out, sneaks back out to where the recorder sits on the old picnic table next to the van.

It’s dawn sooner than Nakoa expects, and there’s a vicious crick in his neck that throbs and burns when he moves his head.

But, after searching through multiple tapes, through radio stations, through mixtapes… Nakoa’s finished.

He clears his throat. Hits stop on the recorder, then hesitates, his finger over the record button again. He could say it, here. Tell Rem everything he wants to say, even though words are meaningless. It’s easy to recognize that, with Rem. The amount of things that just happen, the words that fall from Rem’s mouth.

Nakoa shoves the tape in the stereo of the van, and crawls back onto the mattress. Rem’s breathing is still slow and steady.

He doesn’t move towards Nakoa in his sleep, so Nakoa does it instead. Presses himself against Rem’s side and curls against him. Nakoa breathes him in, stretches his legs, and passes out.

He wakes to Freddie Mercury singing over staticky, broken speakers, quiet, barely audible. Nakoa stretches his arms over his head, yawns, and sits up.

Rem’s behind him, hands in his lap, picking at the last few remnants of his nail polish from his nails. Nakoa makes a mental note to pick some up, if he can find any.

Nakoa watches him, for just a moment, head tilted to the side, before Rem says, “I like this one.”

His heart swells. A grin grows on his face. “Yeah?”

Rem says nothing, though. Just starts the van, puts it into gear, and drives.

Mist surrounds them, casts the road and woods in an eerie, romantic fog, and Nakoa listens as the tracks change from one to the next, discordant in genre but similar in theme.

Rem laughs when The Scorpions play, taps his fingers against the wheel, and Nakoa feels his heart sing along with the lyrics.

When the tape ends, Nakoa takes a deep breath into the silence, his breath loud in the empty space between them. Rem says nothing, seeming content in the quiet. Nakoa wants to fill the silence, somehow, but all the words feel wrong, now. The tape has already said everything he wants to say to Rem, more eloquently, more concise.

But the miles pass, and Rem says nothing. More miles pass—and he says nothing.

Nakoa resigns himself to nothing, disappointment growing in him like a wild beast, untamed and unmanageable. He bites at his fingernail. Lights a cigarette and takes two drags before he puts it back out.

Still, Rem says nothing.

So neither does Nakoa.

[night-springs]

MARY idk if uve talked abt this before but what was violets relationship w/ julius like?? im super curious

KDSFHSDKF MICAH im so excited to talk abt this oh my god tysm….. also im so fucking sorry this took so long, i had way too much to say about it… ok so for context, violets canon playthrough order is vice kings > carnales > rollerz

…also, since its super obvious when reading this, i always wanted julius’ seemingly blatant distaste for johnny to have come into play in some form at like… any point in the series really. but since volition never went anywhere with it im taking it into my own lil gremlin hands

(background to this interpretation of julius)

in a word it was.. complicated. they were never close. when they met, julius was just looking for more recruits, the saints needed all the help they could get, but he thought he saw something in that skinny, terrified kid when him and troy saved her from being caught in the middle of a turf war. plus the kid owed him a life debt, and that aint a bad thing to have in his position. but, to violet… sure his speech about taking back the city to “save lives” was nice and all, but its not why she joined. she was homeless, starving, had nowhere to go and no options. she didnt even really have to think about the offer, becoming a saint just made sense. it was a step towards something, even if she didnt know exactly what it was, and so violet showed up in the churchyard the very next morning

from julius’ pov, violet took to fighting like a fish to water. capable, willing to do whatever it took, never talked back or questioned orders, and owed him their loyalty? to be honest she was basically the perfect little soldier. he thought this kid had a serious chance of being one of their key members… and he wasnt wrong. but in truth violet was terrified. when troy took her to buy a gun and had her kill someone for the first time with it, she managed to keep it together until she dropped him off and he was just out of sight. then she vomited all over the passengers seat of the car. the constant terror made it hard for her to sleep at night. a broken nose, bloody bandages over cuts from close calls with stray bullets, too many bruises to count and it didnt take long for her knuckles to become more scars than skin. for a while she was arguably more of a wreck than she was before she joined up

but at the same time, joining up improved things for violet. before this shed been sleeping in an alleyway, but now at night she could sleep in the church, and the other saints were friendly to her. then, when she got her first share of money? she went and bought herself a full meal and almost cried on the spot. soon, after pocketing as much cash as she could from dead rival gangsters wallets, she saved enough to get a loft right in saints row, and it was a shitty one, but she didnt fucking care. she loved that loft. from her point of view, julius was giving her the chance to save her own life. all she had to do in return was kill people for him. and she rationalized it to herself that way. if she had to kill other people to survive, then so be it

