#and sometimes i simply don't really have anything noteworthy to say...or don't want to get repetitive.....etc

[impactrueno]

i got so many unanswered asks goddamn. i'll try to answer some tomorrow. sorry if you end up seeing your ask being answered like two months later lmao

[putschki1969]

Hello Puts!

I don't think I have seen you share your thoughts about Keiko's latest single. I personally really enjoy this release and I am curious how you feel about it?

Ugh, yeah, you got me there🫣I've been uncharacteristically quiet about Keiko's 「夕闇のうた」. Quite frankly, I've just not had enough positive things to say to warrant a proper review😭. As most of you probably know, I do not get any pleasure from lingering on stuff I don't particularly like, I simply move on and prefer to focus on things I actually enjoy. But hey, since you asked, I might as well write up a few things that have been going through my mind.

Disclaimer: Needless to say, this is all just my personal opinion. I am by no means an expert on music or singing, I am just a fan who is very invested in my girls but due to having a very specific taste, not everything works for me but of course that doesn't mean that it won't work for anyone else.

Let's start with the single's A-Side 「夕闇のうた/Yūyami no Uta」. It's not like I hate the song or anything, objectively it's a decent track, I just can't really get into it. There are some songs and melodies that immediately resonate with me, others grow on me over time and then there are some I need to hear performed live to properly appreciate them. In this case, none of these options apply unfortunately. We got our very first snippet way back at the end of November and to be honest, that didn't do much for me which already kinda tempered my excitement. Ever since then the song has had time to marinate but I haven't been able to warm up to it. Even the live performance at last year's Kaji Fes didn't have a noteworthy effect on me. My last hope was hearing the full studio version but my reaction was once again rather lukewarm. The visuals of the PV helped a bit to get me into a good mood for the song but ultimately, I was pretty much underwhelmed. And the worst thing is, I struggle to pinpoint what exactly is bothering me about the song. One thing I am definitely not a fan of is the overly rushed and repetitive drum-beat in the verses, for some reason I feel like it clashes a bit with Keiko's singing and cheapens the overall vibe of the song but that could just be my personal impression. I prefer a good build-up to a chorus and I don't think we are getting it here. Speaking of the chorus, the structure of the chorus doesn't work for me or maybe it's the melody (lack thereof?) that doesn't appeal to me? Not sure exactly but it's not giving me what I would have liked. The first part starting with "inori" is pretty generic and then we get a sort of crescendo for "utau/fureru" which feels oddly out of place, especially when it transitions right into the scat singing. Maybe there is too much different stuff going on or it's all happening too fast but it doesn't have the impact on me which it probably should have. I am usually a big fan of Keiko's scat singing, I mean, her yay- yay-yay part in YK's "vanity" or Kalafina's "Door" regularly gives me an eargasm so why the hell does it leave me so unimpressed in "Yūyami no Uta"???!!! I guess it's more of a combination of the melodic arrangement and the accompanying scatting which makes songs like "vanity" or "Door" so much more epic for me....? As for the bridge, it's okay I suppose. In her interviews, Keiko has mentioned multiple times how her progress as a vocalist has made it possible to tackle all these high parts and that just a few years ago, Yuki Kajiura would have assigned Yuriko Kaida or one of her other chorus singers to sing those sections. Keiko's higher registers are a hit and miss for me, sometimes they work, other times not so much. Here she sounds perfectly fine and I fully understand why YK would feel confident to let Keiko handle this on her own. But again, the whole part is just meh and by now I am convinced that it is because the song doesn't have a sufficiently nice melody to provide a good base for Keiko's singing.

I want to continue with 「夕闇のうた Special Edit ver.」 because I honestly feel like we have been robbed of something really good here. Whoever decided to bypass this in favour of the normal version should really start questioning their life choices. I am not saying that this version is perfect (we don't even get all that much to form an opinion on it) but from what I hear, it is superior in many ways and would have worked better as an ending (edit: apparently, it has actually been used as ED on the 3rd ep). That gorgeous strings intro alone takes the song to a whole new level, making it so much more melodic. And the somewhat obtrusive drums feel way more toned down here since they are introduced at a later point of the song to create more of a proper build-up towards the chorus. The chorus itself is pretty much the same from what I can tell but I wonder what the bridge and the remainder of the verses would have sounded like in this style. The ending verse of the song also works a lot better for this special edit, wish they had included all of it starting from "itoshii" and then concluded it with another strings section.

