#and sometimes i have a hypothetical reader in my head asking this and im like uhoh have i justified it enough? which feels weird af lol

[ellatholmes]

"uh, does this character really need to swear?" fuck yeah she does. next

[gotham-daydreams]

i had a really random idea that activated a neuron in my head and wanted to share here if that's ok— neglected!reader and friend!reader crossover. increased angst potentials, increased relationship struggles.

idk if it's just me, but the cold knowledge and sudden realization that your family was only ever interacting with you to use you as a means of getting close to their original target (who i will be assuming is a friend of yours)? you should be feeling glad that they're finally, *finally* interacting with you, but it just makes you feel more sick. they talk to you, but never want to talk about *you,* if that makes sense, always their target. half-hearted attempts to try and be more discreet, but you can tell they really just want to probe out info about your friend from you. perhaps this even cements your belief that "oh. they're never going to care for me the way i used to care for them."?? im sick i will explode and become atoms for this hypothetical reader's sake. leaving them, and the family realization that in their own selfish goals, they lost something more valuable. only makes sense for them to get it back.

but perhaps it can also be them originally them trying to again, use you as a bridge between said target, only to become more obsessed with you somewhere down the line of continuous interactions. idk lots of thoughts here i am happy big and mentally normal about these giant group of costumed losers !!

I am in love with this idea... especially because you can do it both ways (with the reader either being a part of the fam, or just a 'friend' of one of the Batfam members that they kinda forgot about until now)!

I'll go into Acquaintance! Reader later, so for now I'll focus more on this other neglected sib reader :]

Can you imagine how absolutely heartbreaking finding out that they're just talking with you to get something out of you, at first? Like, okay, maybe reader is suspicious at first, of course, because why the hell is the family starting to acknowledge their existence now? Was it something they did? Something that caught the family's attention? Etc., etc., but the point is that maybe with a little effort and too little time, they begin to have a little hope. They began to think that the family actually cares about them now.

Like yeah, sure, they kind of dismiss their questions when the reader tries to bring up the changes and why things couldn't be like this before, and have an odd habit of giving short answers and moving onto other topics concerning their friend when the reader, again, tries to press even a little bit more for answers or responses, but that's just how it is, right?

It's nothing personal... the reader knows that, and even if it hurts sometimes, it's nothing to worry about, right? Besides, they wanted this... didn't they? They wanted to be noticed, to finally have the family's attention, to have something and they're finally getting that! They should be happy, grateful even... and they are! But... is it so selfish to want more? To want the family and some of their siblings to even be a little interested in the things they do? Instead of just asking about their friend all the time?

Maybe the reader even gets a little jealous, envious, even, as this goes on but I can see them being content with little. Ultimately a little scared to ruin a good thing, and to ruin this for themselves... even if it definitely doesn't feel as good as they had hoped it would be oh so long ago.

... And then, they figure out the truth. Either from overhearing some members of the family talking about it, other friend of theirs points it out/puts that idea into their head, or they just... notice it. Hell, all three of those things could happen - with the reader knowing on some subconscious level that things aren't as they seem and that the family is definitely trying to get something out of them (a thought they had at first, that didn't fully go away), and another friend of theirs (that the fam isn't going crazy over) sort of points out that it looks like the batfam is just using them to get to whoever (and maybe the reader dismisses it at first, but that moment only further plants that idea into their head), and the reader keeps noticing all of these little things from that moment and onward... only for everything to come crumbling down once they finally overhear that conversation.

Once they hear some of the members discussing what they should ask the reader, how they should go about it, and hell - maybe for the irony of it all, maybe even joking about the reader finding out about their little 'ploy'. Even going so far as to laugh and say how the reader will never find out because they're too stupid, too desperate to even really entertain the idea to its fullest. How even if they do think so... well, they can just string poor little reader along and distinguish the idea before it even becomes a problem. How they could use that to just further rope the reader in, and make them feel guilty until they forget all about the very idea of the family just using them... further securing themselves to be one of - if not the only - closest people to the reader, and therefore, much closer to their fixation.

It's... more than just heartbreaking for the reader, but not quite world shattering either. It's some odd in between feeling that hurts all the same. They knew, sure, and they always had the suspicion- but it fucking hurts.

Somehow, knowing hurts more in that moment - just the reader knowing and having their suspicions confirmed hurts worse than anything they've ever felt. It doesn't quite feel like betrayal, or maybe it does - they aren't sure, but at the same time that description doesn't feel quite right. Though that's because they feel partially at fault. Like they did this to themselves, and they do feel guilty, but for only putting themself through this.

They should've known better. They should've listened to their gut. They should've never let this happen- they are at fault as much as the family is...

But can they fully blame themself? They got a glimpse of what it was like to be part of the family. A glimpse into the life they always wanted... could they really blame themself for taking that chance when they saw it? For trying to seize that opportunity even if it was never really there? Could they blame themselves for trying to look past all the signs, because they too wanted something out of it? Because they just wanted to be part of the family that badly, even if it was all a lie?

It hurts, and the reader leaves quietly. They don't burst into the room and confront everyone - no, they just walk away. Too consumed in their own grief and feelings to do much else besides that. I imagine that they don't even make it to their room, and hell, maybe one of the other Batfam members find them, but just looking at them makes the reader cry harder.

If they literally run away from the person, or not, is really up to interpretation at the moment, but either way they manage to find some alone time to themselves, and just... let it all out. The reader, in that moment, allows themself to grieve over the lose of a family they never had, and after all is said and done, I can imagine that they try to distance themselves- but are smart in how they do so.

The reader tries to get the family closer to their friend, while also limiting the amount of the the reader is actually around both the friend and the family. Basically just trying to put everyone in a position where they don't need a middleman - where the reader doesn't have to be involved anymore, and basically just... giving the reader an opportunity to truly distance themself from the family.

Sure, the reader might still try to hang out with the family's current fixation, but I can see them be willing to sacrifice time with that person just to further get away. It hurts to do it, and they don't want to, but they figure that, with enough time, once the family chills the fuck out, they'll hopefully be able to sort of go back to how things were. If not? Then... well, they'll just have to learn how to live with that, and they hope that their friend can forgive them.

Don't get me wrong, I could totally see the reader trying to find ways to get their friend out of the position, but the batfam is one tricky foe.. so they settle for what they can, but maybe they're still trying to do what they can. (Or maybe they think that this is the best course of action since... well, maybe they overheard some other talks afterwards? Who knows)

It could also be that, through the reader's attempt to leave, and them trying to eliminate themself from the equation entirely could be a huge turning point for the Batfam in terms of them turning yandere (aka, if they weren't yan before, they definitely are now. and those that are, are even worse than before). A real "you don't know what you had until it's gone" kinda deal, and it's gotta be hilarious to see the fam just scramble for something, and to kind of 'catch' the reader until they're truly gone... which, to add to the humor- the reader is probably already trying to move out of Gotham by that time LMAO

[nats-revival]

𝙚𝙡 𝙦𝙪𝙚 𝙣𝙤 𝙖𝙧𝙧𝙞𝙚𝙨𝙜𝙖, 𝙣𝙤 𝙜𝙖𝙣𝙖 | 𝙚. 𝙬𝙞𝙡𝙡𝙞𝙖𝙢𝙨

pairing: ex-jailbird!ellie williams x ex-jailbird!afab!reader

tags: angsty, ellie is an asshole, between past and present (indicated with dates), ellie has issues, pet names (baby), description of violence, mild language, drug use, one use of y/n (i had to im SAWREE!!), idk what trope this is, but it’s certainly something, good ending, but i HATE it ugh, lowk wanna make an alt ending, but i might not. 🤷🏽‍♀️

a/n: the word ‘jailbird’ being used in this context is lowk cringey but who cares? ive been on a roll lately!!! (i still have reqs to finish) ellie fic speed run r smth idk. tbf, this is the longest fic ive written in a while. i considered making this like a series or something but i never finish those so.. ig this is like a rlly big fat oneshot??? idk.

p.s: for my pookie @sweetysaccharine who also got a sneak peek hehe. 🤭🤭

𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 | 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝟷𝟽𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟷

you stand infront of a burning car on a hill in the middle of the desert at nighttime. you and ellie had just stolen $20 thousand worth of diamonds at some high end store in the city where only the most wealthy of people live, and now you were destroying the evidence, burning your costumes and leaving the diamonds out for the coyotes. “ellie, i won’t wanna do this anymore.” she looks at you through the blazing fire with a slightly raised eyebrow. “do.. what?” she asks as she pushes her hands into her pockets. “commit crimes. i want to have a normal life. im tired of this. you’re always making me do crazy shit.” you explain, exaggerating a bit with your hands. “were felons, baby. there is no normal for us. you chose this life. but sure. let’s say hypothetically, you get this ‘normal life’. where will you work? at a grocery store?” “i don’t know.” “exactly. that’s the beauty of it all. we don’t know what comes next. we don’t know if the police will come after us again, do we?” “well.. no—“ “exactly. go out and buy some more fruit.” she begins walking off, leaving the burning car behind. “we don’t need anything else, ive already got what we need.” you say as you begin walking off into the opposite direction. sand crunches underneath your feet as you walk off, hood over your head and the nights cool wind brushing against the bits of exposed skin on your body.

𝙰𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗, 𝚃𝚇 | 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟾𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟽 what were the odds of two felons who hate each others guts working together after escaping together? highly unlikely. but it was your reality. let’s start from the beginning, shall we? ellie had gotten.. waaay too many years to even count. she was charged with identity theft, armed assault, two counts of homicide, and possession of illegal firearms. what were you charged with? accessory to a robbery, armed robbery and you’d also had a few DUI’s. was how many years you’d gotten even mattered now? it didn’t. you were free. and freedom smelled great. but sometimes? freedom sucks. ellie was crazy. she was batshit crazy. she was the one who helped you escape prison. she knows a lot of people. like, a scary amount of people. lawyers, drug dealers, private doctors, the whole nine yards. how’d you escape? simple.

“the other girls are gonna start a riot. cause i told em to. you’re gonna sneak into the break room. there’s a window a few inches up from the floor. break the window and—“ she explained, making sure to keep her voice down. you were a bit wary of her little ‘plan’. “wait, won’t that set the alarm off?” you ask with a raised eyebrow. “lemme ask you a question. whats more worth it — freedom or a goddamn alarm?” “.. im guessing you want me to say freedom?” she nods, then patting your shoulder approvingly. “back to what i was saying, after you’ve broken the window, there’s someone waiting for you on the other side. the security cameras should be busted by then. ill follow you.” her confidence in her plans certainly amazed you. “don’t screw this up.” “i won’t.” “good. now.. why don’t you go read a book?” she suggested before walking off. she was strange, like really strange. sometimes ellie tended to say things that didn’t really make any sense. it was also a rumour that ellie had hallucinations. she’d just sit up in the middle of the night and talk to.. nobody, or she’d stare into the mirror talking to seemingly nobody. was that maybe why she’d been so crazy? because she was fighting her own demons? you didn’t know. the riot began. you heard them in the lunch room banging their trays against the metal tables, yelling at the prison guards and attacking some. you run away into the break room. there were metal bars against the windows. “how the hell am i gonna remove this?” you mumble to yourself as you look around. you search under tables like a madwoman, even searching the pockets of the coats suspended from the metal coat rack.

you heard angels sing once you find a toolbox hidden away underneath a bench. you look at the screws. you needed a flat looking screwdriver. you search the toolbox for one that loosely resembles the screws and you hurry to the window with a chair. standing on the chair, you quickly unscrew the screws and you pull the bars from the window. with the metal bars in hand, you smash the window, all the little glass pieces flying everywhere as the prison alarms go off simultaneously. you look back at the door to the break room. ellie would come, she valued her freedom more than anything in this world.

and with all the uncertainty in your body, you followed through. you jumped down into the parking lot while the alarms ring all throughout the prison. there had been someone else on the other side. a woman with curly hair and tan skin, driving some beat up blue honda. she was pretty. “cmon, hurry and get in. we’re gonna floor it as soon as ellie gets here.” she said, relatively calm as if she’d done this before. you hop into the backseat of her car anxiously. your leg shakes and you bite your nails. looking around at the security cameras, you found that they were, in fact not busted. “that goddamn liar!” she exclaimed as you hit your hands against your thighs. “you’re an idiot for trusting her. ellie never holds her word. she said she’d pay me back a year ago. she owes me $14,000 that she still won’t pay back.” the woman says as she looks at you through the mirror above her. you didn’t trust her. nobody did. but she was a good convincing person and an even better liar. while you were sitting in the back of the car, you recalled all the times she’d attempted to kill you. she gave you concussions, she stabbed you with makeshift knives, she got her minions to beat you half to death. what had you done in retaliation? well, you stabbed her, hung her from a bathroom stall with your sheets, wounded her badly and proceeded to shoot air into the major vein until her heart almost exploded out of her chest. the two have you had gone tit for tat for a while. but is it really an appropriate time to reminisce on old memories? not at all.

the sound of her shoes hitting the ground caught your attention. you look over and see her running towards the car, hopping in her front seat and slamming the door shut. “cmon, drive dina! step on it!” she demanded as she hits her hands against the dashboard. the woman, dina, steps on the gas. the gates of the prison had been closing slowly, leaving just enough room for the car to slither out. ellie cheers to herself. why was she cheering? ellie suddenly turns to you. “we have to get out of texas. dina here is gonna take us halfway to.. somewhere. ive already arranged a place for us to stay. if you screw up? ill strangle you with the hem of your shirt.” her tone falters between the lines of something serious and something a little playful. what was this? why were you doing this with her? you’d been royally screwed now if you weren’t before.

𝙰𝚞𝚜𝚝𝚒𝚗, 𝚃𝚇 | 𝙼𝚊𝚢 𝟾𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟷𝟽

you drove for hours on end while ellie sat in the front, blabbering about seemingly nothing. she sat in the front, smoking weed and changing the radio station until she settled on some sorta rock station. “ellie, do you realize how much you owe to me?” dina asks seriously as she takes the two of you through some sort of desert. “mm.. how much?” “14k. you owe me big time, ellie.” ellie laughs. she turns to you, whites of her eyes turning a light red colour. “can you believe her? me? owing her 14k? that’s insane.” she sat there laughing to herself. dinas iron clad grip on the steering wheel told you what you needed to know. she was fed up with ellies shit.

dina stops the car abruptly on the side of the sandy road. she turns to ellie with a face full of fury. “yknow, ive offered you enough. i said you can pay in installments. you didn’t pay. i gave you time. you still won’t pay. now im being complicit in your fucking prison break!” dina exclaimed. ellies laughing almost instantly stopped as dina raised her voice. “you don’t seem to understand how this works. i don’t owe anyone anything. the way ive paid you back was giving you a good fuck like you asked.” “ellie, i was as high as a kite when i said that! jesus christ, you really don’t listen do you?” you don’t intervene even though ellie is looking for you to do so. something you learned was to never fight battles that weren’t yours. this was between them.

they argued. a lot. going back and forth while ellie took super long drags of the joint between her fingers. dinas car reeks of the smell of weed. ellie wouldn’t take anything seriously until dina raises her hand to smack the daylights out of her. a ringing sound resonates throughout ellies ears as she looks at dina in shock. “why the fuck would you slap me?” “i.. i don’t know.” dina was shocked and you were equally as shocked. ellie opens the car door and she gets out. “get out the car.” she says to you, opening your door. “what, but we’re in the middle of the—“ “get out the fucking car!” ellie yells. you get out. “thanks for nothing. don’t call me again when your boyfriend can’t make you cum!” ellie yells at dina, flipping her off before grabbing you by the wrist and dragging you off into the sunset. you look back at dina and you see her with a look of shock on her face. as if now she regrets what she’d done.

𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 | 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝟷𝟾𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟷 after that day, dina hadn’t come around anymore. maybe because she was under investigation for helping you and ellie escape prison. you and ellie lived in a rv and it was pretty peaceful. she chilled on trying to kill you for a while. you sat outside in a beach chair, looking at the sunrise with a cup of tea.

she joins you, sitting in the chair right next to yours. she was smoking a cigarette. “i wanna do something with you. before that ‘normal life’ you want.” she said as she looked at you. “one last heist.” she exhales the smoke, the smell of tobacco entering your nose. “a heist? ellie, you know we can’t do that anymore. the police have our photos.. and fingerprints.” “they’ve had our photos and prints since 2017, baby.” those goddamn pet names that rolled off of her tongue made you a little weak in the knees. you hated her but you couldn’t hate her voice. “ellie, this isn’t a good idea. we need to think about this. the last time you tried to pull off a heist, you almost got arrested.” you tried to be the voice of reason in this ‘relationship’ (or lack therefore of.) “i hate doing this, ellie. i want a normal life. i wanna go home.” your voice was sad. “and what happens if you go back home? your parents will be happy to see you, naturally. someone could betray you. your mother, your brother. anyone.” her words hang in the air as she looks at you. she puts her cigarette out in the makeshift ashtray that sat on a small wooden table. “what do i always tell you?” you thought about it for a moment. ellie had lots of weird sayings. so you take a guess. “hate is the worlds strongest motivator?” she nods her head. “and what else?” “the person who doesn’t risk, cannot win? but quick question— what does that have to do with anything?” she gets up and she stands in front of you. she squats down to your eye level.

“you’re either one of two things in life. a fox or a rabbit. the fox will hunt the rabbit and won’t back down till it gets what it wants. the rabbit will run for its life so the fox doesn’t let the fox get it. who would you wanna be in life?” ellie had a strange way of looking at life. maybe when you’ve been locked up for so long, attempted to escape so many times and had some mental issues, your outlook on life changes drastically. her analogies always made you wonder how she’d even been able to look at life this way. when you don’t answer her question, she answers for you. “a fox. you wanna be a fox. right now? you’re being a rabbit. tighten the fuck up.” her hands give your thighs a few slaps as she spoke. they were a bit hard but not hard enough to leave marks. after your little talk, she goes back into the rv.

you’re sat there with a racing mind and a swell of emotions. the once warm tea had gone cold. whatever she’d been planning to do on this heist must’ve boosted her head up enough to the point where she could go around, telling people to tighten the fuck up. you resented her heavily. ellie wasn’t a hard person to hate. well, maybe a better word is loathe. she was a terrible person with no moral compass. she didn’t care about anyone else but herself. and maybe she’d been going through things on her own, but she had multiple options to get help. she lived knowing that she’d survive, and only would be at the top of the food chain. as if.

𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 | 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝟷𝟾𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟷

ellie still wanted your help. she tried everything to convince you. a share of her earnings. a 60/40 share (you having 60%, leaving the other 40% to her.) but you don’t budge. she needed to think, her brain wasn’t functioning well at finding a different approach. maybe she could just let you go with that ‘normal life’ you’ve always wanted. but this wasn’t something she could just easily do alone. it was much bigger than that. and she also couldn’t threaten you cause then you’d definitely run away. ellie couldn’t remember the last time she’d been kind to someone. she’d been met with a harsh response to anything she’d ever done in life, so she projected her issues onto other people. maybe it wasn’t the best coping mechanism, but she felt like she had nothing to lose.

she approaches you slowly. “we should talk.” she mumbled. “about.. what?” you ask. “the heist.” “ellie, no—“ “just hear me out please.” she takes a breath before she starts talking. “i swear we won’t get caught. and if we do miraculously, ill take the blame. you can say i kidnapped you or something.” “why are you do adamant about doing this? do you even have a reason?” ellie slowly shakes her head. she sits next to you. her hands fall in her lap as she twiddled with her fingers. “yknow, i don’t really know. i just get these urges to do these things that don’t really make sense.” her tone was genuine, but you werent sure. ellie had a tendency to guilt trip you into doing things that you really didn’t wanna do all because you were the only person she had left and nobody else would do this for her. of course you knew what she was going through, albeit you didn’t understand on a personal level as she had because she was living with this everyday.

you saw all her pill bottles — some SSRI’s, something for her hallucinations, and some other stuff with scratched off labels. “ellie, i really hope you’re not trying to guilt trip me into doing this heist with you.” a part of you was fed up with her shit, just like dina had been. but another part of you wanted to be there for her (even though she didn’t open up), and you also like liked her a little. not too much. “of course this isn’t me guilt tripping you. in fact, you don’t even have to worry about it.” she turns to you and she smiles. it felt weird seeing her smile. with all that serotonin she got from the SSRI’s, she didn’t really ever smile. you didn’t put too much thought into it. you just hoped she wouldn’t do anything impulsive.

𝚕𝚘𝚌𝚊𝚝𝚒𝚘𝚗 𝚞𝚗𝚔𝚗𝚘𝚠𝚗 | 𝙹𝚞𝚗𝚎 𝟷𝟿𝚝𝚑, 𝟸𝟶𝟸𝟷

ellie was up early the next morning. it was six something. she was pacing around outside while she was biting her nails. she was nervous or anxious about something. sometimes you wished you you’d be in ellies brain when she was being like this or being way too brief with her explanations when there was clearly something up with her.

what was she thinking about now? well, you. she was thinking about you. how long you’d put up with her, how long you’d live. stuff like that. there’s only one certainty in life — death. everyone inevitably dies one day even though they may not wanna. ellie planned on dying on her own terms. something else ellie thinks about often was her life before all this. she couldn’t remember the last time she’d seen her dad. she missed him. she also missed dina. ellie had dated a few people in the past, some girl named cat and dina. they didn’t end up really working out together because of ellies impulsive nature, but they stayed friends until.. the incident when dina slapped ellie.

in her own way, ellie wanted her old life back as did you. she wanted to wake up to the smell of joels coffee and dinas sleeping form in her bed, all that pretty curly hair sprawled over her pillow. but she knew what she was doing when she made this decision. she knew what she was doing when she decided to steal the identity of some rich lawyer so she could withdrawal all their money for herself. she knew what she was doing when she’d went to that very same lawyers office with an unregistered pistol, robbing them and leaving them with practically nothing. this couldn’t have happened coincidentally. she wanted her old brain back. the one that didn’t have violent and impulsive thoughts. the one that didn’t keep replaying her heinous crimes.

