#and someone said left a tag in one of my mikami posts that was like “mashallah brother mikami” and. i thought about it all day

[totheidiot]

maashalla brother mikami he is making his pilgrimage for kira

[luchicm04]

lost in the forest - part 17

Masterlist

Summary: A new day brings arguments, culture shocks and awaited visits.

Pairing: Senju Tobirama/Original Female Character

Tag: #lost in the forest fic

posted on ao3

Word Count: +4k

Overall warnings: canon-typical violence, adult content, time skips, angst, kidnapping

It’s difficult to reach an agreement when you only have solutions for a topic. She huffs and crosses her arms to constantly massage her forehead so that the headache doesn’t increase as she glares at the person who doesn’t understand her point. 

“You’re not a baker.” Valid observation from an indignant man when she wants to give some points of improvement in his process. She sighs... the poor man maintains his demeanor from a past moved among the shinobi ranks and today retired for some reason. 

“I know I’m not,” the woman reluctantly admits. 

“So what right do you think you have to tell me how to make by bread?!” Indignantly, the unkind man refutes between the corridors of the busy village. There are many people coming and going and above all the facades are beginning to be decorated as a symbol of the visit of someone important. 

Karen hasn’t been involved, busy with Tobirama’s obsessions... yet she has these little moments of respite, where she thought it was a good idea to give part of her mind to that guy. 

One that didn’t take it very good. 

“I know I have no right, you do a very good job, I would just consider having the correct yeast and putting only corn or pure flour in your bread so that it doesn’t become tough... in addition to maintaining the correct temperature and time in the oven.” She doesn’t know a lot about this job, but sometimes she worked in a supermarket store in the bakery section. 

She knows there are important things so that it is not so hard. 

“Tch...” 

“Karen?” Someone calls next to her. Hashirama blinks between the two people standing there almost in the middle of the passageway that leads directly to the main house.  

“Hashirama-sama.” With a tone of respect, the beaker breaks the tense silence between them, still focused on her. “This woman wants me to change my recipe,” he growls reluctantly. 

“I didn’t say it would change... just that you could make it cleaner and the rest that I told you,” the civilian dismisses calmly and with a not hidden sigh. “I don’t know how he can’t just take it as an improvement... something to work with.” 

“You are insolent.” 

“I’m not.” 

“You are,” the baker states confidently when Hashirama sighs, raising his hand. 

“It would be better if we left things here... Karen, please try not to make comments that could be misinterpreted to our people,” the man with long hair comments, making said woman raise her eyebrow firmly and with a gesture of ‘are you seriously telling me that?’. “And Kantarou, just take this as something innovative. The lady here has some very good comments.” 

As a leader he is remarkable... but as a mediator, she supposes it is the only thing she will get. 

“Well, I just wanted to point that out,” Karen raises her hands calmly. It’s been a little time since she started so she wants to keep her profile low for now. 

“Of course, Hashirama-sama.” The baker glares at her for the last time to leave and enter with a hollow sound from the door. The civilian sighs and looks at the one who continues trying to decipher her with great curiosity. 

“What?!” The woman grudgingly blurts out with a soft snort. 

“You are coming out of your confinement... and are you seriously provoking people?” Hashirama says with a mocking tone, changing to English easily. He no longer struggles like before and he is confident that many do not understand what they are talking about. Continuing her walk towards the main office, she sighs... she does not comment on the shameless detour that is taking that leader. 

She lets him be. At the end of everything, she hears from Mikami that his fiancée will come these days. He is surely anxious and looking for anything to divert his tensions. As long as Tobirama does not tell her off, his presence does not bother her. 

“It’s not my fault. I just commented on the obvious.” 

“You are a civilian, and considering what they say about the death of...” The leader sighs. “You should not say anything else.” 

“I know that I have a lot of work with Tobirama, but there are things that with a simple adjustment would be... the bread is hard, it doesn’t taste like anything and I know it can improve.” 

“How?” 

“Well, it has to do with the flour, the temperature and many factors that I only have in theory. But I never made the dough from 0.” 

“Huh?” 

“Usually where I worked, the dough was already made. We only made sure that the oven was good, the time and the materials to be made with certain recipes already in place...” She shrugs remembering those young days. “So that’s all I know.” 