Now all that's left to talk about is the single's B-Side, 「燈命/Tōmei」. This song is a big no-go for me so I'll keep it short. The composition, arrangement and lyrics were all done by Saku who has previously worked with Keiko on "Ray" (Lantana), "Sakura wo Goran" (dew) and "YOUR" (CUTLERY). He was only in charge of the arrangement for"Sakura wo Goran" but out of those three songs, "Tōmei" feels closest to this one in terms of vibe and overall blandness. I've come to enjoy "YOUR" quite a bit (even if I am not so happy with some of Keiko's higher notes) and "Ray" is decent too but my entire body outright rejects songs like "Sakura wo Goran" and "Tōmei". Sorry🙈I don't even know what else to say. I listened to it and immediately was like, nope, next one please.

Phew, this turned out longer than expected. I feel shabby for going on and on about all the stuff I didn't like but oh well, what's done is done. Moving on...

[goodlifewrites]

The Fic is Done...Now What

Any time you complete some sort of project, it's good to have a postgame assessment of things. The project is done and with that comes a sense of closure, except you still have all these thoughts and nowhere to put them. So I'm reactivating this blog just to get my thoughts on the end of this minor thing I did.

Writing the Potters and the Weasleys was difficult, not because of issues of writers block or anything like that. It was difficult because after the first few chapters, it simply became a chore to finish. I took nearly years long breaks at points just due to having little desire to open up the word document. Life was busy at times and slow at other points, but when it ebbed it wasn't as though I started banging out words. For me, it was all about the destination, not the journey. The journey sucked. It was like going antiquing in Maine with your parents when all you wanted was to get to the coast and see the whales finally.

I've noticed some of my favorite writers have similarly stopped updating fics they were working on or never bothering to start the long-awaited next installment. I wonder if its because life is getting in the way, they've run into a creative wall, or they've simply lost interest as I often have.

Outside approval certainly plays into it. We can all lie to ourselves that we write for just ourselves, but we also put it out to the public for consumption. There is indeed a little high you feel when someone praises something you created, warranted or not. But in my specific case, the kind reviews started at a high and then gradually slowed. By the time my fic concluded, it was a trickle. And that's on me for not consistently updating. If we go on the assumption that my story was good (which it might not be!), then it proves the point that quality alone does not lead to popularity. Consistent engagement is what drives views and the accolades that come with it. Surely if I was consistent here at least, I'd get more attention.

But we tell ourselves we don't write for attention, and that is probably true especially at the beginning. Yet we know its there and part of us wants it. Again, we publicly post these stories for a reason. So if I'm honest with myself, the ebbing of reviews must have played into my antipathy towards writing in some manner. I just want to be honest about that.

Writing fanfic is one of the least consequential things I've done in my life that still feels noteworthy and in need of reflection on. But it's not really a topic that has a natural avenue for spewing thoughts. This is the best we have.

Ideally, I'd like a conversation on my fic, where some people chime in with questions or comments like they often do for far more popular and accomplished writers. But absent that, I'll just post thoughts on different characters, themes, plotlines, etc as well as whether I plan on writing anything else (spoiler: likely no but i have ideas)

Lastly, I do want to thank everyone who stuck with the story and shared positive thoughts! I really was humbled (and sometimes the exact opposite) by people liking my writing. The best comments I got were people saying how well I got the characters, which was very important to me. Also, I must thank @thedistantdusk for being an awesome beta and soundboard. She's extremely busy yet still found the time to help me out. There are few fanfic authors who are genuinely strong writers who could carry a story without having the crutch of established characters and universes. Dusk is one of them.

So hope to chat more as I need continued validation!

