#and so. if im Wholly Aro. then what the fuck does that mean

[kekisu]

tfw you try to for real date people but youre actually too aroace for this shit and you realize that no in fact you cant just keep praying you end up feeling something soon

[cornflowercanine]

talking abt questioning classpect (namely class) stuff a whole lot ヽ (^•ω•^)ノ w/o quirk cause im testing that today

so i know 101% for sure that im a heart player i have no doubts about it i fit nearly every description and trait given for them and ive been sure about this for fucking ever lol, aside from the 'teehee heart player romants and shipy :)' cause my me aro and romance repulsed xoxo <3 but thats obvious second off i try not to bring Obviously Not Classpect-y things into classpecty shit like people saying heart players loooove shipping specifically on basis of the leijons when dirk is Not, or that mages are inherently sad sacks of shit that hate everything bc of sollux when meulin is just a normal fucking person. or like, sylphs of heart only identifying as so when they just have trauma/a personality, or knights being "knights" when they are also just traumatized or depressed or whatever. Some classpecters will count trauma and Issues You Have as a part of your classpect journey and shit bc its an interesting way to conceptualize and in some cases grasp your... everything, but 1 it just makes me really fucking sad to go 'haha i do [blatant symptom of abuse] bc im [classpect] :)' and its easier for Me to keep that seperate, and also bc it is just not helpful for me and how i use classpects to go oh yeah literally everything you are and have and do etc is your classpect

but, i relate to mages in that i Know shit and a lot of my motivations both in general and behind specific things is to Know More Shit, and i?? guess???? i have suffered bc of/at the hands of/whatever my aspect????????? but i have no fucking clue what ppl mean when they talk about this, probably because it varies aspect-by-aspect XD but i don't relate to it in that i am not a sad sack of shit (heavily sollux-influenced analysis of mage as a class but a really, REALLY common one, so) and i love my aspect to bits and pieces and shreds and i WANT it to be a huge part of my life, i don't know wtf ppl mean when they say like, acting For your aspect or being its puppet sorta?????? i figure is another aspect-by-aspect thing but its real hard to grasp XD and i Do impact others and things not... like, a lot of witch things go oh you just completely turn this shit upside down and completely break its rules, and what i do is more subtle, ex i prefer to backseat a Little (not completely just a little) when it comes to 'leadership' in groups (but i am unspokenly made the leader a lot fsr?), but no matter where i am or what i do i have some level of influence and impact in the group anyway

but i relate to witches in :3 a lot of their thematic stuff teehee (i know its mostly just sburb and wholly fictional stuff that doesnt matter for irl people but coincidences are fun :3) and in that i do technically break rules wrt my aspect (ex i am invested in attraction and relationships and affection and all that, but only non-romantically, which kinda goes against the heart/love/etc = romance), and control/manipulation/changing/insert other witch-y verb here is kinda my Point for Knowing Shit as previously discussed, a lot of mage things imply mages learn shit and then leave it at that and just stew in it. i dont!!!! im learning shit so i can understand ppl better so i can mess with stuff better. i dont know how to explain that last bit but trust me dude. i also relate to it in that <3 i do everything for me and what I think is good i am not doing shit specifically to help others either induvidually or at large and if it does thats bc it happens to line up with what i thought was the best idea, ex. some jerk is in a group im in and i do things to slowly kick them out and it turns out everybody else wanted them gone too i DONT relate to it in that, [points at above thing about oh witches just completely turn their aspect upside down], and also 'they change aspect' is really, really, really fucking vague

ultimately i think one of my keywords wrt class would be Influence? or at least keyword for external stuff. whether i'm outright calculatedly going okay [knows thing] so if i do this thing it'll nudge this person in the direction i want them to go (which feels witchy), or if i'm just. -starts using neopronouns- -every time i enter a new group at least one person starts using neopronouns when they hadnt questioned/done so before-. -becomes openly aspec- -suddenly all my friends are questioning aspecs-. -ive been thinking about/knowing a specific topic pertaining heart-y shit- -people around me start parroting bits and pieces of it or they start questioning (if it had to do with gender/sexuality) and just start Thinking About It A Lot, Too- -the whole 'people inadvertantly assigning me leader or leader-ish in any group regardless of what i do' thing- etc theres. a lot of examples of this. (and this feels magey) internal shit is a diff story depending on what you do and dont include with classpect shit (life journey stuff? 'they start out this but later grow to be more this' etc, relationships with others, etc) but it's bc of the..... POWER FEELS LIKE A REALLY LAME AND EXAGGERATIVE WORD TO USE BUT IDK WHAT ELSE SO, power over and/or regarding my aspect here that makes me think i am probably absolutely definetely an active class