#and so you have to focus on learning observational skills like if you're not naturally good at it

[loveereid]

50 shades of Hotchner Aaron Hotchner

The billionaire’s Anchor will be out Feb 14th-25 part two

♡ ︎ Summary , “You get the chance to interview the the billionaire who is the unit chief agent Aaron Hotchner who owns the BAU in end up falling for him but that doesn’t happen till part two/three this is your part of the story , part two will be his story . It’ll all fall in to place .

♡︎ Paring fem!reader ! Aaron Hotchner

♡︎ This is IB the trilogy of 50 shades of gray 

—♡︎—♡︎—Headlines —♡︎—♡︎—♡︎— Reader is a college student small age gape .. Studies english literature —Reader is beautiful intelligent not really upper class not lower class either She has little trauma with an Ex . Also she is an intern with Vogue magazine.

Mr Hotchner is a billionaire unit chief agent that owns the BAU headquarters in this scenario he’s has never been Married This is based off the fifty shades but it’s in a different AU . Was talking with @hoe4hotchner About this one . Your name for the best friend in this fic is Ib :) 🫶🏻💕

♡︎ Content hurt/Comfort/slow burn emotional/angst 

♡︎ Content warning trauma with an ex Drinking is mentioned but not consumed anxiety slow burn

♡︎ Word count 5.9k

♡︎ Author notes I’m hoping I’m not forgetting anything this is the first time I’ve ever written anything long like this let’s just say I had way to much fun with this one still learning to write Hotch an the team please be kind

This is inspired by 50 shades , in my own writing this took some time to write about four days maybe longer .

But I had so much fun

Your thoughts are welcome but please be kind …

The longest fic ever omg …

I did proof read this about four times I like how it sounds if I missed anything in the description please let me know but in a kind way please thank you

Omg guys I loved how this turned out I hope you do too eek .. get it Reid all I can say lol …

♡︎Background outline♡︎

You are a 25-year-old college student pursuing a degree in English Literature at a prestigious university in Quantico, Virginia. Known for your striking beauty, intelligence, and keen observational skills, you’ve earned the quiet admiration of your peers and professors alike.

you’ve grown up with a grounded perspective, valuing hard work and independence.

You are deeply driven, throwing yourself into your studies with unwavering focus. Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays are dedicated to class, where you immerse yourself in analyzing the works of literary giants and crafting essays that showcase your sharp mind.

Wednesdays, however, are different. On this one day each week, you step into an entirely new world as an intern at Vogue magazine.

The hustle and glamour of the fashion industry couldn’t be further from your quiet life on campus, yet you’ve found a way to excel there too.

Whether assisting with features or observing the fast-paced brilliance of the editors, your time at Vogue challenges you in unexpected ways, pushing you outside your comfort zone.

Though shy by nature, you possess a subtle confidence that emerges when you're with your best friend, Rebecca—a free-spirited extrovert who often brings out your more adventurous side.

Coming from a comfortable middle-class background, you have never known the extremes of wealth or poverty. Instead, you’ve grown up with a grounded perspective, valuing hard work and independence.

You are deeply driven, throwing yourself into your studies with unwavering focus.

Your world revolves around literature, where you find solace and inspiration in the pages of classic novels and the complexity of human emotion. Yet, beneath your poised exterior, shadows linger. You’ve been grappling with the suffocating presence of your ex—a toxic figure who refuses to let go.

His threats come in the form of ominous text messages, late-night phone calls, and echoes of the emotional manipulation you endured during your time together. Each interaction leaves a mark, the sting of his words reverberating in your mind long after they’ve stopped. Rebecca is the only person who knows the full extent of what you’ve been through.

She is your anchor, the one who reminds you of your worth when the memories threaten to pull you under. Still, you can’t help but feel that your life has become a balancing act between striving for a brighter future and outrunning the shadows of your past.

This is the moment that changes everything: your decision to pursue an interview with Aaron Hotchner.

Now

Balancing everything had been a challenge lately. You were in school on Mondays, Tuesdays, and Thursdays, and on Wednesdays, you interned at Vogue magazine. The internship was exciting, but it only added to your growing nerves—if this interview opportunity ever happened, you wanted to make a good impression.

You had spent the last few days diving into Aaron Hotchner's past interviews—every case, every experience he’d shared online. The man was an enigma, and you couldn’t help but admire his brilliance and the way he carried himself. But now, you were stuck. What if, by some miracle, you got the chance to interview him? You needed questions—good ones.

Sighing, you turned to your best friend, Rebecca, desperate for help.

She glanced at you, rolled her eyes, and grabbed a pen. With a smirk playing on her lips, she scribbled something across the first line of your notebook and slid it back toward you.

“Here’s a question,” she said, feigning nonchalance.

Curious, you leaned forward to read it, and your eyes widened in horror. “Are you gay?”

You nearly choked. “Rebecca!” you hissed, your cheeks flushing instantly. “Seriously? Gay? That’s your idea of help?”

“What?” she replied with exaggerated innocence, twirling the pen between her fingers.

“He’s not married or anything, so it’s a valid question. Besides,” she added with a pointed look, “you need to lighten up a little.”

You glared at her, but she pressed on, her voice softening. “Look, it’s been six months since you and…you know…broke up.

I know he still haunts you with those stupid messages and calls, but you can’t keep living in that shadow.

You need someone who can make you feel again.

It doesn’t have to be Mr. Hotchner, but it should be someone.”

Her words hit a nerve, and you felt your throat tighten. You wanted to argue, to tell her she didn’t understand, but deep down, you knew she wasn’t wrong.

Rebecca’s grin returned as she watched your reaction. “Oh my God, you’re blushing!” she exclaimed, her voice tinged with teasing delight. “You totally have a crush on him, don’t you?”

“Do not!” you shot back, the heat in your cheeks betraying your denial.

“Sure,” she said, laughing. “Your face is practically glowing right now.”

Groaning, you buried your face in your hands, already regretting asking her for help. Rebecca’s laughter echoed around you as if to punctuate your misery.

Taking a deep breath, you peeked at her through your fingers. “For the record,” you mumbled, “I already did something. I sent him an email.”

Rebecca froze mid-laugh, her eyebrows shooting up. “You what?”

“I sent him an email,” you repeated, your voice barely above a whisper.

The weight of your own words hit you, making your chest tighten with a mix of nerves and excitement.

Rebecca’s jaw dropped, but instead of teasing, her eyes sparkled with curiosity.

“Well, look at you,” she said, a slow grin spreading across her face. “Guess you’re braver than I thought.” her voice light but impressed. “Miss Literary Genius stepping up her game.”

“I had to,” you said quietly, your eyes drifting to your notebook. “If I want to stand out—for Vogue, for school—it’s not like I had another option.”

Rebecca tilted her head, studying you. “You know,” she said softly, her teasing tone gone, “this could be a good thing.

You’re capable of more than you give yourself credit for.”

You gave her a weak smile, but inside, the nerves churned. It wasn’t just about the interview—it was about the possibility that Aaron Hotchner, the enigmatic, untouchable billionaire, might actually respond.

And if he did, everything could change.

—♡︎—The Email—♡︎

To: Aaron.Hotchner@fbi.gov

Subject: Request for an Interview for My College Research Paper & an opportunity for my internship at vogue magazine.

Dear Agent Hotchner,

I hope this email finds you well. My name is [Your Name], and I’m currently a college student majoring in English Literature at Liberal Arts University college in Quantico, Virginia. And I’m an inter for vogue magazine and for one of my courses, I’ve been given the opportunity to write a research paper on a topic of my choosing, and I decided to focus on the Behavioral Analysis Unit within the FBI.

Your work as an agent and leader of the BAU is fascinating to me. The way your team delves into the complexities of human behavior and criminal psychology aligns with many themes I’ve been studying in literature—how human motivation and character drive stories and actions.

If you are available, I would be deeply honored to interview you as part of my research. I believe your insights would add incredible depth to my paper and provide a unique perspective that no amount of online research could match. I understand how demanding your role is, and I would be happy to accommodate your schedule to make this as convenient as possible.

I’ve prepared a list of thoughtful questions with the help of my friend Rebecca , and I hope to use this opportunity to learn more about your work and the BAU’s impact on both the field of criminal justice and society as a whole.

Thank you so much for considering my request, Agent Hotchner. I greatly admire your dedication to your work and your contributions to making the world a safer place. I look forward to hearing from you and hope this email reaches you in good spirits.

You can reach me at any time via email at 578-865-2134 Yourname.literature@gmail.com or on my phone at Please don’t hesitate to contact me if you need any additional information.

Sincerely,

[Your Name]

[578-865-2134]-fake

Days passed, and you found yourself obsessively refreshing your email and checking your phone for missed calls. Nothing. By day four, you started convincing yourself it wasn’t going to happen.

Maybe your email had been too direct? Or maybe too casual? The thought made you cringe every time it crossed your mind.

5:45pm

That Wednesday, you had just gotten back from your internship at Vogue.

The exhaustion from juggling classes, work, and this looming interview weighed heavy on you—until your phone rang.

The number was unfamiliar.

You stared at the screen, the phone vibrating in your hand. Was it spam? A wrong number?—“Your Ex?

Summoning a shred of courage, you swiped to answer. “Hello, this is [Your Name].”

“Good evening, this is Aaron Hotchner.”

Your heart stopped.

Actually, stopped.

For a moment, you couldn’t breathe, let alone speak. The deep, confident voice on the other end sent a jolt through your system.

Your brain barely processed the words before your legs carried you out of your room and down the hall.

“Rebecca!” you hissed, practically kicking her door open. She jumped, startled, as you clutched the phone like it was a lifeline.

“It’s him! What do I say? What do I do?”

Rebecca’s eyes went wide as a grin spread across her face. She motioned wildly for you to calm down. “Breathe! Breathe! And answer him before he thinks you hung up!”

You closed your eyes, forcing yourself to inhale deeply. “I’m sorry, Mr. Hotchner,” you finally managed, your voice shaking only slightly.

“I wasn’t expecting your call—it’s such an honor to hear from you.”

“That’s quite alright,” he replied smoothly, a hint of warmth in his tone. “I read your email, and I’d like to discuss your interview proposal further. Are you available to meet in person sometime this week?”— “Let’s say Friday?

Your heart raced as you clutched your phone. "Friday works great, sir," you replied, trying to sound composed despite the excitement bubbling inside you.

"Great," he said calmly. "I’ll send you the details. Is this number okay to use?"

"Yes, sir," you confirmed quickly, barely able to contain your enthusiasm.

"Good. I’ll send you a message once everything is finalized. Thank you for reaching out."

"Thank you so much, sir, for this opportunity," you managed to say before the call ended.

As the line disconnected, you let out a squeal of joy, practically leaping onto your best friend Rebecca’s bed. “Rebecca! It’s actually happening!

I’m going to interview him—Aaron Hotchner!” you exclaimed, clutching a pillow to your chest.

Before you could process the moment, your phone buzzed in your hand. It was him.

The message read:

Hi, this is Agent Hotchner. Just a quick reminder about our interview on Friday at the BAU office at 9:30 a.m. If you have any trouble finding the office, don’t hesitate to reach out, and I’ll help with directions. See you then.

—Special Agent, Unit Chief Hotchner owner of The BAU

You stared at the screen, your hands trembling slightly. "Rebecca," you whispered, holding up the phone, "He texted me."

The excitement bubbling in your chest made it impossible to stay still. Friday couldn’t come soon enough.

Your heart raced as you exchanged details with him, somehow managing to sound semi-professional despite the adrenaline coursing through your veins.

The second the call ended, you collapsed onto Rebecca’s bed, clutching the phone to your chest.

“I’m meeting him,” you whispered, eyes wide.

Rebecca shrieked, grabbing your arm and shaking it.

“I told you! This is huge! You’re meeting Aaron freakin’ Hotchner. Do you know how many people would kill for this opportunity?!”

You nodded numbly, your excitement quickly giving way to nerves. “Oh God… What have I gotten myself into?”

Rebecca’s eyes lit up with mischief, and she clasped her hands together as if she had just come up with the best idea in the world. “I know what we’re going to do.

“Oh no, don’t even think about saying no—we’re celebrating tonight!”

You barely had a chance to respond before she announced her plan with a decisive grin. “We’re going to a club. Get ready. You deserve this.”

Rebecca’s energy was infectious, and before you knew it, you were standing in front of the mirror, adjusting the sleek black skirt she had practically forced you to wear.

The gold-strapped top you chose shimmered against your skin, catching the light in a way that made you feel... confident.

Pairing it with black tights and small black heels, you had to admit the outfit was perfect—just the right mix of bold and elegant.

As you reached for your earrings, you caught Rebecca’s reflection in the mirror.

Rebecca stood behind you, her arms crossed and her head tilted, studying you with a proud smile.

“This is Instagram photo-worthy. Seriously, you’re glowing. Come on, we need a little photoshoot before the Uber gets here!”

Before you could protest, Rebecca had already grabbed her phone and positioned you against the wall.

The next few minutes were filled with laughter as she directed you like a photographer at a magazine shoot. “Okay, now give me a smirk. Perfect! Tilt your head a little… yes! That’s it! Oh my God, these are so good!”

Rebecca even pulled you into a few selfies, making exaggerated pouty faces while holding the camera high. She burst into laughter, flipping through the pictures. “Look at us! We’re gonna break the internet.”

As the Uber pulled up outside, Rebecca grabbed your hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze.

“You look amazing. You’re going to have the best night. Trust me, you deserve this.”

Her words melted some of your lingering nerves, and you found yourself smiling for the first time all evening. Rebecca had always had a way of pushing you out of your comfort zone, reminding you that life was meant to be lived.

“Okay,” you said, letting out a steadying breath as you grabbed your purse. “Let’s do this.”

With Rebecca by your side, you stepped into the night, ready to celebrate in a way you never had before.

As the Uber driver dropped you and Rebecca off a few blocks from your apartment, the thumping bass of the club music filled the air.

The neon lights outside flashed rhythmically, casting vibrant colors onto the sidewalk.

Rebecca practically bounced with excitement as you stepped out of the car.

“Are you ready for this?” she asked, her grin contagious.

You nodded, though your stomach was fluttering with nervous energy. Approaching the bouncer at the door, you handed over your ID. He glanced at it, then stamped both your hands with a glowing ink before motioning you inside.

The moment you stepped into the club, you were hit by a wall of sound—music thumping, people laughing, and the hum of conversation blending into a buzzing, electric atmosphere.

Multicolored lights swirled overhead, casting an ever-changing glow on the packed dance floor.

Rebecca turned to you with a gleam in her eye. “Let’s get a drink first!”

You smiled, letting her lead the way to the bar. As you weaved through the crowd, your gaze wandered around the room.

A group of people near the corner of the bar caught your attention. They were laughing and talking animatedly, the camaraderie between them evident.

You didn’t think much of it until you reached the bar with Rebecca and placed your drink order.

Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed a familiar face in that same group.

“No freaking way,” you gasped, your voice barely above a whisper.

Rebecca turned to you, handing you your drink. “What? What is it?”

You nodded toward the corner, your heart skipping a beat. “Look. Over there.”

Rebecca’s eyes followed your gaze. When they landed on the man you were staring at, her jaw dropped. “No. Freaking. Way.

That’s Mr. Hotchner himself. See? I told you tonight was meant to be fun!”

You buried your face in your hands, groaning. “Oh my God, this cannot be happening.”

“Come on,” Rebecca said with a grin, tugging on your arm. “We’ll deal with that later. Let’s hit the dance floor!

As you were making your way to the dance floor, a tall man accidentally bumped into you.

“Whoa, sorry about that, ladies,” he said, flashing a charming smile.

You smiled politely. “Oh, it’s okay, sir.”

He chuckled, shaking his head. “Sir? Come on, now. I’m Derek Morgan, but you can just call me Derek.”

You introduced yourself, but before you could finish, you heard someone call your name from across the room. You froze, recognizing the voice immediately.

“Oh, great,” you muttered under your breath.

Derek’s brow furrowed as he glanced toward the source of your discomfort. “Everything okay?”

You let out a sigh. “Not really. That’s my ex.

I haven’t seen him in six months, but he won’t stop harassing me with calls and messages. I’ll be fine, though.” You offered a polite smile. “It’s nice to meet you, Sir.”

“Just Derek,” he reminded you with a smile and nod before heading back to his group.

When Derek rejoined his friends, he leaned in and spoke low enough for only them to hear. “Hey, guys, keep an eye on that guy over there.”

JJ glanced toward your ex, then back at Derek.

“Those girls he’s bothering?

“Emily chimed in , They’re beautiful.”

Derek nodded. “Right, but that guy’s trouble. Stay sharp.”

Aaron Hotchner and Spencer Reid , who had been quietly observing, straightened up. “Got it,” they said, There tone calm but firm.

