#and some of yall still try to make perfect court aus

[0hmyg0th]

𝐟𝐨𝐮𝐫'𝐬 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐲, #𝐁𝐀𝐓𝐁𝐎𝐘𝐒 ★ ( modern au! headcannon )

★. . . introducing a new series and a new fandom 𓆩♡𓆪 this is a modern alternative universe of a court of throns and roses. this is only a headcanon! i'm not sure if i'm going to make this into a drabble. we'll see how this goes :) ★ . . . synopsis ⸻ you accidentally throw one to many parties a few... many times and now all of a sudden your landlord is kicking you out. who knew!? and on that unlucky day your angel from above found a "roommate needed" poster on one of the bullent board at school. desperate times calls for desperate measures. who knew this day and every single day after that would turn into the most luckest days in your life. 𓆩♡𓆪 ★ . . . note ⸻ female!blackreader, "the inner cirlce" will only consist of rhys, cassian, azriel for now and mor is not related to rhys in any shape or form.

it's been 3 months since the boys ⸻ ( not azriel apparently ) opened their hearts and their homes to you! and you still couldn't believe how things drastically changed, like you almost found a box to live in! Basically. but in all seriousness, you were extremely grateful. you didn't know where you were gonna end up 3 months ago so now, you carried nothing but gratitude in your heart.

however, living with three grown men can be a hassle and sometimes it can be overwheleming. with their scents suffocating you with every step they took around you and oh! did i mention that they are bigggg like fuck! with their muscle straining against their shirts and sometimes you would get caught staring at them; moslty rhys. but in all honselty it wasn't your fault!, like they should as least put on a shirt once or twice when you are around the house.

which brings up the topic of: ground rules you felt like yall needed some especially after the countless of times the boys would walk in on you changing or walking in on them. so it was perfect time to bring up this conversation

"honey, i'm home" cassian sang the words, with rhys snickering in the back and if you listen real close you can hear the huffs and grunts of azirel.

"hello, boys" you purred, you rose to your heels; trying carefully not to ruin your freshly panited nails. "i need to talk to yall." you stated clamly. the three tall giants gazed over you, azirel was puzzle, rhys show signs of concern and cassian just stuffed his big mouth with trail mix while the crumbles dropped periodically onto the shiny hardwodden floor.

you leaned back onto the kitchen counter, supporting yourself by your elbows. the small movemnet caused your chest to rise towards the celling and with your relaxed posture made the boys feel at ease. all three of them are insanely attractive that it even hurts to look at them.

rhys sat on the arm chair with his legs spreading wide as he steadied himself on it. your eyes didn't faltered, you didn't look down there you told yourself  it was a trap to look there and oh boy there were countless of times where rhys caught you looking.

cassian sat on the edge of the cushions with his elbows perched on his kness.

Azriel standing the farthest away from you and the boys. brooding and letting the shadows of his bedroom engulfed him as he leaned against his doorway.

"so.." you trailed, and they watched intensively. your eyes dropping to rhys to your dried toes. they let you gather your thoughts, “We need to lay some ground rules, or like at least mention it"  The invisible weight dropped off your shoulder, and so did they.

“oh, that's not so bad. you had me worried" cassian confessed. they all agreed in union.

you laughed, “How do feel about me bringing in guys over"  You swallowed. your eyes darted to Rhys, whose expression was shocked to Cassain who tried to hide his smile and Azriel looked puzzled. as if,  you looked like the type to never have a boyfriend or even mention a boy before.

 you felt offended, "well don't look so fucking shocked" you spit out. rhys inhaled deeply as his mouth began to move, "no no, i-its just-

"we don't mind"

your eyes landed on Cassain after he cut off Rhys. you locked eyes on him and somehow he had you under his spell, he was so easy to talk to, and by easy you meant; all he had to do was look at you, and then all of sudden your lips were moving and he's giving you nothing but warmth.

"good, cuz-

"no overnight stays." azriel stated firmly. he locked eyes with you.  holding you into his stare, like some sort type of competion.

 you pushed yourself of the counter and nodded your head in agrument.  "of course, this isn't a bed and breakfast. they leave before the sun comes up" you reply quickly. not backing down from he's intimate stare

"just keep the ...noise down" rhys mutters. you would of thought that you guys was talking about the bird and the bees in front of yall parents.  like im pretty sure they bring in girls here all the time, well.. actually you haven't see that or you haven't even seen them with a girl in the first place. and you are 100% sure that their asses is not celibate.

it kinda makes you wonder a bit.."so um what about you guys ?" you curled you lip behind you teeth. rhys drly chuckled, he turned around to face cassian and azriel. which made you even more curious to know their sexual relations. i mean, its none of your business but at the same time you can't help to wonder. like do they share women secretly? or are they embrassed to bring with them around because you're here. 