….and then violet began to realize how much of an adrenaline junkie she is, and holy fuck did she love to fight. if she had an opportunity to ditch the gun and just go in with a bat or even just her fists, she took it. the rush of risking her life became something she thought was fun. plus the respect she got as a saint? people were afraid of her, and she had anyone wearing purple on her side. the thrill, the power, the money, the loyalty… without her even really realizing it, running with gangs went from a means to an end to something that she enjoyed. but this change happens slowly, over the course of taking over stilwater. in truth, julius’ betrayal was what finally tipped her all the way

julius starts to hate her before they even finish off the vice kings. hed assigned her to helping out gat first, thinking even if dex was overseeing everything, their youngest lieutenant would need someone who could handle it if one of his crazy plans went south. but the trail of carnage and destruction violet and johnny left behind was the exact opposite of what julius wanted. he thought itd be over once the VKs were finished and he could assign violet to working with another (more stable) lieutenant, but after gat had taken that shotgun blast to the knee to help the kid escape and shed gone in alone to save him, the two were practically attached at the hip. the kid would follow gat around like a lost puppy, and the only person johnny spent more time with than violet was his girlfriend. then, once tanya was dead, he overhears a rumor that the supposedly mute kid could not only talk, but she would only speak to johnny or aisha. apparently gat had gone asking around if the kid had spoken to anyone else before him, and thats how everyone found out (gat was slightly offended when he found out violet spoke to aisha first, long before vi made that horrible hepatitis joke to him, and aisha had been keeping it a secret for her)

julius had never liked gat, he didnt care about ending the gang wars and was only there because he was bloodthirsty and lived for violence. and now he and the kid julius was becoming increasingly cautious of were feeding off of each others recklessness. not only were those two a volatile mix, but it seemed like julius was losing control of playa because of it… and that was bad news for him

johnnys sidelined, and banned from helping with any moves against the carnales and rollerz. julius told him it was because of his injury, which they both knew was a bullshit reason; hed been fucking up the vice kings just fine even with his messed up knee. gat did not take it well, and there was a shouting match that violet walked in on. vi was upset of course, her and gat were friends now and she liked running missions with him, but she wasnt going to argue. even if playa didnt understand julius’ decision, she didnt question him, but there was a lot of tension between johnny and julius after that, especially when it seemed like julius was actively trying to keep vi and johnny away from each other. anytime theyd hang out at the church, if julius saw them together you could feel the tension fill up the room, and more often than not hed just send violet out with some bullshit orders. the two quickly learned to hang out away from the church after that

by the time the carnales are history and theyre gunning for the rollerz, julius knows how badly he fucked up. thinking he could start a new gang, and control it? he was naive. theyd taken over almost all of stilwater, but at what cost? how much of the city had they destroyed along the way? and at the center of all that carnage was violet. the more of the city they take over because of her, the more disgusted she makes julius. he needed to stop the saints, stop her, but he has to do it carefully. if anyone realized it, or that he was trying to get playa killed, the gang would turn on him in an instant. the rest of the saints idolize playa, and they all know shes a big part of the reason for their success. if anything happened to julius, the gang would rally around violet, and he knows it

at first he was just sending her into risky situations because of the faith he had in her, but for a while now hed been sending her on straight up suicidal tasks on purpose, hoping someone would finally just take her out before she caused any more harm or became even more of a problem. but she just keeps coming back. doesnt matter if its just her against an entire stronghold of god knows how many seasoned gang members, shell walk out only a little worse for wear. julius starts to wonder just how terrifying this kid is, and all the while violet never even notices that julius is doing this, shes just doing what shes told. hes all praise whenever they speak, trying to keep her placated. troy notices the risks julius always seems to take with violet, but he just thinks julius is putting too much faith in the kid and driving her too hard. he starts trying to look after vi in his own ways to make up for it (thats how they become friends) but he never realizes julius’ true intentions until its far too late

vi and lin are flying solo now, with almost no help from the other lieutenants. julius makes it look like hes putting more faith in violet, no more kid gloves. of course vi and lin get in over their heads like that, and when lin gets killed and vi ends up in the hospital, julius wishes to god that she had just drowned in the river with lin

and then, soon after, its done. the vice kings, the carnales, the rollerz, theyre all a memory. the saints own the whole damn city, or whatevers left of it. and then julius gets arrested, and he finds out troy is a cop, and julius knows its all over…. but troy offers him a deal: get johnny and playa out, and he can walk. he gets the idea right there, to kill violet himself. theres no way shes going to stop, and julius knows it

violet knew driving over to the dock that she was walking into a trap, but if it was to get julius back, it didnt really matter. shed already murdered a major public figure and the chief of police trying to get him back, shooting her way out of another situation almost seemed pretty fuckin mild at that point. so it doesnt surprise her when hughes’ men surround her; no, what does surprise her is the sudden loud beeping, the confused look on hughes face, and something in her gut screaming at her to run. whether it was the wall of henchmen between her and the explosion, or the split second before the bomb went off that she used to rush forward and leap just over the railing that saved her life there, shes never sure. maybe it was both. either way, the burns scarring her back for the rest of her life show she didnt get off scot-free

five years later, and within 24 hours of waking up and breaking out of prison, shes already visited the police station and listened to the tapes. and once shes heard them, violet is seething. she did EVERYTHING for julius, became a murderer, risked her life, followed all his orders without question! and he took five years of her life away! tried to take all of it away! something in her just snaps, and she sets up the meeting with dex that same night