“you’re a mess.” ellie looks up. she sees herself wearing her prison uniform. her hair was much longer then (she’d cut most of it off.) “don’t tell me that. you’re a mess too.” she says to herself. “you want this heist so bad, then do it yourself. it’s nothing you can’t handle.” the split image of ellie was pushing her hands into her pockets and looking at the trees around her. “what’s stopping you?” “you know the answer to that question.” “i don’t. tell me ellie, what’s stopping you?” “y/n.”

as she says that, she hears your footfall behind her. she looks back at you and then back to where the other copy of herself had been. the other ellie was gone. you approach her slowly. “who were you talking to?” you ask, offering her a glass of orange juice that you’d made. “nobody. and uh, the heist.. it’s off.” she muttered as she takes a sip of the orange juice, quenching a thirst she didn’t know she had. “oh, well, that’s good.” you nod in approval. “im sorry.” ellie said it loud enough for your ears only. “i fucked up big time. i know i did. im sorry for putting you through this. im so sorry.” ellie almost never apologized for anything. your face flashes with multiple emotions at once, not sure which one you should feel right now. “it’s.. okay. it’s gonna take me some time to forgive you, but id like to try.” ellie turns to you once you finish speaking and she gives you a firm pat on the shoulder before heading towards the rv.

you felt yourself smiling a bit. you always knew she could do it. you just had to wait for her.

[goldenroutledge]

hey love! whenever you get the chance could you do a pope x reader where they are taking a drive and blasting music, and just enjoying each others company? i’ve recently fell in love with pope and your imagines are the actually best!!!!

lost & found

pairing(s): pope heyward x reader, platonic!pogues x reader

word count: 3.1k

warning(s): some swearing maybe but just a whole lot of fluff

a/n: thank you for requesting this anon!! its been a long time coming and im sorry for the wait but i hope u enjoy. its kinda like a 3 times pope shows he loves you + the 1 time he says it. also, thanks again for 400 🤍🤍

pope heyward masterlist

© goldenroutledge || do not plagiarize, repost, or translate my work in any way

Mutual pining; when two people like or love each other but think the other one isn't interested. A definition that fit your circumstances exactly, but was unbeknownst to you. In your mind, it was nothing but unrequited love.

Your friendship with Pope had been the closest out of the pogues forever. None of them bothered in competing with the closeness of you two, because they knew they couldn’t measure up. It was unspoken, almost, the dynamic between the group. There were the pogues as a whole, then there was you and Pope. Anyone with eyes could see that there was something far beyond friendship there. The fact that you both were pretty much waiting for the other gave it away, really.

one.

“Y/n, if I ask a favor of you, will you promise not to hate me?” Sarah questioned from beside you in the back of the Twinkie. John B driving, JJ up front beside him, Kie and Pope sitting across from you.

“Depends, what is it?”

She focused on the colorful bracelet on her wrist to avoid eye contact. “Hypothetically, would you be mad if I set you up on a blind date?” You hadn’t noticed Pope look up at the two of you as the words ‘blind date’ fell from Sarah’s lips, awaiting your response.

“As in you already have or you’re thinking about it? Because if you’re thinking, then stop. And if you’ve already set it up, cancel.” You informed the girl.

“Why?” She frowned. “You haven’t been out with anyone in forever. You and this Jake would make a really cute couple, too.”

“First of all, I’m not going out with anyone named Jake, Sarah Cameron. And how would you know if I’ve been on any dates, anyways?”

“Are you kidding? You’ve shot down like, every guy on this island. Some of these dudes would die to be your boyfriend, Y/n.” Sarah debated.

“Maybe she’s mackin’ someone on the low and doesn’t want your big mouth to find out.” JJ chirped, receiving a smack over the head from John B for the minor insult to his girlfriend.

“Maybe she doesn’t want any of these morons around here.” Kie chimed in.

“Or maybe, I just don’t want a relationship right now? Will you guys stop jumping to conclusions?” You interrupted, ending their theories.

“You mean, you don’t want a relationship if it’s not with P-” The sound of the ‘P’ barely escaped JJ’s lips before John B clasped a hand over the boy’s mouth to shut him up, whisper scolding him in the process.

“So you won’t give it a chance?” Sarah asked pleadingly.

“If she doesn’t wanna go, she doesn’t wanna go. Leave it alone.” Pope interjected, surprising you a bit.

“Thank you, Pope. At least someone gets it.” He softly smiled in response, but the smile didn’t reach his brown orbs. They appeared disappointed, but you couldn’t seem to understand why. The van had come to a stop, the others hopping out and heading inside of the store to pick up a few things.

The topic of conversation being your love life brought your mood down a little, so you opted to stay in the van and wait. Pope was kind enough to stay back with you, too. He could always sense when something was bothering you or shifted your energy. “You good?” He asked.

“Mhm. Sarah’s just kind of pushy sometimes, that’s all.” He chuckled at your words, nodding in agreement. “If I want to date someone I’ll do it on my own terms.”

“Yeah. You deserve to be happy, Y/n.” He admitted, forcing a small, but tight-lipped smile onto his otherwise cheery face.

“So do you, Pope.”

two.

Rain beat down on the island, thunder rumbling and lightning striking in the dark sky. You all had chosen to stay in at the Chateau, considering nobody wanted to drive back to their respective homes in the quickly worsening weather. The sound of rain was normally relaxing to you, but tonight it felt like anything but.

You tossed and turned in the bed of the spare room in John B’s house, throwing the covers on and off in an attempt to get comfortable. You had been stirred awake by not only the poor weather outside but a nightmare that had your heart and mind racing for a good few minutes. 2:47, the time on your phone read, the light harsh to your tired eyes.

Your throat felt dry and your body felt parched from dehydration. You tiptoed out to the kitchen, choosing your steps carefully while trying to avoid the creaky floorboards. Scooping the ice into your cup, a cube or two slipped out and hit the floor. “Shit!” You whispered at the noise. As you were picking up the fallen cubes to place in the sink, a set of footsteps were moving towards you.

“Y/n?” Pope muttered out sleepily, rubbing the tiredness from his eyes. You hadn’t expected to wake anyone up, involuntarily jumping at the sound of his voice.

“Jesus, you scared me.”

“Sorry.” He apologized. “What the hell are you doing up, anyway?”

You filled your glass with water, taking a much needed gulp. “Couldn’t sleep well.” You shrugged, the sound of the rain leaving no room for silence. “What about you?”

“I heard someone from the living room, figured it was you. You’ve always been a light sleeper.” He answered, eyes averting your bare legs from his the shirt you were wearing, while yours averted his bare chest and torso.

“Yeah. I’m gonna try to go back to bed, though. If the storm will allow it tonight.” You pointed out.

“Let me walk you back, so you don’t trip over your own feet this time.” He joked in reference to your accidental clumsiness at the most inconvenient times.

“Oh, shut up. You literally got your pants caught on a gate once. I think you’re winning.” You shot back in a hushed tone.

You set the glass on the nightstand, crawling into bed for the second time. “Whatever helps you sleep at night. Oh, wait, you don’t sleep at night.” Pope countered, satisfied with his remark as you only rolled your eyes. He bid you goodnight and headed for the door, just barely reaching the knob before you stopped him.

“Pope?”

“Yeah?”

“Do you think you could stay with me?”

His eyebrows raised. “On the floor?”

“No, idiot. In the bed. There’s room for both of us.” You acknowledged. “Please? I mean you said it yourself, whatever helps me sleep at night.”

He shook his head in disbelief as a smile pulled at his lips, calling himself crazy for thinking that this would mean something more than two friends sharing a bed for a night. Yet, he was still doing it anyway. He accepted the spot on the bed you patted for him, throwing the covers on and relaxing beside you. “You sure this is gonna help you sleep?”

“Of course, it is. Now that I have my favorite human radiator here with me.”

three.

Days spent together on the HMS pogue felt fewer and farther between, everyone’s schedules conflicting in one way or another. Surprisingly, the four pogues were able to agree on a day. Just four.

You were stuck studying for an upcoming exam, stressing yourself out to the max and not wanting to take a moment away from the material. If you had decided to go, you were sure that you wouldn’t be able to keep your mind off of the test anyway. It would only add to your worries, so you opted not to go. But urged Kie to tell the rest of them to have a fun day without you and pass on your apologies for canceling last minute.

“Ahh.” JJ emphasized, taking a long sip of his beer as he sat with his feet up on the edge of the boat. “What a nice day to do nothing.”

“Just like everyday?” Kie questioned him.

“Wrong. I have a job, Kiara.” He returned, the two of them shooting playful insults back and forth before Pope chimed in, noticing the direction John B was going.

“Isn’t Y/n coming? You missed her dock completely.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you. She can’t make it today.” Kiara revealed.

“Did she say why?”

“Uhh, studying for a test I think. She sounded crazy stressed on the phone.” The girl recollected.

“JB? Can you drop me off at her dock, actually?” He asked the brunette.

John B shrugged. “I guess so. You think she wants company right now?”

“I know she wants someone right now. The least I could do is offer my help.” He elaborated to the group. They all stayed silent on the way to your dock, not wanting to interfere with the never ending love story between their dear friends Y/n and Pope. “Thanks, man.” Pope thanked his friend, hopping off the boat and onto the dock near your house as soon as it came to a slow.

“You want us to wait?”

“Sure, I’ll text you if I end up staying.” He told them, rushing to the patio door of your house and letting himself in. That wasn’t something out of the ordinary, as you gave Pope a key for emergencies anyway.

The knock on your bedroom door was barely audible, the information spinning in your head made it hard to hear anything else. He had to poke his head in and call out your name quietly for you to notice someone else was even in your house. “Hey, what are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be enjoying the boat day?” You sighed, dropping your pencil and moving the tired muscles in your hand.

“Kie told me you had to bail because of your exam, so, I thought you might want a study partner.” He explained, sitting beside you on the floor, both of your backs leaning against the frame of your bed.

“You didn’t have to do that. Today’s your day off.”

“And I’m choosing to spend it with my best friend. Is that a problem?” He countered.

“No, but you should go have fun with our friends. Don’t be cooped up inside just because I have to be.” He frowned at the tired expression on your face that wasn’t letting up.

“Don’t worry about it, Y/n. You’re stressing me out just listening to you.” He joked, looking around your bedroom floor to the scattered papers of loose note sheets and flashcards.

“Well, I am stressed. I don’t remember any of what I studied last night and if I don’t start remembering, I’m fucked.”

“Did you sleep at all last night? You do look tired, Y/ n.” Pope observed.

“I’m pretty sure I did. I passed out eventually.” You tried to think back, but decided it didn’t really matter anyway. “You want something to drink?” You offered while standing up, slightly wobbling with the quick movement.

Pope shot up to your height immediately, stabling you with his hands on your arms. “I can get us both some water. Stay here.”

“Forget the water, can you grab me a RedBull?” His eyebrows scrunched in confusion and disapproval of how you pushed your well-being to the backburner once again.

“How many glasses of water have you had today? Did you even have breakfast?”

“Lost count and once again, RedBull.”

“A RedBull does not count as breakfast.” He warned you.

“It does in this book. Can you just go grab me another one?” You asked in the politest tone you could pull off at the moment, rubbing your temples in exasperation.

“Water it is.”

He returned with a glass of water for each of you, handing yours to you. “You need to drink some water, Y/n.” You took a sip of the refreshing liquid, which turned into a gulp and a few more until the glass was empty.

“Wow. I was really thirsty.” You pointed out.

“No kidding, you haven’t drank a drop of water at all today.” He scolded.

You rolled your eyes, standing up to go refill your water. You lost your balance again, propping a hand up to the nearest sturdy object to stay upright. “Whoa.”

“Yeah, no.” He mumbled, coming to a conclusion in his head. “You need to lay down. Let me go find something for you to eat, and then you can take a nap.”

“A nap? A nap that I don’t have time for? Unless you plan on marrying me and taking my exam in my place-” You started, interrupted by Pope feeling your forehead for any signs of fever. “Ok, Dr. Pope. I think I’m fine.”

“Nuh-uh. You look exhausted, probably feel it too. Not to mention you’re dehydrated and hungry, and probably about to get sick if you don’t let your body reset.”

You sighed in surrender, sitting down on the edge of your bed. There was no use in arguing with him at this point. “Ok. Fine. But what happens when I bomb the exam?”

“That won’t happen. Once you feel better you’ll be able to retain the information better, too. Plus, no offense, but you’re disorganized as hell. Let me help fix that, then we can go over the notes later, okay?”

“Okay.” You agreed at last. He nodded before leaving the bedroom to make you some real food, slipping his phone out of his pocket as he turned the corner to text the rest of his friends.

‘you guys can go on without me, i’m gonna stay here with y/n’.

four.

One of your favorite parts about your friendship with Pope were the fun, nostalgic moments. They may have not happened often, but when they did they were always memorable and times that you later wished you could go back and relive.

The pogues were all excited for the annual county fair, but then again who wasn’t? It was one of your favorite events of every summer for as long as you could remember, especially the fair memories with Pope in them. The group decided today would be a day with their significant others, leaving you and Pope as the odd two out, but everyone was planning for you to be paired up for the day anyway.

“How about the ferris wheel now?” Pope proposed.

“Sure, I need a damn break from spinning in the air.” You confessed, referring to the tallest rides of the park you had just been on that could make anyone dizzy just by watching.

As the wheel neared and stopped at its peak height to overlook the fair, you leaned over to take a better look at it all. You chuckled at how tiny everyone else looks from up above, like people from the view of an airplane.

Pope did not feel that same humor, as he let out a yelp and clutched onto the cart for dear life as it tilted and rocked slightly with your movement. “Sit back, Y/n, what the hell?!”

“Relax, we aren’t going anywhere. I’m sure this ride is very sturdy.” You reassured him.

“Says everyone who has died on a carnival ride before they test the limits! It’s like you have a death wish.” He rambled, breathing dramatically heavy before the ferris wheel began to spin again, letting you back down to ground level.

People from behind the counters of the rigged games shouted at you both, trying to grab your attention and take your money. “Oh my God, Pope. Is that not the cutest stuffed elephant you’ve ever seen?” You exclaimed in awe of one of the stuffed animals hanging up.

“Let me try to win it for you.” He suggested, already walking up to the game. Unfortunately it was one of those toss games where he would have to throw a ball to knock over some stacked cups. Unfortunately meaning Pope was on the math team, so it only took him 4 rounds worth.

An outrageous $28 spent later, the man behind the counter was handing you the perfect stuffed elephant. The look in your eyes and smile on your face made it all worth it for Pope, even if he had planned to use that money for something else.

You treated him to a funnel cake in return, the bright and colorful lights illuminating your already jubilant expressions. You sipped the last of your soft drink through the cheap plastic straw, exhaustingly treading out to Pope’s car that you both struggled to find.

You had no problem slouching back in the seat, head thrown back as the warm air blew steadily through the rolled down windows. A lengthy playlist full of your favorites blasted through the stereo, the vibrations of the bass pretty much moving through the entire car. “Now you’re lost, lost in the heat of it all.” You sang, gesturing to Pope to finish the chorus, to which he was more than happy to do so.

“Girl you know you’re lost, lost in the thrill of it all.” For once you weren’t listening to the comments from your friends about you and Pope. But instead following your heart and living in these moments with him, interlocking your fingers together. You didn’t want it to end, but it had to once Pope pulled up to your house and turned the key, cutting the engine and the music.

The crickets could be heard from further away, but it was a comfortable silence. You both looked at each other and smiled tired ones, in no rush to move from your current position. “I love you, Y/n.” Your heart pounded at the words that fell from his lips in a murmur, not sure if you heard correctly.

So you decided to whisper back, even if your mind was playing tricks on you. “I love you, too.” The apparent grin on his face was a dead giveaway to you that it wasn’t in your head. You met him halfway to the center console for the kiss you’d both been longing for, just as fireworks from the fair bursted into the sky. You weren’t sure if you heard them or felt them, but you would’ve put money on both.

Mutual pining; when two people like or love each other but think the other one isn't interested. Who knew how much you’d both been losing while pining for the other. How much lost time you had to make up for. And now that you had found what you’d been searching for, it didn’t matter. The burden of lost time couldn’t even touch the connection that you had found.

a/n: i loved writing this, and i hope you all enjoyed reading it! let me know your thoughts please <3 also the song mentioned towards the end is lost by frank ocean

taglist: @ilovejjmaybank @rosylinn @nxsmss @cameronsrafe @msgorillagripcoochie @bibliophilewednesday @tovvaa @freddymaybank @annab-nana @babeyglo @sunsetholland @moniamaybank @outerbankspreferences @laneybobeczko-g @jjpouggues @j-j-may-bank

pope taglist: @dmonchld

[kaveuh]

can i get you on the matchup event sharty 😩😫‼️ JKJK unless......

GAHAHSHAHAHA ALR ALR

FANDOM : GENSHIN IMPACT

PERSONALITY ?!

if you cant tell from the opening i am a bit of a chaotic gremlin. a tiny bit of a troublemaker. just a little lad inconviniencing others for my own personal amusement. the rage , concern and sheer exhaustion others express when seeing me approach them makes me feel raw happiness and glee.

or at least thats what im like once we get to know eachother for more than 5 months AHAHAHAHAHA first month or two i meet people i am similar to the "shy hot rich dark haired divorcee , emotionally constipated hard dom character" character trope you see in medias and all. like i do Not talk unless spoken to, and usually then i just kinda nod and make agreeing noises LMFAOAOA

anyway during friendship state i would jumpscare people by revealing an exaggerated summary of past events. like, "the principal at my elementary school used to chase me down alot" or "i fell into a sewer once" so they'll go ??? and then i dont elaborate and dissapear into thin air . . . .

next stage is a draw them alot. like i go and ask them "hey ! lets say, in an absolutely 100% hypothetical situation, that we are married. eo you wear the dress or suit. answer now gogogo." or something of the sort, draw them and never show them because im a lil shy SJDKKDKSKD

after that i shyly ask if .......... they wanna go hangout and do smth ............. like .............. commit crimes together or smth maybe .............................. because i am mentally ill and does not know how people usually hangout 👍 following that, i sometimes drop hints that im not okay in the head. like i cant think of an example rn at the top of my head but when asked if im okay or whatev i always go "when have i ever been . . . " and proceed to make shart jokes HAHSGAGAGAHAGAHAGAHA

like everyone else, there would be time when i crack and need some time to recover. during this period, i just isolate myself and dissapear without a trace and dont come back until i feel a bit better, and if asked i just go "dw abt it" and change the topic 👍 i dont really like troubling others with my problems because i always feel like since its My problem that I should deal with it because not only do i know myself best, things are sometimes better when done alone.

so to sum it up : shy, hella quiet at first. but slowly opens up by showing my funky little doodles and then after that is absolute chaos. you are now a part of my circus

additionally : i speak fluent sarcasm, has the humor of a 14 y.o (cum/dick/generally inappropriate jokes). once were good friends i Will insult you in a gentle way because idk how to be nice without being a lil mean sometimes 👍 i also like calling people clowns, fools and sharties.

i also listen to edgy vocaloid music (MARETU and other stuff) and it concerns people when i listen to them sometimes but I CANT HELP IT THEY SLAP SO HARD OKAY ‼️

i also have mild god complex SKSKDKDKC IM, IM SO ARROGANT BUT LIKE IM ALSO KINDA COWARDLY ???? i say things like " this world was made for me. I am The Emperor, the Ruler of this world and everyone shall bow to me and kiss my feet. " but then i go sit in the very back hoping that no one notices me AHAHAHAHAHAH

HOBBIES ?!

uh , drawing, gently traumitizing friends with cursed knowledge and imagery. reading but cONLY if its reader inserted 👍 i used to write but not anymore, so sometimes i dig my old books like a lil molerat to read my old writings because i dislike myself

DREAM DATE ?!

sharty getting a date is already a dream come true 😭😭😭 idk if i could ask for more LMAOAOAOAO but u u h, staying inside while it rains really hard . . . i just really like the rain bc it gets cold sometimes and i like curling up into a ball and sleep wawawa . . or just dates where you get to have lots of fun and get to show off or whatever alot, like arcade/festival game dates !!!

idk what else to put here ngl HAWHAHAGAHWHAH

[ note ] ure officially #1 on my pookie bear list smirk

l THE GOD COMPLEX PART IS LITERALLU SNEDING ME HELP ME IMAGINE JUST LISTENIGN TO SOME EDGY VOCALOID SONGS AND ACTING LIKE A LIGHT KINNIE WITH THE DEATH NOTE 😭😭

i got carried away with this one again

I SHIP YOU WITH… ❁𓂃 ִֶָ  🥥 ٬٬

a.itto 🍓🍒

• YOU AND HIM TOGETHER = EVERYONE RUNNING AWAY BCS THEY WOULDN’T BE ABLE TO HANDLE IT

• itto’s one of the few people who wouldn’t get annoyed by your presence tbh, but you can try annoying him

• he’s equally as annoying as ch*lde but in a funnier way ‼️

• OK SINCE YOU MENTIONED THAT YOU’RE MORE ON THE LESS TALKING SIDE FOR THE FIRST TWO OR MORE MONTHS OF MEETING, ITTO DEFINITELY TAKES THE LEAD 😼

• “AND I SAW THIS HUGE ONIKABUTO! YOU THINK I CAN BEAT THAT KID WITH THIS?!” *head nodding, humming, smiling*

• once you get a bit more comfortable with itto, the two of you would have a prank war… and it’ll exhaust everyone around you

• YOU PROBABLY ONCE HAD A BOUNTY ON YOUR HEAD TOO 💀

• itto is the type to get jumpscared easily, so whenever you’d drop something like, “i almost got arrested and fell into the sewer lmao” he’d literally just go ???? SPEECHLESS HELP

• he’s usually the one to ask to go on a date or something so when you shyly 🥺👉👈 (HELP) ask him to go out HE WAS BEAMING WITH HAPPINESS WITH TEARS OF JOY

• he actually knows about the fact that you draw him btw lol, he sees you staring at him occasionally BUT DOESN’T SAY ANYTHING‼️ HE WANTS TO WAIT FOR YOU TO SHOW HIM INSTEAD

• if you ever end up isolating yourself from him, or even feeling down, HE WILL KNOW SOMETHING IS WRONG ESP IF YOU’RE ACTING DIFFERENT !! expect tons of gifts (including onikabutos) coming your way because he has no idea on how to comfort someone so he relies on gift giving and physical affection!