As you tried to make your way to the dance floor, your ex suddenly appeared in front of you, stepping into your path with a forceful presence.

Without warning, he grabbed your arm.

“Come on, dance with me,” Nate said, his voice laced with a sense of entitlement.

You pulled away sharply, your heart racing. “No, Nate. No.”

Rebecca, sensing the tension, stepped forward. “Leave her alone, Nate.”

He sneered at Rebecca, getting right in her face. “What are you going to do about it?” he challenged.

You stepped in between them, trying to keep the peace. “Stop, Nate.”

“You think you can do better than me?” he spat, yanking your arm toward him with force.

You winced as you tried to pull away again, your voice trembling. “Nate, please…”

Rebecca didn’t hesitate. She stepped right in front of you, blocking Nate from getting any closer. “I said, leave her alone.”

At that moment, you noticed two figures coming up behind Nate—two men in suits.

You didn’t recognize them at first, but the intensity of their approach made you feel a flicker of relief.

Hotch and Reid exchanged a glance, both knowing what needed to be done.

“Let’s move,” Hotch said, his voice calm but firm.

Reid nodded. “Right.”

They reached Nate, moving with purpose, and Reid spoke up first, though his voice wavered slightly. “Sir, I’m Dr. Spencer Reid.”

Nate just laughed, clearly dismissive. “Okay, Dr. Please, leave us alone.”

But Hotch didn’t wait. He stepped forward, his gaze locked on Nate, commanding the situation.

“Take your hand off her.” His tone was unwavering, and it made your heart race in a different way—one of safety.

Nate scoffed, sizing Hotch up. “And who are you? Some guy in a suit?”

Hotch didn’t flinch.

“No, I’m with the FBI.” He flashed his badge, and Reid did the same, pulling his badge from his jacket pocket with practiced precision.

Nate’s demeanor faltered. He let go of your arm, his eyes wide with realization. “Whoa, okay. I didn’t want to start any trouble.”

Spencer added, his voice firm but measured. “Leave these ladies alone.”

Nate stepped back, defeated but unwilling to admit his wrongdoing.

As he walked away, Hotch’s eyes never left you, his gaze steady and protective.

Reid glanced over at you with concern. “Are you guys okay?”

You nodded, feeling both shaken and somehow grounded by their intervention.

Spencer, after sharing a brief look with Rebecca, turned to her with a smile. “Would you like to dance?”

Rebecca grinned and nodded eagerly. “I’d love to.”

With that, they made their way to the center of the dance floor, where the soft rhythm of the slow song started to fill the space.

As they began to move together, you found yourself standing next to Hotch, the noise of the crowd fading around you. The moment felt suspended in time.

The song continued to play, and with it, a quiet anticipation seemed to linger between you and Hotch.

The distance between you both felt palpable. As you stood there, your nerves betrayed you.

After a long, almost unspoken pause, Hotch finally broke the silence. “Would you like to dance?” His voice was calm, steady, like everything around you was perfectly still.

You swallowed, trying to steady your breath. Your response came out as a soft, almost hesitant nod. “Yes.”

Without missing a beat, Hotch stepped closer and pulled you gently into his arms. The warmth of his touch was immediate, a powerful presence that settled in the pit of your stomach. There was something so unexpectedly comforting about his strength and the quiet connection between you both.

Neither of you said a word as you moved together, the music guiding you. You could feel the steady beat of his heart beneath your ear as you laid your head against his chest. The world seemed to shrink down to just the two of you. The way he held you, his hand at the small of your back, was both reassuring and electrifying.

In the distance, you could see Rebecca and Spencer, the two of them enjoying their own rhythm on the dance floor. Their laughter mixed with the music, but you couldn’t help but notice the way Rebecca kept glancing over at you and Hotch, a knowing smile playing on her lips.

You stole a quick glance at her, your gaze sharp, silently telling her to stop teasing you. But she didn’t even flinch, her smile only widening as she caught your eye.

Your focus returned to Hotch as you both continued to move together, the slow dance grounding you in a way you hadn’t expected.

As the music filled the space, Hotch finally broke the quiet. His voice was soft but steady, as if he were reading the air around you. “I bet you weren’t expecting this tonight.”

You glanced up at him, your breath catching slightly. The warmth of his gaze sent a ripple of heat through you. “No,” you admitted with a quiet laugh, “not really. I wasn’t expecting you to be here.”

Hotch let out a low chuckle, the sound somehow calming yet undeniably magnetic. “I meant me saving you from disaster, of course.”

The words hung in the air for a moment, and you couldn’t help but smile a little, even as the conversation turned more serious. Before you could speak, your mind drifted back to Friday—your interview with him. The nerves you had then felt so distant now.

You hesitated, unsure of how to word the question that had been on your mind. "When did you realize it was me?"

Hotch’s gaze never wavered from you as he answered. “When Derek pointed you both out to me.”

The admission caught you off guard, but you masked your surprise quickly. “You did a background check on me?” you asked, your voice laced with both curiosity and a hint of disbelief.

He nodded, but there was no malice in his expression. “I mean, I had my tech, Garcia, do it. Your photo was attached to your file.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle, shaking your head at the unexpectedness of it all. “Oh,” you said, a little breathless. “I see. It’s... very impressive.”

Hotch smirked slightly, his eyes glinting with amusement. “Well, I like to know who I’m dealing with.” His tone softened, and his hand instinctively adjusted the way he held you, his touch warm and grounding.

You tried not to let the thought linger for too long, but the subtle tension in the air between you two was undeniable. Every shift of his hand, every look shared between you both, seemed to make the room shrink.

As the slow dance continued, you found yourself drawn further into his presence. You weren’t sure whether it was the proximity or the steady rhythm of his heartbeat against your ear, but everything felt different now. The connection between you wasn’t just physical—it was something more, something deeper.

From the corner of your eye, you could see Rebecca still dancing with Spencer, her gaze flicking between you and Hotch, her knowing smile more evident than ever. You couldn’t suppress the small glare you sent her way. But even that felt secondary to the unspoken pull between you and Hotch.

The night was unfolding in ways you never expected, but somehow, it felt like everything was falling into place, one slow dance at a time.

As the night came to a close, you and Rebecca had the chance to meet the rest of the team. Garcia was just as vibrant and lively as you’d imagined, her bright smile infectious. JJ’s warm energy was comforting, and Emily had an air of quiet confidence. Rossi, ever the seasoned professional, gave you a kind nod. Derek was smiling, still a bit playful, as you turned to him, grateful for everything he’d done tonight.

You offered Derek a hug, your voice soft but sincere. “Thank you for looking out for me... and for Rebecca.”

He smiled warmly, pulling you into a brief but genuine embrace. “Anytime. Stay safe, alright?”

Rebecca, meanwhile, was chatting away with Reid, exchanging numbers with him as they laughed. You couldn’t help but glance at Hotch.

Every time you looked, his gaze was already on you, steady and unwavering, like he was silently taking you in from across the room.

Rebecca, clearly sensing your distraction, turned to you with a mischievous grin. “You okay over there?”

You offered her a quick smile, trying to shake off the feeling that had settled in your chest. “Yeah, just... taking it all in.”

Hotch’s voice cut through the moment. “Would you both like a ride home?” His tone was calm, yet there was something in it—something that made you feel both comforted and a little on edge.

Rebecca immediately agreed, her smile widening. “Yes, please. I’m not about to try finding a cab tonight.”

You nodded, not sure what to say. But you knew you couldn’t say no.

Reid, ever the gentleman, insisted on riding with you all, clearly wanting more time with Rebecca. You could see the small smile on his face.

As you all stepped outside into the chilly night air, the cold hit your skin, but it didn’t seem to matter.

Hotch moved toward you, opening the door of the black SUV. You felt a flicker of warmth at the gesture, even though the night was crisp.

Reid did the same for Rebecca, and for the first time all night, she was quiet.

You glanced over at her, wondering if she was feeling the same undercurrent of tension that you were.

Without a word, she reached for your hand, her touch grounding.

You didn’t have to say anything—it felt like there was an understanding between you two, unspoken but clear.

Once everyone was settled inside, you spoke up, your voice breaking the silence.

“We’re just a few blocks from here. Just take a couple left turns, and I’ll tell you when to stop.”

Hotch gave a short nod, his gaze meeting yours for a brief moment. “Got it,” he replied, his voice steady.

The engine hummed to life as the SUV pulled away from the curb, the soft sound of the tires on the road blending with the quiet stillness of the night. But the tension, the pull between you and Hotch, was still there—lingering

As you arrived at your and Rebecca’s apartment, Reid turned to you with a kind smile. “It was nice to meet you,” he said sincerely.

“You as well,” you replied softly, your voice tinged with shyness.

Reid stepped out of the SUV and circled around to open the door on Rebecca’s side. As she got out, she turned to you, placing a reassuring hand on your shoulder. “Be good to her, Hotchner,” she said firmly, her voice filled with protective warmth.

Hotch met her gaze in the rearview mirror and gave a small nod, a silent acknowledgment of her words. Then, his attention shifted to you, his dark eyes calm yet piercing.

You tried to focus, but your thoughts were spinning. One question had been circling in your mind ever since Rebecca had scribbled it in your notebook. It felt too big to ignore.

You looked up at Hotch, hesitating for a moment. “Can I ask you an off-the-record question?” you finally managed, your voice tentative as you wrestled with your nerves.

“Of course,” he replied gently, his tone inviting trust.

Before you could stop yourself, the words tumbled out: “Are you… gay?”

Hotch’s brows knitted together in confusion as he processed your question.

Your eyes widened in panic. “I’m sorry—I don’t know what came over me,” you blurted, flustered and immediately regretting your boldness.

Before he could respond, the sound of his phone vibrating cut through the moment. He pulled it out, his expression sharpening as he read the message.

“It’s Reid,” Hotch said, his tone calm but clipped. “He says your ex is waiting for you on the steps.”

Your stomach dropped, a cold wave of fear washing over you. “What?”

Hotch hesitated, reading the message again. What he didn’t say aloud was the rest: He’s got Rebecca. He’s holding her arm.

“Hey,” Hotch said firmly, drawing your attention back to him. “It’ll be okay. We’ve got this, all right?”

You nodded shakily, though your hands trembled. Together, you stepped out of the SUV and made your way toward the apartment.

Your heart dropped when you saw Nate—his hand gripping Rebecca’s arm as Reid tried to intervene.

“Get your hands off her!” you shouted, rushing forward despite the fear gripping you.

Nate turned, his face twisted with anger. “Oh, so you’re with the suit guy now?” he spat, his voice venomous.

“Nate, let her go,” you demanded, your voice stronger this time. “Let her go now.”

Hotch stepped in beside you, his presence commanding. “You need to leave. Now,” he said, his voice low and firm, brooking no argument. “Unless you’d prefer I call my team and have you in handcuffs for harassment. Got it?”

Nate hesitated, glaring at you and then at Hotch. But something in Hotch’s tone—or maybe the promise of a full FBI team arriving—made him think better of it. With a muttered curse, he let go of Rebecca and stormed off.

Hotch stepped closer to you, his arm brushing against yours protectively as he watched Nate leave. “It’s okay,” he said softly, his steady presence grounding you.

You turned back to Rebecca, rushing to her side as tears welled in your eyes. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine,” Rebecca said, her voice breaking as she pulled you into a hug. The two of you clung to each other, the weight of the moment spilling out in shared tears.

“I thought I had him,” Reid said apologetically, looking at Hotch with guilt in his eyes.

“It’s fine,” Hotch reassured him, his tone firm but understanding. “You did everything you could.”

The four of you stood there for a moment, the tension easing as you realized it was finally over—for now. But as Hotch’s hand rested lightly on your back, you couldn’t help but feel safe, like everything might really be okay.

Hotch turned to you as the tension began to fade, his presence still steady and reassuring. “Good night,” he said gently, his dark eyes meeting yours. “If you need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

You nodded, feeling a warmth in his words that helped ease some of the lingering panic.

“Thank you,” you said softly.

Reid stepped forward, offering Rebecca a comforting hug before giving you both a small smile. “Good night,” he added warmly.

“Good night,” you and Rebecca said in unison, your voices subdued but sincere.

You and Rebecca headed toward the apartment as Hotch and Reid got back into the SUV. The low hum of the engine reached your ears as the vehicle pulled away, disappearing into the night.

Once inside, you both stopped for a moment to catch your breath, the events of the night weighing heavily on you.

“Man, what a night,” Rebecca muttered, breaking the silence.

“Not exactly the kind I was hoping for,” you replied with a soft laugh that didn’t quite reach your eyes.

“I’m so sorry,” Rebecca said, her voice trembling.

You turned to her, shaking your head firmly. “This isn’t your fault, Rebecca. Do you hear me? None of this is your fault. You didn’t know Nate would show up at the club, and you definitely didn’t know he’d be waiting for us here.”

Rebecca let out a shaky breath, her eyes glistening. “I guess none of us expected to meet the FBI tonight either.”

At that, you couldn’t help but giggle, the tension breaking just a little. “Yeah, not exactly a normal Wednesday night.”

Rebecca gasped, her hand flying to her chest in mock offense. “Oh my God, you’re laughing! Who are you, and what have you done with my stressed-out best friend?”

You grinned. “What can I say? I’m full of surprises.” You paused, the weight of the evening still heavy but beginning to lift. “I need a hot shower,” you added, stretching your arms.

Rebecca perked up. “Pizza?”

“Absolutely,” you said with a nod.

“I’ll order it,” she offered, already pulling out her phone

“Great. Extra cheese, please,” you called over your shoulder as you made your way to the bathroom.

The sound of water cascading from the showerhead was a soothing balm, washing away the tension of the evening. You leaned your forehead against the cool tile, letting the steam wrap around you like a comforting embrace. For the first time in hours, you allowed yourself to breathe deeply.

When you stepped out of the shower, the faint aroma of freshly delivered pizza filled the apartment. You grabbed your phone from the counter, smiling at the text message that had come in while you were in the shower.

Hotch: Stay safe. We’re here if you need us. And to answer your off-the-record question… No, I’m not gay. It was nice meeting you tonight. See you Friday for your interview. Also… Reid is absolutely crazy for your friend.

You couldn’t help the smile that spread across your face as you read the message. A warmth bloomed in your chest, the earlier embarrassment of your question melting into something lighter—something you couldn’t quite name yet.

“Pizza’s here!” Rebecca called from the kitchen.

“Perfect timing,” you replied, setting your phone down as you padded into the living room, the smell of pizza making your stomach rumble.

Rebecca handed you a plate, raising her eyebrows when she saw the faint blush on your cheeks. “What’s got you smiling like that?”

“Nothing,” you said quickly, taking a big bite of pizza to avoid further questioning.

But as Rebecca turned back to the TV, you glanced at your phone again, the message still glowing on the screen. You couldn’t stop the small smile from returning.

Maybe tonight wasn’t all bad after all.

The next couple of days flew by in a blur of school assignments, internship tasks, and the lingering emotions from that unforgettable night.

Before you knew it, it was Friday—the day of your interview with Hotch.

You were both nervous and excited, knowing the interview wasn’t just for your school paper but also for Vogue, the magazine where you were interning.

Rebecca had insisted on driving you to the BAU office, claiming it was the least she could do after everything that had happened.

“Why are you so calm?” you asked, staring at her in disbelief as she hummed along to the radio.

“I’m not the one interviewing an FBI Unit Chief,” she replied with a grin. “That’s all you.”

You sighed, glancing down at your nearly blank notebook. Despite your best efforts over the past couple of days, your mind had been an absolute mess.

You’d written a few questions, but none of them felt right.

“I can’t think,” you muttered, running a hand through your hair. “Help me.”

Rebecca gave you a sympathetic look as she pulled up to a stoplight. “Okay, how about this: start with the basics. Ask him what made him want to join the FBI.

Then maybe something about the most rewarding part of his job.”

You nodded, jotting her suggestions down. “That’s good. What else?”

“Hmm… maybe ask him about the hardest case he’s ever worked on or what it’s like to manage a team under so much pressure.”

You scribbled furiously, feeling a small spark of inspiration.

“Also,” Rebecca added with a mischievous grin, “you should totally ask him how he manages to look so intimidating all the time.”

You let out a laugh, shaking your head. “Yeah, because that wouldn’t be awkward at all.”

Rebecca shrugged, her grin widening. “Hey, it’s a valid question.”

By the time you arrived at the BAU, you had a decent list of questions, though your nerves were still in overdrive. Rebecca parked and turned to you, her expression softening.

“You’re going to be great,” she said firmly.

You took a deep breath and nodded. “Thanks, Beck.”

When you walked into the BAU office, you couldn’t help but be awed by the energy of the space. Agents moved with purpose, phones rang in the background, and the atmosphere hummed with quiet intensity.

A receptionist greeted you and directed you to a conference room where Hotch was waiting.

As you entered, you spotted him standing by the table, reviewing some papers. He looked up as you approached, his calm and collected demeanor instantly grounding you.