julius thought hed be meeting up with dex, but in truth he isnt surprised to see violet instead; hed been dreading the possibility of this day since he first learned that shed survived the explosion. but even so, even after what he did, it quickly becomes obvious that julius genuinely doesnt believe that violet will follow through with payback. and violet is livid, feels like somebody hollowed her insides out and theres nothing but anger under her skin anymore. despite everything he doesnt know her at all, still thinks shes this loyal little teenager who will do whatever shes told. a dog on a leash, because he never learned that she could be more than that, that she was more than that

and then, hearing him hold himself over her? violet knows who she is and whats she done, shes under no illusions about that. but hearing julius somehow think hes the good guy, that hes morally better than her after everything he did, everything he ordered her to do… it adds a whole new level of hatred. not to even mention how he tries to leverage saving her life over her again, after shed MORE than paid back that debt. thats the last straw, and she kills him. never regrets that choice for a single second for the rest of her life

after that, violets just… angry. shes like that for years. julius took everything good she ever had away from her, and every person she kills is another “fuck you” to his memory. gang member, cop, civilian, she doesnt care anymore. julius wanted to save the city from her? good. shell burn the whole fucking thing down just to spite him

she doesnt get over that for a long time

[dahniwitchoflight]

Undertale Character Thoughts

OH BOY this is a blast from the past lol

anyway, listening to undertale music lately has sparked a sort of thought process in me, which is basically how I define the differences between the character’s of Frisk and Chara, and I think Ive settled on something pretty key to their overall stories.

How They Fell.

in the case of Frisk, I think they just merely fell. My headcanons for Frisk include that they were abandoned by their family up on the mountain to die from exposure, but Frisk trying to get back ended up causing them to fall underneath MT. Ebott into the underground instead.

By Frisk’s generation, most of the legend had simply been eroded down to “if you climb the mountain, you will never return.” I actually wonder if they even knew that long long ago there was a war, monsters had been sealed underground, because the opening of undertale has the climbing legend happen AFTER the timeskip where Frisk is shown. Anyway by that point, the legend about never returning seemed to be attached to the mountain itself as being a cursed place in general, not because there was a danger of encountering long sealed away monsters, that was impossible to the human’s of Frisk’s time, even if just for the sole reason of “everyone forgot monsters were even actually down there”.

But when Frisk fell into a place that turned out to be inhabited by all these strange and funny looking creatures, they were probably more curious than afraid, maybe they connected that these were the monsters from their childhood fairytales, maybe not

but the ambiguity of it to Frisk left them open to being able to make friends with them instantly and naturally and blah blah blah pacifist route basically

that’s Frisk.

now, in Chara’s case, they were the First Fallen Child, and that makes a world of difference.

my thoughts for how Chara fell, is basically that they didn’t fall, they were thrown down there as punishment by the other humans. In a time were the existence of monsters down there as a dangerous species that they had been at war with that would probably kill humans was still very fresh in the human’s minds. 

However, I don’t believe Chara as a human child did anything to actually deserve being thrown to their death by their village or family. Maybe they were an exceptionally naughty kid. Maybe they DID do something Bad one time that was really bad, but instead of trying to teach Chara or let them understand why it was Bad. They named them a Demon who did Bad things and decided to punish their Badness by throwing them down with the other “monsters” and dying down there, go away from us, you who is not human, but a Demon like those that live down there. etc

So Chara’s “fall” was terrifying, full of confusion, betrayal and abandonment from those Chara thought had loved them. Never understanding why they were thrown in the first place, and basically landing immediately next to a being they thought was going to kill them for sure. A Monster.

Asriel himself states that Chara fell for an unhappy reason, and that they hated humanity because of it. Very likely this is the version of events that Toriel/Asgore explained to Asriel, don’t give small innocent child all the horrible details yknow, they don’t really need it. But I’m sure Toriel and Asgore saw the obvious.

anyway, instead, what happened was Asriel brought them back to his parents, and Toriel and Asgore raised and loved Chara as one of their own child.

and here’s the important part, Chara does truly love Asriel, Toriel and Asgore. It probably does take an adjustment period at first sure, but they DO truly all love eachother and Chara is a Good Person at heart, but also just a child who doesn’t know any better, maybe wasn’t taught WHY certain things can be good or bad, only punished for any mistakes they happened to have made without given a chance to fix them.

Here’s a quote from Asgore when talking to Frisk in one of the ending’s “ Young one, when I look at you... I'm reminded of the human that fell here long ago... You have the same feeling of hope in your eyes. “ 

HOPE, not Rage or Hatred or any other negative emotion, but HOPE.

The thing that spoils it, is what happens when Chara feels once again, that they were betrayed and left to die by someone they thought loved them like family.

and it happens because, Chara made a mistake, they did something BAD. they put buttercups in butterscotch pie. Doing something this Bad before got them thrown away by their old family. There’s no saying this new family wouldn’t do the same to them this time.

So, Chara needed to fix it, NEEDED TO. In their mind, that was the only way they wouldn’t be abandoned again. 