• he also doesn’t mind if you send him cursed images, not that he’s phased by it, rather he’d be amused by it and show it to his gang to traumatize them instead LMAOO

• ITTO’S THE TYPE OF BF TO PASS YOU TO AUX CORD NO MATTER WHAT YOU DONT EVEN HAVE TO ASK! he’ll listen to the music you put on even if he doesn’t particularly like the genre. he loved you, so he’ll deal with it and let the song grow in him <33

• you cannot tell me that this man doesn’t have 14 y.o fortnite humor either like 😭 he definitely tries to get sara to fight him again by going “i bet you’ll lose a 1v1 against me in fortnite…” and he doesn’t even play.

• so overall, arataki itto truly is the best man you could ever ask for because he will take you everywhere, on random dates, onikabuto fighting, games, etc.

[leiasfanaccount648]

I’m So Sorry

Keigo Takami [Hawks] x Fem!Reader

Request from Anon: Hello i am new to your account, and i think it's great. Im a hawks simp so you might get more requests of him if thats okay lol. Uhm can my first request be a hawks x fem reader angst, if you write that and uh can it be an imagine where he gets mad at her and ends up hurting her, angst with happy ending? .i hope that is okay but its up to u. Thank youuu!!

A/N: Thank you again so much for your request! I hope you don’t mind, but I did change this up a little bit. I hope you enjoy!

Warnings/Contains: Angst, this takes place during/after the last two episodes of season 4 so slight manga spoilers? (I haven’t read much so this is mostly just hypothetical speculation from what I have read), cursing, argument, reader being shoved by Keigo.

Word Count: 2031

He knew it was risky, but then again, what else was he supposed to do? He had no other option. He had to be careful on how he went about this, as anyone could be watching or listening. Hell, for all he knew someone already knew of what he was planning to do or already done and was waiting for the perfect moment to chance to blackmail him.

However, he couldn’t think of that right now. He had to focus on what his plans were. If one thing went wrong or was out of place, it could sabotage everything.

“Keigo?”

The winged man flinched slightly as he heard his name being called out so suddenly. He had been so lost in thought that he had stopped eating the dinner that his girlfriend prepared for him. Keigo looked up at her, blinking to get rid of any possible look he had in his eyes that could worry her.

“Hm? What is it, baby?”

“Are you okay? You kinda spaced out there.”

(Y/N) let out a chuckle, finding it a little funny how her boyfriend would sometimes focus on the smallest things. She didn’t find it out of the ordinary, but she did find it odd that something other than herself managed to tear Keigo away from the precious chicken parmesan you made him. As he replied to her, part of her began to take notice how out of place he seemed to be every now and then over the last few weeks; this was just the first time she had taken the time to ask him about it.

“Oh,” Keigo laughed along with her, nodding his head. “Yeah, I’m okay. Just thinking about work is all.”

“Do you wanna talk about it?” (Y/N) took a bite from the food on her plate, her tone being very easy going as it was obvious to her boyfriend that he didn’t have to tell her, but she was still there to listen if he needed her. At the same time, she wanted to know in case something was seriously wrong. He was a pro hero after all, and that job comes with many risks.

“No, it’s alright. A certain case has just been in my mind after hearing about it today.” Keigo took a bite of the chicken, humming in satisfaction at the taste. He swore he would never get tired of his girlfriend’s cooking. “Dinner’s great, by the way. Thank you for making it.” He smiled, knowing that he changed the subject smoothly enough to make both of them move on from the previous topic.

(Y/N) proceeded to thank him, going on to say that she had to run to the store at the last minute to get an ingredient that they didn’t have in the kitchen. Of course, Keigo’s thoughts remained elsewhere while his eyes were trained on the one he loved.

The next morning, Keigo had gotten up a little bit earlier than usual before leaving for work. Granted, he did have to make a stop first before the hero rankings happened later that day.

Keigo had arrived at the warehouse first, looking around the building to make sure no one could possibly see him before walking inside.

“About time you got here.”

Keigo had barely taken 3 steps inside before he heard the voice. Even if he had expected it, he still pulled out one of his longest and sharpest feathers and pointed it in the direction he heard it in. He kept the hard glare on his face as he stared at the man. “You should be more careful about keeping yourself out of sight, Dabi.”

The man chuckled, obviously sarcastic as he shrugged his shoulders while his hands rested in his pockets. “Please, if anyone else stumbled across this place I would have taken care of them without you even knowing.” He smirked slightly, almost making Keigo question whether or not Dabi really had done that before he arrived.

Either way, he rolled his eyes and lowered the feather in his hand. They had work to do soon that could not be treated nicely. “Let’s just finalize the details and get this over and done with, shall we?”

~     ~     ~

Keigo smiled to himself, proud of the fact that he managed to bring Endeavor to his hometown of Fukuoka just like he planned. Now, all that was left to do was seal the deal and wait for everything to go down the next day, or so he had thought.

He and Endeavor were eating lunch to discuss all that was going on when it happened, and part of Keigo was annoyed at himself for thinking that it would happen this way. Nevertheless, he and Endeavor fought the Nomu that Dabi and himself had planned for in hopes that everything would turn out like the plan originally intended to go.

It was a hard fight, one that even he didn’t expect to go the way it did. Of course, he couldn’t focus on that factor for long, as he still had a job to do. Sadly, it fell short as Endeavor had won the battle against the Nomu. Even though he was hoping for the end of Endeavor like Dabi was, he couldn’t help but admire the pro for always trying to get to the number one spot.

Endeavor always kept trying to get there unlike others who simply stood by thinking it was impossible. Keigo strived to be like that too, even if he claimed to want a lower hero ranking. He wanted to be able to create a laidback world so that heroes didn’t have to work so hard all the time, and he would do anything in order to do so. Including killing the man who had inspired him.

While he was upset about the plan not going the way he had hoped, and the fact that Dabi had acted without telling him, Keigo couldn’t help but feel stressed due to the fact that everything he had done in order to pull this off was now a waste. And he had no idea when he would be able to get another chance like this again.

He managed to reason with Dabi so that they could come up with another plan to end the current number one hero later in time, but for now, all he wanted to do was go home and relax in attempt to get rid of the pounding in his head and aches in his body from the fight he had.

The moment Keigo stepped into the apartment and closed the door behind him, (Y/N) made her way to the door to greet him, walking faster than usual. She knew that he was okay, as he had called her shortly before meeting with Dabi to let her know, but worry was still written all over her face.

“Keigo,” (Y/N)’s hands raised to her mouth as she noticed that most of his wings were gone after the fight. Even if they would grow back over the course of a couple days, it was still an unusual sight to see from her boyfriend. “Your wings.” She stepped towards him again, reaching out to hold his cheek so he’d look her in the eye.

Instead, Keigo moved her hand away before she could touch him and took off his coat followed by his shoes. “I’m fine, (Y/N).”

The tone in his voice was one (Y/N) knew all too well: stress. “You’re not, and we both know it.”

Keigo didn’t say a word and simply walked past her to the kitchen. He reached into one cabinet and grabbed a glass, then into another to grab a bottle of gin and seltzer water. (Y/N) followed him, choosing her words carefully. “You don’t have to tell me what’s on your mind, whether you do or not. But please tell me how I can help you.”

“You can be quiet, that’s how you can help.”

(Y/N) eyed him, part of her hurt from his words and part of her annoyed. “Excuse me?” “You may say that you can help, but right now, all I need from you is silence and to leave me alone.” Kiego’s back faced her while he spoke, making the cocktail that he decided on. He turned around and took a big sip; he took in the expression she now wore herself.

“What on earth happened to make you start acting like this?” (Y/N) took a step forward, still hoping that she could figure out what was actually going on. There was definitely a reason as to why he acted so different compared to the way he did after a hard day at work, so what caused it?

“What do you want me to say when I come home from work, (Y/N)? That everything was all fine and dandy? No crime happened throughout the city? The district? The country?” He let out a short yet sarcastic laugh. “Well guess what sweetheart? That just isn’t the case, is it?” He took another swig of his drink before setting it down on the counter.

(Y/N) held back from sounding so harsh, becoming more and more ticked off as her boyfriend dodged question after question thrown at him. “Keigo, please,” she stepped forward, reaching out to him again. “Just answer my question so I can help you.”

Keigo eyed her as she got close, her words starting to get to him. He was a hero, so he should be helping other people, not the other way around. But, with his plans in flames from Dabi, the world he was hoping for was now even further out of his reach.

He stepped away to walk out of the kitchen, mumbling under his breath. “I’m going to get a shower.”

(Y/N) trailed after him, putting a hand on his shoulder in an attempt to stop him as Keigo began to step into the hallway. “No, you’re not.” It was then that Keigo would turn to regret everything.

“I told you to leave me alone!”

In less than a second, Keigo turned around to move (Y/N)’s hand off of him, but in the process of doing so, he accidentally put too much strength into his movements and slammed (Y/N) into the cabinets next to her with just his arm.

(Y/N) lost her breath as well as her footing from hitting the wood so hard and fell to the floor. She hesitantly looked up at her boyfriend, seeing as he was now glaring harsher at her with his teeth slightly bared. She could almost feel the anger now radiating off of him, and she was terrified.

The realization of what Keigo had just done sunk in mere seconds after it happened. He felt his heart drop at the sight of the one he loved on the ground from his actions, now scared of him and what he would possibly do to her next. “(Y/N),” was all he could get out.

“No, don’t.” (Y/N) moved back on the floor as best as she could in her scared state. She eventually stood up, backing up away from him while her arms wrapped around herself. “If you’re going to act like this, then I’m going to leave before you do anything worse.”

Keigo couldn’t bring himself to look her in the eyes, instead staring at the floor. He didn’t even move when (Y/N) walked past him with tears in her eyes. He could hear her grab her keys and put on her shoes before leaving, slamming the door for good measure.

Keigo didn’t try running after her, instead raising a hand to grip his hair tightly and leaning against the doorway of the kitchen. “Fuck.” This all happened because of him and his selfish actions, and there was no other way to look at the situation. “I’m sorry.”

He knew that one simple apology wasn’t going to solve anything, but then again he didn’t know what he could do to turn this around. He grit his teeth and his other hand hit the wall beside him. “I’m so sorry.”

[tobiosmilktea]

a simple romance — tsukishima kei

1.5k words | genre/s: fluff, 80s!au | warning/s: — | pairing: tsukishima x fem!reader

↪︎ in which you and tsukishima celebrate a simple anniversary for your simple romance

a/n: kinda plotless and just mindless word throw up because im a homeless romantic who’s whipped for tsukishima, plus it’s my 500 follower special ✋🏻😌

you and tsukishima always had quite the simple romance. the only factor that was not exactly simple was that it was tsukishima who confessed first one september day. it was early in the morning the moment the sky bled its onyx night sky into an orangey-dawn.

you had barely left the safe confines of your home when the tall blond that waited outside your door in the crisp autumn air had nonchalantly confessed. usually it was him and yamaguchi waiting for you, but you figured he made his best friend walk ahead in order to be alone with you.

it was quite surprising, really. you assumed that all you were to tsukishima was nothing but a friend, someone so annoyingly bearable that he only let you stick around because you made him bentos once in a while. and in a surprising turn of events, you accepted his feelings and the two of you have been dating primarily on the low.

having your relationship known wasn’t exactly your main priority and neither was tsukishima’s. especially considering that if his volleyball team found out, they wouldn’t leave you alone for a second without bombarding you about why you would end up with someone as salty as him. the funny thing was that you often asked yourself that as well, but with how simple your romance was, there was nothing more to answer that question besides the fact you liked being with him. so you digress.

granted, since your relationship was more or less a secret besides only yamaguchi being aware of this fact, you and tsukishima often had to see each other in away from the sight of others. most of the time is was behind closed doors, but sometimes, sometimes, very early in the mornings you two would have a sweet rendezvous somewhere behind the gym before spending the rest of the hours before school starts on the field.

with you being a member of the track team and tsukishima being in the volleyball club, the field seemed like the only plausible reason why the two of you would be there. every friday morning you two would come early just to run around the track with the cool morning breeze and the tweets of songbirds tweeted among the peaceful silence.

you and tsukishima walked upon school grounds with water bottles in hand and your walkmans in the other. you had recently gotten a new one for your birthday, the latest 1984 Sony Walkman that was progressively better in sound quality than your boyfriend’s old 1982 model, to which he stated, “how much better can it be when your music taste is trash?”

you rolled your eyes and ran ahead of him. he gets quite annoyed when you do that as he isn’t necessarily the fastest runner. the only reasons why he does these morning runs is to be with you, so you ditching made him put on that cute pout you can’t resist. besides, you would reward him with a heated make out session behind the gym or the storage closet in return.

ten laps around the track was all you two ran, occasionally making small talk on the most existential topics on whether or not aliens exist or the stupid hypothetical questions about a zombie apocalypse—to which tsukishima would tease you and say he would feed you to the zombies. but it wasn’t to say that sometimes waves of comfortable silence wouldn’t fall upon you two. you concluded that no matter what, you would always find yourself in this type of tranquil silence with tsukishima. you had even forgotten your boyfriend’s stares of admiration, rather, you didn’t actually know if his gazes were of malice, indifference, or adoration, but whatever it was you hoped it was something good.

despite dating for a year now, you still couldn’t tell the difference, but you knew deep inside your gut that was accompanied by the same butterflies that all he means is nothing but love. and you wished to show that love as today was your anniversary.

and to which tsukishima thought you couldn’t get more breathtaking than the last time you had been at each other’s companies just yesterday, it seemed he had been proven wrong. you were teeth stark against the moonlight, divulged in night torn howls of winds and slick with honor. even at your worst, with skin frayed with abrasions and scrapped knees, tsukishima still found light within your fondness. and right now, you were filled with ichor of charming homemade raptures. your boyfriend couldn’t fathom how beguiled he was for a girl he hadn’t thought of more than an add on to his friendship with yamaguchi.

after your run, you two found yourselves resting upon the bleachers near the baseball field. you rested your legs atop tsukishima’s as he fiddled with your walkman. your headphones were now rested over your boyfriend’s ears as he listened to your curated mixtape of songs you specifically listened to on your runs with tsukishima. the songs that you burned on it were special to you and him and to you and him only. the songs that reminded you two of your first date during the night when you breathed out against the late night’s mist, inhaling the stars as you and tsukishima walked hand in hand through the city—of his quips of banter, his wisecracks of pleasantries, even his annoyingly amiable witticisms that would often put you in your place of not being as clever as your boyfriend—had a special place in your heart.

your gaze, warm in admiration as you looked upon his handsome features, took him in like a breath of fresh air. he was bobbing his head lightly to the music. it made a smile melt upon your face as your thoughts were scattered by the wind (a mere light breeze) as you exhaled your silk promises. your bare knuckles grazed over his as your hand lifted to his face, running your hand through his messy blond hair.

within seconds, the mixtape clicked to an end to which tskushima kissed your palm messing at his hair as he sat up. “this is actually good,” he mutters. “perhaps your music taste isn’t as bad as i remembered.”

“that’s funny considering most of my past music taste was from you.” you jested with a smirk on your lips.

he scoffs playfully, pecking your lips quickly. “yeah right, the majority of your mixtapes were nothing but queen and abba.”

“please tell me you’re not trashing queen and abba,” you rolled your eyes and feigning offense, “they’re literally iconic.”

“if you added some mötley crüe or tears of fears, maybe it would be better.” tsukishima smirks, making you huff. “but it’s fine as since it is our anniversary today, i figured i would be nice.”

“do you want to give our gifts now?” 

tsukishima nods as he smiles, “so i can listen to it throughout the day.”

your eyebrows furrow together in confusion, “how’d you know i was going to give you a mixtape?”

“mere intuition,” your boyfriend jokes, causing you to shake your head as you reached into your backpack’s front pocket. “i actually burned you one too.” tsukishima did the same as the two of you faced each other once more with mixtapes in both your hands.

your fingers brushed each others briefly as you two traded gifts. and despite contact between the two of you hadn’t been scarce, there was still that same spark and radiating warmth that would consume you two.

both had cute notes attached to it as you had both read it.

FOR MY LOVE: the first mixtape of yours that isn’t complete rubbish and the first mixtape given to you for your new 1984 Sony Walkman that you won’t stop talking about. i don’t have to worry about you liking these songs because i know you will since i know you so well. i’ve also come to notice that you like to mix severely opposite genres on one tape i.e fleetwood mac and metallica like an absolute monster. so i did that on this tape for your sake. i love you, idiot.  —tsukishima kei

FOR MY BLONDIE: even though you hate listening to mainstream music, i couldn’t help but put on the latest from michael jackson, madonna, and some city pop because who else would i scream these songs until my throat is raw with? but besides that, i added some more of your favorites like twisted sister. i can’t wait for you to make fun of this mixtape because i know deep down it’s going to be one of your favorites because it came from me. i love you, dickhead.  — l/n y/n

you two sit in silence for bit, doing nothing more but being in each other’s presence and embrace. letting the world before you continue to move as you looked at the tape’s songs. you were immediately struck with the feeling of the nostalgic nights with tsukishima, laughing in the dark at two in the morning of messing around and reassuring pats on the back. you two were quilted blankets and moonless nights, of warm sunspots on a cloudy day, and cherry blossom petals falling upon your hair without noticing. you were tsukishima’s cure to boredom and lack of sleep. you two were each other’s everything.

it was your simple romance.

[switch-bladefights]

thank you for the tag gracie @setting-in-a-honeymoon , i love tag games!

rulez: answer some questions and tag some blogs you want to get to know better!

name/nickname: jamie

gender: let’s say she/her and leave it at that for now

star sign: aries

height: i’m 5’6” and a half

time: 5:41pm

birthday: march 27th (although march slander is valid)

favourite bands: my chem, idkhow, panic!, the brobecks, fall out boy, paramore, green day, duran duran, all time low etc.

fave solo artists: gerard, frank, homeless gospel choir, elton john

song stuck in my head: i don’t currently have one soz to be boring

last film: i’m currently watching ralph breaks the internet with my sister

last tv show: parks and rec or hypothetical i can’t remember

when i made this blog: huh. maybe 2015?

what i post: variety babey

last thing i googled: “guy who sold air the lorax”

other blogs: none, i have one i’m keeping a username on but i don’t post anything

do i get asks: sometimes!

why i chose my url: fucking banger innit

following: 382 i need to follow more people oops

followers: 565, i am but a small blog :)

average hours of sleep: i usually get my 6-8 :) i like sleeping

lucky number: i don’t have one i guess

instruments: i play a little bass and ukulele and i just entered a competition to win a guitar so if i win then that too

what i am wearing: oh god i’m dressed way emo today, i’m wearing ripped black skinny jeans, my return mcr shirt, demolition lovers earrings i made, chunky necklace, ringz and the wristband i bought when i saw green day

dream trip: honestly i just wanna go back to orlando i miss it bro

favourite food: chicken nuggets im super fussy

nationality: i’m british innit

favourite song: love at first sight by the brobecks

last book i read: uhhh i’m not a big reader but i read a play called chef recently for uni

top three fictional universes you’d like to live in: i don’t know, like honestly. i don’t really think about that kinda thing tbf

favourite colour: red!

i’m tagging @panicontheleft-sinnerontheright @roozmatazz @voluntaryvictim @master0fthewicket @mytuberculosisfridaynight if you want to but no pressure obvs! also anyone else who feels like it

[slashesotron]

can we pls get more priest avery content, im so thirsty for him 😩😩😩

You can! Have a fic co-written with a friend!

WARNINGS: This is pretty mild as far as material here goes. Father Sebastian is a huge repressed dork. Reader is AFAB and a Satanist. Sexual content; fades to black. Self-harm in a ‘penance’ context. A couple [censored] S/ims screenshots as a treat. Enjoy!

———–

You were dragged to church by a concerned friend. They were just trying to help, really. You had told them you weren’t religious, but they insisted- the confession booth is good for you, they said! Just try it!

And they just looked so earnest you couldn’t say no.

You felt out of place in the church, as pretty as it was, filled with the faithful. You spent most of the sermon in the bathroom on your phone, trying to stay awake… but your friend came and found you, chiding you gently and dragging you back into the fray, into the line for confession.

You just wanted to go home, but….

Finally, it’s your turn, and stepping into the dimly lit, ornately carved little room and closing the door, something comes over you and you find yourself spilling your guts.

About how lonely you are, about how frustrating things have been- about being single, about having been celibate for far too long- it all just slips out like something else is controlling your tongue.

You pause.

