#and spent a literally hour making my strange addiction jokes about pool inflatables
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Bro I'm so SAD
#i accidentally went to my saved snap stories and i only had one and its from 3 and half years ago#and it was when my and one of the friends hung out and i vividly remember that day it was so much fun#we were just saying absolute nonsense and talking about the dumbest shit and it was so much fun :((((#like my heart hurts man#i remember laughing so hard for hours and we just talked about like school and crushes and life plans and nothing in particular#and spent a literally hour making my strange addiction jokes about pool inflatables#it was so warm and nice that day and it was just so much fun :(((#we were so close man and then she got a bf and we were still tight but we kinda drifted bc i really didnt like him#and then senior year rolled around and we were a little farther apart bc we didnt have any classes together#but we still had lunch together a few times a week and we still saw each other on weekends cuz we rode together#and then second semester i didnt even know we shared a lunch period for 2 months bc she always ate with her bf#and he got mad when she didnt so i ate alone for a WHILE before we realized and then she would eat with me some days#honestly even with all that we were able to stay pretty close esp over the summer bc we had lessons together#so that was a solid hour of us just talking and having fun while we got ready and warmed up it was so nice :((#honestly the shift is my fault bc of that mental breakdown at her new years party but even then she was so chill about it#like she went back early with me and we hung out alone for another 2 hours and just *talked* and it was so so nice#and over the summer we took so many walks bc it was nice out and we just talked and talked and talked#and we hung out a few times over winter break and just talked and watched stupid videos and it was so fun :((#shes a friend ive had since i was 5 and i really really value her like even though shes changed she also hasnt#and its really nice idk :(( a lot of my friends from when i waa little feel like vastly different people but she doesn't#i love talking to her its silly and fun but we also have really long deep talks and rants and its nice idk its just NICE#like i was super nervous to see her after the new years fiasco but she never brought it up and idk i just really appreciate her :((#i feel awful that shes always the one reaching out to me im gonna make the effort to reach out to her more too#like i dont want to lose her as a friend n even though i dont always see why people would want to continue to he my friend#after hs she does and i shouldnt be the reason she stops wanting that bc im not making the effort#im not very good with words but my love language is so deeply quality time like i love spending time with people#and i love my friends and i think that with all the people ive drifted apart from bc we've changed losing her would be one of the biggest#blows if i thought about it#idk how close she considers us but shes within my very small inner circle so she means a lot to me#so i hope i dont lose her too :( that would hurt so bad like im thinking about it n just crying
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