In the game, we can find text from Asriel’s point of view stating Chara hatched a plan right after this event for them to give Asriel their Soul, so Asriel could get six more from the humans and they could have unlocked the underground setting everyone free.

now, some people can interpret this as Chara got the idea to die from buttercups by watching Asgore nearly do it, and this allowed Chara to do what they wanted from the very beginning, which was kill all humans, them dying let’s their soul go to Asriel, making them more powerful enough to kill everyone. But Asgore’s line about Chara’s eye’s being filled with Hope, not Rage, to me doesn’t feel like the right motivation/idea that Chara got from that. 

especially when you think thw worst and say Chara was murderous towards humans from the beginning, and knew the buttercups might have killed asgore before he ate them, why even waste that step on Asgore??? why not just, eat the buttercups from the beginning and go straight to murder town if you knew they were deadly? it was only stated that they hated humans, not monsters, the only thing theyd be towards monsters is afraid if anything, and why would Asriel say they kept insisting on 6 more souls, not ALL humans?

especially because, how would Chara know that making a monster/human hybrid would make them super strong? Chara only knew that a human Soul was needed to cross the barrier, that monsters couldn’t do it without a human soul. and if you’re assuming that Chara only brings Asriel across to get him to die to humans, (because if Chara wanted all humanity to die why not go by themself?) that’s also wrong, because Chara themselves says “I didnt understand, i thought our plan failed.” OUR

to me, the more likely explanation seems like Chara not only felt responsible for their mistake with the buttercups, but felt responsible for the “mistake” of the humans in sealing monsters down there in the first place, and taking it upon themselves to fix not just one small mistake, but to fix every mistake, to solidify their place within Asriel’s family, because Bad things that go unsolved/unfixed make things like “getting thrown down a mountain and left to die there” happen in Chara’s mind

but it goes wrong. it goes so wrong. Chara assumed that Asriel would naturally have the same hatred towards humanity that Chara did, afterall, Asriel was a monster, and humans did all this wrong stuff towards monsters. But Asriel was born after the monsters were sealed, the underground was all he ever knew, Humans were a boogeyman story to him. Asriel never had the direct hateful urge to kill humans that Toriel or Asgore might have.

So Chara relied on Asriel to be able to do what they thought he could do, kill humans, get 6 souls, come back and free all monsters. But Asriel couldn’t, he stood there and took the attacks (because he was a child with no desire to hurt those he didn’t know had wronged him), in Chara’s mind, Asriel let the humans win and kill both of them, in Chara’s mind, Asriel betrayed Chara and left them to die

and also, I think in Chara’s mind, they probably didn’t understand really what Death was. They had kind of an idea, from Asgore, that he was hurt by it, and they knew eating buttercups would let their Soul go to Asriel

but Chara as just a soul was still there in Asriel, urging him onwards, even if Chara understood what death was, they maybe didn’t understand the permanence of it, they probably thought theyre soul could go back into their body afterwards, just like the souls of the six humans they needed to break the barriers, sure you needed to be hurt pretty badly for your soul to come out, but as far as Chara a child knew, they were a soul and they were still here, it was undoable or not as bad, or they just werent fully aware of all the consequences of those things

anyway, the point is, after all of that, Chara dies thinking their family had betrayed them once again

so by the time they are awoken in a certain timeline, by Frisk killing their first monster. In genocide, Chara says that Frisk’s determination and human soul awakened them from death, but also says that the strength to be awoken like that was from the player’s urge to raise their attack and LOVE, which can only be done if you kill someone

so the experience of Death, in general, is probably what awakens Chara, who from their own point of view, was just confused that Asriel’s and Their plan had failed, but through the player’s choice to continue murdering, Chara becomes twisted not only by their hurt and betrayal, but by the admission of the player that murder was an okay response to people who had hurt you

so by the end of Genocide Chara becomes twisted into this murderous being that wants to kill everyone who ever hurt them

my point basically for all of this, is that Chara never becomes “evil” before their actual death, just a scared confused child who’s been hurt by everyone they ever knew. It’s the player (or from an ingame, instory perspective, Frisk) who teaches them that murder is the way to respond to being hurt.

don’t get me wrong, Chara obviously already thought that hurting people back who hurt you was alright, if someone pushes you you push them back, no one had ever bothered to teach them otherwise. But I fully believe that until their own death, they didnt understand the permanency of what to die actually means. 

they just knew that when Asgore got really hurt, it was bad, and when they themselves got really “hurt” and sick, they stayed concious and aware as a Soul, so surely dying and being a Soul was bad but not all that bad, those other humans can “die” and let us borrow their souls, they’ll come back somehow and be fine just like me and Asriel will, right? Just like Asgore did, right?

and overall, it is the player who changes Chara into the genocidal maniac at endgame, changes them from only RESPONDING to hurt with hurt, but actively seeking those who havent hurt them and hurting them first. Chara’s life and story definitely set them up for feelings of hurt and betrayal towards all things, towards everyone they thought loved them, and feelings of mistrust to everyone. 

But they are taught how to respond to those feelings that by the player. Both Frisk and Chara are actually. Frisk is still a character in genocide route, they don’t become Chara throughout the game, Chara only manifests at the end. The Player is the one who teaches Frisk that you can attack strangers just because they look scary or you don’t like them. 

and Chara probably does exist in some form in the pacifist route, they were brought back to “life” or conciousness by Frisk’s determination and Soul. That doesn’t change in either route I think. and seeing how the player and Frisk respond to things that might hurt them in pacifist is probably the first time they were ever directly taught how to respond to things like that. But only genocide route gives Chara enough “power” to manifest outside of Frisk.

anyway that’s my little chitchat on this subject, i spent hours getting all my thoughts out coherently and in order enough that its understandable, but this is basically how I end up viewing both Chara and Frisk, in both routes each.