[acourtofthought]

is it just me or does it sometimes seem like the way e/riels describe az is more in line with how lucien behaves.. and the way they describe elain is actually more like gwyn's personality (not saying that one is better than the other btw, all 4 characters are great) but the conclusions that are drawn seem to be mishmashed

I do agree with you!

And I get it, SJM has Feyre note how "polite" Az can be, that he has "manners", etc. But there could be a reason for that that I think some readers aren't paying attention to.

Is Az really polite? Or is Az polite because he's a spymaster and has observed human behavior and realizes how he's supposed to be acting around others? Because the second he's in certain situations or certain people aren't around, he becomes someone different. He's full of rage, aloof, starts fights, is defiant with Rhys and Feyre, etc.

That's not a true gentlemen.

And that's no shade to Az, his character is great and it's not like I'm saying being a gentlemen is the ultimate in MMC behaviors, especially in this SJM fae world where a majority of them are not consummate gentlemen.

But that is who Lucien is through and through. It doesn't matter that the mating bond instincts drive him to want to "eliminate" any threat to his mate, he still maintains his composure (versus Az who attacked Eris in a political meaning simply because he said something nasty about Mor). It doesn't matter that his father and Eris played parts in the death of Jesminda, he's never sought out revenge (versus Az who definitely sought it against his brothers). And if it's truly a gentleman they want, I think focusing on Az is focusing on the wrong character.

And with Elain, they draw her with daggers even though she's expressed zero interest in wanting anything to do with training or weapon handling and returned TT to Az without "looking back". We know cruelty bothers her yet they have her off on spy missions with Az which we know includes torturing people for information. We know Elain wants sunshine yet they constantly put her in Dusk so she's giving up her sunshine in order to be a better fit with Az.

But Gwyn, she has requested additional training on dagger handling. She prefers the moonlight and shadows. We don't know exactly what she'll think of Az's job (which includes torturing people) BUT, we know she didn't seem all that uncomfortable at having led the beast directly to the Illyrians in the Rite. Which is noteworthy when you compare it to Elain who immediately dropped her hands from the knife after stabbing the king and tried to deflect any acknowledgement of her role in killing him.

It's one thing to ship a couple but when you rearrange how they've been written in order to make them better make sense, I think that's telling.

[lazaruspiss]

i would actually love some nightwing recs from you

Aha! You activated my trap card <-(completely forgot how public they are with their nightwing obsession) (ps: i also talked nightwing recs here too <3 i simply love to talk about my baby boy)

My "area of expertise" is mainly Nightwing 1996, so that's where most of my recs come from. There was also Nightwing 1995, which was more of a test run for 96. I think it had 4 issues total? It's not bad, just not noteworthy either. I've been working on a big spreadsheet of info for 96, including trigger warnings, but im only like. 15 issues in. hashtag pain and suffering. Issue #1 already has a woman being threatened, I have it down as "attempted rape" in my list, and that kind of sets the tone for what you need to be able to handle to read everything in that series.

The biggest downside is that it's all pre Damian :( son boy i miss u and i wish u were in better comics. Tim is funny tho. The first arc in 96 is great scene setting, and Tim shows up in #6 to be a lil stinker :3. We establish Dick's goals, motivations, etc, as well as what the state of Blüdhaven is and who our main baddies are.

It's all a bit heartbreaking in retrospect. Dick fails. He wants to be more independent and remove himself from Bruce's shadow, Blockbuster is established as the big bad for him to bring to justice, and he wants to make things at least a little better for the people of Blüdhaven.

He ends up dragged back to Bruce by an invisible leash, he technically beats his main villain but only in the absolute worst way after losing everything (and continues to lose more after, losing things he didn't know he had), and Blüdhaven is destroyed.

Dick loses. It's a bad end. A tragedy even. And yet, because of the nature of comics like DC, his story continues. It continues in crossovers and fan service and whatever else might sell. His most personally meaningful story ended prematurely for fucking War Games. sorry I know I just complained about this but cmon.

There were some good storylines after that! But I'm still bothered by the fact that the Tarantula arc was cut off after like, 2 issues. Road to Nowhere (#94-95) really did go nowhere. But the concept was there and it had the potential to be a decent story about an abusive relationship.