“… Sorry. I’m sure this is all gross and weird to you.”

“……….. No, I know.” Comes the soft voice from the outside of the screen.

“… Wait, what? Do you mean you understand what I’m going through? Or…”

“I do, and…. Uh, well. It would be inappropriate from a member of the clergy.”

“… What? You can’t talk about sex stuff? I can never remember how, like, chaste you’re supposed to be…”

“…. I can listen, but revealing my own would be… a breach of protocol.”

“Oh. yeah… I guess it would be weird for you to confess to me. Sorry..”

“Ah, no reason to apologize, my child… go on.”

“I’ve never actually done this before. I haven’t been inside a church since I was little..”

“All are welcome. One needn’t be a member of the church to seek solace here…”

“I just… I don’t know why I was even brought here. They wanted to help, but…”

“Tell me what’s on your mind. Has anything been bothering you…?”

“I’m just lonely, I have been since I graduated… I’m not doing anything with my degree, and I hate my job too.. that stupid video store is gonna close any day now, and then what’ll I do? I dunno… Sometimes I just wish I could escape.”

“I see… I can understand how frustrating that would be… your future seems hopeless to you right now, and that’s a tough place to be in….” He pauses. “Tell me… what would your ideal future look like?”

“Um, I guess… A cozy house with nice windows to let all the sunlight in… A job I don’t hate where I can make enough money to live comfortably… Maybe someone I like to live with too..”

“…. What’s that person like…?”

“Like, hypothetically? Because I haven’t met them yet…”

“Yes, hypothetically.”

“Okay, well…. Cute, tall, I guess… Maybe glasses, but that’s just my type. Um… Besides the superficial stuff, just… Someone who’s sweet and kind and will be patient with. Also hopefully likes nerdy stuff but… I don’t know. Just someone who’s nice.”

There’s a long silence from the other side of the booth.

“Uh, sorry. I’ll just… I don’t know how long I’ve been in here, my coworker is probably waiting, I need to go–”

“W-wait. Please.” Another few beats of silence. “…… Could you go through the door at the back of the aisle? Just…. go quickly, no one should stop you.”

You stop, not quite believing what you’re hearing.

“Wh-… okay? I-I can do that, I guess. Do you want me to go right now, or…?”

“Please.” His voice is soft and nervous.

“Okay, um… I’ll be right there, then…”

You get up, hoping no one sees you, and step through the door without looking back.

A moment after, a tall man in black robes slips through the back door of the confessional, gently closing it behind him… and then he turns. Pale, freckled, a sweet, friendly face. Big round glasses, long, slightly messy strawberry blond (in a tiny ponytail as you saw with his back turned), and a softly anxious smile. “I’m sorry, this is…. very irregular, I just….” He stammers as he walks to you.

You blush, mouth slightly open as you stare at him. You back up against the door when he walks over, in shock. “Ah… Father, I– what’s going on?”

He crosses himself, stopping as you back away. “I swear I mean you no harm,” he says gently, “…. Heavens though are you beautiful…. Ah!  My apologies. T-this is- I shouldn’t have-”

“No, I believe you! I just… nothing like this has ever happened to me before…” You offer him a small smile. “… You’re really cute.”

The flush is instant, deep, and he turns his head away. “I-I, ah” Hands wringing, searching for what to say. “This is… Deeply inappropriate…. But…” He looks at you again, a small, uncertain smile. “… I’m not sure what I’m doing, Lord forgive me, but I felt we had to meet.”

“You don’t have to feel bad, I just…” Now it’s your turn to look away, your eyes fixed on the floor. “This is just unexpected! it doesn’t mean it’s bad.” You’re quiet for a moment, and then- “… Do you want my number??”

“Ah, I…. I shouldn’t,” He answers quietly, looking down at himself. “I don’t have a cell phone, but… you can call the church office between services and I’ll usually answer, or…” He looks up, shy hope in his eyes. “… You could come back to confession any time.”

You laugh a bit, covering your mouth with your hand. “You’re actually going to make me want to come to church…. but that seems a bit excessive. Can’t we get coffee, or…?”

His face falls a little and he looks back down. “I… can’t be seen, um, fraternizing with the congregation… outside of my duties. There would be scandal…”

“Really…?” You frown too. “Well… I guess I’ll be back tomorrow. Can I at least have your name…?”

“Oh, I’m so sorry-” He extends a hand and smiles. “Father Sebastian Wynter.”

“Sebastian…” You roll it over in your mouth with a smile before shaking his hand and telling him your name.

He covers you hand in his with his own, holding it for a moment, his gentle grip nearly burning hot. “It’s good to meet you,” He smiles softly, a touch of pink on his cheeks. “…. Safe travels.”

Your face falls at his words. “Oh… yeah, I guess you have to get back to work… Will you be here tomorrow?”

“I’m always here, not to worry.” A sympathetic smile.

“Then I guess I’ll see you then!” You smile back at him and leave through the same door you came in.

The next day, back in church, you look and feel out of place; the nicest thing you had was something that makes you look like a member of the Addams family. Avoiding the looks you’re getting, you duck into the confession booth.

A soft voice from the other side. “God bless you, my child.” And silence.

“Um… Sebastian, is that you?”

A little gasp. “Oh! You came back…” A moment’s pause- “… Was there anyone else waiting?”

“Uh, i didn’t see anyone else out there. looks like everyone’s just chatting after the service.”

“Ah, then… The door, then.” There’s the rustling of fabric as he moves, and the quiet click of the exit on his side.

“The same one…? Okay…” You get up and head through the door at the back of the aisle, adjusting your clothes as you look up at him. “I thought we were just going to talk in there… it’s nice to be able to see you, though.”

He looks surprised. “Oh, ah- my apologies, I shouldn’t have assumed-” And then his eyes flick guiltily over you, and his eyes widen, and he blushes.

Your eyes go wide too, and you smile nervously. “…What is it? Is there something wrong?”

He jolts slightly with a barely audible gasp, looks away. Crosses himself. “N-no, I just… I’ll need to add to my nightly penance. A pause, and he looks back, his expression warm, almost glowing… with a hint of something off. ”…… You are so very beautiful….“

“Thank you, um…” Confused, and fidgeting with the hem of your sleeve- you do like him but this is pretty weird… “What do you mean by nightly penance?”

He glances back down, nervous again. “Part of my devotion to God is penance for my sins. I can’t do confession, after all,” A short, sheepish laugh. “I… shouldn’t be fraternizing like this, a-and…” He murmurs, mortified, under his breath. “……. Impure thoughts.”

“Is this really that bad? I mean, I don’t even go here regularly. I don’t believe in this stuff… I only came here to talk to you, and the day before someone else took me. Does that really count as fraternization…?” You take a step closer, looking up with a worried expression. “I… really don’t think it’s a bad thing if we go out and get coffee.”

His nervousness clearly increases as you come closer, and he wrings his hands as he speaks. “Y-you may not, my dear, but I’ve quite literally dedicated my life to it… Priests, you see-” He sighs, takes a deep breath, and starts again. “…. Priests take a vow of celibacy. We aren’t supposed to go to coffee with people for… r-romantic reasons.” A pause, and more quietly.“….. E-even if we want to.”

Your face falls, but you don’t move to leave. “…Oh… I see…”

A few moments of awkward silence. “….. We could talk here,” He suggests, quiet, hopeful.

“… In this weird little back room…? I guess we could, yeah…” You’re quiet for a bit longer, and then, “Do you want anything out of this? Or do you just want someone to talk to..? Either one is fine! I’m just… I like to know what I’m in for..”

His eyes flick away, his smile gone. “…. I….. I don’t know…. I….”

“I’m sorry! I didn’t mean to upset you..  This is just a pretty new experience for me, and I just wanted to clarify…”

“N-no! No, you- you didn’t, it’s alright! It’s…” He looks away again, this time blushing profusely. “… It’s also very new for me. Uh,” He gestures to a couple of old wooden chairs. “Shall we sit?”

You look around before nodding at him, sitting on one of them as you look at your feet. “Can I ask you a question..?”

“A-ah, yes, of course.”

“Why did you want to meet me so badly…? Do you usually talk to people in this back room?”

That blush gets worse. “….. No. I don’t. This is… Just a room for clergy…” “…. I wanted to meet you b-because….” He hesitates, looks away, voice barely audible. “…. Because the person you described as your ideal partner sounded very much like me.”

Your eyes go a bit wide, you actually weren’t expecting that… “O-oh. really?? I thought so too, when I first saw you, actually…” You mumble that last part, looking away when you say it.

A long, awkward silence drags on in the little space.

“….. S-so! What are your hobbies!”

“Oh! Uh, I like scary movies and comics! How about you…? Anything besides, uh… God stuff?”

“Ah! I, ah, enjoy the occasional horror movie as well… They’re… A guilty thing, hardly appropriate, but…. Well. Do you… Have a favourite type?”

Your eyes light up. “Oh, you do? Really? I love slasher films, Scream is my favourite, but I really like found footage too! What about you?”

“Oh, y-yes, those… all of those are good, heh,” He wrings his hands. “Some quieter Japanese horror is also… fascinating….”

“Oh! I just watched The Ring last week!”

“That’s wonderful… That sounds like such a… p-pleasant experience….” Wring, wring. “… It would be so lovely to watch them with you….” He murmurs, looking away.

“I’d love that!” Your face falls. ”… But you can’t, can you? Fraternization, and all that…“

"I’ll… I’ll see what I can do. All we have in the church is an old TV-VCR for the children… If we had a laptop….”

“I have a laptop! But it’s at home…” You pause. “… You know, I’m used to movie nights where we go to each other’s houses…”

He looks aghast for a moment but it melts into thought. “…. If it was after hours… it could…. greatly lessen the risk of being seen…..”

“Yeah, see! We could even go to a bar or something… When exactly is after hours?”

The look of horror is back. “A- a bar? Oh, heavens no-” He clears his throat and smooths his robes over his lap. “Ah… 9 or 10pm would be best.”

“It was just a suggestion!  Sorry… I keep forgetting you’re an actual priest.” You laugh nervously.  "Well, perfect! That’s when I’m usually off work, but… What time is it now?”

He looks over to an old clock- “Ah… about 1pm…. It would be a while from now…. regrettably.”

“Oh! you could just– No, no, don’t listen to me. Nevermind!” You laugh again. “Never mind. Do you wanna just meet tonight, then?”

“W-wait, what-” If this man wrings his hands any more, they’re going to be raw. “Forgive me… what were you going to say…?”

“Ah, uh…. There’s a joke about satanic temptation in here, but… I was just gonna say that, uh. You could skip out on your church bullshit?”

He puts a damn hand to his heart and looks prone to faint “My—! My church–!!”

“N- no, you’re right, that’s… that’s not a good idea….”

He looks away and murmurs. “M-maybe none of this is a… good idea…”

You touch his arm, concerned. “I’m sorry! I wasn’t actually suggesting that you–” He made a little sound when you touched him, and now he’s REALLY blushing. “Oh.”

“I-I guess not. I’m sorry. I can leave.”

“No! Please… N-no. To….tonight. I can… come by. Is…. is that alright?”

“If you want to. Only if you want to… Oh God, I’ve been pressuring you into all this, haven’t I…?“

"N-no! No, I-” He gently grabs your hand in both of his; they’re almost uncomfortably hot. “Please. I….. I’m not very… good. At this. But….” A small smile. “… I’d like to figure it out.”

You take a deep breath, and then another, trying to calm down. “Okay. I’m sorry. Where did you want to meet…? Just my apartment, or?”

“I suppose that would be best… If- If you’d be comfortable….?”

“Yeah, that’s fine..! I hope you don’t mind it being a bit messy… but i can clean before you get there! Here–” Digging in your pocket, you pull out a pen and paper and scribble your address onto it. “Will you be able to find it okay..?”

“Ah- yes. I’m sure I’ll be alright…. um… 9pm?”

“Sure!” Your smile is back for a moment, but it fades again.  "Ah.. I’m sure you have to get back to your, uh, church bullshit.“

He laughs awkwardly this time. "Ah! Y-yes… church, uh, things, heh…” He gets up. “I, uh… It’s been very lovely seeing you again, dear- I mean, ah. I… very much look forward to tonight….”

“Yeah, I’m excited!” You get up too. “I’m… still really sorry if I upset you at all.”

“Oh, no! Please don’t worry… You’re very sweet and kind, I’m simply… not used to this,” He smiles. Awkward silence… then he kinda does a half-bow. “I’ll… I’ll see you later.”

You’re about to leave, but… “Oh… one more thing! What should I call you?”

“Oh! Um… Just… Sebastian, I suppose, as long as we’re out of earshot of everyone here…”

“Okay! Well…” You smile, “I’ll see you tonight.. Sebastian.“

A shaky smile. "Until then.”

He waits for you to leave before following.  Spends the whole day beside himself with nerves; several people ask him if he’s sick and insist he rest, but he insists in turn that he’s fine. He’s so relieved when he’s finally home… But then he remembers why he’s home, and the nerves return tenfold. He takes a shower, makes himself presentable… All the while wondering what the fuck he’s doing. When he rings the doorbell, his heart feels fit to burst out of his chest.

There’s a thump, a muffled ‘shit!’ from behind the door, the sound of the lock clicking, and then there you are, holding the door open. You’d swapped out your attempt at a church outfit for simple black jeans and a t-shirt.

“Hi..! I’m glad you found the place okay, come on in!” It’s a small apartment, opening up into the living room, a decently sized tv, surrounded by shelves and shelves of horror films both on DVD and VHS. To top everything off, there’s a large tapestry covering the window emblazoned with a pentagram.

He’s smiling, but he looks distinctly on edge; even despite the immaculate white button down under a beige sweater vest and slightly darker slacks, the creases down the fronts perfectly pressed right down to gleaming dress shoes. “H-hello!” He answers, stepping inside and nearly falling over at the sight of the flag. He crosses himself, murmuring a prayer under his breath automatically.

“Oh…!  You look so nice, I wasn’t expecting– Woah!” You put your hands out to steady him. “Are you okay? Do you need water??  Here, come sit…” You rest a hand on his back, guiding him to the couch.

He doesn’t budge. Like he’s frozen. He’s staring at that flag… won’t go any closer to it, still murmuring prayers.

“Sebastian…? H-hey.. what’s wrong?“

His eyes snap to you almost like he was in a trance. "I–” He takes a breath. “…I wasn’t expecting, ah- s-satanic m…materials. Blasphemy is, v-very uncomfortable….”

“Oh! Oh god, I’m so sorry, I thought I told you I was a satanist!! Uh… here, I can take it down, okay?” You offer an attempt at a reassuring smile. “And we can just… not go into my room!”

He’s still gazing at the tapestry, now as if lost in thought, not looking at you. “… My dear…. w-why would you want to spend time with someone like me?”

Your face falls for what feels like the millionth time today, and you start fidgeting with the hem of your shirt again. “I could ask you the same thing…“

"D-do…. Do you want me to be here? I…. I just don’t understand…. Are you seeking… salvation? Penance? C-…. companionship? I-I’m not sure if I should be concerned this is a cry for assistance or-”

“I… I thought… Earlier, you said that my ideal partner sounded a lot like yourself, and I…. I don’t know, it’s dumb for me to get my hopes up about things like that, but…..”

You look down at your feet. “It’s not a cry for help, I don’t want to atone for anything… I just like you.”

His voice is very very soft and gentle. “I…. I admit to having allowed myself the unwise reverie of.. something… with you, but…. my dear, am I not….” He sighs. “I do try not to judge. These are modern times, a-and things are changing, but… Would I not be…. an ill fit for you because of, well….?” He pulls a long silver chain out from under his shirt, a large, fine-looking silver cross dangling from it.

“I… I didn’t think it would be that big of a deal, I…” You sigh. “You… you don’t have to stay if you don’t want to. I can tell you’re uncomfortable. I’m sorry, Sebastian…”

He smiles, shakily. “I… I am. But I’m… always uncomfortable. Especially, ah…” He nervously runs a hand through his hair to get it out of his face. “E-especially… out of my element. Please understand… I’ve, ah, not been on…. a date, um… well. Ever….”

“Wait, ever? Not at all? Not even in high school?”

He’s blushing terribly. “Er, y-yes. I… I went to an all boy’s Catholic school, and the same for college and seminary school…. And since then, the, heh, the vows and all, so….” There he goes wringing his hands again…

“Oh… Oh, wow.” You blink at him, eyes wide. “You’re dedicated, aren’t you..? Wow…. Well, first, why don’t you sit down…? I can get you a glass of water or something, if you want.”

“Y-yes, it’s… been my life’s passion- oh,” He goes, somewhat hesitantly, over to the couch, and sits primly, clearly feeling very awkward. “That would be lovely, th-thank you very much.”

“… Sure.” You smile a bit, going over to the kitchen and returning soon after with some water, setting the glass on the coffee table in front of him before sitting down next to him. “So! Movie? Video game? … Board game?”

He tenses right up as you sit down, eyes darting to look at you even though he’s still facing perfectly forward, hands folded in his lap like he’s been posed for a family photo. You’re close enough that the scent of you wafts over to him, and suddenly he’s very very glad his hands are hiding his lap. “… The plan was, ah, a movie, yes? Some horror, I believe…”

“Oh, sure! Have you seen Scream? It’s my favorite!“

"I’ve been, ah, meaning to watch those…”

Your face lights up. “So you haven’t seen it yet? Perfect!” You jump up and head over to the shelf, bending down to grab the dvd before popping it in the player and getting everything set up.

His eyes are on your rear before he can stop them, and he’s immediately looking away and berating himself, murmuring yet another prayer to keep himself from temptation. His pants are…. Uncomfortable.

You turn around, smiling and blissfully unaware, before sitting back down next to him. You’re a bit closer to him than you were before, though not on purpose. “Do you need anything else before I start the movie?” You ask, remote in hand.

“Ah, no, thank you! You’re a wonderful host,” He smiles. “Sh-shall we?”

“Aw, thank you!”  You smile at him before nodding and pressing play, setting the remote down and getting comfortable.

He does not move, sitting stiffly like he’s made of wood. He anxiously tries to ignore your proximity and focus on the movie… But his breath catches ever so softly at the first onscreen shriek and spray of blood.

You look over at him, tilting your head. “… Are you okay? You said you liked horror, but… is this too bloody?”  Scooting closer to him, you hover a hand over his arm, worried

The slightest jolt. He looks over and smiles. “Oh, no, I’m fine. Please don’t worry!” His pants are growing painful.

“Well… just let me know, okay?” Smiling at him, you settle back onto the couch without moving back over.

Someone else on screen dies a gory, noisy death. His heart is pounding out of his chest as he desperately prays for strength to control himself. But the next death is too full of deliciously real screams of pain and fear, clothing torn, skin showing, blood pouring over it so tantalizingly that he breaks. “E-excuse me,” he breathes, and nearly trips over himself hurrying to the washroom, practically bodyslamming the door closed. He can’t get his pants open fast enough, already a slick mess of pre anyway, and he half-sobs silently into his free hand while the other strokes a desperately quick pace.

“W-wait, Sebastian, are you–?” But he’s already slammed the door before you can catch him. Getting up and pausing the movie, you head over to the bathroom door, knocking softly. “Sebastian…? Are you okay? Please tell me you’re not getting sick…”

He turns on the water. “I’m fine!!” He calls, almost even-voiced. “Just, nature calls! Heh,” Can a meteor strike him right now please? You being at the door amplifies his shame to a fever pitch, which, for some reason, his dick doesn’t seem to object to. An image of you bending over in front of the TV flits, unbidden, over his memory…. It’s immediately changed to less clothes… bare skin… blood over that beautiful smoothness, and- His whole body jolts as he curls in on himself, biting his fist to stay silent- successfully, thank God- and he catches his breath for a moment before running his messy palm under the water.

“O-oh, sorry!” You call, a bit embarrassed now. “You got up so quickly, I thought you had to throw up or something…” Muttering another apology under your breath, you get up and head back to your spot.

It’s a few more minutes before he comes out; having washed his hands and fixed himself all up. “Sorry about that,” He smiles, “I, ah, suppose I’m a little nervous. Shall we continue?”

“That’s okay!”  You reply quickly, unsuspicious. “I didn’t mean to, like… pretty much follow you into the bathroom, haha. I was just worried this movie was too much! Are you sure you want to keep watching?  It gets bloodier.”

“Ah, I assure you, it’s fine. I’ve seen many movies of this sort…” He sits back down, folding his hands primly in his lap again… With the left one covered.

“Alright then!” You press play, glancing over at him. “…You’ll tell me if you’re uncomfortable though, right? I worry…”

“Oh of course! You’re very kind….” But nothing untoward happens for the rest of the film.

As the credits roll, you get up, bending over again to pop the DVD out of the player and put it back on the shelf. “Wanna do something else?” You ask, without turning around.

He tries to look away, but ends up looking right at the flag again… So he stares at the floor instead. “Ah… It’s getting late, I should… I should probably be getting back….”

“Oh…” Your shoulders slump as you get back to your feet, turning around to face him. “Is it that late already…? I was having so much fun with you, I didn’t even notice…. It’s been a while since I’ve had any guests, haha.. Here, um… I can walk you to your car…?”

“Ah… I’m very sorry, my dear,” He smiles apologetically. “It’s just that I need to be up at 5 to be ready for service… D-don’t worry, though! We could do this again!”

Your eyes widen a bit. “Holy shit, 5 am?! Gross…” But suddenly you have an idea, and you make a mental note to check your work schedule to see whether or not you open tomorrow. “I’d really like to do this again..! I can put the tapestry away next time!”

“Ah! A-as long as there’s something else covering the window, I suppose….”