[winterbaby89]

As Destiny Has Its Eyes On You Chapter 8/?

All the thanks to @artistic-writer for making this lovely pic.

Summary:

Princess Emma Swan of Misthaven has been prophesied as the Savior since before her birth. Now with the help of a Lieutenant from her past she is going to take her destiny into her own hands, to defeat the Evil Queen.

A/N:

This story is inspired by ’Destiny has its eyes on you’ by the lovely @seriouslyhooked (EmilyBea on FF). With the overwhelming support and love from EmilyBea and @ilovemesomekillianjones (who has graciously agreed to be my beta on this entire project, she can also be found on: AO3, and FF), I am presenting this to the public.

This story is rated ‘M’. I hope you enjoy, and if you haven’t read the works from these lovely ladies, I highly recommend you do so. Chapters 1-4 are based on chapters 1&2 of ‘Destiny Has Its Eyes on You’

AO3  FF.net  Prologue/Chapter 1  Chapter 2  Chapter 3  Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7

Chapter 8

About a week after the attack Emma is lounging on one of the barrels near the helm.

“Killian?”

“Yes my love?”

“What is the date?”

“What?”

“What’s the date? I know it’s November, but I’m not sure the day.”

“I do believe it’s the thirteenth, why?”

Emma’s eyes widen, without a word she gets up and heads to the stairs leading to their cabin.

“Emma, is everything okay?” When she continues below deck without answering, Killian has Smee take over and follows her to their quarters. Walking into the cabin he sees she’s pacing and chewing on her bottom lip. “Love, is there significance to the thirteenth?”

She startles at his question. “What? No! Why?”

“When I told you the date you got quiet and pale, then proceeded to run to our cabin where you are currently pacing. What’s wrong? You know you can talk to me.”

“It’s not the thirteenth that’s significant, other than being this far. You’re sure it’s the thirteenth, not say the fifth by chance?”

“Yes love, I double checked my chart, why? What is so wrong with it being the thirteenth? What’s so important about the fifth?”

She takes a couple shuddering breaths before sitting down on the bed. “Killian, you love me right? No matter what?”

Now he’s even more concerned for Emma, still not quite grasping what’s going on. He sits next to her, and taking her hands in his, he looks straight into those beautiful, but worried emerald eyes of hers before he speaks. “No matter what, good or bad, always and forever, I love you, Emma. Now what is going on? I’m worried about you.”

“The date of import is the sixth, it’s the day I always start my… you know... my monthly.”

He notices that Emma is blushing furiously as she speaks. Oh! Killian is stunned by this revelation, and Emma continues on before he has a chance to respond.

“Which I’m sure, due to our more enjoyable daily activities, you’ve noticed I haven’t had my monthly since being with you.” She lets that hang in the air between them for just a moment before continuing. “Killian, I think I know what’s wrong with me. The fact that I’m no longer intact makes it possible. It’s a full week after the sixth, I’m still getting sick almost a week after the attack, no one else is sick but me.” She finally looks him in the eye, still holding his hands. “I’m fairly certain…” Emma pauses a moment to gather her courage before finally revealing her life altering realization. “I’m certain I’m with child.” The tears that have been pooling in her eyes spill over, afraid of his reaction, terrified he’s going to push her away, even though rationally she knows he loves her, and would never do that to her. Damn hormones.

“Emma, you’re certain?” She’s too choked up to answer so she just nods. “Don’t cry, my love. I know this wasn’t something we had planned for, or even thought to take steps against for that matter. Nor is it something we had thought to talk about yet, but I think we’ll make damn fine parents.” He smiles brightly before wrapping her in a hug, kissing her senseless. When they break apart for air, he looks her straight in the eye. “Marry me? I’ve wanted you to be mine since the day we met. I would follow you to the end of the world, or time, and I will do everything in my power to make you happy. My life without you was hollow and dark, and now that you’ve come back into my life it feels like I’m seeing the sun for the first time in years. I will love you and our child with every fiber of my being.” He pauses for a moment so he can get down on one knee, then taking her hands in his he asks her again, “So, what do you say love? Will you marry me?”

Emma is stunned into silence, this is not the reaction she was expecting from him, though she really should have. When she notices the tips of his ears are pink from embarrassment and his smile starts to fade, she’s able to find her voice again. Emma gets down on her knees with Killian, and gathers him up in the strongest hug she can muster. “I would love to be your wife, Killian! I’ve dreamt of it for years, but the crew thinks we’re already married.”

“We can do a small ceremony for now, just you and me, under the stars, and do a larger, grander affair later if you want one. Maybe with your family there…” Killian helps Emma stand back up while they’re still entangled in their embrace, and he perches them back on the edge of their bed.

Her smile falters a little at the thought of her family, but she responds nonetheless, “That sounds perfect. When?”

“Tonight, if you’re feeling well enough for it.”

“Tonight then.”