“Good afternoon,” he said with a small, welcoming smile. “You must be here for the interview.”

“Yes,” you replied, extending your hand. “Thank you for taking the time to meet with me, Agent Hotchner.”

“Call me Hotch,” he said, shaking your hand firmly.

You settled into a chair, opening your notebook as you tried to steady your nerves.

“Are you ready?” he asked, his tone professional yet kind.

You nodded, taking a deep breath before diving into your first question.

“What made you want to join the FBI?” you began, your voice steadier than you’d expected.

Hotch leaned back slightly, considering your question. “Originally, I worked as a prosecutor.

But I realized I wanted to be more involved in preventing crime rather than addressing it after the fact. The FBI offered me the chance to make a difference in a more hands-on way.”

You scribbled down his response, already feeling more at ease. “What’s the most rewarding part of your job?”

He paused, a thoughtful expression crossing his face. “Knowing that we’re able to bring closure to victims and their families. It’s not always easy, but when we solve a case, it reminds us why we do what we do.”

“What’s the hardest case you’ve ever worked on?” you asked next, your voice quieter as you sensed the weight of the question.

Hotch’s jaw tightened slightly, and you could see a flicker of something—pain, maybe—flash in his eyes. “Every case involving children is difficult,” he admitted. “Those are the ones that stick with you the most.”

You nodded solemnly, feeling a pang of empathy. “How do you manage the pressure of leading a team in such high-stakes situations?”

Hotch folded his hands on the table, his tone steady. “I trust my team. They’re some of the most capable people I’ve ever worked with. We rely on each other, and that makes all the difference.”

As the interview continued, you couldn’t help but notice how thoughtful and measured Hotch was with each response. Despite his stoic exterior, there was a quiet strength and kindness to him that made you feel completely at ease.

By the time you wrapped up, you had pages of notes and a new level of admiration for him.

“Thank you again for taking the time to do this,” you said as you gathered your things.

“It was my pleasure,” Hotch replied, standing as you prepared to leave. “And remember, if you ever need anything, don’t hesitate to call.”

As you walked out of the BAU, you couldn’t help but smile. When you glanced at your phone, a new message popped up from Hotch:

Hotch: Stay safe. We’re here if needed. Also, it was nice meeting you again. And Reid wasn’t kidding—he’s definitely interested in your friend.

You laughed softly, tucking your phone back into your bag. As the BAU disappeared behind you, you felt a sense of pride—and maybe something more—that you couldn’t quite put into words yet.

Thank you for taking time to read this I appreciate it

Much love Kris 🫶🏻💌 part two coming soon ..

Tag list

@hoe4hotchner besties name is in it so had to tag her 🫶🏻💕 thank you for , just for being you . You are an inspiration to me so wanted to add you in this fic .. thank you for being so kind to me .

@lover-of-books-and-tea

@angellsell

@catssluvr

@hotchs-big-hands

@hoe4hotchnerlibrary 🫶🏻💕

[noblemalone]

I think im a pretty good artist i think I'm hot shit right so i feel like

Idk seeing artists online especially in the fanart and character illustration/OC department, seeing those newer artists who are maybe just getting in to digital art or drawing in general i feel like...

One like slooow down brother there's no need to be making stickers or doing commissions or having a patreon just yet, let's walk before we run ok? Of course you can do, people can do whatever they want with their free time but you have to understand a lot more about art, marketing online, self promotion, and social media trends to get the kind of traction you're expecting. I feel like theres this pressure for newer artists to legitimize themselves thru like, monetary means ("if ppl subscribe to my patreon, it means I'm good at art") and social media capital ("likes are nice, but they dont do much; please reblog!")

And like yeah everyone wants that but... If you're drawing solely for those reasons and are disheartened by lack of interaction or traction in the markets, what are you even doing? I been doing this a long time, 20+ years at this point. Not commissions or anything, just drawing. I been drawing a long time and I always do it for the love of the game. I do it because it keeps my mind and hands busy, it brings me joy, and i like to create. I enjoy translating the real world into lines, in stylizing, in pushing. I just like it and yk what, thats how I've had this longevity and thats how I've gotten to where i am. I have sketchbooks full of work no one has ever seen, not just studies but all kinds of work.

If your drive to to do the thing, or to improve at a craft or whatever is external, you can't keep it up. Thats nothing to say about learning to enjoy observation and the importance, even in stylized work, of learning how to look at something and how to just observe and notice the things we see. Idk so much of my growth and skill has come from an internal drive to improve for myself, because getting better is a challenge i want to overcome, and doing the less-exciting stuff like drawing a fuckin building. I've been to probably idk dozens of life drawing sessions because i wanted to grasp anatomy better. In university, i took courses where we looked at bones and skeletons so that i would by proxy have a better anatomical grasp. I learned to map my knowledge and the things I learned about applying making or working out back to drawing. Idk man i dont know how to tell you how to love something

And thats all not the point anyway cuz the point is

Two, i think some new artists don't really... They're not interested in finding a personal style? Or if they are they're not sure how to get there? They see the work that does numbers on insta and twitter and stuff and they wanna draw like that, so they do what those artists do. Admirable! But also they do it without understanding the underlying principals. This artists blocks their characters out like this, so i shall too. That artist uses lineless painterly style with heavy realistic rendering, so shall I. And idk everyone enjoys that style the idk Popular Style of anime realism or whatever its fine to look at but dont y'all ever want more??

And like idk do you enjoy the process or are you doing it that way cuz thats how your fave does it?

And idk like.... Two works can be of equal technical skill level, but the one that plays with style and understands underlying principals of lighting and colour and shape and line, the one that is bold with their vision, is always gonna be better than the one that's trying to be popular and do numbers yk?

Like if thats the style that speaks to you, go for it, but fuckin Go for it yk? Dont try and be like everybody else or the big time players cuz if you're trying to master someone else's style, you're not gonna be able to master the things that make art fun and interesting and challenging and engaging yk

And also a lot of art is about vibes and if you're not channeling the vibes its gonna look bad you gotta focus on the vibes not on being like your fave!!

And if i see one more person say "i spent so long rendering this 🥲" when its fucking cel shaded I'm gonna lose my frickin MIND I SWEAR BROTHER I'M NOT MAD I LOVE CEL SHADING BUT CHRIST ON THE CROSS USE THE RIGHT WORDS FOR THE THINGS YOU MEAN

[lilisettean]

Between Silken Sheets | Headcanons

About: How are they like when they are underneath the bed sheets with you? Random assortment of steamy headcanons.

Pairings: Xavier/Reader, Zayne/Reader, Rafayel/Reader + Bonus! Caleb/Reader

Warnings: First times, Inappropriate use of Evol (Xavier, Zayne, Caleb), No protection (Caleb), please tell me if I'm missing anything! 18+ Only please. Enjoy :)

Xavier

Timid at first, his fingers tracing your form as though convincing himself that this, that you are right before him naked, was a dream.

He isn't very experienced, if at all. But he is eager to learn all you're willing to teach him, and is a fast learner. He memorizes all your sweet spots instantly, and is quite the explorer, wanting to find more of them.

Skilled hands with thick long fingers, deft at prodding your soft spot. Combined with his observant nature, he immediately would pick up on the slight change of your pitch as you moan, mentally filing that spot he just hit into places that would drive you crazy.

His usual aloof expression is nowhere to be found, replaced with the intense focus that he reserves for missions. But instead of Wanderers being his prey, you are.

Being a hunter that is always on the move, he is always in tip top shape. His stamina is nothing to scoff about, being able to go round after round late into the night as long as you are willing.

With experience, he grows bolder and would initiate more often. His hands wandering wherever he could reach when you cuddle with him on the sofa.

He would also be more teasing, turning you into a whimpering mess before pulling away to admire his handiwork.

While not said... Imagine if his light Evol felt like it's vibrating with energy. Him creating a tiny ball of light Evol and having it stuck onto your clit before pulling away, stroking his stiff cock while watching you squirm and plead underneath him.

"You're not the only one who knows how to tease, you know." "This is payback for earlier. If you want me to continue.... Beg me."

Zayne

He had seen and touched your naked form more times than you can count. He is your primary healthcare physician after all. He had kept all those times professional as expected. So when you are in front of him, naked under an entirely different context... He froze.

It wasn't from fear, but rather from enthrallment. It was only then he realized how attracted he is to you, his eyes unable to focus on anything else but you.

Being a doctor at one of the busiest, if not the busiest, hospitals, he never had time for intimacy, much less relationships. No one had caught his eye anyway, until you came back into his life. So while inexperienced, he isn't ignorant. He knows where to touch you to make you crumble and into an incoherent mess.

He handles you like you were spun from glass at first, but with time, his touch grows rougher, leaving indents and marks on your skin as he fucks you, his pace relentless.

His cold facade is gone whenever you two are alone together. And with you underneath him, praises and filthy promises easily spill out of his mouth. Praising you for being so good to him, for taking his cock so well.

He is very cautious about his ice Evol, but imagine. His ice cold fingers thumbing over your nipples while you're blindfolded, and the next second he envelops your pert nipple in his mouth, his tongue swirling around it. It takes some time for you to convince him to use his powers this way, but once he starts, oh is he addicted.

"Nnh- You're feel so good around me..." "Relax. Tell me if it's too cold, okay? ...Good girl."

Rafayel

Being a painter, Rafayel had have many models pose naked for him before. He should have more control when it comes to you being naked for him, right? Wrong.

You offered to pose for him naked but he always denies, because he knows he wouldn't be able to focus at all. He would end up studying your body more, on what he would like to do to you, instead of what themes he want to bring out of this piece.

It's one thing to study you from afar, but it's another to have you on his lap. His face is red as it could be, his eyes on anywhere, anything, but on you. You would have to take the lead at first, his breath hitching and his heart jumping out of his throat the moment you grabbed his hands and placed them on your body.

Rafayel was not new to sex, he had plenty of offers before. But he refused them all. As curious as he was to whether sex will inspire him to create art, the act was too intimate for him to indulge. But you are different.

Your touches lit a fire under his skin, his inspiration rearing to go with every kiss. And suddenly he understood why many artists cite their lover as their muse.

As he got more comfortable with touching you, his desire to pin you to the wall like a painting grows. To immortalize your every expression and arch of your back into art.

He would treat your body as a canvas, leaving kisses and bite marks all over your skin as he buries himself deep within you, and admire his work afterwards.

Sometimes he likes it when he is in control, but other times, when things get too stressful, he prefers when you take charge. Just like you sometimes begging him to stop staring and just fuck you already, he would also sometimes plead to you to let him fuck you as he thrusted against your heat.

"Please- Mmh- Please let me fuck you-" "I want you now... Please have mercy on me..."

Caleb

Caleb had forgotten when he had started to see you as someone more than a friend. He was pretty sure it had been during high school, and when you had no outward sign of liking him back, he resigned himself to a fate of unrequited love.

His expectations were subverted however, and he thanked whatever God was out there for hearing his prayers.

His touch was gentle, reverent. As though still in disbelief that you returned his feelings and would let him touch you in ways that would drive both of you mad with want.

He would leave kisses all over your body, worshiping you and praising you all the way as he made his way down to your heat. Your moans were music to his ears, and he couldn't help but undo his belt buckle and stroke himself as his tongue lapped up all the juices flowing out of you.

He had dreamt about you more times than he could count, his cock always stiff and yearning for you the next morning. So when this fantasy of his finally came true and you were underneath him, squirming and clenching around him, he lost it.

It was embarrassing that he came inside you so quickly, but can you blame him? He had wanted you for so, so long. And now that he finally has you, he just can't help it.

You don't have to worry though. Despite having came moments prior, his cock was still hard and twitching, ready to pick up where he had left off.

You never really knew what his Evol was exactly, all you knew was that he could levitate things. He had used this against you many times, but now... Well. Sometimes he would use it to lift your skirt up. And sometimes... He would lift you up into the air and hold you there, rendering you unable to move and fight back against his teasing fingers.

"Looks like you can't move now, yeah?" "You know I won't let you down... Not until you come on my fingers first."

[astrogossipp]

mercury notes. 💅🏻

Disclaimer. these observations do not have to resonate with everyone and everything, all expressed in this post is based on personal experience and research.

masterlist🍡

mercury signs and their characteristics 🍭

🫧 aries mercury

You're blunt and direct because you deeply care about your loved ones and want what's best for them, even if it initially hurts. You're a reliable friend who values mental stimulation over constant chatter. You're quick-witted and passionate, often diving into new interests headfirst, even if you haven't mastered them yet. Challenges excite you, and you prefer things that make you think hard. You can get obsessed until you figure something out, and once you do, you stick with it. However, you might get competitive or jealous when others are better at something you're passionate about. Plus, all that thinking can give you headaches. But ultimately, your bluntness stems from a place of caring, and your loyalty and agility of mind make you a valuable friend.

🫧 taurus mercury

Your laidback nature stems from your focus on what truly matters to you. You're guarded because you've learned to prioritize your goals and rely only on yourself, leading to a preference for a small, trustworthy circle. While emotional, your rationality guides you to offer practical advice sought by many. When you love, you do so intensely, either fully invested or not at all, which can leave you drained in communication and occasionally introverted, causing concern among others. You're honest and direct, with an appreciation for the beauty of words, possibly drawn to poetry. In youth, you might have easily developed crushes and possess a melodious voice, possibly skilled in singing. With Taurus Mercury, your communication style is stable and methodical, marked by a reserved demeanor and a tendency to carefully analyze your thoughts and opinions. While you may appear stubborn, others view you as thoughtful and reliable due to your grounded approach to communication.

🫧 gemini mercury

With your mind always buzzing, you might need to work on organizing to avoid getting overwhelmed easily. You're a sponge for information, possibly even having some psychic intuition. Your ability to grasp concepts quickly lets you talk your way through things effortlessly, even if you haven't fully digested them. People trust whatever you say, even if it's random, thanks to your charm. Your hunger for knowledge keeps you everywhere, possibly juggling multiple social media accounts or interests, making you intriguing yet hard to pin down. From a young age, you displayed advanced intellect, impressing others with your wisdom beyond years. However, your thirst for new knowledge can lead to forgetting old ones, making exams a struggle unless you study hard. Despite this, you're generous and respectful, always open to communication, which earns you many acquaintances but perhaps few deep emotional bonds, leaving you somewhat detached. You're expressive, likely talking with your hands and body to drive your point home. With a Gemini Mercury, you're curious and talkative, overflowing with ideas and a penchant for witty, sarcastic communication. You enjoy delving into topics deeply and playfully, often expressing yourself through clever wordplay and puns.

🫧 cancer mercury

Cancer Mercuries are often misunderstood due to the crybaby stereotype, but they're much more than that. They have a knack for sensing emotions, especially in their loved ones, and their words carry a depth that reflects their own experiences and wounds. They have a remarkable memory for emotional moments, often recalling cringey or painful events vividly while forgetting trivial details easily. These folks lean towards introversion and need plenty of alone time to recharge, thriving best among their loved ones. Clear communication is crucial with them as they can sense insincerity. Despite their emotional nature, they keep their feelings guarded and may use self-deprecating humor to deflect. Once they trust you, though, they're fiercely loyal and offer comfort and support with their words. With a Cancer Mercury, communication is deeply compassionate and intuitive, rooted in empathy and a desire to nurture and support others. They express themselves poetically and creatively, understanding others' pain and offering unwavering support.

🫧 leo mercury

Individuals with Leo Mercury express their love and affection through communication, showing warmth and making others feel like instant best friends. They can get obsessive about their interests and crushes, giving them intense focus. In learning environments, they need joy and fun to stay engaged. They value actions over words, so if you claim to love them, you better show it. Their charming communication style attracts attention, but they must be mindful of what they say as people tend to magnify their words. They're prone to checking up on loved ones frequently, regardless of how much time has passed, as attention is their love language. However, a downside is their reluctance to consider others' viewpoints, often believing they're always right. With Leo Mercury, communication is energetic, confident, and direct, with a charismatic and engaging flair. They enjoy being the center of attention and aren't afraid to assert themselves, making them natural leaders in communication.

🫧 virgo mercury

Virgo Mercuries are like the champions of communication, always making sure their words are well put together and hard to argue against, reminiscent of those kids who constantly won spelling bees. They're high achievers from a young age, constantly seeking logic and truth in everything, which can lead them to get lost in details and feel overwhelmed. Even in chaos, they handle things maturely with logic, earning them the reputation of wise advisors. However, their attention to detail can lead to overthinking, as they scrutinize even the smallest actions and texts, making it hard to deceive them. Suspicious by nature, they'll do thorough research, even stalking if needed, to uncover the truth. They should trust themselves more and boost their self-confidence to overcome intrusive thoughts. With a Virgo Mercury, communication is analytical and critical, driven by a desire for perfection and precision. They analyze everything before speaking, taking a methodical and logical approach that can sometimes lead to overthinking. Patience and self-discipline are key for them to manage their overactive minds effectively.