"uh, let's refocus. any more rules you got sweetheart?" your attention left rhys's who didn't stop staring to cassian who cheeks stained a pinkish color. you rasied your eyebrows, oh yeah they are definitely hiding something. and you have every intentions on finding out what. 

but for now you continue with your ground rules,

number one: one night stands leave before breakfast 

number two: knock, always knock. 

number three: no snooping. ( az looked at you when he said that )

number four: help with grocery, dishes, cooking etc. ( duh ) 

number five: split household chores/clean after yourselves ( the boys are clean people for the most part but just in case )

number six: no being half naked or naked in the presence of eachother ( very important!!) 

⸻ you know, you thought living with three full grown men would have cause you to pull out your hair in distress but now with ground rules in place you wouldn't mind living here full time. instead of a temporary stay, like you planned in the beginning. 

author's note: i wanted to write more but tumblr got this thing about can't go over 4000 thousands word count so i hope yall enjoy this!

comment and rebloging is appreciated not required :)

[vvhymack]

IM SCREECHING LIKE HONESTLY like neil doesnt even have press duty ??? and this reporter goes like “is it true that you’re marked for court” and neil literally HALTS and turns around AND HANDS ANDREW HIS HELMET and goes like “im sorry, did u say smth ?? :)))” and THEN YALL AND THEN !!! THIS FUCKER GOES LIKE “heard rikos recruiting u to the perfect court” and neil is like “over my fucking dead body” but no his real response is 1000x better like this asshole, this icon, “oh u mean this, sweaty ? :))” pointing at his tattoo and then he calls riko WRONG and THICKHEADED and then this motherfcuker right, he has a death wish and goes like “u dont think u deserve the number” and ohhhh my GODDDD NEIL JOSTEN THE LEGEND GOES LIKE “he doesn’t deserve us :o” and everyones like ???? and neil the legend continues like “ yea lbr rikos good but like hes a hard person 2 respect liek i just figured he was an EGOCENTRIC MANIAC who was so desparate for his own glory he refused to see the potential in anyone else. so he underestimated me and invited me to the nest etc etc” and THEN HE GOES LIKE “oh yea riko totally admitted he was wrong” 

AND THEN IM FUCKING DYING YALL THIS IS OVER, this reporter goes like “arent u moving to edgar allen” and NEIL MY BOY IS LIKE “it’ll never happen lol i could barely tolerate them for two weeks, theyre horrible human beings” and THEN THIS SMUG ASS BITCH GOES LIKE “u know wat, thats petty (which im not :))))) i’ll cheer them on till finals and then C R U S H them. keep an eye on us, its gonna be exciting ;) ;)” and then HE WALKS OUT BOOM BITCH MIC DROP 

[a-libra-writes]

who do you think would prefer an s/o who’s charming, more of a people person, using their words to get what they want vs an s/o who’s more quiet, strategic, and plans and schemes to get what they want? is it a case of opposites attract, or would they want someone to compliment them? 👀

.......so i ended up having a lot of thoughts about this LOL 

okay so i think this depends on the s/o’s morals! like you can be scheming to help others instead of hurting them. so let’s go with that bc i dont wanna brainstorm a low ethics/morality s/o (this makes me think of 7KPP, a fantastic visual novel that’s the only decent Court Drama Simulator vn i’ve come across). Also there’s a loooot of characters so imma just list the ones I have Strong Thoughts on and sort them by region oh lord what have you done my dork is showing

Northbois

So while I feel like Robb and Ned would prefer a more outgoing and charming sort of person ... I really can’t help but ship them with someone whose more cunning and can actually play the game of thrones. Like lord someone help these Starks because their intrigue score is 0 and they need someone protecting them from Tywin, Roose and Walder LOL. I can really see both father and son thinking their s/o is this sweet thing and not having a clue of how much scheming they’re actually doing to protect Winterfell... Ned would probs catch on after a while but Robb would just be blinded by love and devotion haha. 

Sansa would probs want the first ideally, but as she gets older she’d greatly appreciate someone who has that sort of cunning and uses it for good purposes. Also she’d like a calm and steady personality to rely on.

Jory is a straight up honest guy to a fault, kinda like Ned, so he’d also prefer the first type of person and appreciate them more.