With a quick kiss he gets up and walks over to his hidden floor safe, opening it up, he pulls out the simple jewelry box he keeps in there. He is looking for something that he has held on to, hoping for just such an occasion. His mother’s ring. It’s a beautiful silver band woven to resemble interlocked vines with a gorgeous two carat stone the same shade of blue as his eyes, the eyes his mother passed on to him and Liam. Sitting next to his mother’s ring is Liam’s ring, the last piece he has of his brother. He has never been able to bring himself to wear it, now it seems meant for this moment. It’s a large silver ring with a rather large emerald set flush in the band, the stone matching Emma’s eyes perfectly. How fitting. The stone in my ring will remind me of Emma’s eyes every time I look at it, and the stone in Emma’s will remind her of my eyes. … Hopefully. Killian takes out the two rings, then places the jewelry box back in the safe and closes it back up before walking over to Emma, who’s still sitting on the bed.

“So what do you think my love? Will they work?” He hands her the two rings to look at.

“They’re perfect. I can tell they’re well loved, who did they belong to?”

“Yours was my mother’s ring, passed to Liam when she died, then to me when he died. Mine… used to be Liam’s, I got it when he died.”

“Oh Killian, I’m sorry. If it’s too painful you don’t have to wear it.”

“I actually think he would like me wearing it like this, I know he would approve. He always liked you.”

“So, we’re really going to do this?”

“Only if you want to Emma, I’ve said before, I want you to be happy, and I will do anything in my power to ensure it. Do not mistake my words though, it would make me the happiest man alive to call myself your husband, and you my wife. But I’ve no wish to hurt you, or sully your reputation-”

Emma quickly cuts him off. “NO! I do want this; I think I always have. Granted this isn’t how I imagined it coming about, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you, or the fact that I want to be your wife. I want to be able to claim you as mine, and mine alone, as much as I am already yours and only ever was yours.”

◊◊◊

Much Later That Night

Killian and Smee are the only people on deck, having dismissed the night crew from their watch a few hours early, which Smee will finish for them after the ceremony is completed. Smee is to act as their witness and officiant even though technically the Captain is the one with the power to perform marriages. Killian’s nerves and excitement are rearing their head in the form of him pacing.

“Sir if I may. If you keep pacing you’re liable to walk through the deck.” Killian just gives him an unamused look. “I must admit sir, I never thought this day would come. I am glad though. She makes you happy. We are all happy for you, both of you.”

“Thank you Mr. Smee. All it took was finding the right woman, and she is the right woman. There is no one her equal, she exceeds every standard. She is the standard. Now we just have to hope the in-laws take the news well. But you and the crew should not expect any change in your Captain, just because I have found my Emma again.”

“Never sir, we would never try to take advantage like that.”

“I know you wouldn’t Smee, but Murdoch and Walsh definitely did…”

“Have you decided what to do about them yet?”

“I… no punishment I come up with feels like it fits their crime.”

“I’m sure you will come up with something sir, and they will be more than deserving of it. Is the Princess feeling better after that traumatic situation?”

“She seems to have put it past her completely.”

“I am very glad to hear it, sir.”

◊◊◊

Emma is putting on one of the two dresses she thought to bring, it’s her first time wearing a dress since her birthday. She’s thankful she thought to grab this dress and bring it with her, it’s perfect for tonight, she thinks. It’s a beautiful silvery grey, silk off-the-shoulder dress, form fitting, hugging her curves in all the right places, hinting at just the right amount of cleavage, while still being comfortable. Killian won’t know what hit him. Emma smiles thinking about Killian, and what tonight means for both of them. The three of us, she thinks happily. Wondering how long it will be before she starts showing, she rests both hands on her still flat belly, and takes a deep breath, “Well, I guess it’s time.”

She smiles as she exits the cabin to head for the stairs and her future. Both men turn hearing her approach, they’re stunned when they catch sight of her as she ascends the stairs up onto the deck. Killian strides over to escort her across the last expanse behind the helm where they’ll become husband and wife.

“You look radiant my love.”

Emma blushes as Killian presses a gentle kiss to her palm. “Thank you, you don’t look so bad yourself.”

“Captain. Princess. Shall we?”

Killian quickly looks at Emma before answering. “Yes Mr. Smee, please.”

Smee just nods his head, beaming at his Captain and his beloved. “We are here on this beautiful, starry, early morning, aboard this magnificent ship to join these two souls as husband and wife, until the end of time. Captain, you may proceed with your declarations.”

“Emma, my love my words are failing me now that we are finally here. Darling, I’m beyond grateful. I’m honored that you love me and have chosen that from this day forward we will walk through life as partners. As husband and wife. I promise to do everything in my power to make sure you know that you are loved and cherished. I will move heaven above and earth below to ensure that you are happy and never want for anything. I love you. And from this day forward know that I am yours body, heart, and soul.” Once he finishes speaking he reaches up with his thumb to brush away the tears rolling down her cheeks.

Smee clears his throat, sounding a little choked up with emotion. “Beautiful, Captain… now Princess, if you will.”