🫧 libra mercury

Libra Mercuries thrive on peace and harmony in their daily lives, feeling unsettled when things are out of order. While they're adept at seeing both sides of a story, they can get lost in trying to maintain balance. However, they've learned it's okay to embrace chaos occasionally, especially since they easily get bored. Despite their indecisive nature, they possess objective intelligence, making them skilled at solving problems from different perspectives, which suits careers in law or similar fields. Yet, their desire for justice can lead to complicated situations due to their reluctance to choose sides. This indecision may strain friendships, although they can also be seen as loyal and reliable if positively manifested. They have a thirst for knowledge and are drawn to what stimulates their minds, enjoying romance books or shows and even finding amusement in chaotic situations, despite not being naturally chaotic themselves. A positively manifested Libra Mercury is a great friend to have, always supportive and having your back. In communication, they're charming and balanced, adept at friendly and diplomatic interactions. They enjoy engaging with others, keeping conversations light and positive, and prefer to avoid confrontation or conflict, prioritizing harmony and balance in their relationships.

🫧 scorpio mercury

Scorpio Mercuries are enigmatic and hard to decipher. They're private and move in silence, carefully displaying only what they want others to see to avoid suspicion. With high emotional intelligence and intense intuition, they can easily fall into destructive thought patterns, including intrusive or sexual thoughts, and fear being exposed. Despite their suspicion of others' intentions, they strive to maintain a high vibrational image. In love, they're fiercely loyal and keep secrets close, but they can be ruthless if wronged. They delve deeply into thoughts, even overanalyzing simple problems and pondering existential questions. Their intuition often reveals truths they'd rather not know, making hiding things from them futile. Obsessed with what stimulates them, they can become stubborn and refuse to let go of harmful things. They find meaning in everything, holding onto items or information they believe will be useful. While loyal, they keep themselves guarded, trusting only themselves. Others may find them intimidating or blunt, and they enjoy playing with power due to their ability to easily gain trust. A Scorpio Mercury communicates sensitively and perceptively, reading into hidden meanings and subtext. They tend to keep their thoughts and feelings to themselves, balancing expression with restraint. They possess strong intuition and mental energy but may struggle with overthinking.

🫧 sagittarius mercury

Individuals with Sagittarius Mercury are warm and nonjudgmental, making others feel at home and giving them the best time of their lives. They're open-minded and objective, often surprising people with their vast knowledge and random facts, although they may feel insecure about their intelligence. They tend to see the best in everyone and can easily be taken advantage of due to their desire to do the right thing. They're great listeners and offer wise, unbiased advice, drawing people to them for venting sessions. Growing up, they were likely interested in solving larger problems, but they can get stressed easily and lost in knowledge and details. They're open to new experiences and friends but are put off by judgmental or arrogant people. They have a playful sense of humor and enjoy sharing random facts with friends, but they don't like being told what to do and can be unreliable if they're not truly interested in something. Their attention span is short, making it difficult to focus, and meditation may be challenging due to their constantly active minds. With Sagittarius Mercury, communication is playful and positive, marked by quick wit, humor, and a talent for uplifting conversations. They bring a bright and lively energy to any interaction, making people laugh and bringing joy to any situation.

🫧 capricorn mercury

Capricorn Mercuries are reserved and only share what's necessary, commanding respect with their directness, which can sometimes be mistaken for rudeness. They avoid drama and focus on their own pursuits, maintaining a private and reserved demeanor. Their knowledge comes from life experiences and karma, often shaped by past struggles and moments of loneliness. While typically kind, they have clear boundaries and won't hesitate to assert themselves when pushed too far. They're calculated and loyal, often taking on a protective role, especially with siblings. With a mature outlook on life, they exude old soul vibes and may seem like natural teachers. They excel at planning and methodical tasks, dedicating themselves fully to their responsibilities. Despite being social, they prioritize duty and future success over socializing, often retreating to recharge. They value trustworthiness and responsibility in others but have little tolerance for foolishness. Communication for Capricorn Mercuries is pragmatic and logical, characterized by a clear and ordered approach. They prefer speaking with precision and clarity, often overthinking decisions and striving for perfection.

🫧 aquarius mercury

Aquarius Mercuries possess vivid imaginations and creative minds, often thinking far ahead but struggling with simple concepts. They may excel in unconventional roles while finding day-to-day tasks boring and easily becoming distracted. Despite being social, they struggle to open up and may feel neglected or misunderstood for their ideas. Their innovative nature draws admiration, but they may attract copycats without calling them out due to their kind demeanor. They have a random but fun sense of humor, often sending memes or random comfort items. Their accepting nature and detachment make them intriguing to others, who are drawn to their unique perspective and lack of judgment. They may be interested in the occult or unconventional topics. Getting to know them is a hit or miss, as they either click with someone completely or don't connect at all. Communication for Aquarius Mercuries is unique and inventive, characterized by creative and original thinking, often outside the box. They may get lost in their thoughts and should strive for more grounded and effective communication.

🫧 pisces mercury

Pisces Mercuries possess vast knowledge and ideas but may struggle with insecurity and seek validation. They have an old, wise soul, often knowing things intuitively and feeling deeply. They are sacrificial and generous, prone to being taken advantage of due to their kindness. In love, they may overlook red flags and defend their passions fervently. Drawn to beauty and gentleness, they have a creative sense of humor and may struggle with mundane tasks. Their relationships with siblings can be complex, ranging from intuitive understanding to manipulation. When expressing their darker side, they can be manipulative or prone to self-deception. Words of affirmation are important to them, as they have a vivid imagination but are often misunderstood. Pisces Mercuries approach communication intuitively and emotionally, valuing creativity and empathy but sometimes struggling with logic and detail.

this post was created by @astrogossipp on tumblr <3 if reposting my work please give credits.

pics by @vmstv

[sorryimananti-romantic]

saurrr what do we need to do to get that deleted scene??? 👀🤲🏼

beg.

LJHDFJGHKJ KIDDING you asked and i shall serve with not only the deleted scene but two bonus scenes:

from the fic guerrilla (serialkiller!dr.yunho x writer!reader)

wc: 4k

notes: surgeon yunho who just so happens to be a serial killer (a vigilante with morals if you must), reader is a writer working on gory crime fiction novels, they are housemates, fluffy stuff, talks about therapy, questionable morals, honestly very questionable morals, smut at the end (minors and anyone not comfortable with dark themes do not interact with the third section

"oh, you're home. almost didn't hear you," you said when you spotted yunho coming down the stairs. in the past few months, you had learned quite a few habits of his, one being that he could be as silent as a feather at times.

which was a bit scary, but you supposed it was just a natural skill of his.

"of course you didn't. you were humming something while you cooked," yunho stood near the counter, looking around and you muttered a silent curse- no wonder you didn't hear him. "need help?"

"yeah, if you could just set the table," you said and yunho obeyed instantly, taking out the utensils and scooping the dishes while you told him about your day- mail arrived, you befriended a stray cat that has now found home in your backyard, you went shopping for grocery today and got the stuff yunho had requested you to buy for him.

and while you ate, yunho said his thanks for saving him a trip to the grocery store and told you about his day- he went to assist a professor from his previous job in a complicated surgery upon his request. you told him he looked fond of that professor and he admitted that he owed most of his surgery skills to him and he often called him to assist him.

and just like that, you finished your meals and you started clearing the kitchen and washing the dishes while he went to the backyard to bring the laundry inside. it was the weekend and you wondered if yunho would join you in the living room just to hang out or watch something. or would he be too tired and just say goodnight and leave?

he stayed. he slumped down on the couch and took out his phone, probably responding to texts. you silently joined on the other end and turned on your laptop which opened to your document and reminded you of the question that had been looming over your head the entire day. you glanced at yunho but he seemed absorbed in his phone and you sighed- maybe you'll just ask him tomorrow-

"is something the matter?"

he didn't have to be that observant. you straightened. "nothing. just wanted to ask you something related to the book- but it can wait."

"you can ask me, y/n."

"you seem busy and tired, though..." your voice faltered when he shot you with a challenging look.

"never too busy for your weird questions."

"oh," you laughed a little and when he set his phone aside to focus on you, you stifled a satisfactory smile. "okay, so remember what i told you last time? the cop who's also a criminal, he's targeting the main character- the detective now. he finally baits her into entering the abandoned warehouse where she thought she would find some druggies."

"yes, and the warehouse doesn't have much space to run because of the abundance of shelves so when she's looking around, she keeps thinking she's hearing something- which is actually the criminal riling her up and waiting for the perfect opportunity to strike."

"yes," you smiled. "now, he's going to attack, and another unfortunate cop who accompanied our detective is going to get killed by him while trying to protect the detective. so that gets the detective all messed up in her head and she's lost her gun but there's a dagger lying on the floor- remember the dagger i showed you for reference?"

yunho nodded and you continued. "the detective aims to hurt the criminal, not kill, but the lines must be blurred so when she is questioned about her motives, she wonders if she actually intended to kill the man."

"because there's the fact that the criminal is her colleague and that could have worsened her anger. she might have actually wanted to kill him," yunho recalls.

"exactly," you shift in your position so your legs are tucked under you. "now... where would the detective stab him? self defense, anger, confusion, all these elements."

yunho hummed in thought, his eyes running all over your body. something you had noticed that whenever he answered one of your questions, he would envision them on you. that might have made you a flustered mess in the beginning when his eyes would fixate on a spot on your body but it didn't really bother you anymore- you supposed as a surgeon, he got lost in vivid imagination or something.

"there's quite a few ways we could achieve that, but i think if you can narrow it down, it might help."

"somewhere near the heart? throat? something that would disarm the criminal immediately," you said.

yunho nodded slowly, his eyes fixated on your neck now and you subconciously adjusted your shirt. he finally met your eyes. "i think this spot might do the trick."

yunho fisted his hand but outstretched the index finger. "suppose this is the tip of your dagger, right? you would want to stab right here," he turned his hand to touch the space between his collarbones. "this spot is tricky because for males and females, it's not the same."

"oh?" you touched that same spot on yourself. "how so?"

"males usually have a thicker clavicle," yunho explained, stretching the collar of his shirt to expose his collarbones. "the gap between the two may be wider but it's definitely easier to stab a man here than a woman."

you touched your own collarbones for reference in confusion and when yunho had enough of your struggling, he scooted closer and touched the space between your collarbones with his finger. "this part. v-shaped, right? it's a bit straighter for men. so if your criminal was a woman, i'd have you stab them... right here," yunho trailed his finger up and dug it in that spot. you nodded. "the clavicle is a bit narrower in females too," he trailed his finger along your collarbones. "and positioned at a more diagonal angle-"

he didn't realise when he started rambling but when he met your eyes, he found them wider than usual and your lips parted, and only then did he realise the proximity between you two. you gulped and he felt that movement on his finger still situated on your skin and his own lips parted in surprise, his mind going black when your gaze fell down there.

and if that damned phone hadn't buzzed repeatedly, he would have done something about you. he definitely would have, ignoring all his strict rules, because there was no way you didn't feel a certain way about him. he was sure you did, especially now. especially when he drew back to check his phone and heard you let out a deep breath. you had been holding your breath all this time.

"i, uh... i have to take this call," he pursed his lips.

"of course," you nodded.

"i hope that cleared your confusion?" yunho dared to ask and when you stifled a smirk, he got his answer.

-------------------------------------------

[bonus scene that takes place after the big revelation]

it's been a long time since you woke up feeling like there was a weight on your chest, unable to breathe properly, hair matted to your face and your head spinning.

a nightmare. no-

a memory.

you checked the time- it was almost 4. you shook your head- maybe you should have pushed yourself to stay awake until you passed out so you could have a dreamless sleep. you always slept better when you were tired- not the healthiest habit, but that was how you overcame your sleeping struggles as a teen when your father passed away.

would you have to do this all over again?

you managed to walk to the toilet to wash your face, staring at the sink for the longest time and letting the water run through your hands as if it could wash away the weight of what you had done before finally snapping out of it and turning the tap off, exiting the toilet to go to the kitchen. you took a deep breath and sat yourself on a stool in the kitchen, taking small sips from your glass.

you could not go back to sleep now. not anytime soon.

you briefly wondered when yunho got home- was he home yet? lately, you had been going to sleep at odd times so you didn't run into him much, but you couldn't sleep for long- you would always wake up, just like you did tonight. the nightmares were plaguing your rest hours-

the glass slipped from your hand and crashed on the floor loudly, making you squeal a little. you winced at how loud it sounded in the dead hours of the night and you tried to find a spot on the floor that was not covered with shards- how exactly were you going to put your feet on the floor with all the glass around you-

"y/n? is everything okay?"

you sighed internally. "did i wake you up? i'm sorry, the glass just slipped."

yunho turned on a light and surveyed the mess. "stay right there, okay? don't move- i'll get the broom."

you nodded and waited until he started cleaning the shards from around you, making sure he got everything and then running to your room quickly to get your slippers. you thanked him, taking the broom and dustpan from him this time, spotting a tiny shard at the other end of the kitchen.

"were you asleep? did i wake you up?"

"i got home like, an hour ago," yunho said. "was just scrolling a bit. are you okay, though? you look pale."

"yeah, i'm okay," you put the broom in a corner and washed your hands. when you dried them and turned, you noticed yunho watching you intently. "what?"

"did you have a nightmare or something?"

he always knew. somehow, he always saw through you.

"is it that obvious?" you let out a short laugh. "do i look like a mess?"

"i mean..." yunho stifled a smile. "you usually do look like a hot mess..."

"lovely to hear that," you nodded and he grinned, stepping forward and encasing you in his arms as he peered down at you.

"won't you talk to me about it?"

"what's there to talk about?" you cocked your head and yunho's heart sank a little at the way your eyes went blank. "i killed a man, yunho. again. of course i will have to live with the consequences now."

yunho licked his dry lips and he knew you had zoned out at the way your gaze was fixated on his face. "can i ask you something?"

it took you a moment to come back to your senses and nod. yunho took a deep breath. "do you regret killing the man who almost killed your father?"

"everything went wrong after i did that-"

"but if you could go back in time, would you change that?" yunho asked.

"no." you were sure you would make the same decision. "because if i had not done that, he would have killed all of us."

"so... do you regret killing the man from a few days ago?"

"not at all," your response was quick. "he was going to kill you. i would have done the same, no matter who it was."

yunho brought his hand to your cheek and caressed it, his eyes full of love. you continued, "but that doesn't change the fact that i have killed people."

"i know," yunho said. "you will have to live with that for the rest of your life. it won't get easier, it will always hang like a noose over your head. but if you keep all of this to yourself... it will only get harder, y/n."

"i just... i don't know what to do," you exhaled a deep breath, looking away. "i feel so helpless. you've done so much to help me, hell, you almost took the blame for it, but still..."

"all these feelings are normal," yunho took your hand and started guiding you to the couch in the living room. you both settled down close to each other with yunho's hand on your shoulder, his thumb caressing your neck. "but if it's troubling you to the point of nightmares... why didn't you tell me earlier, y/n? if there's anyone who can relate to you..."

"it's you, i know," you smiled a little. "and i'm okay, for the most part, but for a while that night, i really thought it was all over, and that scared me so much, yunho."

"it's okay-"

"it's not the remorse that's eating me up, see?" you let out a short laugh. "it's... the fact that it's not the remorse eating me up but my selfishness when i was scared that you were going to take the blame and i would have to pick up the pieces of what was left all by myself. that your friends would hate me for the rest of our lives. that you would rot away in prison, like my father did, and i would never get to touch you again. it's wrong, isn't it? that this is the product of my nightmares and i don't need to sleep to feel this? does this make me a monster, yunho?"

if yunho could tell you how he felt at that moment, perhaps you would cower away, but he just had to ask you something. "do you still think you're the monster when i'm right in front of you?"

you looked at his unbelievably soft gaze and furrowed, somewhat confused brows. the dim lights from the kitchen softened half of his face, but even the shadows on his face didn't change who he was. you found his hand on your neck and held it, pressing your lips against his palm.

"i have killed more people than i can count, y/n," yunho continued, his voice pained. "but if that means that the world is somehow safer, i will continue down this road no matter how weary i get. does that make me a bad person or a good person? i realised long ago that i needed to stop categorising myself into one category, however... i sure as hell wouldn't call myself a good person," he let out a short laugh and you shook your head.

"if you weren't a good person, you wouldn't have tried to take the blame for me that night. and on that note... what were you thinking when you did that? without hesitation? can you imagine how wrong it could have gone if you got caught at that time-"

yunho leaned in and captured your lips in a deep kiss and thought it took you by surprise initially, you quickly melted in his grasp, your heart fluttering uncontrollably at the way he held and kissed you. when he drew back, he lingered for a few moments before looking at you.