He stands there awkwardly, not sure what to say next.  "Er…. See you at church….?“

"I was going to walk you to your car, if that’s okay?” You move over to the door, opening it for him. “The least I can do…”

“C-certainly, heh…. Such a fine host…..” He follows, his nerves amping back up fast, and he shoves his hands in his pockets.

You laugh a little, shutting and locking the door behind you as you lead him down to the parking lot. “Which car is yours…?”

“Th-this one, here we are…” It has standard keys… No autolock… It’s also beige. He turns to face you, smiling. “Thank you, you. It’s been a lovely evening….”

“Yeah! I had fun! I really hope you did too. I’ll see you again soon, and maybe next time I can make us dinner or something..!”

“Oh! Th-that would be, ah, very nice…. How kind of you to offer.” The sweet, excited, earnest look on your face melts his heart, and something twists deep inside…. I don’t want you to look at anyone else like that, ever!

He inhales a little sharply, then smiles. “I suppose this is goodnight…”

“Yeah…” You nod, but don’t move to leave, looking very hesitant. He pauses too, but finally he smiles and turns to get into his car.

“Good night, Sebastian…”

You watch him drive away with a dull pain in your chest, but your heart’s still pounding hard when you think about surprising him at the morning service tomorrow .

And he gets home a wreck. His trip to the bathroom at your house is only the first that night, and by the third he’s in tears… He pays his penance viciously afterwards, so much so he isn’t able to sleep for hours from the pain. But he’s there in church in the morning before anyone else, a beacon of light as always.

You didn’t manage to sleep at all, too nervous that you’d sleep in and miss the morning service, but there you are, all dressed up in your best attempt to look nice for him. Too afraid to sit near the front and risk getting caught up in conversation with someone, you find a seat in the back and wait for the service to start.

The congregation hushes as Sebastian steps to the podium; he smiles and nods in greeting to everyone, about to begin his sermon- when he spots you, who blends into the crowd here like a peacock in a bookstore. His jaw half-drops, moves like he’s trying to find words, but they’ve all left him; last night all comes back and smacks him over the head with the force of a flying brick, and in a second he’s blushing and acutely aware that he now needs to stay behind the podium…. he reaches forward to rest his hands on it, to steady himself, gain some composure- but all it does is remind him of how incredibly sore his back is. People are starting to murmur, confused. Finally, he smiles again, and apologizes, charming and collected- nothing like the stuttering mess you’re used to.

His sermon is remarkably captivating, the audience not making a peep throughout… and once he’s finished, he leads them through prayers, then blessing newcomers to the church and taking communion. Finally, he heads to the confession booth, getting entangled in conversation many times along the way… until he slips inside and the door closes behind him.

You wait a while, this time…. It seems like half the congregation has something to get off their chests. People scurry in and out, heads down, one after the other… but finally, people are starting to disperse and you have your chance.

“Hi, Sebastian… I’m sorry if I shouldn’t have come here, I just wanted to surprise you!”

There’s a soft gasp at the sound of your voice, interrupting his quiet standard greeting. “O-oh! H-hello, dear…. Er, d-did you enjoy the service….?” He asks, sounding heartrendingly hopeful.

You hesitate. “Um, I felt really out of place, and I wasn’t sure what was going on… I didn’t know any of the prayers, but…. You were so passionate about what you were doing! I really enjoyed that….”

He looks a little concerned at you words until you praise his sermon, and then he lights up a little, colour dusting his cheeks. “Ah… Y-you’re so very kind, thank you.” He hesitates. “….. I could teach you the prayers… We could do your blessing and communion right now, even…”

“You could…? Would you really teach me? ….. Um, what’s the blessing? And ‘communion’?”

He lights right up at the first half of you words- I could save you after all!! - but he stops dead “Ah… I’d anoint you with holy water, and then you take the bread and wine that is the body and blood of Christ, if you choose to let him into your heart to save your soul…”

There’s another pause, this time much longer and much more uncomfortable. “Uh… the holy water thing is fine, I guess, but… Does my soul really need to be saved?”

“W-well…..” He stares at his feet, wringing his hands again, voice quiet. “An unsaved soul goes to the fires…. The idea of you suffering like that for eternity is….” His breath hitches, and he looks away.

“Well, I mean…. I don’t really think that’s going to happen to me? I don’t even really think there is much of an afterlife, and if there is, I’ll probably party it up in hell anyway. Because, well, you know. Satanist.” .

The look he fixes you with is pure, unfiltered worry and heartbreak, genuine concern, big blue eyes glassy in the low light. All he can do is blink a few times, opening his mouth like he wants to say something, closing it again… And finally he sighs and looks back down. His voice cracks slightly. “I…. I see.”

Your eyes are wide and apologetic, asking for forgiveness. “Wait! All I was trying to say was that I won’t suffer, so please don’t worry! I’ll be okay…”

“I’m….. I’m afraid that’s not how it works in the eyes of the Lord, m-my dear, but….. I cannot- will not- force you. I, ah-” He heaves a sigh, bringing a shaky smile back to his face as he runs a hand through his hair. “D-did you… did you still want to learn the prayers…?”

“I… yeah! If it would make you happy…!“

And his face falls again. ”…. Ah. If it’s only for me, then… that’s alright. I, ah, appreciate your… consideration… you’re very kind.“ You frown too, hearing the dismay in his voice. You don’t want to be involved in this stuff at all, but maybe it was a mistake to tell him that… you just want to make him happy.

He tries to stretch a little and flinches… then flusters. Right. Last night…

"Er-” He starts again, awkwardly, “-I must attend to the flock for several more hours, but, ah…. If you wanted to…. watch another film tonight…..?”

You perk right up at his offer. “Really? Yeah!! I can make dinner for you and everything!”

He smiles, a little tightly, but he eases after a moment. “That’s, ah, very generous of you, my dear… What time would be appropriate…?”

You sigh, releasing a breath you didn’t even realize you were holding. “It just depends on when you’re free tonight!”

“I believe… I should be free at eight o'clock, provided all goes well… would… would that be alright?”

“Yes!! I’ll be ready then! Do you remember my address? ’ll cook something I think you’ll like, I’ll take down my tapestry, I’ll pick a good movie…! I’ll make sure you have fun!”

“Ah, y- yes. I do. You’re very kind, you…. I’m… Very grateful.” A pause. “…. I should return to my duties… Until tonight, then?”

“Okay! I’ll see you later!” And with that, you duck out of the confession booth.

That night, you’re setting two plates of spaghetti and meatballs onto the coffee table, along with a basket of garlic bread and two glasses of water. You aren’t sure if he likes soda, and alcohol was definitely a no-go, so… Water was the safest option there. With the DVD menu for a movie playing at a nice low volume, that tapestry safely tucked away, and a few candles lit, you do one last check to make sure everything is in order.

At eight o'clock exactly there’s a crisp knock on the door, and there he is again- a nice sweater with a collared shirt under it, pleated slacks, shining dress shoes, his red-golden hair tied up neatly at his nape, his bangs partly tucked behind his ears. He’s smiling, looking as nervous as ever, and he’s holding…. A fruit basket.

You jump a bit before going over to open the door, resisting the urge to hug him and just giving him a bright smile instead. “Hi, Sebastian…! Come in!!” You step aside to let him in before going to sit on the couch, patting the spot beside you. “I technically have a kitchen table, but I thought it would be more fun to eat while we watched movies!”

“Oh! How… novel!” He smiles, clearly having never done such a thing before. He hands over the gift a little awkwardly, not sure what to do with his hands a moment later. He sits where you indicate, folding his hands in his lap just like the first time. “It smells wonderful, you…! Ah, what are we watching…?”

“Thank you! This is pretty…. Oh, It’s another horror, a bit lower key this time. It’s about ghosts! I really like it, hopefully you will too.”

“My pleasure, not at all, not at all… I hope you, heh, enjoy it…” Another awkward pause. He obviously had no idea what to get you. “Ah, ghosts? That sounds…. Interesting…. Not about the Holy Ghost, I take it? Heh….”

You laugh a bit, still holding the fruit basket on your lap. “No, it’s… kind of hard to describe. You’ll see, and it’s not bloody or anything.” Pressing play and carefully putting the fruit basket aside, you pull your plate of spaghetti over to you and take a bite as the opening credits start.

He just laughs a little and takes his plate, but then pauses- “Ah, might there be a napkin I could use, dear?”

“Oh!” You set your plate down immediately. “Of course! Let me go grab some!” You hop up and rush into the kitchen, returning shortly after with a small stack. “Here you go!”

He stares at them, confused, for a good second, then hesitantly reaches out and takes one.

“Ah! T-thank you….” He unfolds it, all the way. Looks at it despairingly. Drapes it over his lap anyway.

You tilt your head, confused. “Is something wrong? Sorry if they’re shitty– uh, bad, I mean.”

“Oh, ah, it’s alright! Please don’t worry, dear. Thank you! Let’s say grace-” He takes one of your hands gently as he bows his head. They’re soft. Surprisingly so, for how big they are, and so warm it almost feels like he might have a fever. “Bless us, oh Lord, and these gifts-” He stops suddenly. “…. Ah, I- I shouldn’t- I don’t want to offend-”

The moment he grabs your hand, you drop the fork that you had just grabbed, and cringe as it clatters loudly onto the plate. For some reason, you didn’t even think about the fact that he’d want to say grace… More importantly, Sebastian is holding your hand. It takes a significant amount of willpower for you to not do anything weird, but you allow yourself this blissful moment- before coming back to reality. “No, it’s okay! If you want to, please go ahead.. it doesn’t offend me at all,” You offer gently.

He’s just staring at you, expression nervous but unreadable, the pulse felt through his palm strong and fast. He looks at you, then at your as if willing himself to let go, but he doesn’t, and the seconds tick by, and that beat only speeds up. He drops you hand and stands suddenly. "E- excuse me,” He stutters, and the bathroom door slams a second later.

“Ah… Sebastian, are you–?”  This time you don’t make any move to catch him or follow him, in the hopes that he’ll feel less uncomfortable. A heavy sigh, and you lean back on the couch, staring at the spaghetti on the table in front of you. And then hear something- it’s quick, and it’s quiet, but it almost sounded like a moan. More specifically, someone trying to muffle a moan.

You freeze. Oh my god, no. That couldn’t have been.. he’s not…. he can’t be! …but what if he is?

Despite your mind screaming at you not to, to sit back down and just wait for him like a normal person, you slowly stand, making your way over to the bathroom door- and this time unmistakable now that you’re closer, definitely Sebastian, definitely stifled. You knock softly.

The bathroom goes utterly silent, and there’s a few pregnant seconds before anything else. “I- I’ll just be a moment!” He calls, clearly trying to sound normal, but his voice is strained and from here you can hear that he’s breathless…

You stand there trying to figure out what the fuck you’re supposed to say. What are you supposed to say when your date ends up doing that in your bathroom?

It’s now or never.  "…Sebastian, I… I would. Um. I’d like you to come out here, please.“

Clearly trying to convince you that he’s only in your bathroom to relieve himself in the regular way, he makes an attempt at a joke in reply- "Haha! I’m, er, I prefer privacy when nature calls, j-just a moment-”

“… I heard you. Please come out here.“

Dead fucking silence.

For a while, it seems like he’s just going to pretend he doesn’t exist. Then finally, finally, there’s the sound of the tap running, then the soft click of the doorknob, and he comes out looking like he desperately wants to be struck down by holy retribution. Whole body stiff. Arms at his sides. His hair is in his face, but his head is partly turned away anyway, and what skin is visible is so incredibly red it looks like he somehow got a third-degree sunburn while he was in there. He says nothing.

You aren’t looking at him, either. There’s an uncomfortable silence before you take a breath, measuring what you’re about to say.

"I… suppose I just– I don’t quite understand why you need to hide in the bathroom and take care of yourself like that when you’re on a date with me.” Flushed, the back of your mind still screaming at you, you step forward, close enough to kiss him if you leaned up.

“I mean… I’m right here.”

His breath catches, barely audible, as he states down at you with wide, almost wild eyes, but he’s looked away again a second later. “I–!” He already sounds choked up. “I’m not supposed to do anything like this! To be here! And yet here I am, letting my sinful desires get the better of me, I– I can’t even show my gratitude for your hospitality! I should- I should go-” And he moves to extract himself from between you and the bathroom door.

“What?! No, please–” In a moment of panic and tearing up, you grab him, both hands holding tightly onto his upper arms. “I want you to stay! You said you aren’t even supposed to be here, but you drove here, twice! You listened to me that first day in confession, and you wanted to meet me in the back room! So you must want this as much as I do…!”

The second you touch him, he freezes; and he stays like that, still as death, until you’re silent again. Moments pass, his eyes never wavering from you.

Your voice softens, gaze sliding down to the floor along with your grip on his arms. “….Don’t go. I really want you to stay, and um…”

“….. I could help you take care of that.”

….. Slowly, hesitantly, he raises a hand to your face, fingertips ghosting down your jaw with agonizing slowness… His wide eyes flick down and fixate on your lips, and his thumb follows, brushing over the soft skin with reverence and disbelief. you can feel his hand shaking.

In complete awe, your eyes lidded and lips parted slightly, you melt into his touch.

“Sebastian…” Your voice is soft. “Come closer…”

His breathing has already picked back up, the tremble in it audible, but he does as you ask… Shuffling awkwardly forward and curling an arm around your waist, but there’s still space between your bodies. He starts to lean down, painfully slow like before, but soon enough his face is only an inch away from you, flushed deeply, sweat beading on his temples, breath heavy as if he’d already been making out for a while…. though his eyes are still as big as ever.

Unable to wait any longer, you grab the front of his shirt and yank him down, standing on your tiptoes as you press your lips to his. Everything you’ve been too afraid to tell him pours into the kiss. Your arms wrap softly around his neck and you pull him closer, one of your hands moving to run through his hair.

Barely a second after your lips touch, he convulses with a strangled groan, fingers digging into you back as he nearly doubles over- not breaking the kiss, but effectively dipping you by accident. He pulls off a moment later only to gasp into your shoulder, the shaking even worse now.

You decide not to ask about it, not wanting to make him feel worse than he probably already does. Moving your hand down to rub his back, all you want to do is comfort him. You’re tempted to ask him if this is better than hiding in the bathroom, but you keep your mouth shut, opting for a sweet forehead kiss instead.

He just clings to you for a few long moments, his trembling never fading, his hair slightly damp, skin misted, head down…. until suddenly he’s kissing you again, aggressively, but with a side of near-adolescent uncoordination, his hands running up you sides as he groans, furtively groping at your chest, pulling at your clothes.

You let out a tiny sound of surprise, melting into his touch. Your hands find his shoulders before stroking slowly down his chest, then you pull away for just a moment.  "Sebastian.. let’s go to my room–“

He almost doesn’t seem to hear you for a few seconds, too distracted with getting his hands anywhere he can reach- but he relents, pulling back just enough to give you a little nod, all burning eyes and red ears. The intensity falters slightly, his characteristic nerves showing through, but he follows where you lead.

Pulling urgently on his wrist, you lead him into your bedroom, hoping the altar in the corner is inconspicuous enough. You throw yourself onto your unmade bed, and with another excited tug, you’re pulling him on top of you. Eyes glazed, unfocused, lips parted in a pant as he finds himself barely balanced over you; he’d be mortified by how obvious his hardon is like this (never mind the mess) if he wasn’t miles away right now. He’s back to it in a blink, your shirt  pulled up and his hands on your chest, then his mouth…. He’s clearly never done this before, and it’s like he wants to do everything first, hands wandering with fervour and impatience. The only hesitation is when his fingertips graze the top hem of your underwear- he pulls his hand away, pauses for an uncertain second, and goes back to kissing you instead.

"Sebastian…” You breathe, your voice soft, giggling at the sudden touch, but your laughter quickly dissolves into happy moans. Despite his inexperience, you’re very much enjoying yourself. Reaching a hand out, you stroke through his hair, gently encouraging him to keep going. Your breath hitches in anticipation upon feeling his hand move down for just a moment– before he pulls away. You open your mouth to protest, but you’re cut off by another kiss before you can say anything. Grinning against his lips, you push him away just enough for you to speak. “Why’d you move your hand? I want you…”

That purr from you, that tone, drags a moan out of him as you fingers catch on his hair tie, spilling loose red-gold locks against his burning face. “A Thiarna, déan trócaire orm,” He hisses desperately against your neck, gone to hide and lay sloppy kisses against your skin as his hand snakes down between you- and right down the offending garment. The sound out of him at what he finds is accompanied by another shudder, different this time, palm slipping up slowly, then down- and then he yanks your underwear off and himself down, devouring you before you can blink.

---

[softstraykidsimagines]

Variety show

Summary: You and Jeongin, by some happy (or not?) coincidence, ended up on the same variety show, but could you both keep your relationship a secret with prying questions?

Requested: yes

Pairing: Jeongin x Reader

Genre: angst, fluff, idol AU

Word count: 3.5k words

Warnings: written at 11pm, so probs sometimes weird sounding and im too tired to check

A/N: 1) don’t even ask me abt the group name idek what i was thinking. 2) DAmn sON i didn’t mean to make it this long. 3) fun fact: at first this was gonna be a comedic bulletpoint story, then i changed it to a feeble emotional roller coaster (i really do mean feeble af). 4) i hope you like it <33

MASTERLIST

“Please welcome our wonderful guests, Five Times Brighter!!!”, called the MC, followed by the cheers from the audience. One by one your group members and yourself filed out onto the small stage to greet the crowd. You were quickly ushered into a seat, where you could witness the sheer amount of people who had come to watch, obscured slightly by the blinding glare of the stage lights.

You felt your throat tighten. This better work out, you thought, feeling ill at ease by knowing there must have been at least ten cameras pointed at you and your comrades. What would we do if anyone found out? You shook your head violently with a pout. Stop it. Nothing’s gonna happen. You’re overreacting...

You were jolted out of your thoughts by the voice of the MC as he raised his voice again. “And now please welcome the rookie legends themselves! The great award winners, Stray Kids!!!” The room erupted into screams of fans as the nine handsome boys jogged out from backstage.

Your stomach did an uncomfortable somersault. Don’t make eye contact! If you do, someone will definitely notice!! Then you’re finished!!! You mentally slapped yourself and took a deep breath. You then realized that you’d placed your index and middle finger against your throat, an uncanny imitation of Felix taking his pulse as he became nervous. You’d somehow picked up the habit from the cute Aussie boy as you hung out with him at the same time as Jeongin. With a gulp, you slammed your hand back onto your lap and stared unemotionally at the boys as they sat on the other couch across from you from the MC’s center chair.

When everyone had sat down, the room went annoyingly quiet. You swallowed back anger as you waited for the MC to ask something and distract you. Finally:

“First, I’d like to ask both groups if they could tell us what inspired certain songs in their album”. Some applause followed as you forced your muscles to relax. “Should we ask FTB first?” The crowd cheered.

Your smile started becoming a little more genuine. Nothing bad, just a mindless answer to your average question. The ‘What inspired you to write X’ question was always a default for some reason. But at least it was eas-

“Y/n!” The blood drained from your face at your name. Oh... oh no... “A little birdie told me”, the MC said cheekily, “that you wrote one of the most successful songs on the album. ‘Winged love’, wasn’t it?”

You started to loath the MC, or whoever had decided that that specific question would be a good one. It’s true, you had written and composed the song, but your inspiration was exactly what you wanted to avoid, as your mind flashed to moment you got the idea for the lyrics.

~~~~~~~~~

“Try to pick your feet up a bit more here”, you said, poking Jeongin’s leg as he posed awkwardly in front of the practice room mirror. He groaned in retaliation, muscles trembling from exhaustion.

“I can’t do it”, he whined. “It’s useless. Just go on without me and practice on your own. You’ll do so much better without me dragging you down”.

You scoffed without any amusement. “Like Hell I will. I’m staying right here until you can get this. I said I’d help, so I’m helping”. He gave you a pitiful look, and you smiled softly. “Let’s take a break, then. I’ve got biscuits!”

“I don’t usually eat at this hour”, Jeongin said hesitantly.

“You don’t usually practice at this hour”, you answered matter-of-factually. You didn’t wait for an answer and dragged your boyfriend down to the floor, rolling to your side and grabbing a huge packet full of snacks and tearing it open mercilessly. You offered one to the boy in front of you, who conceded with a sigh. “Cheers!” You knocked your biscuit against his, making a couple of crumbs fall to the ground, and shoved the entire thing into your mouth. Jeongin stared at you until you made a face, cookie still lodged between your cheeks, making him burst into laughter. You fought not to spit your snack out as you sniggered with him.

“How do you do that”, he asked.

“Mmmfmm ru wha”, you said, still trying to down your food.

“Always find a way to make me feel so much better, no matter how battered I feel”, he said, mesmerized. You stared at him uselessly, so he continued. “When I’ve been at my worst, or when I’ve felt like giving up, you’ve been there to pick me up. You’re like my pair of wings”. You stayed quiet, scared to knock him out of his reverie. He smiled faintly. “At this point, I could jump off a mountain, trusting you to catch me if you said you would. And I always feel safe with you. No matter what scares me, I feel better when you’re next to me, as if you’ve become a hypothetical shield. And I want to be the same, I want to always be there for you, whenever you’re feeling down, I want to be the first person you think of going to”. He suddenly curled his fingers and squeezed his eyes shut. “That was so cringey I’m sorry”.

You giggled softly and wrapped your arms around him, resting your head on his shoulder. “It’s a little cliche, I admit. But it’s the best kind of cliche. Because I feel the same way”. You lifted your head kissed his cheek. “I’ll always be right here. And I’ll always trust you to be there too”.