“Killian. My Killian, you were my first love, my only love, my true love. You had my heart from the moment we met, never once did I lose hope we would make it here. No one ever realized I was a girl who just wanted to be loved for being me, not for being the princess, but you did. I will never know how you saw the girl behind the princess, but you did, and I am grateful. Now that I have you back, I can’t imagine a life without you in it, and I’m glad that now I won’t ever have to. I love you. I will do my best to make you happy and ensure you feel my love, from this day forward I am yours body, heart, and soul.”

“Very touching, milady… now the rings. Captain, repeat after me please. With this ring, I, Killian Jones, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”  

As he slides his mother’s ring on Emma’s finger Killian repeats the sacred words. “With this ring, I, Killian Jones, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”

“Princess, please repeat after me. With this ring, I, Emma Swan, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”

She slides Liam’s ring onto Killian’s finger, trying not to cry. “With this ring, I, Emma Swan, pledge myself to you, body and soul, from now until the end of time.”

“With the exchange of rings and declarations of love, with the power provided to me by the Captain, I pronounce you husband and wife. Congratulations, Captain and Mistress Jones. You may kiss your bride, sir.”

Emma gives a watery chuckle as Killian sweeps her off her feet into an earth-shattering kiss filled with every ounce of their love. After a few moments Killian reluctantly breaks the kiss with his wife. Emma’s my wife, Gods above I love this woman, Killian thinks in awed disbelief.

“Thank you Mr. Smee, I think we shall retire for the morning. Be sure to get some rest when the morning watch comes to relieve you. Are we still on schedule to make Oldstown tomorrow afternoon?”

“It was entirely my pleasure, I am truly happy for the both of you. And, yes Captain, we are still on schedule. Should I expect to be in charge of the ship up until we dock, sir?”

“You know Smee, I would say that is a very good idea. But if there is something that needs my attention, know that you can come get me.”

“I will, sir. Again, many congratulations Captain, Mistress Jones. Enjoy your day and a half until we make port.”

“Thank you Mr. Smee, the Captain and I both appreciate your help in taking this special step that we’ve both been waiting for. And I appreciate everything you do for the ship, the crew, and my husband. I hope you have a pleasant rest of the morning.” She walks up hugging him, surprising him, before returning to Killian’s side.

“Good day Mr. Smee.”

“Good day Captain. Mistress.”

“Shall we? Mistress Jones.”

Emma’s heart stutters with happiness. Mistress Jones… we’re married. Finally, he is mine as much as I am his. And to think a month ago I was worried he wouldn’t remember me.

“We shall, Captain Jones.”

Gods above how did I get so lucky? Is this another dream? I will never take Emma’s love for granted… she and our children will never doubt my devotion.

Arriving at the doors to the Captain’s cabin, Killian lifts Emma to carry her across the threshold of their cabin, kissing her thoroughly in the process.

“Killian, you don’t have to carry me, I’m not far enough along that I can’t walk.”

“Love, it is tradition that the husband carry his wife across the threshold of their marriage suite. You don’t want to invite bad luck now do you?”

She playfully swats him in the chest, shaking her head. “No. I guess we wouldn’t want that. Now are you ever going to put me down?”

“Never, love. Never. Now that I have you, I never intend to let you go. And as soon as we get to Oldstown we will seek out the doctor to make sure you are okay.” She starts to interrupt him, but he just raises a hand to stop her, allowing her legs to settle on the floor while keeping his other arm wrapped around her back. “No. You will not fight me on this love, we will have you looked at by the doctor to make sure there are no surprises. After we leave Oldstown it’s still another week, good wind and weather permitting, before we make it to Arendelle. I will not take any chances with your health and life, nor the health and life of our child.” His tone brooks no arguments.

“Killian. Even though we are now married, and even with me being in my condition, neither one negates the fact that I still have to face the Evil Queen.”

“That may be Emma, but we will not take any unnecessary chances and risk you or the baby. I will not try to keep you from your destiny of taking on the Evil Queen, but we will do this the smart way, which does not include charging off half-cocked.”

“Aye-Aye, Captain,” she says. Emma knows he is just concerned for her, but if he insists on orders then she will answer accordingly.

“Now, now, darling, I am not trying to upset you, nor do I wish to control you. Perhaps I need to work on the words I choose?”

“Perhaps,” is her only reply.

“When we arrive in Oldstown I would like to seek out the doctor so he can make sure you and the baby are well. We still have a ways to go before Arendelle, and I think it is better to have you both checked now. Would you agree?”

“That’s better, pirate.” She smiles at him to let him know she does appreciate the sentiment.

“Aye, I thought so,” he replies cheekily, “now let’s get you off to bed, it has been far too long since I have ravished you.” A shiver of anticipation runs up her spine at his words. “I like the dress darling, it’s very becoming on you.”

“I thought you might like it.”

“I think I might like it better on the floor.”

Killian made good on his promise of ravishing her, well past dawn, and every moment they weren’t sleeping until Oldstown came into sight.

◊◊◊

A/N : If anyone is curious, Oldstown is the Southernmost town within the borders of Arendelle. Also, fun fact, I've had this chapter written and queued up since February, and I think the similarities between mine and the shows proposal is adorably funny.

All the thanks to @hollyethecurious for making this lovely aesthetic/collage.