“Without being a baker, you are saying those things to mine.” 

“Sorry for making comments about continuous improvement,” the civilian complains, continuing her walk without explaining what she means by that comment. “By the way, have you finished reviewing the processes?” 

Hashirama gives her an amused laugh at such a shameless turn of talk. He snorts to look at her again. “Tobi is working right now with the latest adjustments... I’m sorry he has been bothering these days.” 

“He is always annoying,” the woman admits shamelessly. “Although the next time I want to kick him out, I will ask him about the origin of your war... or simply things he doesn’t want to answer.” 

“He told me that you asked... would you seriously have a solution knowing that?” 

“Something like that... By understanding the basis of the problem you can usually skip to a good solution... only it is complicated and most of the time one of the nations loses.” 

“Nations?” The man asks horrified. 

“Sorry, I just put it into what I know,” she raises her hand easily. “I’m just... I’m saying that well, many times things are lost due to pride, revenge, money, power and everything else.” 

“Mmm... From what you said about your world.” Hashirama blinks a few more times... he looks hesitant for a while, which makes her return to a question she usually has on days when she has too much time to think. 

“You know... despite the hard start and the way you treated me, I have always wondered... are yu happy with me being here?” 

“I think you already said that differently,” the shinobi accepts. 

“Well, one thing is why and another is that if you agree with me being here... even though you don’t know anything other than I’m not...” She remains silent, not willing to say it out loud. More than a year later it is still difficult... but the months go by quickly and with that the light experiences that she has become accustomed to. 

She doesn’t want to admit it... but she already considers this clan a safe place. 

“Just... are you guys really okay with that? ...Considering how paranoid, traditional and sharp you are,” the woman blinks with confused intention without losing the rhythm of the step. The leader snorts, crossing his arms with a thoughtful gesture. 

“I don’t think this is the time for that.” 

“Mmm... why?” 

“We won’t get anywhere if you keep thinking too much,” the man laughs with a sunny attitude. “Besides, I’m sure there are better things to do, right?” 

“Rude.” 

“Why?!” 

“For changing my conversation... I seriously don’t know if you’re the only idiot.” 

The man arches dramatically. Karen wonders if this drastic change of atmosphere is natural to huff amused. The pout is worth remembering in someone whose age she estimates to be more than 20 and less than 24... how old is he exactly? 

So she doesn’t hesitate to pat his head like she used to do to her sister. She smiles softly. “Fine, I’ll leave the topic for now... I’m grateful that you don’t ask me about the truth.” She feels the tension in the adult, a few rare seconds that her take off her actions and look ahead. “So? ...who are you running from?” 

Hashirama blinks, composing himself. He smiles again with his broad attitude, denying any dark plans to get around his responsibilities. 

They were weird sometimes. 

──

She never had to see her gender as a work impediment. Of course there are some things that must be taken into account when being a woman in the modern world, not only because of the complexes, traditions and observations that have been dragging for years like a chain that begins give up weight... the social pressures of being single at 30 years old and how loneliness was her best weapon when they talked about a romantic topic. 

She saw it as a hindrance, a thing that distracts from her true potential as a modern woman. Karen prioritized her profession, family... never the third type of balance. 

If you are successful, you must always sacrifice one or two of the three concepts mentioned above. 

She didn’t have much free time either... but she valued the little she had. 

But now, she just huffs crossing her arms, annoyed at having some hateful comments about how she should be married. Touka is not the best company... she’s annoying and a ninja very focused on bringing up the topic of her wedding or engagement. 

Not to mention, old Hiasha wasn’t the only one who saw her as a future prospect to bring children to the clan. 

“Don’t you have another topic to talk about?” She complains angrily when she is chased on one of her few visits to the main house with other scrolls in hand. Tobirama has left them and sent a message to Kaori to bring them. 

He’s an idiot... That never goes away. 

“No, the truth is I’m just curious,” the kunoichi shrugs with agility and a happy hum. She supposes that whatever she interpreted about that day they talked about their feelings changed something in their dynamic. She thought it would be worse, but apparently it was quite the opposite. “ It’s just that being so old... I mean, how old are you? ” She is dubious... quite nosy and direct. 