~~~~~~~~~

Your eyes came back into focus, as your mind started racing, scrounging for a decent story that could convince the public that it had nothing to do with the very boy who was sitting only five feet from you.

“Uh-uhhh”, your mind became completely blank. “My... One of my old friends”. You cleared your throat. “Whenever she was upset, I would want to do anything to make her feel better. And I did do some pretty stupid things”. You smiled sheepishly at the pitch black half of the room where the fans giggled in reaction to your stutter. Your confidence grew as you continued: “The lyrics represent what I wanted to be to her. I wanted her to feel as if she could trust me with anything at all. As if I could always pick her up if she felt low”. You finished and prayed that it was enough.

The MC nodded, thoughtful. “So she never said the things in the lyrics out loud?”

You shook your head. “She wasn’t the most extroverted person”, you answered. “But I hope that that’s how she felt”. At that, everyone seemed satisfied and applauded. You bobbed your head, looking back at your clenched fists in your lap. I’ve gotta be more careful. One slip-up and I’m in deep-

“How about our favorite maknae”, the MC laughed, turning to SKZ. Your pulse went sky-high again.

-shit.

Jeongin let his eyes go wide, and pointed at himself. “Na?” He asked in an innocent voice. Despite your nerves going crazy, you managed to chuckled along with everyone else at the cute act.

The MC wasn’t an exception, though he quickly regained his posture. “Yes, I believe it was you who wrote the song ‘Midnight Walk’, am I correct?”

The boy nodded with a bright smile. “That’s right! And the first ever song where I wrote one hundred percent of the lyrics!!” He glowed with pride, and a secret burst of happiness for him shot through you. You could still remember when he’d told you about his accomplished goal.

~~~~~~~~~

You swung your hand, latched onto Jeongin’s, back and forth as you both strolled down an empty trail that ran along the Han River. “So?”, you prompted.

He looked back at you. “What?” He was playing innocent. Of course he was. You giggled and started swinging your connected hands even more, feeling blood rush through your slightly chilled fingers. Without speaking, you both started skipping forward, bumping each other and giggling like children. You loved that. That you could both move in sync without having to communicate. This continued until you pulled him to a stop.

“Okay, now actually tell me. What did you wanna say earlier. You looked as if you were about to explode with excitement”.

Jeongin grinned happily. “I...” he spoke excruciatingly slowly. “...have written.... my own song! And it’s gonna be on the next album!!!!!” At this, he picked you up and spun you around, until you felt too dizzy to stand on your own.

You laughed with him, and leaned on him. “Jeonginie, that’s amazing! I’m so proud of you”. You kept clinging onto him. “What’s it called?”

“I haven’t decided yet”, he confessed. He was quiet for a moment. “Do you think I could name it after a fun memory with you? Without being too obvious, that is”.

You nodded. “Yeah, I think you could get away with it”.

And so he grinned broadly. “Okay, then. How about I call it midnight walk, after tonight?”

“Why tonight of all things? We’re just walking”, you asked incredulously.

“Because the simplest memories with you are the best”, he answered, squealing a bit at the overly sweet phrase.

You laughed. “Alright then. Are you allowed to spoil a few lyrics for me?”

“Of course”, said Jeongin, hoisting you up so that he was half carrying you. “It’s my song after all”. His voice went up a notch with happiness. “A few lines feel a bit random, without context; but just remember that I thought of you while writing them”. You hugged his arm until you thought you might be cutting his circulation. As you both kept walking, you slowly regained your balance and he listed a few lines from his oeuvre. That was the best walk at 1:30am you’d ever had.

~~~~~~~~~

Jeongin was still beaming at the MC, who began fanning himself dramatically. “His smile is so blinding”, he called, and there came calls of agreement from the audience. “But you still haven’t answered”. The room went silent again. “What inspired you to write the lyrics of ‘Midnight Walk’?”

Jeongin gave another dazzling smile. “It was a lot of different things; it took months of me scribbling down random ideas to be able to form something logical”.

The MC nodded again. “Of course, the lyrics do vary a lot. But I think we’re more interested in the more romantic sounding ones in the song”. The crowd ooh-ed, as if confirming the statement.

Your boyfriend grinned once more. “Well, those specific lines are dedicated to someone very special in my life”.

NO! You had to bite your tongue to stop yourself from yelling aloud. He knew about the warnings, as well as you.

~~~~~~~~~

“Both Stray Kids and Five Times Brighter Will be on a variety show on the second weekend of the month”, stated one of your managers, standing next to JYP himself. Everyone nodded together as the schedule was recited in its entirety. It was all standard, except for the fact that the two groups had never been on a same show.

As the schedule came to its end, both groups dispersed to continue practice, but JYP called Jeongin and yourself aside. “I’d like to specify something”, he said in a tone that let you know that nothing good was coming. “When you’re both on that variety show in the middle of the month, I don’t even want you two to make eye contact. We don’t want anyone knowing about your relationship. I’m warning you now, keep it under wraps, and there won’t be any problems”.

You and Jeongin nodded, eyes round. As JYP finally walked away, you turned to your boyfriend. “Why the Hell does he want us to stay a secret?”, you failed terribly at keeping the anger out of your voice. “You’re allowed to be dating by now, so am I. No one needs to know that we started going out before my ban was up. So what’s his problem?”

Jeongin pulled you against him. “I don’t know, but let’s just do as he said. I don’t wanna think about what could happen if something goes wrong”. You eventually agreed, still grudging.

“It’s still unfair that we have to hide when we’re so happy”.

~~~~~~~~~

The memory raged in your mind, nearly as loud as the screams of shock that wracked the studio at Jeongin’s words. Everyone stared at him with wide eyes, as he smiled calmly. Jeongin, what are you going??!!!!

“They’re dedicated to someone special in my life”. He had to raise his voice to make himself heard. “Whom I’ve not met yet”. There was a collective gasp at the strange turn in his statement. “One day, I want to be able to say those things to the love of my life, on a walk at one in the morning”.

Everyone aah-ed in understanding, and you let out a breath you didn’t know you’d been holding. You weren’t sure if you wanted to smack him or kiss him, but at least no one suspected anything anymore. And he’d very secretly hinted at the walk when he shared the lyrics with you, in the dead of night. Your heart swelled with warmth and love for the boy.

“Look at y/n, they’re blushing!”, yelled the MC. You were so shocked that you yelled out as everyone shouted teasingly. The MC started laughing. “Are you thinking of anyone in particular, y/n? Anyone you’d like to take a midnight walk with?” Electricity filled the air.

None of your damn business, you thought hotly. But of course it was. Your entire life was not yours to control, but the public’s. You made a face as if you’d swallowed a particularly sour lemon, which incidentally seemed to be a pretty good answer for the public.

“Apparently, y/n isn’t at all interested in a relationship”, chuckled the MC. He quickly continued with a bunch of other standard questions, and you imagined the different ways you could smack him and still get away with it. Maybe I should throw a bucket of water at him, then he wouldn’t be so obnoxiously happy, you thought, in your own world.

You werre making eye-contact with Jeongin, and realized with a start that you’d been staring at him this entire time. You checked that no one had remarked, but the cameras were strained on Changbin as he complained about being woken up too harshly by Woojin, to the amusement of most. You quickly stole another look at your boyfriend but, almost too subtle to notice, he shook his head, looking a bit panicky. You immediately understood and glanced elsewhere, trying to act interested in some tangled cables by a stage light.

When the questions had dragged on long enough to make your feet go numb, it was finally time for a game before the show came to an end. You stood up gratefully, hobbling a bit to get to stage right. You craned your neck to see what game you were meant to play against Stray Kids, and with a crashing wave of horror, you realized that Pocky Stick packets were sitting on the tiny stool near the stage wings. You saw from the corner of your eye that Jeongin was looking as displeased about the idea as you, even though everyone else seemed almost thrilled.

This is nuts, you kept repeating to yourself. Either I’ll have to play with one of SKZ, WHO KNOW JEONGIN AND I ARE DATING, or I play against Jeongin and people realize that we seem too comfortable. It’s a lose lose situation oh shit oh shit oh sh-

“How about the desert-fox-maknae and y/n, who seems so keen to avoid a little kiss!”, yelled the MC, who was tantalizingly close enough for you to punch. You faced Jeongin, who had become unusually pale, and you fought back your own panic as you were passed a Pocky Stick.

Your stomach churned as you both stared at each other, sweat beading at the hairline. Someone gave your shoulder a push --you didn’t know who, and you couldn’t force yourself to care-- and you bit into you end of the stick. Jeongin bit the other end and cheers rose in the crowd, deafening you and making your eyes water.

You weren’t sure how long you both kept staring at each other, but in the seconds --it could’ve been hours-- that Jeongin’s eyes bore into yours, something seemed to click in his mind, and he clenched his jaw with determination. You nibbled a bit of the Pocky Stick and noise in the room went up. Slowly the gap between your lips became smaller and smaller until you were close enough for you to hear his heartbeat, or maybe it was yours, pounding in your ears.

You squeezed your eyes shut, your senses completely abandoning you. We must be less than a centimeter apart! And then you felt a firm hand clasp your wrist. Before you could understand what was happening, Jeongin’s lips smacked against yours. But not by accident. This was with decision, the Pocky Stick forgotten. From habit, you kissed him back, your ears ringing. As you pulled away, you realized it had been him who had grabbed your wrist, and he’d put a the other hand on your waist to pull you closer. The ringing in your ears was from the screams that came from the audience.

Panic rose up in you again as what had happened sank in. We kissed... on live TV!! Your heart was in your throat. What’s going to happen to us? Jeongin said something that never made it to your ears, but looked something like ‘trust me’. He turned to everyone watching, now in a confused frenzy at what they’d witnessed. “Y/n and I are dating”, he stated simply, which was followed by an enormous uproar. He continued in a yell. “We weren’t meant to say anything, but I think it’s unfair that we have to keep our happiness a secret, just for the satisfaction of the public. So now you know!!!” His last words were drowned out by more screams of shock and confusion as you were both pulled off and away from stage.

You had become light-headed, everything becoming an incoherent blur as your receded into your own chaotic thoughts. What’s gonna happen what will JYP do to us will we be kicked out of the company oh god what if I become the reason for Jeongin leaving Stray Kids I couldn’t live with myself--

In your daze, you were pushed into a small waiting room. “Wait here”, said a gruff voice. I’m going to pass out! The world is tilting to the left! And now the right... Left.... Right.... You leaned against a wall and looked at Jeongin, who stared back at you, expressionless. After a few seconds, you started violently trembling.

“What are we going to do”, you breathed, more to yourself than to your boyfriend. “They’ll hate us, they’ll kick us out of the company! Why did you do that?” You had no anger in your voice as you stared at Jeongin, just helplessness. He walked over and wrapped his arms around you tightly but with a little tremor.

“I don’t know”, he confessed, and you sniffled slightly. “But I thought of what you’d said when we were told to stay quiet. We shouldn’t have to hide, especially because we’re so happy. I think if JYP wants to kick us out, let him”.

“No, no, Jeongin!” You let out a panicked sob. “What about the other boys? You can’t leave them, not just for me! What ever happens, you can’t leave Stray Kids!”

You both stood there, holding onto each other tightly, for a long time. After what felt like hours, you both sat down on the shiny floor of the tiny room, still not letting go of each other’s hands. You had calmed down now, and just sat quietly. Suddenly, Jeongin sat up and grabbed his phone. “What are you doing”, you asked, your voice slurred and muffled from exhaustion.

“The show was a live broadcast wasn’t it”, asked Jeongin. “And because it’s the evening, most of the world will have been awake. Which means...” He tapped the Twitter icon and the app came to life. He immediately went to the Trending page, and with a gasp, you saw #JeonginAndY/nDating on the second most popular tag.

“Oh my God”, you breathed. You didn’t think the effect would be so big. Before you could stop him, Jeongin tapped on the tag. You yelped and looked away, not wanting to see any of the awful comments people had made.

“Y/n...” Jeongin’s voice was laced with shock.

“I know, I know, you don’t have to tell me it’s bad”, you say in despair.

“It’s... Everyone’s congratulating us!” Your eyes snapped open, and you swung your head around to glare at the bright screen. Thousands upon thousands of tweets had the trending hashtag, with people voicing their wishes of happiness for you as a couple, in English, Korean, you saw Spanish and french and Japanese. Message after message flashed by as Jeongin scrolled downwards. He started laughing; softly at first, then loudly, like a child how had received a special gift for Christmas. “They’re happy for us! Y/n they’re happy for us!!” He hugged you tightly as you laughed with him, more out of relief and exhaustion than anything else.

After a few more minutes, spent with you both bent over the phone and reading all the happy tweets, one of the staff came in to let you know that JYP was on his way to talk. “He didn’t sound as angry as we expected though, if that makes you feel a little better”, he said sympathetically. You thanked him as he wished you both luck and closed the door. And you turned back to Jeongin.

“You know... I don’t want to jinx it but... maybe this wasn’t as bad as I thought”, you said apprehensively.

The boy hugged you tightly. “Well, no matter what happens, we’ll always be there for each other. Right?”

You smiled, thinking of ‘Midnight Walk’ and ‘Winged Love’. “Right”. You felt warm, think about the lyrics you’d both written, saying you’d never leave the love of your life.

Because it was true.

im sorry idek what the ending is anymore but eh this was the third draft soooo...

[ayanna-wild]

Straight Through The Heart

Word Count: 620

Pairings: Lucifer Morningstar x reader

Warnings: angst

A/N: Request from @gingernarwal, I take requests, enjoy!

Part 2

Masterlist

Summary: You were very good at what you did. Killing bad people was your specialty. However, the man you were just hired to kill didn't exactly fit your definition of a 'bad guy'. He's certainly taken a liking to you, and your night goes a little differently than anticipated.

............................................................

You sipped your drink as your eyes scanned the large crowd of people in the club. You had been there for nearly an hour, your focus mainly on the owner.

Lucifer Morningstar

Your eyes drifted back over to him and group of people standing around him. When a mysterious man had asked you to kill the devil you agreed. With what the man had been offering to pay, you would have been crazy to refuse the job. However, the more you watched him, the more you heard about him, the less you convinced you became that he was a bad guy. That provided you with your current problem. You only killed bad people, and Lucifer Morningstar, aside from claiming to be the devil, didn't fit that.

"Staring is very rude darling."

You were ripped from your thoughts. Lucifer was sitting beside you, smiling widely. Apparently you had been to distracted by your thoughts to notice him approaching you. Your expression remained emotionless as you looked at him.

"Cocky, are we? Who's to say I was staring at you?" You replied.

"Then I suppose you look at everyone like you wish to murder them?"

"Maybe I do." You said sarcastically.

Your cold demeanor didn't seem to bother him, if anything he seemed even more intrigued by you.

"Well then, tell me just what it is you desire."

You found that you couldn't look away from his eyes. You struggled with the temptation to answer him, but you couldn't help yourself.

"I want to see bad people get what they deserve."

Lucifer looked at you with surprise, as if he wasn't expecting that to be your answer. You finally found the will to look away from him, and turned your attention back to your drink.

"Is that all? No juicy details? That was rather vague." Lucifer said.

You shrugged and gave him a small smirk.

"Hypothetically speaking, sometimes I give them what they deserve."

Lucifer looked at you as if you were the most interesting person in the room.

"So you're a punisher then?"

"Hypothetically of course."

You were careful not to incriminate yourself. You weren't stupid, you knew he worked with the LAPD.

"Of course, and am I to assume someone hired you to get rid of me?"

He didn't seem angry or even judgemental of that. You smiled as you took a sip of your drink.

"Allegedly."

Lucifer leaned back in the seat, his eyes studying you like you were a mystery he just had to solve.

"But I'm not going to." You shrugged.

He smirked, tilting his head in curiosity.

"Oh? Why is that my dear? Have I grown on you?" He teased.

"Hardly, you just don't seem to be evil to me. There's no reason for me to go after you." You said.

Lucifer's smile faltered and he sat up. You didn't fail to notice that small hint of vulnerability in his eyes.

"You don't think I'm evil?"

You didn't understand why that seemed to be so hard for him to understand.

"No, you might enjoy causing trouble a little too much, but you don't exactly fit my description of evil. Honestly you seem like a good person to me."

You stood up, slipping your jacket on. Lucifer sat there, staring at the table.

'Good.'

The word replayed over and over in his mind. You thought he was good. Lucifer couldn't seem to grasp that. You saw the conflicted look in his eyes and grabbed his hand. Lucifer's eyes meant yours.

"It was nice to meet you Mr. Morningstar." You smiled.

Lucifer watched you walk away, disappearing into the crowd. He glanced down at his hand, where your name and number sat, scribbled on a piece of paper.

............................................................................

Tag List: @gingernarwal @we-are-all-alittle-strange-here @lifeshortbro @im-just-along-for-the-ride @beththedemonhunter

[kpopisthereasonihavenolife]

Who’s Crushing on the New Manager? [1]

Monsta X

Son Hyunwoo (Shownu)/Reader [F]

Words: 2.8k

Genre: Fluff

Others: Intro / Shownu / Wonho / Minhyuk / Kihyun / Hyungwon / Jooheon / IM

-------------------------------------------------

“I’m Y/N, I’ll be in your care.”

Her voice was just as soft and warm as her smile.  It didn’t take much, but those few seconds.  He already knew that that soft fluttering in his stomach was none other than a small crush, ready to blossom into so much more.

Shownu cleared his throat and kept his professionalism in check as he bowed back to her, eyes locking back with her as he straightened his spine.  

“Hyunw- uh, I mean Shownu.”  You chuckled at him, as he stopped himself from introducing himself with his given name.  You nodded to him, an amused smile on your face.

“Yes, I know who you are, I am your manager after all.”  Your chuckle almost made his cheeks heat along with the pounding in his chest.  Of course you knew, he didn’t really need to introduce himself.  The short conversation was interrupted by the official who spoke up before he turned to leave.

“Please take Ms. Y/L/N to the studio and introduce the rest of the boys to her.  And Please, don’t scare her off.”  You giggled at his smirk and Shownu just rolled his eyes playfully before the official took off to wherever he came from. Shownu looked at you, your face turned slightly away from him as you watched the man walk off.  

Your profile was just as magnificent as looking at your face head on.  He was already convinced you owned every angle and didn’t have a bad one.  When you looked back to him, he kept looking at you. You two just stared at each other for a moment before he smoothly angled his body to silently lead you.

“Shall we?  I have a feeling the boys are getting rowdy and anxious.”  You chuckled, which made him smile.  

“What makes you think so?”

“Call it a leader’s instinct.”  

“Is it as good as what we women call intuition?”  He sucked in a breath through his teeth playfully.

“I don’t know about that.”  And with that short interaction, he silently followed you to where the rest of the boys were.  And when you arrived, he was spot on. It was quite a sight.

Chankyun was in a corner, just screaming?  For no reason? Minhyuk was running around, chasing Jooheon for God knows why.  Hyungwon was sitting on the couch, seemingly normal, until you notice the lump that is under his rear was most definitely not the couch, but Wonho’s back.  The younger boy pushing the older into the cushions.  And Kihyun had emerged dramatically with his ipad in his hand, belting a note that was stable, but, coming from him, was rusty in sound.  

Shownu just stood where he was, and put his hand on his forehead, moving his finger to pinch the bridge of his nose and just breath.  Why? Why were they like this?  Was it because they had a new manager?  No, that couldn’t be it, could it?  They hadn’t done this before?

While he stood there, he heard you cover your mouth, the slap of your palm hitting your lips catching his ear.  He looked down at you through his fingers and noticed your red face and shaking shoulders. He was about to question you, making sure you were okay when you burst out laughing.  

You laughed loud as you clutched at your stomach, nearly untucking your shirt with how hard you gripped it.  Soon, the chaos that was the boys calmed down and they all swarmed around you, smiles and laughter of their own.  Minhyuk was the one that came to your free side and slung an arm over your shoulder, before Shownu smacked it off.  

It was bad manners.  Yeah, that’s why he did it.  

When all the laughter died to just chuckled and harsh breaths, introductions finally began. They introduced themselves one by one, with cheesy titles attached to their names, like ‘sexiest member’, ‘softest’, ‘cutest’, etc.  When they were done, you just told them that an introduction was necessary for their part, but it was appreciated anyways.  You gave your name and then happily told them that you would enjoy working with them.  

The energy that they radiated was contagious and it just made a person smile.  That first day wasn’t too much, and all you did was get to know the members.  And soon that day ended and you went back to your apartment while the boys when to the dorms.   

The next day, the boys were to go to a showcase for their fans, as well as hold an interview about their next album and, of course, other music related questions.  So, the day had started early for them, earlier for you.  You had woken up early, getting all the schedule times down before hopping in your car to get to the building and then follow the van the boys use to travel in.  

When you had stopped at the dorms, you watched the 7 sleepy boys amble out in their clothes, masks and caps on as they all piled in the van.  A few offered small waves to you, but it took a lot for them to properly function with so little rest.  You felt bad for them as you let out your own small yawn.  

Then, you were off again and before you knew it, you were getting out before them and waiting at the entrance of the building they were using. A bit more awake, some of them had questioned and complimented your attire.  You were in casual clothing today, and would start to dress this way unless something came up that required you to dress up again.  

Dark jeans that hugged your legs, a t-shirt tucked only in the back slightly, a black jacket and your shoes. Your hair was down and a cap was on your head to hide your, probably now tamed, bed hair that a brush couldn’t get rid of.

“The casual look today?” Shownu had approached you as the boys walked in front of you, maneuvering through the halls.  You nodded to him, looking at the piece of paper in your hands as you walked, reading through what they were doing and when today.  