"i would have done that anyway, no matter the consequences," he told you and you smiled sadly. "for you... i would do it again. so will you listen to me? will you let me help you?"

you nodded and he pulled you in for a hug. you scooted closer, almost sitting in his lap as you wrapped your arms around his waist, fisting the material of his sweatshirt.

"i know how hard it is to live with what we have done, no matter how we feel about it or think we feel about it," he caressed your head. "we think we have it all figured out. we think we'll be okay but really... it's still a human life, isn't it?"

you nodded- he was absolutely right.

"i harboured so much negativity in myself when my parents were killed. i thought if i would face their killer, i would not hesitate to kill him, but i did, and it cost me my sanity for a good while. if it weren't for hongjoong and mingi helping me figure out everything that was going on... i would have been so lost. i still think i am- the twisted, monstrous part in me is okay with what i do-"

"please don't call yourself a monster," you whispered. "you're anything but."

yunho embraced you tighter. "thank you for believing in me, but you should also tell yourself that."

and that's when it all made sense, what yunho was trying to tell you. it wasn't okay, it probably never will be, and it never should be. that's what you have to live with, and that's what will ultimately differentiate you from the actual monsters in this world.

"how do i convince myself i'm not the same as them?"

"that's what i'm here for," yunho laughed and you joined, drawing away from him. "but actually... i have a suggestion for you."

and that's how he told you all about mingi, the psychiatrist and the therapist who would never judge you no matter how dark your deepest thoughts and desires were. the person who would be able to understand your situation better than anyone else in this world since he was also a part of what yunho did. and most importantly, the person who wouldn't convince you to be someone you weren't. someone who wouldn't put you high on a pedestal or push you to your lowest. you adored the look on yunho's face when he told you all about his friend and you thought that mingi must be an admirable person if yunho believed in him so much.

and that night, he made a vow to you- he would always be there for you. he would be there to help you with the nightmares because he wished someone was there for him too. he would make sure you get proper sleep, and how couldn't you, if you were in his arms, safe and secure? how couldn't you, if you were showered in kisses before you fell asleep? how couldn't you, if you were enveloped in his scent that felt like home now?

the nightmares wouldn't easily stop but at least you wouldn't feel alone now, and that was all that mattered.

----------------------------

[something romantic but unhinged bc man now that i'm writing guerrilla again i wish i made it even longer LMAO]

[mdni!] [and do not interact if you're not comfortable with dark themes]

"yunho, what if your dark fantasies take over while we're having a moment and you kill me or something?"

yunho almost choked on the last sips of hot chocolate you had made him and he put the cup down on the table before shutting his eyes, inhaling and then opening them to glare at you.

"what stupid book are you reading now, babe?"

you pursed your lips in guilty admission. "you don't need to know that."

it had been a good few months into your relationship with yunho now, and he knew to expect odd questions like these way before that. when you first moved in, the questions had been related to your crime fiction wip but now that you were comfortable with him...

too comfortable, he thought. you couldn't ask something like this while you were seated so casually, defenceless across the couch with your legs in his lap while you used your tablet probably to edit your current draft.

"but do you think it happens? do you have moments like those when you... you know."

"when i what?" yunho smirked. he could play this game.

you immediately knew the mood had changed when his eyes glinted playfully. one thing about yunho was that no matter how strange or ridiculous your questions were, he would always answer.

"i won't judge you, i promise," you laughed a little. "but do you ever want to? or do you think others do?"

"words. i need you to say it out loud," yunho sat back cockily while his hand rested on your thigh, squeezing it almost suggestively.

and you knew it could only go one way from here. one thing about yunho was that no matter how strange or ridiculous your questions were, he would always answer-

practically. whenever he could, practically.

"if you're about to see if you feel like killing me right now, no thanks. and for your information, i can fight back."

"can you?" yunho scoffed.

"i've killed two men."

yunho laughed mockingly at that. "two. such a cute number."

your heart sank at that but you tried to lighten the situation. "okay, yeah, i should probably stop reading stupid books-"

"do you want me to check and see, though?" yunho cocked his head dangerously, removing his hand from your thigh only to hold your hand and pull you closer.

"geez, you really take answering my questions so seriously," you teased. of course he would never hurt you, but the thought of where this could lead to excited you in too many ways and you internally slapped yourself. "i guess i'll find the answer if i live to tell the tale?"

yunho pulled you properly in his lap, one hand stationed across your legs to keep you close to him while the other hand stayed on your neck, his thumb caresseing your adam's apple. you loved putting yunho in this headspace, when his gaze darkened as he thought about all the ways he would mess with you.

"do you know how easy it is to take someone's life if you press this wrong?" yunho pushed your adam's apple with his thumb just a fraction. "even just a little pressure can make it difficult to breathe."

you twisted away from him to put your tablet away and then put your own hand on his neck to feel his adam's apple. you pressed it a little just like he had demonstrated and nodded in understanding.

"it's ironic then, isn't it?" yunho looked up at you. "that some of the most sensitive spots on a human are around there?"

before you could ask him to elaborate, he pulled you closer to kiss you on the side of your neck and you gasped when you realised where this was going. he didn't stop there, though, no. he flipped you effortlessly so your back was flat on the couch and he was on top of you. before you could process anything, he was back to peppering kisses along your neck, planting a rather long one right on your adam's apple before finding your sweet spot and continuing to kiss and suck there.

your back arched in pleasure when one of his hands went to hold your waist but found your bare skin instead, your shirt having ridden up. you squirmed under him, one hand at the nape of his neck. when he was satisfied after earning a loud moan from you, he drew back to admire the bruising mark on your neck.

and then he grinned at your breathless form.

"that was so out of the blue," you laughed.

"i'm nowhere near done though," yunho kissed your temple, trailing his lips down along the angles of your face and then kissing your jaw sweetly. you brought your limp arm up to fist his shirt and crash your lips on his because he should stop teasing you already. yunho smiled into the kiss before responding enthusiastically and you tasted chocolate on his lips which made you hum in satisfaction.

yunho took that as his cue to escalate things further. while he kissed you, he let his hand travel down your body until it reached the waistband of your shorts. he broke the kiss to look at you and make sure you were okay and when you nodded, he pulled them down a bit to slide his hand down and he looked at you in surprise.

"you're soaking wet," he laughed a little. "tell me, which part turned you on?"

you slapped his hand and he laughed louder, pecking your lips and drawing away to lock eyes with you just in time to see your reaction when he slid a finger along your slit. he captured your gasp in another kiss and soon, things got all heated up. the sound of your moans were swallowed in his kisses as he slid two fingers knuckle-deep inside you and started thrusting them, curling them inside to earn loud gasps from you.

"so responsive," he praised, trailing kisses down your neck again and finding another spot to suck at. it was good that you mostly stayed at home, you thought. he had a thing with marking you and you could only imagine how much a hassle it would have been to cover it on a daily basis.

"yunho," you gasped when his thumb started circling your clit. it hadn't even been that long that you started getting more physical but he sure knew all your buttons. "please."

"please what?" he breathed against your adam's apple, reminding you once again how this all started.

"i'm so close," you moaned.

"already?" he tsk-ed, kissing the protruding spot on your neck. "how badly do you want it?"

you cupped his face and kissed him in answer, your tongues colliding in the passionate makeout which only sent another wave of arousal through your body and you shivered against him. he knew you were close so he drew apart and made you rest your head against the cushion again.

"you asked me about my dark fantasies, right?" yunho almost whispered and you nodded, anticipating what was next. "not the darkest fantasy, but a good start- choking."

you frowned- choking was pretty common... no?

"there's a very subtle difference in choking for pain and choking for pleasure," yunho explained, his hand around your neck now, his other hand still rubbing your clit in circles, his fingers pumping inside you slowly. "and sure, choking is common, but sweetheart..."

yunho pressed the sides of your throat for a second experimentally and you gasped. "feel that? see how everything you feel inside you becomes heightened but your senses grow numb?"

"yeah," you breathed, squirming under him- you were almost there. "pleasure."

"and if i pressed like this," he said, gently squeezing from the front- so gently that you almost didn't feel anything. "it would be to kill you. how faint is the line between pain and pleasure, y/n?"

you didn't realise when yunho sped up his fingers thrusting inside you but you were almost out of breath now and when he flicked your clit and provided the friction it needed to get over the edge, right when you could feel your orgasm beginning to wash over you, he leaned in to whisper in your ear-

"do you think i have dark fantasies like that?"

and you almost wouldn't have heard him because he pressed the sides of your throat, choking you right as your orgasm washed over you and your vision darkened, your back arching against him. everything was so heightened- yunho on top of you, his fingers inside you, his hand palming your clit, the other hand squeezing your throat like a choker necklace, his lips on your temple in a kiss, his thighs caging you, but the most heightened of all-

his question, the itch in your brain yet to be scratched. it clouded your thoughts as you took deep breaths to recover from the orgasm, as he kissed you everywhere and drew back to clean his fingers with tissues.

"so..." you breathed. "you won't be answering that, will you?"

he only smirked. "answering it would kill all the fun."

[wordsnstuff]

Hello! How are you? I have a question:

Should I focus on what I'm good or what I'm bad at in writing? I like to think that I can write poetic stuff rather well, but I can't write dialouges to save my life. So should I just focus on writing the stuff I'm good at and ignore the rest or should I focus on getting better at dialouges and such?

Leaning into strengths vs focusing on improvement...

I'm very well! Thank you for asking.

I think that this is an important conversation to have with yourself as any sort of artist, and I don't believe that it needs to end with a choice between practicing a skill you could improve at or the sticking to what you're good at.

A writer's brain is a muscle, and as you gain experience honing technical proficiency, you become more informed as to what strengths and weaknesses are apparent in your work. The first step is to examine how you approach different parts of the development of a story. Take the time to observe how you personally think through the process of writing dialogue and how that differs from your process writing poetic prose. Harmony between different parts of your writing process will make writing easier and lead to a more consistent style and quality. Your aim is to bring one skill to the level of another, so until you understand why prose comes more naturally to you, it will be challenging to identify why dialogue doesn't.

Perhaps dialogue requires you to exercise imagination in a way that isn't as consistent with the way you process the world around you. For me, dialogue can be challenging because my inner monologue centers observation and my thoughts occur to me in a more abstract way, leading me to be more adept at skills like articulating metaphors. However, this way of thinking makes it challenging to frame my ideas literally, as you must do to imagine a scenario and then predict a chain of events or interactions between elements. Identifying how your imagination functions organically will help you understand where your ideas come from and why certain ways of expressing them come more easily.

I think it's important to incorporate experimentation and practice into the routine of any art medium that you aim to improve at. Designating specific time to stretch the muscles, experiment with a new exercise, and broaden your skillset will always have a positive effect on your work overall, and when you identify a weaker area it's even easier to focus your time and energy to practice that. Alongside any large project, there should be a separate area for practice and play, because regardless of how skilled or passionate one is, there is always room to learn something new and expand one's ability.

I highly recommend installing time in your writing routine for specifically practicing the skill you are least confident in without pressure to contribute that practice to your primary project. Utilize whatever exercises motivate you. Personally, I like the idea of selecting a simple writing prompt and challenging yourself to write a scene entirely composed of dialogue, but you might prefer to set a short timer and try to imagine and record an organic, simple, and believable conversation between two people about something like choosing a paint color for a kitchen.

Always make time to better your craft. It will always deliver results.

Best of luck,

x Kate

-

Masterlist . Ko-Fi . Patreon

[lou-0111]

I Won’t Say (I’m in Love)

y/n doesnt believe in love, taylor, their best friend (who knows their view on love) tries to convince that luke would be a great boyfriend for them: bit of a long one today - 3.4k words

Love is stupid, ok? It’s pointless and there is absolutely no need for it. And no, It’s not just because I've had bad experiences, it’s the whole thing. Girls changing themselves for the boy they like. Boys being mean to people to get girls attention, the whole thing is just stupid.

If there's a prize for rotten judgement I guess I've already won that

I feel like I’ve made a series of poor decisions in my life, each one heavier than the last. This pattern of regret and self-reproach feels like it’s consuming me from within. It's become almost second nature to make mistakes because I've fallen into the habit of making them, and each misstep adds to the weight of my past errors.

No man is worth the aggravation

No guy at Camp Half-Blood is worth going through that emotional turmoil again. It’s simply easier to avoid falling in love altogether. The past is full of lessons learned—the kind where you thought you'd finally moved on, only to find yourself trapped in the same old cycles. The gods had their trials, and there's no need for us to repeat their mistakes.

That's ancient history, been there, done that

This happened to the gods in the past, it shouldn't be repeating with us again

Who d'you think you're kiddin'? He's the earth and heaven to you

“Y/N, you have to listen to me on this.” My best friend, Taylor starts, “Luke would be the perfect boyfriend for you. First, he’s genuinely kind-hearted. It’s not just something he puts on for show—he’s consistently thoughtful and considerate in everything he does. You’ve seen it yourself, right? How he interacts with everyone around him, always making sure people are okay and that they’re feeling included.

And let’s talk about his skills—he’s an exceptional swordsman. His dedication and proficiency with a sword are impressive.

But it’s not just about physical skills. Luke is amazing with the younger campers. He’s got this natural ability to connect with them, to mentor them, and to make them feel important. He treats them with such patience and respect. You know how much that matters, seeing someone who doesn’t just see the younger kids as a burden but genuinely enjoys helping them grow.

So, don’t let your past experiences cloud your judgement about him. Luke isn’t just another face in the crowd; he’s someone who genuinely fits what you need in your life. It’s worth considering that maybe, just maybe, he could be the one who changes your perspective on love.”

Everyday, every damn day, Taylor goes on about how me and Luke would be great together. But I don’t see it. Love is stupid, Taylor is stupid for thinking I like him.

Try to keep it hidden Honey, we can see right through you (Oh, no) Girl, you can't conceal it We know how you're feelin', who you're thinkin' of

We were walking back from training one day when again, she started the whole luke chat. “Y/N, I need to be real with you here. It’s becoming impossible to ignore how you keep watching Luke. You spend hours just observing him as he trains. It's not just casual glances; you’re practically mesmerised by how he moves with such skill and focus. Every time he picks up his sword, there’s this look in your eyes that I can’t ignore.”

Excuse me? He’s the best swordsman at camp, obviously I'm going to watch him, to get pointers on how to get better, nothing else. 

“And it’s not just during training. When Luke interacts with the younger campers, your attention is entirely on him. You’ve seen how he takes the time to teach them, to encourage them, and how he genuinely connects with them on their level. You watch him as he patiently helps them learn and grow, and there’s this soft, almost admiring look on your face. It’s clear that you’re moved by how he treats them with such kindness and care.” “I just think it’s sweet how he takes his time teaching them, nothing more, I'd be the same way if anyone else did what he does.”

“I know you’re trying to play it cool and act like it doesn’t matter, but let’s be honest—your feelings are showing. It’s like you’re trying to hide behind this façade that love isn’t worth it or that you’re not interested, but it’s obvious to everyone around us. We all see how your face lights up when he’s around, how you hang onto his every word and action.”

“Woah, you need to slow down, someone might hear you, my face doesn't ‘light up’ ok Tay? I’m a listener, sorry if i listen when people talk to me, I don’t like luke, never have, never will.”

Stop denying it. We can see right through you. It’s not just about admiring him from a distance; it’s about the way you light up when you talk about him or when he’s in the room. Your actions are screaming that you have feelings for him, even if you’re trying to convince yourself otherwise. It’s ok if you like him, if you’re in love, it’ll be good to put your heart out again.”

Where my heart can get hurt again. I mumble walking away. I do not like Luke.

You swoon, you sigh Why deny it? Uh-oh It's too cliché (Ah-ah-ah-ah) I won't say I'm in love

Being in love feels like a foolish, unnecessary risk to me. It’s as if admitting that I’m in love would be an act of surrender, a sign of weakness. I keep telling myself that I don’t need a man to complete my life or make me happy. My independence has always been my strength, and the idea of falling for someone seems like it would undermine that strength.

I’ve managed perfectly well on my own, navigating life without relying on anyone else to validate my worth or fill a void. I’ve built my own stability and happiness through my own efforts, and I’m proud of that. The thought of opening myself up to love feels like an invitation to vulnerability and potential heartbreak, and I’m not ready to risk that.

Admitting that I’m in love would mean acknowledging that I need someone, and that’s something I’m determined to avoid. I don’t want to be in a position where my happiness depends on another person’s actions or feelings. I’ve seen how love can complicate things, how it can lead to disappointment and pain. It’s easier to stay detached and focus on myself rather than deal with the unpredictability of a romantic relationship.

I keep convincing myself that I’m better off without the emotional upheaval that love often brings. I’m self-sufficient and capable, and I don’t need anyone else to complete me or make me feel whole. Embracing love feels like it would disrupt the balance I’ve carefully created in my life. So, I put up a wall and tell myself that I’m not in love and that I don’t need a man to be content. It’s a way of protecting myself from the potential pain that comes with opening my heart.