At least she hasn’t asked Hashirama, who is the only person who knows her age. 

“Not relevant.” 

“Of course it is!” The girl complains with a pout. “For example, I will soon turn 18. Oba-sama says that she will soon start looking for my fiancé,” she says it with a strange gesture that she does not want to pay attention to. 

“Seriously... you are very young.” 

“I’m not. Actually, I waited a long time...” She looks towards the main house with a feeling that she guesses. 

“Why don’t you talk to them?” She decides to ask. “I mean, if you don’t want to marry someone else, sometimes being direct is the best.” 

“What are you saying?!” Horrified, the kunoichi blushes. Who would have thought that someone as infamous as the woman could change her mind so quickly... as always when she touches what her heart points to, as clear as water. 

She obviously likes the clan leader. 

Karen laughs amused at the juvenile drama in her eyes, unnecessary when she has a lot to work with. Plus, the kunoichi still has a surprised gesture at how easily she says things. Maybe she should think twice before she gets into real trouble because of her tongue, like with the baker whose case was only observations that he still does not apply. Rude. “Good that you are direct with what you feel.” 

“He is engaged.” 

“I know. However, just so you can go on, turn the page and see the future.” 

“For a civilian, you say very strange things.” 

She glares, offended by such disregard for her own contributions. Doesn’t she have another person to bother? “If you don’t like it, you can go with your friends from the clan.�� 

“They are all married or on missions,” she shrugs with a light pout. Even though they are all familiars, sometimes the dynamic really reminds her of the corporate ones she used to work for. Complicated. 

Touka sighs defeated. She may be a civilian but she still doesn’t do anything physical anymore, at least she lowered the intensity of her interactions and bad temper. “Just... well, Oji-san always told me it could be, but then... the Uzumaki clan is powerful... a family with a great bloodline,” she remembers as if it were the truth, one she cannot overcome. 

Karen thinks that they have the old teachings. She sighs because the value of blood can be a special case with their magic, considering the fact that Hashirama is the only one who can make trees and all those wonders that he told her one of those days. 

She scratches her chin. “And what do you expect from the future?” She decides to focus better on Touka, who is blinking lost. “I mean, I know you want to get married but... what then?” 

“I will have many children,” the woman easily accepts, marveled at her goal. She cannot blame her when it is clear that they instilled this type of value in her, although she has to give them credit for making them shinobi in some way less lethal than men. 

Comparisons that she continues to draw with her mind raised in a different civilization. 

Gender defines your role within this small society. Seeing Tobirama greet her at the door was strange, even more when Touka simply disappeared without leaving any kind of trace. She blinks, stopping awkwardly. She assumes she has warnings regarding what she did last time. 

Especially when said annoyed albino crosses his arms with his judicious and hard red gaze, like when he tries to decipher what she says or does. She snorts, not saying anything and passing by to focus on the adjustments she brings. 

She knows it will be a long afternoon. 

The infamous ninja had many comments regarding what should be considered. 

The man is difficult to please. 

──

They usually argue for hours about the issues of the moment. Karen raises her chin, not at all intimidated by that fatal look that she is the object of from the indignant man who looks at her as if he were going to put knives on her. The crumpled paper on the floor is a symbol of the work they have been redoing due to the foolishness of someone seeking to improve what she has planned. 

It’s not that she’s against it... but she doesn’t like being told that she’s a civilian idiot. 

“Seriously...” She sighs, trying not to give in to violence when she knows she would lose. She is a leader, she reminds herself bitterly with her many emotional intelligence courses that she begins to review in her mind... some that failed at the beginning of all this mess. 

The idiot is god at getting on her nerves... driving her mad. 

“What you say is silly. No one would dare to burn our entire land, it is unnecessary to have shelter areas.” 

“I thought we were over this part,” the woman complains with a determined crossing of her arms. That room is the only one they own and where they work together. A clear example is the large table in the middle along with several parchments, ink and brushes. 

She hates this type of organization and is too sleepy for her patience to be at its maximum. 

It is not. 

“I am just stating the obvious.” 

“I know you are proud of your clan, family and your job... but it doesn’t hurt to have a plan B for everything. Identifying safe areas to protect, leaders as we had proposed... what changed?” 