Mobbed Up (#108-111), Renegade (#112-117), and Brothers in Blood (#118-122) are some of my favorite arcs, all post Blockbuster. But after those I kind of lost interest. Annual #2 also came out sometime after all those, and I can't stress enough that it is absolutely not worth reading. It was written an illustrated by men, reduces Babs and Kori to nothing more than romantic partners, and completely misrepresents older stories. They literally retell older Dick/Babs moments, but without anything that could make their relationship at all complex or questionable to the consumer. Dick saw her as a sister, but rather than use that as a sign of closeness and respect they cut out all reference to that entirely because god forbid relationships have any nuance nowadays. Annual #1 was alright. I think it came out in the first or second year of the 96 run, and it's a nice self contained murder mystery one shot that showcases Dick's workaholic habits, his want for a family, and his tendency to try and change himself to makes others happy. He also comes off as very accidentally arospec. There's a moment where he tries to get a woman to stay with him by saying things like "but I could learn to love you" and if that wasn't me everyday throughout my middle to high school years than I don't know what is.

Outside of 96, I wanna point out The Search for Ray Palmer: Red Rain. Which may not be a Nightwing story but is absolutely a Bruce & Dick story (with vampires!) I haven't actually read much of the original Red Rain because. Dick's not really in that one. The Ray Palmer spin off however has Dick hunting down his parents' killer: one vampire king, Bruce Wayne. If you find those posts about Dick initially being a vengeance hungry 8 year old interesting than this is about as close as actual comics get. In the main timeline, yeah, Dick wants revenge, but because he's 8 and really just going through it rather than being genuinely bloodthirsty he's very easily talked out of it. In the Red Rain universe there is no comfort. He's alone, and grief consumes him. Bruce killed his parents for that very purpose, because he wanted Dick to be consumed by grief and hopelessness like him. Getting Dick to be like him and getting Dick to be obsessed with him was kind of his entire goal from the moment he laid eyes on him. Bruce's main presence up until the end where he shows up is shown largely through Dick's hunt, through Dick's obsession. Bruce wanted them to be inseparable and he very much succeeded in the end. By the time Jason and crew cross paths with them it's already too late. Everything is as Bruce wanted it to be. So a yandere vampire brudick au, basically.

There's also Outsiders 2003, which I keep meaning to read but haven't quite gotten to. Dick leads another team, but Donna just died so he's even meaner and cagier than he usually is.

gah. i really wanna finish that nightwing spreadsheet. i'll probably post it once i finish the 1996 section, or at least get it caught up to where it stops before crossing over with war games.

i've made a lot of these but theyre just things that i eventually wanna read, the dick grayson one is really the only one with anything in it rn <-(one track mind. and that track is called blorbo)

[scentedcandlesandcookies]

So I was inspired by @mrpenguinpants (go check out their work I'm referring to below this paragraph) and wanted to do another genshin fic. The interactions here can be anything you want it to mean (besides qiqi ofc). Also this is very self indulgent.

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: Self hatred, self loathing, blood, depressing thoughts ig(?), momentary oblivion of you squint.

Also I'm on mobile so I'm so sorry for not being able to add a read more option!

Somehow you knew without knowing. You said things without needing to say it. A vessel of purity and wholeness. You had so much to give.

But how much was too much?

Qiqi called yours name on a rather sunny day. You were just about to head to Bubu Pharmacy when she ran up to them.

"Could you help me pick herbs? We always go together."

You knew what she meant in ways she couldn't convey. You were special to her, to everyone. You weren't aware of it though.

Knowing the worth of others was easier than knowing the worth of yourself.

"Of course, Qiqi, I'll always have time for you."

Qiqi loved your smile. It felt familiar. Qiqi saw you as an older sibling. She loved you in ways she couldn't express.

"I'm only good to be your ladder though! You know I'm not good with naming herbs!"

On a cooler day, Zhongli called you to have some tea with him. The both of you sat at a teashop watching the harbor through the open window.