I thought my heart had learned its lesson It feels so good when you start out (Ah) My head is screaming, "Get a grip, girl" "Unless you're dyin' to cry your heart out" 

I won’t put myself through that again. I’ve been burned too many times by love to let it happen once more. Each time I’ve opened my heart in the past, I’ve ended up disappointed and hurt. The cycle seems to repeat itself with every relationship I’ve been in: the initial charm and allure give way to a painful reality that shatters the illusion.

Every guy I've been with starts off presenting the best version of themselves—perfectly polished, attentive, and seemingly sincere. They act like they’re everything I’ve ever wanted, showing me a side that makes me believe in the possibility of a true connection. But as time goes on, it’s like a switch flips, and suddenly, they’re no longer the person I thought they were. The transformation happens so swiftly and so completely that it feels like a betrayal. One day, everything seems perfect, and the next, I’m left grappling with someone who’s changed overnight.

It’s as though these men wear masks, carefully crafted to win me over, only to discard them once they’ve achieved their goal. The facade falls away, revealing a reality that’s often disappointing and disheartening. I’ve come to expect that this pattern will repeat itself because it always has. Each time, my trust and hope are eroded, and it becomes harder to believe that someone can truly be genuine.

I’ve reached a point where my heart simply can’t handle any more of this emotional turbulence. The pain of investing my emotions into someone who ends up disappointing me is too much to bear. The cycle of hope and heartbreak has left me exhausted and wary. I’m trying to shield myself from further damage, to protect my heart from the predictable cycle of rising expectations followed by crushing disillusionment. The idea of putting myself through that kind of emotional rollercoaster again feels unbearable. So, I shut down, convinced that avoiding love is the best way to preserve my peace and prevent further pain.

You keep on denying Who you are and how you're feeling Baby, we're not buying Hon, we saw you hit the ceiling (Oh, no) Face it like a grown-up When ya gonna own up That you got, got, got it bad?

"Y/N, It’s becoming impossible for anyone who knows you to ignore the signs. Your reactions when he’s near, the way you talk about him—it all points to something deeper than just friendship or admiration. You might be trying to downplay it or act like it’s not a big deal, but everyone can see it. We all notice how you light up when he’s mentioned or how you subtly seek out opportunities to be around him.

"Well why don't you go out with him? Since you notice every small detail about him."

You’re not fooling anyone with your attempts to mask your feelings. The way you talk about him, how your mood shifts when he’s mentioned—these are all clear indicators that your feelings for Luke run deeper than you’re willing to admit. It’s written all over your face and in your actions. It’s not just a small crush or a fleeting interest; it’s something more significant, something you’re clearly struggling to acknowledge.

So why keep pretending? It’s okay to have feelings for someone, especially someone like Luke. The sooner you accept and embrace your feelings, the easier it will be to figure out what to do next. Hiding behind this facade of indifference only makes it harder for you to deal with the truth." "Taylor, I cannot keep having this convosation with you, it's getting on my nerves, please just drop it." I'm never falling in love, with anyone.

(Shoo, shoo-doo, doo-doo) No chance, no way I won't say it, no, no Give up, give in Check the grin, you're in love This scene won't play I won't say I'm in love You're doin' flips (Ooh-ooh) Read our lips, you're in love

The idea of opening myself up to another relationship feels like an invitation to endure more pain. The thought of investing my emotions again, only to face the inevitable disappointment, is almost too overwhelming to consider. My heart has reached its limit; it feels battered and fragile from past letdowns. The fear of another heartbreak is paralysing, making it hard to even entertain the idea of risking my emotional well-being once more.

I want to protect myself from the cycle of hope and disillusionment that has characterised my past experiences with love. The emotional toll has been significant, and I’m desperately trying to shield myself from further damage. The prospect of enduring another emotional upheaval is daunting, and my heart simply can’t handle the strain of another potential letdown. "Y/N, I know you don't like talking about it, but I csn't help it. Why csn't you see it? We’ve all see how you blush every single time you talk about Luke. It’s not just a subtle thing—your cheeks practically light up, and there’s this undeniable warmth in your voice. It’s impossible to ignore the way your eyes sparkle when his name comes up or how your entire demeanour shifts to something more animated and bright.

And let’s not forget how you watch him during mealtimes. It’s like you’re drawn to him in a way that’s hard to miss. You’re always glancing over at him, whether he’s chatting with the others, helping out with the food, or just enjoying a moment with his friends. You might think you’re being discreet, but it’s so obvious to everyone around. The way you steal glances and the way your gaze lingers just a little too long—these aren’t things you can easily brush off.

Trying to deny your feelings for Luke doesn’t change the reality of the situation. Your reactions and behaviour make it clear to all of us what you’re trying to ignore. We see through the act of nonchalance you’re putting on. It’s not just a case of mild interest; it’s something deeper. We can tell that you’re emotionally invested, even if you’re not ready to admit it to yourself.

It’s time to face the truth about your emotions. The more you try to suppress or deny them, the more obvious it becomes to everyone around you. There’s no need to hide or pretend anymore."

Taylor says before walking off.

I keep convincing myself that nothing will come of this, and that denying my feelings will make it all go away. I’m certain that nothing will happen between us, and so I refuse to acknowledge my true emotions.

Despite my best efforts to conceal my feelings, it's becoming increasingly difficult to ignore them. I try to pretend otherwise, but my actions and reactions betray me. Deep down, I think I’m in love, but I can’t bring myself to say it.

You're way off base (Shoo-doo, shoo-doo) I won't say it (She won't say it, no) Get off my case (Sha-da, sha-da) I won't say it (Ooh-ooh-ooh)

I’m adamant about not admitting my feelings. It’s a protective mechanism to avoid vulnerability and potential heartache. I want to be left alone to keep my emotions private.

Girl, go be proud It's okay, you're in love

Admitting my feelings would mean exposing myself to the possibility of heartache, and I’m not ready to take that risk. The emotional turmoil that follows when feelings aren’t reciprocated, or when they lead to disappointment, is something I’m determined to avoid. I’ve learned from past experiences that letting my guard down can lead to deep, sometimes overwhelming pain. By keeping my feelings to myself, I maintain a sense of control and safety, shielding my heart from potential harm.

I want to be left alone to keep my emotions private because it feels like the only way to maintain my emotional stability. Sharing my feelings would mean inviting scrutiny and potentially having to navigate the complexities of another person’s reactions and responses. It’s easier to keep everything internal, to process my emotions in solitude where I can control the narrative and avoid the unpredictability of others' reactions.

This private handling of my emotions is a means of self-preservation. It’s my way of creating a barrier between myself and the risk of emotional pain. The prospect of vulnerability, of exposing my inner thoughts and feelings, is daunting and unsettling. So, I prefer to keep my emotions hidden, managing them in the confines of my own mind where I can protect myself from the uncertainty and potential hurt that comes with opening up to others.

However, Taylor did not agree with my choices.

"Listen, Y/N, it’s really important for you to understand something: it’s completely okay to embrace your feelings. Love, as complicated and intimidating as it can be, is not something to be ashamed of or to hide from.

You deserve to be happy. If you have feelings for Luke, acknowledging them doesn’t make you weak or foolish—it makes you human.

There’s no shame in being vulnerable; it’s a sign of strength and courage. It’s a step towards allowing yourself to experience love and all the happiness that can come with it.

Hiding from your feelings or pretending they don’t exist only prolongs the emotional struggle and prevents you from fully engaging with the positive aspects of life."

"Yeah, whatever Tay, I'll see you later."

She raises her eyes at me, noticing I don't tell her to shut up about the topic.

At least, out loud I won't say I'm in love

It feels ridiculous to admit that I might be in love. I’ve convinced myself that I don’t need a man to be happy and that I’m fine on my own. Declaring my feelings feels like an invitation to heartbreak, something I’ve vowed to avoid.

I do have feelings for Luke. I’ve come to realise that I am in love with him, but I can't bring myself to openly acknowledge it. I’ll keep these emotions to myself, hidden away where I can manage them privately.

Who knows, maybe one day I'll tell him?

Doubt it.

[mbti-notes]

hi! im an entj and i wanted to know if you have any tips on how to be a better student whilst not thinking too much about grades or results. i feel like i place alot of emphasis on grades and results and i think it often hinders me at times. i often have trouble finding more ''meaning'' in my work and i'm not sure how to add more value into it other than achieving a good grade.

Your question is too vague because you haven't specified what level of schooling you're at and what your idea of a "better" student looks like. This "hinders you" how exactly? What is the exact nature or source of your discontent? What exactly are you aiming for? Without this context, it's hard to craft a response.

Did you know that professors in the US are witnessing a "literacy crisis" in their students that has never before been observed in the history of modern education? While there have always been unmotivated and underachieving students, nowadays, an alarming percentage of motivated students are barely able to handle more than ten pages of text at a time (the average assignment used to be 20-30 pages), nor are they able to analyze and comprehend the meaning, themes, or arguments being communicated in the text.

A literacy deficit poses a serious threat not just to the student's individual success, but also to the integrity of higher education and the functioning of society. Colleges have no choice but to "dumb down" their offerings over time. But more importantly, a successful democracy is difficult to sustain without intelligent and literate citizenry making sound judgments about complex social, political, and economic issues.

One obvious factor contributing to this problem is that many students have fallen behind due to the pandemic. Another obvious factor is the smartphone and the major role it has played in decimating people's attention spans. Extended focus and concentration are extremely important for learning, but endless internet scrolling trains the mind to expect rapid change and crave instant gratification. Yes, anyone who genuinely wants to be a good student should care deeply about the factors that hinder/inhibit their learning process. Increasingly, misuse of technology, such as smartphone addiction and excessive reliance on AI, is a major factor that prevents students from reaching their greater potential.

High school and college students are still in the early stages of ego development. Since their self-awareness hasn't had much time to develop, they don't tend to be aware of their own underlying motivations, for example, they will often just do something because it's just what everyone around them does. Additionally, heavy social media consumption at this stage of life leads them to believe that "success" is just for show or about obtaining likes/praise.

This brings us to the main factor to consider, which is that students are increasingly trained to be motivated by extrinsic rewards. For example, in the US, school funding is often tied to exam scores, so teachers have been forced to focus more and more on teaching only to exams, in order to secure funding. Higher education has also become much more competitive, which means excellent grades are essential for securing a seat in university.

While there is nothing wrong with extrinsic motivation per se, there is something wrong when a person is only motivated by extrinsic rewards, to the point where they are completely ignorant/neglectful of intrinsic rewards. The research strongly suggests: People who are more intrinsically (than extrinsically) motivated tend to be better learners because they assign their own value to learning and understand the inherent virtues of intellect, knowledge, and skill, apart from their real-world applications. The topic of intrinsic motivation comes up often, I suggest you read past posts.

Before you asked me for "tips", did you put in a reasonable effort to inquire into yourself and figure out why you overemphasize extrinsic rewards? Could you come up with the reasons/causes on your own, through self-reflection? It's difficult to find the right solution to a problem when you don't understand its origins. This is an important point because a common symptom of extreme extrinsic motivation is abnormally low self-awareness due to having little to no inner life. How's your inner life?

With regard to type development, people who are very extrinsically motivated tend to a) be too easily influenced by environmental factors, and b) lack introverted development. The answer to your question already lies within you, specifically, in the state of development of your introverted Ni and Fi functions:

1) Extrinsically motivated people tend to believe that their life lacks meaning because the world lacks meaning. What they don't realize is that meaning starts from within, so the actual problem is that they aren't able to generate enough meaning on their own.

Ni is a key function for constructing meaning, usually through patiently exploring context and connections to a bigger picture (of life as a whole and/or the world at large). As such, lack of Ni development commonly manifests as:

dislike of ambiguity (due to preferring clear categorical answers)

impatience for complexity (due to wanting easy answers)

superficiality (due to not going beyond the known/obvious)

lack of vision (due to overemphasis on rapid results)

Since you didn't provide any details about function development, I can't speak to how much you struggle with the above issues. The only thing I can say is that all of them are detrimental to learning. Clarify your aim: Do you want to be a good student in school or a good learner in life? Do you know the difference? It is the difference between lower order versus higher order learning, which I have already explained in previous posts.

A good student wants to know the final answer. A lifelong learner uses ambiguity as an opportunity to explore more nuanced truth.

A good student can handle some challenges but stops at the most difficult point. A lifelong learner takes the initiative to unravel complexity and eventually encounters profound wisdom.

A good student reads the book all the way through. A lifelong learner is intellectually curious, which leads them to discover new realms of knowledge far beyond the book.

A good student follows instructions and is reasonably competent as a result. A lifelong learner sees the greater potential of the field as a whole and gradually becomes an expert as they attempt to realize that potential.

If a certain activity or subject matter doesn't hold any meaning for you, is it because it's boring, or is it because you haven't really given it a proper look? This isn't to say that you have to be an expert on everything; it is only to say that you won't be able to truly appreciate something until you dig deeper into it and actively nurture appreciation for it. This brings us to the second point...

2) Extrinsically motivated TJs tend to believe that "utility" is the only measure of value. What they don't realize is that value is inherent to existence, so the actual problem is an inability to recognize value.

Fi is a key function for assigning value, usually through forming uniquely personal and intensely emotional attachments. As such, lack of Fi development often manifests as:

taking things for granted (due to not honoring their value)

dismissive attitude (due to lack of emotional attachments)

passionless existence (due to fear of emotional intensity)

Again, I can't speak to how much you struggle with the above issues. I can only inform you that they also tend to be quite detrimental to learning:

Human beings need to stay fed and sheltered in order to survive, but they also need activities that affirm their humanity and enrich their life. What happens to learning if your only concern is securing a comfortable material life?

Human beings learn best through feeling deeply moved and inspired by the best of what humanity has to offer. What happens to learning if you remove the human component of knowledge and only treat it as "data", just another object for your consumption and disposal?

Human beings discover themselves and express themselves through their varied interests, which is how every subject comes to have its fans, devotees, and experts. What happens to learning if you refuse to take an interest, downplay enthusiasm, and temper or repress passion?

If a certain activity or subject matter doesn't hold any value for you, is it because it is "worthless", or because you are blind to its value? This isn't to say that you must love everything; it is only to say that you won't be able to know yourself truly and feel energized about learning as long as you have a habit of dismissing every aspect of life that isn't immediately or practically "useful" to you.

Having intrinsic motivation basically means you generate your own personal reasons for learning. Nobody can force you to care or take an interest. Becoming an adult means you have to be the one to realize the virtues of going above and beyond whatever is required to ace exams. It may all sound very abstract, but this makes the difference in determining whether you will end up being just another cog in the machine of society or whether your life will always feel imbued with a greater sense of meaning.

[derekscorner]

Fated Rantings: Clocktowers & Business Hours

Alright! After getting the Waver praise out of my system let's ramble about other aspects of the anime that I loved.

I'll link part one here if you're curious. (<- click)

Now then where do I even begin?

The world building

Why with the Clocktower of course! That is easily my favorite thing about what I watched. El Melloi shows me the broader mage world that I've only seen referenced till now.

Sure, I've seen vids on how the society works or the Clocktowers role but it's another thing actually seeing it as Waver navigates the setting. Whether he's solving cases or teaching his class I enjoy seeing Type-Moon's reality in motion.

I also generally like the atmosphere this place has. Not sure if it's due to the London setting or the older aesthetic of the places Waver visits but I find them homey. I'd like to be there in a sense.

...well in spirit. The mage world is ruthless so actually being there may get you killed.

It is also fun to just see the small details. Any Fate fan knows that most mages avoid modern technology so they have magical items doing things our tech would or just not bother at all.

For example, you often see golems cleaning the halls or how the phones are older models. Even the internet café Waver goes to for grading papers is set in an old building within walking distance of the tower.

It does a good job of giving it a fantasy feel despite it being the modern day.

You also see the slow bleeding of modernity into this world. Waver's whole class is in a department that focus' on modern magecraft and how to adapt to the technological world.

This doesn't mean they use computers but the class does reinterpret much of old magecraft into newer simpler forms. Given how magecraft is rooted in mystery and tradition (it literally only works for those reasons) the mages look down upon it yet they let it exist because they can't deny the changing of time.

Some mages even use modern technology. Caules and Flat have a expensive PC in their dorm room and Waver himself plays japanese video games due to his time with Iskandar.

The modern world is bleeding in but it still hasn't lost that fantasy charm.

The Classroom I'd actually like to visit

Although the anime used them sparingly I do find the class Waver teaches endearing. I wish the characters had gotten more time to shine in the anime.

I want to know why Svin boarders on being a Gray stalker or why Flat idolizes Waver. Hell, I'm fascinated as to why someone from an old mage lineage like Luvia would want him to be her tutor.