“It does not matter.” 

“Tobirama, you have made me review what you did. Right now, between the two of us, we have made considerable progress for you to say that you do not need an evacuation place for any disaster. I am not saying that you are weak.” 

“You imply it.” 

“If I remember correctly, among the village there are many children, small non-combatants who cannot run between branches like the older ones do, nor possess your speed...” Karen purses her lips. “Including me... I know that I will die if I get wrapped up in this.” 

Tobirama snorts, but remains in his thoughtful position. At least now he is considering her point, although he is somewhat proud, he has a good head on his shoulders when he explains in detail what he means. 

It would be easier if he didn’t have that character, but she supposes not everything is possible in life. 

“Consider it... and this way, you can work on at least one evacuation route.” 

He exhaled tired. “I do not promise anything.” 

“I’m just saying... it’s your village we’re talking about.” 

“Mmmm...” Tobirama frowns slightly his expressionless face. 

“By the way, how are you going with the organization of the types of work?” 

“I already discussed it with Hashirama.” 

“Oh...” 

“It is not your business now.” 

“I see.” She doesn’t want to feel used, but as a civilian she assumes there are things that she can’t be informed about no matter how much she has helped in the process. “So... can I go now?” 

“Mmmm...” The albino grunts, but gives the sign. 

“Good,” she sighs, massaging her neck lightly. “Seriously man, you should be less intense... and eat.” 

The albino does not give her any kind of look when she passes by him. 

“And sleep... things won’t get better if you don’t sleep.” 

“I have better resistance, remember?” 

“Sane people don’t last more than two or three days without sleep. Then the hallucinations begin...” Karen remembers an old article she read regarding this, as well as a case in her police program where a girl killed her roommate as a result of her spending more than 6 days without sleeping a wink. 

She remembers it... and being a shinobi, she believes it will be worse. 

Tobirama gives her that ‘it’s not true’ look that he doesn’t express. 

“According to a study, a regular human cannot last more than two days without sleep. It causes cognitive, logical and other problems... It’s problematic,” she sighs, explaining in detail what she means. “Imagine if we add your magic to the equation.” 

“Chakra,” corrects the man. “And we are stronger.” 

“Sure, sure... just consider it, sleep.” 

“You are not my mother.” 

“No, but I know that you are more annoying when you are intense and without sleep... so make my life easier,” the woman complains, understanding a little of the routine of the obssesive shinobi, very different from his brother who she does not mention. She doesn’t have enough energy to continue talking about some kind of thing that will hardly be believed. 

She sighs looking at the beautiful stars above her head... at least the view is the best ever. 

──

Her days are opportune exactly on a certain day of that year. She feels alone... empty and without the desire to get up, almost like the depressive days she lived here, as a former civilian from a completely different world... There are times when the fact of being far from home falls on her head a lot. 

Right on her birthday, the second with this resigned destiny... How quickly time passes... she was never expressive about it, she didn’t like people to know unless it came up talking, because celebrating it is not exactly what she is looking into when there have been intense days of fighting not only with what Tobirama/Hashirama is looking for... but also with the council who wants to marry her to a close relative. 

An alliance with the aristocracy... damn the fact that the idea didn’t die with the impudent old man who grilled her. 

She snorts. 

She is in a bad mood. 

“Karen-san?” Mikami, as one of the few people who agree with her, looks out the door. She doesn’t know how timely she is on those days of the month... providing her with cloths for her use and bringing tea with her for her nerves. 

Before, she didn’t have these afflictions... now she just doesn’t why it hurts more. 

“I’ll be fine,” she complains, keeping her discomfort to see said kunoichi thoughtfully. “Is there something wrong?” 

She blinks confused to smile at her. “No... nothing.” 

“Mmmm...” She blinks, noticing that there really is something going on. “I know that I am a civilian and that I have many things that differ from your customs, but tell me... at least to me, I think talking about it is the easier solution.” 

“Uh..." She looks restless, like every shinobi she sees the distrust... the habit of locking up her problems to look at her lap a bit. The firm woman who was previously a witch when instructing her in manners looks uneasy... strange considering that she has been around for a long time treating her. 

“Well, whatever you want.” She doesn’t insist any longer than necessary. 