The gentle breeze touched all uncovered parts of your skin. The smell of the sea dancing underneath your nose. The sunset painting a melancholic picture.

"The ocean looks sad today."

Zhongli looked at you rather confusedly. After promptly sipping his tea he responded.

"How can an ocean look sad? Something so old shouldn't be humanized."

The last sentence was more for himself than anything. You didn't know, but he sometimes loathed himself for all he'd done. He wondered if all the blood spilt was worth it.

You reminded him of Guizhong, so ready to see things in a new light without judgement. He often hears you sing to glaze lilies around Qingce.

"How could we forget what all the ancients did for us?"

A day after some much needed rain, you spotted Ganyu. Busy as ever, she was handling the unending work she often received. You decided to help out.

"Good morning, Ganyu. You seem to be someone who'd appreciate and extra pair of hands."

The joking atmosphere seemed to help lift the weight more than your hands. Ganyu giggled a bit.

"Some help would be much appreciated."

The rest of the day didn't feel like work. Ganyu felt the days of her childhood rushing back to her. Days without worry or work. Everything felt warmer, the sun began peeking its head out of the clouds.

"I'll do my best."

You visited Hu Tao on a gloomy day. The clouds were gray and it looked as if it was about to rain. You entered the doors of the funeral parlor with the permission of the ferrylady.

Unfortunately, Hu Tao wasn't feeling very Hu Tao that day. Walking into her office, she seemed lost in thought.

"Hu Tao?"

The gift of candies laud forgotten on the desk. You moved to place a hand on her shoulder. A gesture of your listening presence.

"They're just pranks, and I'm just trying to get business. Like everyone else, its just...different."

Pulling her in for a hug, just being a strong unbreakable pillar for her sake.

"They don't see all the things you do behind the scenes. That makes them immature, not you. I don't think they know why you do the things you do, and you know what? That's okay. You know what you're doing, and that's the best thing you could do. You're doing so well."

Liyue knew you so so well. An unbreakable pillar. A foundation that so many people needed.

What would happen if you ever crumbled? Well, that could never happen.

You visited Xiao on a rainy day. No heavy downpour, just a normal pitter-patter kind of rain.

You held a new dish in your hands, thinking that Xiao should try a new dish. Not to 'be more human' but to just try a different taste of life.

"Why are you still coming here? Its a long way from the harbor."

You simply smiled at the ground and put down the dish. Too afraid to sit on the railing, you opted for the floor.

"Being lonely isn't fun."

"As I thought, you're still so blind. Loneliness is my only company."

You laughed for a moment.

"Guess I should change my name to loneliness then."

You dared not to look at the mighty yaksha. You were just a pathetic human after all. Letting the dish sit in your lap, you outstretched your arms behind you.

"And you can't go around telling people they're blind! We all see things differently. You might think you need to spend eternity in loneliness, but we all crave to be loved or appreciated. Xiao, you're stuck with me."

You closed your eyes and turned towards Xiao, giving him a smile.

You felt the dish being taken from your lap and heard him sit next to you.

He began eating the warm soup.

Today was a bad day to go out. Heavy rain and a dark atmosphere. But you had commissions knocking against your income. You were preoccupied with something else though.

Everyone's busy. I really need some help but everyone's busy and I don't want to bother them.

You admired Qiqi for braving through her life as best as she could.

You admired Zhongli for his wise and comforting views on life.

You admired Ganyu's persistence in her work, but most importantly in herself.

You admired Hu Tao for being herself even when others shamed her for it.

You admired Xiao for living through such mundane life, day after day.

You wanted to be just like them, but you just couldn't do it on some days.

You wanted to hide. You wanted to bitch about your day. You wanted to give up. You wanted to hide yourself to avoid judgement. You wanted something different. Someone different.

Someone who wasn't you.

You never looked as good as everyone else. Your voice never sounded right. Your never seemed to be mentionable or noteworthy. And on some days you were okay with that.

Am I really going to be another grain of salt?

You trudged through the thick mud, ignoring the blisters on your feet. The rain seemed to taunt you as it settled in your clothes, your bones.