OKAY SO you’d think Roose would go for the second type but HEAR ME OUT. I think he’d go for both equally, or a mix of the two. Listen. I have a strong HC that he would be very attracted to someone who is his opposite in many ways - outgoing, charming, sweet and kind. If that person also happens to be cunning as hell and willing to manipulate anyone - even him - to protect what’s their’s, oof. He’s gone. I think he’d really get off on the idea of having an s/o who everyone is shocked he’s involved with bc “omg they’re sooo nice” and only he really knows their “other side”, so to speak. Realtalk I don’t think he’d go for someone just as morally awful as him bc he’d see them more as a threat than a potential partner.

Ramsay is a little shit that would also be attracted to the first kind of person but honestly needs the second type to keep his ass in line. That’s the sort of person who would figure him out and manipulate him accordingly so he isn’t skinning the goddamn neighbors. Also he wouldn’t give a damn about their morals so go off i guess just dont start any revolts in the north

VERY Northbois

Jon really doesn’t care for schemes, even if he acknowledges they’re useful, and he’d be attracted to someone who knows just what to say and is charismatic bc lord knows he’s struggled w that for a bit.  Benjen really loves outgoing, charming and talkative peeps esp when they wiggle their way out of stuff or convince the upper command of the Watch to consider a different plan. He’ll be soooo attracted to that. Edd is kinda meh on both I’d feel? Like he’d prefer a quieter person but not a scheming sort, that’s too troublesome to deal with. I think he could come around to the first one eventually.

Mance super respects the second type, he finds it very attractive actually, especially when they start manipulating him into something and he catches them. Tormund is a dork and prefers outgoing people, totally doesn’t notice when he’s being taken in lol. He rlly hates the second sort of person, sees them as snakes.

Southbois

Edmure would absolutely be drawn to a gregarious and outgoing person! And if they can talk their way into or out of things thank god bc fishboy has a habit of putting his foot in his mouth. I really don’t think it’d work out with a schemer person bc of that Tully honor, and unlike Ned or Robb, Edmure would start to catch on (I don’t buy into the show characterization of Edmure like frack that he’s not an idiot). Brynden has a lot of experience and has seen a lot of BS, so he’d understand the risks and sacrifices his s/o would be making when they’re playing the game, and he’d really wish they wouldn’t!! Like yeah it’s to protect their family and friends but he wishes they didn’t have to do that. He wants to protect them on his own.

Brienne REALLY prefers someone whose honest and can talk their way in and out of things!! Like the Starks she’s very honorable and has no patience for lies and manipulating even if it’s for something good. It’d take a lot for her to trust and be attracted to that kind of person, they’d have to like... be very honest with her about what their plans are and why they’re doing them. 

Kingslanding bois

oh lord Stannis okay so INITIALLY he’d be put off by both personalities for diff reasons - outgoing because socializing and diplomacy is something he just sucks at and the second one because holy hell he hates dishonesty and scheming. Now, he can admire a strategic and collected mind, but as soon as dishonorable plots roll in he starts side-eyeing. I think it would take some time for that latter personality to gain his trust, and if this is like... his wife we’re talking about, she’d probs have to scheme behind his back, even if it’s for his own sake. For an outgoing person, he could eventually befriend or fall for them once some common ground is found. He wouldn’t be able to admit how much he admires their people skills haha.

Davos understands that sometimes manipulating and scheming is needed and can be used for good, but personally he prefers a more diplomatic, out in the open approach. So the first type is def his kinda person. He could still befriend the second type as long as they’re not assholes, though.

Tywin would honestly work with both sides of the spectrum and in between, but ultimately, you’d have to understand who you’re dealing with. There’s no honor or high ground being involved with Tywin Lannister, and the s/o should expect to get dragged into his schemes, esp when he trusts them ... and that’s no easy feat. Ultimately it’s less of how you get what you want and more of ... what are you willing to do to get it. Pesky morals and all that.

Tyrion has had enough of his dad’s bullshit that he’d only be romantically involved with the first type, someone who uses sass and flattery like he does. He can still respect and befriend a more cunning person, though. Jaime also prefers the first type, he thinks it’s just because “oh I like outgoing and forward people” and not...”i’ve spent years dealing with lies and schemes from father and cersei”, yanno that old chestnut. Bronn definitely prefers gregarious and cheeky peeps, schemes go over his head and bore him.

Sandor dislikes both sorts of personalities for different reasons ... He’s offput by someone who would be very talkative and outgoing with him (like why are they talking to him wtf), and he also hates scheming and lying and all that, he’s seen too much of it. The first type has a better chance of befriending and getting close to him, the second not so much. 