“No... just,” she sighs. “Ryu-san... he proposed to me.” 

“The man from the food warehouse?” She raises her eyebrow because the old man has finally made his move. She sighs... the age difference is marked but she doesn’t see that there is a problem within the clan. In the end, everything is handled differently. “And what do you think?” 

“I... I have not forgotten him,” she looks at her hand calmly, the one that surely remembers the coldness of her loved one’s body on that disastrous day. 

“I see.” 

“It is very soon... I feel like...” She looks into the distance. “Oka-san thinks it is time to settle down, take care of the garden and look after my family, for the clan.” 

“Mmmm...” She can say a lot about what she is against, but she sees the traditionalist point of it all. “And what do you want?” 

“To wait... I do not know,” she blinks, looking directly into her eyes. “When he proposed to me... I was happy. Now however... I do not feel anything. Oka-san says that feeling something is not necessary... that my age is passing.” 

“You’re not that old.” 

“For the clan I am, and I do not want to take certain missions... so I have no choice.” 

“There are always options.” 

“You do not understand,” Mikami says with a soft smile. “It is something different than what you think.” 

“Ugh...” She doesn’t like being told that she doesn’t understand. “We are women. I know how difficult perspectives are when they believe that we are only good for doing work that men wouldn’t do and giving birth, but we are more... we have feelings and they can’t force you.” 

The former instructor smiles. 

“But I’m giving you my opinion. You are a kind, strict and very good at what you do. Whatever you decide is your path and I will support you in whatever you like.” Karen still remains expectant. She is firm in her conviction to help the one who she believes is closest. “You are my friend and as such, I will listen to you when you need... I regret giving my opinion on the matter, just... if you don’t want to, they can’t force you.” 

The kunoichi looks at her with calmer eyes. The civilian sighs to give her a long, uncomfortable hug to who is not used to this type of touch. 

“I know you will be happy... and I hope you can still come back.” 

“Of course,” the woman simplifies, looking lighter. “It will be better to prepare your hot bath. Hashirama-sama has arranged a suit for today’s event, the first group of Uzu has just arrived.” 

“Oh...” She blinks at the information and looks at the woman who composes herself and shows her true teeth. The manners and etiquette are hers, so when she left the bathroom, she was greeted by the elderly Kaori with a slightly more elegant yukata, it was not abnormal. 

She sighs... she hopes it goes better than the time of her presentation. 

Right on her birthday. 

The second far from home. 

A/N: As you see another day has passed, ending with the arrival of Uzu with the fiancée of out beloved Hashirama... politics, the role within a type of culture of this style is somewhat traditionalist in a firm way, so being a feudal society is no different from what they expect from Karen, like cattle willing to be exchanged if they meet the price.

By alliance.

Our dear OC is also somewhat nosy in certain processes that she believes she can improve, even if she only has snippets of a theory... unintentionally offending those who practice their trade with dedication.

Thanks for reading

Author-chan out! 

[cat-soda]

in indigo

every time near brings someone back to life, his own lifespan is cut in half.

Pairings: one-sided meronia, implied mellodramattic

Word count: 1187

Warnings for: angst, hurt/comfort (mostly hurt lbr), major character death

Part 1 [2] [3] [4]

[AO3 Link]

Near hadn‘t let himself think about it, at first. There was still Kira to be dealt with, then reports to put on file, and housekeeping duties that needed to be done before they left Japan. But then, the day before their flight back to England arrived, and Near—

their bodies. He still had to do something about their bodies.

And he considered it. Delaying the move, pushing off the visit until he stopped getting dizzy at the thought of seeing either of them... like that.

But.

Corpses rot.

So he went. Identified them, quietly had Rester make arrangements for them to be sent home, and wondered how cruel it was to bury Mello at the place he’d hated so much. (Then again, maybe it hadn’t been the House he’d hated. Perhaps it’d just been Near.)

He almost doesn’t check the small apartment they’d been renting until Lidner asks him to accompany her. “There’re some things that Mello left behind for you, Near,” she says, soft-voiced. “You should probably take a look.”