Chapter Nine

Tagging some lovelies to enjoy: @ilovemesomekillianjones, @seriouslyhooked, @jennjenn615, @flslp87, @laschatzi, @ultraluckycatnd, @kmomof4, @xhookswenchx

[fantasticwritingandwheretoreadit]

She’s a No-Maj? (Newt x Reader)

Request:   Could you do one with muggle!reader that lives inside Newts case and helps him with the creatures but the gang hadnt met her yet so theyre really curious about her but Tina's apprehensive cuz of her being a muggle? Even more cuz they're together?  - Anon

I actually really liked this one

ALSO we are going to pretend in this imagine that Jacob somehow got out of being obliviated

ALSO the ending might have been a bit abrupt but that’s what you’re getting this time sorry lol

One thing was vastly different about you.  Something MACUSA would not allow, but of course something Queenie would love and support.

You were a muggle.  (Or, No-Maj in American terms).

You were indeed from Britain, so you and Newt’s relationship was legal there.  But Newt decided he absolutely couldn’t survive in America without knowing you were with him, and your relationship became illegal as soon as Newt stepped off the boat with you in his case.

Yes, once Newt knew about the law in America that says a wizard cannot be in a romantic relationship with a No-Maj, he knew it was not safe for you to be seen with him; and told you it was best to stay in the case for now.  You knew it was for the best too, so you did so without protest.

When Graves confiscated Newt’s case at MACUSA, he became a nervous wreck.  When Tina thought Newt was quietly weeping in the corner of the cell because of his creatures, it was actually (mostly, anyway.  We all know  Noot loves his creatures too, but not as much as you) because he was terrified of the thought of you getting discovered and obliviated so you would not remember him.  

Newt couldn’t picture a world without you.

After that whole messy situation, and Newt saw the love Jacob and Queenie shared, he realized there was no reason to keep you hidden from them anymore.  He carefully explained it to Tina, Queenie, and Jacob.  Queenie and Jacob were very excited to meet you, but law-abiding Tina was a tad hesitant.

As Newt was about to climb down into his case to bring you up, Tina began to speak.  “Newt, you’ve been keeping a No-Maj girl in your case?  And you brought her to America?  And, even worse, you’re a couple!?”

Newt looked up at her.  “Yes.  I love her.  Her name’s Y/N,  by the way.  Her and I both knew the risk we were taking when we came to America, but that didn’t prevent us from coming, did it?”

Tina nodded and sighed.  “Newt.  It’s illegal.”

Newt looked at Tina with a ‘seriously’ face.  “Tina.  Look behind you.”

Tina looked behind her and saw Queenie standing with Jacob.  Oh, right.  Her sister fell in love with a No-Maj.  “I know…” but she had clearly forgotten.  “But, that doesn’t give you an excuse to why you have kept her hidden from us this entire time.”

“I’m sorry, Tina, but after you turned me and my creatures and Jacob into MACUSA where my creatures could have been killed and Y/N could have been obliviated, you didn’t seem like someone I trust and could show my muggle girlfriend too.” (I had to throw some sassy™ Newt in there)

Tina’s eyes widened and she frowned.

“I’m afraid he’s got you there, Teenie.  Now come on Newt!  I want to meet your lovely Y/N,”  Queenie said excitedly.

Newt smiled and went down into his case.

**A few minutes later**

Newt got back out of the case, and stuck down a hand to help you up.  “Everyone, this is Y/N.  My love.”

You stepped out of the case and observed your surroundings.  You haven’t seen the real world since you had arrived in New York.  

You grinned at everyone.  “Hello, everyone.”  You walked over to Queenie and stuck out a hand.  “You must be Queenie.  Just as gorgeous as Newt has described.”  

She giggled and shook your hand.  “Aw, thanks sweetie.  Newt’s quite the lucky man to have a girl such as you.”

You went to Jacob.  “Ah, and your my fellow muggle.  Or, No-Maj.  Jacob, isn’t it?  I remember hearing you with Newt in the case.”

He smiled and also shook your hand.  “Yeah, I am.  It’s nice to meet you, Y/N.”

You approached Tina.  “And you’re Tina, if I’m not mistaken.”

She shook your hand with less enthusiasm as Queenie or Jacob.  “Yes.  I must ask, why did you come with Newt all the way to America when you knew the risk you were taking?”

You glanced back at Newt.

“She asked me the same thing, love.”

You turned back to Tina as Newt came up behind you and placed an arm around your waist.  “Because we love each other.  More than anything.  Newt here can hardly stand being apart from me for a day, and the same goes for me.  I was willing to come to America because he needs more help with his creatures than you might think.  We prefer to be only a moment away from each other. Not an ocean.” (Hamilton reference  *wink*)

Tina’s stern look softened when she saw the way Newt looked at you as you spoke.  She realized you and Newt truly loved each other and needed each other.  “I guess if my sister can have a No-Maj boyfriend, I suppose Newt can have a No-Maj girlfriend.  I’m sorry if I seemed rude at first...”

You smiled sympathetically.  “It’s fine.”

Newt suddenly pulled you in for a kiss, which you gladly responded to but pulled away rather quickly.

They all laughed.

“Newt!  Don’t start snogging with me in front of them!  I thought you had manners,” you joked and kissed his nose.

Please let me know what you thought of it and what I could do better next time!