#and still i sit in the center of this dilapidated dream praying the rafters will miss me when they fall. | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

factumnihil2 · 5 months ago

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starting to come to terms with the fact that my abusers didnt hurt me because of attraction or lust but because they could. because i was extra vulnerable as a gullible autistic child who struggled to describe what was happening to me. because i was isolated as a result of many factors outside my control. because it was easy, and they didn't care how it hurt me.

but i'm not quite ready to digest that yet. so i chew it like a bad cut of meat, tough and sinewy, hoping eventually i can break it down enough to swallow.

#csa victim #csa vent #csa survivor #csa recovery #sa vent #sa recovery #sa victim #i have been living in the fantasy that it is a disorder that can be treated and not a symptom of systemic violence against children.#it's comfy there. but the fantasy is falling apart.#and still i sit in the center of this dilapidated dream praying the rafters will miss me when they fall.

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