Which was how he found himself blinking in the middle of their flat, staring at all the wires snaking all over the floor, the mattress shoved against the far-end wall, the Christmas decorations that they hadn’t even started to put away. Matt’s old GameBoy was charging next to a section of wall where it seemed he and Mello had started a playful argument in sticky notes. He steps forward and sends an old bottle of drugstore nail polish skidding across the room. Remnants of life covered in a fine layer of dust.

“Lidner.” His throat feels tight, and he clears it before trying again. “Lidner, please try not to disturb any of these objects. I’d like to preserve things as they were, as closely as possible.”

“Yessir.”

She hands him a folder, then a laptop. “This is it.” A note on the folder’s front says, For that shithead, Near, and Near studies Mello’s looping handwriting closely before hugging the two items close to his chest.

“Let’s go.”

---

Mihael Keehl.

Near repeats the name to himself over and over again, rolls it over his tongue, tries to imagine how it’d sound leaving Mello’s lips. My name is Mihael.

A pit’s growing in his stomach. He feels as though he’s already having trouble remembering what Mello sounds like. Of course, this isn’t really the case. Near’s memory is impeccable, and he’s especially always had a particular gift when it comes to remembering the specific undertones to one’s speech patterns and mimicking what it is he hears. He wouldn't forget a voice so easily.

Especially not Mello’s.

And yet,

My name is Mihael.

How would he have said it?

(Church bells are ringing in his ears.)

---

It had rained on the day A died.

Or maybe it was during her funeral.

Near couldn’t quite recall which it was. The days from that time had all seemed to melt together into a gray conglomerate of tears and heartache, and for Near, who had been very small, the church bells rang with enough ferocity to shake him to his very core.

Mello wasn’t very nice back then —had never been ‘very nice,’ really— but he’d stood in front of the doorway and blocked out the light as Matt sat besides Near’s curled up form and spoke in soft and gentle tones, helped him unfurl his fists from his hair, slowly, joint by little joint, then held his trembling hands. None of them had been old enough to attend her funeral, but they all knew grief, in their own ways. They’d all heard Beyond’s howling when he found her.

Probably, it’s when she died that the rain started, incessant and cold. It’s logical. What Near remembers in startling clarity, however, is that when B went away, he took the rain with him.

And the church bells came to a stop.

---

“Yo.”

Near blinks.

In the dark of L’s —now his— bedroom, Near was building himself a barrier out of Legos blocks. Its purpose wasn’t so much to keep anyone out, as it was to keep his predecessor’s things out of sight. Old folders and clothing on hangers alongside some knick-knacks the other children had sent L over the years. Near was surprised he kept them— he could even see some of Linda’s most ambitious paintings from when she was young hanging up on the wall. Above a chocolate fountain.

It wasn’t being used at the moment.

After reading the documents that Mello had left him, Near curled up on the floor beside L’s bed, staring at the empty space beneath. ‘The best dresser that died like a dog’... you were always so dramatic, Mello. He had been wondering, though. About what happened to B. About Naomi Misora. About L.

About Mello.

This was his voice, wasn’t it?

Then, Near’s stomach started churning, so he opened a large tub and started snapping Lego blocks together, and this was how Ryuk found him, several hours later.

“Yo,” he says again, like he was worried that Near hadn’t heard him the first time. “Damn, kid, you look like shit.”

“Thank you, Mr Shinigami,” Near replies, “for your astute observation.” Ryuk cackles as he continues putting blocks together. “Was there something you needed? I’m afraid that I’ve already burned the notebooks in Mr Mikami and Mr Aizawa’s possessions, so I can’t return them to you.”

“Nah, that’s not it.” Ryuk does a handstand and wiggles his feet in the air. “I still have mine, so that’s not a problem. And anyways, even if the King does have anything to say about the incident, Armonia Justin owes me a favor.” Without looking over, Near lifts his eyebrows, which Ryuk seems to take as curiosity, as he immediately follows with, “You know what sex is, don’t ya?”

He suddenly wishes that he does not. “Why are you here?”

“Just wondering.” Ryuk cackles again. He goes silent, watching with glowing red eyes as Near, wearing a puppet on each finger, arranges and rearranges painted Lego figures atop the highest points of his barrier. A blonde one stands directly in front of him, looking outwards and standing guard. That one, he doesn’t touch. “Say, kid,” says the shinigami. “Do you miss them?”