“Yeah.  I only dressed in a business casual attire yesterday because I had to finish up paperwork in the main building offices.  But, since I’m working and on my feet most of the time, and since it’s not like i have a dress code to follow, I’ll be dressing more or less like this.  Unless, of course, I’m asked to dress up.”  He nodded at you, it made sense.  Part of him felt bad for the life of a manager.  He had a hard enough time working with the hard schedule.

Recordings, little rest, sometimes finding hard times to stop and eat well, filming, editing, photo shots, travel; it was all a lot sometimes.  But, he felt like managers had it a tad worse.  With them having to work before the schedules, always be ready at all times, make adjustments in their own time, even when they should be having a break.  They were a big step in the hypothetical drawing board that is the life of an idol.  

And even if they didn’t show it as much as they wished they did, every one of the boys respected their manager, and every other staff member who would work with them.  They were all hard working and talented people with skills that flourish to new extents.  

And, with that first, tiring, fun, fan-filled day rapidly moving by, everything fell into place.  Day after day passed with you as their manager and everyone of them getting a specific relationship with you across.  Some like brothers, some playful friends, but there was one member whose line was blurred, and not distinguished like the others.  

None other than Son Hyunwoo.  

The leader of the group would always be polite, and would always seem so calm around you, but if you turned away or left the room, he would basically crumple into his chair or into the couch or steal longing stares your way until you looked back to him, in which he promptly turned his head.  

Point was, he did a bad job of hiding the fact he had a crush on you. Your personality was infectious, happy and full of smiles.  Even when the schedule was packed and times were tough, you always tried your best to make sure they were feed, safe and happy.  Putting a smile on everyone’s face no matter what the obstacle.  

That in itself was attractive to Shownu, not to mention your maturity in which you handle situations.  You would be this fun, playful, prankster at times, but when it really counted, you would turn into this professional manager with every fact, piece of information, time and number ready on the tip of your tongue to any question.  

You astonished him.  Yet, you never seemed to know his gazes.  You were oblivious to it even.  He didn’t know if you were just too busy to notice, which would be logical, or if you were just oblivious in nature to notice these things, or if you were just uninterested.  He didn’t know.  

However, you may not have noticed him, but everyone else did.  Namely his team.  And they did not let him leave it down.

They would tease him in the dorms, and behind closed doors openly, and if you were around, they’d just shot him looks or one member would put on a dramatic two way romance with another member.  But, even if they gave him crap, they thought the idea of you two as a couple was cute as hell and supported it with their whole heart.  

Then one day, he somehow worked up the courage to tell you.  Tell you everything.  And how it happened surprised even himself, as it was a spur of the moment.  

The boys had a rare day to themselves, and many stayed at the dorms, and so you decided to pay them a visit as a friend, not a manager that day.  It was a fun filled day until you had to leave and it had already gotten quite late, so Shownu had offered to take one of their cars and drive you back to your apartment.  

You agreed as the two left the house and he did as he intended.  He drove you, dropped you off, said your goodbyes and he left.  But, it wasn’t until about the halfway point back to the dorms, where he suddenly stopped, turned around and was driving back to your apartment building.

He don’t know why he did this, or what made him do it.  Maybe he was finally fed up with hiding it, or maybe he just was thinking irrationally, he had no idea.  He had no clue what he was doings, what he would say, or why he would say it.  He just thought of you and that fueled everything on.  Everything he was unsure about, but he was concrete on what he would do tonight, reject or accepted.

He’d tell you everything.  

So, when he parked in the parking garage and ran out of the car, and up to your floor, he was out of breath as he rang the bell by the small box speaker by your door.  When you came over the speaker to see who it was, all he did was ask to be let in, in which, surprised you ran to the door in a frenzy and opened it up.  

He nearly melted at the sight of you.  Apparently, he had been gone long enough for you to wash the makeup off your face and change into a pair of pj pants littered in small bears and a white tank top.  He chuckled at your pants, seeing the bears as you offered him inside.  He stepped in, but didn’t leave the door within 5 feet.  You looked at him quizzically.  

“Hyunwoo?  What’s wrong?”  That was another thing he loved about you.  You always called him by his real name when it was just the two of you.  It was something so small, but he didn’t want his name to be said by anyone else like that.  

“I have a problem, and I think you’re the only one who can help me figure it out.  I don’t care what the outcome is, I just need closure.  To get it out.”  He was still slightly out of breath.  You didn’t know what he was talking about, and you bit back the red threatening to erupt your face and secretly gripped at your pants to keep your breathing and heart rate in check.  

You tried to offer him inside, for water or something to calm him down.  But, once again all he did was stand there.  In the doorway, staring at you.  Through you almost.  

“Hyunwoo, just come inside.  We can talk about it when you’ve had time to catch-”

“I like you, okay?” You nearly fell over.  The red you had suppressed now overpowered you and started to spread over your cheeks and nose.  Your gripped your pants tighter, less secretly now.  “I know your busy, busier than me-”

“You know I’m not busier than you.”  You interrupted, but he kept talking like you hadn’t.

“-But I had to tell you before anyone else did.  I’ve always thought you were cute, but it kept growing in my head and my chest and now all I do is stare and admire and just want to be here.”  There was silence as you focused your eyes on his shirt, his plain white shirt as you felt his eyes bore into your face.  

“I said I wouldn’t mind the outcome, reject me or not, I-”  You whipped your head up, eyes blown and red littered on you face.

“Why would I reject you?!”  Your quickly slapped your hands over your mouth, turning redder still, as you wanted to crawl into a hole and just hide.  “I-I mean, who would do that?  Reject the opportunity to possibly be in a relationship with such a good man?  That’s just crazy talk, or maybe I’m talking crazy, or just… I’m crazy.”  You huffed as you bent down to the floor, hugging you knees and hiding your embarrassed face into them.  

The boys had been picking fun at you for month and your loud crush for their leader.  It was a typical ‘we know, they don’t scenario they found themselves in.  You thought you had been the only one who was teased in private, but hearing it from Shownu, he probably got the same treatment.  It almost made you laugh.  

You jumped as you felt your wrist being grabbed along with your opposite arm and then your body being pulled back to your feet.  Once you were nearly straightened up, you then were pushed into a chest as arms wrapped around your shoulders.  Your breath hitched as you felt a chuckle rumble from Shownu’s chest and into your ear.  

“Your warm.”  You pouted and wanted to hit at his sides, but your arms felt like jelly.  It was like you had no control of your body.  

“Shut up. It’s rude to tease you manager.”  He chuckled again, rubbing your back in a way that made your eyes droop.  He was one of the few members who knew of your constant back pain, so the little action did a lot of you and your racing heart no doubt.  

“But, your more than my manager, so I think it’s okay.”  You felt your pulse in your hands and arms, heart quickening more and more.  

“More?”  Your voice rose an octave, cracking slightly as you asked him to elaborate.  That same chuckle hit your ears for the third time.  A fourth and you’d probably drop to your knees again, slipping from his arms.  

“You’re my manager, sure, but you’re also someone special.  A friend, an important person, and if you give me the pleasure of saying ‘yes’, then you can have the chance of being my girlfriend.”  You wanted to whine at him, he was being too sweet, too smooth for himself.  He was confidence, because part of him knew.  He knew you couldn’t say no.

“If you stay the night, I’ll be more inclined to say yes.”  You all but whispered into his chest.  You wanted to try and take some control of the situation, but ultimate, Shownu saw through your attempted and pulled his phone from his back pocket. 

He quickly sent a text to the group chat he had with the guys, saying he’d be staying with you for the night and that she’d drive him to the dorm tomorrow when their schedule picks back up.  Of course a few cracks came afterwards, but it was done.  

Now, you were his, and he wasn’t ready to let you go for at least the next 100 years or longer.  Depending on how long his life is.  Point being, you were his for the rest of his life, and you had no qualms about it.  

You were his manager, but now, you were just his, as he was yours.  For a long, long time.  

[the-fiction-witch]

Valentines: From

MOVIE: MAZE RUNNER  COUPLE: NEWT X READER RATING: SWEET + SMUT

Y/N POV:

I sat on the bench nibbling at my lunch just having my nice sandwich I got a little tap on my shoulder so I turned to see nothing know one there I heard a little sound on the table so I turned and saw a little thing wrapped in red tissue paper so I got it and it was a little chocolate with a note “Hello, Love From Your secret Admire” it made me giggle eating the sweet chocolate once I had my lunch I went back to work doing some gardening picking out strawberries and such as I finished planting a little cutting I looked up and spotting another little red present so I grabbed it and read the note “You Look cute when you work, Love from your secret admirer” it made me blush like crazy looking around trying to see if anyone was looking at me but know one was looking so I open it and it was another little chocolate so I happily ate it Once I was finished with work I went off to have a bath in the little swimming pond out towards the deadheads as soon as I stripped off and jumped in I felt so nice I ducked under the water for a moment to wet my hair and when I came back up there was another cute little red present on the side of the Pond I swam over and saw the note “For You Beautiful, Have fun Meet me tonight on the tower <3 Your secret admirer” It made me laugh I opened it and it was strange thing i was very puzzled and i accidentally dropped it in the water and it began fizzing like crazy turning the whole pond purple with glitter and little hearts floating in it it felt so nice on my skin to sweet and pretty Once I was done I got dressed and went up to the tower it was now dark the top of the tower where a bunch of candles everywhere and a little present on the tower it was a huge present it looked beautiful.

NEWT’S POV:

I sighed not wanting to get out of my hammock, till I felt a little tap on my head

“Uhh What?” I ask opening my eyes but know one was there but there was a little red present on me so I sat up having a read of it 

“You look cute today X From your secret admirer” it read making me laugh a little but kinda worried...I live in the glade...full of boys? I kinda hope it’s the one girl doing this and opening it Ohh a chocolate so i had it and went to the garden’s it is my day off sitting in the gardens on the grass while other’s worked I sighed laying back and almost falling asleep again till I felt someone tap me I turned and looking but know one so I sighed turning back but this way there was another little red present so I read the note “Sleepy Boy today newtie, Love From your secret admirer” It made me laugh opening at this was another chocolate so I happily ate it laying back on  the soft grass trying to sleep again I looked around and I could see know one really about to much except y/n across the way I smile at her and she smiles back blushing a little putting her head down to work once I has had a very long nap I went to dinner sitting on my own still kinda yawning a bit having to have a very long yawn when I opened my eyes another little present was sat on the table I looked around and there was know one even close so I read the little note “For you, Meet me tonight on the tower Love from your secret admirer” so I quickly opened it, it was another sweet little chocolate so I quickly ate it rushing off to the tower once I got up there I saw a huge present on the tower and candles and flowers everywhere and Y/n sat she turned and smiled as she saw me

“It was you?” she giggles

“What do you mean?” I ask her

“You where the one leaving me little presents?” she blushes

“ thought you where, You said to meet you here” I laugh showing her the note 

“But I thought you brought me here” she says very puzzled showing a note she also had same hand writing same everything “thats odd” she says a little worried sitting and getting the big present it had two little notes on it one saying Newt the other saying Y/n so we each got our own note 

“You two are perfect for each other its high time you both told each other how you feel” mine read

“what does your say?” I ask her and she handed me her’s and I handed her mine her’s said exactly the same 

“so...something you want to tell me?” she giggles blushing hard

“something you want to tell me?” I laugh both of us a little nervous before we met and kissed her lips so soft and heavenly why did I wait so long to kiss her...

Y/N POV:

when He kissed me my heart skipped a beat I was so happy he felt this way about me, why did we wait so long to meet and do this, so long I have had a crush on the cute British boy, to think I’m actually kissing him till we both pulled away

“How long?” I ask

“since I got you out the box” he smiles “what about you?” he asks

“since you got me out” I giggle shuffling close to him resting my head on his shoulder he smiles wrapping his arm around me we sat snuggling in the starlight for what felt like forever “Oh what was in the present?” I ask remembering we didn't open it so he got it sitting it between us and opening it up it was a box so newt opened it and quickly shut it again before I could even see inside “what?” i giggle

“I dont think you want to see” he laughs 

“Yes i do” I giggle opening it was full to the brim with condoms, regular, XXL, sensitive, warming, cooling, ribbed you name a condom it was in here “Oh god” I say in shock newt blushed digging though the huge mess of condoms and under them was something else a ring with some odd little bits “whats that?” i ask

“You dont wanna know” he laughs

“Yes I do newt tell me” I giggle

“Okay,, this goes like on ....lets say hypothetically if we where too....have sex” he blushed “it would go on my dick, and vibrate and make me super hard as fuck and also at the same time when i was inside you it would touch and vibrate on your clit” he explains

“How did someone even get that?” I ask

“I’m not sure I wanna know” he sighs so I put my hand in though the condoms and found something else a bottle of something it said WCKD on it so I was a little worried before he took it out my hand “Oh okay, this is like-” he begins

“Lube?” I ask “Just going on everything else in the box of smut” I laugh

“Not exactly It’s lube yeah but...its meant to like make us both more sensitive” He explains

“who the hell did all this?” i ask “Leading us here and doing this?” I ask

“I have a pretty educated guess” he sighs as I found a bit of folded paper at the bottom of the box it read 

“Happy Valentines day Ya Shanks, Have Fun ;) X thomas and Minho” 

“I hate those two sometimes” I laugh “Bloody Idiots” he sighs 

“Well I dont have any other plans tonight” I smirk

“Wait so you-” he begins getting a little excited and I just nod 

“My place?” I giggle grabbing the little ring and holding on the crotch of his trousers and having it vibrate 

“Uhhh!Okay!” He moans kissing me hard before we packed everything into the box climbed down with it and ran off to my room....

“Ummm Oh newt” I moan between his harsh lustful kisses as we laid on our sides in my bed his hands on my waist often running his fingertips across my skin mine tightly holding his vest and he threw his hoodie across the room a moment ago his little groans and grunts into our kiss getting deeper and louder the more we kissed “Newtie come on dont you wanna have sex with me” i giggle pulling away from kissing him letting him press soft tickely kisses on my neck 

“Oh I do, I do, I do Y/n” He groans between kisses pulling up my shirt and undoing my jeans pushing them down my legs so I push them of all the way with my feet and he smirks at me laying i bed in my underwear his eyes checking me out rather aggressively before his lips attached to my neck again his hands sliding up to un clip my bra which he did on the first try it hanging so loss only just covering my chest his hands quickly threw it away across the room his hands shyly stroking under my breasts before moving up taking hold fully of my tits one in each of his large hands “Uhh Oh God!” He moans sucking on my neck as he squeezed them gently I chuckled at his reaction smirking trying to pull up his vest and he smirks pulling away from my neck throwing off his vest and I smirked running my hands up and down his slender form and he smirked against my skin as I undid his pants and he pulled back looking at me “where really gonna do this?” he asks a little scared and I nod blushing a little pushing his pants down revealing his boxers and the large bulge there ever growing as we kiss before he sat up and smirked at me getting the box of stuff “you pick” he smirks so I giggle grabbing a sensitive condom and he got the other bits butting the box on the floor sitting up on top of me and smiling at me so I slip my panties off leaving me naked under him and he smirks his bulge growing even more as he saw me naked 

“come on newt” I giggle running my hands down from his shoulders down to his V very prominent now and he smirks giving me a little kiss as he slips off his boxers “SHUCKING HELL!” I laugh

“what?” he asks

“Its shucking huge newt” I laugh

“Really? I didn't think it was that big” he laughs “well, Its all yours sweetheart” he smirks kissing me before he sat up again putting the liquid stuff from the bottle on his cock and he shuddered his eyes rolling back a little “shuck thats good” he groans before slipping the condom on and putting a little liquid on the condom too “thats so you get some in there too” he smirks before putting the little ring on and smirking at me “You want to turn it on” he smirks and I nod sitting up a little pressing the little button turning it on I could see his cock get harder if that was possible as it started and the little sound of her vering a little funny to me “Okay I’m gonna have to fuck you else Im gonna cum” he groans before smirking down at me “a little for your cit too” he smirks putting some off the liquid just the amount still on his fingers on my clit it felt so good so cold but like it heightened me so much making my little clit feel like it was begging for his touch but I was no to get it as he slipped inside me “UHHH! Y/N Your...Your so tight baby” he smirks pushing so he was hilt deep inside me the little vibrator taking good care of my clit almost teasing it as my pussy stretched around newt huge cock he smirks leaning forward on top of me his elbows keeping him up as he gave my lips a sweet kiss before starting his slow thrusts but they didn't last very long as he was within seconds pounding into me hard and fast I moaned like crazy in reaction to every tiny thing he did to me he kept groaning and grunting almost angry getting frustrated trying to get to his release getting desperate for it I was getting close I felt myself nearing the edge till I felt his hand move down to the toy and turn it up one more speed sending me over the edge my orgasm rushing over me pleasure going everywhere like a wave from my pussy out to my brain and down to my toes making them curl in reaction my pussy clenching tight around him  even squirting on him a little as I grabbed him tightly screaming repeating his name like a prayer over and over as his thrusts kept going keeping me in the wonderful fuzzy visioned world of climax till I felt him shudder his hips bucking widely no rhythm like before as he grabbed me tight biting my shoulder hard I felt his eyes even water as he came collapsing on me “I love you so much” he moaned

“i love you too” I giggle between breaths till he pulled out of me it felt awful having him leave and he laid beside me in my bed resting his head on my tits as he breathed “are you okay?” I ask

“Yeah...Yeah....just uh...a bit....tried” he groans 

“aww poor newtie, maybe we do more tomorrow?” I giggle giving his head a kiss and playing with his soft hair

“Okay” He smirks giving my breast a kiss where he was

“Knock knock” a little voice laughs on the other side of the room I looked around my room a moment things knocked over newt’s clothes all over my floor and a few things from under my bed now out in the middle of the floor my bra somehow got hung over the door handle on this side 

“yeah?” I ask

“Hi guys” minho smirks opening my door along with thomas “Whoa! it worked” he smirked as he saw me and newt in bed 

“Oh god, the sex smell is so strong its making my eyes water” Thomas complained 

“why did you guys do this?” I ask as newt snuggled closer to em almost asleep

“because you two needed to get together and if we had to trick you into admitting it then we did, arnt you happy it worked ?” Minho smirked

and I just looked at my mostly wrecked room, my naked body under the covers off my bed and a naked newt cuddling into my side “Yeah I am” i giggle hugging him tightly and he kissed me our kiss deepening like crazy still a little horny 

“dont you guys wanna know how we did it?” thomas asks

“Dont know and dont care” Newt answers between kisses “Guys shuck off” he told them pulling me close to him 

“why?” Minho smirked

“cause Its valentines day and oddly enough I wanna have fun with my girlfriend” he smirks so they happily left letting us get back to our sweet little cuddle 

“so you wanna fool around again” I giggle 

“Late sweetheart, I need a nap after destroying your pussy” he smirks kissing me so I happily kissed him back cuddling closer and we happily feel asleep.

[briteboy]

why is my bra size a G? Where is that even on the bra size spectrum?

honestly i’m not sure why i got this question but it made for a good cold open to this post didn’t it

Mother I’m having a really bad migraine please help I’ve been throwing up for hours now 😭

OH NO i’m sorry :[ that sucks so much. i’ve only had a migraine once and i’m pretty sure it was because i went to a palm reader who had some untrustworthy evil vibes going on omfg *googles ‘migraine remedies’* uhh uhuh leafy dark greens! a cold dark room! ice packs! i’m sorry i suck at this i will offer you one (1) hug instead

i dreamed last night that last august u sent me an ask with questions from an ask meme i hadn't reblogged and i responded really rudely and then in the present i got a notif for an ask and i looked it and it was actually the already answered ask u had sent me a year ago and i was like 'wtf when did i get this ask when did i answer it why was i so angry???' and i messaged u and was like 'i have no memory of this but im sorry for being such an ass idk why either man' and u were like :/ ok i guess

OMFG :/ ok i guess i apologize on dream me’s behalf for sending you questions u didn’t even reblog. maybe i was just really interested in ur hypothetical answers. it’s okay i forgive dream u for being rude. we’re best friends now in dream land

a half goat, half human is a satyr but I like goat boy more

yeah i’m dumb and realized this after i said it omg. it’s not my fault i’ve only seen the chronicles of narnia once

Could you release astropussy cc merch? 😂 i need it in my life

YES PROBABLY IN THE FUTURE!! it’s on my to-do list!

Do you have a link to the beginning of ur story? Thx

the amount of times i’ve answered this, i just. asjkdfj lmao. it’s on my faq and also at the top of my blog, if you’re on mobile just look at the tags on my post and the general rule is that you can go to that tag and put in /chrono and it’ll go to the beginning. here

Do you follow any astrology blogs??

hmmmm i used to, but i’ve fallen out of touch with that area of tumblr. i still trust @astrologymarina with my life tho

hit me with that astrology shit ! gimme references, everything!

Yo my main squeeze! I’m doing a PowerPoint bout astrology, could u give me some sweet info?

(two different anons, same answer) AHHH *sweats* tbh i learned everything i know from observing my own chart (find yours here), acknowledging the traits of each sign and applying to people i know, then reading up on the planets and houses, and honestly...just exploring the tumblr astrology tag and following the rabbit hole down a twisted web of different astrology blogs. if you start with marina up there ^^ you can probably find a lot of sweet info and other blogs as well.