All you could taste was steel. You couldn't remember the last meal you ate. You felt so tired. You wanted to just stop everything.

But how could you? How could you when everyone else went on? It was just one last commission. They all have so much on their plate, you couldn't burden them anymore.

But your lungs burnt, you couldn't feel your fingers on your right hand. Where was your weapon? When did you lose your bag?

Why were your eyes so blurry? Everything sounded so loud. You just wanted to sleep. You were tired. You were trying so hard.

Why was it so fucking hard?

Why couldn't you do it? Why were you always so unsure? Why didn't you work as well as the others? Your feet moved by themselves. They weren't going fast enough. Your body wasn't good enough.

You're not enough.

You think you're at your destination. You don't know. Everything feels so unclear. Everything feels wrong.

Then there was warmth on your back. It was so warm, so comforting. It finally lulled you to sleep.

The millileth pulled the mitachurl's firey axe from the back of your corpse.

You were confused when you woke up. A girl with brown hair and a hat was frantically calling someone. You were in a lobby of sorts. There were others talking about people who left. They didn't look like people. They were see through.

See through just like you.

"Aiya! Why aren't you listening to me you idiot! You scared us! What happened?"

The girl seemed to be the only normal person here. Suddenly you felt like you've been ripped from that foggy place.

People were calling the same person's name again. Over and over. You were just trying to continue sleeping when you were violently shaken.

"Hey! Whats your problem!"

You shook the person off of you. A young man with a green tattoo and dark hair. A taller man with amber eyes and brown hair. A woman with horns and silky looking blue hair. That girl from before who wore the hat. A small girl with light purple hair and had a talisman on her hat.

"You're alive! Thank the archons! We were so worried when we heard the news! " The lady with the horns looked as if she was about to cry. You felt bad but the tension was awkward.

"I'm sorry, but I don't know who you are."

Ty for reading! Leave a like and a comment if you enjoyed it! I hope some of yall picked up the hidden meanings hehehe~

Part two here:

[hot-wiings]

The One Where Tetsuro Drags Kenma To The Mall, And He Unsuspectingly Falls In Love.

Edited: 2-19-2021

Tetsuro Kuroo briskly walked through the busy halls of the mall with Kenma Kozume following behind him begrudgingly. He had his play station portable, PSP if you will, in his hand. He was only half paying attention to the walkway and where Tetsuro was heading. Tetsuro was a little bemused watching how Kenma was able to follow him and watching out for bumping into strangers.

"Can we go to the game store yet?"

Kenma had not intended or planned on being dragged to the mall by his best friend. Sometimes Tetsuro just didn't like going places alone, even if the said place was just the shoe store at the mall for some new volleyball sneakers. At least Tetsuro had the decency to bribe him with a free videogame.

"Yeah, sure."

Kenma was ecstatic as he saved the game on his PSP, turned it off, and carefully placed it in his backpack. He had been waiting so long to finally go into the videogame store, Tetsuro had taken over an entire hour picking out new volleyball shoes.

"Finally. I think you're the only person who spends over an hour looking for shoes."

"Hey! The right kind of shoes could be the winning factor to our games."

Kenma made his way directly to the game store with Tetsuro following behind him. Kenma made his way over to the PlayStation section, however, as he looked across the store and saw the woman running the register he bolted. Blood rushed to Kenma's cheeks as he quickly grabbed onto Tetsuro's jacket and pulled him into the X-Box section.

"What are you...? Why are we in this section? You hate X-Box users, you said they were inferior and made fun of me for almost buying one."

"The console, not the user, and because they are! I just... Do you believe in love at first sight?"

"Well, technically speaking it takes six months to fall in love... But I guess sometimes there can be exceptions."

The blush on Kenma's cheek was an evergrowing pink, quickly transitioning to a deep shade of red. He slightly poked his head out of the aisle in a discreet way as to not let you see him. It made him think of the game Call Of Duty and War Hawk, where he'd poke his body out slightly that enabled him to shoot without being shot at.

"I think I'm in love."

"With who? Her?"