Near’s hands pause. He doesn’t answer.

“I was thinking: you don’t really look like you're cut out for this. I mean, look at you. You’re shaking.” The shinigami creeps closer. “But I can help you bring them back. You could bring them all back. If you want it bad enough, that is.” Near’s gaze shifts up from the floor and over to meet his. “What do ya think?”

A finger comes up to curl around white hair. “‘Once dead, humans can never come back to life.’ Is that not what the rules of the Death Note said?”

“Rules, Nate River,” snickers Ryuk, pulling out a white notebook from underneath his belt, “are meant to be broken.” He holds it out to Near, just under his nose. And there, right on the cover, read the words Life Note. “I think it’s about time you learned to be a rule-breaker.”

-----

a/n: *wheeze* i almost posted this onto ao3 without any tags.

i just wanna say whoever came up with the idea of a life note first... i'm going to fight you with my bare hands.

hope you guys enjoyed this fic! title is from deep indigo (although hitchcock is definitely more of a near song)

[mikami03iscancelled]

Callout Post for renai-tsumi/ai-to-tsumi/mikami03/nekomi03

I’m sure everyone who RP’s in the Persona 4 community (ESPECIALLY people who RP Yosuke Hanamura) has seen this person around, and not for necessarily for good reasons, so I’m going to get straight to the point.

This is a callout post for Han, also known as @inabas-prince, ai-to-tsumi, @renai-tsumi, mikami03, and nekomi03. 

Update: Han has changed her URL to our-twisted-love.

Update: Han has since moved blogs, so her current URL is unknown. That said, this post will remain up, for those who wish to know what Han has done and why this blog exists. 

I don’t like to do callout posts. I really, honestly don’t, since most are designed with a witch hunt in mind. However, this situation with Han has been going on for MONTHS, and clearly, nothing has changed. She hasn’t learned from her mistakes, and even though we did our best to keep the situation as controlled and as private as possible, she has bullied, harassed, and stalked people, MONTHS after they have stated that they want nothing to do with her.

Now, without further ado, let’s get started.

Before I begin, I would like to direct everyone to Mikami’s first callout, since it will provide context to the situation. Here is the tl;dr version:

Han is infamous in the Persona 4 fandom for harassing people, ESPECIALLY those who RP the character Yosuke Hanamura. She is also very infamous for trying to coerce them into ships, pressure them into NSFW roleplays, and will continue to try and contact them even when they have expressed NO interest in doing so. Unfortunately, one Yosuke in the fandom, under the URL kunaiflourish, has received the brunt of her harassment, as shown in the callout post before.

Han showed VERY obsessive behavior that became uncomfortable and flat-out creepy. She practically forced herself on kunaiflourish, and when they FINALLY blocked her, she wasn’t having it. I won’t provide screenshots here, since the callout speaks for itself. She began to send messages to kunaiflourish even MONTHS after they had blocked her, begging them to unblock her, and even wrote walls of text blaming kunaiflourish, saying that if they told her no and “communicated” with her, this never would have happened.

So right off the bat, we have: stalking, victim blaming, and harassment (both sexual and nonsexual) under her belt. She’s also not above trying to get other people involved, since, like in the callout, she tried to contact kunaiflourish’s friends and get answers from them. Talk about obsessive. 

Now, I know what you all are thinking. “This happened months ago, why are you bringing all of this up now, months after the situation has seemingly resolved itself?”

There’s a very simple answer to that: Because it hasn’t resolved itself. In fact, it’s worse than ever, because Han has managed to somehow show EVEN CREEPIER behavior than she did before.

This all started when she joined a Persona RP Discord that is run by heartofthemagician (Han has long since been banned from the Discord, in case anyone was wondering) as Nanako Dojima. A few people, including myself and other mods, were already well aware of her reputation, however, we came to a decision to let her stay. Call us naive, but we like to give everyone a fair chance, and didn’t want to ban her from the server right off the bat without reason. She hadn’t done anything to anyone in the server at the time, so we reluctantly let her stay.

Big mistake.

First of all, I am unsure if anyone is aware, but Han has been known to RP incest. Unfortunately, she has long since deleted said RPs (either that, or has made them difficult to find. If anyone can provide this evidence, the submission box is open), however, she DID admit to RPing this content when she was confronted by a server member about it. Instead of trying to deny it, she admitted that she tagged it and asked “Why can’t you blacklist the tag?”