Hello mother, could you teach me about all the astrology stuff you’re always talking about? Like the birth charts and the planets etc. I find it v interesting but I can’t understand shit bc English is not even near my native language. Help. I’m so very lost lmao

ah well firstly check out the links above ^^ i would personally explain everything but 1) i’m bad at that and 2) ain’t nobody got time 4 dat honestly cafe astrology is a good starting point for beginners, they have everything on that website! if you need any specific sort of help with understanding it, feel free to message me off anon!

i think i finally figured out the birthchart thing?? really cool and very defining for a lot of elements of character design. i'm a aquarius sun, scorpio moon, and taurus rising -- i'm ready to be judged - sirius anon

right!! it’s like a main priority for me in character building! ohoooo that combo is very interesting, because i feel like aquarius and scorpio are not really compatible, in that aquarius influence can make you very distant and unwilling to address your emotions and their importance, but your moon (which controls your emotions) is SO preoccupied with exactly that, which might exacerbate that scorpio intensity because you feel that constant pull between hiding and revealing your true emotions. but then taurus rising kind of balances it out and makes you at least appear to be level headed? so even if you’re suffering on the inside at least people think u got it all together.

i.... i feel like your inbox is now bombarded w/ zodiac related questions.... so i sorta feel bad for dropping this on u but im doing it anyway hehe ok so: sagittarius sun and rising, cancer moon

it is and my wrist is killing me all of a sudden but i do this for u guys because it makes me so happy that u even care oh wow, that’s an interesting combo!! it’s actually one of those combos that like...it never crosses your mind, but now that you think about it, they actually go really well together. sagittarius is the most calm of the fire signs, so it actually might pair well with emotional and highly intuitive cancer. your inclinations are probably pretty bold and outgoing, but then you might think about them for too long and develop a fear of going through with them. in that way your emotional side kinda holds you back, but you should learn to trust your gut instincts!! 

Uhhh can you also do my birthchart? I know nothing about astrology and you're a godess in this topic! I'm Scorpio Sun, Pisces Moon, Pisces Rising

OMFG A GODDESS well i’m just ok, i try ooh boy you’re watery alright!! wow you’re probably dreamy as f*ck, but also moody as f*ck, highly and acutely aware of everything at once, otherworldly, always living inside your head but wanting to get out and experience things with everyone else, always wondering about the mysteries of life and the weird questions no one ever wants to answer. you understand things more deeply than anyone around you, and you probably don’t even realize how strong and adaptable you are!!

Ahhh are you still doing horoscopes? If so can you do mine? I’m Aries sun, Sagittarius moon and libra rising. I’m overwhelmed with how to read these things! Thank you and hope you’re having a good day 😘

hello finally i am answering your question! sorry i just get overwhelmed when i get a lot of these lmao this is an awesome combo!!! sag + libra is always so good and then aries + libra are opposites/sister signs which makes for an interesting dichotomy. i’m actually an aries sun/sag moon as well, so i know this combo very well lmao. you might come off as very calm and appealing (dat libra charm tho) and then when people get closer to you you reveal your optimistic, perseverant and passionate nature. these signs are very harmonious together, you’re probably like the calmer version of me lmao. you might be pretty rational but then your sun makes you want to be more impulsive. it’s good to listen to it sometimes...but not all the time. aries is a child don’t trust him too much

hey sunny! i know you're probably stressed out by all these so feel free to skip this one, but i'm a virgo sun/capricorn moon/cancer rising! idk if i fit in a lot of the virgo stereotypes though but ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

o0o0o0o0o so many sister signs i swear heheh, it’s good though, i like this combo! i feel like you can’t really go wrong with virgo/cap because they’re both earth signs. cap/cancer are opposites so your cancer rising might make you come off as very sweet, soft and emotional, but your moon says otherwise. people probably underestimate you a lot, but underneath your exterior you’ve got a guarded heart and you can’t be pushed around easily. though your virgo and cancer influence might invite people to walk all over you, you are stronger than you know.

Hi! Just felt like letting you know that there's this song called "Red Bottom Sky" by Yung Lean and it always reminds me of Santi every time I hear it.

hello! omg i love these messages, it makes me so giddy when people relate songs to my characters ;-; i’m listening to it right now and this is definitely something he would like lmao. it’s so calming somehow i wanna live in this beat

when i saw the title for lou’s story i immediately thought of the group choker lmao. you should check them out el dorado is my fav song

omg i actually think i’ve heard of this group before!! i’m digging these song suggestions, i like this one a lot! watch me put their songs in this story now lmao

[toddcowardd]

The Captain, The Pilot and You (Part One)

Rating: Teen-ish idk this is going to lead into smut so

Warning: dirty dancing at the end, lots of alcohol consumptions 

Paring: Cassian Andor x Reader (Eventual Cassian x Poe x Reader but this part is very cassian centric)

Summary: It's Valentine's day and you're lonely, bitter, and just got dumped. So what better way to spend it than at the rebellions annual party and get drunk! Little do you know that your drunken shenanigans with a certain pilot and captain will lead to something so much more.

Sometimes, being in the rebellion sucked.

Not that going to different places in the galaxy and fighting off fascist soldiers wasn’t cool because, well, it was. But, sometimes you just felt so lonely. Especially on days like today where it’s a literal celebration of romantic love.

You walked around the buzzing base after your latest mission debriefing, hands tucked deeply into your jacket pockets, eyes planted firmly to the floor to avoid seeing all the happy couples around you. The lovey dovey atmosphere of the base become far too much for you as you hurried off in the direction of your quarters.

There was a lot of excited chatter filling the air, some of the higher ups allowed for a party to happen later tonight in celebration of this cursed day. You’ve decided to skip out on it and lay in bed watching dumb holodramas all night.

Pathetic? Maybe.  But you weren’t about to get all fancied up only to be surrounded by happy couples the entire night before retiring to you room alone. You looked up around the base before disappearing down the corridor to everyone quarters. Couples everywhere and gods it even seemed like the droids on base had a partner. You felt like the only single person in the rebellion. That wasn’t true, there was some people who didn’t have a special someone like; Captain Andor.

You shake your head at the thought of him. Sure, he was handsome and amazing and incredible and courageous and friendly but, he’d never date you. He was in a committed relationship to the rebellion and nothing (or no one) else. He’d politely shrug off any romantic advance that came his way no matter who it was. There was no use in you trying when you already knew the outcome.

The door to you quarters slide open after you typed in your key code. Another potential partner could be Commander Dameron. He too was gorgeous, amazing, friendly, brave and other like adjectives. And unlike Captian Andor he was very willing to go into a relationship. The problem was that he almost never did because he was too busy bouncing around everyone. He just had so much love to give and would rather give it to multiple people over one.  

You flopped face down onto your bed. If you were being honest then you’d admit to having feelings for both. And that you’d want to date both (at the same time preferably). You knew deep down that that’d never happen. The chances of you defecting and dating an imperial were higher than that happening. The chances of you being a member of a family with strong jedi ties would be higher than that. Literally anything happening would have a higher chance than that. You turn towards the window, looking out to Yavin’s lush greenery. The setting sun painted the sky in a beautiful mixture of pink and purple.

That party would be starting soon.  

It was rather unfortunate for you that you aren’t going. Maybe by some weird twist of the force you’d meet someone there. Maybe it’d be Dameron or Andor. Or maybe it would just be someone else.

At least if you’d go and you were to meet someone, you’d hypothetically get laid at the end of the night.

Maybe.

You sit up and rethink your plans for the night. The pros of going would be; you don’t look like a recluse, you’d at least get some food and drinks out of it and you could possibly hook up with someone and maybe get into a relationship. Maybe. The cons were; you would be surrounded by everyone else’s love, you’d be alone, you could possibly leave alone and you might get food poisoning because the food on base is very hit and miss.

You look out to the window again, some rebels already in more formal clothing were making their way to the central most temple for the party. Perhaps you could go for an hour or two, then return to your room for your previously planned self-pitying and bad holodramas. You sigh and turn to look at your dark empty room.

“Well… why the hell not?” you mumble to yourself, getting up and making your way to the shower.

************************

You arrive to the party area roughly an hour later with a plan to stay for about 2 hours before faking tiredness and leaving while getting drunk in the process.

The majority of the room was dominated by a dance floor, filled with couples dancing every dance imaginable. You sigh bitterly, going straight to the bar area. The bartender looks at you with a chipper smile.

“What can I get for you Cap-“

“Something strong and alcoholic.” You grumble. He nods and turns to make your drink. The song shifts to a slower song as everyone in the room seemed to attach themselves together. You make a disgusted noise in the back of your throat. Gods, you hated this holiday. The bartender slides you drink next to your hands, you pick it up, downing it immediately.

The bartender looks to the empty glass them to you.

“Is everything alrigh-“

“Yeah, yeah” You cut him off with a hand wave. “Just keep ‘em coming.”

He nods and makes you another one, setting it in front of you. You pick it up, starting to drink it while surveying who else is at the bar. You get half way done when you see a familiar pair of tired eyes looking down into a full glass of alcohol.

You stare at him a bit, continuing to drink whatever the bartender puts in front of you. Your cheeks start to burn hotly. Cassian has drank half his drink but he refuses to look up from the counter. You head buzzes, you sip at part of your next drink, getting half way down to match his before you make your move.

“Hey Captain Andor!” You call out, the alcohol was making you loosen up and feel more confident.

He glances over to you, giving you a small wave back. You finish your drink, leaving the glass at your spot before going over to Cassian.

“What are you doing here Captain Andor?”

He sips his drink. “K said it’d be healthy for me to get out and socialize.”

“Socialize” You say while throwing up air quotes with your fingers. A small smirk dances on his face as the bartender sets another drink next to you. You start to drink it. “You’re droid wants you to get laid. He’s nicely telling you that you’re unbearably wound up”

“How many of those have you had Captain Y/N?” He asks amusingly, motioning towards your drink.

“Not nearly enough Captain Andor.” You finish the drink “I need at least a whole lot more as punishment to myself for talking myself to coming here” You glance to the bartender whose already making another.

“You’re here alone?” Cassian questions

“Well of course!” You groan “I’m always alone because I’m not all that pretty or charming.”

Cassian looks taken aback by your words. “Who says that?”

You throw your arms in the air “I says that! And my ex says that!”

You down another drink as the captain studies your sadden facial expression. “That Y-Wing pilot you were dating?”

You nod in response, not even questioning how he knew and/or remembered that. You start to sip at the next drink given to you by the bartender, whimpering a bit.

“He left me for that new X-Wing pilot that came a few months ago.” You slump onto the bar counter sobbing in your arms. “I leave for one mission and come back to all his stuff out of my room and them all snuggled up to each other! And I confront him about it and he says the pretty and charming stuff and im just so…. hurt by it all!”

Cassian pries the drink from your hand, setting it aside. He rubs small circles into you back trying to calm you down.

“Hey, hey, hey, hey listen to me.” He lowers his voice “He doesn’t deserve you and he’s wrong for leaving you like that, for saying you aren’t pretty and that you aren’t charming.”

You lift you head a bit and look at Cassian. “Do you really think that?”

He nods with a smile “Yes, I really think that.” He finishes his drink, motioning for another. You shyly grin back at him.  

Cassian takes your hands in his “Hey, you know what we should do?”

“Trash his Y-Wing?!” You inquire, face lighting up

“Mmmm no, we should dance.”

Your eyebrows scrunch in confusion. Dancing? With Cassian Andor? This had to be a dream. You stare at his face for any sign that this wasn’t real or some cruel joke. You found none.

“Okay yeah, l-lets dance.” You fumble your words a bit as he finishes his second drink. He grabs your hand and leads you towards the dance floor, as a more upbeat yet sensual song starts up.

He pulls you both towards the middle. Two strong hands firmly grasp your hips and pull you as close to him as humanly possible. You instinctively wrap your arms around his neck so you wouldn’t lose balance. Cassian smirks as he starts to sway both your hips to the music. You sway with him, trying your best to keep up with his quick and slightly rough pace. The room felt hot or maybe it was just you. Cassian’s face was just a centimeters from yours, his forehead pressed against yours. His eyes stared deeply into yours as he continued to gyrate to the music with you. It was defiantly just you. You said nothing, you mind was buzzing with millions of different things but, all you could feel yourself doing was staring back to him.  

His breathe fans against your face while one of his hands travels down your thigh a bit. His fingers absent mindedly push up the hem of your dress slightly as he grabs you by the thigh and hoists up one of your legs. This maneuver pulls you even closer to him if that was even possible. You feel you face grow warm and red. His lips were just millimeters away from your and you so badly wanted to close the gap. But you didn’t, you bit your bottom lip and watched as his eyes glance down to your lips.

A second later he dips you down, causing you to gasp in surprise. He lifts you back up immediately, pulling you close to him once more.

“That was unexpected Captain” you giggle, dancing with him more expertly now. He merely smirks in response.

You two continue on with the song, getting slightly handsier with one another with each passing beat. By the time the song finishes your both panting messes.  You feel hot and sweat plastered up against Cassian and you have no doubt that he feels the same way. You grab his hands, prying away from him and leading him back to the bar. You get to your prior spots, staring at one another in utter admiration. The bartender sets down two drinks before rushing off.

“Where did you learn to dance like that?” You ask Cassian as you sip your new drink

He shrugs “Undercover missions to clubs and such. What about you?”

“Just now in an attempt to keep up with you” You laugh.

“Well you did a good job” He smirks again.

Gods that smirk was beautiful. You could really get used to him throwing it your way as often as he was tonight. You lean against the bar as he takes one of your hands in his, squeezing it lightly. A wide grin spreads across you face. Yeah you could defiantly get used to this

I HOPE YALL LIKED IT PART TWO WILL BE UP EVENTUALLY/SOON/LATER/IN A FEW DAYS :”^)))) 

I also hope the dancing was good idk that was my first time writing it soooooo

If you wanna be tagged in future parts then tell me pls :))

@brownvalerie @raypclmer 

[snickiebear]

OHMYGOD SNICKIE I—

so i just finished going through your index and OH MY GOD??? i wish i’d done that earlier *facepalms*

thanks for the tip, i kinda see now who the shadows were referring to… 😉😉😉 (but not all because im slightly stupid)

BUT ALSO akdjbshdj im so glad ur open to the prequel idea and if it does happen i’ll be in the front row seat with hearts in my eyes 😍 what’s even crazier was that i was reading the war chapter in the index and i had to take maybe seven pauses because my imagination was considering the many possibilities!!! and i know i said prequel but oh my god this whole world you’ve built can be like whole series on its own — and im not yet even thinking about what’s going to happen post-OL&W!!! it’s just me thinking about the characters’ stories during the violent era, the first guild war, and the second guild war!!! i-

i seriously can’t even—

i’m gonna try to articulate my thoughts but if you can imagine smoke bombs exploding into vague plot lines, that’s what’s happening in my head right now so apologies in advance for the mess (also im going backwards lol):

Second guild war — hypothetically,,,, if there were an itasakushi era sometime in the history of men falling on their feet for sakura, i believe the itasakushi would have developed in the course of this war, although they may have been acquainted with each other earlier. common enemy: danzo, and what better way to wreak havoc and violence than to have him die by the hands of this (im calling it) legendary trio (but that’s also because im quite invested in them). the five-year captivity is also a huge plus because i imagine shisui and itachi running around like headless chickens looking for the apple of their cursed uchiha eyes

quick question (if it’s not a spoiler) - which naruto characters would fall under thundersins? ibiki is the guildmaster, so does that mean his guild is composed of t&i people? im not quite sure who (in the naruto-verse) can get fooled by danzo into waging this war…

First guild war — can u tell us who was the mage who killed a witch? who was the witch? what were they fighting about??? was it a serious badass battle? were they secretly friends?? lovers??? did danzo have anything to do with this??? or maybe hanzo??? HOLY SHIT WOULD THE AME CHARACTERS BE INVOLVED HERE??? AKATSUKI??? but it’s ok if it’s still a secret… we can go detective on this one

speaking of ame and the other nations in the canonverse — will they also be part of this au? i mean we’ve already seen suna folks in OL&W but maybe like chojuro from kiri and other notable characters from the other hidden villages?

And to the violent era — using canonverse as basis, this would most likely be the counterpart of the hashirama-madara founding a village arc and/or the period before that, since they were also just fighting to death and using child soldiers. but actually im more curious about the guild wars than this era unless something dramatic happened lol other than the self-indulging satisfaction of blood thirst 🤣🤣🤣 im just really more invested when sakura is around. i would say tho, the lore is still interesting because im quite curious as to why the beginning is violent? was it because the gods had a fallout and all they really knew was to be violent about it? if it’s something similar, i’m getting a little bit of mythology-percy jackson vibes (which i LOVE) so Y A Y

ok so that’s basically me vomitting my smoke bomb thoughts *deep breaths* P H E W thank you AGAIN for the brain workout 🥰 it feels nice to lose myself in this world hahaha! you don’t really have to answer my questions; i literally just typed what’s on my mind 😂 INDEX WAS AWESOME! it’s like super clues to the mystery that lead to MORE mystery so yeahp you have just seen the effects on my mind

so sorry to hear about how your day was faring! i’m grateful my ask came to you at the right time. 🥰 i was actually worried about not sliding in your inbox earlier because i already saw that there was a new chapter but it was only then that i had time to check it out. i’m glad i was able to uplift your spirits even just for a little while 💕💕💕

i hope you have a better rest of the week ahead! ❤️❤️❤️

P.S. i cant believe u think my joke was top tier, im seriously bad at cracking jokes irl so thank you for believing in my limited-to-no-successful-experience in joke making

🐱

🐱🐱🐱🐱!!!!!!

LMFAOOOO don’t worry if you don’t figure it out now :) it’ll all be revealed in due time!! Honestly?? Since you brought up the prequel thing i have been thinking not-fucking-stop about how else the world coud be explored. Like?? There is SO MUCH GOING ON!!!

we have the whole Inuzuka tribe, the different temples, so many different characters... there is so many rocks to turn over!!!

OKAY SECOND GUILD WAR ITASAKUSHI YES. we are on the same wavelength 🐱, bc i was thinking the same thing. They would probably meet during GW2 and hit it off pretty well. 1) because Shisui is one charming motherfucker, and 2) Itachi would def draw Sakura in with his smooth humor. Plus, as reclusive as Sakura is in this, she does enjoy being friends with them.

“shisui and itachi running around like headless chickens looking for the apple of their cursed uchiha eyes” this imagery fucking killed me. Oh my god. THATS SO FUNNY WTF

(okay so in the OG draft of OM&G it starts with saku not knowing any of the boys and meeting them for the first time. she knew sakumo [who was dead in this one] and itachi + shisui [they were close friends].

and sasuke was being a total asshole [as usual] and sakura shuts him up with telling him that she's slept with both itachi and shisui. and then all three of them together. to which sasuke has an ANEURYSM LMFAO

but in this one, ItaSakuShi DEF goes on missions together after GW2 and totally fuck and get drunk and hang out. its verified, it has happened, i am comfirming this.)

Ok so!!!! Thundersins would consist mainly of non clan people in Nart. So, Lee, Tenten, Gai, Anko, Genma, ect. Though, we won’t be seeing Gai, Genma, or Anko until much, much later :) Though, Shisui is a part of the Thundersins guild, because he’s just more suited for assassinations rather than wizarding.

so basically, i'm just kind of putting people wherever i think they'd be suited best!

Danzo himself is a tricky bastard and at the time of GW2, Thundersins is still a relatively “new” guild, and they’re mainly human at this point, meaning that they were the weakest guild. It mostly comes down to the fact that Danzo, the manipulative asshole, was able to get their aid. He kept the entire kidnapping a secret for years (i’m estimating at least fifty or so) because the war and then it came to light by some spies or sum

As for the first guild war LMFAO i have absolutely no idea at all which mage killed what witch, i didn’t really think about it tbh! Maybe it was one of sakura’s bullies,,, LMAO honestly? I’ll leave all of that lore to you!!! I like keeping some details vague just so readers can take it and RUN AHAHAHHA. So yeah! Maybe they were lovers! And the entire killing was an accident! Who knows!

OKAY SO! This is going to make sound TERRIBLE. But i hadn’t even thought of Mist or Ame or any of the other villages until you said something LMAOOO

Well… the akatsuki plays a HUGE role in the next two fics,, so i can’t really say much about them hehe…

I do love chojuro and mei and haku and just LKSMDANFKSLD yeah. Going to be honest: they totally slipped my mind which is awful. Head in hands frfr. But i can tell you this:

Mei would be a mage, Chojuro would be either an assassin or a mage… one of the two… haku and zabuza are assassins. Ao would probably be a wizard too.

As for the other Jinchūrikis,,,, you’ll have to wait for the next two (if i have...write them… haha..)!

THE VIOLENT ERA! And yes! So, this is basically the time where the Living are the most… animalistic? Especially since the gods’ “fallout” as you call it! Thepheria served as a balance to both Peace and War, she is Balance in the very sense of the word so… if something happens to her, the entire world goes into cause and it can take a long time for it to find equilibrium!

Nothing huge happened here, this was like the “stone age” of this world and very self indulgent with the whole savagery of it, but also highlighting that deep, deep down these Living (and humans) are angry and violent at their cores. Its their roots and no matter how they progress, it will always come back to war and bloodshed.

AND OMG!! A FELLOW CAMP HALF BLOOD CAMPER HELLO!!!! I love pjo so much!!!! My first series that got me loving fiction and the worlds we can build!!!

I’m so glad you liked the index!!! Its both for you and me because half the time i can’t keep track of what information i want to use/verified so… it keeps me consistent (because i am horrible at it LMAO)

Please don’t ever worry about sliding in here “late”!!! Life is busy and the chapters are a little long, plus time will always keep marching on (omg that rhymed)! And! Please don’t feel obligated to come scream with me! Just knowing that you’re enjoying my work is enough to fuel me!!! :))))))

I feel you on the jokes 🐱, i am not funny irl at all HAHAAHA but your joke was hilarious, im crackin up just thinking about it LMFAOOO

Have a great week 🐱!!!!!! <33333333