Yes, I gushed about Waver's talents in the part one but I know that as an outside observer. I want to know why SHE desires his tutelage. Luvia is by no means hurting in skill or intelligence.

Heck, I'd even like to learn more about Yvette as cracked as that girl is in the head. Is she really a spy? Why does she want to be Wavers mistress? I am genuinely intrigued by these chaotic misfits that Waver has to deal with.

I may begin the manga adaption just to see more of them no joke.

Reines motherf**ck Melloi

Then there was this chaotic lil shit. I was glad she got as much time in the anime as she did and even then I wanted to see her more. Part of that is because I am mischievous by nature and this child is a troll. I enjoy her antics.

She's also just a good example of how even the more calm mages in their society are just fuckin crazy. She kidnapped Waver when she was only like 11 or 12 years old.

It wasn't even for nefarious reasons, she just wanted to meet the man that put the Mellois in a bind. She didn't expect him to actually meet her demands or be her proxy until she can be the proper Lord El Melloi.

She wasn't even scared when they used new magecraft to launch her and Caules at Mach 1 during one of the cases. She found it fun...to be shot across Europe at mach 1.

She's genuinely entertaining to me and her fondness for Waver is fun to watch. Even if her entire reason to visit him for a day is to torment him.

She's also not above just pure human decency which is more rare among mages than you'd think. She is friends with Gray and talks to her often and even reaches out to Olga Marie.

Not for entirely selfless reasons to be sure but that's still more than most mages do. Given the childhood she had amongst assassinations and politics it's a miracle she's not more ruthless.

She's also apparently a genius or at least highly skilled since she remodeled Kayneth's mercury magecraft into her maid. That maid you see following her? That's Kayneth's mercury orb from Fate Zero.

She gave it a pseudo-personality and human shape. A child did that.

Olga Marie

I was surprised to see her in the story tbh. I began this with lore videos and FGO so I had an odd history with the character in a way.

I'm fully aware of Fate's multiverse nature but it's still neat to see characters you know living different lives. In particular, I found it fascinating that Olga's father is still a piece of sh*t that disappeared.

It makes me wonder how many worlds this tragedy repeats itself due to her father being obsessed with the Holy Grail only to learn that in most timelines it's corrupted and useless for wish granting.

Olga herself is tragic both in FGO and here albeit she's younger in this story.

She's definitely annoying but that's her childish nature processing her life. I actually felt bad in FGO for being a smartass once I learned of it. I was saddened again here in El Melloi because this Olga seemed to have a caretaker that actually cared about her only to lose that one as well.

It made me happy to see her get some level of friendship tbh. From what I hear she appears more in the novels and manga so I hope her life continues to be more positive than FGO.

I can't really say more than that on her personality because she's mostly the same but younger and with a brighter future.

Even Yggdmillennia appeared

It's a small mention but the first anime I sat through was Apocrypha so seeing Caules or hearing Yggdmillennia mentioned is a neat nod for me.

I didn't realize he usually ends up in the Clocktower in multiple timelines. I also wonder what drove his sister to live a normal life in this world.

I know how he got there in the Apocrypha world but I do not know what pushed his sister to abandon her role in this world.

Not Seiba

An aspect of the show I expected to have more to say on was Gray. I have many Fate posts now but many of them are two parters or about one show, the rest are about Saber.

I am a Saber (Artoria) shill and I will not deny as such so Gray is easily the one I know the most about lore wise. Sadly, the anime did not delve into her much.

I mean, I KNOW why she looks like that or what village she's referring to. I know why she admires Waver and sees him as a savior but that's me.

It's like with Fate 2006, I could appreciate it because I have context. Most people who just see this will not have that context. They will not know why Gray has Saber's face or her holy lance Rhongomyniad.

As as result I'm not sure I can do a whole post on her. I can easily ramble about her backstory but that's all. I'd want to see her story in motion, see how her past affects her, or see for myself the flashback.

What I can tell you is that Gray is tragic in her own way. Many Sabers are but Gray is unique in the sense that she is not actually Artoria Pendragon.

She hides her face, the whole reason she likes that Waver hates her face, is because it is not her own. She's the victim of a ritual hoping to revive king arthur.

Waver dislikes her face because Saber traumatized him during the 4th Grail War but he mostly just says so because it makes this poor young girl happy.

If you ever watch this anime before you read the novels, it's manga adaption, or even a lore video know this;

Gray was some poor british girl that's had her face stolen from her. Thanks to that lance she, like arthur, will not age and as El Melloi's story gets closer to the 5th Grail War (aka Fate Stay Night) Gray begins to adopt more of Sabers' features.

She's slowly losing herself, that is her tragedy.

It's a fun story

I'll wrap this up by saying that I loved this story. I love the setting, I love exploring the Type-Moon world. Although I could tell the anime cut bits of story I still enjoyed each case as well.

Such as seeing the fairy case early on. Not only did I get to see Kairi Sisigou from Fate Apocrypha again but I got to see more on faeries. A fascination of mine due to my childhood fondness of king Arthur and Celtic mythology.

The fae are fare more dangerous than one would think and within Fates world they are magical beings born of the earth. Many of them have magic that rivals the gods men once worshipped.

They are not to be meddled with which made that early case so neat to me. You see faeries charm men often but rarely do you see a faery charmed by love for a man.

Then there was the Rail Zeppelin a magical train. A MAGICAL TRAIN! Do you even realize the neurons that activates in a mans head?! Many a lad grow up loving trains in their youth.

AND THIS ONE IS MAGICAL! IT FOLLOWS THE LEYLINES! It's full of magic beings, vampires, they auction magic eyes, IT HAS A FUCKIN MAGIC CANNON!

They could've did a whole mini series set on this train and I would've watched it. I loved the train.

It's unfortunate that the Dr. Heartless plot is left hanging but by hell I got to see a magic train. I even got to see a dead apostle, a real one, through that Inash forest thing.

I think it comes from a Dead Apostle that's actually not of the earth like the whole True Ancestor-Dead Apostle lineage works but still. Blood sucking forest of death.

A true eldritch horror that one was!

Alas I am burnt out now. Been writing for a few hours and I'm unsure how satisfied I feel about part one. I'm not sure this was as solid as my Fate Zero or Mordred posts but oh well.

It's a fun show, it's a fun series, and I hope there's more because I've seen gifs I don't recognize the whole time I've typed this.

If you ever wondered if El Melloi is worth your time it is. It's a fun detective series set in a well fleshed out magical setting. Give it a go.

Bye now~

========================

For my other experiences with Fate click here: https://derekscorner.tumblr.com/tagged/fated-rantings

[captainjimothycarter]

94 & 10, Steggy

sorry for this being late, I've been sick af and trying to work on steggy secret Santa. I should be working on that but my focus does not exist in this state.

--

Read On AO3

He's flown many times in his life, flying should've just been as easy as breathing. Yet each time had to step on a damn plane felt like he was taking his life into his own hands.

Steve did not like flying, even as a kiddo. Most of the time he’d spent with his face buried into his mom’s side, until she taught him how to channel his anxiety into something productive, like braiding hair. Now as an adult, with a little one of his own, he was having to face the music that he just wasn't cut out for flying.

"Daddy, are you okay?" Sarah asked, feeling how tense her daddy got when the plane had taken off. It was promised to be smooth sailing and only a seven-hour flight. Plenty of time for her to get a nap in before they went out to explore. "You're not breathing, like when Uncle Clint saw a rabbit that one day at the park. Remember?"

He remembered how Clint tensed up at the sight of the white rabbit, jaw clenched and how he didn't even breathe until Bucky and Natasha had to get him away, and dragging a muscular 6'3 frame was not easy.

"Yeah," he muttered, finally remembering to breathe and trying not to let it be known he was gasping for air. He breathed deeply, calming until he felt his hands clenching the arms of the middle seat relax some. "Sorry, baby girl. Flying isn't exactly fun for me as it is for you."

Sarah made everything into an adventure, even something as simple as trotting down to the corner store was filled with fighting pirates and bad guys, using the shadows as a sort of puzzle. He'd written down most of what he could about her games, wanting to keep some dialogue of her innocent childhood, something to look back on, but her games, her imagination, were so complex that only she seemed to understand it.

"You get scared," it wasn't a question but a keen observation for a seven-year-old. She saw how tense her Daddy was when they took off, the way his fingers were now kneading the leather. "Can you braid my hair, Daddy? I want braids for when we land and braiding calms you down."

She was always so sweet, taking care of him when he should be taking care of her. Yet, here they were. Steve smiled at Sarah, leaning over to press his lips against her temple. "That's a wonderful idea, baby girl. Thank you for being so sweet to me."

"I should’ve done this earlier, but no time like the present," Steve noted, poking her nose lightly as she lifted the arm of the chair so there was more room between them. She turned around so her head was at his disposal, long dirty blonde curls cascading down her back.

It felt nice to fall into this rhythm of gathering her hair up between his fingers. He was a natural at braiding, learning the different techniques and how not to make it give Sarah a headache. He adored how adorable she looked after, showing the braid off to everyone.

One strand of hair over the other, secured with a bobby pin to be sure it didn’t escape. Listening to Sarah's humming seeing her reading the book she’d brought.

Steve continued to work, getting lost in the motion as the time slowly weaned on, listening to the slumbering snores of those around them, save for their seatmate who was well engrossed in her book. He caught her eye, her pretty brown eyes twinkling with delight as she tilted her head to look at the work that Steve had done. 

"You did an amazing job," she noted, earning a bashful smile for her compliment. "You have quite the skilled hands. When I was her age, any attempt to braid my heart resulted in a screaming match, one tantrum, and forced braids that made me look like Cindy Lou-Hoo.”

Steve laughed at that, a deep belly laugh that caused his head to throw back, his hand thrown over his chest. That sort of laugh, in anyone, always brought out a smile in Peggy - something about the manner he laughed told her that it was rare that he'd often do it.

"I'm very lucky when it comes to Sarah," he informed her, kissing his daughter’s temple. "Very lucky, indeed. She's been quite an easy, honest child and I don’t know what I did to get so lucky.”

“Unfortunately for my brother, my niece is known to take after me and that's caused some rift in the family," she chuckled, holding her hand out. "I'm Peggy, by the way."

"Steve and this lovely gal is my daughter, Sarah.”

Peggy smiled at the introduction to Sarah, even shaking her hand. She seemed almost nervous as she fidgeted with her book and set it aside. “If it’s not too much to ask, would you like to braid my hair? You’re just still tense and it seems to take your mind off things.”

Steve felt his face heating up, clearing his throat. Was he really that readable? "It would be my pleasure, ma’am. Let’s get you comfortable, here lean back into me.”

Steve settles himself behind Peggy, working her luscious, thick curls between his fingers. There was something familiar about the scent, the way that it wafted over him, reminded him of spending days with little Sarah in his arms, in the middle of a garden, just after it rained. The scent wafted off of her as he started to braid, weaving, plaiting, the curls were soft and he found himself falling enjoying the manner her curls felt, the scent coming off of her.

"Harley told me that in some cultures, someone braiding another’s hair means that you two are married," Sarah spoke up, breaking Steve's reminiscing. 

"Well, I didn’t know that! That’s an interesting thought," Peggy mused, glancing back to Steve and spotting the red flush on his skin. “Do you two follow that culture?”

"No!” Steve said this far too loud and too fast, wanting to pull away to cover his face. “I-I mean, no ma’am, we do not.”

“Miss Peggy," Sarah said, a bit too innocently for Steve’s liking. "We don’t but-but-but Daddy or you might. Where are you taking Daddy on a date, if you do?"

Steve had to admit he choked on his breath at his daughter's sudden question. Oh, no wonder she sounded far too innocent.

He couldn't even bring himself to look at Peggy now, honestly, a nervous laugh coming from the depths of his chest. He glanced over at her, Peggy's cheeks were stained a deep shade of pink, adorable and highlighting the freckles of her cheeks. He had half a thought of pressing his lips against her cheeks, of feeling as if they were just as warm as they looked.

"Darling," Steve says consciously, still finding his voice and looking over to Sarah. "Sweetheart, while that's sweet, I doubt Miss Peggy is even flying to Ireland and I'm sure she has her plans."

He's rewarded with a slight pout and Sarah looks dejected, but her shoulders slump in understanding that adults were busy and adults had their jobs and lives and couldn't drop everything on a child’s whimsical thoughts.

Thankfully, Peggy seems to understand and doesn’t get offended. She glances just over her shoulder at them, humming in response for a moment. "Unfortunately, you're right. I'm heading nowhere fun. I'm simply visiting family in London."

She didn't bother to hide the not-so-pleased tone in her voice over this fact either. He frowned slightly, tilting his head some. "Family is rough. God knows I try to avoid hanging with my extended family. I don't know how my mom got to be related to such a jackass too. It's why we're flying to Ireland for Sarah's birthday, trying to put as much distance between us and my Uncle as possible. Sarah asked if we could go to Ireland to see where I grew up."

Sarah had been interested in the conversation, leaning closer to rest her chin over her dad's shoulder. "Daddy is amazing with telling stories and telling about history! He makes really, really good bread too! Like the best soda bread and makes it better than Grandma Sarah."

He’s worried that they’ve somehow offended Peggy, given how quickly she falls quiet and how her brow pinches together.

Steve could see the gears turning in her head, the thoughts passing through. most likely thinking of what she had to do once she got to her home country. It surprises her, just as he's finished she turns to Sarah and smiles.

"Well, I've thought about it," she said, "And you're right, Miss Sarah, I think I would have more fun with the two of you. I'd like to join you two, as long as I'm not interfering with quality father-daughter time."

Steve tried not to hold his breath, hearing his daughter's sharp intake of breath. He didn't want to get his hopes up, Miss Peggy was pretty, she was interesting, and more importantly, Sarah seemed to love her. He shouldn't hold his breath in such a manner that she'd want to spend time with them.

This was just some Hallmark pipe dream, right?

"Daddy?" Sarah's voice squeaked, clinging to his arm. "Can she? Pretty please?"

Now how could he deny that and his little one saying please in such an adorable manner? Those puppy dog eyes didn't help either.

He smiled at Peggy, nodding his head. "You're more than welcome to join us, ma'am. I hate to ask but what about your family? Aren't they expecting you?"

Peggy shrugged her shoulders, fingers trailing over the delicate, elegant braid that Steve had weaved for her. "What about them? They're right prats who just want to sit there in a stuffy home and squabble over Nana's will and what is left over and whatnaught. They can sit there and squabble between themselves, I'm much better off with the two of you, After all, how else would I get such an amazing braid and even more amazing soda bread?"

--

Fanfic Mashup, I'll be doing these for today since I cannot concentrate.

[demonslayedher]

What would the Demon Spider Family have been like if they had been a demon slayer family (like the Rengokus) instead?

I may not have gotten ideas for them having been raised as generations and generations of Demon Slayers, but I did get ideas for them as a hodge-podge Spider Breath family! For brevity's sake, this is going to be focused on the main five.

We start with Rui, who once heard a story about a parent who dived into a river to save their drowning child. The child survived, but the parent sacrificed their life. This story left an impact on Rui, it moved him how deep the parent's love was, how courageous a strong person was in protecting the weak, and how tight their familiar bond must had been.

As he pondered it, his thoughts were interrupted by a light, crackly thud in the snow behind him. He looked over her shoulder to his mother, her knees flat on the ground, and her shoulders slumped. "I'm sorry... Rui... that I can't be stronger for you..."

"You say that like you didn't give me a strong body," he replied flatly, then helped her over his shoulders so they could finish the walk home. "You and father both, you make it like I've drained the strength out of you two."

"I'm sorry..." They were always apologizing. It wasn't their fault that his mother had a weak constitution ever since giving birth to him, and his father made his own frailty worse with how hard he worked to provide for them. Rui sometimes bitterly thought how they had things backwards, the parents were supposed to care for the child, not the other way around.

It couldn't be helped, though. Rui was an absurdly strong child. His tiny muscles compounded with strength every year, he was quicker than all the children around him, and he was smarter than them, too. They annoyed him how they couldn't appreciate the intricacies of natural patterns, like the beautiful construction of a spider web. He amused himself with string and mimicking those patterns, and through his observations, he intuitively learned to control his Breath in a way that that made all his skills even sharper.

However, none of that helped on the night the demon attacked. His parents flung themselves between him and the demon, and they were killed instantly. This shocked Rui so much that his hair all turned stark white. Before the demon reached stunned Rui, a young man in a black uniformed and haori in two halves swept through his home and beheaded in the demon in one simple motion.

"This isn't how it should had been," Rui squeezed his hands over his parents' corpses, "I'm the strong one. I'm the one who should had protected the weak. I could had strangled that thing with only one string."

"You think you're strong enough to defeat demons? Don't make me laugh," the young man said to him. "Use that anger. Stand up and face them if you will. Join the Demon Slayer Corps to attain the only weapons that will kill them."