Tetsuro poked his head out and Kenma quickly grasped onto his shirt and yanked him back in.

"You can't just look at her, she might come over here and she cannot come over here."

"Why not? You could get her number."

"I can't talk to her okay? I come in here all the time, and every time I see her at the checkout I get nervous, and barely any words come out."

Tetsuro patted Kenma on his back and scanned the shelf for a videogame that looked noteworthy.

"Don't worry about talking, I'm gonna get you her number then you can take it at your own pace."

"No, wait-"

"Don't worry, I got this."

Not an X-Box game, Kenma wanted to say. Not Paladins, Kenma desperately wanted to say, but it was too late. Tetsuro was walking away with the game in his hand towards the cash register and placing it on the counter, all Kenma could do was hide in the aisle with anxious anticipation.

"Hi."

"Hello, will that be all for you today?"

"Yup."

You raised your eyebrows in silent judgment as you scanned the videogame. Kenma supposed it really wasn't Tetsuro's fault for making the mistake. He didn't play videogames as Kenma did, his eyes weren't likely to spot the OverWatch hoodie you were wearing, Paladin's superior rival game, or the fact that you were wearing the PlayStation insignia on a bracelet over your wrist. Evidently, whatever Tetsuro said to you, Kenma knew you were going to shoot down.

"So, my friend back there couldn't help but notice you, but he's too shy to ask you for your number, so I was wondering if I could have your number to share with him."

You let out a nervous laugh as you lifted your eyes from the register screen to the area behind him, there was no one. You would have liked to say that you were the type of person that didn't disassociate yourself from or have a prejudice against people based on their likes and dislikes, but the fact that this guy had obvious poor taste in videogames and consoles accompanied by the fact he obviously had no friend left you feeling uneasy.

"Right, for your 'friend'. I don't feel very comfortable giving out my number, sorry."

Would the slew of pervy gamer guys never cease to exist? Every day a new guy was in here ready to hit on you.

"My friend is so sweet, I promise! He plays videogames and he's an athlete!"

This guy was getting creepier and creepier by the minute. You took Tetsuro's card from him and swiped it along with the machine with haste, hoping silently that the card wasn't declined and he would leave.

"I'm not allowed to serve out my number for personal gain. Corporate policy, sorry."

You rushed your words out politely hoping to both deter him from asking again and to lessen your chances of coming across as rude. You thrust his card forward, quickly folded his receipt in half, placed it on a bag with the video game, and pushed it forward on the counter with a beaming smile.

"Have a nice day and come again."

Please don't.

Defeated but not hopeless, Tetsuro went back to the X-Box aisle to return to Kenma who was reeling in second-hand embarrassment over how bad that went. You watched with wary eyes as your newest creepy customer returned to the gaming aisles despite having just paid. You left your head resting on the work phone that was clipped to your belt, you'd be shocked at the number of guys that came and harassed you simply for being a girl that worked in the videogame store. Perverts and misogynists were a pain, you could never be too careful.

"That went horrible."

"You grabbed an X-Box game, and you could've grabbed OverWatch at least, not Paladins. Anything but Paladins. Let's go home."

Kenma didn't even want to inform his friend how weird and sketchy he was acting when he talked to you.

"Nope! Time for plan B."

Tetsuro grabbed Kenma's arm and dragged him over to the PlayStation section, unbeknownst to your watchful eyes. You felt a little sheepishly embarrassed watching him pull his friend to the PlayStation section. You had seen the little blonde boy come in a lot, enough to know what kind of games and consoles he liked, yet you hadn't noticed them come in together or even seen another guy in the X-Box section, truthfully, you thought the dark-haired guy was another pervy boy trying to hit on you for being a girl in gamer apparel.

"You're going to take my game and get my money back, and then buy OverWatch. Now I want you to repeat after me. 'I need to return this. By the way, I think you're cool, do you want to hang out sometime?'. Apparently, it's against corporate rules to hand out her number."

"Okay, okay. I got this. 'I need to return this. By the way, I think you're uh, cool. Do you wanna hang out."

