#and steve finally introduces his bf to his kid and his kid now 10 and sassIER is like “??? they let you out of camp grounds??”

[shushmal]

my nieces got a lil worksheet at their summer camp to fill out about their family members, and they gifted one to me on father's day. turns out all they know about me is that im goddamn funny and im willing to toss them around still—beyond that im a man of mystery 😂 7 and 5 years old i've known them i've spoiled them and these kids couldn't tell you a damn thing about me except im fucking hilarious 😤 just the way i like it

anyways single dad steve dropping his kid off to the same summer camp every year only to be bombarded with stories about the same volunteer summer after summer except his kid doesn't know the guys name or anything else just

"daddy he's so funny!" "oh really? what's funny about him?" "i don't know" "... well what did he say?" "i don't know" "what games did you play?" "i don't know" "what's he look like?" "i don't know" "his name????" "i don't know"

steve's half convinced that his brain damage is congenital or that the summer camp is haunted by an extremely silly ghost

[spaceorphan18]

SO’s Guide to the MCU

A handy guide for @coffeegleek to decide if she (or anyone else) would like join the ranks.  It’s fine if you don’t want to, but that means more shawarma for us.  

1. Iron Man - 

Robert Downey Jr. plays himself Tony Stark, an asshole billionaire, genius, playboy, philanthropist, who nearly dies, and saves himself by becoming Iron Man.  This film kicks off the tone of the MCU combining humor and action and just being a fun ride.  Completely recommended to get a jump start into the MCU to see how it all begins.  

2. The Incredible Hulk

Rightfully considered the black sheep of the Marvel family.  It’s... not good.  In fact, I couldn’t even find a gif for you.  Eventually, they’ll switch out Edward Norton for the much more entertaining Mark Ruffalo, and pretty much nothing in this movie matters to the big scheme of things, so it’s entirely skippable.  And I mean, even if you are a huge Hulk fan - I’d probably still recommend skipping it. 

3. Iron Man 2

This film is considered by a lot of people to be one of the weaker ones - and while I still enjoy it a lot, it’s understandable as to why people think that.  It’s funny and has charm, but it’s kind of a mess - so... if you had fun with Iron Man 1 and really want to see more Tony Stark I recommend! Otherwise, feel free to move on.  Black Widow is introduced here, but her introduction in The Avengers is just fine.  

4. Thor

For me, the first Thor film is a little ‘meh’, though it does have some charm.  Chris Hemsworth plays a frat boy god who gets grounded to Earth after he misbehaves by his father Odin.  The real gem of this film is Tom Hiddleson’s Loki and the family dynamics between Thor, Loki, and Odin.  The stuff with Natalie Portman and the Earlings is fine.  But I almost recommend watching Avengers first and seeing if you like that first, and if you do, come back and watch Thor if you’re interested or if you just want to see Chris Hemsworth be pretty for two hours. 

5. Captain America: The First Avenger

The epic romance that is Steve and Bucky starts here.  If you’re totally intrigued by tumblr’s fascination with ‘Stucky’ this is a must!!  But more seriously, C:TFA is a fun film, yes set in the 40s, but I think it handles that well and Chris Evans is an absolute delight as Cap -- or Steve Rogers, a plucky kid from Brooklyn who just wants to prove what a big heart he has.  It’s much more entertaining for than the Thor film (IMO), though if you’re still on the fence, again, watch Avengers first, and come back if Cap holds your attention. 

6. The Avengers

If you’re really unsure about any of the first phase of films, then start off with The Avengers.  This film is amazing -- it’s funny, and emotional, and is nicely paced, and you really get a nice sense of who the characters are and what they stand for.  This film is just fun, with the MCU’s trademark humor and intriguing action (and I say this as a person who really isn’t into action films if you can believe it).  I can’t say enough good things about this film - it’s really good, go watch it!! 

7. Iron Man 3

Iron Man 3 is the continuing adventures of Tony Stark.  This film is batshit insane at times (but I kinda love it - though I love Iron Man, so...)  It’s got some great character work for Tony Stark if you’re interested, which I think is the best thing this film has going for it.  It doesn’t, however, play much of a part in the bigger scheme of things, so if  Tony isn’t your person, then you can skip past it. 

8. Thor: The Dark World

This film is often considered the weakest (after Incredible Hulk), but I’m not gonna lie, I find this way more enjoyable than Thor 1.  It’s... not a good film, but if you’re a fan of Thor, or Loki, or just utter nonsense in a fantasy setting then check it out! 

9. Captain America: The Winter Soldier

The Epic Romance of Steve and Bucky pt. 2: The Return of Bucky!!  I’m kinda being tongue-and-cheek, this film is honestly pretty amazing.  It’s a political spy-thriller where Cap has to go underground and undercover when Shield (the good guys) is infiltrated by a Nazi organization.  Everything about this film is done wonderfully well, and I highly recommend this one.  (Though, I’m not doing it justice - just ask @ckerouac) 

10. Guardians of the Galaxy

Do you like epic space operas with a quirky sense of humor and a good soundtrack?? Well then Guardians is right up your alley.  The first film Chris Pratt is Star Lord - a scavenger Han Solo type who finds himself caught up in space hijinks.  There are green aliens and talking trees and raccoons and whatever Drax is.  It’s fun and entertaining.  I think general audiences like it more than I do - but I do agree that it’s a wonderfully done film. 