So that was what Rui did. After getting some basic training and know-how and a Nichirin blade, Rui went through the Final Selection with a Breath of his own invention (but thought to be an off-shoot of Insect Breath), Spider Breath. In addition to using a sword, Rui also asked for Nichirin iron thread to use as a secondary weapon.

Rui's reputation spread. Besides the stark white hair from the shock of loosing his parents, one of the other oddities was that a side effect of Spider Breath was marks appearing on his skin (although the Ubuyashiki family took an interest in this, they are understood as not being The Mark. That would look like a cooler spider design, later). Also, just as a side effect of Rui's unusual strong constitution, he grows very, very slowly and looks like a child even throughout his teenage years. It's annoying, but he dismisses it simply as that his body was confused about where to focus its development, so he just keeps getting stronger instead (especially in Corp training).

Eventually, this leads to people coming to Rui wanting to learn Spider Breath.

---

Mother Spider, Father Spider:

She lost her mother to demons when he was very young. Life was very unkind to her thereafter, she was often abused by her caretakers and was desperate to please them. Eventually she was married off to a butcher, a very undesirable partner because he was not considered very smart, but considered very violent. He was raised without much hope for his prospects, and having grown up under a lot of violence himself, he resorted to violence better than words. This was all he knew to do in his marriage, too.

Finally, she could not stand it, and she ran off (partially intending to seek refuge with a local religious leader). She encountered a demon and thought she might finally meet her end and be released from all the suffering of life, but Rui saved her. She was so deeply impacted by this encounter that it ingratiated her to Rui, who was still very young at the time. Her heart was moved for pity for this orphan fighting so hard alone, and she insisted on learning from him so that she could protect him and shield him from the horrors of the world. She was the first person Rui ever met who showed a similar understanding for Spider Breath, so he accepted her, on the condition that she make herself useful. She promised, and practiced hard under her strict teacher. However, in all that time together she cared a great deal about him and asked that he think of her as a new mother. Rui wasn't looking for a new mother, but rolled his eyes and started calling her that.

Eventually he sent her off to the Final Selection, she survived, and then she came back wearing a uniform of Maeda's design.

So in all this time, her husband, who could never express himself well, nor had he ever had the chances to learn how to express kindness, how been looking for his wife. After all, that was his wife. Husbands and wives were supposed to spend their lives together, and he was lonely. Husbands were also supposed to protect their wives, he knew this, and he had to find her somewhere out there in the big, wide scary world where she surely didn't know what she was getting herself into.

On the day he finally finds her, she is not happy to see him, and Rui is annoyed by the family drama as Mother hides behind him. It has been a long time since they've seen each other, and when Father hears Rui call her "Mother," he assumes this is his son, whom he wells up with pride for. Rui, however, chides him to back off because his violence made her run off, and this is the first time anyone has ever said that so plainly to Father's face. Rui says she's busy as a member of the Demon Slayer Corp now, so if he wants to see her, he's got to be a Demon Slayer too. Father goes off to the Final Selection to do just that, and Mother is shocked when he shows up in a Corp uniform which barely fits; those buttons are hanging on for dear life. (He didn't have a Nichirin blade and therefore did not actually kill any demons during the Final Selection, but he survived just fine.) Mother is not happy, but Rui rolls his eyes and tells him that if he's going to stick around, he's going to have to learn Spider Breath, and be a better husband. Having Breath technique to study and give him other ways to think and express himself gives Father a lot more self-control, and very, very slowly, he expresses his love and appreciation for Mother in different ways (usually with the rest of the family needed to plainly tell him how to do it), and she very, very, very slowly sees him in a new light. It'll take a long, long, long time, and Father makes lots and lots and lots of changes, but eventually, they will be a couple again.

Brother Spider:

He was in Insect Breath user and showed up one day asking to be Rui's Tsuguko. Rui chided him that he wasn't a Pillar and shouldn't be treated as one, but if that was what this Insect Breath user wanted, fine, Rui would teach him, but only if he showed promise. Still, Rui asked his motivation.

At this, the young man grinned, saying that he thought Spider Breath could be made more potent with the addition of wisteria poison. He grinned wider saying that he didn't find Insect Breath vicious enough and that Spider Breath might make demons suffer more.

So this guy was kind of a weirdo, but sure, Rui didn't have a problem with someone who wanted to make demons suffer, they deserved him. This guy heard all that "mother, father" stuff even though Rui was very clearly not the child of his two students, and this young man thought it was hilarious and jumped in with, "that means you should call me 'Oniisan.'"

Father asked Mother, "We have two sons?"

Mother's first impulse was to reply that neither were his sons, but she thought the better of it and stayed silent.

Sister Spider:

She and her older sister were orphans, but one day when they were attacked, Muzan offered to let them live if they became demons. Although this sounded terrifying and she wanted nothing more than to get away, her older sister accepted demon blood. The sight of her sister twisting in pain as she transformed and then reawakened with bloodlust in her eyes scared her so much that it finally gave her the extra burst of adrenaline to run away.

She came to bitterly regret this later, and joined the Demon Slayer Corp so that she wouldn't have to face such fear for her powerlessness ever again. She learned Water Breath and barely survived the Final Selection, but when that wasn't enough to make each of her battles a life and death struggle, she encountered Spider Breath and thought it might help her be less scared, so she bowed and begged Rui to teach her.

By this time, Rui was very tired of students. Having Mother's company was nice and all, and Father and Brother were certainly powerful Demon Slayers who took to Spider Breath well, but it was getting to be a little much. This girl gave him her whole sob story and he cut her short saying that he wouldn't train her because she was wibbling and sobbing for someone to protect her, and that she was weak-willed; if she ever encountered her demon sister she'd probably drop her Nichirin blade and be eaten without a fuss. Thus, he sent her away.

This stirred up something in her, she knew he was right. She had to work on her own willpower first. So she did, and she went looking for her sister, and she killed her. It was an intense battle, both physically and emotionally, but she came out of it stronger. She used this as proof to Rui, who honestly didn't think she had it in her and found himself impressed, so he felt he should agree to teach her Spider Breath like she asked. After all, she had aptitude for it, and it made her a better Demon Slayer than her Water Breath did.

Father assumed they had a daughter. His whole world changed at the thought of having a daughter to protect. Mother and Sister had a bit of a tense relationship because Sister found her simple and not as strong as everyone else, but they slowly found a bond, partly through being the two female members of the group. They both found Brother weird and whispered about him together but ultimately accepted him.

Rui remained the center of this family, whom he never recognized as such. They were his demon slaying students, and he made sure they all knew that the strong were meant to protect the weak. And, with him being the strongest, he accepted the annoyance that this meant he had to protect them a lot of the time.

They all wanted to support and care for him, though. And eventually, Rui started letting that into his heart. It was scary to have familial bonds again--after all, that bond was what got his parents killed.

But eventually, he let them into his heart, allowed himself to feel vulnerable again, and cared for. That became part of his healing process to accept the sacrifice his parents made for him.

Also, everyone else started getting marks on their faces from Spider Breath practice too. The end.

[bfwsdas]

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[lolboosts01]

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League of Legends Boosting: A Path to Glory

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[claricezillerauthor]

Your Road Map To Hidden Power

Tips To Unlock Your Potential

Feeling Stuck? It's Time to Unlock Your True Potential!

Do you ever feel like you're going through the motions but not quite living your best life? Maybe you keep putting off that dream project or find yourself constantly frustrated by everyday challenges or setbacks.

Believe it or not, many of us lack true self-awareness, which can hold us back from reaching our full potential. This lack of understanding can lead to unsatisfying relationships, dead-end careers, and a general feeling of being lost often at times.

But here is the good news! You can overcome these obstacles by unlocking your true self and embracing a life filled with purpose and fulfillment. This blog will be your roadmap to self-discovery, helping you tap into your hidden strengths, navigate challenges with confidence, and finally live the life you were meant to live.

Here are some tips to help unlock your potential and lead a more authentic life!

Know Yourself: The first thing you should do is conduct a self-reflection or assessment. Take your time, sit in a quiet place, and reflect on who you truly are your motivations, weaknesses, strengths, and goals. Embrace your unique personality traits and watch yourself blossom into your best self.

Unleash Your Strengths: Everyone has unique traits. You need to find yours. Are you a natural leader, highly analytical, an expert in solving conflicts, or a great and supportive friend? Perhaps you are brave like Giovanna Hart, who embodies the courage and determination to reach Pearl City in “Giovanna Hart: The Call of Laniwai.” Identifying and capitalizing on your strengths boosts your confidence and helps you achieve your goals more effectively.

“Giovanna Hart: The Call of Laniwai” is a heartwarming tale of Giovanna, a spirited 10-year-old who finds herself during a pandemic-induced isolation. Her world takes a remarkable turn when a rainbow named Tomé becomes the gateway to an extraordinary realm. Laniwai is a garden filled with challenges, fantastical creatures, and a journey that unfolds like an exciting game. Giovanna, affectionately known as Nannah, discovers the courage, daring spirit, and pure joy of fun. With the motto of “faith, hope, and love,” Nannah navigates this new world, realizing the importance of focus and strength in nurturing her skills. This book embodies the universal qualities of courage, confidence, and faith — helping every one of us to be more resilient than ever before. Get your copy on Amazon: https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0CWPGJKQT/.

Turn Weaknesses into Opportunities: No one is perfect, and we all have flaws. However, the important thing is to understand that weaknesses are not something to be afraid of. Instead, you can use them as opportunities for improvement, like Giovanna does to reach Pearl City. Maybe you are an introvert who likes to live on your own. Good for you because you can understand things clearly, observe more, and listen effectively.

Embrace a Growth Mindset: A growth mindset is the conviction that one can succeed despite setbacks. This positive mindset allows you to see challenges as opportunities to learn and grow,  embrace criticism as constructive, and persevere through setbacks.

So, are you ready to unlock your true potential and live a life brimming with purpose and fulfillment? Remember, this journey starts with YOU. Embrace your unique qualities, leverage your strengths, and transform your weaknesses into stepping stones for growth. 

Think of it like Giovanna Hart in "Giovanna Hart: The Call of Laniwai." When faced with isolation and uncertainty, she didn't let it define her. Instead, Nannah embraced the adventure that came her way, discovering hidden strengths and a newfound confidence. Just like Giovanna, you have the power to navigate challenges, unlock your potential, and reach your own "Pearl City" – a life filled with meaning and joy. Now, it's your turn to embark on your own extraordinary adventure – one that leads you straight to your true potential!

[ruchirathor]

Unlocking Your Potential: How to Leverage Strengths and Weaknesses for Growth

Introduction

Have you ever felt stuck in a rut, like you're spinning your wheels and not getting anywhere? We all have – it's a natural part of the human experience. But what if I told you the key to unlocking your potential might be hiding in plain sight?

That's right, I'm talking about your strengths and weaknesses. Often, we focus on our weaknesses, those areas we perceive as shortcomings. But the truth is, both strengths and weaknesses can be powerful tools for growth – if we know how to leverage them effectively.

Why should we care about our strengths and weaknesses?

Simple – by understanding them, we gain valuable insights into how we operate best. We can use our strengths as a foundation for success, while identifying areas for improvement to become a more well-rounded individual, both personally and professionally.

So, how do we leverage strengths and weaknesses for growth?

Let's dive deeper:

1. Identifying Your Strengths (and Flaunting Them!)

The first step is to identify your strengths. Often, these come so naturally that we might not even recognize them. Here are some ways to uncover your hidden gems:

Self-Reflection: Take some quiet time to reflect on what tasks you find energizing and what comes easily to you. Do you excel at problem-solving? Are you a natural leader? These are all potential strengths.

Feedback Loop: Ask trusted friends, colleagues, or mentors for their honest feedback. What are your greatest strengths that they've observed?

Once you've identified your strengths, don't be afraid to leverage them!

Here's how:

Play to Your Strengths: Seek out opportunities that allow you to utilize your strengths. For example, if you're a creative thinker, volunteer for projects that require brainstorming and out-of-the-box solutions.

Become an Expert: Continually develop your strengths through training, reading, or practice. Becoming a master in your area of strength makes you a valuable asset in any team.

2. Facing Your Weaknesses (Without Fear!)

We all have weaknesses – areas where we might struggle or feel less confident. But instead of hiding them or letting them hold you back, use them as a springboard for growth.

Here's how:

Embrace the Challenge: Accept that weaknesses are an inevitable part of being human. Instead of viewing them as limitations, see them as opportunities to learn and grow.

Be Specific: Don't just say you're "bad at public speaking." Narrow it down. Is it stage fright? Fear of organization? Once you pinpoint the specific weakness, you can create a plan to address it.

Strategies for Tackling Weaknesses:

Seek Help: Don't be afraid to ask for help from mentors, colleagues, or even online resources. There are countless courses, workshops, and books dedicated to skill development.

Baby Steps: Don't try to conquer your weaknesses overnight. Start with small, achievable goals and gradually increase the difficulty as you gain confidence.

Conclusion

By acknowledging your strengths and weaknesses, you're essentially creating a detailed self-portrait. This self-awareness empowers you to harness the full power of who you are. When you leverage both these strengths and weaknesses effectively, you create a beautiful symphony of growth, success, and self-actualization. By taking control of your self-awareness and embracing both your strengths and weaknesses, you unlock your full potential and pave the way for a more fulfilling and successful future.

[anniekoh]

I've been slowly, tentatively learning about birds and going out to bird, courtesy of the Bird Alliance of Oregon and the Feminist Bird Club. And of course, reading a zillion books about birds. Find More Birds is super helpful and I loved Slow Birding for its focus on the often overlooked "common" birds. The third book is on my to read list!

Find More Birds: 111 Surprising Ways to Spot Birds Wherever You Are

by Heather Wolf (2023)

"Packed with excellent photos and tips, deeply relatable anecdotes, and a palpable sense of joy, this gem of a book will make you a better birder."—Rosemary Mosco, author of A Pocket Guide to Pigeon Watching Seeing more birds than you ever imagined and witnessing exciting avian drama is possible—whether you're on the go or in your own neighborhood, local park, or backyard. As Heather Wolf explains, it all comes down to how you tune in to the show happening around you, the one in which birds—highly skilled at staying under the radar—are the stars. In Find More Birds, Heather shares her very best tactics—and the jaw-dropping photographs they helped her capture. Look for birds at their favorite "restaurants"— from leaf litter to berry bushes, and ball fields to small patches of mud. Watch for "tree bark" that moves . . . you may find it has feathers. Try simply sitting on the ground for a revealing new perspective. Plus, special tips point the way to crowd favorites such as hummingbirds, owls, and eagles—and can't-miss bird behaviors. As your senses sharpen and "noticing" becomes second nature, Find More Birds will turn your daily routines into bird-finding adventures, too. Whether you're strolling down the block or parking your car, you never know what will surprise you next!

Slow Birding: The Art and Science of Enjoying the Birds in Your Own Backyard

by Joan E. Strassmann (2022)

Many birders travel far and wide to popular birding destinations to catch sight of rare or “exotic” birds. In Slow Birding, evolutionary biologist Joan E. Strassmann introduces readers to the joys of birding right where they are. In this inspiring guide to the art of slow birding, Strassmann tells colorful stories of the most common birds to be found in the United States—birds we often see but might not have considered deeply before. For example, northern cardinals thrive in the city, where they are free from predators. White brows on a male white-throated sparrow indicate that he is likely to be a philanderer. This essential guide to the fascinating world of common, everyday birds features: detailed portraits of individual bird species and the scientists who have discovered and observed themadvice and guidance on what to look for when slow birding, so that you can uncover clues to the reasons behind specific bird behaviorsbird-focused activities that will open your eyes more to the fascinating world of birds     Slow Birding is the perfect guide for the birder looking to appreciate the beauty of the birds right in their own backyard, observing keenly how their behaviors change from day to day and season to season.

The Private Lives of Public Birds: Learning to Listen to the Birds Where We Live

by Jack Gedney (2022)

Jack Gedney's studies of birds provide resonant, affirming answers to the questions: Who is this bird? In what way is it beautiful? Why does it matter? Masterfully linking an abundance of poetic references with up-to-date biological science, Gedney shares his devotion to everyday Western birds in fifteen essays. Each essay illuminates the life of a single species and its relationship to humans, and how these species can help us understand birds in general. A dedicated birdwatcher and teacher, Gedney finds wonder not only in the speed and glistening beauty of the Anna's hummingbird, but also in her nest building. He acclaims the turkey vulture's and red-tailed hawk's roles in our ecosystem, and he venerates the inimitable California scrub jay's work planting acorns. Knowing that we hear birds much more often than we see them, Gedney offers his expert's ear to help us not only identify bird songs and calls but also understand what the birds are saying. The crowd at the suet feeder will never look quite the same again. Join Gedney in the enchanted world of these not-so-ordinary birds, each enlivened by a hand-drawn portrait by artist Anna Kus Park.