Petyr very much respects and admires both but like ... you know he’d prefer someone that he thinks he can outwit and manipulate, so probably more of the first type of personality because they seem less cunning and more of “just” a people person. Given his obsessive/yandere tendencies he probably wouldn’t notice he was being taken in by someone friendly and kind. 

like okay weird thing to think about but just consider this... I really wonder what it’d be like if Robert had an s/o like the first one you mentioned. Not Cersei, certainly not his beloved Lyanna - a third party, a gracious and likeable queen that kinda makes up for his faults and she’s TRYING hard as hell. like idk if they’d ever fall in love but like idk i feel like his depression would be slightly lessened to have a partner that’s very beloved and tries to help him and put him in a good light in his subject’s minds. Am I making sense? She’s not perfect but she wants what’s best for the realm and if she’s gotta do it herself she will. IDK sorry this is a tangent, i think about major change AUs and their political consequences a lot

Heckin south n east bois

Margaery is a Big Gay and you can’t fight me on this, you will lose. She’s super attracted to the first kind of gal bc that’s def how she is herself! So she’d love to play those little word games with them. The second personality type she’d just write off as “eh quiet person” but once she got closer and began to realize their cunning and wittiness she’d def take an interest, esp if she found out about some good things they did. Then it’d be a classic “outgoing babe dating more reserved babe” and yall both would be VERY well-known in court. absolute power couple

Oberyn likes both equally! Especially if your motives are to help others and/or save your friends and family. He loves that kinda loyalty and he really admires someone who has a way with words and schemes in equal measure. Hell he does both himself. He might lean more toward an outgoing person just because that’s how he is too.

idk where to put Beric but he rlly likes the first kind of people!! He’d probs ask you to get supplies or money on the Brotherhood’s behalf, and he actually kinda likes it when he finds himself doing something you wanted cause you asked so nicely or talked him into it ..... Thoros calls him a simp and it’s true ok don’t bully he can’t help it

& lastly Essosssss

So, I think Daenerys would be a lot more drawn to the second kinda person. First of all: Very mysterious, ooh. Secondly, she’d appreciate a cool head that will tell her the truth and is willing to do more unsavory things bc they believe in her so much. Obvs she would need someone with unquestionable loyalty, and once she tests and is reassured of that loyalty, then she could start some kinda romance. She’s def attracted to someone who can get shit done that way.

Jorah is a big opposite in that he’s kinda had to do that unsavory stuff himself and is still ashamed by it, and generally doesn’t trust people like Littlefinger and Varys and Illyrio, etc so he’d prefer someone who is just genuine and talks their way out of things. Also yall know him he can’t resist once he starts liking someone like cmon

Grey Worm is absolutely in the first camp too but for diff reasons! Scheming and all that shit just makes him nervous and he distrusts it, even if it’s for Daenerys’ sake. He just wouldn’t associate with the person ... Someone more outgoing would definitely fluster him more but at least he could feel like he could trust them. Missandei can go either way - she knows the power in both diplomacy and manipulation, and would likely admire and be pulled to someone who uses both to help people. 

sorry i got so wordy and a bit repetitive lol both are like, my fav kinda character archtypes, esp for court settings.

[thenixkat]

Animorphs notes 25

Book 25

Narrated by Marco

Marco actually has a love life and is a fucking dweeb about it. Neat

“Marian.

Not only is Marian gorgeous, with long, black hair, deep, dark eyes, and

dimples that make me want to cry every time she smiles. She's also

nearly as smart, charming, and charismatic as I am.

You can see we're a perfect couple. The only flaw I can find in her is

that she doesn't seem to think my jokes are very funny.

That, and her taste in music.”

Marco’s dad likes classical music

The school has served tainted meat to the students at least once

Apparently this is a shitty school if things are getting shut down b/c someone had to take it to court over asbestos 

Marco did poorly on the date. Should not pretend to like things that you don’r actually like to get with people

Marco talks about his love life with Cassie

So… the animorphs can scope out someone that Marco’s date probably isn’t a host but do they do that for their families?

Yeah I’m still bullshit on the whole dogs are always good and happy b/c alien pacifist spirits. B/c like dog? Not always happy or friendly.

Jake has charisma like plain oatmeal has flavor.

AU where the free horks assassinate Visser 3 when they’re feeding their host

Visser 3 scracthers their butt in public

So bug ships are good with flying through a planets atmosphere

So… does Visser 3 get parasites often enough that they don’t immediately jump to the andalite bandit conclusion?

The animorphs continue to be the luckiest motherfuckers in existance

Visser 3 has a collection of tourture instruments in their private quarters

The animorphs getting hosts killed b/c they didn’t think their plans through again. Huzzah

“Rising up behind her was a pillar of glass. A cylinder ten feet, twelve feet tall, and half as broad. Inside the cylinder was a vague shape, blood-red and midnight-blue slashes highlighting a glistening silver body.