While this in itself is not necessarily bad (I, personally, do not condone incest, but I understand that fiction =/= reality), it is pretty obvious from her reputation alone that she does not understand the boundary between fiction and reality. This was shown the entire time she was in the server: Every chance she got, she was creepily affectionate with our Yu Narukami.

Now, these interactions seem mostly innocent, but they happened VERY frequently. People were already uncomfortable by Han always derailed conversations in the server, talked over people in voice chat, and tried to make everything about her. She was incredibly self centered, and tried to turn every IC interaction towards Nanako.

On top of that, given her history with incest, it only further made the Yu uncomfortable. Han has been known to try and force ships, and seems to have a strange fascination with imouto-type characters. Take this information as you will.

Things went downhill when the Akechi finally confronted her about her behavior, and told her to tone it down a notch. She left for a few days, and when she came back, naturally, the Akechi (who also happens to be my boyfriend) decided to ask if she had reflected on her actions.

This is where the meat of everything begins. Unfortunately, because of Tumblr’s tendency to fuck up images, it would be tedious to upload every single screenshot at once, so I have taken the liberty of placing the conversation into a drop box link, which can be found here. For context, the conversation between “aruru” and “Godess Bestow” is the conversation. The first three caps in the folder take place after the conversation between them. Also, just to be safe, this link does contain mentions of suicide and self harm. 

Another tl;dr version:

Han admitted to stalking kunaiflourish and continuing to send them memes and messages on anonymous even 5 months after they had blocked her.

Han admitted that she still plans on getting in touch with kunaiflourish and MAKING them write with her.

Han claims that she is not stalking because “no personal information was involved”.

Han refuses to admit that she is in the wrong, and still blames kunaiflourish, stating that kunai NEVER gave an explanation for why they blocked her.

Han tried to force Aruru into talking to kunaiflourish and other RPers to get them to unblock her.

Han sent anonymous messages to Aruru asking why he blocked her, even though he gave his reasons for blocking her and told her to leave him alone.

Han threatened to commit suicide to me after she tried to get answers from ME after Aruru blocked her. As you can see, it didn’t go over well.

After all of this, you would think that Han would have taken the hint and left Aruru alone, even after he blocked her on Tumblr. Unfortunately, that wasn’t the case at all, and in fact, Aruru had to turn off anonymous after he received this lovely message from Han:

And I’m not the only person who you sent this shit to, either.

Nice job lying about trying to kill yourself and guilt tripping someone who was fucking uninvolved with the situation.

I believe this is all that needs to be said about the situation, and all of these screenshots speak for themselves. 

Han, if you’re reading this (though I doubt you will. You won’t listen to anyone unless it’s to sugarcoat you and coddle you, right?):

kunaiflourish DID give you your answer for why they won’t write with you and has EXPLICITLY told you to leave them alone. Aruru has also told you to leave him alone, and yet you continue to message them.

Did you know that you can go to JAIL for this? This is enough evidence to have LEGAL CHARGES pressed against you for STALKING. Here is an entire site about it if you don’t believe me.

 You can have a CRIMINAL RECORD, all because you can’t take ‘no’ for an answer. Is that what you want on your hands? A record that could PERMANENTLY ruin your chances at good education and getting a decent job (though, since you’re supposedly 20 years old and still in high school, you did a fine job of doing that on your own), all over ROLE PLAY. All over playing make believe on a blogging website.

Please, for the love of all that is holy, STOP doing this shit. You are not only hurting yourself, but you’re hurting people and only further sullying your reputation. You are making people fear for their wellbeing and actively and KNOWINGLY making people hurt themselves for your own selfish gains. If you are truly as suicidal as you say... Although, I have my doubts, since you’re posting on your blog like everything is all right barely 24 hours after you just threatened suicide,

then please, for the love of god, get some professional help, because you desperately need it. You are going to destroy people’s lives if you keep doing what you do.

REFLECT ON YOUR ACTIONS, AND LEARN FROM YOUR MISTAKES BEFORE YOU DESTROY YOURSELF.