Tetsuro pushed Kenma out of the PlayStation aisle and he slowly walked to the counter, the blush on his cheeks still raging as he gripped the bag tightly. He put it on the counter and tried to take a deep breath before he talked.

"I need to return this for my friend and buy this."

"Your friend not a fan of Paladins?"

He didn't want to stray from the script that Tetsuro had given him, but man did Paladins aggravate him. It was a complete rip-off of OverWatch.

"No, it's, um, it's a rip-off of OverWatch honestly, and I-We prefer PlayStation games."

"I know- God, that sounded creepy. It's just that you're in here a lot."

Kenma let out a small laugh as you scanned the game. You felt embarrassed for letting on to the fact that he had left an impression on you. It wasn't like you were a creep, you just took notice when customers came in regularly, especially when they bought the games that you personally played. Kenma handed you Tetsuro's debit card and you swiped it to both return the original and buy the new one.

"So, uhm, I am in here a lot, and I've noticed you wear a lot of videogame apparel, and I think you're kinda cool, I was wondering if you wanted to hang out sometime?"

"I'll do you one better, here's my phone number."

You scrawled your number down on the receipt and put it in the bag with the OverWatch game before you slid it over to Kenma with a smile. You leaned in close, whispered to him, and he swore his heart stopped beating as you stared into his eyes.

"Just, god this is so embarrassing. Can you preferably don't tell your friend I gave you my number...? I don't mean to offend, but he was actin' weird and kinda creeped me out, and I told him it was against corporate policy to get him to leave me alone."

[hasgudagudadoneanythingwrong]

Behind the Curtains: An Announcement

So, something that we've been sitting on the fence about for a while, is whether or not to pull back all the curtains on how this blog is run. It's been a source of a lot of stress lately due to not knowing how well it'd be taken or if that kind of change would even be worth it in the first place, but I don't quite think we can continue to keep sidestepping it any longer.

Basically, for starters, our pin has included for a while at the bottom a blurb about this blog being "Run by the Prisms Collective, a plural system with a considerable number of Fate introjects." There's a handy link included too, being morethanone, that gives a good summary explanation of it as well. The TL;DR of it though, is we got more than one person sharing the same brain, called a plural system, that contains a bunch of headmates.

It hasn't come up much since most times it can just be left ambiguous, but basically, the host of this system is me Az, and everyone else either doesn't front often enough individually to make a noteworthy appearance, or, well...

There's not much elaboration on what an introject is, either in the pinned or the link, and to put simply: An introject is (typically) the result of a brain shortcutting the whole "make a new headmate" process by taking a template framework and copy/pasting the actual details from somewhere else. Those details can come from just about anywhere. Including fictional media.

That is to say, all the Servants you see here on this blog? The reason we've been able to write them so realistically, is because, well, they are real in a sense. A copy/pasted, canon-divergent, stuck-in-a-human-body type of real, but still real people nonetheless, who are capable of growth, development, self-awareness, the whole deal.

That's why the cast size is so small, why the plot doesn't exist, why a lot of details don't line up with canon, why so much development happens off-screen, why Servants sometimes refer to their 'canon-selves,' why some posts ambiguously continue the dialogue into the comic description, why sometimes we comment on or reblog jokes about knowing these people in real life... It's the driving force behind just about everything on this blog, really.

While we haven't made too much of an attempt to hide this per se, we've been really hesitant about being explicitly open about it, because we know it changes a lot about how people see us, and not always for the better. We'd be lying if we said we didn't enjoy all the enthusiastic attention we get sometimes that are only really possible when people aren't so worried about stepping on any toes. But, even with steel-toed boots, we'd be lying too if we said it wasn't a bit exhausting keeping everything under wraps all the time.

So, no need to apologize for anything, or tread lightly, or whatever. We didn't become an ask blog for everyone to be too afraid to ask anything, after all. We just, want to be more open going forward, to the point where even risking the relationships we have now is worth it if it means we can be seen for who we actually are, instead.

Keep sending in all the asks you want, we still love answering and chatting with you all. Just know you're talking to exactly who you see here, not a simulated response.