11. Avengers: Age of Ultron

Well, let’s be honest - the Avengers sequel just isn’t what the first film is.  It tries, and has some charming moments, but just doesn’t hold together very well, the main issue being that the villain - Ultron - just isn’t a very good villain.  If you liked Avengers - give it a shot, it introduced Scarlet Witch and Quicksilver and a lot of the next batch of films, but I recommend going into it without much expectation.  However, you can always come back to this one if you want to wait to see if you like some of the later films first. 

12. Ant-Man

Ant-Man, played by the delightful Paul Rudd, is a low stakes fun heist film that’s kind of a mix between Honey I Shrunk the Kids, Ocean’s 11, and every other MCU film.  It’s cute and lighthearted - and if you find Paul Rudd charming, I totally recommend it.  If you’re still on the MCU fence, though, there are other films I’d much rather recommend first. 

13. Captain America: Civil War

Captain America: The Epic Stucky Romance pt. 3 -- Steve Rogers breaks up with his current BF Tony Stark so to be with his one true love, Bucky Barnes... Meanwhile, Tony Stark finds out he’s a dad -- to a teenager. 

Okay, I’m kidding.  Here’s the thing... 

This film is hard to discuss.  Some people love it (me! - I love the characterization stuff we get in it, plus the deep nods to the comics, and the introduction of Spider-Man), others hate it (@ckerouac - this is not a Cap film, It’s Avengers 2.5.  I want my Cap film!!) and, much like the film itself, there are valid reasons for everyone’s point of view.  It does play a major part in the fabric of the MCU - so I do recommend seeing it at least once so to gather your own opinion. ;) 

14. Doctor Strange

Benedict Cumberbatch plays a mystical Tony Stark Doctor Strange.  I think it’s an interesting film - it’s kind of got an Inception/Matrix vibe about it, but I like both the character and Cumberbatch in the role.  However, I don’t think it’s anywhere near the strongest of the MCU films, so if any of that doesn’t interest you, then it’s okay to skip -- Doctor Strange’s appearances in other films are better if I’m being totally honest. 

15. Guardians of the Galaxy, Vol. 2

Guardians 2 is probably my second least favorite film of the bunch.  I think it kind of lacks the charm of the first one and amps up the 12yo humor.  But that’s just me.  If you really liked Guardians 1 check it out! Otherwise, feel free to move on. However, it does gain a few points for Baby Groot. 

16. Spider-Man: Homecoming

Let’s be real - This film is basically Tom Holland being a precious little muffin for two hours, and if you aren’t sold entirely on that premise, well then, I can’t help you. ;) 

17. Thor: Ragnarok

Underwhelmed by the first two Thor films? Thought the Hulk movie sucked? Well - welcome to Thor Ragnarok -- the film that just does not give a shit what came before it and does whatever the hell it wants because it’s like a 70′s acid trip.  And walks away being, perhaps, the best comedy in the MCU.  Everything is delightful about this film -- and if you wanted more from a Thor film, more Loki, more crazy antics with Mark Ruffalo - then you’ve come to the right place.  Also - bonus batshit crazy Cate Blanchett, Tessa Thompson as an amazing lesbian/bi (?) female warrior, and Jeff Goldblum -- Jeff Goldblum-ing.  

18. Black Panther

Chadwick Boseman is Black Panther - and I’m sure you’ve heard all the stuff swirling about how amazing this film is.  There are two things I personally really enjoy about the film -- the fact that it digs deeper than your average superhero film and is not afraid to tackle relevant questions we’re talking about in society right now, and the fact that the female cast in this one is fantastic and incredibly worth watching.  This one’s a definite must! 

19. Avengers: Infinity War

So...  I’m sure you’ve probably heard all about this one by now.  Here’s what I have to say about it -- I recommend seeing if after you’ve seen all the previous ones that you’ve wanted to see -- it does build on the others in a way a TV show builds to its finale.  And honestly, left me emotionally satisfied (knowing it was the first half of a two parter).  It’s a great film, imo, and worth it.  

20. Ant-Man and the Wasp

Ant-Man and Wasp is a lot like the first film, only ramped up a little more.  After the heaviness of Infinity War, it’s light and a treat.  It’s not entirely (or at all) essential, but it’s a lot of fun if that’s what you’re looking for.  

21. Captain Marvel

Okay, so Captain Marvel isn’t out yet - but the trailer looks delightful, I know who Cap Marvel is from the comics, and it’s time the MCU got its shit together and put a woman in the front.  I say go see it! Plus, I’m sure it’ll be relevant for the next Avengers film. 

22. Avengers: End Game

So, um, also not out yet - but if you’ve liked everything up until now, I’m sure you’ll not only go see - but cry buckets full <3 

23. Spider-Man Far From Home

Let’s be real - we’re all gonna need another two hours of Tom Holland being a precious little muffin after whatever Endgame throws at us.  ;) 

///

And that’s it! That’s the MCU in a nutshell (so far).  Marvel has, like, it’s next ten years planned out, so definitely not the end.  But - hey - if anything interests you - I really do recommend checking that out first and coming back to fill in things if you want to know more. :) 

Guide to Non-MCU Marvel Films Part 1 Guide to Non-MCU Marvel Films Part 2