Yes, body. Because despite the frosted glass and the mist that filled the cylinder, that ten-foot-tall tube contained something biological. There was a row of the cylinders spaced across the cargo bay. Maybe ten in all.”

Venber hybrid design

I’m guess he means -200 F?

Also the animorphs are so lucky that the yeerks don’t belive in video survalence

So can the writer’s just not count? Or does teh editor just not exist? 4 fucking doors opened in that fucking sequence. Ach counted 6 doors in this sequence and i trust that she’s better with numbers than I am

Ah the animorphs getting more people horribly maimed and killed b/c who the fuck knows is in the cansister with the alien that lives in absurdly fridgid temps

The free horks should hate these children and they’d be justified

And Visser 3 continues to be a shit leader

Rachel saving Cassie’s bacon

I mean Cassie, yer a Californian wolf (already kinda odd) but like you don’t think that an animal that lives in a hot place wouldn’t be good in the cold. No mexican wolf is gonna do well if just dumped in the arctic

Rachel keeps Ax warm as he and the others morph to hide in her fur from the cold. 

Jake, you have a Siberian tiger morph, why are you gonna hide in Rachel’s fur? That tiger should be doing just about as well as Rachel’s bear

Oh no I was wrong just Ax and Tobias hide in Rachels fur

Marco goes into shock b/c he stayed a tropical animal instead of at least trying his wolf morph

...Rachel, hitting someone in the head is a good way to give them a concussion or brain damage so not helping 

Again at best yall have Mexican wolves or Timbers adapted for the heat, Rachel’s grizzly is better than that

If you’ve been heading north al this time the arctic is more likely

“There were two of them. About eight feet tall. Humanoid. Torso, head, and limbs in the usual places. Only their heads were shaped kind of like a hammerhead shark's, oblong with big, dark globs on each side that must have been eyes. Each creature had two thick upper arms growing out of broad shoulders. The upper arms split at the elbows to make two forearms.

Big, burly, nasty-looking beasts. Silver, with flashes of blood-red and midnight-blue along their flanks, along their shoulders, and converging in their faces.

They were sliding toward us on long, ski-like feet. They used two of their forearms, one right and one left, to propel themselves forward.

And they glistened in the light like diamonds or crystals.”

More venber hybrids

Who apparently look exactly like regular venber

“The Venber kept coming, making strange, crunching noises. Regular, repeated sounds that seemed to ricochet off the rocks behind us in a weird, distorted echo. ”

Venbers echolocate apparently

Huh, so they’re not that far north then if the sun is setting

There was a polar bear at the zoo they got their morphs from. Too bad they never whent and collected more morphs from there

And teh andalites totally commited some form of genocide against the Five

Just assuming that humans are the creatures with the most complex genetic info avalible to the yeerks. But noooo the series isn’t saturated with ‘Humans are special!’

There’s fucking grass more geneticly complex than fucking humans

Really bitches? Yall do worse than seal shredding to yeerk hosts on a regular basis and Cassie you should be used to fucking predation

Ok i checked and this is after the dinosaur book more or less. Why are they surprised by Cassie being ok with hunting/scavenging? She’s already demonstrated more survival skills than the lot of yall

Cassie you’ve broken that don’t kill a sentient creature unless in absolute self defense many many times. I have not forgotten book 19 when you decided to kill a downed hork-bajir host that didn’t pose a threat to you

I like how all dolphins are lumped together by that statement

… dolphins have no blubber? Marco you just joined Jake’s “bows and arrows are close combat weapons” level of the fuck?

Seals have the instint to run? Sure

Amazing how these orca have blubber and can survive the artic waters

Also isn’t it a bit all that all the natives that the animorphs encounter all imediately assume that these kids are spirits?

I like this new kid but uh not the writers

Derek has a job

Derek is friends with a polar bear named Nanook. This is not getting less suspect

Friends as in watches him from a distance is slightly better

Derek goes back to his own life. 

You know animorphs you could warn him about the whole yeerk thing in case, ya know you guys loose. Spread some info around. 

Also, ya know if his village gets cable they can probably communicate to other people

Also, so, this inuit kid named his bear friend a bastardized version of the word for bear in his presumably native tongue

According to Marco polar bears hunt for fun b/c they are capable of going without eating for awhile. Almost like its difficult to find food in the fucking arctic and requires time and luck. These fuckmothering writers

The venber are strong enough to bend steel in their hands

Poor venbers

So there might be two surviving venber at the lest. If the yeerks can’t track and recapture them. If their programming stopped and they still arent attacking all quadrupeds putting them at odds with the locals who probably own dogs.

The book is finished at least. Did not enjoy that.